White men are least attracted to Black women?
...gender is one of the determining factors of interracial dating trends. Caucasian females are least likely to date Asian men, whilst white males in the U.S tend to be least attracted to female African American's. - 'Interracial Dating Trends' by Matt Dating
Much as it is just a generalization, most of us do agree that there are very few White women who date Asian men. And when we try finding the reason for this, stereotypes and more stereotypes is all we dig up. But let's look into the Black women White men interracial relationships: is attraction the reason why there are relatively fewer White men dating Black women? Really?
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409 responses to "White men are least attracted to Black women?"
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Ichibod says:Posted: 31 Jan 10
Thank you for your response, Sir? We can agree to disagree about Dr Cosby the educator. He explained Fat Albert as a recollection of his experiences as a child and each character represented many of his friends as well as other children he grew up around. The lessons and morals of the show were not degrading, just ignored as Fat Albert and his friends were never into crime or trouble that was never discourage or corrected. Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier were AGAINST blaxploitation films. Their movies came out at the same time to rival their mass appeal much like the Wayans sought to make a mockery of blaxploitation films (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka) and 'hood' flicks (Don't Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood). It's been said that all this time Bill avoided black issues, now all of a sudden he wants to be black. He didn't avoid the issues. He tried to lead by example. "I Spy" was cancelled after 2 seasons because it showed how a white guy and a black guy could work together fighting crime, but blacks felt it should have shed light on more racial issues of the time. "The Cosby Show" came under scrutiny because how many black doctors with a lawyer for a wife can you find in the black community? As if a show about a family in the ghetto, doing whatever they could to survive without succumbing to the pressures of poverty (Good Times) was ever learned from. Every brother, and white guy, around that time could and probably did do a "JJ" impression, probably Barack Obama too. What women followed Florida's example of scolding their sons whenever JJ talked about "finding things". What black men follwed James' example making sure their daughters were being taken out by decent men with good intentions? Low income, poor, or whatever they're refered to as, do not live in caves. They have access to TVs, music, schools, churches, and the law. Yes, there are plenty of opportunities to succeed. We can't act like we don't have family members, friends, or just people that we went to school with that are completely uninformed about life and it's options, but do not take them. Cosby addressed the families. That's were all of our influence starts. There is no drug dealer on the corner stressing about his family going hungry. I had a friend hustle 17 hrs staight to pay back bail money that someone told him he had 24hrs to raise. He made it with some left over. The amount was more money than I made in a month before taxes. And he wasn't even a big time drug dealer. Pay for classes with your drug earnings, finance a family member to go to school. Fund a predominately black school or housing development. Have you forgot about the recording industry, more speciacally rap and hip-hop? Whatever happened to groups like Public Enemy, BDP, and A Tribe Called Quest? Their messages were presented to people in a manner in which they could have receive it, but it wasn't making as much money or received better than the ganster music, much like the blackploitation films of the 70s. Cosby's movies had positive messages. Much like the Bible, people don't accept it because it often doesn't fit the beliefs that they have before reading it. That's why they form different denominations/sects, adopt another faith, or become atheist when they don't understand or agree with it. Enough of that. Much like New Orleans, the looting in Haiti cannot be completely spoken of as people in search of food. That is completely innaccurate. Epsecially when you specifically mention the type of food that they are willing to kill and maim each other for. Bread and water? Mind you, they do live on an island. It's tropical, not some arrid desert land. People desperately searching for food all of a sudden turn up a whole cache of weapons and start unloading on people who've come to help them. The same thing happened in New Orleans. Aside from that, it's seems just because over 100,000 people have died in Haiti, among the dead were all of the people who have no good intentions or expectations about life, or to not recognize that this country had them already. I'm from New Orleans and I can tell you, the areas where the most looting was said to have occured, NO! They were just straight looting. As for Pat Robertson, I won't speak on him. Today's sermon at church was about Haiti and the earth under Adam's curse. And the earth itself has it's own issues to deal with from the begining of time just as man does. And for the record, there was in fact a pact made with the devil centuries ago in Haiti, but that has little to nothing to do with natural disasters. In regard to taking the Bible literally, I will say this. It's truth must be "rightly divided" and not "handled deceitfully". There are many interpretations, however only one intention. I like women period. I'm not on the fence and don't have to be. I like attractive females, but that's the key. Everyone has their own attractions and different reasons for them. If it oozes estrogen, it's worth checking out to me. I'm not trying to please black female readers. I like letting readers know what is on my mind. And some of them happen to like what is on my mind. Not all of them do, you know that. Bigeyes and Tatted are not under my control and neither am I trying nor have ever tried to control them. At times I thought some of the things your were saying regarding Azrazyel, Bigeyes, and Tatts were kind of funny, but I noticed how Tatts avoided direct communication with them both just as she said she had been, and for the reasons she mentioned. It did indeed appear that tht whole ordeal was under a puppet master's orchestration, that being you, and then they started fighting like a couple of little girls. I have my opinions about that whole thing. I wasn't taking sides, but I know who I feel came out the 'warrior' and who came out the 'woman'. I was deeply saddened. I have no problem with your preference for black women only. My brother, and I'm sure many other men in my family, feel the same. My mom told me about when she and my dad started dating, she called my dad's house. My uncle answered the phone and then went running through the house laughing about how my dad was talking to a white girl. Well, that's just how she talks, but she wasn't white. So much for my uncle making fun of my dad, cause his daughters (my cousins) both have white husbands now. Me personally, I couldn't care less. It's all pink on the inside and my walk in Christ has allowed me to see people's spirits over the last few years. It's hard to explain, but I have a different and greater appreciation, care, and concern for human beings now. However, thick girls are okay. I have limits and exceptions. And as far as butts, it's about the shape, not so much the size. I'm also a breast man. Anyway, I'm glad we had this talk. Until next time, Peace be unto you!
