White men are least attracted to Black women?
...gender is one of the determining factors of interracial dating trends. Caucasian females are least likely to date Asian men, whilst white males in the U.S tend to be least attracted to female African American's. - 'Interracial Dating Trends' by Matt Dating
Much as it is just a generalization, most of us do agree that there are very few White women who date Asian men. And when we try finding the reason for this, stereotypes and more stereotypes is all we dig up. But let's look into the Black women White men interracial relationships: is attraction the reason why there are relatively fewer White men dating Black women? Really?
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409 responses to "White men are least attracted to Black women?"
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Jgoody says:Posted: 16 Apr 10
ever body get help no BS its 2010 really the p is black and white lol so come on you like some one you like and thats that sorry
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klu_4_u says:Posted: 14 Mar 10we may not like it but that is the way things are. Many are all too willing to sleep with black women for the experience but when it comes to getting married and having mixed children black women are lest desirable for the majority of white men. That's why I am so happy for this site. Being on a regular site and dealing with constant rejection fully based on race is tough...at least here I know that is not the main issue and I am free to flirt like crazy without fear of discrimination :)
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BSL says:Posted: 26 Feb 10I'm surprised that this post got so long without the entire article being posted. If it was posted you'd see that not only were Black women least desired by white men, Black men were least desired by white women and also Asian women by an equal amount. Just goes to show you that there is still much racism in the world.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 18 Feb 10johnnybadboy, Thank you. That was very theraputic. I'm no Ghandi fan, I just liked that quote. I found it some years back and it sort of stuck. I'll have to check out that book, "Everything You Know Is Wrong". Neat title. Peace be unto you!
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johnnybadboy says:Posted: 18 Feb 10
Ichibod,... I see you're still going at it. I got tired of all the 'read a book once' geniuses, but, because you stuck your neck out for me, I wanted to drop some information. Not hyperbole, just plain simple facts not commonly known, and, which in one case diminishes a legacy, and in the other, just tarnishes it a bit, which in my opinion is needed, as I do not believe in making humans into God. I also tend to have a live and let live attitude in most cases, so please suffer my remarks. The one diminished, Mahatma Gandhi,(was a racialist)who had a chance to do a big thing and backed down. I don't speak of South Africa, from where my grandad had to flee for telling racialists, things like,"When you were a baby, she had you at her teat,and you sucked and now you won't walk down the street with her?".(and Many other such things, so that as the Jan Smutts Government came into power, in spite of the fact that he had just been named the 1st Dean of the School of Pharmacy at Rhodes University, he had fought in WWI, his brother was a highly decorated DEAD war hero, and his brother-in-law, another DEAD war hero, by 1929, he realized he better get out of 'jail free', so he fled with his wife and my mom, and one trunk. All else was confiscated. Now Gandhi didn't get involved with the rights for all, movement there, at least not to that extent,BUT, what he didn't do, in spite of their leaders begging him to do so,years later in India,when his voice would have counted huge, was to say that the "untouchables" status,and for that matter, the whole caste system should be done away with.No, he turned his head. He told them to go away. They suffer harshly yet today. Sadly enough, that India remains the most segregated country in the world, or if not, is a medal contender.Of course their("untouchables") voices are never heard. In fact India, to hide inequalities unsurpassed over thousands of years, hides this small fact,yet once I heard,it is and will always be, a huge and never ending fact for me. Movies like 'Slum Dog Millionaire', (didn't see it so I don't know if it is plural)are made,to let us think,there is hope for all, but no, Brahmans marry only Brahmans, and so too do the other castes.They must never mix, or their children would be born "untouchables" and liable to the rapes, burnings of families and their relatives who complain of violence against them, and lynching is still a popular sport as well.{FYI...I really thought that you would want to know.} It is not a judgment against a people,but,it is a judgment against the system that is protected by the true practice of a religion,not like the bullshitting Wahhabi,Jama'at Islami, Taliban or ignorant types,who,unaware(and maybe purposely unaware) that Mecca was the capital of prostitution and other vices on that peninsula in the early years of Islam, or until Mohammad's armies captures the city and freed the sex slaves, closing the brothels, giving women in Mecca and Medina a permanent set of rights which were to be used as a beginning, not an end , read passages that tell men and women to behave modestly,(one translates, telling women to "cover their charms", i.e.their genitalia,and not to flaunt their breasts,not to wear transparent clothing, as the prostitutes were wont to do.These weak men find it easier to think that women were ordered to dress like 'ninja'. That is just an utter falsehood, enforced by men who are afraid they cannot keep their women,and continue to act like the opening we have on our backsides.In point of fact, they saw the Byzantine female nobility cover up most of their bodies,even hiding their faces behind a veil, that commoners might not look upon them,and centuries later,when the Mongols came,slaughtering millions,and raping who they please,took more to the veil so that a Mongol soldier might,in a captured town,believe that t5his was an important woman, better leave her alone. And it worked. There is so much more, and I would happily debate anyone who is smart enough to understand when they are wrong about something.(Not an easy person to find) In this field, I am well read.Back to Gandhi in a round about way. It is well covered, in WWII, the second largest NAZI party was in India, with millions of members.Aryans !! That mind set is one reason Islam has so many followers and Christians, and other religions do well among those educated enough to understand paths out of the lower castes or the "untouchables".(It is also claimed by the inhabitants of the south east regions of India, that St.Thomas journeyed there, and converted many. BUT, it is not easy to get people(even the oppressed) to change beliefs, especially when they are told that they,their former self, had to have done something terribly wrong for them to be born as low as they are,AND IF they want to get out of such an awful life,advancing in the next, grin and bear it. This information is available to a decent scholar, but, it stays out of the news for geo-political reasons.Cheap labor,free rape,murder without consequences,an economic benefit and no-fault crime for the high castes,who of course control the government,police, and army. A book,"Everything You Know Is Wrong", will offer proofs if you need them, although I cannot remember is the bit about Gandhi, out of Indian History texts, or was it also mentioned in that book. Have a strong stomach, and bless you, if, after you find out, you speak the truth. The minor flaw about King Jr.,whom I idolized, and thus,though I was angry at him for a few years,still I kept the facts to myself, for people still needed him as a saint,(in spite of his womanizing which was known), was that while at Boston University, when writing his dissertation, he plagiarized enough of it, that had it been known at the time, he, or, ANYONE else caught doing so, would have been sanctioned, expelled, etc. . To me he did his penance. Perhaps it gnawed at his soul in moments when he felt tired or weak. I don't know. I do know the music in his dreams and voice,and what he did, in my mind, wipe the slate.(You see I taught,and, I also did not get jobs that were given to people who did cheat. In fact, I was offered rather large sums of money, by people who wished a thesis,($10-15,000, depending on the field, $25,000 and up for a dissertation. From what I understand, it is very common now.That is sad,but,does to a degree explain the general incompetence,and gateways to corruption.Hungry as I sometimes was, I never even wrote a paper,(money there too)although I did read and critique, all of the above- for free. That's different. I guess my judgment is based upon the fact that in one case, terrible things were and are justified(Gandhi), while in the other,there greatness of the latter acts, show a contrition few would dare. So even though they both were shot, King died because he was trying t6o do what Gandhi would not, extend equality to all, something that seems to be sadly missing from this site far too many times. You and I may be of different faiths, but, I believe the essence of our soul regarding the treatment of God's creatures is not so far apart, if at all. As for me, you used Gandhi as an example,and I did not wish to see you so deceived.I do not even have to close my eyes to see little girls, cans of gasoline,the police assisting, or turning their heads, and it is thousands of people every year, and so, like the ancestors of both of us, at times enslaved, murdered, lynched,...the images linger. Bless you my cousin. Be guided, be protected, and be well.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 17 Feb 10
Godiva, I thought that was funny, too. I remember when you approached her in all manner of love and respect regarding her language and attitude, and she just went off on you in a twisted tantrum. You have this humility thing down pat. I'm still working on it. I read everyone's posts about up to 12 times line by line before responding to them. Some posts I've sent have taken 3 hours before submission due to proofreading, re-examining statements (in Hebrew and in Greek,lol) in order to give the benefit of a doubt. Other times, I just like to have fun a say what I think is funny from my perspective. I also remember how you came to me after those harsh words I said about you last year. That's the type of correction and encouragement we all need from time to time. Love ya, Sis! How are you feeling now? Breathing easier I hope.
