We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they’d rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase – ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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@ BLKPRIDE…. I feel what you say as well. I’m not against people dating or marrying who they want but the throat slashing is not required nor desired. I’ve tired for years to understand why we whip on eachother like we do and alot of it is reactionary and nothing more than ego-defense mechanisms at work.
I’ll give an example, lets take Ron a brother who exclusively dates Latinas and never misses a opprotunity to point out all the reasons why he wont date a BW. It’s not enough for him to date his Latina and be happy but he always has to point out everything he see wrong with BW as justification for him doing so.
We have to look at his always focussing on BW because it says something about him, thats why they say, “when you want to know whats in a person’s heart you listen to the words that come out of their mouth.”
It’s obvious that he harbors some resentment and animosity towards BW, it’s possible these feelings come from past disappointments in relationships or from some traumatic experience in his life at the hands of BW but regardless of what happened he has internalized it and as a result it has left him feeling inadequate.
To compensate for these feelings of inadequacy he dates those he perceives as somehow being better or superior than the object of his resentment, it’s his way of saying, “I’ll show you and how ya like me now!” So his attraction to Latinas is not a pure attraction it’s a compensitory attraction.
IMO I think what he’s saying deep down inside his soul is, ” I want the love, admiration and respect of BW! I want to feel competent, wholesome and powerful.” He’s screaming this from the mountain top but no one is hearing him.
In his fustration and disappointment he’s lashing out at BW because he finds it easier thatn dealing with his internalized feelings of not being good enough, he’s a good brother but he’s allowed an outside agent to convince him that he’s somehow deficient and “as a man thinks so is he!”
He exclusively dates Latinas as a way of boosting his deflated ego, distorting reality and attemping to say to BW, “I’m worthy and she’s proof of it!. This brother is palying games and he’s wasting his and her time.
He’s not in love he’s in rebellion, he’s no different than a child having a temper tantrum over some need being unfulfilled and he’s gotten some unsuspecting women caught up in his foolishness.
It’s not WHAT you do but it’s WHY you do what you’re doing that’ll determiine it’s legitimacy.
If it’s not real it’s phony, if it’s not the truth it’s a lie but it is what it is! LMAO
Peace
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Well said sir!
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i’ve been exposed to a lot of the talk that we as a people bash one another with…i’ve seen the stereotypical views in movies and have heard them on records also…one that comes immediately to mind is for colored girls..and article pointed out that all of the contributing writers come from multiple failed relationships and divorces..it seems to run rampant in our race. also noting that one of the main reasons for divorce is finances..we as a disenfranchised group have not been aforded the justice as international law would apply in reparations. other groups in america and abroad have had this application of law applied when it was due. we as black males have never been in control of our economical destiny ..therefore are not viewed as good providers in most situations…we still remain the last hired first fired. this brings to mind the willie lynch letter, whether real or not we are witnessing the effects…movies and songs that speak out about how some black males respond to the results what has been imposed upon the family is highlighted in our music and movies often times..essence spoke of this because when the person that bought essence first bought it..his first article was about how black women are lonely because they limit their choices to black men only. i have pulled up blogs where sisters are denouncing and disengaging their relationship with essence because of the black male bashing that it does. since i was a kid, i always heard the expression to empower the black woman and never really heard balance of the same for the black male.. deeper still to hire a black woman over a black male represents two birds with one stone…for she is a double minority..she’s female and she is black…deeper still the doctrine that i’ve read in paper that i’ve seen distributed is to…learn their lingo, gain their trust, sex the women, water down the seed…khemet if you are not aware, is where the slaves in america came from…this area belongs to the circle of kush..which entails ethiopia, erittrea, sudan, and khemet…which is now called egypt, since the greek , roman, and arab, infiltration. i do have to wonder what is the take of those aware…that had the people of our race had been afforded the application of the law of repairing for damages as the jews experienced 5 billion dollars for 14 years, how many of our black males would be sitting in prison earning the state 500 dollars per head per day for that particular state where they are imprisoned. had the application of geneva law…as in reparations been applied, how many would have or could have turned out to be doctors, lawyers, engineers, or whatever gift or talent that he desired to cultivate and refine…as the jews did. when i saw the movie i think i love my wife and they had a conversation at dinner about how blacks should do like the jews…they failed to mention that difference of application of the law. our families are financially frustrated, stressed out, and living in fear of not knowing where the next meal is coming from. if you study the works of people like delbert blair, ray haggin, phil valentine, dr. john henrik clarke, sara suten seti and the likes, we come to knowing more about ourselves than what history tells us. incidentally we only have a month for black history…not enough for our contributions to many of the societies that have benefited from our sufferings. i am an advocate of women and men being equals to serve as each other’s balance in this thing called life as they search for this thing called love…if one desires another from an outside race..so be it…but it is troubling to hear it put that black men are not good providers and things that speak of his frustrated position economically…it’s as if a system castigated him then ridicules him for being what appears to his woman as destitue…without application of law….there are those that would say that happened so long ago…so did that law…and it has also been applied to the american natives…and the japenese world war two slave encampment detainees….personally to me…it’s almost like a man throws junk and clutter in my yard then tells my woman she can do better than a junky man like me…wow…is anybody out there.
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I will also add that sometimes when they say all black, white, asian men/women did this to me or cheated on me. Most of those people need to look at theirself and check out their selection process because whoevery you are dating you shouldn’t always be being used, abused, cheated on or whatever. It is easier to blame the race of the indivisual than take personal responsibility for who you are picking
One of my closest friends is PR she stopped dating latino men, then black men, then somoans. I told her she needs to look at why she keeps choosing the wrong men.
