Black women who date white men have been labeled so many things. In fact some of these labels attached to black women white men relationships have been the main reason why most of these women choose to only date black men.
Some black women have been bombarded with the rhetorical question: “What kind of black woman brings home a white man” by their family and friends whenever there is the mention of a white man they are dating. And this question is never asked in a positive light. In an article by Sandy Banks in the LA Times, Banks tries to shows us some answers that reflect two conflicting opinions of this woman. Is she:
“Open-minded or desperate; a champion of her gender or traitor to her race; someone who is culturally secure or trying to look away from her own black face?”
If you asked me, the kind of Black woman who has a white husband or boyfriend is one who is smitten with love… one who falls for, dates and marries a man who makes her happy no matter the race.
What is your opinion of this black woman?
i exclusively ONLYdate white men,and i dont apologize for it
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With so many different people, so many different upbringings, so many different experiences, you can’t say there is one definitive reason why a woman or man is attracted more to one race than another. There are a plethora of reasons, subliminal and/or overt.
Personally, I am very attracted to black women. But that’s not to say that I’m not attracted to women of other races or mixed races. I’d like to think that a woman who dates outside of her race dates that way because she is truely looking to find the right fit for her and the love of her life.
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I think Black women who date White men have tried and failed at dating only Black men. I have married three Black men and have been cheated on, lied to, abused, and mistreated. I am trying to date White men for the first time because I am tried of being mistreated and I want to find someone who will love me, treated me with respect, and spend the rest of my life with. I do not care at this time what color he is. If you have done the same thing all your life and not gotten the results you want, you need to try something different
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i date any guy thats cool and good in bedcall me openminded
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I agree with you both; as a bw I’m looking for someone who will be my partner for life. Yes, I’ve been in relationships with black men for a number of years…but just like you, I’ve had horrible results in the past…I don’t feel I have to justify my conscienous decision on who I date, mate and related too. If he is white, fine, if he’s latino all the better, asian..perferct..as well as native american and somoan etc. I am looking for that person who will appreciate my gifts, as will I his. People who usually make these crazy kind of comments; are usually uneducated and completely ignorant to the ways of the world…life’s too short to sweat the small stuff. I hate intolerance ang biggotry of any kind. To be honest, it’s my opinion that people who think this way are of the prehistoric era. They need to get over it. Simply put, at the end of the day, the person who makes you happy at the sheer thought of your presence in thier life, is the one I will work very hard to keep! Be he white, latino, asian, native american, etc. If that offends people…than so be it! It is what it is!
We as bw have always had the same options as our counterparts…we’ve just come to the realization of that fact, and to me that is a wonderful thing
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The kind of black woman who dates a white man is a woman secure in herself and her decisions. What color is love….Life is short and we better focus on things that will benefit of as oppose to petty things like ” Why you date outside your race” Some people been trying to find love in their race and die alone. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
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It is very apparent that some people in this world are aware while others are stuck in tradition. God made all of us and we are creatures of choice. So when people judge others on their preferences, it is what it is … sadly so. I prefer to date white men because that is what I want and like everyone else…. I am exercising my personal rights.
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Its funny that you mention this. In my family and along with my peers I would often get the side eye from dating white men or any other man that is not black. Anytime I would go out with my best friend and if a black man was hitting on me she would immediately step right in with comments like ” Oh she only dates white men” or “She don’t date black guys”. All which are untrue. I date all types from all walks of life. It just has been in recent years had long term relationships with white men.
To me its all about the maturity of the mind and how you see life, if you let people define who you should be with based on the color their skin than you will live a very unhappy life. I could care less If I date a white man, black man, Asian man, Spanish man etc…..I am not dating them for their race I am dating them for who they are individually!
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I think sweeping generalizations are just that…sweeping and general. There’s no hard and fast rule for this. I am a white man and have only dated black women most of my life, with a couple disastrous exceptions. This largely has to do with where I grew up and how I was treated. I met and have been dating a black woman I met on this site in July of 2010. She has to be the coolest, most funny, creative and kind person I have ever met. I’ve asked her this question before and it really had to do with where she felt comfortable. She said that her attraction was always towards white men and it is what it is. Her parents don’t agree and hate me because I’m white and have sleeve tattoos. Her mother told me I was KKK the day I met her, to which I just laughed. I think the answer to this question is personal and goes by a case by case basis. For a lot of us the so called ‘taboo’ is exciting, for others it’s about being appreciated for who we are and what we have in common (and don’t have in common) that makes the interracial relationship exciting, fun and unique. Personally, for my own reasons, I have never liked white women and would never remotely consider dating one. The amount of appreciation and respect I get and give to my woman is leagues beyond anything I ever shared w/ a white woman. Her and I have had our ups and down (mostly ups) and she’s my best friend. We have an amazing friendship and deep respect for each other and as time progresses I find my self only more attracted to her. If you treat a black woman right, you’ll have the best, most loyal and loving companion you could hope for.
p.s. we’re saving our ‘Success Story’ until we tie the knot.
