Interracial dating or vengeance?

Posted by James, 30 Sep 08

interracial dating or vengeanceWarning: The article below may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The article is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out why people make the choices they make when it comes to interracial dating.

A visitor to John Cho’s IMDB page left this comment “I hope he dates a white girl.” The commenter possibly an Asian male elucidated that it would serve Asian women right if a hot and attractive Asian male ended up with a white woman; coz Asian women so frequently date white men.

Sorry bro. John Cho is married to an Asian (Kerri Higuchi).

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Before, when people made such comments, I used to assume probably these are just lonely people feeling betrayed by women or men of their races hence blaming them for their loneliness. Problem is that aint the case. Such comments pop up online all the time.

Take the example of Halle Berry’s IMDB page or blogs/sites that mention the interracial kid (Nahla) she just had with white Canadian model Gabriel Aubry. Trust me, there is a string of such remarks posted by black women. These black women not only applaud Halle for dating a white man but also express resentment against black men for not being in committed relationships with black women. And the argument goes: Black men are either in jail … are afraid of marriage … are dating white women … are dead. So, if they sit back and wait for them to get it together, they’ll be sentenced to being childless or alone.

The above comments are just stereotypes against black men and Asian women. So one can’t help but wonder; Do Asian men and black women end up in interracial relationships for different reasons than their female or male counterparts, respectively? Do they date interracially as a way of giving the middle finger to those they feel have betrayed them or are they avoiding being lonely?

There are lots of Asian women for Asian men; and black men for black women too. So, I don’t get this perception that black women and Asian men have been left behind. We know perception breeds action. So, can it be that these perceptions have influenced some Asian men and black women (those feeling betrayed that is) to date interracially?

I am not trying to say that Asian men and black women are interracial dating for vengeance. No! But then again, I thought we were moving way past such finger pointing until I saw Halle’s IMDB page, so with that in mind, I couldn’t help but wonder about that likelihood. Is this interracial dating for vengeance?

55 responses to "Interracial dating or vengeance?"

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  1.   EarthAngel1 says:
    Posted: 19 May 10

    Hello, am new to this site and blogging as well but I couldn't help but contribute to this discussion because I think it is really interesting. I think that some people who date outside of their race do so as a "preference based on experience" rather than vengence. I am a young black African female who dated a lot of black guys with disastrous results. Now don't get me wrong, this is not to say that all black men are like that,(just the ones I dated) infact I happen to know a lot of wonderful BM who have high moral values and treat women with interity and respect, unfortunately, they are all taken!! :) Anyway, ater all of these bad experiences, I met and dated a white guy for seven years, the longest and happiest relationship of my entire life. Nowadays, I shy away from relationships with black men because for some reason we just do not get along!

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  2. Posted: 17 Mar 10

    @ free33: ^5 to ya. I like the way you said what ya said.

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  3.   wonka says:
    Posted: 05 Mar 10

    Interracial Dating can certainly be vengeance,to be honest with you I think there's as much vengeance in interracial dating,(keyword DATING,not relationship) as anythingelse.Oh and thanks for the book triccinicci!!.

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  4.   triccinicci says:
    Posted: 30 Sep 09

    Edit: "Very little of it has truly to do with race (at the heart of the matter I am saying), thats just the card played to win whatever hand they are playing." Please overlook the other typos as I don't have the time to proofread as thoroughly during the week. Thanks. I truly enjoy this site and very much enjoy reading the different perspectives.

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  5.   triccinicci says:
    Posted: 30 Sep 09