She argued me up and down. Well hopefully she will figure it out before she runs out of races and becomes a lesbian.
well said, but I do get concerned when I hear people say they are dating ir because they want their kids to be cute with light skin and good hair.
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I have never heard anything so well stated that lots of African-Americans (male and female) need to read! Bravo!
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What’s more important than people being OK with interracial relationships is for white men to come together with black men and white women to come together with black women, as in brotherhood. Let us all put down the animosity, prejudice and preconceived notions. This climate of racial tension exists because people continue to “stick to their own”.
I know it’s not easy to overcome what people have said (through stereotyping) if you’re not accustomed to having relationships (friendships, not sexual) with those of other backgrounds. A lot of people have heard the phrase “to know me is to love me”. How well do we know each other? How many lies have I subscribed to? How well do I know myself? We must be honest with ourselves and each other.
Love is a powerful thing. The love (eros) between a man and a woman is a glorious thing that can’t be diminished. I would like to submit to you what King David said of his comrade and brother Jonathon from 2 Samuel 1:26…I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.
This kind of love is not romantic love, but a brotherly love. Surpassing romantic love. King David and Jonathan may or may not have been of the same background. That’s not the point, I am simply highlighting brotherly love.
Can we identify that our brothers are not our enemy? My white brother, black brother, Mexican brother, Asian brother, they are not my enemies. Though some would be persuaded otherwise ( to blindly hate) , I have to be able to distinguish between the root cause of why a person may hate me and the person that is being used as a pawn to serve a hateful purpose or goal.
I would like to communicate more at this time, but must cease. Can anyone hear this?
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NOPLAYER ,
your words are of wisdom.
” If it wakes up next to you, that means you took it home with you!”
Is a true statement. But sometime people have ways of deceiving. I’ve had patients called or come to the clinic crying after their mates have died-just finding out their mates lived double lives after being married for years. Though I think sometime one may rush to relationships, at times that’s not the case at all.
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@ kissime…
You’re right people do have a way of deceiving and we have no control over a mates decision to lie or be truthful but before you get too serious with a person you have to get to know them( though you’ll never fully know them).
Me personally, I have to spend alot of time around you and your family and those closest to you. I can tell alot about a person by observing them around their family and friends. I can tell by your bond with them if there’s a potential for us to bond.
If your attachment to those you love and the causes you believe in is stronger than your attachment to things then that says alot about you and your wiliingness to form and dedicate yourself to a serious relationship. I would pay special attention to how you treat the men in our family and how you relate to male friends or associates.
It pays to be on the lookout for the “warning lights” but often times we’ll let other things distract us from paying attention, such as good sex, physical attractiveness or the thrill of always having a goodtime and befrore we know it we’ll end up attaching with a person that might not be the right one for us.
I can honestly admit that when looking back on past relationship that ended on a sour note, it was due to my failing to see something that I should’ve paid attention to or I saw the signs but I got caught up in focussing on everything eccept the important things but you live and you learn and hopefully grow wiser as a result.
Continue to be BLESSED!
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RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I respect that you have realized that and learned from your mistakes. Most people don’t so you are 10 steps ahead and most likely won’t repeat them. Best of luck to you in your persuit for love and/or marriage.
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NOPLAYER ,
I accept your blessing
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@NOPLAYER…I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! PERSONALLY I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT A BLACK WOMAN. I TRIED DATING OUTSIDE MY RACE AND FOR SOME REASON I FELT LIKE I WAS CHEATING. THAT EXPERIENCE MADE ME REALIZE WHY I LOVE BLACK WOMEN SO MUCH. THEY UNDERSTOOD ME BETTER. I’M ATTRACTED TO ALL RACES OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, BUT I’M CONNECTED TO BLACK WOMEN. IF FOLKS WANT TO DATE OUTSIDE THIER RACE MORE POWER TO THEM, ITS JUST IGNORANT TO DOWN YOUR OWN.
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Whether you choose to date within or outside your race (or both), it’s all about what you are attracted to. Dating exclusively within or outside your race doesn’t make one closed minded, it just makes the person more certain of what he/she want…unless the exclusivity is based on hate.
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Elegantbelle,i liked your comment.You hit the nail right on the head in your last sentence when you said……unless the exclusivity is based on hate..to go along with your comment,there are people on these blogs that are so upset with the fact that dating outside of your race is getting more popular that all they can do is down the women and men for doing it.They do not care if you are young, middle aged or elderly or where you are from,they have no remorse.There comments are,as you say,Elegantbelle…..exclusivity based on hate! Take care.
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LMAO
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I’ve dated black woman for the last 8-10 years now, And the reasons are simple. First and foremost, I just find them to be exotically beautiful. but it goes alot deeper than that, They do have an air of confidence that i find to be sexy. Also they seem to have the ability to break down the most complex problems to a point where it’s almost easy to understand. I was engaged to a black woman who was my absolute soul mate, and by being open and honest, She gave me more insight to myself than i could have ever imagined, And I couldn’t have loved her more. unfortunately for me and her, she passed away from cancer four years ago, I have never seen a more braver person than her. i miss her every single day. I only can hope when it’s my time to go, I’ll be as brave as her. GOD BLESS YOU MARY, I’ll love you for ever.
