Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan 08

black women dating whiteWe always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

1681 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   val_01 says:
    Posted: 10 Jun

    I just hope I find someone my biological clock is ticking by ....?

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    • Kitten49 says:
      Posted: 23 Jun

      You will once you stop looking

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      • Kimblelene says:
        Posted: 13 Jul

        I understand and share the same view. My biological clock is ticking too and my white prince charm isn't here as yet lol

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  2.   val_01 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun

    I just love white men period, black men dislike the thought of that black women are betraying them what nonsense, so black men can date any culture and black women must stick with them to be disrespected.

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  3.   val_01 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun

    I remember saying this in my teens I know what my choice is by not having good roles models as men in my life ,now 45 and still searching or my soul mate I may socialise with black I just know my boundaries there is no connection , they will always treat others cultures better than their own which suppose is a good thing , I just hope I find my man on this site it's worth a try.

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  4.   Achydp says:
    Posted: 02 Jun

    Hoping to find my white Prince soon...I wanna be like u...

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  5. Posted: 02 Jun

    I think we tend to gravitate towards those we feel we have more in common with and society tends to make the assumption that by being of the same color we will have more in common. The reality is our inside person based on experiences and personalities play a large part in making us who we are. My experience has shown that an interracial couple with similar education are likely to have more in common in terms of likes, dislikes and ways of thinking then a couple of the same race with entirely different levels of education and occupations. Point is the more we experience the same the more we realize we are more similar regardless of skin color.

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  6.   Lydia63 says:
    Posted: 26 May

    Preference

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  7.   pearlygate says:
    Posted: 21 May

    I've always loved&wanted to marry a WM but from my past relationship with one,hmmm..all men are the same... be they WorB

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  8.   Diamond_49 says:
    Posted: 15 May

    Why are all my comments being deleted and why can I no longer comment on the interracial dating page or unable to like comments and reply to them.

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  9.   Diamond_49 says:
    Posted: 15 May

    I definitely agree that it is about the physical attraction, I see black guys even stunning one's but it does nothing for me, but if I come across a white guy now that's a much better reaction from me, I also think that when white guy's see me that they think I am after a black guy, could be the reason why I am never approached by white guy's. .looks are most definitely deceiving.

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 31 May

      Perhaps a white man assumes a beautiful woman like you, who happens to be black, won't be interested in them. Society sadly paints many stereotypes and some white men may feel they don't measure up to the physical attributes society often attributes to black men. Like with all stereotypes we are individuals, not our stereotypes. I hope you find a man who will , appreciate and treat you as gorgeous ad the woman I see in your pics.

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      • Diamond_49 says:
        Posted: 01 Jun

        I actually agree with you, but to me all men have the same physical attributes..but I actually go for a man who knows how to treat his woman and who knows how to make his woman feels like she is the best thing that has ever happened to him, to me a white man definitely delivers on that. Black men are too jealous and to darn controlling. Wish me luck.

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        • Lonely-Lefty says:
          Posted: 02 Jun

          Hi Diamond_49. I wish you will find a man to recognize and treat you as special as you are and make you feel as lovely as you are. You will find him!

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  10.   Iracelma says:
    Posted: 25 Mar

    My preference is a WM.I rarely date a black man but I like a WM some I date they can truly trust, honest,caring they know how to treat a woman. my soulmate dream is to have a WM.

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  11.   MzMecka1969 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb

    My preference is WM! I just love the way the way they treat me! I have dated WM since High School and we have so much in common being that I live on Long Island! And sexually...may the fun begin!!Lol!

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  12. Posted: 03 Feb

    BW date WM because we can. I have a preference for WM and I find them to be more family oriented and very sexy

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  13.   Brunsugah says:
    Posted: 02 Feb

    It's just preference, just like some men only date blonde blue eye women or petite ladies. I'm open to dating most men but have dated mainly white men.

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 31 May

      Sometimes love grabs hold of you and draws you to a person who may not be what you are most attracted to. I grew up segregated so was attracted to white women, mostly redheads and blondes but ended up marrying a brunette.

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  14.   Bayjaytay says:
    Posted: 29 Jan

    As soon as I realized boys were cool, I was only looking at white boys. I have never been attracted to black men. Ever. Don't know why. I think I was just wired that way. I'm happy with it. I don't think there's always a reason. You just like what you like.