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Member says:Posted: 31 Jan 10
(Looking at the last paragraph) You "sweet on" Big eyes? What seed I planted? (I have to put my drink down) You said this "Here’s where I will end this and I saw this coming a long time ago and was hoping it wouldn’t have come to this, but I had been watching the seed you had planted between Bigeyes and Tatted. Now, it finally came to a head which is why I had beseeched them both subtly to stop it. I also asked you TWICE to stick to what you do best, as religion and faith are obviously not your bag. You stated before that you don’t argue with men. Keep believing in that. Put your faith and beliefs where your mouth is and stay away from me. I backed you againgst that PhDee prick many months ago, but let me assure you I am a totally different game than that ‘he-she’. If you haven’t been living under a rock, people have been waiting for you and me for a long time and I have no plans to oblige them." Who is PhDee? The one that went on a date with a married white man "twice". She washed up. Now your a conspiracy theorist. I made Tatt not like your girl "Big eyes". You playing games man. The real story is AZ ain't wanna mess with Tatt. Tatt said she "turned him down". Az hollered at "Big eyes", flirt,whatever it was. Tatt never says anything to Big eyes since. It's no secret. Now it's my fault. We can get it going immediately. I am tired of you getting sweet on chicks and then want to get tough! Some people ask me why am I here? I am here to change the lives of black women for the better. http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
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Member says:Posted: 31 Jan 10
Dear Ich Bill Cosby is your hero. He is not my hero. Simply for this reason, he contributed to the degrading of black people with Fat Albert. He did the black exploitation films. He landed the Bill Cosby show after the first "pilot" failed. The Bill Cosby show is his title to fame. The Negro ain't saying nothing until 2008 0r 2009, when things went from bad to worse. He was to busy with his various mistresses. I can't go toe to toe with you concerning scripture. Scripture can be interpreted so many ways. Now if we was to apply scripture in the present. You say you are a christian, as I am. Pat Robertson said Haiti is "cursed". I can't remember what scripture he used. But he said that. My premise is would it better for France to "colonize the Haitians". Basically what Pat is saying 'well if you let us control you", you wouldn't be in this mess now. My question is how do you explain this contradiction? Do you take what the bible says "literally"? As for black people doing criminality to one another, I agree with you. But let's look at the Haiti situation or even Katrina. People were looting and maiming each other for a piece of bread or some water. Put yourself in that position and try to understand why people do what they do. Your sympathy is towards Haiti, for what reason? The people are committing crimes to survive. Why wouldn't that be the same in Black America? Your going to say "oh you have plenty of opportunities" to succeed. If people don't realize that, in particular young black people. They will continue to take the risks to commit crimes. "Then you tell Fire, “Me personally, I have always been with darker women. I got no fetishes or preferences”, “My preference a “thicker” woman with thighs and a big butt. Skin color doesn’t matter to me” and “You go were you are accepted.” You are against interracial dating aren’t you? Explain that preference please. I’m willing to give you the benefit of a doubt, brother. Are you sure you know exactly who you were typing that last post to?" I addressed a female commentator. I should have clarified that. Does not matter what shade of color a black woman is. Light skin, brown skin or dark skin. Listen, I don't dodge anybody. You like white women or do you like black women? I am giving you the benefit of the doubt. I think you want to please some of the black female readers. Stop sitting on the fence. Oh yea, you don't control Big eyes and Tatt. I am firmly for black women having loving relationships with black men. I won't go any further. I don't have any "personal" relationships with black women here. We can debate or whatever. They know what I am about. Good day.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 31 Jan 10
Laurelton, I am having a hard time understanding what you are saying. The first of which is: "How about you put your bible down and tell the truth." When we as Christians (Psalms 119:128) "... esteem all your precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way", (2 Timtohy 2:15) "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth", and (2 Corinthians 4:2) "But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, NOR HANDLING THE WORD OF GOD DECEITFULLY; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God." After the earlier discussion in that other thread, I'm having a hard time understanding why and how YOU are calling yourself a Christian, which explains how I answered WG's question. Society or the world does not dictate the Word of God. Everyone's different perceptions and interpretations cannot change God's one and only infallible truth. It's like placing an apple seed in the ground. A man comes and says, "I'm from Georgia, so I reckon that seed gonna to grow into to a nice peach tree". Another man comes and says, "I think it's going to sprout a watermelon vine, cause you know black people love some watermelon." Lastly, another guy goes, "Dude, just let me know when it buds. Call me at 4:15 and I'll be there in 5." Doesn't change the fact that the seed was a APPLE seed. We ALL fall short of God's glory and require forgiveness. As if there are no blacks that don't like or accept whites, hispanics, even Africans and other black Americans. Oohh, it's a tragedy whites wouldn't let blacks in the churches, schools, or own land, but blacks killing each other, selling poison to one another, and disrespecting each other on a blog or otherwise fall under the radar. I study history, how about YOU stop ignoring the PRESENT. I've this before and I'll say it again. "Bill Cosby is a hero of mine! Ephesians 6:12 says, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." The seeds of prejudice, hate, hypocracy, lust, idolatry, and deceit lie all around us and can manifest themselves in all people in the same manner and have throughout history. Just what does one consider history? A mere chapter in a book, or that and the events of yesterday, last week, and a year ago? Then you tell Fire, "Me personally, I have always been with darker women. I got no fetishes or preferences", "My preference a “thicker” woman with thighs and a big butt. Skin color doesn’t matter to me" and "You go were you are accepted." You are against interracial dating aren't you? Explain that preference please. I'm willing to give you the benefit of a doubt, brother. Are you sure you know exactly who you were typing that last post to? Here's where I will end this and I saw this coming a long time ago and was hoping it wouldn't have come to this, but I had been watching the seed you had planted between Bigeyes and Tatted. Now, it finally came to a head which is why I had beseeched them both subtly to stop it. I also asked you TWICE to stick to what you do best, as religion and faith are obviously not your bag. You stated before that you don't argue with men. Keep believing in that. Put your faith and beliefs where your mouth is and stay away from me. I backed you againgst that PhDee prick many months ago, but let me assure you I am a totally different game than that 'he-she'. If you haven't been living under a rock, people have been waiting for you and me for a long time and I have no plans to oblige them. Again, I am a given you the benefit of a doubt that you did not intend that last post for me. Be WISE and be blessed, brother!
