Is the White man the Black woman’s ideal man?

Posted by James, 09 Sep 10

black womans ideal man

“Black women will never be happy with Black men. Black women would find fault or a reason to complain and whine because she has been convinced that no matter what the Black man does, good or bad, he will never measure up to her real idol, the White man. The White man did a wonderful job confusing black women about what ‘a man’ is.” – Lifted from some forum

This is what some Black man thinks of Black women. The war of words never seems to end…

Every woman deserves happiness … every woman deserves to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship. I do not agree with the above generalization that “Black women will never be happy with Black men” because I know quite a number of people who have made their marriages work.

Anyhow, the thing is, any woman in a relationship with a man who doesn’t treat her way she deserves to, is well within her rights to complain. So, when a Black woman does it, she is automatically branded bitter? When a Black woman is single, she’s brought it on herself because she whines and complains too much? I mean, how do you give a woman sh**, then fault her for talking sh**?

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

This dude above says that Black women are convinced that Black men will never measure up to White men? I do not believe for one second that Black women actually go out of their way to find fault in Black men. In fact, most of them go out of their way in search of a Black man who is committed, loving, responsible, a man who respects her and has his sh** together. And if a successful, caring and loving Black man was pitted against an equally successful, caring and loving White man, quite a number of them would pick the Black man. So this thing about the White man being the Black woman’s real idol, I am having trouble believing…

There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a decent and honorable man in her arms. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man that makes her proud to be his woman. All the Black woman (and any woman for that matter) wants is a man she can totally rely on - emotionally, physically, financially...

No one has confused the Black woman about what a man should be. I believe if any woman finds the above mentioned qualities in a man, she will dive right in regardless of race. Race doesn’t make a man. So, if this man with these adorable qualities happens to be White, does this mean White men are the Black woman’s definition of an ideal man?

288 responses to "Is the White man the Black woman’s ideal man?"

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  1.   Blesee says:
    Posted: 4 days ago

    It not a matter of race period .Is finding a good man.Our culture and traditions in SA depicts men and woman in a patriachal community.Woman act a certain way and a man help on upper pedestole without respect you ,caring or committing it .Black were taught to be stronger never to show vunlrebility side or to be emotional fragile.Now woman know their right are strong and they can have their voices heard.Yeb my ideal man is a white guy indeed.

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  2.   sponte50 says:
    Posted: 20 Feb

    I don't think so for all black women , love is about caring respect empathy for each other if it shall be good and loyalty , and so its also nice black women is so beautiful it make it so wonderful, but the inside is the most imported I think :)

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  3. Posted: 13 Feb

    A GOOD MAN IS THE BLACK WOMEN'S IDEAL MAN AND IF HE HAPPENS TO BE WHITE SO BE IT.

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  4.   Gypsy22015 says:
    Posted: 16 Jan

    The answer to this question is NO.The White man is Not the Black woman's ideal man. NO. They are a beautiful looking couple. But ethnicity does not determine whether these people either one are ideal for one another. Your feelings will determine that for one another only. A Very beautiful couple pictured though. Best wishes.....

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  5.   dumelezi says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 15

    Both races were doing the same ,if they like to treat woman's good, they did but if they like to treat them bad they did .I noticed that ,sometimes man's were full of jealousy and selfish. Out of all this,Ican say half of them (w/B)were very good.

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  6.   Blossomn says:
    Posted: 14 Nov 15

    There is good and bad in every race however problems with black race are immense because of history and other socio economic factors. There are also problems especially for here for example in the uk for the white working class which also goes down with history. Dating interracially and so even among social classes in my opinion is a lot more healthier and better for future generations. If dating from same race for black then it will require therapy which we do not often do choosing religious leaders who might also not know how or qualified to resolve relationship conflicts. Relationship do require a lot of work especially communication irregardless of race and it's a few black men who choose to work on relationship because of ego and cultural norms.

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  7.   Blossomn says:
    Posted: 14 Nov 15

    There is good and bad in every race however problems with black race are immense because of history and other socio economic factors. There are also problems especially for here for example in the uk for the white working class which also goes down with history. Dating interracially and so even among social classes in my opinion is a lot more healthier and better for future generations. If dating from same race for black then it will require therapy which we do not often do choosing religious leaders who might also not know to resolve relationship conflicts. In summary it's

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  8.   simple0243 says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 15

    To say "I love you with a love without end... I love you, a pure love ... I love you with a passionate love... I love you explicitly, a love of infinite possibilities..." - it all seems redundant ... but the truth is that there is insufficient redundancy to express my feelings for you

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  9.   Billyboy50 says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 15

    No black people in general have been so brainwashed by the white man that they believe anything white is right.Black men have low selfesteem they have been torn down for years by white society the black woman believes the black man is useless. White men are more employable less stressful , it is hard work being a Blackman , every race is against you, take the easy way out sisters go white, soon black people will be extinct.

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  10.   TinySprite says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 15

    There is no such thing as an "ideal" man; there is such a thing as working at one's relationship and being committed to making it successful. Interracial relationships, by their very nature and because of American societal norms, require more work than most. That is perhaps why, when one does make the decision to enter such a relationship, one goes in with the acknowledgement that, come what may, you stand side by side with love, trust and respect as the glue that will keep you together. I have never met an interracial couple who did not have that mindset going in, and who were successful in their relationship.

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  11.   MissTexas01 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 14

    I have known and dated plenty of good black men. I did not marry them because I was young and simple. I have a problem when someone regardless of the race talk bad about the opposite sex of their race and use it as an excuse as to their preferences. I truly believe white Asian and Latino women are beautiful. Just as I believe black, white, asian, and Latin men are beautiful. Beyond appearances I can't say if any man is better or worse than the next. I don't think I have been brainwashed. To the contrary, by living in the south and being around bigots should have had the opposite effect. Black men date interracially all day every day and it is ok but as soon as one of their heart throbs marries a white man then it must be because she was brain washed. Lmbo that is ridiculous. Then again the guy that made the comment could feel as if black women should stay within their race. That is also ridiculous. We are all the same. So why should anyone stick to something man made like race and ethnicities. If you go to some of these Latin countries you will find all shades from lily white to jet black and they do not differentiate. They just say WE are Dominican or WE are Panamanian. America is real big on labeling a person white, black, black non hispanic, white non hispanic, asian, other etc... check one. I wonder what this guy's opinion would be if we were all just labeled as American. What would he say then.