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  15.   heistheway says:
    Posted: 24 Dec 15

    That is so true

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  16.   Ceiera says:
    Posted: 26 Nov 15

    I 've always been attracted to white men. They are caring and sweet and very open minded

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  17.   lupira says:
    Posted: 21 Nov 15

    Wow,I got a courage now to doy move, thanks watch the space,wish u guys long life together, I have been having this from younger age that I will marry a white guy the way I wanted this when someone says they are "white" I said no they are lighter in complexion plz don't call them "white", I am so defensive towards them even them they do have a thing for me,its just matter of time before I met my honest, charming, caring,matured, loving life time partner,wish me luck

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  18. Posted: 14 Nov 15

    I always say, "there is a rotten apple in every bunch." However, when it comes to preference over whom you're attracted to, be honest with yourself. I have always had an affinity toward Latino, Polynesian, and White men. It does not mean I have not dated Black men, I have, from different parts of the US, and usually ran into a common denominator that did not match up with dating compatibility or a shared common value of life. Black women are looking for love, but love without all the hoops, games etc., we seem to run into with our experiences dating black men. I am a firm believer that this many women speaking out about the dysfunction they've experienced with dating black men cannot be just a coincidence. My experience dating men from other ethnicities have been the most positive experiences, mutual respect, genuine care, stability, maturity, etc. Be with the person that makes you a better person, love is color blind. "We are all one race, and that is the Human Race." Sharmaine

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  19.   Sweetzuu says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 15

    U

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  20.   Ta-bin says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 15

    funny I don't know what race am actually attracted to

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  21.   Boobei says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 15

    luv doesnt,ask y? luv is is like a religion, black or white it's nothing, wat matters is d heart

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  22.   QueenKB says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 15

    I truly believe that it is who you are attracted to. I have come across sorry men in all races and as for me myself, I absolutely love white men, but that does not exclude black men from my life. If I find you attractive I will flirt or if it's something that you say or do that catches my attention I will watch or listen and then go from there. It's not all about race I have an older black child, but my last three are half white, and I be had bad relationships with both so I think if you just keep looking and don't be so consumed with race that person is out there and everybody deserves a chance at happiness no matter what race the opposite sex is

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  23.   Cap63 says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 15

    Look it's about choice ok??? what is so difficult to accept about concept? I'm a black fellow and Ive rarely found/seen a black woman that Ive been attracted to and that could be for a variety of reasons. If black girls are not attracted to black guys what's the big deal? who's to say that one has to ' stick to ' ones own race? what pisses me off more are the divorced white women who'd been married to a white guy for years had multiple kids and now in their middle age they profess to only dating black men. Yet when they were young and attractive they didn't want to know, they chose to date marry and have kids with a white dude. The worst thing is seeing so many black guys willing and eager to pick up leftovers, you see them walking around on weekends with the white lady and her white teen aged kids and I bet they have their own kids that they don't have time for. That's a more pertinent issue in my book.

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  24.   d3c3mb3r says:
    Posted: 12 Oct 15

    At the end of the day, its about feelings not color! Do your thing and Swirl on! Life is too short to live for other people.

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  25.   Sugarcookii says:
    Posted: 12 Oct 15

    Personally i find men from all types of ethnic backgrounds attractive.

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  26.   MekaChu14 says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 15

    I kind of find myself in a bit of pickle. Because with me, I'm young African American female who's interested in mostly men in a different race then what I am. I was wondering if that's a bad thing? Because I'm around a lot of people who judge me and say I'm racist or things like that. But I'm not, I have black friends I care about. I want to know how I was programmed like that. But I did date a few white guys but they never want anything serious so I'm trying to figure out should I branch out or something. I'm just trying to figure if I'm the only person like this or if there's others out there. Because I kind of feel like an alien or something especially around friends. I always felt like it was just a preference thing and I didn't want to a date a guy if i know I'm not attracted to him. I guess reading article helps me a bit feel normal and I'm not so much alone in this. Because when I try to talk about it with friends it becomes a little heated. Except my parents they are usually open minded and say as long the guy treats you right. With my luck, I probably won't find that guy that fits my preference. My friends always say I'm too picky but I try to tell them I can't help it if I'm attracted to men of my own race. :/

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    • jaggers1 says:
      Posted: 04 Oct 15

      MekaChu don't let people tell who or what race to date. You may not agree with their choices but I bet you stand behind them because they are your friends and they should do the same. Who you date is a preference and what you like and them telling you otherwise is foolish on their part. You are young and will find what you are looking for in time. Don't rush it or you may end up with the wrong guy. You like who you like and as long as he treats you good it doesn't matter his skin color, it's the content of his character that matters. Good luck in your search

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 31 May

      MekaChu, don't pay attention to those calling you racist. You're exactly the opposite. Racist is berading you for dating outside your race. We can't break down the boundaries between different groups in society if some choose to build them around themselves. Hopefully society will respect your choices.

