We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they’d rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase – ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
is the white race evil? no more than any other race. our evil is just the most recent. but you can’t hold me responsible for someone else’s actions. did my ancestors own slaves? yes, some did. did my father laugh when dogs attacked blacks during the civil rights movement of the 60′s? yes. but my parents became Christians and raised me different than they were raised. i was raised you were saved or unsaved. that was the only true difference that mattered. my grand father sat my dad down and taught him the “color line” of his generation. my dad taught me we were all one in our creator’s image. we all dream of a better life, a better future for our children, and love. do i believe racism is dead? no. if you take a group of children of all the different races and put them in a classroom they will sit near the other children who are similar in appearance. the sameness is comforting. but you come back to those same children a week later and they will be sitting with children who have similar interests regardless of how they look. our prejudices are taught. why say negative things about someone who chooses to look past our differences and see the individual. just because muslim terrorists caused 9/11 doesn’t mean all muslims are terrorists. nothing can change with out the first step and people looking at other people and seeing the individual is the first step. let these people lead with their heart and the world can not help but to be a better place. thank you, james
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As a Black woman growing up Canada in a white family, all white schools from montesorynthrough college, yeah I guess you could say for me it is preference. Growing up I liked the boys in my school, my teen idols were white ( well except for MJ, but then he well…..let me not speak ill of the dead). But through all that, I never had any white guy like me bace, some that was 12 years plus of loneliness. Until I turned 19 and could to the clubs and all the American sailors were there too and OMG I was told was pretty, and that they wanted to go out with me, take me out to dinner I was in heaven.
So I moved to the US to be with my Black men, and after 10 years of…well after 10 years I just realized that I needed to go back to my “roots” lol.
For me dating white men was easy, they did not make fun of me because I like classic rock, county and classical. More often then not our families have similar back grounds, our social and political views are similar and so on.
When dating black men I was always ridiculed sor speaking “white, dressing white, liking white music, whenat a party my date would say hey all listen to her talk! I have been told many times over that I am not a real black person because I did not grow up in the ghetto. And on the other side it was hard for black men to date me because I am so nice and do not have a “diva” side lol. One fellow just up and left me after he had come over for his birthday dinner. I ran him a bath, rubbed his……um…”back” dried him off, wrapped him in a soft robe, gave him a massage, sat him down to a candle light dinner it was so nice. About half way through he threw his fork down and yelled ” I can’t take it! Got his clothes and took off! He called when he got home and told me I was the nicest girll he had ever dated but he said ” don’t you ever get mad, throw a plate, kick a door? He said he was so wound up waiting for me to blow, and after six months of this stress building up in him, he just snapped! He was great too, I never had a reason to get mad with him so I never did!
But after a while it really boils down to the person on the inside, because I find myself looking at all profile of handsome men!
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That was an experience with one Brother who could not just enjoy the experience of being pampered. There is nothing wrong with treating a man nice and spoiling him a little. I’m sure you got angry when you had to be angry. It was all about him.
I got the “You’re trying to be white” speech all my life. I talk the way I talk and if it’s educated that is a good thing. There are great men of all colors all around. I have my preferences and I choose accordingly. Keep the faith. You’re young,pretty and nice. Things will turn around for you.
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my wife was very dark skinned but her mother taught her to speak proper english which didnt go over well with some blks in are neighborhood and i am white of irish ancestry and my children say the same thing about me i speak black which i really never noticed lol but it really is not funny to the person its being said about just be yourself and talk how you talk ma good luck
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I grew up in a white middle classy family in southern England UK, my stepfather was white English in a IR with my black mother from the early 90′s. My childhood friends was mostly white, mixed or Asian ( growing up in London), all of my crushes was on white guys, skin colour didn’t even cross my mind at that age.
I don’t think my family upbringing has had a huge impact on who I find attractive, I’ve never felt I’m suppose to date a Black man, that’s how it is for most Black British born… I have nothing bad to say about BM and most British black men have nothing bad to say about BW either. for me WM is my preference. I have only been interested in handsome attractive men that are white and from a similar background, with similar interests to me. I would never make a blanket statement as previous have done that ‘I love WM’ or ‘love white skin’, much too selective and its more about the individual.
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Sorr about the spelling mistakes it’s late! Lol
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Mmmm i love the white skin and strong men
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SunnyLisa:
! You awsome lady’s make the world go around 
!
Cool,baby girl
EddyReady
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I love white guys, have date, will only date and finally settle down with one
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@ DazzleYou
You just go girl,step to the plate and hit a home run
! Wist you the best !
EddyReady
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It’s all a matter of preferences, opinions, choices and/or experiences.