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It’s obvious how connected you were to Mary. I’m so sorry cancer took her away from you. I wish you a peace.
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I’m going to be VERY honest here. I read and hear plenty of people saying that love sees no color. That may be true for some, but not for others. In my case, that is not true at all. I CLEARLY see color and become attracted to it. As I have said on a few forums, I am attracted to men of a MUCH lighter hue, which is why I go for men outside my race, generally. I don’t see this as a good or bad thing. It’s just the way it has been for me since my childhood…..just my two cents
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I wish everyone on this site a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year with your Mate and Loved ones. I’m still reading the comments and enjoying them. But you did not finish the Story:)
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LOL….there is no other part to the story that I can think of. I might have to do some digging if you want the rest. Happy Holidays to you as well ChocolatLadi
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Cynamyn82,That was not just two cents,that was a whole dollar ! Just keep following your heart,honey ! You will be alright. EddyReady cares!
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Thank you EddyReady! I will keep following my heart and refuse to cure the jungle fever I have. You do the same
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@Cynamyn82
The doctor just told me my jungle fever was terminal,i’m going to have to live with it forever ! Wow,what a way to go! SMILE.
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I date all cultures,but with that said I don’t anyone should be traders to their own race…never for a second do totally disregard my own race of women for another…I think it’s wrong and a cop-out,people who are just looking for an excuse to turn their backs on their own for another excuses excuse excuses,and it’s just sad,
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I don’t feel that I’m a trader to my race at all, so I disagree. I am attracted to Nice men. They are White.Their looks may make me notice them, but their hearts and positive actions toward me makes me want to stay and partner with them.Lots of Black men are Nice too- I am just not strongly attracted that way. I see attractive Black men online and on the street with all kinds of women, I truly wish all of them happiness with whoever they choose, I know what works for me. I’d rather get very real about what I want, and I feel that it’s my choice, just like men have the choice to do whatever they want. Lying about it and eventually hurting Black Men, is the greater wrong. I’m glad to see Black Women like me wanting men to love them, looks are only part of the story. And another thing I never tricked anyone for money. I have my own money and want to share what I have. If you get with me your money will be invested and grow. Not all Black women have golddigger tendencies. I realize people will not agree with me and that’s fine. I’m me and that’s it.
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Thanks for your honesty! I must be honest as well I am extremely attacted to white men. It’s not something I can change thats just the way it is. There are some very attractive brothers out there but I had to be real thats not what I like. I love every thing about white men – particularly their honesty (most of them), their affection, and the willingness to be themselves. I’m with you I like the lighter hue! There are some black men who only date white women and there are some black men who will only date black women. Why??? Because thats what they like.
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Dropping by to wish all a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year. The world is wonderful, so please take the time enjoy all of it’s wonders. At this time of the year we must count our Blessings, and most of all give Thanks to our Beloved Savior Jesus Christ. Although the world is not perfect, we can strive to make it so, that is our given task.
Thank you all so much for letting us share our story, Scoff and I Love each and everyone of you.
Merry Christmas
Scoff/Sarah
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BLKPRIDE, NOPLAYER, EDDYREADY/BIGTEN, viator1:
I want to thank you all for regarding the blogs with such respect. You all have always made your points without degradation. Your intellectual decadence shows true class.
BLKPRIDE, though I think your approach may have been surprising, you have never expressed ugliness by nature. I appreciate your humility. And your acknowledgment of how things can be at a balance shows the man that you are.
I would really like for you all to engage in these conversations–for I can only communicate effectively with men and women of great nobility.
Sincerely,
Kissime
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Just to chime in here… I’ve been attracted to all races, but I seem to end up dating white guys. idk why, but I do love looking into bright eyes!
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CJeleven,
Green, blue, and gray eyes are my weaknesses, which is another reason why I’m attracted to white men.
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For me, the physical differences are a huge attraction. I am white w/green eyes. Black women seem to be drawn to me like I am to them. Every one makes a comment about my eyes. I like the way black women are very individual, have strong personalities, and I think the differences in our physical makeup produce explosive sexual and emotional bonds. I have dated all races…but always end up steering towards the beautiful black woman in the crowd. Just waiting for the day I find that one I can’t live without…
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You need to come my way, TexasT1 =P
Yeah I get lost in bright-colored eyes. I can’t help it.
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I am only a couple states away right now…
I agree with your earlier comment. I think it is ok to be attracted to a particular “type” of person. I don’t agree with people saying everyone should stay with “their own” though. Life is short. If you know what you like…go for it.
From my experience, many black women are not sure how to initiate or develop a relationship with a white man. I say just do it. That’s what I did. I grew up sheltered in a small town. After college, I worked with this beautiful girl named Kaye. She made it clear through co-workers she was very interested in me and that got my interest. I initiated and asked her out, we dated until she got a job tranfer she had to take. It was my first experience with a black woman, and it was great. Since then I would say 70% of the women I have dated are black. I can see myself marrying a black woman someday. I am still open to any race, however I find myself more attracted to and looking for my beautiful black bride!!
All I can say to everyone is don’t be a hater. I have experienced all the looks from blacks and whites that don’t approve for some reason of interracial dating. Hopefully the smiles on our faces tell the whole story. It doesn’t matter. If you are happy together, you have been blessed.
Live well, love hard, and just enjoy the ride!!!
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I just viewed your profile and OMG! Your eyes are captivating. Like you said, the smiles on your faces tells the whole story. The only ones who have something negative to say about interracial relationships are usually very ugly on the outside, as well as the inside. A very secure person would not be bothered by mixed-race couples. They don’t have to like it, but they must know how to mind their business and carry on with life.