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  12. Posted: 27 May 14

    My personal opinion is that if you put certain people on a pedestal, you miss out on other things and different races. Although I am attracted mostly to white men I talk to all, black, hispanic etc. My ideal man is just someone who I can talk to, laugh with, and do fun things with who respects me and is patient and considerate.

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  13. Posted: 20 May 14

    The question should be , whether a person is black ,white Chinese whatever nationality isn't it the mans or women s choice who they want to be with ...My wife was African american and shes who I wanted to be with and just because it didn't work out its still my choice ..Theirs good and bad in every race....But I noticed being married to an African american I noticed the racism towards us because i was white I have had black men in a group bad mouthing me and my wife with racist and stupid comments People love to tear down others relationships because they are more racist than the people they accuse without reason just because one is with the opposite color.. Im not going to a black man or any other person to get approval for who I want to be with ...I respect all cultures and have never been a racist ..I would protect any person against racism ..I don't look at Black with a white women in any negative way...We are living in a stereo typical ,point fingers at others world because people have a problem with color ...These people complaining are the ones that will stay miserable and will never find or meet a good person because the true colors come out...To all the interracial couples blessings just keep loving one another and be respectful and never be influenced by people that lack integrity and wisdom and want to control others...

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  14. Posted: 18 Feb 14

    The statement "there are no Black men" is unfair and untrue and I wouldn't date ANY woman who truly thinks that. . As a substitute teacher, I've had thousands of students by now through the decade I've been doing this and I can attest that there are good Black males out there besides the celebrities and historical figures e.g. Dr. Ben Carson. MLK jr. One of the troublesome students I have ever had was a White student.

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    • brianna920 says:
      Posted: 09 Mar 14

      I completely agree. The are some great black males out there, but most a lot of black males verbally abuse black females so for black females it is hard too see who is really good or bad. I think there is good and bad in every race.

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  15. Posted: 29 Dec 12

    Okay, I hope no one gets offended, but as a black woman who has dated black men pretty much all my life; The Black men on here saying that black women are not as tough on white men. You have got to be kidding me. As much as I hate it, black women are just now starting to date outside our race. Just Now. We have been soo devoted to black men, that we couldn't and wouldn't give love a try outside of our own race until recently. To say things like this just isn't true. I pray that the day comes when topics like this won't exist. Love is love. Its just that simple.

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    • blackbelle01 says:
      Posted: 08 Sep 15

      Actually I think that some BW are tougher on WM than they are BM that is probably why they are more selective when choosing a WM and the reason why the relationships last longer.

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      • Luv1973 says:
        Posted: 30 Jul

        I agree with you. Although I know few black women who have married white men, they are a bit harder on white men than black men. They dont think they have a prize because they are involved with white men either. To them they are just men and they want to be treated with love and respect and from what i see they are. They would require the same treatment from any color men.

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  16.   Secret75 says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 12

    I don't think so. I think that with growth in societies acceptance and appreciation for diversity, we are seeing more people open to the idea of finding a partner outside of their culture. When I say this, I not just speaking in terms of ethnicity but also religiously, class, social upbringing, education. It's great to see such an open to change. Don't get me wrong --- some things haven't change and Im not blind to racism and discrimination that exist as well.

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  17.   ahotmess says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 12

    nop,i think this title is incorrect and misleading...its not that the white man is ideal,its just that they come close to what a lady would want her man to do...my two cents

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  18.   devnull says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 12

    Maybe this a cancer in USA that just seems to get worse because in Europe and Africa that is not the case to some extent. I personally think these types of nonsensical articles are dare I say good marketing strategies to lure SOME deluded and insecure black women into thinking I must date outside my race. Date who you want but do it because it comes naturally not jumping on the band wagon. Personally in my brief stint in the USA there are MANY good black men actually many good men of many races I just think some women are just not insure what they want or are still carrying the scars of past relationships which any fool should soon realize that if one is still scarred it is only a matter of time your interracial relationship will possibly end in tears. A few months a go I was in Africa on business assignment and one the African entrepreneurs said the divorce rate in Western world is shocking and most of the population is white. Relationships will work out or go sour irrespective of same race union or mixed.

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  19.   djrell says:
    Posted: 03 Jul 12

    in my opinion about it's a stigma of a stereotype via slavery ideaolgy of that of which the black man was trained into being s "stud" for the whiteman into making more slaves and then sold to another plantation and thus the same process is utilized to which also there is too much of the commercialization of what a black is for in which all races outside of ours have a total conclusion of what and how blackmen of what they should be.

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  20.   ashly87 says:
    Posted: 17 Jun 12

    I don't care about race. But white men seem to give me butterflies in my stomach...they're so hot to me. I just want to be happy and in love with the perfect guy designed for me.

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  21.   Q18 says:
    Posted: 22 May 12

    When I look at some of these post I say to myself Black people we got a long way to go. Why do we dislike ourselves so much. We are the main targets of interracial dating. Dr. Francis Cress Welsing was right , white supremacy is alive and working well. I'm far from one to place blame on any one. However, psychologically we have been worked on. Throughout history we have accepted anyone that accept us. With out looking at the big picture of building together. While I do not care to debate or argue about someone else personal choice. I will state my perspective. It is my responsibility as a black man to love my people and respect their free will. However, it is also my responsibility to help them understand the power of unity. many talk about gaining an education in the European since, however, no one seem to be educated on who they are. I myself will soon have a degree in this system. However, I refuse to let it define my total sense of understanding. Real education is educating self about ones self. Without my people understanding our great history as a race, unity will be a merely a dream. With out my people understanding the many factors that lead to our modern day problems, unity will be merely a dream. Brothers will continue to blame sisters and sister will continue to blame brothers. The victory will go to those who want to see our demise. Peace and Love!

