Swirling by Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

Why are Some Black Women Hating on Michael Ealy's New, Non-Black Wife?

Posted by Christelyn, 24 Dec 12

News about “Think Like a Man” star Michael Ealy secretly married a non-black woman was posted today on the Essence Facebook fan page. A friend of mine sent me the link and made a comment about all the hateful, bitter black women who felt like they lost another brotha to a “white” woman. The claws came out, and threats to boycott Ealy's films and general wringing of hands about the diminishing prospect of "black love" was the topic of conversation. Here's what some of them said:

“Who cares….Essence u post this like we Sistahs care!…We like black/black relations only! Let those other mags promote him….oh this isn't news for them either! About to remove Essence fm my page….they gone pop culture too!”

“Everybody is entitled to their opinion. I say Congrats to him. However, I can’t help but point out the fact that some of our Hollywood Brothers just aren’t into dating or marrying Sistah’s!!!”

“When I watch the country music awards, latin grammy , spanish telenovleas, bollywood indian movies these men have their own race of women. what do you think would happen if tom cruise, george clooney, brad pitt, mario lopez dumped their white woman for a black woman ? do you think their white female fans would still be there and support them ? do you think if joel osteen dumped victoria for a black woman that his fan base would still be there ? i see bishop mc clendon is married to another nonblack woman but i have not seen her pics on his website or on google and her name is not even mentioned ? but the church is made up of black women. Yes, people are looking at this and talking about black men tossing their women aside. Belcher football player killed his black woman but was laying up the night with a white woman ? this is how we are treated. so sad.”

“Mike better ask Taye Diggs what happens when you anger a whole lot of sisters by having a white woman. That dude’s career has been in a tailspin ever since. But Mike did date Halle Berry and she’s half black, so it’s not like he never gave sisters a shot.”

“SOME Black men will use the loyalty of Black women to move on up, espcially in entertainment, and then marry a chick from a different color dick. I can’t …..”

Why are these ladies mad? Were they dating Michael? Is he beholden to them in some way, aside from the obvious obligation to remain gorgeous at all times? To their credit, the majority of commenters were happy for the nuptials and wished the couple well. It’s the few turds in the punch that I want to address.

Listen to me carefully, ladies. Only black women who feel they have no other options but to date and marry black men care that black men aren’t marrying and dating them. You only feel slighted and treated unfairly when you believe you lack the power to exercise your own dating options. When you know you are free to chase the rainbeau, you can look lovingly at Michael and his blushing bride and feel truly happy for them, and instead of hating on her ethnicity in the comments section of a Facebook page, you might ask, “Does she have a brother??”

Ladies, this is a mental bondage, not of our own creation, but the perpetuation of the belief that black women should only and ever be with black men is a cage you walk into on your own volition and slam the door, fully aware that you have the key to free yourself.

My critics wonder why I push so hard for black women to consider interracial relationships. What happened on that fan page is one of the reasons. I want black women to stop being so lonely, so bitter, so single, and so unmarried. I want us to be happy with men in whatever color package he’s well…packing. Because when you’re happy, you can be happy for others.

Free your minds, ladies. Unlock the cage.

By Christelyn Karazin Co-author, "Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed" and publisher of BeyondBlackWhite.com

53 responses to "Why are Some Black Women Hating on Michael Ealy's New, Non-Black Wife?"

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  1.   Toitheone says:
    Posted: 31 May

    I'm just jealous cause I wanted him. Lol! On a serious note. I just don't understand why so many women are so upset. You can't help who you love.

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  2.   2dare says:
    Posted: 20 May

    Thersis no such thing as being fully black! Really! As for Mr. and Mrs. Ealy.. Wishing you all the very best! Love comes in all shades! but beauty comes from within...

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  3.   2fyne says:
    Posted: 17 May

    LMAO this guy is not even fully Black anyway. Personally, I don't care. The look good together. (?'?')?

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  4.   Brown4u says:
    Posted: 09 Feb

    I've been dating white men since age 16, so i don't have a problem with mike ealy or any other black man dating women of other races. what i have a problem with is when brothers get on national tv and/or do interviews and put sisters down by stereotyping us. we are just as nice, sweet, kind and financially sound to boot and any other race of women. actually on a whole, black women surpass black men economically and have so for many years. but as soon as a brother gets a few dollars, he wants to buy a snow bunny. and what do the all powerful white men do: laugh at these brothers..i do too unfortunately..