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godiva61 says:Posted: 17 Feb 10
@bigeyes31, I almost forgot to thank you for the compliment on yesterday, much appreciated! I try very hard to be nice to everyone, in my life away from this blog, as well as this blog, just treat people in the manner in which you want to be treated, and when you don't think that you can do it, be still and be quiet. I've learned more about myself and other's over the years, simply by listening and really allowing some people to have the last word if they so desire. While they may be still talking, I'm listening to the ONE who really matters. Have a great Wednesday!!! godiva
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godiva61 says:Posted: 17 Feb 10
@Ichibod, You are one of the FEW, people EVER, to have me laughing, and very hard I must say, this early in the morning!! Thanks my dear brother, I needed this laugh this morning!!!!!!! Racist, crimson, optic voodoo demon, too funny! I'm hoping that this line will not be in my head all day!
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Ichibod says:Posted: 17 Feb 10
Wg110212, I know John 3:16-17 very well and I hate when people leave out the 17th verse (or the rest of the chapter, for that matter). I feel it's the most important one out of the pairing. I've used that as wallpaper on an old cell phone of mine, the headline of my MySpace page, and many other places. It's one of the things I have against some Christians when certain condemnation is directed toward people. However, I'm not sure what that has to do with me. I wasn't trying to insult or pass judgement on you or your husband. I stand by my opinions, but as I said in another blog topic, opinons are worth squat because they can be derived from either truth or fallicy. God says nothing about staying with any particular race, but Jesus says to love thy neighbor. My problem was with just ONE sentence fragment of yours. What's the deal with your accusation of me having a problem with race, your co-signing of a blogger regarding a comment that was actually from a totally different blogger (that racist, crimson-optic voodoo demon), God in a box, assuming I said that God reasons with anyone, hiding behind religion, assuming I don't know about my family tree, and my "being afraid"? I'm not religious, by the way. I'm faithful. Really, all this "preaching to the seminary" stuff you're doing is really depressing and really not what we should be carrying on in front of all these folks. Like I said earlier... "Listen, I don’t doubt your conviction or calling if any. So, it’s senseless to carry this on any further. My agreeing with Julius was based on one statement alone. One that I found… well, I already apologized for saying “stupid”." You say that you pull no punches with the Word of God, but you let loose a haymaker of sissy slaps in all of those posts. Please, stop it. Extract what you need from this blog, and finish your research. The people of Antioch coined term "Christian" meaning to be like Christ. The only negativity associated with the term at that time was the fact that anyone with that name was persecuted. Now the term is negative pertaining to anyone who isn't a part of Christ's true church/body (hence, my problem with some Christians yadda, yadda, yadda). One of my favorite quotes was by Mohandas Ghandi. He said... "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Just as Obi-Wan said to Luke Skywalker, I feel the "force" is strong with you two. I don't know. One talks, one types. Can't really tell who's saying what at times. I kinda like the Scoff and Sarah posts. You can tell who's who. Nevertheless, I already apologized, and I meant it. If you felt I was on milk, you attempted to do a lot of wounding of my spirit with no forgiveness and without any constructive critism or correction relative to this so called "interesting dialogue" to facilitate healing. My relationship with God is kinetic. I don't despise reproof. I've never been one of those people who says, "I don't care what other people think about me". But, you've said a lot of stuff based on so much of what I've never said nor even implied. And that's wrong, and my worth-of-squat opinion says claiming it came in communion with the Holy Spirit is as well. Not the Holy Spirit itself, but the claim (I have to make sure I'm clear on that this time). More so than John 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 2:15, and Hebrews 11:1 (just three of my favorites), I have always been conscious and careful of this one... 1 Chronicles 16:22 "Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm." I'm not very sure about y'all for a number of reasons, therefore I'm remaining cautious and concerned for all of our safeties. So I'll say it again, It's senseless for the three of us to carry this on any further. Take care!
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 16 Feb 10Edit: I meant...."and as time passed"....bit of a Freudian slip...lol
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 16 Feb 10
wg110212 Well, I was very impressed by the insight you both offered on this topic being that you guys are a successful interacial couple. As I stated before, it's not a matter of misunderstanding your point but one of debating your point. You have to realize that this is still a blog/forum which often gets off topic and draws debates. Sometimes there is a harmonious exchange of ideas,musings,thoughts and just plain old conversation and often times there is not. I can only say that it's best not to get into debate which involves some basic back and forth at least until you become less sensitive,provided you intend to continue sharing your thoughts here. You and your husband are welcomed. I do respect that you were woman enough to say something that was posted hurt you instead of pretending. I truly respect that but I don't think it was intentional. You remind me of another couple Scoff and Sarah that came here to share not expecting or maybe not realizing that this is place of debate and was initially hurt by some bloggers on here. But, as her participation increased and time pasted she grew to enjoy her time here and so did Scoff. I hope you and your husband will participate in whatever way you see fit. Peace
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fkoi says:Posted: 15 Feb 10Ichibod, good to see you man. I know I am guilty of this on (many) occasion(s) but when I respond at great length to folks I don't know in a venue as faceless as a these blogs I know I need to go take a walk or pick up an instrument. I feel ya, man. It sucks to be maligned and/or insulted, especially in a public forum. That's what the other cheek is for I think. I turned mine a while back on this blog and it felt good. Not telling you what to do or how to be of course. Just sharing my mind.