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  27.   Lwoods101 says:
    Posted: 29 Sep 15

    This articule was definitely written for me! I have never found myself attracted to black men. Glad to know that I'm not alone. I was always made to feel like I was wrong for feeling such a thing. But one likes what one likes.

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    • tallj says:
      Posted: 07 Oct 15

      I'm 100% with you

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 02 Jun

      It's interesting because you're right we all have preferences. As long as they aren't blinded by ignorance and refuse to see then that's their right. It's sad to think that the white men who are open minded and recognize that beauty like yours shows through any color plus yourself might be pressured by society to put on blinders. Interracial dating and attraction is progress and should be embraced by society.

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  28.   sandra525 says:
    Posted: 24 Sep 15

    It's all about what ur attracted to.u like what u like.

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  29.   Allofme42 says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 15

    This is a really prejudice ass site when it comes to black men look at what yall are posting sounds like a real racist put this shit together I mean what the hell this is another way of divide and conquer except their putting all black men in a trick bag.Please address black men in a better light then this we know how everyone still view us in the world let alone in this country damn I date interracial but I'm about the truth so if it's wrong or bias against black men which it is alot I'd it I'm going to say something about it I mean black women get out of you're feelings about everything and look at what their saying about all black men and if you still have a father or a brother their saying this about your brother, your father, your uncle are you serious? Damn still racism is alive and well right here on this site.

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    • Lwoods101 says:
      Posted: 29 Sep 15

      I don't think the article was put in that light at all. It merely addressed the fact that some black women just aren't attracted to black men. I had a wonderful father and handsome brothers whom I love dearly. This is speaking of a dating preference. Don't get caught in YOUR feelings by switching an entire article on it's head. It's attraction. It said nothing about black men being bad. However you did put it out there.

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      • Max_Sable says:
        Posted: 09 Oct 15

        I agree and actually I am glad we have a choice. Growing up light bright white was a prize. I am well traveled and older and now know one man's junk is definitely another man's treasure. I refused to let what society thought I should have influence what I desired especially when society and my own didn't appreciate the treasure I was created as.

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    • Lydia63 says:
      Posted: 26 May

      I had the best Black American daddy EVERYYYY who taught me to be happy and to follow my heart not people's opinions

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  30.   swtie22 says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 15

    its all about love joy n attraction with the desire between you two

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  31. Posted: 30 Jul 15

    Growing up I never discriminated but my first crush was Christian Slater and I moved on to Adam Sandler and David Schwimmer. I've dated black/white/international but my preference is white.

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  32.   tlhabi says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 15

    Black men lied from day one they first approach us. Whites if they really love you, they always open enough about being commited husband/father to his family. It will up to you that you accept him in that situation. Love is communication and calender.i once in that relationship and i was happy.he used to come to my work, we lost contact, i never called him.i am the one left my company.

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  33.   AngelRider says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 15

    I grew up in New York City , i am now over 50 . My first love was a black girl I say girl because we were both 15. We lost our virginity together and share many beautiful moments together that teenagers who become lovers do of all races. We still speak on the phone twice a month till this very day. She went on to marry a black man who does not know that I was ever a part of her life because she felt if he knew he would think it was wrong. I went on for a period of time dating women of all races but eventually decided that at some point I found black women who liked me came with less bagage and were more honest in a relationship about their feelings. They also were more attentive and loving. Maybe it was because of the admiration they had for me openly expressing my preferences with no regard for what anyone thought. I came very close to getting married a couple of times but their family members were unaccepting as opposed to mine who had no objection. So the old addage of if you can't bring them home works both ways. Eventually I gave up and married a white woman had a family but there was always the feeling like I had not followed my true compass of the heart. After 25 years I came out and told her how I still felt she was devastated and totally became this racist person that I never knew existed and I sadly ended my marriage. Now at my age I feel my life has come full circle and I once again have what was my true direction my heart always followed. I am still looking for that one special black women to spend the rest of my life with. In the meanwhile I have a great time dating black women who seem to only want a white man. I don't go looking for that but that's what seems to happen.I have met black women that have never dated their own race ever according to them and for the most part I believe them when they say things about black sterotypes that turn them off. I don't believe in sterotypes but it does exsist in our society. Finally love is truly color blind but true swirlers are people who have made a conscious decision to be with whom they wish and that's what freedom is all about....I remain a free man till the day I die regardless of what others think me. Thanks for listening AngelRider

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    • Sam_Bam says:
      Posted: 26 Aug 15

      It amazes me how many pass up good people and great love due to non-accepting family members. I dated a white guy in high school who adored me, but his mom was totally against it so it never went any further. It's a blessing that my family and friends aren't that close-minded, but if they were it would not matter. Anyone who is against my happiness isn't worthy of their opinion even mattering.