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  5.   RodDawg13 says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 13

    Who cares it's his life. Get over it. Find someone and quit being so bitter about small stuff.

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  6.   onetreehill says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 13

    Michael Ealy can marry whomever he wants. I don't see the problem. Love is not about color. Let me assure you, the black women who responded negatively, can't damage anyone's career. I love to see people "step outside the box". The problem for black women is that the media protrays us so negatively, and we allow that. People who don't take the time to get to know black women personally, learn whatever they know about "us" from TV or in public places. Reality TV has really harmed the image of black women. Back to my point, marry or date whomever you want. Interracial love is beautiful. Getting mad about who someone date or marry doesn't make sense to me. We cry about freedom, what about the freedom to choose whomever you want to spend your life with. I celebrate a person's right to choose!!!!

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  7.   cocalicious says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 13

    I don't have a problem with dating white men, but it seems all the fat, ugly, balding ones try to hit on me. I refuse to lower my standards just to have a man. Oh and for the record I did date a white man for years until I read his IM to a white women that he dated me because he was curious! and he wasn't the most attractive white man at that, so NEVER again will I disgrace myself and date a curious white man. There are plenty of brotha's out there that prefer, value and love their Nubian Queens.

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  8.   cookie_11 says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 13

    Hmmmm and if you pay close attention, he has black and white features. He appears to be not pure black himself. Personally I never cared for this guys looks. He is pretty and I prefer the rugged look anyhow. But I understand why some black women are in an uproar. The media has made it hard for other types of non-Euro beauty to be acceptable. Brain washing is very real and many men drink the koolaid, so they do often want non black women to fall in love with they will even seek white ladies out on purpose. With that said, I'm ok with that, while at the same time I can understand black women frustration with the media brainwashing men ti believe there is just one way to be pretty, valuable, smart and wife material. I get it, but still at the end of the day, I think folks should mate with who they like.

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  9.   OnyxJewel01 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 13

    Free Your Mind...and the rest will follow...Rainbeau Power!

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  10. Posted: 26 Jul 13

    They look good together.

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  11.   Atiya30 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 13

    Forgive me I was typin fast and tryin to type madhin on my phone usin my fingers intead of a needle

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  12.   Atiya30 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 13

    That looked if God was racist he love all us the same otherwise maybe it would have been only one race n the world everyone have the right to love who they want to love and dont need permission everyone and relayionships have problems nomatter race but I can assure u its not because one day a black man marries a white woman then he wake up one mornin and realize he didnt marry a black woman or he made a mistake love irs love and until this earth is destroyed people will still date or marry outsise race there is nothin noone can do aboyt that its just lije people judge age long as its legal then age is only a dam number I dont discrimnate age or race Long as God dont dont have a problem wit race then thats all that matter im happy for all relationships or marriages if u datin outside yovrace or datin a younger or older person b happy live life its about wat makes u happy mind over matter onlyGod matter and people who is n yolife and happy for u as well let noone tell u different

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  13.   Atiya30 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 13

    Just because he married outside his race isnt a bad thing its a blessin why mess wit this man because he choose to marry outside his race like boycott his movie its insane black women irs like this sum of u spend so much time bein jealous of black men datin white women that u miss out on love a man will b a man nomatter race and a wiman going to b a womwn nomatter race all races cheat for ones who unfaithful and decide to cheat go find love instead of bein ignorant this needs to stop white men love black women too black women b so busy critizin black men datin white women that they dont realize thats the reason a black man go after white woman because of the way sum black women is we as nlack women have bad relationships wit black men so when a black man date a white woman sum become angry and bitter takin it out on white women just stop life is to dam short datin outside your race isnt n the bible its not a ten commamment n the bible God dont see race he see his children he want us to love one another if it wasnt meant to date outside race then each race probably would have been on their own planet or world and then maybe then it would have been a crime but its not we all came wit the same price we r all equally but different but not becauae the color of our skin If we Say we love God but most of us is racist thats not love for God how would

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  14.   Atiya30 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 13

    First off there r sum ignorant people n this world we all n this world together God dont judge us by the color of our skin so why should we judge when sumone date or marry outside their race love is love u want go to hell for lovin or bein wit a different rates we dont own black men any race for that matter im happy for anyone n live no matter their race im a black woman and if a white man or asian etc wants to date me and we fall n love hell yes I will marry them n a heartbeat grow up black white people etc whoever hhas a problem wit datin or marryin outside their race God love all nomatter race and its not pleasin to him wen we act this way just because a black man marry a white woman dont mean he done wit black women or dont want to date them anymore bottomline it means he have fallin n love wit a woman nomatter her race I am a michael ealy fan and millions of others