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Member says:Posted: 15 Feb 10
Ichibod So, once again, just say that you do not understand and ask questions and do not assume that you know what I saying. There is nothing wrong with asking. What’s wrong is when you don’t ask. Assumming will get you into a lot of trouble. Sometimes, you can talk your way out of it (lie) and yet sometimes you will dig a hole for yourself. Thus, assuming is not a great thing to do. It is better to do research or ask. There is nothing wrong it you do not know. This way you will know and you will not get into any trouble because you chose not to ask. When you assume, sometimes you try to make it look like you know, but in actuality you do not know. Other persons will agree with you, but they know that you do not understand and they think that something is wrong with you.” This has been an interesting dialogue in modern communication. No, my feelings have not been hurt. It just proves the point of my research about miscommunication in a modern communication era, when things are not said clearly and concisely. Please do not assume that everyone that makes a comment similar to the one that I made, is being superficial. I do not hate my human race, I do not hate any race, because all races were there in the beginning when Adam was created. Oh, by the way the paragraph that you stated was "the entire paragraph was your mistake and the very point behind Romans 12:17" Came from my husband while he was communicating with the Holy Spirit. Thus, are saying that the Holy Spirit made a mistake? As far as your family tree goes, again that was my husband while he was communicating with the Holy Spirit. I pull no punches when it comes to the Word of God, because Jesus is the Word made flesh. Culture is everything that makes up our way of life including shared knowledge, behaviors, and symbolic expresssion. So, yes being a Christian is being a part of the culture of Christ. Hence, the reason why we are called Christians in a positive way now, as opposed to the negative way when the term "Christian" was first used at Antioch. God will use whatever medium He chooses to use when he chooses to use it Ichibod. My husband and I are just vessels that are being used by God to reach you and let you know that the path you are currently taking is not the correct one. Turn around and see God for who he truly is. Thus, much of what was said was said by through us. Again, let go of those things and let God. You need to turn away from the big thing that you are in because we are talking about your soul here. God wants to heal you, but you need to turn away from it. Because what you are involved in is not from God and He did not give you the okay to become involved in it. God has so much for you. The Lord wants so much to give to you, but you need to walk away from that issue, before you become so involved and there won't be a way out. That's why, no disrespect intended, you are having trouble understanding what is being said. Let it go, let it go, let it go. Douggiedc and Wg110212 PS-Please meditate on John 3:16 and 17. Read it out lound and think about it. Don't answere the telephone or door. Just think on the two scriptures. Then it will come to you.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 14 Feb 10
Wg110212, Wow! I didn't know your feelings were that hurt by my post. Geez! "...why not just ask for an explanation instead of being insulting." I recall reading that before. I even flipped one of your own statements to show you that our problem wasn't with you, but with one line. And how your post was starting to sound like so many other black women (and some men) on this blog that only date white men/women because they hate black men/women. That's what I meant by "...superficial reasons has become an epidemic and an extremely sensative topic of debate in these blogs." It helps to keep sentences and paragraphs together when comprehending them rather than breaking them apart for the sake of an argument. Romans 12:17 "Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men." I've transgressed a bit regarding the verse above, how about you also think about some of the things you said to me in your post, Sista. I know MY family tree is diverse. What's the point of you mentioning that? Two unmarried people "dating" doesn't always mean they are having sex. Our society, as screwed up as it is now, just assumes or alleges that daters are or have to. So that was also pointless to mention. "See, you have a problem with race. Because you do not truly understand the culture of a Christian." Whoa!! Where did you get that from? I AM a member of this site, you know. "Culture" of a Christian? I've, never heard it put that way before. I'm not going to give my opinon on that line nor do I need you to clarify. It's just like Christian's are to seek God's face and learn to think like Him, but using His name, Jesus, and the word "reasoning" in the same sentence seemed to throw you for a loop. We'll just let that one go. "As a Christian, yes I do. What Christian doesn’t have a problem with other Christians. I apologize for not citing the scriptures and examples to expound on that answer, but you should already know. I’ve already typed more than I wanted to." That was a joke. Sorry you didn't find it funny. But, seeing as though you followed up that quote with references to meat and milk, you apparently DO know what I meant by that, but you actually thought you could turn it around and insult me with it. Mr Queens was speaking from his opinions of why white men date black women. That's why I couldn't tell if he was really talking to me or not in that post, I just saw he was "stepping in between Ich and Wg110212." And because you were so insulted, you totally missed the bases of the prior and following enchanges in this blog. That's what I meant by... "It’s obvious you are a visitor and have no idea who I am and what I stand for by your question, “Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?” Who I am, apart from being ‘Ichibod’, is irrelevant as no one here who knows Ichibod actually knows who Ichibod is outside of this blog, just as I know Julius26 by web handle only." I know you didn't asked WHO I was (that's why I said it was irrelevant). I was in fact offended by that question. I gave you my answer, but what gave you that impression? An impression different from the true spirit behind my answer, that is. "Advising a person to stand by their preferences sounds a lot better than, “black, stay white; white, stay black” considering there ARE other races, on this site and in the world" and "…Knowing that the life of Christ and the mind of God transcends such unimaginative reasoning." "Unimaginative reasoning". Sorry this confused you so. Spiritual mindedness trancends such unimaginative reasoning. You decided to look over the point I was making to build a sort of straw man attack. Listen, I don't doubt your conviction or calling if any. So, it's senseless to carry this on any further. My agreeing with Julius was based on one statement alone. One that I found... well, I already apologized for saying "stupid". "So, once again, just say that you do not understand and ask questions and do not assume that you know what I saying. There is nothing wrong with asking. What’s wrong is when you don’t ask. Assumming will get you into a lot of trouble. Sometimes, you can talk your way out of it (lie) and yet sometimes you will dig a hole for yourself. Thus, assuming is not a great thing to do. It is better to do research or ask. There is nothing wrong it you do not know. This way you will know and you will not get into any trouble because you chose not to ask. When you assume, sometimes you try to make it look like you know, but in actuality you do not know. Other persons will agree with you, but they know that you do not understand and they think that something is wrong with you." This entire paragraph was your mistake and the very point behind Romans 12:17. I kinda liked Douggiedc. His post was very much to the point, not advocating any particualr racial coupling. Just advising folks to be themselves, but to first look at and fix yourselves. I wasn't insulting him. If I did, he didn't respond back to me with an insult. Would that be considered the "culture" of a Christian so called? I believe so. You found a good man. Take care!
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Pleasestop says:Posted: 14 Feb 10
Correction. White AMERICAN men are least attracted to Black women? I'm sooo tired of this worn out AMERICAN, mentality! As a black Continental Western European and American woman, I find this hyper-segregated, arcane dating style, more than a bit bizarre. (Yes, I know U.S. history and language, very well, and have lived all over the U.S. for half of my life) I am 5'8", fit, financially independent, world traveled, artist and international lawyer. European men are all over me, but the American men that I have met, (most of whom cannot hold a global political conversation in their own mono-tongue), act as if they are doing ME a favor. What a pitiful joke! The fact that people would choose to miss out on their soul-mate, because of skin tone in the "developed" world, in 2010, is ridiculous! The concept of race has been fabricated to keep people divided. This way, you cannot band together, as ONE people, to fight the U.S. multinationals that keep you all enslaved. (Brilliant geopolitical marketing plan though.) Before you troll. I am here because my mother is a black American, who has been ill. I came here to take care of her. (As the country that she loves, could care less).