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Member says:Posted: 31 Jan 10
(Man stepping in between Ich and Wg110212) What Christianity got to do with dating "different races of women". Even the bible mentions "heathen women". That can be interpreted in different ways. Since society is clearly favors "white people", heathen women were always attributed to the darker skin races like Hispanic, Arabian and black women. White Supremacists in the South never started letting black people go to their church until a couple decades ago. Come to think of it, they sure didn't tolerate black women with white men. Your reading scripture and "ignoring" history as most white people do. I got nothing against white folks but lets get the facts straight here. If anybody should ask for forgiveness is those white churches that didn't accept black people. Churches continue to be self segregated to this day. Black churches welcome white folks so what is the problem? NOW you got a fetish for black women and want " to hold hands with ALL black people. Yea right, just that black woman you have a fetish with. You rather avoid her extended family like the plague. How about you put your bible down and tell the truth. A majority of black women you would never be with BECAUSE they are, either, overweight, uneducated or "under educated", have to many kids, or live in a rough part of the black community due to the recession. But your so benevolent to explain scripture and select the "best looking black women" for your enjoyment with NO intention of marrying them. That is so nice of you. It's similar to tying up your dog in the house, giving the dog water, food and shelter but never taking the dog outside. You ever did that to my daughter. I would rather die with a BIG GUN! You are getting over on those weak minded desperate sellout black women. But I see what you are doing. I am gone.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 30 Jan 10
Wg110212, This is a public blog and all visitors are welcome. It's obvious you are a visitor and have no idea who I am and what I stand for by your question, "Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?" Who I am, apart from being 'Ichibod', is irrelevant as no one here who knows Ichibod actually knows who Ichibod is outside of this blog, just as I know Julius26 by web handle only. The motto, creed, purpose, or tagline of this site reads, "Where it's OK the color outside the lines...". Advising a person to stand by their preferences sounds a lot better than, "black, stay white; white, stay black" considering their ARE other races, on this site and in the world. "The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race?" Many people who come to this site join as basic or premium members, most with various levels of interracial dating experience and/or curiosities behind. But you, just as many others that have merely COME to this DATING site are not members, only bloggers. Which brings to question, how did you find this site? Being already MARRIED to a white man and finding a DATING site, not to mention an INTERRACIAL dating site would make one wonder if there may be insecurities or shame that would lead you to a Google, Yahoo, or BING search engine to see what others have to say about interracial relationships as though you haven't move on with your own life's preferences, choices, decisions, gifts and blessings. Not to mention, what brought you to "White men are least attracted to Black women?" and not comment on the topic at hand. I've only seen one person speak of their interracial relationship and actually invite their loved one to participate in discussions on this site's blogs. They both are very well known and respected in these threads now. "I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage..." So, is that why you're REALLY here? Viewing this site as some support group therapy session under the guise of encouraging it's members when they could just as easily signed up with Match.com or eHarmony if interracial dating wasn't already their option or preference. Let me show you something, WG. "I can tell you this gentlemen (ma'am), from a woman’s (man's) perspective, we can see a nice looking guy (lady) and maybe even approach him (her), but the turn off is when he (she) opens his (her) mouth and says something stupid or insulting." No real point to that. I just did it for fun. Much of the problem that Julius26 and I have with your statement is that previous comments much like it insinuate a limited or narrow scope regarding race relations in many areas of life up to and including dating. Especially as black people, seeing many interracial relationships between black women and white men develope out of superficial reasons has become an epidemic and an extremely sensative topic of debate in these blogs. I am a Christian, also. And reading a comment by someone who professes themself as a Christian, knowing the life of Christ and the mind of God trandscends such unimaginative reasoning, just didn't sit well with me. Maybe 'stupidity' was a little harsh, and I apologize. Sorry, I'm not a Donnie Mcclurkin fan. There is no need to paraphrase Proverbs 18:22, I understand that perfectly. It just doesn't support any intention you claimed by your post except your own selfrighteous belief that your husband found "a good thing". And maybe he did. To each his/her own. And lastly, to further answer your question: "Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?" As a Christian, yes I do. What Christian doesn't have a problem with other Christians. I apologize for not citing the scriptures and examples to expound on that answer, but you should already know. I've already typed more than I wanted to. Goodbye!
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Wg110212 says:Posted: 30 Jan 10
Julius26 and Ichibod Why the harsh words gentlemen? “God blessed you with a white man, but not with brains?” First, my IQ is 146, but that has nothing to do with my comment. Second, because this is a site for those in or seeking to date outside of their race, it would not stop white men and black women from being born. The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race? My comment is what it is and I stand by what I said. It was not stupid, Ichibod, YOU just did not understand it. So, say that you did not understand it and ask for an explaination. One of the reasons that people in general have such a hard time finding the “right one” is not being able to communicate effectively. Yes, that’s right, it is not just about communicating, but communicating effectively. Again, I did not realize that I needed to explain to individuals that are looking for relationships with those of another race on a website for interacial dating/couples, about staying with their chosen preference. That is why I made the comment, “Women of color, stay white and white men stay black.” The comment has nothing to do with the humanrace as a whole, but those that are looking/dating individuals of another race. The comment was meant to encourage people to stick with their choice. I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage, but it is just like any other relationship. It takes work to make it work. Granted everyone that comes to this site speaks their mind; however, why not just ask for an explanation instead of being insulting. I can tell you this gentlemen, from a woman’s perspective, we can see a nice looking guy and maybe even approach him, but the turn off is when he opens his mouth and says something stupid or insulting. Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians? “Thank you, Julius. You just saved me a page worth of typing with that. Her following the title “Christian” with that line of stupidity had me perplexed for a second.” What is the deal? Being a Christian means that I have the ability to go boldly before the throne of God and ask for forgiveness. There was a popular song a few years ago titled, “We fall down, but we get up.” That is the life of a Christian. We strive to do what the Bible instructs us to do, but we are human and make mistakes. We just have the ability to ask for forgiveness from God. If you are not a Christian, then you will never understand what I just said, thus don’t strain your brain. Perhaps it was the scripture that I quoted, ” He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” -Proverbs 18:22 New American Standard. I apologize for not citing the scripture and paraphrasing it. However, as I was reading various comments, I find many are looking for encouragement as well as advice. I wanted to give encouragement to those that are tired and asking themselves, “Will I ever find her or him?” Yes you will, in time!