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  15.   kctiger4u says:
    Posted: 09 Jan 13

    As a white male I can still recall my very first crush in 3rd grade was a black girl named Michelle. Now I attended a 99.9 percent white school in a fairly rural part of Missouri. One could imagine the reaction to what was still a social taboo. This was back in the late 70's and it had a deep and profound affect upon me so much so that I centered an anthropology paper around her just a few years ago for my Human variation class. First and foremost race is a social construct used to quantify people for demographical, medical, and political reasons since on a genetic level our differences are so little as not to be qualified save for safe medical practices. The ethnic barriers we erect and perpetuate are self constructs and derive their practice from mankinds tribal roots and our need to know our place in the hierarchy of a given group or society. The need to fit into ones own group often leads to stereotyping and bigotry. Mostly this is a model born out of fear and ignorance of all mankinds East African origins and based on purely phenotypical differences. These differences include such things as skin color, our hair, eye color, even speech patterns. Yet these differences, many of which are the result of the enviroment in which we evolved, are miniscule in comparison to our shared genetic traits. I have witnessed it first hand because I choose to love whom I choose to love. One my ex girlfriends who came from the East Indies once expressed frustration to me because of the treatment she got at the hands of afro americans. She felt more acceptance from other ethnic groups. The fact is if we were not intended to love across these self imposed barriers then the result of such unions our offspring would be non viable and unable to reproduce. Admixture among groups strengthens all of mankind and builds bonds of enduring love and friendship among groups and frequently redefines the very hierarhies that a few seek to maintain out of fear or jealously. Love across such lines frees us from the bondage of ignorance and I believe Dr. King would be proud to recognise the courage of those who practice it. Such bitter emotion by these women calls for some self analysis as to the root of their disapproval. Then maybe they can find the courage to love outside the box.

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  16.   emerald4u says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 13

    The article and this whole converstion is retarded with a capital "R". Who cares? Appears to me they make a lovely couple. God bless them. Now ppl, go find the love of your lives. Good luck -grin.

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  17.   blkqueen75 says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 13

    LOVE IS LOVE! If you respect and love yourself, you will in turn respect and love others -PERIOD. Peace & Love.

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  18.   eyes2soul says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 13

    Otis=it's...damn typo lol

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  19.   eyes2soul says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 13

    Slandering your own race is disgusting and it is why you will NEVER be happy with another race. I like white men, but I don't talk down black men. You can't generalize all people based on experience. Otis highly racist.

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  20.   eyes2soul says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 13

    Posts like this are why our race isn't united. Who cares about what color the of his wife...as long as he is happy. I don't let black men generalize me, because I can't be put into a category. I'm too unique. This type of post just shows how ignorant some people are.

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  21.   cme23 says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 13

    Every person is entitled to their own preference physically but finding someone you are compatible with mentally is key. Im personally attracted to women of all shades and I love black women of all shades as well. As a black man that has been told that I "act white" or "speak white" has made me somewhat distant to black woman. Because I speak properly or wasn't a thug I wasn't black enough for "those women". Never the less I dont think all black woman should be held to that standard. There are beautiful and intelligent women of all races and there are also ignorant and racist women out there as well. The same can be said of the flipside for men. I think we should not hold our negative experiences against any one race against the entire race. Untimately having a preference is fine but we all are the same underneath the skin.

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    • 2fyne says:
      Posted: 17 May

      Omg, it's so weird how I can relate to this post!! I've been told the same thing... but it never distanced me from other Blacks. Weird thing is that I never could even picture myself with a Black guy but just a year ago something changed... now I can't imagine being with any other man. I know I should keep my heart open to any and ever sort of person - but just "mixing" would feel odd to me. Idk.... I guess that's why I signed up. To be enlightened. You sound sexy, by the way, lol. I love your insight.

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  22.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 13

    He is sexy AS hell and who cares who he married I wouldnt have liked her. Simple as that. He is fine as a government mule. AND we all know the government has the best mules.