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    • tallj says:
      Posted: 07 Oct 15

      Sound's like u have great memories of her to bad you guys couldn't work it out

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    • Lea31 says:
      Posted: 08 Nov 15

      Great comment.

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  34.   Elmiria9 says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 15

    I'm South African and called coloured race, I'm just gonna be honest to me it's about the person and their heart. But I must admit I recently experienced the kindness and gentleness of a prescious white guy I met. Things didn't work out, but in a friendly manner. I realized it's something I haven't experienced with coloured men, he brought out the most beautiful and happy girl I've ever been. Some men bring out the crazy Amazon in us Ladies.., I want the right treatment of tender love and mutual respect and trust. It's a Beautiful life I want.... Peace Love Joy. I'm here looking for my White Prince Charming.

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  35. Posted: 02 May 15

    I think you should date whom ever your true heart desires. it should never be about black or white or any other race, BUT!! What I don't understand is why is there so many black woman claiming to be mixed? when your clearly not.

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    • blackbelle01 says:
      Posted: 01 Aug 15

      Because most Black people in America are mixed with other races.

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    • HauteShot says:
      Posted: 31 Aug 15

      Black men consider mixed women more attractive. No kinky hair and lighter skin. It stems from the racist views towards the African woman's asthetic and it's primarily black American men who continue to ascribe to it. Look at athletes, celebrities and the regular Joe alike.

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  36.   simple0243 says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 15

    I knew the black women date white men . But not to this level. This open my eyes a lot. Time have change a lot from the past. Now I see mixture of different people dating. I my self wants to date a white woman and asain woman. I feel in my spirit that they have a nice spirit. Then to take care their men. We I wants to see for my self. This is the first time I ever post my feeling on and open site. Just trying something new.

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  37.   simple0243 says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 15

    I Simply Adore White Men Who Love Their Black Queen! Been Swirling for over 20+years and loving every previous moment of dating a White man. My feelings! To each his Own Enjoy yourself life is meant to be Loved and Respected by the One You Love No matter if their Black or White!! Laugh! Love! Live Life to the fullest ! # just saying my point!

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  38.   loyal4lfye says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 15

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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    • blackbelle01 says:
      Posted: 08 Sep 15

      Why do BM come here and post on things that don't concern you. If the average BM could care less then why are you here posting on a topic that does not concern you. The BW here could care less what you think. You sound so bitter and full of it. I love WM and they are my preference so get over it

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    • SixballQ45 says:
      Posted: 21 Sep 15

      I would have to agree with blackbelle01 on this one, friend. You have a good message but that seems to get lost in what comes across as a mass of negativity. I further disagree with "that most black women try to act civilized all of a sudden when in the presence of a white person!" ~ Ive found that Women treat what they consider "high-value" or " husband-material" men - Of ANY ethnicity - well to be more alluring. I, personally have dated and even married a variety of ethnic women - from Asian, Native American, Black and Hispanic. If you're having a problem finding and keeping a good woman, may i recommend starting within yourself. Stay strong and good luck my friend

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  39.   loyal4lfye says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 15

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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    • wjd26 says:
      Posted: 02 May 15

      You sound a bit hurt

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    • Dotouch73 says:
      Posted: 27 Jul 15

      I think the turn off for black men to black women is the same...black men don't like the masculinity and black women don't like having to be masculine because black men can't be the men that black women needed them to be. That being said, when black women find someone willing/desiring to love them she is experiencing something new which brings out the side of her that you deem "civilized". So cut the bullcrap mister. Black men have taking black women for granted for way too long. So don't act like that ship sails only one way.