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That comment was for TexasT1, BTW.
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I find it awesome that so many more American black women are choosing to date outside the ‘race.’ When you think about it we are all one race, which is human. I have been attracted to men of all races but as all girls see themselves marrying the guy they want to be with, the one I’ve pictured has always been a white guy. The world needs contrast. Otherwise how would we develop our preferences? I may very well end up falling in love with a black guy. I’m open to all of life’s possibilities. I’m just being honest when I say that’s unlikely.
That said, I don’t find just any white guy potentially compatible…just because he’s white. A girl’s got standards. And I don’t expect him to want me just because I’m black. At the end of the day, we have to mesh as humans. Real love is hard to find whatever color you happen to come in!
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Very true!
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A lot of very profound comments on this topic.. Good food for thought. I personally appreciate a respectful gentleman, in whatever shade he is meant to be.
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I am a White British Male and have been dating black woman for the best part of 30 years- that is my attraction and I am more than happy with that- I am going back to the early 1980′s when in London you did not see many mixed race couples- yes you did get some looks but when you’re over 6′ as I am and together with one of my hard stern looks, that would always be sufficient to make sure that nobody would dare challenge me- today of course it is more common- I have contacts on the other side of the Atlantic so I have had the opportunity to have dated lovely black woman from both the UK and the US- my message to all of you on this site is be true to yourself regardless of you’re race- do not be afraid to date outside of you’re own colour- if other people black or white object then you make sure you stamp on there bigotry and ignorance in an assertive manner- have the courage of you’re convictions.
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I’m attracted to men who are attracted to me! Enough said. I date men who find my African features and skin tone beautiful. Black women are well aware of what Black men view is desirable as a collective. And it is not the “typical” Black women, but Black women who appear to have a mixed racial background. For me, its not about race, but who generally finds me desirable. White men who date Black women usually are attracted to women who have “typical” African features.
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So true !!! Enough said.
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@ bookworm32 – I see why any man would be attracted to you, YOU’RE A VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN! (no flirt intended)
I guess it’s no different then when alot of BW didn’t give dark complexioned BM the time of day, if he didn’t look like Al B. Sure, Christopher Williams or El DeBarge a brother didn’t have a chance. It wasn’t until Hollywood, entertainment or the sports industry made dark skinned brothers fashionable in the eyes of alot of BW with the emergence of brothers like Weasley Snipes, Morris Chestnut, Tyson Beckford and Micheal Jordan, then it became cool to want a dark skinned brother.
It looks like a case of what goes around comes around.
Both BM and BW have gotten caught up in letting others define what is attractive to us and what is not. Look at the imagery that bombards us everyday all day long during our adolencent years while our minds are developing and forming opinions based off of what we see.
They say seeing is believing because if you see something so long enough then you start to believe what you see and the subtle message attached to the thing you see. I believed Jesus was a white man while growing up because I’d never seen him depicted as anything but white, so this goes to show that if you see something long enough it’ll sink in on you and you’ll accept it for what it is.
White or very light skin always been partryed as the standard of beauty in just about everything we see even in blk magazine they just recently as 15 years ago started adding dark skinned women in the advertising and if she was dark skinned she had to have long shoulder lenght hair and she couldn’t be too full-figured, with a broad nose or thick lips.
Too many of us have internalized other peoples standards and ideals of beauty and takiing hold of the old, ” if your light your alright but if your blk then stay back” foolishness and some of us are crazy enough to select a mate on the virtues of that foolishness and all of the stereotypes that are attached to skin color.
Before I got married I had to do some serious soul searching to make sure I wasn’t about to make a life long decision based on some preconceived notion or media hype. I wanted to know in my heart that I was marrying a women and not some fantasy or prevailing myth attached to her and I didn’t want to be wrapped up in skin complexion or eye color or none of the superficial stuff because after looking at it for so long it ceases to even attract your attention and beside you can’t build a life together based on that alone.
It’s natural to be attracted to what we see but we have to look deeper than what we see because trust me alot of people are caught up in the prevailing sexual myths associated with those with certain physical features and I’ve been around long enough to know that “every thing that gliters aint gold!”
Other than that, love the one thats trying to love you and the rest will take care of itself!
Peace
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I have been reading your post for years and you are “deep” I am a direct person and I can appreciate your communication style! LOL…….I know that “deep” is cliche.
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I am surprised to hear that. Me and all of my friends were always attracted to darker skinned brothers, but they were with light skinned women. I didn’t know that dark skinned brothers came against the same color preference inn some parts of the country.
But I agree I am not going out of my way to be anything other than myself and men from other races are more often attracted to me.
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I’m 30 years old and i dated black women and And i do not date white women .And I’m looking for a black woman to date maybe more? And some black women A not into dating white men .But I’m looking for someone to live my life with and have kids with .And i do not know how about go about finding a black woman ????
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My name is Rich.I have been dating black women for 5 years .And i do not date white women.My last woman 6 years ago was white. But I’m looking for a black woman and do not know how about to find a black woman? I live in warren OH and there is nothing to do here .But go out to eat ..How do i find a black woman and how do i know if she is in to white men???
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Rich,I hope that you don’t think that finding a black woman will solve all your problems. I don’t know about Warren , Ohio, but isn’t Cincinnati filled with Black woman? As far as finding a woman( any woman), be confident and approach one. All she can do is say “yes” or “no”.