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wg110212 says:Posted: 14 Feb 10
To Bigeyes31, The comments that were posted were not just from me, but my husband as well. He too could not understand why the subject matter has gone so far to the left from the title. We are generally very easy going people and I did pick up on some hurt in some of the comments on this particular subject. The post was meant to encourage, not discourage, based upon the subject matter that "James" discussed. My view is not limited or narrow. But I concentrated on the topic in relation to black women and white men. I stand by what I said, black women, stay white and white men stay black. I know that not everyone had a difficult time with what I said and understood exactly where I was coming from with the comments.
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wg110212 says:Posted: 14 Feb 10
Ichibod, I had to leave because you insulted me and thus insulted my husband,who decided to respond in his way. Now, I will respond in mine. Once again, you fail to understand the comments. Grow up! Don't pick a fight just to pick a fight. What's wrong? You can't stand being put in you place. Mr. Queens is quite correct. You hide behind religion instead of being out front and showing your light! Do you have one? I don't think so. Wg110212, This is a public blog and all visitors are welcome. It’s obvious you are a visitor and have no idea who I am and what I stand for by your question, “Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?” Who I am, apart from being ‘Ichibod’, is irrelevant as no one here who knows Ichibod actually knows who Ichibod is outside of this blog, just as I know Julius26 by web handle only. I did not ask you who you were, but the question was, "Do you have a problem with Christians, not who you are. My husband would like to know, "What are you so afraid of?" The motto, creed, purpose, or tagline of this site reads, “Where it’s OK the color outside the lines…”. Advising a person to stand by their preferences sounds a lot better than, “black, stay white; white, stay black” considering their ARE other races, on this site and in the world. At present, I am not concered with the other races on this site or in the world. Because the tagline for the sight says what it says that much is obvious; however, the tag for this particular section is, "White men are least attracted to Black women?" Thus, I still say Black women stay white, and white men stay black. Because that is what this discussion is supposed to be centered around, not the other races that visit the sight, but black women and white men. Based upon what "James" wrote, this discussion is supposed to be about why white men like black women least of all as possible partners. If other races visit this site and read this blog, they may see the same thing that I did as I was reading, the coversations have drifted to the left or right depending on how you choose to view it. Other races in the world are a given, but once again, this blog is supposed to be in reference to white men being least attracted to black women. I still stand by what I said about black women and white men, because it is possible to make the relationship work regardsless of color. From the personal experiences of my husband and myself, the only people concerned about our "mixed" relationship is other people that have a problem with color and racism. “The comment is only being read by those that come to this site. Therefore, are you thnking about the entire human race or just those who are interested in dating/marrying someone of a different race?” Many people who come to this site join as basic or premium members, most with various levels of interracial dating experience and/or curiosities behind. But you, just as many others that have merely COME to this DATING site are not members, only bloggers. Which brings to question, how did you find this site? Being already MARRIED to a white man and finding a DATING site, not to mention an INTERRACIAL dating site would make one wonder if there may be insecurities or shame that would lead you to a Google, Yahoo, or BING search engine to see what others have to say about interracial relationships as though you haven’t move on with your own life’s preferences, choices, decisions, gifts and blessings. Not to mention, what brought you to “White men are least attracted to Black women?” and not comment on the topic at hand. I’ve only seen one person speak of their interracial relationship and actually invite their loved one to participate in discussions on this site’s blogs. They both are very well known and respected in these threads now. Actually, I was doing research for a modern communications class. Because it deals with cultures, co-cultures, the communicaiton process, and mediums used in modern communication. I entered "communication between black women and white men", because I do believe that it is a subject that I know something about. Various articles and sites came up and I printed and read quite a few. Some, such as this one, I did not print. “I know about the pressures of being in an interacial marriage…” So, is that why you’re REALLY here? Viewing this site as some support group therapy session under the guise of encouraging it’s members when they could just as easily signed up with Match.com or eHarmony if interracial dating wasn’t already their option or preference. That is so lame. Because I am in an interacial marriage, there are pressures from the outside. As a whole, society, still does not accept interacial marriages. But, there are also pressures for children of interacial marriages. So, yes I do know about the pressures of interacial marriage, but this site as therapy. That's just to funny. Much of the problem that Julius26 and I have with your statement is that previous comments much like it insinuate a limited or narrow scope regarding race relations in many areas of life up to and including dating. Especially as black people, seeing many interracial relationships between black women and white men develope out of superficial reasons has become an epidemic and an extremely sensative topic of debate in these blogs. I am a Christian, also. And reading a comment by someone who professes themself as a Christian, knowing the life of Christ and the mind of God trandscends such unimaginative reasoning, just didn’t sit well with me. Maybe ’stupidity’ was a little harsh, and I apologize. Sorry, I’m not a Donnie Mcclurkin fan. There is no need to paraphrase Proverbs 18:22, I understand that perfectly. It just doesn’t support any intention you claimed by your post except your own selfrighteous belief that your husband found “a good thing”. And maybe he did. To each his/her own. You are so confused. The scripture was quoted because my husband said to say it and because for those of us that do not profess, but live the life of a Christian we know that it is the man, that must find the wife in order for the good thing to happen. It is the man that finds Favor with the Lord and thus his wife also. See, you have a problem with race. Because you do not truly understand the culture of a Christian. I do not have a limited or narrow scope when it comes to race relations. Come to a family reunion and you will see what I mean. I don't believe that my family has missed any races in the colorful rainbow of humanity, lol. Of course, no one is truly the color that we see because there has been such a mixure throughout the existance of the humanrace. Search your own family tree and then talk to me about being limited and narrow. You will be very, very, shocked about what you find about your own family tree. No one and I mean no one, but Christ himself can truly understand his life on earth. I do not have my God in box. People that put God in box have control issues. They have not learned to "let go and let God." Man tends to screw it all up and then wants to run to God instead of asking Daddy first. I do have the right to call him Daddy, because when I accepted Christ as my LORD and Savior, it gave me the right to call God Abba Father, which means Daddy, Father. God has never been inside of the box or Ark of the Covenant, but he dwelt bwtween the cheribums. Thus, he was never in the box, so why don't you take him out! ...Knowing that the life of Christ and the mind of God transcends such unimaginative reasoning. Since when does God reason with anyone? That must be god spelled with a small "g". The God that I serve does not reason, it is this way and that way is straight! You lost sight of the topic Ichibod. Let me remind you , the topic is Why white men are least attracted to black women. For those indviduals such as yourself and Julius26, get a clue and get a life. People are going to see whomever they choose to see. If it is a superficial that is between that man and that woman. Let it go! In addition, Christians do not date. We do not engage in prematrital sex. Sex is usually a part of "dating." Christians fellowship and court, not date. Expecially those dealing with the five fold ministry. There is no shacking! No living together outside of marriage. See, the problem with some men is that they what to manipulate to put the blame on someone else, instead of taking responsibility for themselves. As men do since Adam, it is either the woman or now in society's day the woman, different races, the neighbor etc. And lastly, to further answer your question: “Ichibod, do you have a problem with Christians?” As a Christian, yes I do. What Christian doesn’t have a problem with other Christians. I apologize for not citing the scriptures and examples to expound on that answer, but you should already know. I’ve already typed more than I wanted to. There are many mature Christians out there in the vast world that do not have a problem with other believers. They have graduated to meat and are no longer on milk. You are obviously still on milk. I did comment on the topic in the first response that I submitted; however, you and others did not understand. So, once again, just say that you do not understand and ask questions and do not assume that you know what I saying. There is nothing wrong with asking. What's wrong is when you don't ask. Assumming will get you into a lot of trouble. Sometimes, you can talk your way out of it (lie) and yet sometimes you will dig a hole for yourself. Thus, assuming is not a great thing to do. It is better to do research or ask. There is nothing wrong it you do not know. This way you will know and you will not get into any trouble because you chose not to ask. When you assume, sometimes you try to make it look like you know, but in actuality you do not know. Other persons will agree with you, but they know that you do not understand and they think that something is wrong with you. It is better to find out the information or study. Like you said, no one knows who you are outside of this blog. However, I will tell you who I am. I am a daughter of the most high God. The one and only true and living God. I am a member of the family of Christ and I am a prophet, evangelist, and teacher of the most high God. ADONI. The question is, when will you stop hiding behind religion and start living as a child of ELOHIM!