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  22.   Louise50 says:
    Posted: 02 Mar 12

    I really can't say I have never dated white man, I have went on a couple and they are men just like any other race they say one thing and do another, but I am not judgeing nor am I giving up on the right one. I say to them all am not a booty call.

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  23. Posted: 22 Dec 11

    In this age denilson20000 men and women in all cultures are still immature. Sounds like you have come across some childish little girls calling themselves women. Don't let it confuse you that all blk WOMEN feel or act that way. I'm sorry for what happened to you. Its a real shame! Please don't condemn all blk women because of the ones who talked about you. Pray for them that they will learn better. You are wrong about the way blk women feel. I know as an onlooker it seems that way to you. But I know you realize that women dont think like men and vice versa. I have seen the same type of women you were talking about and they talk about everyone! Even blk women, white women, blk men or anyone who doesnt look the part for them. It comes down to a preference in life. Sure they are wrong about what they do but its their right to express it. The Constitution of the United States gives them freedom of speech.Let it touch you and roll off your shoulders. You choose who you turn out to be, not what someone says you are. I wish you luck with finding your inner strength.Please start with the LORD. Merry Christmas!

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  24. Posted: 22 Dec 11

    Wow, I can not believe that post. I wish the insecure blk men would spend more time working on things that make him feel unworthy to himself, than trying to blame blk women for dating in other cultures! Again, blk women get sold short about our intelligence. If we know that some blk men are not any good then why would they think we would be so easily fooled by white men!...LMAO!! I am so tried of all this racist CRAP from both sides! Get a grip people! Are we going to be ignorant to the end of the world? Ignorance is a deadly weapon! Dating who makes us happy does not make us brain washed! Blk men who feel like the one in the post, work on yourself to make yourself more of what any woman would want. God did not say blk had to be with blk...or white with white..or any same culture together! Blk women are not your property! We got our free papers even from you! Merry Christmas everyone.

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  25.   ONEGUY814 says:
    Posted: 20 Dec 11

    Listen, the Black community has been its own worse enemy when it comes to NOT tolerating diversity among themselves.I know that this is true, because they could not tolerate ME. I got tired of sitting in my dorm on Saturday night(s) waiting for one of 600 black men out of 16,000 men to ask me for a date. The world is too big for that! And hang-ups about being a nerd-girl, thick glasses, you're too plump, the girls down the Hall might- not think- I'm- cool; I thought: this is tiresome. I went out with a white guy instead. WHAT WAS I TRYING TO PROVE? said the black women on the hall? I'm not apologizing any more. BECAUSE I PREFER THEM WHITE, I'VE MORE IN COMMON. Being distinct among Blacks has something to do with it, a difference in outlook on life, religion, etc., maybe. People who I choose as friends, yes, a definite factor. I don't think I chose my husband(s) entirely on race. Many whites aren't very open people when it comes to diversity, among themselves. That's why I specified I prefer a family that no stranger to mixed marriage, mixed religion(s), ethnicity, because I don't like SIMPLE questions, and open mouths-among ANY group of people.

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  26.   saggc56 says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 11

    it's getting down to who makes who happy, but I like what I read. And I totally agree, we want to be treated the way you want us to treat you well without the drama. Made for a man color has little to do with it.

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  27.   shyone78 says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 11

    Wow those statistics are sobering to say the least ante59. I know that the white men/ black women relationship I have seen have been pretty successful. For instance my mother has been dating a white man for 4 years. Her first husband (my father) was black (died recently). But I have to say they are fantastic together. There are no power plays or struggles. They both work, enjoy going out, and they take care of each other. They buy each other things and don't expect that it's mandatory. He's not intimidated by her working. They have a lot of common interests and they genuinely like each other. When it comes down to it they have a lot of the same interests ideas about religion, and they love to travel. And if that happens to be a man of another race why limit yourself. My mom is open to dating any man as long as he's good to her and genuinely likes her and wants to get to know her. She raised me and my brother the same way. Before I got married I dated all kinds of men, and white men were pretty laid back. I didn't feel like I was the trophy girl like I had felt with some of the other races I've dated. I'm not putting down anyone, just that that was my experience.

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  28.   ante59 says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 11

    I'll put these divorce rate statistics from US -Asian husband/Asian wife = 45 -White husband/African american wife = 56 -White Latino husband/White Latino wife = 65 -White husband/White Latino wife = 95 -White husband/White wife = 100 -White husband/Asian wife = 104 -African american husband/African american wife = 108 -White Latino husband/White wife = 114 -Asian husband/White wife = 160 -African american husband/White wife = 208 So we trust these figures the ideal partners are these... for Asian woman : Asian man for White Latino woman : White Latino man for White woman : White man for African american woman : White man for Asian man : Asian woman for White Latino man : White Latino woman for White man: African american woman for African american man: African american woman Worst possible choice... for Asian man: White woman for Latino man: White woman for White man: Asian woman (slightly, second worst is white woman) for African american man: White woman So who are you going to believe: me or your own eyes? Source: A 2008 study by Jenifer L. Bratter and Rosalind B. King conducted on behalf of the Education Resources Information Center examined whether crossing racial boundaries increased the risk of divorce.

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    • Reese says:
      Posted: 22 Dec 11

      They have statistics all the time, but that doesn't mean that people in the groups with lowest success rate doesn't work. It is more about the couple because they are such big numbers we are talking about. If they take in age it also decreases with older people. But over 51 of all people in up in divorce period so selecting one race won't guarantee you have success. And it doesn't include alot of other races in ir like native americans, middle easterns. What about black/asian or black latino, latino/asian?