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I agree with Happy, Rich, however, I have lived in Cincinnati, and that is 4 hours away from you. I would try Youngstown, Oh or even stretch your search up to Michigan. Best of luck. Just don’t stop at black women. Open to all others of color also.
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Pittsburgh is only 1 1/2 hours away also.
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Hi pushoverbig,
If you see a BW that you are attracted to just say hello tell her that you htink she is beautiful and would like to get to know her better get her phone number and ask her out on a date. Most women will respond positively to sincerity.
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It would be nice if interracial dating didn’t focus on race so much. Like there has to be some other reason to why she will only date a white man other than she likes him, or the question I am tired of seeing ” why white men love black women.” I usually see tons of questions to be answered when a black woman is in the relationship with a white guy, and so much of having to explain yourself.
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@JustSaying
I agree with you,pretty lady.How about talking about all the good times they have together and why they like each other so much and maybe we can all really learn from it.EddyReady/BigTen cares !
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It would be nice to know why individual couples like each other. I hate separating people. White man/black women isn’t the only interracial couples out there. People have their reasons to why date they who they do, but it shouldn’t be just racial.
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It’s funny how when it’s a black woman dating outside her race it’s because she has self-hate. LOL please me more credit than that. I love being black and who I date doesn’t define how much I love my race. Get a clue this is 2011 stop with the stereotypes.
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Self-hate? Very interesting comment. I think I know what you mean. Hate may not be the correct term.
However, you did say “SOME” black women.
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I date who and what I like and that is only answer that people need. We are grown men and women on this site and we do not have to explain our attractions to any one race. A man is a man and that is all that matters. We all want relationship that makes us happy and fulfilled. So let’s move on to the next topic…….
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I am a black woman and i must admit that i find white guys(though not all)very attractive.The reason as to why black women date white guys is not only cos of their feelings but also the fact that these guys are different from us.I personally love the contrast of their skin colour(black annd white).Oh and by the way,the mixed kids gotten from a black and white couple are to dye for.
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now that says self hate if you think biracial kids are better looking because they are lighter with non african features. You sound like you are trying to delute your race. And I date outside my race.
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Sorry.I meant are to DIE for not dye for lol
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I date who I am attracted to simply put. I have no reason to date a black man because he is the same race. Now because I am attracted to white men does not mean white men are superior or better than a black man. The contrasts for me in skin color are not that drastic I am not turned on by the skin thing like other women have said. I seek out a like minded man so we have the same interests so the opposites attract idea is not relevant.
I want to be happy and I know being happy in a relationship is having white man for my mate.
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@DizzyDean69
I like what you said and the way you said it,honey.That is what being an adult is all about,making your on choices that work for you in life no matter what anyone else thinks.It’s you life,follow your heart and live it the way you want. EddyReady/BigTen cares !
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A man is a man….lol His color has nothing to do with it. You get the good and the bad in ALL races and ethnicities. Some do have their preferences, but you should not close your mind to a person based on their race. You never know the one for you may be the one you closed your eyes too. You never know who God is going to send to us, or in what package either….
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I doubt that it is solely based on physical characteristics, because I believe that Black men are the finest men on the planet, but the attitude that most Black men have turns me off, I like strong men and believe that a man should provide for his family. I am old school all the way! The trade off when you date interracially is that most White men also agree that a man should be a good provider, but I notice that most of them have no concept of how different the world is for non-whites. They tend to have little or no reaction to injustice because ultimately they believe that it has no impact on them directly. I am not just talking about racial injustice. I think that most White men have low character due to the fact that many are not challenged in life, so they can float through life being mediocre, while the world sings their praises.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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My last relationship was with a Black man, the one before that was with a White man. I agree with those who say that its fine to date whoever you want. There is nothing wrong with that. I also agree the problem comes in when you say you refuse to date a certain race based on bad experiences or really stupid stereotypes. Since I do not approach men, my dating life has mainly been shaped by who shows interest in me. If there is a spark there, we will see where it goes. I could care less what color you are, that is the least of my worries when I meet you. I care more whether or not you still live with your mama. LOL As a proud Black woman, it absolutely floors me that in my experiences it has been my own people for the most part that approach me and use words like “sellout” and “wannabe”. For centuries we’ve been told how to live, what to eat, where to live, where to sit where to learn and who to love. Now that we have that freedom, we choose to stay in the box. Its a BIG WORLD out there and there are a lot of experiences to be had. You only have one life. Do not deny yourself.
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I agree with you completely RockRave, sometimes the hardest thing about being black is everyone telling me (directly or indirectly) how to live my life.
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I love this story….it says so little or nothing.
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I’m attracted to both black and white men, but if I keep my options open (racially speaking) I have more chances of finding love, and my soulmate.
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I’m from London, England and i know this is an interracial dating site but i think black men get too much negative press!! I am a black woman who loves men period especially black men!! The ones i’ve comes across i’m still friends with, I find black men to be very hot sexy and smart, fantastic in bed and yes they do have bigger wotsits and know how to use it!!
No other man has really loved me like a black man has and even though i’ve been with men of other races i still come back to the dark chocolate, big brown eyed, smooth talking black man. It’s making me goose pimply just talking about it..lol Well that’s just my humble opinion. Thank you and have a nice day as you yankies always say!!
