Swirling by Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

Creating An Alluring Online Profile Sure to Turn Some Heads! (For the Ladies)

Posted by Christelyn, 01 Mar 13

Online dating may not be the only way to meet a mate, but it certainly has become an essential part of the matrix. And since men are visual, women looking to catch the attention of the fellas need to make sure their profiles are perfect--the absolute perfect reflection of you.  The goal is to  get the guy to hover over your picture and profile long enough to allow the opportunity for him to get to know you on the inside. You know you’ve doing something right when you get a message from a tall and handsome man who writes, “I can’t stop looking at your picture.”

Tricks of the Trade for the Perfect Online Photo

There’s no need to hire a professional photographer to take your photo. The beauty of a digital camera is that you can snap an infinite number of shots, so at least one of them is bound to be a good one! You might ask then, what makes for a good photo? Believe it or not there’s a scientific formula. The human eye is trained to favor symmetry--from an evolutionary perspective, a more symmetrical face reflects a good, strong gene pool. The bad news? Only .001% of the human population has a perfectly symmetrical face. The good news? You can fake it. A tilt of the head, a slight turn away from the camera, and ta-daa! Another trick: fill in your eyebrows, starting at the edge of each side of the bridge of your nose. Then create an arch from the tip of each nostril, and then go in a downward direction. (See illustration)

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

And here’s a last little clever tactic--create bedroom eyes. You know, that look of love you get when your pupils are dilated? Studies show that men and women who have dilated pupils are viewed as more attractive, because it stirs warm, emotive feelings in the person who is on the receiving end. But you need not be in love to get bedroom eyes. Try this: shut your eyes for a few seconds and then open them and take a picture. This is action automatically dilates your pupils and gives you those loving eyes the guys long for.

There’s also a positive evolutionary response to smooth, clear skin, so be sure to apply your make up accordingly.

What are you wearing?

Style doesn’t matter as much as color, according to some studies, that indicate women who wear red stir a man’s excitement and quickens his breathing. It also doesn’t hurt to show a little cleavage, but remember to keep is tasteful. For example, take a look at this photo--which picture shows a more physically attractive woman?

Yeah...exactly.

Finally, be sure to have poses of your face and body. Remember, men are visual and while the animal in them really wants to see you naked, their imagination can fill in the blanks if he sees you at the beach playing volleyball, wearing shorts while hiking, or a cocktail dress while you’re out with your girlfriends. But note, no pictures with other guys...men are territorial even before they meet you. Try not to blame them to much; it’s a primal response.

Profile Summary

While you might voraciously read every detail in a man’s summary, men put less stock in it. In fact, too much information could lead to a guy trying to figure out how to discount you from consideration. Saying things like, “I’m looking for my soulmate,” or “I want an on-fire, God-fearing, Bible-thumping Christian!!” might be a bit too much front end information. Keep is simple. Keep it mysterious. I once knew a woman who posted two words under her profile, “Surprise me,” and was deluged with men interested in do just that.

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of "Swirling: How to Date, Mate & Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed," and runs a popular women's relationship blog, Beyond Black & White.

12 responses to "Creating An Alluring Online Profile Sure to Turn Some Heads! (For the Ladies)"

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  1.   Sexylin50 says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 14

    Need to learn more

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  2. Posted: 20 May 13

    I agree with Candlefun and ferguson50. I can't believe that a man would ask for nude photos when you have already stated in your profile that you are just looking to make friends or a have a long term relationship. How do these guys treat other women or their mothers. Sex is beautiful but they think you owe them that and they have not even met you yet.

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  3. Posted: 21 Apr 13

    To be honest there's a lot of women on this site that is nearly taking their clothes off in photos. This sets the tone for how these men relate to all woman. I'm just saying, keep it real and classy. It goes with a "how are you.....can you screw" and that has nothing to do with a relationship.