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  29.   ante59 says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 11

    There's only one way to check if that claim was right: divorce statistics. " According to the adjusted models predicting divorce as of the 10th year of marriage, interracial marriages that are the most vulnerable involve White females and non-White males (with the exception of White females/Hispanic White males) relative to White/White couples. White wife/Black husband marriages are twice as likely to divorce by the 10th year of marriage compared to White/White couples, while White wife/Asian husband marriages are 59% more likely to end in divorce compared to White/White unions.[9] Conversely, White men/non-White women couples show either very little or no differences in divorce rates. Asian wife/White husband marriages show only 4% greater likelihood of divorce by the 10th year of marriage than White/White couples. In the case of Black wife/White husband marriages, divorce by the 10th year of marriage is 44% less likely than among White/White unions. Intermarriages that did not cross a racial barrier, which was the case for White/Hispanic White couples, showed statistically similar likelihoods of divorcing as White/White marriages." Source: A 2008 study by Jenifer L. Bratter and Rosalind B. King conducted on behalf of the Education Resources Information Center examined whether crossing racial boundaries increased the risk of divorce. Same kinda discoveries here and there have been found in Europe too. People in Scandinavia have mentioned several times how well white man/black woman marriages are working, better than those of whites are especially those bm/ww. So we can indeed assume that BLACK WOMAN IS WHITE MAN'S IDEAL WOMAN if low divorce rate is the measure. Of course there are several other ways to measure it. Perhaps there are certain elements making those relationship working better. E.g it keeps some risky groups out of it.

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  30.   ExoticBella says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 11

    I just want someone who isn't afraid of commitment, black or white. And one who isn't like the creepy 80 year old hitting on me (I'm in my twenties). That would be nice for a change, LOL

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  31.   Root58 says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 11

    I don't believe that white men are most black women's ideal men. As with most women, a black woman's ideal man is a man who is going to treat her right, help her raise her children, especially if the children is also the man's children, and respects her.

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  32.   peter1981 says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 11

    I believe you just can be more happy with someone. doesn't matter what the color of your skin. yes, i love dark skin girls but when you like somebody it's just happens. doesn't matter where you came from

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  33.   odel68 says:
    Posted: 22 Sep 11

    when i was a child i thought girls were icky. then one day they weren't. what changed? who knows. when did i start liking girls of other races? i don't know. one day i had a crush on a white girl, then a mexican girl,and then a black girl. i have always seen the color of someones skin in much the same way as the color of their hair. it has nothing to do with your character, who you choose to be as a person. i can't speak on why other people date outside their race. i am not them. i can only speak for me. and that goes for you to denilson20000. you can only speak for yourself, not the bw who date outside their race. having suffered at the hands of a few bw who were careless with hurtful words and other cruelties and finding women of other races who were accepting of you and wanted you i can see why you are not a fan of those bw but all bw? we see how the media takes a bm of a very negative nature and try and label all bm as the same. our society likes to be spoon fed so they will take that negative image and try to put all bm in the same category. i feel (and i could be wrong) that you have done the same with bw. are bw with wm because they have set lower standards for the wm? who knows. are you with women of other races because they have set lower standards for bm? i would hope not. as for a wm being the ideal man for a bw i think that is a nonsense question. i would like to think that a woman, no matter what race, chose me because she was attracted to who i am, not the color of my skin. thank you ,james

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  34. Posted: 09 Sep 11

    P:ersonally, I'm more attracted to white men than black men,but I feel safer with a black man. Black men are braver, bolder and more confident than some of the white guys I've dated. But, white men treat me better,they respect me, etc. But , the white man is not my ideal man . Neither is a black man. Jesus is my ideal man!

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    • 1hombrebueno says:
      Posted: 18 Feb 14

      A man like Jesus? You have a lot of patience, Sunflower ;-)

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    • cocorose88 says:
      Posted: 20 Apr 14

      If you think black men are bolder, stronger and braver, you have obviously never dated an Italian man. Italian guys are clearly the strongest men alive! Stronger mentally than most men because they genuinely adore chocolate women and they are not brainwashed by the prevalent media overload of white supremacist images depicting blonde hair and blue eyes as being the epitome of American beauty. Just because a man is boisterous and overly aggressive, it does not equate to him being valorous. A brave man is one that stands up as the line of defense for his household/ woman and children, not the dastard who abandons his own flesh and blood and attacks his woman because he secretly desires a more lecherous woman who will keep her legs open and her mouth shut! Strong men take responsibility and they make things happen...weak men are only good for making flimsy excuses and blaming everyone else for their ignorance and failures...So let me ask...who is strong and who is weak? Rhetorical...of course lol!

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  35. Posted: 09 Sep 11

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    • Carbony says:
      Posted: 20 Dec 11

      WOW I'm sure glad you got that off your chest. Hopefully releasing all that negativity will help you to be more positive about even the negative experiences in your life at the hands of all humanity not just black women.

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    • 1TrueRomance says:
      Posted: 13 Apr 12

      Hey, don't be so down on yourself - you're a tall, attractive guy, and judging by your pic I'd say you probably have a good heart. I understand everything that you're saying, but you're only talking about the "superficials" - the gold diggers and the lames. Let them have one another, and YOU focus on the type of woman YOU want (even if she's average or "aestetically challenged"). You never know where you might find true love. I've dated black men and white men alike, and I can honestly say that there's no difference if they're all from the same pool of incompatibility. Black men are beautiful, but so are all men across the spectrum. It's hard enough to find a genuine individual nowadays, so break down those barriers and see what might be in store for you. Change your perspective, be positive. Good luck!

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  36. Posted: 08 Sep 11

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  37.   ChocoGal says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 11

    Not really, in my opinion so long as there is mutual attraction and the man knows how to treat her it all works out. I happen to have for quite sometimes now be getting attention from while man which make is easier for me to make that choice and have been very pleased with my past relationships.