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I am a blk femlae who grew up as a army brat so I was introduced 2 different cultures races & ethnic backgrounds. For me seeing a blk man w/ a Germany woman or white or asian or latina didnt bother me because that is what I grew up around. Nor does it or did bother 2 see a blk woman w/ a white man or asian or latino or w/ any other race. I have been dating out side of my race since I could date. I have & do date blk men as well, but its been a while. I was told as a fuller thick figured woman noone but a blk man could or would be able 2 appreciate my curves & assets. Ummmm WRONG!!!! Nothing could be further from the truth. I will admit I was a lil worried if anyone but a blk would find me attracktivesense I wasn’t a slimmer woman, but I was proven wrg quick fast & in a hurry. My 1st boyfriend ever was latino & he made it clear 2 my that my curves were sexy & pleasing 2 him as well as my heart & my caring ways. He was the 1 that showed me that love is deeper then the skin. Its the heart n soul of a person no matter the color. We try 2 play it off if we thk a white man is attractive 2 them…well I don’t. If I like what I see (no matter what your race) well that’s me. I show no shame. I’m on this site 2 date interracially. I feel if u like what u like who I am 2 judge. As far as I know my name isn’t God. I am a woman who has grown up loving & befriending people of different cultures & races. I have friends from ever background. I love dating different men of different races…white, latino, islander, native american etc…I have a open mind because I have had exposure 2 an open world as a young child. I say u date who u want. Its ur life not mine. I’m grown & can do as I please. If u don’t dig interracial dating then what r ya doing on this site??? Lol (I’m just saying) I’ve only been on this site since Monday. I won’t become a full member until Friday, but so I am liking what I see & who is seeing me. Can’t 2 be able 2 send messages. I am liking the attention! Keep it coming!!
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In my opinion, Nothing wrong with dating outside of your race for the right reason. Which should be Love. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin acknowledging who you are as beautiful black women and accepting it. For instance, You may have dated a hundred black men that treated you like dirt, no one likes that feeling. But you learn from it and move on, not run from it or hide from it, treat it as if it don’t exist. It’s part of you, so you deal with it and move forward. No 2 men, or women are the same. so no 2 relationships should ever be the same. If so, you need to look in the mirror and check yourself. Because your choice and selection of the wrong men has now become a pattern. it has nothing to do with him being black. I don’t believe in victims to unhappiness only volunteers. Unless it’s out of her control. We as Black men and women are every bit of what our past has allowed us to become, nothing more nothing less. Limit who we are and that’s all we will ever be. So I feel some Black woman date white men for happiness, some don’t some do it to escape deeper issues.
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nordstrom dresses…
Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!…
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I have read most of the post on this subject about dating outside of your race and I guess for me I am also one of those who does. Well I cannot actually say it’s completely outside of my race. I know when people see me, they see a black female, but I’m not. I’m a mutt. Completely. My maternal grandfather was mostly Italian and a little Dutch. My grandmother was as dark as they come but she is Black and Native American. My father’s side they are Black, Native American (2 tribes), French and an Indigneous people from Central America. I’m proud to be what I am, but I am more drawn to Latino/Mediterranean/Native American men. I don’t know. It could be also the environment I grew up in. I am a military brat also, and the one place that stuck out to me the most was living in Hawaii, where that’s there is a mixture of people. That’s what Hawaiians are a race of people of a lot of other different races.
I feel being attracted to one race or another is just breded in us from a very early stage, not just by tv or society, but even maybe family.
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Hi GoddesLladyS,
I agree w/ ur reply. Being a ex army brat we were exposed 2 so many cultures & races that dating men of other races was just a norm 2 me & w/in the militery community its just anorm as well. I must admit I thk islander (samoian, hawiian) r sexy as hell, but haven’t seen 2 many of them on this site as I had wished. My fam I s a bred of mutts as well. My moms mom was very very light w/ grey eyes & wore her hair in 2 long braids….& her mother (my great grandmother was native america & my great grandfather was white. We r a mixture of different people & no1 pure anything (pure white, blk ect) not even. I am proud & love being a blk woman…that is why I don’t use the title African American becuz I am not African
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Hi GoddesLladyS,
I hope that this will be the site that my true is found. Lots of potential & open minds. Love 2 all! 
I agree w/ ur reply. Being a ex army brat we were exposed 2 so many cultures & races that dating men of other races was just a norm 2 me & w/in the militery community its just anorm as well. I must admit I thk islander (samoian, hawiian) r sexy as hell, but haven’t seen 2 many of them on this site as I had wished. My fam I s a bred of mutts as well. My moms mom was very very light w/ grey eyes & wore her hair in 2 long braids….& her mother (my great grandmother was native america & my great grandfather was white. We r a mixture of different people & no1 pure anything (pure white, blk ect) not even. I am proud & love being a blk woman…that is why I don’t use the title African American becuz I am not an African that became an american I am an american who is blk, but not pure blk. I guess it all boils down 2 knowing urself, loving who u r & knowing what u want. To thy ownself be true!
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I can’t speak for all “black women” but I can speak for myself. I date whomever I am attracted to and have the most in common with. At the time that I was dating, it happened to be a white male who caught my attention. There is nothing mysterious about why women of color date men from other races. I think it all boils down to preference. Allow me to adjust that last statement, there are “SOME” women of color who date white men for specific reasons, none having to do with love. These are individuals who may need
help from a therapist.