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  4.   Live2Sing1 says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 13

    Well, I see I'm not the only one! I actually reported a guy 2 weeks ago who was more interested in playing "Mandingo" than getting to know me. I ignored the first few red flags, but when he got angry that I mentioned how much I appreciate Tyler Perry's messages of self-worth and respect to young people, he went off! And, sorry, Mr. subbob, this guy was about 51! Some of the young men (too young) that approached me were much more tasteful and respectful. I have it narrowed down to 1 sweet gentleman right now -- and I will take my time with him before considering opening up my profile again...! PS: Some of the articles published on this site make me wonder what the point really is ... Interracial porn, how we "finish?" Is it necessary?

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  5. Posted: 19 Mar 13

    Beauty - is in the eye of the beholder... what one finds attractive, the next one may not... (we are are the same way) ;-) I say, keep it classy & you will have a little better luck weeding out some of the weirdo's, creepy pic collectors, etc...

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  6.   ferguson50 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 13

    I agree with Candlefun, why do I need to pay my money to be a prostitute or whore. I'm not that desperate. I can have sex any day of the week. Women subscribe to the site to meet a real Guy, instead you get users and freaks. They're don't care about your picture or profile. It's disgusting that men treat women, (the mothers of the earth) like nothing.

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  7.   ShyGirl_Jas says:
    Posted: 04 Mar 13

    Bullcrap. I'll smile and pose however the way I want.

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  8.   queensclub says:
    Posted: 03 Mar 13

    Im going to test this out not put a picture up all all the right reasons !!!!!! but i'm going to but one up and see what happens!!!!!! watch this space lol

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  9.   subbob says:
    Posted: 02 Mar 13

    Candlefun: Did You ever consider that it might have something to do with Your age parameters?.....i didn't marry until 36, as i was too immature and having too much fun in my 20s and 30s.....You might think about changing Your age preference to 40-50 or so, as we all know that men mature much later than females, in the main.....at any rate, good luck in Your search!.....subbob

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  10.   Candlefun says:
    Posted: 01 Mar 13

    I'm sorry I had to comment. I get messages all day long about how much I can't stop looking at your pictures, and no matter how much I write in my profile, men don't read it. Next thing they start asking for nude picutres of u. No matter how much my profile says it, your asking me for nude pictures, your not trying to get to know me. I take more pride that I'm a much more beautiful person on the inside. I'm not gonna lie. I have dealt with and dated white men for a long time, and I thought this would be a good sight to meet some really nice men but actually this is the worse site I have ever been on. Men have no respect for women on here. Seems like they are using it more for a pornsite and to live out their fantasies. I can get screwed any day of the week if that's what I was looking for, anybody can, but I don't need to pay money to meet men to screw me.

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    • 32Bookworm says:
      Posted: 03 Mar 13

      Candlefun, I don't completely agree with all of this advice. Compared to most, I have a EXTREMELY long profile. I am really specific on the traits I look for in a guy. At the end of my profile I say that I do not respond to flirts; I only respond to respectful emails from guys that took the time to read my profile by commenting on it. This statement combined with never responding to flirts has cut down the number of 'sex seekers or wanting fwb' by quite a bit. I've been on this site off and on for a few years now and I admit I've noticed the quality of men (including White) looking to date BW has gone down; while the volume of men has gone dramatically up. I think the recent media blitz of the last few years of 'single, lonely, desperate' BW is a significant factor. Nothing draws the bottom feeding men as the lure of desperate women. It's really a disservice to the White men who are attracted to BW for all the right reasons. For BW to have to sift through increasing numbers of predatory guys it can be discouraging. Either way, I have met some great men on this site; I have had great serious relationships from a few since I've been on here. Since I'm extremely picky, the relationships have not led to marriage, but neither did they end 'badly'. I do wish this site could increase their filtering parameters. I would love to COMPLETELY filter out men from certain countries/continents (Africa, really?), men who state upfront they are married or only want 'friends' and even certain ethnicities. I'm not attracted to Black men, my profile is specific that I only date White and Asian men, and I get annoyed when they leave flirts and messages. I never respond, but it's still annoying. I would love that these types of flirts/messages would not appear in ANY of my inboxes. Hang in there, Candlfun, and continue to be discerning about who you respond to!

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