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  38.   trisha43 says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 11

    After reading majority of these comments i find it quite sad that some black people would think this way, i have dated many black men and most of them seem to have to much of a past or have far to many children with other women, so it makes the relationship difficult, i am not say that you cannot get that with other nationalities, but when it come to black men the majority are to untrufull and dishonest and some like to smoke weed and do not have no ambition and not going nowhere in there life, and me i have had enough of them, so yes i am going to try some thing different their is nothing wrong with dating a white man as they are handsome and good looking as black men, i am not saying that they are perfect but their lifestyle is as most have achieved what they have too already, so i am looking the other way now and getting some great responces from them, and i even think i have found the one but its early days yet, but i tryed with the black man and i have had enough of them personally and don't want them anymore.

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  39.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 11

    r3llim I'm glad you liked my list.I left one off my list, I was a Daredevil FOOL at one time. I picked it up one day when I was at home sick and it happened to be the one about Typhoid Mary. I went crazy over Daredevil after that,LOL Definitely make MINE MARVEL! I never got too into DC either with exception of Wonder Woman and Batman. Batman's favorite because he gets down and dirty. I liked Marvel's ability to give it's characters a human touch by giving them realistic limits, issues and personal doubts. Tony Stark ,alcoholic, Spiderman couldn't pay his rent and seem to never have enough money,lol, X-men seem to have trouble working together and not to mention all the individual issues they had. I LOVEEEE it. Marvel in my opinion was much edgier. Anyways, sorry to go off on a comic tangent but I can't help it ; you got me all started up,lol. At the end of the day all I want is a man who "gets" me. I don't care what race he is. I agree with you on much of what you said so you are on the right track. "I''ll keep holdin on,holding holding holding, hooooooolaa laaa la la I say, oooh yeah".... Simply Red..lol

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    • r3llim says:
      Posted: 30 Aug 11

      You're right about Marvel being more intriguing in terms of their characters. Since I was a kid Ive always loved Spiderman rarely for his powers but because he was a guy who wanted to quit his job of being a superhero. He would have moments where he would question his decisions on whether they were right. Something we've all done in life. X-men is great because it illustrates a lot the forms of discrimination people face. DC characters were too bland for me. There is nothing in the characters personality that makes me identify with heroes like Flash from Captain Atom or Captain Marvel. Spiderman is driven by self-guilt and the X-men desire an acceptance in the world. I cant figure out what makes the Flash put on a costume to become a superhero as opposed to just a very fast guy. I do like Batman especially his villains and all of his allies (especially Jason Todd and Tim Drake but I hate Damien Wayne). But I do like the graphic novels like Watchmen, Kick-Ass, and Wanted and I was a huge fan of Spawn and 100 Bullets. I do like some manga like Deathnote (too twisted and good for words), Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist and Hellsing. But anyway I didn't mean to suggest that all young black women were like that and I knew black men that passed pretty and nice girls because they weren't up to their physical standards. I hope you do meet someone special and appreciates you. There is no more god, no Satan, no more demons or monsters, or fallen angels to protect them from. He is Al Simmons ... the man who saved the world... but could not save himself... The End.

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      • bigeyes31 says:
        Posted: 29 Sep 11

        Thank you friend. I wish the same for you and just from your words on this board; I don't think you will have ANY problems. Peace

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  40. Posted: 02 Aug 11

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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    • bigeyes31 says:
      Posted: 03 Aug 11

      @Denilson Hey I feel what you are saying and yes some women DO change for whitemen and some change for men period. It's like putting out the good china when a guest comes over. It's simple conditioning . We are conditioned by the media in this country that the black man is a criminal, ugly,dark, a monster and should be shunned and feared. We were conditioned as childeren by our parents to be on our best behavior when company or guests came over to visit, right? Some women see the white man as special guest and they feel that they must be on their best behavior for him and MANY white men know this and expect it; but that is only SOME women and SOME white men, not me and not many others. You have to believe this and know this in your heart that just because black women are allowing white men and others to be a romantic choice doesn't mean she doesn't value black men or you as a black man. We still love you. You are our lovers, our husbands, brothers,our fathers,cousins,uncles,sons our friends and neighbors. Please know this in your heart. This is where FAITH has to come in on your part, believing something that you may think you don't see. Take care and have faith

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      • r3llim says:
        Posted: 10 Aug 11

        I'm sorry bigeyes but the sad truth is the rules or requirements a black women may have for finding a white man attractive are at times more laxed than with a black man. Denileson didn't say that black men can't be seen as desirable. Just that the qualities for it are more stricted for the black man as opposed to the while man. A black man has to not only a stand-up guy but prove without a shadow of doubt that he doesn't possess any of the negative stereotypes of a black male where as a white man doesn't have to try as hard because they are always seen as decent. Hell a goofy white guy with a comic book fetish is ideal for some black women because he's seen as safe from a black man who MIGHT hurt them. So I can't agree that a black woman who dates other races would still look at black man as the same because the rules of attraction for one isn't the same for the other. Same could be said for black men and their attraction to other races.