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  23.   Aries100 says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 12

    Because he is sexy in a planet of the Apes type of way

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  24.   falino says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 12

    I have realized that this problem exist mostly in USA. I have been to Europe and i have noticed that the dream of many European white men is to date/married an African decent woman. I have dozen of friends and relatives from Africa who are happily married to European white men and are leaving in Europe. In America it is completely the opposite, and i was a surprised when i noticed it. The problem with AA women is attitude not their looks or complexion, i fine their looks very appealing. Not all of them do have bad attitude though, but the majority do have, and that is the major turn off to men.

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    • DeeAnn says:
      Posted: 07 Jul

      Most African women do not have to support the whole village by themselves. Not many African woman are supporting their children primarily by themselves and that is just the beginning. You, Sir would be annoyed if you were a woman who was put in such a position. This is one reason why black women such marry out. Find yourselves quality men who want to be married and who can financially and emotionally support their families. Any other questions Mr. Falino?

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    • DeeAnn says:
      Posted: 07 Jul

      correction....should marry out.

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  25.   reese says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 12

    I wish black women would worry less about what random black men are doing and design your life the way you want it. How cares about these men in Hollywood or men who aren't checking for you focus on ones who are.

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  26.   OhGoody says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 12

    jod212 Well said. Pleas forgive my previous comment. It was made in anger and aat the spur of the moment. But sometimes, you get tired of hearing the same old tired song.

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  27.   jod212 says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 12

    Sugahrush, Thank you for being a woman of wisdom!!! If I can add to this brillant comment you have left for the readers, I would say this: Black women, please stop going through life with blinders on like horses confined to pulling a cart down a busy city street. Most of you on this site already get this but God may not want you to be with a "Black man" but may instead challenge you by having the love of your life show up in a vastly different package that you may not ever have considered. While your going through life by yourself alone without support, love and care, that make's no sence. Wake up women, many white men check us out...pay attention and give a little smile. You never know how wonderful your life can be if you just broaden your prospective. Remember, love and lust are emotion's that do not know no race or ethnic difference. Love and be loved in return :o)

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    • OhGoody says:
      Posted: 27 Dec 12

      jod212, Well said. My initial comment was made at the spur of the moment and in anger. I get so tired of hearing how noone wants to be with a black woman. Although the BM on this site say that it doesn't bother them to see us with a WM the reality is that most BM treat us like scum if they even think we are interested in a man of another race. Live and let live. Anyone who finds love with another person, regardless of their race, is truly blessed. As for BW, we are strong, educated, sexy, sensual, and intelligent. Too much so to let what others think hold us back. Go for it.

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  28.   OhGoody says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 12

    Oh, wow. Let me get this straight--no man wants a black woman. Really. Not to bash black men, but I would not touch one of YOU with a 10 foot pole. I would much rather be alone for the rest of my life than to SETTLE. I don't complain or whine. I simple go my own way and do my own thing. If Mike wants a non-black woman then more power to him. When more BW wake up and realize that they have better options, you all will be left out in the cold because you simply can't compete.

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 28 Dec 12

      Black men have hire divorce rate with non white women. The highest divorce rate of all ir couples, but still think that everything is bw's fault. Even though we have the lowest. They then act like not enough marriages for the statistics of black women to be correct when almost 20,0000. The fastest growing ir marriages are with black women. You see black women with all kinds of men now. And our marriages are lasting.

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      • arlandf says:
        Posted: 29 Dec 12

        How is black women marriage is lasting when you just said black men have a higher divorce rates with non white women (black women). Just to think about it, your statistics is flawed. Black women divorce rate is at 12.4 while our divorce rates is at 9.1 and the national average is 9.8. Also, if ya'll are with all kinds of men, why do they keep doing these specials on the news about ya'll being single? If you really got it going on, there would be no need for these specials, these complaints about black men wanting non black women, or how to get a white man. That is not proof of people having successful relationships, that sound like a group of desperate people.

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  29.   Brunsugah says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 12

    Let the man choose who he wants to date, these women are crazy to feel bitter or to make snide comments. There are options in life in everything that we do so why should our hearts be any different?

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  30. Posted: 26 Dec 12

    One more quick comment. A lot of black women refer to black men as "our men." Last I checked black men didn't belong to me or any other black women. I certainly don't belong to anybody. I am free to live my life as I please and so is anybody else, regardless of skin color.