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    • Sam_Bam says:
      Posted: 26 Aug 15

      Wow, um ok. What do you mean by "masculine ways"? Maybe her earlier struggles in life caused her to have to be that way. Maybe she was raised by a single father and thus reflects that in which she observed daily. In my case (although I would not describe myself as masculine), my father always said that he did not want me thinking I "needed" a man, so he taught me how to survive on my own and so I can and do; however, when a man who comes along and ACTS like a man I gladly put my "masculine" ways up, you know, like in my back pocket for safe keeping, just in case he decides to get on his high horse someday and ride away ;-)

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  40.   valspikie says:
    Posted: 12 Dec 14

    I just want to date a descent white guy.

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  41.   Tawusi says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 14

    white men are ever open, trustful,lovely & they treat ladies like babies. but black men don't respect ladies.

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    • wjd26 says:
      Posted: 02 May 15

      Well I have dated both black and white men, good as well as bad men come in all colors. Also I want a man to treat me like a woman not a baby

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  42.   ALASSIO says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 14

    I am from the UK. I have only ever been interested in dating white men due to the fact I don't see black men in museums, art galleries or even reading a book in a library. I also like like historical places of interest. Black men I come across just seem to like sport or their music, and have limited general knowledge, and just seem to think all you want to hear is sweet talk.

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    • West.tx.girl says:
      Posted: 30 Mar 15

      Your so right about that one my sista I have every send them i a museum either black man do not go in there at all

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  43.   mr.chilvary says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 14

    As a black man and I am discouraged and appalled by the repititve comment "white men are so romantic" message! I have been romantic and chivalrous to black women many times and have been dumped because they say I'm too nice and it shows weakness and they want a brotha that is aggressive and tought! Black women are confusing

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  44.   Sweet0909 says:
    Posted: 30 Jun 14

    White guys are loving, caring and romantic. I've dated a white guy and had the time of my life. The only problem I experienced was his racist parents. I am a South African black woman and the history of our country dating a white guy is a challenge, because of all the negative feedback from our families our love could not handle such comments, so we broke up. SAD, but I refuse to give up ,I am looking for a white guy to sweep me off my feet....

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    • BeeboYo says:
      Posted: 18 Aug 15

      Sweet0909, You keep doing what works for you. If you are with a mature/independent man, he will not mind what his parents think. A healthy man thinks for himself. My parents will never dictate what i want or they will stop taking part in my life, they know better boo! My parents eventually got it. You will find the right guy who doesn't need his parents' approval. These men are out there! You are strong keeping the right attitude! Peace

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      • penelope77 says:
        Posted: 21 Dec 15

        Thanks for saying this .We all need a supernatural power from God to connect us to the right white brother or black sister. One day i have a dream this world will be filled with mixed race generation.. lolz

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  45.   MsTizzy says:
    Posted: 22 Jun 14

    I date white men because they tend to have more in common with me than black men. They tend to be more romantic. Growing up through college, I attended schools that were 50-60% white. This is my opinion based on the white men I have dated. I date black men also. I just find that I have a rapport with white men.

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  46.   Lisa3232 says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 14

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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    • amayi says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 14

      My great great great great great great grandfather who married my ggggggrandmother and it was out of love. Yes they were black and white. Speak for your self. As a godly black woman I embraced my heritage. I love being black and attracted to men with a preference for white men. I love my hair, skin and my mixed family. Now let's say don't be stupid. We don't always know a person heart. Happiness is a choice!

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  47.   DebzR says:
    Posted: 07 Jun 14

    For me, its not just a white guy, its *the* guy. I've always dated (and married) white because they are in the cross section of American culture I am in. I've worked in technology since the 80s, been actively involved in theater and popular/rock music all my life--the people that tend to be involved in those things tend to be white. I've met/dated white guys who are much more into the urban scene; those relationships didn't go well. Conversely I dated a fellow black rock musician; but we didn't have much more in common than the music. So. Its cultural. My culture that I choose. And my guy--that I'll choose

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  48.   MrRight4u2 says:
    Posted: 30 May 14

    simple answer......"media"

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  49. Posted: 11 May 14

    When I was in my 20s I dated black men only. Unfortunately it was not a good experience sometimes, but I kept dating back men. Then when I moved to the NYC everything changed. I met a white guy after work one day. He took me to dinner and we went to his loft and I was hooked, he treated me very good. At that moment I decided to start interracial. While dating white men I always had fun; they treated me with respect, affectionate, and kind. Dont get me wrong, I still dated the brothers but it was not the same. Im 50 years old now and I had life lessons and truths. I made the decision to date white men only. My advice, dont let anyone keep you from being happy. If you want to date interracial then do it its your decision.

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  50.   dreami says:
    Posted: 08 May 14

    i say the same as you thaadorable1 i love black woman

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