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Member says:Posted: 30 Jan 10
Why the harsh words gentlemen? "God blessed you with a white man, but not with brains?" First, my IQ is 146, but that has nothing to do with my comment. Second, because this is a site for those in or seeking to date outside of their race, it would not stop white men and black women from being born. The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race? My comment is what it is and I stand by what I said. It was not stupid, Ichibod, YOU just did not understand it. So, say that you did not understand it and ask for an explaination. One of the reasons that people in general have such a hard time finding the "right one" is not being able to communicate effectively. Yes, that's right, it is not just about communicating, but communicating effectively. Again, I did not realize that I needed to explain to individuals that are looking for relationships with those of another race on a website for interacial dating/couples, about staying with their chosen preference. That is why I made the comment, "Women of color, stay white and white men stay black." The comment has nothing to do with the humanrace as a whole, but those that are looking/dating individuals of another race. The comment was meant to encourage people to stick with their choice. I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage, but it is just like any other relationship. It takes work to make it work. Granted everyone that comes to this site speaks their mind; however, why not just ask for an explanation instead of being insulting. I can tell you this gentlemen, from a woman's perspective, we can see a nice looking guy and maybe even approach him, but the turn off is when he opens his mouth and says something stupid or insulting. Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians? "Thank you, Julius. You just saved me a page worth of typing with that. Her following the title “Christian” with that line of stupidity had me perplexed for a second." What is the deal? Being a Christian means that I have the ability to go boldly before the throne of God and ask for forgiveness. There was a popular song a few years ago titled, "We fall down, but we get up." That is the life of a Christian. We strive to do what the Bible instructs us to do, but we are human and make mistakes. We just have the ability to ask for forgiveness from God. If you are not a Christian, then you will never understand what I just said, thus don't strain your brain. Perhaps it was the scripture that I quoted, " He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." -Proverbs 18:22 New American Standard. I apologize for not citing the scripture and paraphrasing it. However, as I was reading various comments, I find many are looking for encouragement as well as advice. I wanted to give encouragement to those that are tired and asking themselves, "Will I ever find her or him?" Yes you will, in time!
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Ichibod says:Posted: 30 Jan 10
Thank you, Julius. You just saved me a page worth of typing with that. Her following the title "Christian" with that line of stupidity had me perplexed for a second.
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julius26 says:Posted: 30 Jan 10
Dear Wg 110212 if people do what you recommend, that is Women of colour, stay white and white men stay black, then there will be no more white men or black women being born. God blessed you with a white man but not with brains.
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Wg110212 says:Posted: 29 Jan 10
As I was reading the responses, many of you have some very valid points and some of you are insecure or as some have said afraid. I am a 40-year old black woman married to a 42-year old white man and believe me when I tell you he is all man. My "buns" as I call him because he has a nice butt, I know TMI, is from the old school. He opens doors, and gives gifts just because. If you all could see peoples expressions when he reaches his hand towards me to help me in and out of the car. We get a good laugh at the looks that we receive. Because almost everyone here does not have an issue with skin color, I say this to you all; do not stop looking gentlemen. I say gentlemen because I too am a Christian and it is true, "A man that finds a wife finds a good thing and she is a blessing from the Lord." Women of color, stay white and white men stay black.
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GodzSpecialDaughter says:Posted: 07 Jan 10
Whoa so much said and so much to say. I think race should be the LAST thing you look at in a relationship. I live in a city with mostly haspanics and asians. Though you do see alot of black people and some white people. My city is filled with different races and I just love seeing it. People happy together no matter what. My boyfriend is white and I'm black and I really love him. It's pretty normal to see different races where I come from. I'm just so suprised to see all of these comments. Some of them making a big thing out of nothing. I just stumble across this website and never expected to see this. When I seen the image I thought "Aww they look so cute". You have to admit they do look great together even though it's just a picture. Both of their skin looks great and they're both gorgous. "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Brown,and yellow,black,and white. Days of precious many sights. Jesus loves the little children of the world." Thats all I had to say. My name is Alazia and I'm Christian. God bless
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Member says:Posted: 17 Dec 09
There is a very real need to not have endlees words rather than works,here to blacks with blue eyes ,blonde hair 50 eye colours ,60 hair colours,why should awhite man give up ever thing he is ,yet a black gives up very little,this is noy equity this is being a white male slave to black women,GENETIC ENGINEERING IS THE FUTURE OF RACE RELATIONS
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Member says:Posted: 15 Dec 09
I would have to agree with Timotheus that there are just as many beautiful African-American women as there are white women. However I find myself attracted to white or other races of women in ways that other races don't get it as well. I think it is starting to show an increase of the number of white males who are really into black women. As for Maggie who made an earlier comment on the reason why black men date outside of their race there is a lot of truth to that statement but the same holds true for anyone as well. To get RESPECT you must also give RESPECT and I think that is where many (not all of them) black male/female relationships can fall apart. My attraction to white or non-black women is merely a matter of personal choice and not based on the stereotypes or prejudices at all. As for me opposites attract and I cannot speak for all black men on here, but it seems to be with me a definite factor in interracial relationships. It doesn't bother me to see a black women with a white man or a white woman with a non-black man, to each their own.