    You know maybe it's just me. Or maybe that I don't completely know my way around this site. Why do the topics seemingly to polarize around Black (mostly American) men and womens battles interracial plain? I know I must be missing something. I don't expect an answer, but I was hopeing to learn or see how others handle interracial topics from a VARIETY of backgrounds. This is like the 5th topic I've seen where the topic or its support content speaks heavily on African American and non-American women and men. I'll discuss the topic in a moment, but are there other topics based on positive aspects of IRD that we could look at and discuss? Like how about if people dating interracially intermix friendship circles as well or do they just stick with people like themselves? Do people who date interracially have an impact on certain markets like housing or auto purchases? In other words, they may know other IRD couples so things of imporatance may be discussed and acted upon because they may have created a market onto themselves. I ask because I'm only getting a lot of "feeling" stuff from the topic headings. Whoever I date, I want me, him, and us to have a positive impact (so obviously I'm not dating anyone to "get back at" or some other vengeful tactic, lol) in our own lives and on society. So I think things that any other couple would have to face and make decisions on should be discussed here to. After all this is the place for it. ______________________________________ Now to the topic. I think there are people who date interracially as a tactic or statement of vengeance. Maybe more indirect as oppossed to direct. It's like having your cake and eating it too, depending on what's in that person's heart. Others take the decision to date outside of race as being vengefully done, say in the case of a community for example thinking a person who dates outside of the race is just trying to "get back at" at breaking the unsung moral code. Usually you hear this within families or close knit groups. I've certainly heard it from my intimates and in my community. Some people I know herald it ok, others I know look at me sideways. It's even come between me and a very close and very dear friend of mine who is male. We didn't speak for a while after I discovered how he truly felt. Since there was nothing to admonish, he couldn't say as he tried to, "oh you're just doing it for this or that (reason)", then he had to get over it. So it was good our friendship won out. We are friends again. I accept him as he is and he accepts me for who I am. Family members ranged, but most just want me to be happy with a man of my choosing. Some snide remarks were made, but most already "knew" I was going to date outside my race from the get go. Since interracial dating, by the time I was old enough to date anyway, was still a bit of a taboo most of the negative comments from family were made truly to gouge me. As in my family our very blood line sorta doesn't follow rules of a "pure blood" lineage. So most anything that was said early on when it became apparent I wasn't stuck on keeping racial mandates, was pretty much like the pot calling the kettle black. Of course when you mention such facts to people you already know one may as well be speaking to a brick wall. That just proves or at least shows, people do what they want to do and just use certain moral codes/mandates to buffer between themselves and anyone wanting to do something different. To me date who you want to but try to establish what your doing in a positive manner. We all know folks do what they want, good or bad. I've heard a lot of comments that make IRD sound as if it's all sex, only chemistry provoked by looks, etc. Couples have walked in front of me or made statements in my presence to gesture a put down that the Black man is not with an African American woman. Or that the girl (I've heard this about not just women of my culture, but other cultures too) is only dating him (usually a Caucasian man) because he's 'white' (white implying money, wealth, higher life station, etc). Others imply that a Man of Color only has what is looked upon as an advantage (as is the case with lots of people of influence both male and female) to date outside of his race due to his monetary influence. In other words the woman would not be with him, his fly looks or god like body no matter how juicy without the money and influence simply due to race. True? I think revenge is definetly a motive just like money, position or anything else which motivates the "heart" of a person. With my own eyes I have seen a Caucasian woman snatching, hitting (smartly across the top of the head) and loudly speaking down to her mixed child. She truly seemed to be making a poor imitation in demeanor and dress of "Tameka". She cursed him for not keeping up in the parking lot where he was almost hit by a car leaving a parking stall (It truly appeared she was wrapped in her conversation to, I presume the child's father. Neither of them were monitoring the child's safe crossing). The father saw this and said nothing. That definetely seemed vengeful or ignorant one. Would she have done that if her husband were of her race and she had a child who's father was not African American, or would she have just portrayed an outward example of what she perceived "White family's" behavior as being? Maybe that is what many of see. Just people doing "social type-casting". You know, copy cating. Now I would be upset if I saw this with any person and may have intervened on the child's behalf only or had a desire to. But truly under that action was the thought she may have done that because the child was not considered "white". I restrained myself only because both parents were there and I did not have the number to Child Protection. From that observation I derived if someone starts out with vengefulness as an ingredient to their love stew the digested part is passed to the children. That would happen in any relationship though and IRD is no different. I think it's the little nasty things that are done in the name of love that marks vengefulness and any other love based quirk. It's not specific to IRD. Who knows what really provokes these type of responses from people. Very little of it has truly to do with race (at the heart of the matter I am saying), that's just the card played to win whatever had they are playing. BUT! On the positive side, I've also seen people who just adore each other without the racial "politics" that must be contrived when dealing with an underlying cause like revenge-upon-the-masses-of-your-culture, lol! I am more grateful than ever to have been raised where I don't have to feel the sting of that fire. For the luck of the draw I've received compliments for relationships/date cycles rather it's been interracial or not. I'm gonna stick with that.

