The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.
24-Year-Old Man Wants Advice on Dating Older Black Women
Got this note recently…
I just wanted to thank you for the Youtube videos that you make. You are so clear and wise about the matters of interracial dating. It’s more about being human than about being black or white, as it should be in my opinion. Before I dated with a black girl I didn’t know how it could ever lead to so many racist and hateful responses from other people. Still I can’t really fathom why some people are so concerned about the race thing. When I came upon all the interracial dating videos on Youtube I realized this still is a big, big issue for a lot of people. It’s shocking to see how much racism is still alive these days. On the other hand it’s very nice to see how a lot of people can look past the irrelevance of race in love.
I had a question and I hope you can sort of help me out with it...I seem to be hugely attracted to black women of older age. The age of 30-50, as I am still 24 years old. The black girls I dated were around my age. Now I was wondering if there are any essential differences between younger and older black women. Do you think they might be openminded about a younger white guy, or do you think it will be somewhat of a taboo?
It might be a little different in The US (I live in The Netherlands), but maybe you can help me out!
Nick!! So glad you followed me from You Tube to the blog, and I have a lot to say about this!
First, kudos to you for going beyond racial and age barriers to look for the lady of your dreams. I like when I get notes from men who like to do their research–it shows that you’re keen on learning enough about the object of your affection in hopes (I’m sure) that you’ll be a good boyfriend. That right there give you like, five cool points.
Your question is an interesting one for a variety of reasons because with a healthy lifestyle and fancy wrinkle cream, it’s hard to know how old people are, and that’s even more pronounced with black women, who tend to age quite gracefully. I’m not sure if you have a preference for older women in general, or if there’s something about a well-seasoned black woman that does it for you, but I’ll do my best to answer your question.
“Now I was wondering if there are any essential differences between younger and older black women.”
Yes there are some essential differences, and I’ll list a few:
–Older black women are going to lean less toward the drama. Chances are a 40-year-old woman isn’t going to show up at your house at midnight demanding you unlock your phone because she thinks you’re texting her best friend.
–She will be wise in the ways of the world, and the ways of love. She’ll know what she wants and how she wants it, and she won’t be afraid to tell you.
–There’s a good chance that she has children. Just something to keep in mind, because if her son is 17 and you’re 24, you might be torn between playing video games with him or going wine tasting with your lady.
–You’ll know where you stand. Older women play a lot less games–they’ve been there and done that and have the t-shirt buried in the back of their closet.
“Do you think they might be open-minded about a younger white guy, or do you think it will be somewhat of a taboo?”
In a word, hell-to-the-yeah there will be be black women willing to play with you, ehr, I mean, date you. The trouble you may run into is how to convince her to take you seriously. Remember, she’s been 25, 26, 27, and so on, so she knows the journey you’re on and she might be a little doubtful about whether or not you’re in it until she’s wearing Depends. And if you’re looking for something long-term and you would like children, I’d stay on the younger end of your age criteria, especially if your girlfriend is over 35 with no prior children.
One thing I do have to address is that black women of previous generations may have a bit more hangups about interracial dating than the fresh crop of black women. So dating you might be a double taboo for them. But if you’re really into her, you’ll have to be persistent and you might need to jump through a few hoops to convince her you’re serious.
Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of "Swirling: How to Date, Mate & Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed." She is also the publisher of popular interracial relationships blog, Beyond Black & White.
White Guys, Be Careful of Whom You Take Advice from on How to Date Black Women!
Christelyn's Exclusive with Sexy Swirling Mom, Garcelle Beauvais!
Eyes Wide Open: Tackling Stares From Outsiders
What's Up With All These Black Men Telling Black Women Nobody Wants Them?
Girl asks, "How can I get my family to accept my black boyfriend?"
Men suck at friendships?
Quirky Girl Seeks Interracial Dating Advice
More Swirling Articles
A Very "Colorful" Interracial Couple Get Candid On How They Met, Breaking the News to Parents
Asian Men and Black Women Give Advice on How to Date Each Other
Hey Ladies, Want to Know How to "Get The Guy?" Matthew Hussey Dishes in His New Book.
Attention Sisters, Do You Know When a Rainbeau is Hitting on You?
How to read people like a book
9 responses to "24-Year-Old Man Wants Advice on Dating Older Black Women"
Leave a reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
It's Like a Forever Sleepover
When she met Graham, Marsha was “smitten from the beginning.” Over time her feelings only grew. Then, in a moment she describes as surreal, he proposed! After meeting on our site, Marsha and Grah...
Your perfect partner could be online right now
"The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience"
Submitted by: Karen, USA, 34
My Dating Coach really took the time to go through my profile thoroughly. First she viewed my pictures and gave me great feedback.
She read through the written portion of my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on how to add my personality to it.
My amazing consultant, even asked how my contacts where going and offered a few suggestions to increase my interactions with new men.
I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments.
I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people which was the whole point of joining the site in the first place.
The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks!
Charisma isn't something you're born with
"How Do I Protect My Girlfriend from Racist Family Members?"
Get The Guy
Why being friends with men only will keep you single
The Art Of Charm
Decoding female hormones
Being the 21st Century Chivalrous Gentleman
The Date Whisperer
- What's Up With All These Black Men Telling Black Women Nobody Wants Them?
- Can a Black Woman Find Love with a Former White Supremacist?
- Yes, Black Women DO Benefit from Interracial Dating and Marriage!
- Video: How to Tell When a 'Rainbeau' is Interested
- Video: Matthew Hussey and Christelyn Tackle a Sticky Relationship Question
- Why are Some Black Women Hating on Michael Ealy's New, Non-Black Wife?
- Question of the Week: "How Do I Approach Black Women?"
- Getting Ready for Your "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" Moment This Thanksgiving?
- Creating An Alluring Online Profile Sure to Turn Some Heads! (For the Ladies)
- Asian Men and Black Women Give Advice on How to Date Each Other