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 13 Feb 10
Comment by tatted2death on 5 February 2010: must have hit a sore spot…I see…. …with the tired movie lines (”Bring It”….LOL) yup…..sloppy, sloppy, sloppy…..you must really be loving the fact that we can’t scroll back far enough the dig up the shyt where you were basically holding AZ’s johnson for about a month…..have fun with your “making shyt up” SAGA…..Peace 1. Comment by tatted2death on 29 June 2009 Those of us that prefer a little order have enjoyed her as a ray of sunshine in the midst of the storm. Does that mean any of us is afraid of the “storm”…..ummm….HaiL NO!!!! I say “bring it”….(if that is even possible online….LOL). You even try and hurt me….YOU HURT YOURSELF Yup sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Where's the "BALACE" in a person that critisizes another for using a "tired movie line" but has previously used it themselves? Even put in quotation marks so that the reader knows for SURE that it is being qouted from a "tired movie"...LOL. Instead of calling me 'COPY AND PASTE QUEEN' as you did before.....you may now call me the 'COPY AND PASTE EMPRESS!' I live to get specific when I find a person that likes to "gloss over" things.The weapon that was fashioned against me, I have now used it for my good.
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NeuroticMoor says:Posted: 13 Feb 10
I'm intrigued by the change in language in the original survey... Why did they ask white women who they were "most likely to date" and then ask "white men who they were most attracted to"? It's a slight difference that makes the former feel more like a statement of preference, but the latter a statement of value. Is it just me that finds that odd? Also, another black girl here who was considered a "freak" by other black folk... I grew up in the backwoods of Maine... into country, blue-grass and all kinds of rock... into Sci-fi... and have an affinity for all things British. Plus, I was raised as a Conservative Republican, (although I'm a moderate now)... Try fitting in anywhere with black people when your parents listen to Rush Limbaugh! ;) I hate it that these things mean I'm supposed to turn in my "black card", because black is a color not a personality type. I just love Men or more accurately I just love people - they fascinate me! I wish race didn't have to be such a big issue in that. But going back to the original post - It doesn't matter if the general group "white men" is thought to find the general group "black women" attractive... All that matters is that "this one man" finds "this one women" beautiful and promises to treat her well forever!
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B says:Posted: 11 Feb 10
If I saw an article that read "black women least attracted to white men", I'd probably laugh and think whoever posted it was trying to get a reaction. I've dated black women before, and I also like women from other cultures (I'm white by the way). And I can honestly say it's not really about looks at all. For me, I want a woman who can give me piece of mind. In reality, looks do attract, but I could never rate one race against the other in terms of beauty.
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Crasy says:Posted: 09 Feb 10
I was surfing the web, and stubble on your debate. I am not American. And I think that this question is very American. I am French from Caribbean origins, and in my island we all know that white men have always been attracted by black women. What is this debate really about? Are black women not attractive enough for white men? I don’t think so. Does it really matter? The census takes the amount of mixed races marriages between white men and black girls. And that brings the subject to another level. Marriage is another matter. When you marry someone you are linking two families and in that case two different races with a history of hatred and violence. In fact two enemies! Such is the power of love that forgiveness and redemption occurs just like this. We should not read this statistics in a negative way. We should be happy that in a world where marriage is vanishing, where prejudices and racism is still rampant that some good men and women have had the courage to officially honour their choice. One should bear in mind that for some white men getting married with a black woman means that they have to kiss goodbye to their mum and dad, their friends and expect no promotion in their job. This is a hard price to pay. What a strain for a relationship! Not everybody is ready to do so, especially in an American environment. You must have guessed by now! I am one of your statistics: a black woman that married a white guy 28 years ago. There is no super race. Who cares what pleases white men! You should marry the person you love.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 08 Feb 10
Comment by Ichibod on 7 February 2010: I didn’t say anything about voodoo. I don’t need to understand anything about voodoo other than anyone practicing it is wasting their time speaking Jesus’s name for any reason other than repentance and renouncing their pagan worship and practice." You admit you don't know anything about my faith so it makes no sense for you to talk about it. You can believe all the lies and stereotypes you want but it does not make it true. One thing white people never learned just because you hide behind bible quotes and use jesus to excuse your ignorance and evils doesn't make it right. And obviously you do hate black women because the first thing you did was attack me and my faith when you don't know me and you don't prcatice my religion. And you defended that sick white pervert that trolls websites harassing black women. I am happily married to a man that respects and loves me I don't need some ignorant self-hating uncle tom black boy like you trying to talk to me. Good riddance, you're pathetic.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 08 Feb 10
YOU are an idiot, you are talking about a religion you don't even practice. Only a fool talks about people they don't know, if you knew about my religion you would not be repeating the same racist and stupid comments that white people repeat about black religions. Quoting the bible does not make sense, first you talk about my religion when you don't even know about it and then you claim to be intelligent. Hiding behind bible quotes to make yourself seem correct and smart, you're a moron. Smart people learn before they speak. If YOU don't like voodoo, i don't care it is a great faith, my faith, and it is older than your ignorant behind. I share my knowledge with people that might want to learn, not some idiot like you that parrots what the typical racist white person would say about any african religion. Erzulie Freda is a powerful love spirit and she has helped many people find love, your silly comments won't change that.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Feb 10
I didn't say anything about voodoo. I don't need to understand anything about voodoo other than anyone practicing it is wasting their time speaking Jesus's name for any reason other than repentance and renouncing their pagan worship and practice. "Good spirits" and ancestors? Ancestors are dead, awaiting judgement before God, and cannot interact with our realm in the meantime. The only good spirits there are is God Himself, His angels (which serve Him), and whatever souls he deems righteous, and again that is at the final judgement. Any spirit interacting with our realm other that HE is a demon. I wasn't telling you about your faith. I was telling you about your ignorant, racist attitude that your faith evidently has no remedy for or conviction thereof. And what is this "hate black women" thing? For the record, Jesus isn't to be worshipped anyway. You need help. Call up one of those mambo jumbos to spit and throw blood and feces at you, or whatever they do. Ha! I just said that to piss you off. I just know Christ has no part in His people dealing with other spirits. Deuteronomy 18:10-12 "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch. Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. For all that do these things are an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee." And lastly before I go to bed: John 14:16-17 "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you." He's talking about the Holy Spirit, the third part of the trinity. I'm done! Play with it.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 07 Feb 10