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  6.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 30 Sep 09

    TYRANT, I feel ya, man. What about Mystique from X-Men? Wow! Let me find a purple redhead like that in real life. Enough said.

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  7.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 29 Sep 09

    @ichibod One last thing. Will you people please stop mentioning colors of people that only exist in sci-fi movies. Black, white, red, green, purple, etc. If you saw a green or purple person in real life, call 911, NORAD, HAZMAT, Ripleys Believe It or Not, Guinness Book, or Jesus because something wouldnt be right with that picture. TYRANT: Lets not be so hasty to call NORAD or HAZMAT, because if Im lucky enough to come across an Orion slave girl-theyre green-Im going to TAKE my PLEASURELAUGHING.

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  8.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 29 Sep 09

    TYRANT: It may seem silly but these days I dont put anything past anyone, especially black women, when it comes to the subject of interracial dating. Now Im sorry if this offends black women, but hey, Im not posting to be politically correct. Before the advent of the internet, had you told me that there was a civil war going on between black men and women, and that interracial dating/marriage was one of the battlefields, I wouldve laughed in your face. Why? Because the idea of black men and women fighting each other was absurd, laughable, and yessilly. Having visited message boards and websites where I saw, firsthand, black men and women, not just bashing each other, but blaming each other for the problems that exist in our relationships and communities, my point of view has changed considerably. To add insult to injury, Ive watched as black women criticized black men for having the very features-nappy hair, full lips, and skin color that they themselves share. Are black men exempt from participating in the exact same behavior? No. When someone tells me that there arent black women who date out as a form of VENGENCE, Im going to say youre full of crap!

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  9.   Filipino says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 09

    I know some Asian guys who grew up in America and I was surprised that they had absolutely no desire for Asian girls. I think that growing up surrounded by white girls is the cause of that.

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  10.   free33 says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 09

    Oh Yea and I have met many women and was attracted because of what I saw, Black, White, Latina, Asian. What they look like might get ya in the door but its what you cant see that bring ya back for more. Man looks upon the outward appearance GOD looks upon the heart. Just because I see a Black Woman with a White Man what kind of issues do I have If I automatically assign alterior motives to it. WHy can't they just be IN LOVE??????????

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  11.   free33 says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 09

    These topics are funny! Really, I know are meant to be thought provoking and I guess they are but seriously,I will not call anyone out but some post are just ........well, funny. I have stated in other topics and will repeat myself in this one. Anyone ANYONE who cares about another persons relationship has issues. The racial make up, the reason for the racial make up, anything. I don't care if a Black woman dates white dudes and if my sisters do and he's treating her right well good for her, good for him. Show me someone who gives a flying expletive deleted about who, when or why a person dates another person and I'll show you a bitter, lonely person with Issues. P.S Halle, get ya toes twisted girl!!! To hell with what people think or Say! Do you.

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  12.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 28 Jun 09

    First off, nice posts from morninflower, blkandkorean, WoodSmoke, and especially anyone who mentioned Halle being bi-racial. Oh, boy. Not another topic where bloggers don't know how to read. James (the write of the article) has posted what people have said about interracial dating and how many of their opinons insinuate a vengeful perspective. Some bloggers have a problem with the article as a whole rather than comments that were pulled from another site regarding the topic at hand. That is the opinion of someone from another forum, not James himself. His opinions are as follows: "The above comments are just stereotypes..." "Do they date interracially as a way of giving the middle finger to those they feel have betrayed them or are they avoiding being lonely?" "So, I dont get this perception that black women and Asian men have been left behind." "I am not trying to say that Asian men and black women are interracial dating for vengeance. No! But then again, I thought we were moving way past such finger pointing..." His views are totally unbiased, but some bloggers, not only in this topic, attack the premise of his articles when the examples he uses are to support the issues raised, not his own opinions. Why and how can a person have a problem with an unbiased article and totally miss the comments that support the basis for it? Do you just read and misinterpret the article then post a your comments without reading the 10, 20, 50, or 100+ comments that preceded yours? As many of them indicate, there ARE people who date outside of their race to get even (read more of this site's blogs). There are ARE people who don't date to get even. Many reasons may sound silly to some people, but they are reasons and opinions that groups of indivuals DO have and they are entitled to have them. I, for one, date women who I am physically attracted to and whom I feel share the same ambitions and goals in life as myself. I'm not going to say, "I prefer such and such race of women, I just always have. I feel that they are easier to blah blah blah and they do this, that, and the other more that some other race or my own." Someone can say that, but I know that I can easily find a person of any race or gender to prove them wrong or make them look stupid... depending on what mood I'm in. But to each his/her own. One last thing. Will you people please stop mentioning colors of people that only exist in sci-fi movies. "Black, white, red, green, purple, etc." If you saw a green or purple person in real life, call 911, NORAD, HAZMAT, Ripley's Believe It or Not, Guinness Book, or Jesus because something wouldn't be right with that picture.