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  31. Posted: 26 Dec 12

    True love between any two people is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated. I can't relate to the negative feelings because I tend to date white men. I can say, however, that it really shoudln't bother anybody to see two people in love. It should make you smile. Bitterness and anger don't draw love to you. I think they make a beautiful couple. We should all be happy for them. :)

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  32. Posted: 25 Dec 12

    Sugahrush said it all. There really is no need for harsh words or hate! I love all men and believe they have a right to choose who they want to be with for whatever reason. I just ask that you be respectful if you choose not to date a particular race. Ladies that goes for you too, and mind your business.

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  33.   tlray33 says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 12

    Whatever what you just said is bull. Our men get a little fame and marry white women like its nothing and wonder why we act the way we do. Its because we get s blatantl disrespected and disregarded but the black man so yes we are angry...yes we are bitter. I dont see white men calling their womem bitches on the public platform, i dont see white women on white men videos being called hoes and dancing in g strings....no but our women are trashed and disrespected but is yet still expected to be ok with all this and act like we have sense...yea ok.

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    • arlandf says:
      Posted: 25 Dec 12

      The pot calling the kettle black. Black women disrespect us too. I haven't seen other races of women go on ABC, CNN, or other news stations saying that the can find a good "insert race" man and "insert disparaging racial term" ain't shit. Do you see other races of women make bias comparisons of other races of men to their men. Ya'll do that. As for black men calling black women bitches and hoes, black women volunteer to be called bitches and a hoes. Black women are in the clubs dancing to the music where the artist or DJ is calling them bitches and hoes. They are the ones trying to be "video vixens" allowing rappers to swipe credit cards down their butt crease and call them bitches and hoes. If you don't like it, stop buying their music. Finally, these actors, athletes, etc don't disrespect black women. They made conscious decisions in who they want to marry. What did black women did for these athletes and actors personally for him the marry ya'll? I am not talking about watch their films or buy their jerseys. I am talking about things that really matter to him such as get him to that level. If you didn't do anything for him then you have no right to complain. Like I said before, there are black women in Hollywood, in the athletic world, etc that are married to white men and we are not upset. We have no chance of getting with them. Many times I wanted to give up on black women, but I love ya'll enough to tell you the truth. These women that write about getting other races of men only see ya'll as her paycheck. To be honest, no other races of women have wrote a book like "Swirling". Black men haven't wrote a book about getting other races of women. Black women does that. My thing and black men and sensible black women can attest to this, black women have to change their ways if they want to be married by ANY man.

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  34.   arlandf says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 12

    These women are hating on him because they cannot get him. Simple as that. Heather Headley, Tamera Mowry, etc are married to white men and we hardly get upset. Black men know that we don't have any chances of getting with these women so there is no need to throw a piss fit. I find it insulting that people are after this man after he got his claim to fame. If this man was a college student, catching the bus and living off his financial aid, would you care? If this man was working a nine to five, would these women care? If this man had goals that requires him to be frugal with his money and work real hard, would they even care? If these women only care about something when it is going well, then they really never cared about it in the first place. This is why these brothers have options to date outside the race. As for your book, why don't you push for these women to change their ways so they can get a man. When black women gave their reasons why they dated outside their race, I step my game up. I stay out of trouble, get an education, respected women and every other thing they mentioned. Even though these women didn't appreciate it, it still got me some considerations from other women. In conclusion, black women need to stop worrying about men that they can never get. In addition, don't all of a sudden care about someone because of his name. Finally, these women need to change their ways. Contrary to one poster, women of other races don't care about men of their own race dating someone of another race. If anything, it will make them hypocritical so it would not be wise to do that. Women of other races know that they can get wifed up and know what it takes to get wifed up, Until black women know that, they will remain single, bitter, and hating the next actor, athlete, etc who is marrying these non-black women.

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 28 Dec 12

      Women of other races do care about men dating other races just like black men care about it too. Go read a black blog about Halle engaged to white man. Also read the latino blogs and they do not like their men dating out either. The main difference is that it might effect black women less black men availible because of various reasons. But IR marraiges is not even the biggest factor. Native American w8omen sure care about having 58% of their men married to white women. Asian women don't care because their men do it rarely. White peoples numbers are so great that it has no impact on them at 3% of white women married ir how does that affect white people. Black men aren't married ir in large numbers only 36% of black men are married period. The majority are not in ir rates. If you take the percentage of all of are men compared to the % married out a very small percentage because we have the lowest percentage of marriage.