Freda (what a stupid name) is not a spirit of God. The Holy Spirit is the ONLY one anyone who accepted Jesus is, shall we say, “authorized” to acknowledge. Anything else is pagan, period. Now I already told myself I wasn’t going to get into another religious/faith debate here. I can really show you just how much education I have." Oh and you don't have any "education" because IF you did practive voodoo and IF you were initiated you would be taught the truth about voodoo and not the same lies that the white media preaches all the time. Since you hate black women and black religion just igore what i say, i'm not here to help you. It makes no sense for you to try to tell me about MY faith when you don't practice it yourself. You aren't a houngan (teacher) and you aren't a hounsi(student) of voodoo, so you look stupid trying to act like you know what you're talking about. YOU need some intellect. I am telling the black women here looking for love that they have options and they can seek divine help to find a mate, people always do.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 07 Feb 10
AGAIN you don't practice voodoo so don't come on here acting like an educator of the faith. You sound like the typical white person talking about a religion that they know nothing about. I practice voodoo and no voodoo is not evil. We work with good spirits, god and our ancestors in voodoo, we don't work with evil spirits. YOUR name is stupid, it makes you sound like you want to be some white character from sleepy hollow. Freda is an african name and it has special meaning. Her full name is Erzulie Freda Dahomey and she comes from Dahomey Africa originally. Just because you hate black people and african faiths doesn't mean everybody else does and some of these women might be interested in learning. I am married i just come here to chat i don't need erzulie's help but other women might be interested in learning about her and what she can do to help them. We worship Jesus but we don't rely only on him for help we have extra help from god and the lwa which is a good thing.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Feb 10
Freda (what a stupid name) is not a spirit of God. The Holy Spirit is the ONLY one anyone who accepted Jesus is, shall we say, "authorized" to acknowledge. Anything else is pagan, period. Now I already told myself I wasn't going to get into another religious/faith debate here. I can really show you just how much education I have. Anyway, why are you here, ERE? You hate white people, plain and simple. This is not the place for all of that nonsense. Are you just hoping Azrazyel comes back to rip your monkey face off? He hasn't been around for a while so please take that racist rhetoric somewhere else. Blacks have converted to Islam because they didn't understand Christianity. People of all races become atheist because they don't understand or don't like the feeling of conviction. That has nothing to do with being white. Get an education on that, please. Just to get you started: Matthew 16:24 "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me." Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." That would include a date if it be his will. No direct mention or slight hint of this Freda chick. What Lwa helps to channel intellect? Why don't you conjure him/her/it up to help you out.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 07 Feb 10
Jesus is worshipped in voodoo, get an education on it before you make yourself sound like the white racists that always slander a faith they don't know about or practice themselves. Erzulie Freda actually interacts with people and she is well known for helping those seeking love. Jesus does not go around getting people dates Erzulie Freda does.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Feb 10
Umm... no. Try accepting Jesus Christ as your savior.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 07 Feb 10
You girls need to quit fighting! We must stick together as black people. Try asking the love spirit Erzulie Freda for help if you are seeking a nice man.
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fenway2k says:Posted: 06 Feb 10Ok, while these two are taking a breather between rounds.... I just wanted to interject a quick observation about white men and black women. This may be 'sophomoric' or infantile in reasoning, but I don't care and I think it has merit worth considering. You will find that the biggest increase in White men dating Black women is happening in urban areas. I believe the reason for this is simple... It gives White men more 'street cred' to have a Black woman in their stable. And it helps them survie in the streets. Like I said before, maybe not one of my more provocative posts, but I believe it to be full of merit nonetheless. Alright, back to the fight!
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
I sensed YOUR "sore spot" looong ago when Azrael rejected your flirt(throwing the booty)on this blog,LOL and you STILL sore about that...well get ready for the pain...LOL
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
With that MAN CHIN you are holding YOUR OWN JOHNSON....QUEENS AND AZRAEL called you out...don't MIND holding the "johnson" of men that were BORN MEN....lol...I keep bringing you back from the dead(stench and all) on these post... you can't let go...oh the power...LOL. Peace but I have the truth...and no one has forgotten...LOL
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tatted2death says:Posted: 05 Feb 10Oh when you get tired of HOLDING "Daffy's" johnson.....let me know. .....sounds like you've been gargling his AND my bath water MIXED.....lol
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tatted2death says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
must have hit a sore spot...I see.... ...with the tired movie lines ("Bring It"....LOL) yup.....sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.....you must really be loving the fact that we can't scroll back far enough the dig up the shyt where you were basically holding AZ's johnson for about a month.....have fun with your "making shyt up" SAGA.....Peace
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
For the record boo boo the fool. I don't have to imagine on a blog as you do...I'm going to a supebowl party with a date...you know the ones that you have to travel to Utopia to get...LOL.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
I have already cashed checks in YOUR BANK, ON YOUR TERRITORY....lol...and speaking of drag...with that "man chin" you have...YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE WONDERWOMAN....ROFLMAO. I have Never called her a pig wearing lipstick...so readers don't let her "gloss over" this too. See she think because the post has been deleted she can "start over"...lol. Not on MY watch. She did in fact do just what I said and she was in fact rejected in the blog"why white men love the black woman" blog...no less, how ironic....lol. The readers already know you are LOW, especially the ones that remember the "loose booty" saga between you and your ever elusive white man....surely you imagine things....LOL. BRING IT
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tatted2death says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
oh ...excuse me....the "real" WONDERWOMAN needs to tie herself up this time......maybe some "truth" will finally come out. Where was it that you saw me "publicly" flirt with a man in here?????AND get "rejected"....All YOU can see is how Queens INFLATED your ego and had YOU believing you "stole someone's man" IN A BLOG>>>>>>>LMAO.....ok...and I AM THE UTOPIAN????!??!??!....surely you jest.... LIKE I SAID, "Daffy" reel in "Foghorn-Leghorn" (in drag, no less....LOL). She/it is letting her mouth write checks her azz can't cash. (and if you thought that was "LOW" dear readers......consider I've been referred to as a "pig wearing lipstick" quite a few times......IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN, PEOPLE)
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tatted2death says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
"pull the string", Queens.....your "puppet" grows weary....