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        • bigeyes31 says:
          Posted: 11 Aug 11

          @r3llim "Hell a goofy white guy with a comic book fetish is ideal for some black women because hes seen as safe from a black man who MIGHT hurt them." I have loved comics since I was kid. Thor, Alpha Flight, Wonder Woman, Batman(have the T-shirt) Hulk., Iron Man, Spider Man,Marvel Universe, Green Lantern and X-Men, the latter being my favorite. I'm a TRUE comics fan and is looking for a guy with a goofy comic fetish because that's something we have in common but doesn't mean I think he is safe at all! I view all men as potential to cause hurt because that is what people do. You have no idea until you give people a chance whether they're going to hurt you or not. Now , I would have a problem with a black woman who pretended to like comics just to be accepted by a white guy but she wouldn't give a black man with the same goofy comic fetish the time of day. I can't speak for all black women; I shouldn't have tried in my first response to Denilson, but I like white guys or any guys PRECISELY for the goofy comic fetish because most black men were not interested in this sort of thing let alone a chick who was interested in this type of thing. I'm simply not attracted to "swagger"; I respect it for what it is and let it have it's place and I move on. The few times I ran into a black guy who liked comics or rock music or anything different from black culture he tried to hide it to fit in with what was cool and wanted the cheerleader, the popular girls, whatever it was back then lol. I found one thing out about white men, goofy or not they were always themselves,at least the ones I ran into. I have always wanted to find a black man who was into the same things I was into but couldn't. I don't know if you are black but even you implied something slightly derogatory in your description about a guy liking comics. It's about compatibility for me and I'm going wherever that is for ME. I'm sorry if there are people black or white who lower or raise their standards based on race that person probably isn't datable anyway and is very very shallow.

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          • r3llim says:
            Posted: 14 Aug 11

            @ bigeyes, You brought up a good point about white guys being themselves. But I think that's because sadly within black culture today it seems to be stuck on "high school" mood. By that I mean that anyone who has an opinion that shows some interests always from black issues or towards white culture is seen the outcast or nerd. This translates into being seen as white washed, weird or in extreme cases a sellout. So there isn't as much of a freedom for a black person especially a black guy to have his quarks. I remember a girl I had a crush on in my freshman year and though she was a senior and I was a freshman, I thought she was pretty. But many guys didn't like her as much as other girls because she wore gowns and mature clothes. I've seen black girls show no interest on a guy who was focused and educated but didn't posses enough "swag" or charisma for them. But many times the same chick who felt the black guy was too nice or odd would see these traits as normal for the white guy. And that's what I meant about the comment I made about the comic fetish. I don't know if you know who Donald Glover is (the guy from the show "Community") but I can guess that his future girlfriend would be white or nonblack. And its not because he doesn't choose black women but because many of them would think he's gay, goofy, too nice, or not masculine enough. Those traits deemed present in only white men by them and if they choose to date outside black men then they wouldnt reject those white guys. I don't know if that was what Denileson is referring to but to me I think the rules set for a black man to be seen as attractive or good are stricter than that of a white man. The same can be said about black women but I think its at a lesser extent. I don't think that black women are compared in being a quality person to Angela Bassett or whomever as black men are to Denzel Washington. I didnt mean to offend you with my previous comment but to say that even good black men arent seen as ideal a lot of times because it doesnt fit with us being seen as attractive to women at least when they are young. By the way I like your list except for 1). I never cared for DC comics and 2). I never liked really powerful superheroes like Thor or Superman. If Denileson is reading this my best advice is to simply push forward in whatever youre doing. One of my heroes is Neil Degrasse Tyson and I know that as a teenager he wasnt seen as being sexy. But hes now the top astrophysicist in the nation. Im just saying that a white man may be seen as a better catch by women than a black man but you, me, and others should strive to be better men regardless of whether black or any women like us or not. Your greatness isnt ever defined by them so why should their opinion?

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    • bigeyes31 says:
      Posted: 03 Aug 11

      Another thing Denilson you seem to be feeling the weight of the mindset of the U.S. You need to travel and you will SEE my brother how much you are loved, respected, admired and even sought after ! I don't know how much you have traveled but you have to be careful not allow yourself to think that the U.S is ALL there is and that the whole world thinks like this country. HONEY just go to CANADA you will see a difference in the attitude and mindset. That's my next destination. :_)

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    • onetreehill says:
      Posted: 21 Aug 11

      Denilson2000, there are good black men out there. But just a "few". The young (what do I call them?) thugs, have given black men a bad name. Women of class and culture do not want "thugs". I don't want all black men to go away, but if the thugs would disappear, I can't say that it would bother me. When I say thugs, I mean black, white, brown, yellow. Whom ever? I really believe that certain types of behaviors have given black people a negative wrap and we are all placed in that negative category as black people.

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      • bamboo58 says:
        Posted: 28 Aug 11

        According to study supported by the American Psychology Association, when it comes to relationships, women are more attracted to thugish like men commonly known as "bad boys." Nice, considerate, attentive, gentle, supportive and caring men are considered by women as to be weak and boring. Women like excitement in relationships which is to be always on the watch out when the next shoe is going to drop. Women love drama in their relationships. A nice man, who's trying to be considerate, respectful, emotionally supportive, kind and caring, will more like have short live relationship with a woman. Women mostly find these men to be boring, dull, and weak, which is big turn off to women. Women do not appreciate much men who try to make relationship easy for them. Most women who claim publically to prefer or are attracted to nice men are more likely to be lying. These women are only trying to be politically correct because that exactly what they know the public would want to hear from them. There is only a very small percentage of women, who appreciate nice, respectful, laid back, non-violent, gentle, and considerate. Those women happen to be older. These older women are no longer in the experimentation quest with men. These older women are wised up, mature, experienced, and settled. And this has nothing to do with class and culture, but rather has to do mostly with self-esteem, preference, and psychology.

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        • ChocoGal says:
          Posted: 04 Sep 11

          I guess there are women just as there are men who like those kinds of characteristics. Bad Boys have always been a turn off and I'll be curious to see the statistic the APA came up with. A respectful, loving, supportive... man who knows what he wants should not be wasting time on women with such desires not matching his... just sayin' Peace out Bro

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  41. Posted: 04 Jul 11

    the problem is at least for my generation ,black men tend to approach girls in a disrespectful manner which is a HUGE turn off. I find that most white guys in my area actually get to know the girl first before trying to date them. Where as most black men in cali get a girls number and want to know all about the girls sexual past with their favorite question being "are you a virgin?" its disgusting.