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  13.   Aaziah says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 09

    Opps! I for got to mention, I was and still am good friends with a white womanIve know for 15 plus years, who only dates black men. We've spoke openly and candidly on the subject for years!(Wa. State) and she shared with me, her reason and her girlfriends reasons, ( whom also only dated black men) as to WHY they only date them. She said they date only Black men because black men put them on PEDALS! She contnued to say they dont get that from white men. Black men feel special dating them and so do the white women! SPECIAL! AND, ADDED THEY BOTH, HER & HER BLACK MAN, ENJOY THE FRICTION that they receive from their counterparts! Attention that they would NOT receive if they were with their own race. People would just NOT notice them! Some people have to go out of their way to get noticed, others do not, I guess.

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  14.   Aaziah says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 09

    I wonder has anyone noticed that when a black woman prefers to date only black men, she's limiting herself. She's not considered open-minded, etc. But when white women, and black men (who by the way both say race doesnt matter) say that they exclusively date each other, isn't THAT race mattering?! lol I mean, really, race does matter to them. They only date white women and they only date black men! Anyone who choses to date one particular race, it matters! And to those who have a problem with some refering to Halle Berry as a blackwomen, you should ask her mother what Halle is! Halle is from my hometown, Cleveland, Ohio and I know for a fact, Halle's mom raised her as a black woman! Yes her mother is white. But, mothers CARRY the child, the father is the SEED! Read your Bibles! The Seed is the dominant gene. If you plant an apple seed ur gonna get a apple tree no matter where you plant it! Halle come from a black mans seed, and black is NOT just a skin disorder, its a STATE-OF-MIND! Also, can we give equal time to the question, Does Black men and/or White women date for vengeance?! Because they both dont like black women?! Or, is the question not being asked, because white women dont want to know and black men dont want white women to look into it? Because that would mean that black men who only date white women are lying themselves, white womenand anyone who listens, about the real reason that they do it!

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  15. Posted: 15 Mar 09

    I come from a fairly diverse background and I have a very laid-back attitude toward interracial dating. I think the very idea of dating outside one's race in an effort to make a point or because of preconceived notions....is ridiculous. Personally I just date guys who show an interest in me if I like them back. I just go with the flow. My heritage as an African-American is both important and relevant in my relationships......but honestly thats not the first thing I'm thinking about when a cute guy approaches me.

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  16.   Robbyd says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 09

    I am a divorced white male, age 54 dating a black woman and this is the first time I have dated outside my race. I did not go looking for a "black" woman but was simply looking for the woman with whom I had the most "connection". I met and went out with several white women but found that my truest connection happened to be with the black woman I have fallen in love with. I have introduced her to my siblings and children and all are very happy for me. I have encountered absolutely NO negativity from anyone we have come in contact with. It was a privilege to share the experience of participating in the election and inauguration of our country's first black president with my girlfriend. Both her friends and mine have been totally accepting of our relationship primarily because they see how happy we are together. Maybe it is due to the types of people we both tended to surround ourselves with, but I can't say we have experienced anything but positive things since we started dating 6 months ago. I know there are plenty of racists still out there, but so far we haven't had to experience any of those kinds of problems. And if we do, it is their problem, not ours! I can't imagine why race really matters anymore. It doesn't matter to me or my girlfriend and that is what really counts.