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shotgun007 says:I would really like for our world to come to a place where we can stop the malicious attacks against each other, intra-culturally speaking. Its’ okay if you prefer to date Mexican women, but to all the black men out there that might see this posting, please stop the cast-out insults on BW. The same goes for some of these white females that I also see postings from, professing their love for that “black man” that they are involved in and how they no longer prefer white men etc. I use these 2 examples because that is what I’m seeing mostly.
TYRANT replies: Is that what you’re seeing or is that what you’re CHOOSING to SEE? I’ve been on this board and others and I’ve seen black women BASH black men. In fact, all you have to do is go one page back to confirm this fact.
shotgun007 says: To everyone, by all means, your preference is your choice, so shall it be, but by all means please stop the down-trotting of your own race or making these crazy comparisons because we all have room for growth and change.
TYRANT replies: You’re right, there is room for change, but is it change for the BETTER or WORSE? There is NO DENYING the FACT that there’s a segment of black women-on this forum-who are INCAPABLE of dating a white man without BASHING black men in the process. I know, this is a BITTER pill to swallow, but it is what it is. I’m NOT going to ask black women to stop throwing out INSULTS to black men, because as ADULTS, both black women/men should be able to date whomever they wish without TRASHING each other in the process {At least in theory} *chuckle*.
Now I know this idea is WAY AHEAD of it’s time, but I can-and have-dated women of other races without DISRESPECTING black women in the process. Why? Because I’m the son of a black woman and I LOVE black women. Period.
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Not to steer completely away from the subject but there is something that I keep running into over and over again on these blog websites, topix, public forum, discussion boards etc.
I would really like for our world to come to a place where we can stop the malicious attacks against each other, intra-culturally speaking. Its’ okay if you prefer to date Mexican women, but to all the black men out there that might see this posting, please stop the cast-out insults on BW. The same goes for some of these white females that I also see postings from, professing their love for that “black man” that they are involved in and how they no longer prefer white men etc. I use these 2 examples because that is what I’m seeing mostly.
To everyone, by all means, your preference is your choice, so shall it be, but by all means please stop the down-trotting of your own race or making these crazy comparisons because we all have room for growth and change.
It just seems so unbefitting and quite silly to be frank.
For example, I will date Caucasian men and Latino men in a heartbeat. I think that most of the ones I have met are very straight forward and career driven. But that in no way implies that in the same breathe; you would hear me putting down black men.
Thanks for listening,
Shotgun
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I’m a 19 year old black Jamaican woman, I must say I love my black men, but somehow I’m just always coming back to white guys, what can I say…… I’m crazy about white guys. My family and friends don’t get it…. The say, I quote” how can u turn ur back on ur own kind for them that put us through so much” end quote… We r always having these fights about black woman dating white guys!!!!!!!! I just love looking into those colored eyes especially the guys with sea Blue eyes. Its my decision to choose who I want, and I made my decision and I owe no apology to no one……..!
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I love white men but its a challenge finding HOT white guys that feel the same for a black woman. But I do not mind dating guys from other races.
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I personally believe everyone should date who they want BUT,If you are someone who says that you don’t or won’t date your own race,then that’s when I have a problem with people.How can you was you’re not interested in dating someone who is the same color as you?it’s a known fact that us blacks have more in common with each other and can relate to each other more that any 2 people of the same race.But I have notice that majority of Black women who date outside the race are usually women who didn’t have their father around,could that be a part of the cross over?don’t know but I also believe that Hollywood with their constant pairing of black women with White Men is influential with making sistas crossover.I personally will date whoever I like no matter what color but when it comes to marriage and kids,I want a black woman,I want REAL black kids,but who knows,maybe a woman of another color will change my mind cause like that old say,love is blind,But if you are just dating other races cause you have a problem dating your own or flat out don’t like guys of your own race,then you are just a straight up sell out.
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I am responding to 713mandingo when I say my preference for cultured, nice men, who are white, has nothing to do with an absent father. My parents divorced when I was six, were separated for many years and when I was about 20, came back together and are married again to this day(I’m 48). My father changed out of his City uniform to go up to my Catholic Girls high school to greet all the Nuns and inspect my reports cards with my mother. No one else had their fathers there every time. He left my mother for a time, He Never Left Me, and now we are together as a family. He Does Not Like my preference in men, but he does like the men who are nice to me and treat me well.
I am well aware that White men have done horrible things to Black People. Slavery and Rape were dead wrong then and it’s dead wrong now. I was engaged once to a man who would look me in the eye and ask me if it was ok to touch me before we made love. I asked why he did that once, and he said he must always ask and I must always say yes. I felt respected and loved every time and it really hurt when it ended after six years. That is the action of a loving man. I felt the Love and it’s more than skin color. You have to do what’s right for you and I will do what’s right for me.
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bielizna sklep…
This design is steller! You certainly know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how y…
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kosmetyki…
Hi! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it tough to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to begin. D…
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I just love European men, because from my experiences, they are usually more cultured, more intelligent, and more ambitious. Some of the facets of life that are the most important to me, I cannot find in an American, so I prefer dating Europe. Having lived and worked in Europe, I would want to live there someday.
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DO TELL ….lol. I tend to agree with you although I haven’t dated any Europeans. I just tend to think they have a much better mindset about race and ethnicity….:)
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Well I seem to find that as well. I am not even looking for them. I want educated, open minded and fun. Then you go wth who approaches you. And alot of Europeans for me. Also people from Indian region or middle easteren. But most of these guys are all educated and independent so I am not complaining. Alot of africans are too, but culturally conservative like the middle easterners. But the middle easterns have been gentlemen, but would be scared to go their country as wife.