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      • arlandf says:
        Posted: 29 Dec 12

        I know this is a general comment so I will say a specific group of people. People that don't have options, cares about who is dating who. Black men that has something going on don't care who Halle Berry is dating. In fact, Halle Berry isn't our type of women. She has baggage, even with her white boyfriends. A black man with his stuff together don't want anything to do with her. Also, other races of women don't do it either. They know that anyone will marry them because they are in position to be married. Those people, who happen to be black women, are mad that they can't have him, that's it. I met black women with their stuff together (good attitude, no baby daddy issues, etc). They don't throw fits when they see black men with other races of women. They don't write books or appear on Oprah or other media outlets about not finding a man. Finally, you are being intellectually dishonest when posting stats. You either got it from stormfront.org or you are listening to these black feminist. Either way, it is dishonest. Like I said before, I don't care who ya'll date. However, don't be dishonest. Because some of the things that are being said, the general census can see for themselves.

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        • sweetpeach48 says:
          Posted: 08 Feb

          I am responding to your posts . you are telling the truth in ALL of your post . In general black women are angry , complainers ,obese , have multiple baby daddies , bad credit ,AND disrespectful . All women are not like this but , as you stated a lot of sisters are . Sisters , we do not have the Michael Ealy because of who we are, and how we act .I stated earlier that THE HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA AND R&B DIVAS I SNOT WHO GOD WANTS US TO EMULATE! We as black women have gotten away from god , and thisl brother is trying to tell us the truth , when other races see us , they see the videos about sliding the ccard down our backside as well as us fighting one another and YES, US BEING CALLED OR THE OTHER WIFEY OR SIDE CHICK When God gives us mates , he willnot give a man like Mr. Ealy to a woman who is acting disrespectful, or ignorant . Love has no color . I am personally happy for this couple WE as black women cannot be angry when a brother goes to another race . is your house clean?is your credit good , are your kids behaved ?DO YOU LOVE GOD ? This is why our man are marrying women of different races , THEY ARE AVAILABLE AND ARE HUMBLING THEMSELVES , AND YES THERE ARE MANY DECIEVERS IN MANY RACES BUT...LADIES BE PREPARED !!!. .

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  35. Posted: 25 Dec 12

    Typical bw complaining...Black women never accept the fact that it's more black men in hollywood and every where else in the world with y'all than we are with any other race. Every bm y'all see with a non bw y'all hate but when we are with y'all y'all never acknowledge that. Every where you go in America in Hollywood and everywhere else we are with y'all more hands down, but y'all convinced each other and yourselves that we don't. The bitter woman who wrote this blog and other black girls, dating interracially isn't a justification that you don't care who we date cause you still do, I am tall chocolate successful handsome brotha and bw love me to death but I wouldn't touch y'all with a 10 ft pole because of y'all complaining and attitudes, but I still feel a certain way if I see a pretty light skin sista with a white guy, so stop lying to yourselves because we don't believe you. Black women you wonder why you don't see white men and latin men in Hollywood with you more is because they don't want you either simple as that, y'all swear that white men love you and cry that bm don't but let's look at the facts, the majority of white men handsome men go for whites, latin and asian women, even the ones who you swear love you like robin thicke and bradley cooper have light skinned women.

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    • Klove33 says:
      Posted: 28 Dec 12

      Not all black women are this way. Not all black women are loud, argue and complain. Some of us are opening up our options because of bm like yourself who categorize anyone who looks like me into one box. Anyways, I am a very sweet, educated and successful black woman who gets overlooked just because I am black, until (after dissing me) many bm find out a little bit about me... then they want to act interested. Anyways, good luck in your search for love, but don't categorize all bw as you have in your statement above.

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 28 Dec 12

      The majority of white men are with white women. 97% of them. I had to laugh at your observation because the majority of white women in Hollywood are with white men as well. The majority of non whitewomen don't want you. Why do you think they have articles like good black men being hurt by steretypes as well. The majority of time it is black me with white women in Hollywood like Coco. I think you are the ones who are dislusional if you think that all or even the majority or non white women want black husbands. I am not complaining and alot of us aren't. The black woman wants to know why black women are getting upset. She isn't she is married to nonblack man.

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      • arlandf says:
        Posted: 29 Dec 12

        Okay honey, You just contradicted yourself. If black women don't want us, why are they complaining about losing their men to non black women? That don't make any sense. Once again, intellectual dishonesty and ulterior motives and you wonder why we get upset over these articles. They are not genuine reasons.