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  17.   mocha66 says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 09

    No one dates outside of there race to get even. That's SILLY! I date white men because it is different. I am very familar with my own race. I want to learn more about different cultures. It is an openminded thing to do and mainly I do it but I break the color lines that divide us by saying HEY WE ARE ALL EQUAL! I am openminded and refuse to be told who and what to do by a closed minded set of racial people. Yes it is your face and I think no race is superior to the next we are all beautiful. Now chew on that! Finally not all balck men are in jail dating white chicks or losers. I refuse to believe the editor who wrote that in the blog article with Halle Berry. It sounds so made up and so what lots of white closed minded Americans think about black men, There are awesome black men in the world. White men can be just as bad a blck men they are not angles.

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  18.   SgtRock says:
    Posted: 03 Feb 09

    Race will always be an issue to those that make it and issue. For the people dating outside their race it is not an issue. We all pick the person who can fill the need for love we have. regardlessif that person is red, yellow, blue, black, brown or purple. The bottom line is everyone want someone to love them no matter the color.

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  19.   WoodSmoke says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 09

    I grew up with Mexican-Americans, I was taught color-blindness as a child. Near 50, and finally,last year I noticed that in a room or auditorium filled with people, I naturally gravitate toward the darkest people. This is where I am the most comfortable. I am thick. A majority of White men prefer slender and girlish. Even when I am 3% body fat, I am healthy at about 170. Black men have always shown interest. After my kid grew up, and 3 years of being alone, having numerous black men ask me out, I finally did. I found my match. These men like what I have. I like them. I did get married to an African American man. I work with many Black men and women who have at the least Bachelor's degrees. Most have two degrees and many Master's. These accomplished and wonderful people are quiet about their success. It is too bad, because mainly the squeaky wheel is the one bemoaning what others have caused them. I wish we could hear more from educated and successful Blacks, because now it is okay to be this kind of Role Model, after all - look at the Highest Office in America & His Beautiful Wife. Bless

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  20.   Ricki36 says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 09

    Race will always be an issue,Obama is only just the beginning of the end of racism.The truth is there will always be people who hate people for reasons,is the world we live in full of demons and devils wicked hateful mindless ignorant crazy forever killing and destroying all that is good is there job and they will never take a break from it.

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  21. Posted: 21 Jan 09

    race is no longer a big deal but always a issue if you wish for it to be, Just witness the presidental inauguration this beautiful day. love who loves you and vice versa. Blessings to all. No one can ever make me feel less than who I am, I am Woman, Disabled Army Veteran (Desert Storm) Grandmother to Five, l0th daughter and 12th child to my late parents. Mother to a TSGT Air Force Flight Safety Instructor, 2 of the most gorgeous daughters any mom would be proud of, Cherokee, Blackfeet, Scottish, and Black Americans, we are! I'm blessed

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  22.   loveall says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 09