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Timotheus says:Posted: 11 Dec 09
Interesting... perhaps statistically white males are least attracted to black females... I don't know... I haven't seen enough data to know one way or the other. However, I'm as Caucasian as you can get... English/Scottish and blue blood no less. The most beautiful women I've ever met were African American and I find them quite attractive in ways that other races just don't stir me. The most beautiful of those I've known have all the attributes of how I envision our mother, Eve... the perfect women. She embodies all those things that Solomon wrote in his Song of Songs. She is the Shulamite. Well anyway, I happened upon your forum by accident searching for one of my old posts in a music forum, and just had to chime in. Cheers
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Africa says:Posted: 10 Dec 09
This isn't about you Ryan its about how white women are looked at and yes my boyfriend is Black...they are so quick to just us and oh my god they don't even know us. I'm not from the ghetto and I don't choose to go there, but yea the mall maybe. Bitches are haters. I'm just me and that's that.
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RYAN says:Posted: 10 Dec 09i didn't even know that some whites use the word "ghetto" in a derogatory way. i dont think any less of people of any race that are poor, or have a ghetto swagger or attitude, regardless of their income.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 06 Dec 09
Hey Ichibod I didn't eat much Thanksgiving food THIS year,LOL. I can only eat so much of it before I get tired of it, too rich. I personally don't eat chitterlings but my mom DID cook some, LOL. I hope your holiday was great. My great-grandmother who was one hundred years in March of last year is a living breathing reminder of the freedoms I have. She encourages me to be proud and protective of the freedoms that she marched in the actual civil rights march to gain for me. With that I believe ,along with all black people, that we have a right to boast about freedoms that we enjoy, after all,whites are still enjoying and boasting of the benefits of their forefathers. The worst thing we can do as black people in this country is start believing that we don't have to still press to maintain the freedoms we do have. With all the success, degrees and jobs that black men and women have in this country, they will tell you that everyday they have to press to be respected,to get their voices heard and be treated eaually on those very jobs. And if they voice any unhappiness about it, they are termed "ghetto" or "angry". So, I still say whites use these as a blanket term because they are not readily able to use the N word socially. I feel that is a duty to boast about what my forefathers suffered to get for me. Well, Ichibod I have always read your posts. You are quite intelligent! You know I know how long it takes,LOL LOL. Hot sauce or mustard? LOL LOL
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Ichibod says:Posted: 06 Dec 09
Hey, Bigeyes! How was your turkey, ham, and chittlin' fixins? Speaking of "soul food", and yes chitterlings are delicious, that stuff is bad for us, and in this day and time, not our only source or option for nutrition. Eat in moderation is what any doctor will tell you, if at all. I remember an episode of "Good Times" where JJ and Thelma tried to get Florida to understand that when James's cholesterol level was high. What parents fail to instill in children comes from either being stupid and uncaring or having the lack of knowledge and access to information, which even after 5 or more generations still carry over from slavery. This includes eating, studying, and social habits. Why ARE some black people so loud? Go to the projects and see how many "outspoken" people are actually saying anything relevant. Most terms that are used by whites were heard by blacks first. A black person was the one who referred to poor living conditions of blacks in the US as "ghetto" around the time of the holocaust in order prevent attention from being diverted to problems overseas when problems existed here at home. I'm sure no Jews were throwing up their ghettos with as much pride and fervor as some blacks do. There are certain ideologies that should be challenged, however many people can't seem to differentiate which are white and which are merely right, which in turn has them challenging everything, hence sounding foolish and making a name for themselves. Believe me, I know exactly how to pronounce the "er" when using that one word to describe a black person who should just keep their mouth shut. And I don't mean it in a nice way or to help a person survive whenever I do. Bill Cosby questioned blacks who call intelligent blacks "white". Remember what all Denzel's character was saying in the movie "Glory"? Many blacks today share those same sentiments about achieving blacks. Nothing endearing about that. Except for what Morgan Freeman's character had to say as a response. "The only nigger here is YOU!" I don't blame a person for not seeing the importance of getting an education, however I know better. W.E.B DuBois had many degrees but still couldn't get a job. So he saw no other option but to press. Booker T Washington was striving for equality even if it had to be seperate so we could do our own thing agriculturally, academically, industrially, and financialy. A man who evidently saw that there WERE other options. That's why they didn't like each other. DuBois felt that Washington was soft for not forcing whites to accept us, whereas Washington received millions from wealthy whites to build schools seeing as though he was even willing to say "screw the right to vote" if necessary in order for us to be left alone to grow by ourselves. It's all in the past now and I appreciate whatever anyone has done for us to live as we can and do today. I, for one, am still a Booker T visionary. I choose not to press any white person, or anyone else for that matter, for anything accept any respect I am due, not deserve (people love to go on about what they think they deserve or are entitled to). Seeing that it is almost 2010, it's kind of late to boast freedoms I didn't have to suffer for, but yet and still, proper responses are based on convictions rather than circumstances. Allowing certain situiations rather than morals determine actions show a lack of integerity. "A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways". I enjoyed reading your post as always, Natalie. We are just going to have to agree to disagree on this issue. You now have me wanting to set some time aside to clean some chitterlings. And you know how much time that takes. See ya!