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    • Journee2 says:
      Posted: 23 Nov 11

      I have to agree with you 100%. Some Black males today have NO IDEA how to RESPECTFULLY/APPROPRIATELY approach a woman. I, personally, do not respond to street slang, sexual gestures/commontary, or this so called "hood mentality" yet it seems like that's all some Black males know how to do/say to express an interest in a woman. And of course you are then labeled as the "arrogant b!tch" because you don't find their antics pleasing. There are some White males who can be very abrasive, however this "trend" is more prevelant among Black males.

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  42.   Frickels says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 11

    I don't think the White man has done anything to screw up Black women's point of view regarding Black men. Not all Black men mistreat Black women. I think some Black men should try to understand the pain and hurt that many Black women have experience in their relationships with Black men. However, there are men in every race that mistreat women. I do think that Black men and women have had a lot societal stressors that has affected them on a whole. I can only speak from my own experiences, and I think it may be difficult for individuals to think this is not a race issue, but it is on some levels, as well as cultural. It is also difficult to erase some of the negative effects of racism, but we should all try. I was always told negative things about white men, and out of fear wouldn't date them. But, I was raised by White foster parents who were the best parents in the world. I have dated and loved the Black men who have come into my life, but because of where they were as a person, things didn't work out. I have met many Black men who wanted to be with me, but was not ready to settle down. I think it is healthy to date outside of your race, it can broaden your perspective...and you will also discover that people are people no matter the color of their skin.

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    • queenofspice says:
      Posted: 23 Nov 11

      Frickels: AAAhh , so Intellectually stated. Thank you for that assessment..

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  43. Posted: 20 Jun 11

    I don't any race has anything to do with what determines who is the black woman, white woman or any woman of any races' ideal partner Is the white woman the black man's ideal partner? When will people just be people and not put into categories of any kind.? I like men and just recently dated a Mexican man and found out just how loving sweet and kind they can be. I don't think your ideal is determined by the race...it is the things you have in common and physical chemistry between you.

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  44.   thick_qt09 says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 11

    Lol, aint nothin' wrong with likin' what you like. Heck, I like all types of 'chocolate'!

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  45.   thick_qt09 says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 11

    Hmmm let me ponder that question for a second...(jeopardy jingle n bkground)...uh Heck Naw! ANY man has the ability to be a woman's 'ideal man'--black, white, hispanic, haitian, native amer.--just like ANY man has the ability to be stupid; no good; unfaithful/a woman's biggest mistake. Color has nothing to do with how right a man will be for a woman--just like love can 'known no bounds', so can stupidity--it just is what it is...

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  46.   Hodda says:
    Posted: 17 May 11

    Wow, Truthfully, This can get deep. I've been entertaining all week with black/white issues. The bottom line is happiness is a feeling not a color. Everybody wants to be opinionated but at the end of the day none of it matters, when you are in the arms of that person that completes you. We as black men and all men walk around miserable daily waiting for that righteous rib of ours. A lot of black and white men are confused and clueless to this fact. Black women/White women not all, but majority run around looking for the right ribcage they fit in, they then start trying to force themselves into the wrong ribcages, but no matter what they do they will not fit. Love isn't a color, it's not a image we've been tricked into thinking it is, it's not a job, car, big house, big bank account, weight, distance or any materialistic thing or in simple english a "noun". It's a feeling, has it's own orbit that exist without us and has a natural flow that can't be created or destroyed. "Love Hurts" Love has never hurt anyone. People do that, no one wants to be accountable for what they do. I admit we have our share of Black women that date outside of the race for the wrong reasons, same as white women dating brothers for the wrongs reasons, etc..I feel they have issues and it's not any love that can fix that. I feel a lot of Black women have been hurt and dogged out, or maybe seen their mothers mistreated by their fathers, or other black men and truly haven't dealt with that issue, or let go of that part of their life and maybe using this as a release. Black men as well, this is a psychological problem. Nothing wrong with having preference and choice but when you're uncomfortable in your own skin and wanna use loving the opposite race as a shield for something that's way deeper that's the problem.

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    • queenofspice says:
      Posted: 23 Nov 11

      Wow Hodda! That assessment and philosophical analysis was and is so together. My very sentiments.. Even though there are other assessments that are very good, you have given and expressed the more and inclusive theory of any that I have read on here. Whether the choices are being made by men, women, blacks, whites, or whomever, I do feel that there are a lot of the interest and choices that are made, are certainly misplaced, because of some past issues that people have not resolved in their lives. And I do think in those cases that is sad because, that alone in the long run could cause hurt, humiliation, and cause a lot of pain in the end, because I feel in those cases the relationship will perhaps not turn out to be very successful. Also it is sad that these issues can't be owned, accepted and the person reach out for help, get the help they so much need, and try to heal themselves, so when they do chose a person, race or gender, that it can be made for the right reasons and in a healthy way, so that everyone can experience REAL and TRUE LOVE. But it's unlikely, that can happen when making choices for the wrong reasons, and then bring so much baggage into a relationship, because it will be doomed from the beginning. There is nothing greater than having someone that you love, almost more than life, to be waiting for you to come home to, someone that when you leave work, you will be in such a hurry to get home to them, that you won't even want stop to gas up the car, because you're in such hurry to get home to be in their arms, to ask , how their day has been, and to find that special someone at home waiting for you, that is reciprocating those save feelings and emotions to you mutually. To have someone with whom you are proud to claim as your very own and proud to have on your arm to take out and show off at dinner, someone who is a TOTAL package, that is your confidant, your best friend, your LOVER, someone who shares with you in every walk of life. What could be better? But remember people , in order to have this type of relationship from my experience you have to start it out without baggage, one has to take the responsibility to try and make themselves healthy in every aspect, physically, financially, mentally emotionally, psychologically and last but not least sexually. That's my take from my experience.

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  47.   2old2b_here says:
    Posted: 06 May 11

    im not sure why but I sense that black women try harder to be successfull in anything they do simply because of being thought of as less a woman because she is black. it has been my experience that black women a far the better in anything they attemp by majority for the same reason. I have more respect for them on the whole over any other race.