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I am dating a white guy who has been married twice to white women and both marriages ended due to the white women not appreciating this man who wants his woman home he has the funds to keep his women taken care of. Im dating outside my race due to the shortage of good brothers. I am 50 have had my share of heartbreak and have broken hearts. I’m seeking someone who will love me absolutely and definitely. I love my brothers but I want to be happy and dont give a damn of looks coming from any race mine, his or any other. He makes me ecstaticly happy. I’m an Rn
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Black women are usually stigmatized by our own race for dating white men. Statements like, “she’s trying to be white”, or “she only wants his money”. I personally know plenty of black me that have money, but not worth dating. I grew up within a multi-racial family, so was not taught color coding, but have been condition by friends and environment to stay within my own kind. I’m 38 now, have only dated 3 white men, and even though they didnt work out due to whatever circumstances, I was treated alot better by those 3 men. I had given up for a while; thinking that I can stay with my own if I want an a**. But here I am, realizing that if I want to really fall in love & find my true love, I have to take down my bounderies and not care what other people think. I learned that love doesnt have a color; it didnt with my parents. I’m hoping I find my Mr.Right and it doesnt matter how light skin he is, and if my friends, family, whoever doesnt like it- so be it. Wish me luck!
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I have dated 2 black men,one broke up with me_no exlanation
The other cheated on me
I hope to meet a caring,understanding White dude..I think they are so cute,their hair..Mwaaah!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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As a Black man who has dated Black women in the past as well, I can say that my outcomes were mostly negative, not because the woman was Black, but because the woman had issues that were intolerable to deal with. I decided to date more outside of my race as a means of exploration and the women were attractive. Never once did I feel that those few Black women were the representatives of the entire Black female race. I happen to have met quite a few good Black women. Why am I not with them? Because they were involved in relationships that they were happy in, with good men. My reasons for my exploration was to expand the options for meeting a potential mate, not to discredit Black women. It just so happened that when I started dating other races, I got better results. But I confess, not all the results were positive when dating women from other ethnic groups. it’s not about the race of the potential mate, it’s about the character that lies within the individual you choose to date. If he/she is of a different race, what does it matter if people around you greet this in a negative manner. If the person treats you with respect, makes you happy then thats all that matters.
Were all individuals, and only can be held accountable for our own actions. Unfortunately, not everyone holds to the same standard of morality and integrity. That in itself comes as a double edged sword. While the variations in morality and integrity are perfect identifying markers for determining the partner that best suits you, it’s also that same morality and integrity (or lack thereof) that compels some people to act and react in negative ways if you do choose to date someone who’s another race.
What it comes down to is even though your experiences with Black men were bad, it doesn’t mean all Black men are bad. It just means you made bad choices. As you embark on your relationships with men from other races you will find there will be good and bad experiences with them as well. You just have to be certain that the guy you’re with is a decent wholesome guy who has your best interest at heart as you do his.
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I am a self assured blk woman. Why should it make any difference to any one on the planet about who Im dating &/or do doing. Opinions are like assholes every ones got one so if your thoughts are not positive regarding this subject matter keep it to ya damn self. There is enough negative stuff in the world. Why can’t people see interracial dating azure a step towards the positive. Two worlds coming together, its a beautiful thing. I’ve also discovered the very ones that razor
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That raz me are the ones lurking in the shadows waiting for an oppurtunity to ask me questions de:dating and making.g love with a white man
my response: all cats are gray in the dark. when you need or want lovins are you going to stop and take the time to profile him or are you going to relish the moment? Basically let that man love you. seal the deal!
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Actually, when an individual start out a relationship with someone of an opposite race, it is done as a method of exploration. In which exploration is a learning tool that leads us to discover new things. These new things can be very exciting to an individual, than the ones the individual is accustomed of dealing with day-by-day. Also, it can be compared as having an appetite for a new type of food, but in this case it is a new type of race or different culture. An example is that when two individuals of different race are together usually heads turn, than when someone sees together individuals of the same race. When heads turn, it can be due to different reasons but the main one is that it draws attention.
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All kinds of black women from all walks of life and every profession imaginable date white men. Let’s see World Class athletes, supermodels, actresses, musicians, pilots, doctors, members of parliament, teachers, students,professors, university deans, soldiers, military officers, writers, ski instructors ……the list goes on.
I’m sure they are open minded and not “desperate “
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