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 06 Dec 09
@Moondoggie If blacks would have stopped pressing we wouldn't have the freedoms we have today. If we had stopped pressing, whites would still be using the N word as freely as they had in the past. If we stopped pressing we would not be able to equally obtain an education. So no, letting it go is not an option for most blacks. We are still pressing to survive and prosper above poverty,drugs, violence and pressing to keep our voice as a people powerful. Thank you for the compliment Peace
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 06 Dec 09
Ichibod I have to disagree with endearing certain terms and practicing as the worst idea ever. Endearing certain terms was a matter of survival. In the days of slavery, slave owners would feed the slaves the worst leftovers after slaughtering a hog. The slave took what was meant to be derogatory and made a delacacy from it. I speak of a traditional food called chitterlings. Now, not every black person eats them but they are apart of many black families' tradition, served at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Whites especially southern whites now enjoy this delacacy. "Pot liquor", the stock that was left from boiling the vegetables, namely collard greens was also fed to the slaves as the leftovers the slave owners didn't want, but this is where all the vitamins and minerals were. So, just like the N word, down throughout history, the practice of endearing certain things that were meant to hurt as a survival mechanism, has just passed down generation after generation. It's called taking a bad situation and making it work for you. The drop out rate has to do with parents not instilling the value of education in their children and allowing outside influences to rear their children and nothing more. It's about character and point of view. Using these terms are a private matter and when used by other races, in my opinion, have a different connotation. Certain characteristics of behavior and speech that are described as common to most people who live or have been reared in the ghetto seem to be attributed to EVERY black person who is outspoken or challenges white ideology. It is this lumping by whites of all blacks who even open their mouths in any protest that I find offensive and racist. Peace
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Ichibod says:Posted: 06 Dec 09
The word "ghetto" is used to describe specific living conditions originally derived from the place where Jews where housed during the holocaust. The term was then used to described living conditions of poor and low income blacks. However, I don't care who uses the word. I just wish blacks would stop using it to describe everything that we do. As soon as a black person gets some money, they start calling it "ghetto fabulous"? People who never lived in the projects are using this crap to label themselves, even after they move out of their regular hood which probably wasn't even "ghetto". Endearing negativity is the worst idea ever. Would you say endering the negative labels given to us is similar to why the highschool drop out rate amongst blacks is so high seeing as it was illegal for slaves owners to teach slaves how to read and write and punishable by death if a slave were ever to learn? Or because slave women gave birth to many children by different men and slave men fathered many children by different women for breeding purposes is why black single parent households should be acceptable to this day? See how crazy that sounds. Sure, I use the 'N' word, and I even joke about white people from time to time with my close friends (most of whom are white) and family, but not all out in the open. Trying to use a word as a term of endearment means that it's personal. And like most personal things, they are kept in private, simliar to an inside joke, something that no one understands but the parties involved. Like I heard this girl tell me back in high school, "Keep the flavor with the flavor". Dr Poussaint said, the same word blacks use as a term of endearment, is the same word they use when their killing each other. Let's get real. The only traditions derived from negativity that I openly hold true to is Thanksgiving and Christmas. Because the reason for those now are undeniable and far from the purpose of their original practices. And those are words I'm happy to hear anyone use. Happy holidays, folks!
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MOONDOGGIE says:Posted: 05 Dec 09
Yes the word ghetto,should be removed.But the more u press,the more it will be used,so let it go it will vanish like everything eles.But then again,it will be something eles,and so,so.I wish u would not judge me,i'm not RACIST.Idon't speak to u that way,if i did i'm sorry.I'm just trying to gain ur respect on this matter that's all. U have to remember that all people are not up to ur level,just don't know anybetter.MOST people say things they don't mean,but yet the hurt still remains,and the healing takes for ever.p.s ur a nice looking lady.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 04 Dec 09
@Moondoggie Your attempt at being an armchair psychologist/psychaitrist is laughable at best. You start your point off with an accusation about how the "blame" rest with black people and then become the TYPICAL white racist who swears he isn't,LOL. This is WHY you can give an "armchair" diagnosis of how I feel about myself. LOL. I think you need to write your FIRST prescription to yourself. I STILL stand by what I said before, whites should not be allowed to use the term "ghetto" because it used as "safe" racist word. We have taken derogatory terms that "you" have given us and tried to take some of the sting out of it by endearing it the best we could. "YOU" might have a black girlfriend but you DON'T know anything about black people,LOL. Peace(but I won't be stopped)
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MOONDOGGIE says:Posted: 04 Dec 09
I see some of u just don't like white people,why?BECAUSE U R NOT HAPPY WITH ur LIFE.U used the N word,or white trash,we don't call each other white trash,like u call each other nigger.Why is that? Do we have something u want?I just wish u could try to have a better outlook on things,stop living in the past,this is 2010.Befor u judge a race,take sometime to look at ur selfe,and say,is this the real me.Stop taking note of what other people say.My girlfriend is black,real black,we don't talk like that .Maybe u should try to get some class,and control what u say.THAT'S A REAL LADY AND A BEAUTIFUL ONE AT THAT,AND TRY TO LOVE EVERYBODY.U will fell much better about ur self ,BIGEYES.
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Member says:Posted: 28 Nov 09
Hi people, it's Thanksgiving Day! I'm happy with my extra day off, and I am planning to make something fun that'll probably involve a moto trip and seeing something new in Pulaski I haven't seen yet. You write something new at Thanksgiving?
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 20 Nov 09
Comment by bigeyes31 on 19 November 2009: @Redeyes Hey, you are on roll! LOL. I personally think we should bar whites from that term. They use it to substitute for the N word. They label ALL blacks who are the least bit verbal or outspoken as ghetto. I think they fling that term around too loosely for my taste." Yep white men love to call us ghetto but they don't mind going overseas and marrying the poor white trash from eastern europe.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 19 Nov 09@Redeyes Hey, you are on roll! LOL. I personally think we should bar whites from that term. They use it to substitute for the N word. They label ALL blacks who are the least bit verbal or outspoken as ghetto. I think they fling that term around too loosely for my taste.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
And the "Ghetto" stereotype is getting old. Don't see why white people keep saying blacks are ghetto and that's why they don't like them, when white men pay big money to pick up the first poor white woman they can find in Eastern Europe. They don't like ghetto women? Oh is that why white men flock to The Ukraine Russia and Srbija every year to marry some poor white lady living in a wasteland? (Unless you live in a rich area its ghetto over there.) Lets get real, white people think poverty is ok as long as its white people in the poor area. But if you are black and living in a poor area then white people label you as being "ghetto." If you are white and from a poor area then white people butter you up and call you "simple" and "humble" and "down to earth." Whites can throw as many stereotypes they like my way but the largest ghetto in the world belongs to Russia, white people, go see for yourself.