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Noni…
I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Great work!…
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You talk in alot of generalizations. Most black women perfer black men and the white men we are dating have no more control over these past artrosicies than you do.
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I’m going to be honest.
When I see a white man with a black woman. Me and my friends do our best to humiliate him. Like get him to bend down tie our shoelaces or something like that, just totally DE-MAN him. First off the white man is ALWAYS ugly. But looks in white men is not important for non white women what is important is his whiteness. But for black man ? OH NO. The black man will have to look like Tyson Becvford or something like that.
Brothers- Have you noticed the way non white women act around white men and black men ?
You notice the way with white men, non white women act more girly, more submissive, their eye contact is more intense when they are dealing with a white man. The body language is more open, there is none of that sarcastic one word answers that we brothers get, OH NO. With white men, they show a side to them, that they would never and will never show to a black man, ESPECIALLY a dark skinned Wesley Snipes type looking black man.
Sisters – You think the white man is so great ? You think the white man is better than black men. Yeah ? He used to rape black woman. Just think about that and this is the man who you think is so cultured.
Until we realise that the first rule of war is SEX, then the same thing with happen again and again. Happened with Egypt, a black civilisation but was eventually taken over when the Arabs moved in and started sexing black women, same will happen with many parts of Africa. You are seeing it already, the Chinese are coming in and sexing black women.
What ? Do we as people ALL WANT TO BE WHITE ?
Are we that desperate ? We all want white babies, white features because you have been so brainwashed into thinking that white is right.
A thousands ways the white man is TELLING US
WE DON’T WANT YOU TO LIVE HERE
WE DON’T WANT YOU TO WORK HERE
WE DON’T WANT YOU TO COME IN HERE
WE DON’T WANT YOU TO PLAY HERE
WE DON’T WANT YOU TO STUDY HERE
And these are men who you love so much ? The men who killed over a 100 thousand people in Haiti (they caused the quake) the men who cause famines, spread disease, kill Africans leaders, destabilise economies. These are men who have set-up institutions to destroy us. These are the men who never ever miss an opportunity to de-humanize, inferiorize and pathologize black people
There are men who you love so much ? The men who you think are so refined ?
You think I’m crazy ? *Yeah who is this crazy brother. This brother is crazy*
You don’t know who you are dealing. I’ll say it again
YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE DEALING WITH
.Maybe after every single black person is gone from the planet, maybe then and only then will people start to realise.
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I am for white men! They know how to treat a woman, they are real and don’t play games much as black men do! The way they care, love and CHERISH, I have dated both black and white and have enough experience, that’s why I love white men
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Some black women treat all men we date equally. The better they treat us the better they get treated. What about how black men treat non black women. And you are wrong women who date men are more concerned with independence and security then looks. I was astrounded when the brothers were trying to say how ugly Naomi’s man was. Ugly is in the eye of the beholder. And billionare trumpts looks with women of any race. There are alot of white women who would of wanted him.
But I see alot of successful bm dating and marrying nannies, porn stars, topless dancers and women successful white men wouldn’t look at. The black women want men who have drive and are successful and have chosen from the men in that pool of men. And black men are much more likely to date ir so what is the issue.
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@denilson is just another bitter babydaddy, is not married to his kids mother and does not live with his kids.
No matter what your race I would not date such a two face man.
Your pontification is ridiculous. Please do stay in London.
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@happygolucky
And you sound like a bitter, no man having black woman. Let’s say that denileson is a low down thug with multiple kids he doesn’t care for. WHAT PART OF THAT MAKES HIS ARGUMENT INVALID???? I don’t even agree with everything he said but you taking personal shots at him by using stereotypes he may not have because you don’t agree with his argument is complete foolishness. At least Reese gave a reasonable disagreement to his arguement.
But for the sake of maintaining civility denileson do as she suggest and stay in London and happygolucky please stay in hell.
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@happygolucky
You come off as a bitter and scorned woman. I see no need to verbally beat you down because it seems as if somewhere along the way someone already was, but I’ll leave you with this, ” you don’t allow someone to turn you certain way because they’ve treated you a certain way!” That gives them too much power over you.
Bashing BM again? Seriously what has it done for you? Has it relived you of your emotional constipation? When you’re done hating BM will keep on keeping on because despite your hatred for him there are so many BW and other women out there who love him, so get your own foot out of your way and maybe you’ll find some happiness somewhere.
When you’re too busy loving yourself you don’t have time to hate on other people!
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Thank You. Please say it again..Good and Bad come in ALL colors. However Love has no color and everyone has their own personal preferrence and entited to attraction.
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I can’t quite describe my preference when people ask me. I’ve felt like this over ten years. I’m about to be 26 this year. I agree that good and bad come in all colors. Now, we all have a list and most of the time – white men have most of what is on my list. That makes me happy. My dates have made me laugh, tried different types of things, caring, sensitive, smart, strong, etc. There is definitely an element of attraction as well. Don’t get me wrong, I am attracted to black men still but sometimes I feel there are more differences with black men than white men.
Yes, I’m well aware of the history that exists between black women and white men. I am never far from knowing my history, values, and experiences in America with white men. But there is also white in my family from generations ago, my family comes in all colors.
Who would I be to reject one of god’s creations?
In any event, this is my preference and will probably be for the rest of my life. I hope to find someone to love and care for me until the day I die. And I hope we make a beautiful legacy to leave behind like my ancestors did.
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