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
LMAO,For the Record I AM WONDERWOMAN!!!LOL I'm using my "magic lasso" to continue DRAGGNG you aroung these post,LMAO. I'm sure you can already "read between the lines" who is the "warrior". Nahhh...you are not NATURALLY GOOD..."loose women" can't be NATURALLY GOOD,LMAO. You make "shyt" up every time you post. No matter HOW many times you say it,won't change the facts,lol. That's called "reality", I know you prefer Utopia,LOL but too bad. Speaking of "paranoia", how can YOU call somoeone else paranoid when YOU assume all MY POSTS are about YOU? I think I will keep dragging you, it's easy enough. I love how you read EVERY LAST POST I TYPE,LMAO. You follow me from blog to blog,lol. Since you are SO MUCH about "sister-hood", it's not very "sisterly" to "back off" when a "sister" reaches out to you as I did in the beginning. Nah...you had other "motives" and Queens pointed it out,lol he was right. Obviously ,YOU need something to get YOU "through the night" so much so that you publically flirted, "came on to" a white man on this blog that rejected you, equally as public I might add,lol. You STILL haven't recovered and then try and give someone some advice on something....man PLEASE. ONLY A FOOL would see you as "balanced" or "engaging", LMAO. Peace and REALITY(for those that don't fear it,lol)
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tatted2death says:Posted: 05 Feb 10
HEY!!!!.....WONDER WOMAN is BACK!!!!! (equal parts "warrior" AND WOMAN.....thank you....lol). LET THE RECORD SHOW (I like that one better.....lol), that I GO WHERE THE LATEST POSTS ARE.....so KILL all that paranoid "someone's following me" noise...tee hee. what's all this nonsense about "glossing over" anything ......I told you before and I will tell you again....I don't have to do that.....I AM NATURALLY GOOD......LOL. ...And as for me having more of a rapport with SMOOCHES.....sorry...that was not about a CLIQUE or any such malarkey. I just knew more about her "style" here, so me responding to her at the time was only natural......PERIOD. And if ANYBODY can recall CORRECTLY.....I was VERY (genuinely) supportive of the friendship I saw budding between bigeyes and AZ....(before I saw HIS true nature, that is....LOL). But I could tell bigeyes was NOT the "sisterhood" type so I backed off because, LIKE I SAID, I saw the direction the whole fiasco was going. You can "disagree" with this post all you want but facts are facts. I have no need or desire to "make shyt up" in here.....it does not excite me the way it seems to do for some in here. But I will say this, if there was ever a question about my "motives" or whatever....wouldn't it just been more simple to JUST ASK. At least you could honestly say I tried to "gloss over" something (if that's how you wanted to interpret it....lol)....now it just sounds like YOU are the one "dragging" this out and trying to paint yourself the victor/"warrior".....LMAO. Whatever gets you through the night. ...And hey, I actually agree with you about DouggieDC.......quite evolved....and "balanced".....IN MY OPINION....LOL. Blessings tatted2death
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 04 Feb 10
Wg110212’s husband HOT DAMN! You said something that struck me in my heart! "The world will be a better place if we stop being afraid about color. The best advice could be right in front of you. So, don’t be afraid about color or race. Before you date color or race, study that race to many are blaming about different races." You went on to say much more that tells me you are a white man that "gets it". THAT'S REAL TALK! I respect you my brother!I can totally believe you and your wife have a wonderful relationship. I hope you stay and share more(only if you want)Ichibod is not a mean guy, but try to understand bloggers. The ears go straight up like a doberman pincher,lol when people posts certain things on here. He isn't attacking your wife but some of the points she made, that's all. It's all about the stating of a point and either agreeing or disagreeing.Look at it sometimes like a presidential debate,lol. I'm not trying to speak for Ichibod he is a grown man but I have read alot of his posts and he is cool. YES!!!! YOU,in my humble opinion, are a TRULY evolved person. Peace
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 04 Feb 10
Racism was started by white people it is up to them to destroy it.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 03 Feb 10
MrLaureltonQueens you talked about Haiti, well Hairi did not make a pact with the devil that is a lie created by white people. And since Haiti is being slandered because of the voudou faith and the white lies and stereotypes that surround this religion i will ell you some truth: Quick mini Haitian voudou lesson! White people have always demonized any religion that is black or african in origin. You never hear people saying "oh run from the evil Daoists or run from the evil catholics!" but you always hear people calling Voudou an african faith evil. 1.) VOUDOUD IS NOT EVIL! 2.) WHITE PEOPLE DO NOT PRACTICE VOUDOU AS A WHOLE (A Small number practice voudou) SO DONOT LTISEN TO THEM WHEN THEY TRY TO EDUCATE YOU ABOUT A FAITH THEY DON’T PRACTICE THEMSELVES. 3.) IF YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT VOUDOU GO TO AN AUTHENTIC MAMBO OR HOUNGAN TO LEARN FOR YOURSELF THE TRUTH. 4.)THERE IS NO WORSHIP OF DEMONS OR EVIL SPIRITS OR THE DEVIL HIMSELF IN THE VOUDOU RELIGION. WE WORK WITH GOD, THE SPIRITS OF THE SKY AND THE EARTH CALLED “LWA” AND OUR ANCESTORS. Of course whites are not very smart, black people are not going to go to an evil spirit who has no intention of helping anyone in the first place for help, black folks do not worship demons. So when white people bring up the devil when talking about African religions just laugh in their face because it is actually whites themselves who are known throughout history for worshipping demons. Pat Robertson is a pathetic cliche of the whites i’m talking about they demonize all african faiths like voudou amd Pat demonized the country of Haiti because voudou is major in Haiti. In voudou we do recognize and pray to christ because he is the son of the creator but we do not use christ to slander and make excuses for the pain and suffering of people like the whites have always done. You wanna learn some about Haitian voudou? http://www.rootswithoutend.org/ Here is a real deal Mambo Asogwe named Mambo Racine, she does work in Jacmel Haiti and in the USA. Because of the quakes she will soon be doing voudou service in the usa until things get better in Haiti. Just wanted to make a little noise because I get sick of whites slandering my faith (voudou) and slandering my people.