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dezme says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
Hey Mixi, I guess you did not understand what I text the first time. It has nonthing to do with skin complexion, but the way you carry your self . PS not that many black men date outside of race because white is right, just because they want something different! But you are right to, white men do love feminie women, thats probabley why they go with asian women. Does that mean that Asian are better than whites? No race is better than another, but it means they like them due to feminity and difference. Also, lets stop giving sexy black women evil looks when you see her with a fineeeee asss white boy, who is not ghetto. And when she looks better than you and your boy friend is staring at her dont get mad. To them vagina has no color, just the sterotypes that make them cautious! Not saying that you do that, but there are allot of hypocrites out there. Interracial dating is coo its something different.
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turnaround27 says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
NO, attraction has nothing to do with why fewer White men date Black women. Genetically speaking, "attaction" is what allows our species to continue.....that said, it would be like an oximoron. ( I know, I didnt spell that right...lol) AND, even if a White man "felt" attracted to a Black women I believe he would be the least likely to respond to it ( like , try to get her number, go on a date, etc....).I think for white men, their ego and pride even today wont let them.....please know I am NOT talking about the exceptions here. THere are exceptions to EVERY rule ,as proved here, this site for those who color out of the box....BUT I think DEEP in a White man's head , even today, he still feels like Black people are subservient ...It'll take another 100 years before the gene pool is diluted enough for it not to matter any more..... Peace.....
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EuroSWM4SBF says:Posted: 18 Nov 09
Hi I am new to the site and didn't apparently get the memo I am not supposed find black women attractive....sighhhhh. But seriously depending on where you live and such determine your available "IR" dating pool. Try being a whitish guy in San Antonio, TX who only dates black women....talk about a challenge compared to say VA or CA. I have a simple philosophy which goes as follows: I think black women are the most attractive women on the planet (the attitude helps) so why should I not date the most attractive women on the planet? Why should I care how many young black men and old white couples stare? LOL
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Triccinicci says:Posted: 09 Nov 09Mixi, I soooooo get your name! It's a shortened moniker for "mixed up". It truly should be "Igni". Short for 'ignorant'. Of course, you know I state that in the sweetest and gentlest manner possible. I myself am of African decent and realize the "DEAFENING" ignorance that is louder than any voice could gain decibled volume in creating such putridity falling from your brain. My, my, my what books have you read and how large is your world? One or two streets down from K-Mart? Must you really watch that much television? Don't you think all those stereotypes are distorting your thinking? From the perception of your writing, you'd think non-African's were angels falling from heaven with hefty bank accounts and maids made in position of those you feel beneath you. It really bothers intelligent, disciplined people when bombastic, persons of vast ineptitude prevents simple, ordinary folk from co-relating with others in fairness. You are such a person. Exclusive of what you think humanity should accept and not inclusive to what and who humanity actually encompasses. I mean what must those women you are refering to think about your inability to see yourself as a person? I'm sure they must be simply trying to 'scream' logic into your head about such noble concepts as 'fairness' and 'equality'. Come on Mixi, mix it up a bit! You be you and don't worry or try to strong herd the rest! My suggestion would be to move into a neighborhood where the neighbors aren't so culturally spun, loud, or aggressive. Obviously you living there doesn't "help" the neighborhood to "come up". So come on, what do you really expect? Now if you are thinking about moving out of the neighborhood where you have exclusive contact and observation enough to sound off on "matters-of-fact", I suggest as well, you don't trade 'up' for the trailer park, where mainly hard working white folks are being perturbed by lack of work (a good address can make a difference)- oh hell - forget the breakdown as you've not much sense to understand anyway. The point being, there is a consequence and direct comparison of loud, disruptive, obnoxious behavior in any environment where stress factors are heightened...For all we know you may be the loud, obnoxious, scene creating type since that's all you've written to intimately about. Why tell on yourself?
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mixi says:Posted: 08 Nov 09
It's a matter of fact that most african american women tend to be a little on the bombastic "LOUD" end of the spectrum. They're "ready-to-blow-up-any-second" attitude is just a turnoff to many caucasian men who prefer more feminine attributes. African american women also tend to create scenes everywhere they go for no apparent reason other than to get some need attention (probably attention they're missing in their love life or bedroom life). But that still does not explain why white caucasian women would die for a black man. Most of the mixed encounters I've noticed are between a african-american male and a white caucasian female. Maybe black men prefer the color of white women in bed ;).
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dezme says:Posted: 02 Nov 09
The young generation does not care about this crap, so it baffles me as to why you all still talk about it! Most white guys like polished, classy, sexy,real hair that flows or not too afro sentric, or weave that looks natural, an hour glass shape, not obease girls that say they are thick and natural look in black women! I would consider myself polished;what racist old ppl consider and oreo! The loud ghettoness is a turn off to everyone and start approaching guys, have fun and stop caring about what race thinks your hot! If your hot your hot! Oh ex of polished women for those who dont know: Keri Hilson, Stacy Dash, Niami Cambell, Jayde Nicole,they are polished and you can be too(dont have to be a celebrity to look good) high quality black women
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MOONDOGGIE says:Posted: 01 Nov 09
I MUST SAY I LIKE BLACK LADIES.BEEN WITH ONE FOR 5 YEARS NOW.NO regret just love for each other.We dont see color like most people do.I'm white ,left my wife for her,and my family,have no kids.ALL i have is her.NO one can tell us were wrong.Sure people talk and stare.I like it.Because we did what they would like to do,but can'T. WHY the way people look at them and talk.She is my sweets and i'M HER BABY,WE OUR VERY HAPPY WITH OUR LIFE. WE have black AND white FRIENDS.And others,so whats the big deal here,tell me.