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This seems like a safe place for me to make this declaration: I prefer white men! I feel some hesitation in saying that, even anonymously on the internet, because we’re so conditioned into believing that only a preference within one’s own race is normal. I’m a black woman and up to this point in my life, I’ve only been with white men and I’m treated as if I’m wrong. I shouldn’t feel embarrassed or awkward about feeling the way I do but I can’t help it sometimes. No one criticizes the people who only date one race, when that race is their own, but in my case, it’s as if I’m a traitor or as if my preference stems from some sort of self-hatred. I love that Brendashiraz described is as going back to her “roots.” We may look different but I date guys who are like me, personality-wise. I won’t deny that I prefer the features that are more often found on white guys; I like longer hair (that I can run my fingers through and pull a little during *cough* um, yeah), pale or fair skin, certain accents, blue eyes, green eyes, blonde hair, red hair, brown hair, thinner lips… I just love all of that! I like rock music and I want to share that interest. love when a guy can construct a grammatically correct sentence. I expect that of adults who speak English as their only language and the inability to do so greatly turns me off, regardless of his race. I hold these feelings with no desire to change myself. I love my complexion, my curves (although I wouldn’t mind losing a few pounds), my coily dark hair, my brown eyes, my full lips and my nose. I like who I am and I like what I like. I’ve contemplated dating a black guy just so that I could say that I did because that would make me appear not racist but it would be inauthentic and I would just be using him. I just don’t see myself ending up with someone of my own race, in the long run. I’m not sure if this makes me racist or closed-minded but I just have a preference. I know I shouldn’t feel like that’s wrong but I’m still seeking validation so I appreciate that everyone else here has shared their feelings.
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If you are going to do something, do it well! That includes the English language! I hate it when black men tell me that I sound and/or act like a white person. Well, how else am I suppose to act? Like some ignorant uneducated jackass?! Yeah, right! That will should show everyone how black I am! Some black Americans need to face reality and realize that the greater majority of black Americans really don’t have a culture because most black Americans really don’t have a history. Black American culture is intermingled with European culture. Especially, Europeans of English, Spanish, and French descent. Ever since Africans came to America, most black people have been using white American culture and making it their own. So I do not know why some black folks wants to accuse other black people of sounding and/or act white. What?! Do those same ignorant black folks think that the English language came from Africa? I can’t stand an ignorant man. I don’t care what color he is! I was at the supermarket a couple of days ago, minding my own business and leaving everybody else’s business alone, when these two jackasses from hell walked passed me, and one of the so-n-so put his nasty hands on my behind, the lesser of the two evil, whose behind was bigger than mine’s, walked away, acting like he didn’t see what happened because of what his boy did. After awhile, I realize that those two were not only jackasses, but nasty freaks as well. Because of where the first creeps hands was on my behind and the reason why he did what he did because they were trying to antagonize me so that they feel justified with their choice lifestyle. I mean, is that what I am suppose to put up with because I’m black and they are black too?! Because what those two creeps did was so unnecessary. Why use me as a pun for their sick little joke is beyond me. Because I did not even know those ignorant jackasses.
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To borrow, or rather shamelessly steal what socialbeing said.
I prefer Black Women! I feel no hesitation saying that, on the internet
or in real life. I don’t feel embarassed or awkward at all about feeling
that way and niether should you.
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I absolutely love white men and I know my husband will be white. You have your own choice, you should always try new things… you live only once. <3
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I only like white men. I believe its a preference…:)
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I always knew that white man is a preference for me.Even as a kid growing up.I married into a white family,it did not work,but I will never give up on love and the type of white man I want to spend my life with.
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Interesting subject. I wonder if black men white woman couples share the same perspective? Or are black women white male couples an entirely different phenom?
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I only date white man and preferable older coz they matured. People think that we only date white old guys for their money, well I have a profession and most of the time I earn more than my partner.
Its a choice.
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I love white women simply because of the culture i like classic rock most of my albums are the beatles the rolling stones led zepplin the eagles and elvis and michael jackson and so much more i like science fiction and old movies and baseball cards and video games you wont see me interested into tyler perry or anyting similar and i basically was raised in a middle class white town that considering a town of like 20 000 that was like 90 pct white was relatively friendly espically my neighborhood which was white and some lebanese. I grew up with a mom and a dad my high school there were 2 black girls and both went to junior prom with white men and i also am more of a white liberal i dont go to church im pro choice and if i was raised in the 60s i would not have served in the vietnam war i never spend more than 50 bucks for a pair of shoes and i belive in investing money not just gambling and spending it i never been to prison or even got a parking ticket and i have higher than a high school education i would rather raise my kids towards responsibility and education rather than discipline and control but i would never have a problem with a black woman with a non black i dont really care but i think in europe interracial couples are more common than in us espically england 50 pct of British born married black males have white wifes and 24 pct of british born married black females have white husbands i really love those free spirited republican bashing music loving hippie blondes .My message to black american women if you really want a white guy my advice get one from Europe.
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As a woman of mixed heritage i can say men of my race spanish, east indian , black never attracted me . Ive always craved the touch of a white guy. Although ive dated white and black men,i married a black man and it ended badly as i was never emotional fulfilled or sexual satisfied. I am now in a relationship with a white person and its the happiest i have ever been. The passion , emotional fulfilment and eroticism is beyond anything i could have imagined . So yes for me i will never date a man unless he is white, i tried what society expected me to do ie. Date and marry a man of color against what i always felt was not for me and if i had to do it over again i would date exclusively white.
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When I was a child I always liked white men, whether in reality or on television, much to my mother’s dismay. It was not a choice I consciously made, and for a girl that grew up in a poor neighborhood, lets say I didn’t get to date much.
As I got older my preference did not change. I have dated black men and spanish men but my preference for white men remains.
Once I began to realize that what I like is just… what I like, I did not mind the jeers from my family and friends so much.
Now I’m wishing on a star that my Prince Charming finds me
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