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    • SugahRush says:
      Posted: 29 Dec 12

      Christelyn, the author said (at article midpoint): "Why are these ladies mad? Were they dating Michael? Is he beholden to them in some way, aside from the obvious obligation to remain gorgeous at all times? To their credit, the majority of commenters were happy for the nuptials and wished the couple well. Its the few turds in the punch that I want to address." "Listen to me carefully, ladies. Only black women who feel they have no other options but to date and marry black men care that black men arent marrying and dating them. You only feel slighted and treated unfairly when you believe you lack the power to exercise your own dating options. " ********************************************************************************************* Dear Beautiful Black Man/Brother : (YES. BLACK MEN/BROTHERS ARE BEAUTIFUL--I'm a witness!!) The point of the article is to urge Black women to adopt a more creative approach to dating & love. Simply put, the article encourages [Black] women to "Think Outside the Box" or in the words of the old song "Free Your Mind and [the rest] will follow". It's entirely about empowerment and understanding. For centuries Black women have been conditioned to believe that Black men are THE ONLY men for them to date/marry. As an increasing number of Black men became unavailable (for whatever reason), Black women may have wondered if they were being rejected because of their Black features. Feelings might be expressed in the form of anger, resentment and frustration. A common question was/is "WHY are my looks rejected or despised by men WHO LOOK LIKE ME?" "What about Me" is a valid question more often rooted in "survival than selfishness". BUT "Frustration is carrying a burden that God never intended for one to carry!" Somewhere, some how this burden has to be unloaded. In fact, Black women have a responsibility to "LET IT GO". THIS article urges us to do so. As the product of a network of beautiful, strong, gentle, enterprising Black men (including my ex), I admire and adore them. As a mother, I have blessed the world with 3 incredible Black men. I have worked and fought beside Black men and NEVER against them. However, Black [American] men do not call me for a date unless they are foreign born.Otherwise, it's usually men of other races. This doesn't mean that there's something wrong with me. I've nothing but deep respect for them and their preferences. Why? Because I am fully aware that I also have options and for SOMEONE, I am a preference. Nothing but joy is to be felt when a man or woman find love--regardless of the melanin levels of either party. CELEBRATE the love!!

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    • catzandria says:
      Posted: 07 Jun

      Why are you so hateful. Nothing wrong with african american women...anyway nothing that other race of women are experiencing too. I am african by birth and culturally. When i read a rant like yours it makes me see how slavery destroyed and continues to stand between the black males and females. Skin color and pigment don't matter to God. Get over it. Evolve from the trash you were taught and see the truth.

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    • DeeAnn says:
      Posted: 07 Jul

      What a silly, egotistical, and successful(??) man you are. What other culture man describes himself as a favor, Mr. Chocolate or is it Mr. Dark? Most black men would not have graduated high school had it not been for that bw teacher and the same for those that went to college or a university. Black men are the most egotistical men on Earth. Everybody wants us? Why? Because we have a "big one". Some other culture women/men use you simply because you have a "big one" and not all bm have a "big one". For the most part, I could careless about Michael and his woman. Most black men do not remain married to the same other culture woman. Many bm jump from one other culture woman to the next. Therefore, if those women don't mind why should I? BW complaining or are we trying to point you in the right direction? If a man wants to date outside of his race that is fine with me, just stop sharing the same old lines or stories about bw. Ironically, there are other culture men who have found contentment with bw. BTW, the author of this particular blog is anything but, miserable. She has a wonderful life with her w/husband and children.

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  36.   Sugahrush says:
    Posted: 24 Dec 12

    Only black women who feel they have no other options but to date and marry black men care that black men arent marrying and dating them. You only feel slighted and treated unfairly when you believe you lack the power to exercise your own dating options. When you know you are free to chase the rainbeau, you can......feel truly happy for them....... I want black women to stop being so lonely, so bitter, so single, and so unmarried. I want us to be happy with men in whatever color package hes wellpacking. Because when youre happy, you can be happy for others. *************************************************************** This excerpt from your article is beautifully empowering! Segregation has no place in Love & Marriage. It's incredible that our ancestors worked so hard to tear down walls and this generation worked so hard to shatter glass ceilings, yet we, as Black women (and men) still live as those afraid to venture out into the world beyond the expanse of our arms reach. The shackles have been broken from your feet. Don't just stand there...STEP OUT!!! Your love awaits.

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