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TricciNicci says:Posted: 29 Oct 09
Sure Tatted, you're not to far behind the postings from yesterday and today. Hope you got to read some of them over there in the blog everyone seems to be following closely these days, lol! I wrote a few, Az had some great, deeply pondering ones I've gone back and reread. Dee did her thing very nicely and Sara gave us her blessing. There were a few more like the sampling we got from SEwilde. Great stuff so check it out if you haven't already. I love poetry and your writing abilities suggest you may have laid down a few verses, lol...still only if you want to share. I understand.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 29 Oct 09Thanks for the invite, Tricci...I'll have to give that a thought. Peace
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TricciNicci says:Posted: 27 Oct 09
Hello Tatted, And I yours. You make me laugh and have such fluency with words and descriptives. I just picked up on your use of the word pertaining to the conversation. I think it was a good view of the point to explore. I have a poem I plan to present at Poetry Night later on tonight I think you may relate to. Won't you join us? I know you have beautiful, flowing words in a tablet somewhere, lol! Pull them out and join us on the 'why white guys love black women' or something like that thread. Love to hear from you.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 27 Oct 09
I sooo appreciate your outlook, Tricci...but (if you were referring to me as "other blogger") I was joking about the whole "misfit club" thing.....sort of an oxymoron don't ya think....LOL. I have "blood" cousins that look "whiter" than Ryan so I really don't know what Violet is talking about...LOL. Like I have said before...NO ONE CAN TELL YOU HOW TO BE YOU. Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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Sen says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
I'm so late to the party but just wanted to say to thanks to faerydust, Ichibod and budgiegirl for their replies. I'm glad you got what I was trying to say and can relate to it. :)
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TricciNicci says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
"ryan…i think you have identity issues." ~ Violet _______________________ Violet, Have you ever been to Louisiana? New Orleans particularly? I don't think Ryan has an identity issue unless 85% of the folks in his state do as well. If you have never witnessed the effects of a melting pot metaphor, you should visit New Orleans. That state has more blond haired, blue eyed, fair toned black folks than the man in the moon, lol! Now I'm no expert, but have been, seen and know the complexities that have created such a melting pot it is hard to decipher racially and genetically who is who. The shame is with such high mixtures of genetics and bloodlines the state is as racially fraught as it remains. On one visit during a trip to Mississippi, we stopped at a local drug store near downtown. We were given henious looks by the older "pure blood" caucasians for being patrons in their store! I ignored them, enjoyed my shopping experience so their envy fell flat, lol. Ryan is identifying with culture just as much (probably more) than race. Not to suggest you don't know your history, but there is a reason why cornrow styles are sometimes called "French braids". There are things about cultures that can be adopted or even revived in the experience of self or the sharing of culture. What is it about Ryan which makes you believe he is struggling with identity issues? You don't think he appreciates his own culture or just over appreciates his euphoric blending of Louisiana's African based culture? I'm very interested to learn your perspective.
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TricciNicci says:Posted: 23 Oct 09
Hey Arcadia, Sending you a shout out for love and peace! Sorry I've been busy, but saw your post a few days ago in the midst of a family crisis. Though I didn't have time to respond then I'd like to thank you for reaching out as a kindred spirit. I am happy to welcome you and am encouraged to know others who desire to reflect upon the world a True spirit that is of original love. If we could all grow that, one person at a time bringing all of our true gifts to God, not one that is copied or feigned...well, what a beautiful world this would be. Namaste and Blessings Arcadia. You will always find a friend here if ever in need.
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JohnnyBadBoy says:Posted: 22 Oct 09
One nice thing, so many beautiful female bloggers...enough spark keeping the conversation alive...still have the question about the topic, but, maybe it is supposed to get people to look deep inside...I really wish that Caucasian designation would sink into a swamp somewhere, if I had Caucasian blood, I would be proud of it,but did you ever look at the Caucasus Mountains...pretty small area...and not for something completely different. Black & White as racial terms only go back to the first half of the 18th Century,as racial terms although they were used as descriptive terms. Herodotus thought the Ethiopians were really sun burned. The white as snow thing is at least heavily linked to Celtic and Teutonic aristocrats, and other. Some people can't be in the sun for more than 5 minutes without suffering,... blisters, extreme pain, etc., etc. So the circle goes round. Part of the solution is to dump the color coding. Only a few racialist schools still name their teams, the 'Fighting Sioux',or some such name. If the Indians do want to be call red, don't do it,and I have yet to meet an Asian that wants to be called yellow. I would say screw the census, and anyone that wants to play the race card. If we could just get past this color thing, we too could 'climb to the mountain top.' It has to happen, or, the blood that was shed here, and if you add North, South,Central America, and the Caribbean together, We are conservatively speaking of well over 250,000,000 (yes, more that 250million). I have seen it all too clearly. This site is important in it's own way. It is one of the paths to peace, for forming relationships, be it for dating, love, or friendship is so important. I want to leave with a small but huge misunderstanding. In Iraq, our troops stop cars at checkpoints by raising up their hand and holding it up. Among many of the Arabs, and most in that region, that means hello friend, how are you. And the soldier keeps their hand up, because nobody bothered to tell them this simple fact. If you want someone to stop, you make a slashing movement with your arm and hand, parallel to the ground. It is the same story. Of course they didn't stop, and so thousands of families lost members. All based on a misunderstanding. And how many of those joined the resistance ? Who know, but that we too paid in blood. It is long past the time for us to make peace, make love, make lasting friends. It took nearly two years for me to win the heart of my Abah, may peace be upon him. But, then he took me to his heart, treating me like his eldest son. I believe that we can do the same. The least we can do is try, and if someone gives you looks. Turn to them, look them level in the eye, smile and nod to them. Maybe they will lose their fear. Go in peace.
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RYAN says:Posted: 21 Oct 09
Thats wsup. Im 5 minutes away in Gretna. You're from the westbank?
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Ichibod says:Posted: 21 Oct 09
Ryan, You from the bayou, too? Sweet! I'm thinking about coming down to Harvey for Thanksgiving.
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RYAN says:Posted: 20 Oct 09
im from new orleans, so im used to being around a lot of black people. i have friends of all races, but when it comes to love, relationships, and sex, i only chose black women. i also see many other interracial couples all the time.
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