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Douggiedc says:Posted: 02 Feb 10
Ichibod, From Wg110212's husband. This is my response for my wife. To everyone that is looking for advice. The best advice is not from TV, radio, and not from this sight. The best advice is to be yourself and just go for it. If you are happy with that indvidual, then just be happy. That is what's wrong with society today, everyone wants to listen to everyone else's opinion. She is too black, white, skinny, ugly, etc. But if the individual makes you happpy the question will be, "Who are you dating?" are you dating, the individual, their friend, or what someone else says. Thus, the best advice is to look within youself. If that individual makes you happy, then what is the problem? Is it because you are trying to date peoples opinion or their friends. In other words, if you are happy with that individual then be with them. Ignore what others are saying. The world will be a better place if we stop being afraid about color. The best advice could be right in front of you. So, don't be afraid about color or race. Before you date color or race, study that race to many are blaming about different races. What it boils down to is that you are afraid because you don't understand about that race. So, just be yourself because that is what is wrong with society today. We are to busy trying to be like a movie star or like a politician or etc... However, we are not being ourselves, but trying to be like someone else. So that we can fit in or so that we can get that individual instead of being ourselves. Then, we get wrapped up in the lie. So, when the true individual, which would be yourself, comes out the person that you are dating will say, "See you I don't want to be you." Some may not even tell you. They may just run away from you without any contact. The other thing is, while you are trying to be someone else you are only hurting yourself. Sure you have a big smile on your face, but deep down you are hurting. So, you go to the next relationship with a different lie. You have been burnt by the fire once, why are you trying to be burnt again. Stop lying be yourself. Before you get into a relationship, find out who you are. What's wrong with society, we want to be like that movie star, that doctor, we want to be like that etc... If the truth be known, if we step into the movie star's shoes, that doctor's shoes or etc. Would we want to go through what they are going through? The heart ache and pain, especially the movie star. Everyone thinks that they have such a glamorous life, but do they really? What did they go through to be where they are now? Does that mean that you want to be in their shoes? So, stop being afraid and be yourself. If you don't know then try to find out about yourself. I can give you an example. I used something as a scapegoat from reality thinking that I was that or this, but now I am aware of myself. I am not this or that and will never be, but I am me. That's just an example of one thing of course this goes for other things that are used such as drugs, alcohol, and religion etc... The truth be known, why are we afraid to accept reality? It may be because we don't understand or are afraid of change. Don't be afraid try to understand people. Not color, but people. Douggiedc Hollar
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 01 Feb 10
Mr.L Queens, Yes, I sensed long ago that she tries to "gloss over" things and will get mad with you if you don't let her. If someone posts something I disagree with I WILL say something and will continue to do so,such as forums go.I think it speaks volumes about her if she has a problem with my agreeing with some of the points YOU MAKE but not others. I personally never had anything against her. I enjoyed the back and forth between you two it,added some spice to this forum to me. This isn't a sister-hood for me. I don't think like that. That's cliquish to me, not to say I don't support other women but if you are wrong in my opinion...you are just wrong. Peace
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Member says:Posted: 01 Feb 10
Dear Ich and Big eyes. There is so much to respond to. Let me just address this Tatt situation. I like messing with her. But as far planting the seed for two women to fight. That wasn't intentional. Everything that was happening was "subtle". It was all subliminal after that AZ situation. Big eyes just got caught up in the situation. Me personally, I like Tatt. Tatt is just sneaky if you ask me. I noticed it after the AZ incident. Then she really got mad at me. LOL Tatt getting a kick out of this situation right now. Anyway, sticking to strictly the topics Ich said. We can disagree on the influence of Bill Cosby. I will say this he never "came out" like this back in the 80s and 90s. He has been rather 'loud" about the problems in the black community recently. I guess better late "than never". Sidney Poitier said he did "those movies" for the money also. I would have to research if he did it for political reasons or satire to send a message. You mention Bill Cosby was trying to "lead by example". I know he had a hard time trying to get the Bill Cosby show done. Nobody would believe a black doctor and his black wife being a lawyer. Considering, Bill Cosby was in the doctor's office hmmm very rarely. I rarely saw his wife at a law firm. LOL I guess it is all semantics. The house looked middle class, therefore, the black family was doing well. He was a pioneer. I will give you that. I can't say he was a hero. Al Sharpton is hero. He actually put his ass on the line for black people. I heard him lecture at my college years ago. I was blown away how he understands politics and how it affects the black community. He impressed me. Good Times, I really hated that show for some reason. Maybe, because it was depressing and stupid. Later on, the cast complained about the white writers killing off the daddy of the show. Perhaps, having white writers was a bad idea for doing a show about a black family in the projects. Esther Rolle was a phenomenal black actress. The only reason to watch the sitcom to be honest with you. Esther Rolle got a supporting actress nomination for "Driving Mrs Daisy". Ich you mention all the positives in the shows Good Times and The Cosby Show. But what do viewers get out of it? I pretty much watched it for the comedy value. I never learned any lessons. For example, when Theo threw a party and the house was a wreck. Watching it as a kid at the time, I was like shit clean that shit up and replace the furniture before pops comes home. It was a lot of threats of corporal punishment in the early episodes of the Bill Cosby show. The implication is the traditional black family beat their kids or threaten them. But they end up doing something "stupid" again. I think people assume "we get lessons" out of sitcoms. If that was the case, why is things worse for young black and women. Incarceration rates are higher; and teenage pregnancy is higher now, than ever before. You are from New Orleans, so I would go with your assessment on that. Yea it would be a tough comparison to compare Haiti and New Orleans. What is similar is the breakdown in lawlessness. My main point is it is true black people shouldn't harm black people. The reason it happens can be varied. The Haiti people are literally battling each other for food. They have to give women coupons so they will be able to get their share of "the food aid". I find that very disturbing. You would say "oh that is desperation' that is why they are acting like that. Now why can't that be applied to the United States and the inner city Because there "are" no real excuses as to why you can't make a living in the United States. I concede that point to you. Lastly, the Pat Robertson situation. You and I both Christians. But because what Pat said was "politically incorrect', you decided to sort of do a "slight of hand" by saying "well the earth had issues". You admit there was a pact concerning the Haiti people. So it is not far fetched to say that Haiti is cursed. You have to take the good and bad with the bible if you are a believer. For example, my church had a gay piano player. But he was "real good" at playing the piano. I said "the church don't condone homosexuality". Long story short, they tell me "well he is doing it behind closed doors and he is not flaunting it". No your compromising your beliefs because he can play the piano the well. These type of shenanigans go on in the church. It is amazing. That was a good debate though.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 01 Feb 10
Ichibod I have to say that there was some truth in what Queens said about the Tatted2death saga. Originally, I reached out to tatt after that whole smooches thing. I explained to her why I had NOT acknowledged her much for the same reasons that she uses now. I gave her compliments about her comments and she NEVER once responded to me and hadn't responded or acknowledged me up until now. So, for her to try and pretend like she is the "better" person is like a pig wearing lipstick to me. Now, I took note of this but I don't take this blog personally. She DID however, respond to "smooches" the very next post on the very next day. This led me to believe on MY OWN that there might be SOME truth to what Queens pointed out. I stick to disagreeing with some points she makes and that's what the blogs about. I have just as much right disagree with what someone post and that's as far as I take it. Peace but I won't let tatted2death "gloss over" this one.
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After going through some of the posts, I'm thinking maybe one of the disagreemnts may have come from a typo error, maybe? Comment by Wg110212 on 28 January 2010: "As I was reading the responses, many of you have some very valid points and some of you are insecure or as some have said afraid. I am a 40-year old black woman married to a 42-year old white man and believe me when I tell you he is all man. My “buns” as I call him because he has a nice butt, I know TMI, is from the old school. He opens doors, and gives gifts just because. If you all could see peoples expressions when he reaches his hand towards me to help me in and out of the car. We get a good laugh at the looks that we receive. Because almost everyone here does not have an issue with skin color, I say this to you all; do not stop looking gentlemen. I say gentlemen because I too am a Christian and it is true, “A man that finds a wife finds a good thing and she is a blessing from the Lord.” Women of color, stay white and white men stay black." ----- That was really a nice post, and I'm thinking the last sentence was simply a typo. Could Wg110212 have meant to say Women of color stay black and white men stay white, and not even realise she made the error?