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    • EddyReady says:
      Posted: 05 May 12

      @ 2old2b I agree with you 100% ! I've said it on these blogs before and i'll say it again,( BLACK WOMEN ),one of god's greatest creation :) ! EddyReady

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  48.   2old2b_here says:
    Posted: 06 May 11

    there is but one race, human. censes shows that by majority the black male population rate in our prisons is 75 percent. if these figure were to be carried over into any local population it would make any woman white or black fell somewhat insecure in having a relationship with a black male. I have many black male friends and I laugingly tell them "there is no monoganism in you" and they pretty much agree. there are exceptions to every rule. In breif I think black women feel safer in a relationship with a white male. I can not comment on why white women date black males. Im not qualified.

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    • Blacksteel09 says:
      Posted: 09 Jun 11

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  49.   nuhaitian says:
    Posted: 02 May 11

    ** Ugh this keyboard... There was a time id swear I would never date outside my color. Hell I've never dated outside of my nationality. I don't have a white man experience to compare, so I still have my flag up for the Negros lol. Now that I'm trying to be more open to the idea, YALL NEED TO SHUT UP AND DON'T RUIN IT FOR ME .. ha-ha ... Seriously, just relax and stop posting bs blogs and starting sh!*. Remember, heaven is one big city where everyone will be equal. If this topic was important to Ur eternal life, Jesus would've said so. CALM DOWN PPL JEEZ

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    • ChocoGal says:
      Posted: 04 Sep 11

      U go girl, say it like it is!!!

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      • ChocoGal says:
        Posted: 04 Sep 11

        Needless to say, I've been on both side where black dislike white and vice versa. Luckily my dating experiences with the white race has not had any negative effect on my perception and desire to still go out with white guys. Any race that sees itself superior is the one with low self esteem in my opinion. I don't need anyone to dictate who I can or cannot date just because of skin color. KAPUSH!!!!!

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        • Q18 says:
          Posted: 22 May 12

          When I look at some of these post I say to myself "Black people we got a long way to go." Why do we dislike ourselves so much. We are the main targets of interracial dating. Dr. Francis Cress Welsing was right , white supremacy is alive and working well. I far from one to place blame on any one. However, psychologically we have been work on. Throughout we have accepted any one that accept us . While I do not care to debate or argue about someone else personal choice. I will state my perspective. It is my responsibility as a black man to love my people and respect their free will. However, it is also my responsibility to help them understand the power of unity. many are talk about gaining an education in the European since, however, no one seem to be educated on who they are. I myself will soon have a degree in this system. However, I refuse to let it define total sense of understanding. True education is educating self about self. Without my people understanding of our great history as a race, unity will be a merely a dream. With out my people understanding the many factors that lead to our modern day problems, unity will be merely a dream. Brothers will continue to blame sisters and sister will continue to blame brothers. The victory will go to those who want to see our demise. Peace and Love!

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          • trackgirl15 says:
            Posted: 25 Jun 12

            finally, someone who tells it like it is. we certainly have been worked on as a people. nobody makes a complaint when any other race dates outside of their "race" but when black people do it OH BOY!!!! I believe this is a big problem in the USA because of the history of the country. many other countries date interracially all the time. I think black people should definitely learn about our history.........starting with the history of black people in AMERICA...........keep fighting my brotha!!!!!

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  50.   nuhaitian says:
    Posted: 02 May 11

    Ehg ehmmm What is all this hooplah about anyway? Who cares? Stop trying to find reasons why black folks date white folks. There's only one race and that's the human race. So if one likes a little cream in their coffee let em have it. Black ppl in the usa need to find out and know their history. Once u know where Uve been, ull know where Ur going. U ppl have problems or too much time in Ur hands. All this bs about whose skin color is more superior makes me wanna barf. Too much one sided bs in here. This site caught my eye bc o thought ppl on here were diff from the idiots I deal with everyday but oops... Lemme just say I've never found white men attractive. Coming from a country where everyone is black, I can't be the angry black woman whose suddenly always been attracted to white men lol. And if yall really wanna discuss superiority, black ppl were the 1st ppl on the planet. From Adam to Jesus himself.

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    • nika23 says:
      Posted: 14 May 12

      I agree, I'm also an immigrant (white people were few and far between, but there were all other races) and I never saw a white person until I came to the US. I find men of all races attractive, but attraction is not the only key to love. To me it's all about how the person treats me. I dated black men most of my life, but I was often ridiculed for being who I am. If I dated a "regular brother" I generally heard negative comments for being educated, not wearing expensive name brands, not cursing or using the N word and many other dumb things. The rare educated black men that date black women would make it seem like they were doing me a favor by being with me and complained about me not being light skinned enough, not skinny enough, hair not long enough and now that I'm natural, hair not straight. No woman wants to be constantly criticized for being herself. As a teen when I thought about my future life with a husband and children, I always saw a black man, so maybe they were my ideal, but the physical outside is a lot less important to me than the values, morals and characteristics of the person. I'm not saying there are no good black men, but there are few who will date black women and I don't want a thug, so I opened my options to men of other races. I'm just looking for someone who will be good to me and has similar life goals. Black men often call black women gold diggers, but in most all black relationships I know, the women are the ones making the money. If they suggest that the guy goes to college, or gets a trade or does something to improve himself, thereby increasing his desireability to employers, we are accused of trying to change them or of being gold diggers. I can't deal with someone always thinking the worst of me and accusing me of nonsense because I can't stand drama. For me, I'll deal with someone who appreciates me for who I am and wants to be there for me through thick and thin as I would for them. I've grown tired of accepting guys and their short comings and not being accepted for me. If the man that treats me well happens to be white, Asian, Indian, Native American or mixed race like Hispanics etc, I won't care what anyone thinks because being loved and appreciated for who I am is much more important than being loved by a man who is black.

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