    You must love all people regardless of race, but be very cautious and dont get caught up with a individual who may be racist or plain ignorant. Some black people hate blacks and other races as some white people hate white people or other races. I am a black male who experience black people hate toward me often. What irks me more is when black women I will attempt to speak to, or acknowledge will turn their heads(their heads) or roll their eyes, poke their mouths out,and not speak to me when I speak to them, but will pass me and speak to another race who will not acknowledge the sister. I get tired of black women talking that crap about their is no good black men. I get a lot of white women who speak, smile, or give me complements(skin color dont make me proud). Maybe, some might say this an act by the white woman, but this act is a good start. I am going to speak back and socialize with any one who is willing to socialize with me. I am often told that black women are intimidated by me(strong,tall, clean cut), but black women can relate to the thuggish mentality. I always try to be a good positive example to all. I get tired of black people fighting, killing each other or fighting the fight for other races against black people. Other races loose respect for you when you perform like this, but respect yourselves. A lot of times when I go to a business or restaurant, I get poor customer service from blacks or whites, I complain. Now, what mess me up is that some owners or managers dont give a damn how a black employee treat a black customer as long as the black employee give the white customer good service. Black people should be know better, but some of this crap is hereditary or taught at home. When you hear your parents or someone in your home putting down blacks, but on the other hand putting Mr. or Mrs. white person on a pedestal, this is internal race racism. There are a lot of good black people as well as a lot of good white people and other races out there. If you believe in GOD or whomever you believe in, you should know these double-standards due to race or skin color is not right. I will always speak to any race who make eye contact, acknowdledge or try to speak to me. THE BOTTOM LINE IS IF A BLACK PERSON DISLIKE ME BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF MY SKIN, THEN IT IS STRONG THAT THIS PERSON IS NOT CONTENT WITH THEMSELVES OR OTHER PEOPLE IN THEIR FAMILY DUE TO THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN. I have had blacks who have gone to my boss and snitch on me about me not giving them a raise. This same boss had previously told me that the company was better off without these employees because they were not producing or kissing ____ and laughing at stale jokes. These blacks did not know I was the reason they were able to keep their jobs. NOW TO END THIS JOURNEY, YOU MUST DATE MARRY ANY RACE or WHOMEVER YOU CAN GET ALONG WITH, FALL IN LOVE WITH, BE HAPPY WITH, REGARDLESS OF RACE OR SKIN COLOR. BUT BE CAREFUL BECAUSE RACISM CAN BE WITHIN RACE OR EXTERNAL. I am not sure what you believe, but I have no belief of separatism of skin color in HEAVEN.

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  23.   Ricki36 says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 08

    Love comes in all colors,for some its white for others its brown.Its not for others to choose or like,but for those who want it and except it for what it is.No one can decided or choose love for you,it is only in the eyes of the beholder of what makes them happy.

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  24.   charlaranae says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 08

    See everyone has different oppion and different taste.I am a white women and I perfer black men.Don't know why never spent alot of time thinking about it.I know what I like.I believe you give a man respect he will be good to you no matter what color his skin but I just Love that brown skin.

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  25.   bdsista says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 08

    I agree with thekid47, a person may be motivated to date outside their race because of lack of/poor experiences with someone of their own race, but once you get in the water, you still get wet. Gabriel is a very handsome man and I admire Halle for getting on with her life and choosing someone who chooses to respect and honor her. I think what may happen to someone who may select someone outside of their comfort zone for revenge is they end up liking the person and then the motivation shifts to working on the relationship. Do Black men have problems, yes but not all as do most men. I agree there are shortages (within age ranges), but bottom line is whether or not you are compatible.

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  26.   nefret58 says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 08

    I don't blame Hallie one bit...I'd date him, too, if I had been younger...as cute as he is...just look at those eyes...and the child is adorable. Just look at the two of them--there is definitely a chemistry going on there. Black, white...who cares...it's nice to see a site like this... Love is where you find it. Period. And this is coming from a 58 yr. old woman.

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  27.   JohnLove says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 08

    Yes ,the bottom line is that a woman or a man wants a mate that love them as they love their mate,for who they are and not what they look like.from their heart.that is what makes the difference.

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  28.   JohnLove says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 08

    HI, I just wanted to add a small comment. I believe that if all kids were taught from a small child up until their adult hood. to love everybody regardless to the color of the outside of their body, not to hate any one,maybe you might hate some of the awfull things they might do to you but not hate the person. But pray for them and look at what they have in their heart, not what they look like on the outside,all of our soul belong to God.He don't have respect of person and neither do I , I love every one regardles of the color of the skin, I believe that the difference of color of skin just enhance the appearance of the couples. smile.

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  29. Posted: 14 Oct 08

    aaarrghh! thanks for the disclaimer at the beginning of the article otherwise I would have taken offense to it. First of all - I am so sick and tired of the stereotyping that is our black men - Goodness! It's not funny at all! There are many wonderful, successful, hardworking, loving, courageous black men out there trying to take each day at a time just like any other white man. So enough with the sterotypes. As to whether I date interracially as a way of "sticking it" it to the black man - that is a bunch of B.S.! I date white men and white men only because it is preference for me, I think they are sexy, kind, considerate, romantic etc.. the list is endless ..and oh yeah the black on white (vise-versa) is a huge turn on for me as well. - Have I met some white men that have been absolute *******'s? absolutely! But I take it as a lesson learned and move forward. Love is where you find it..and i hope that no matter where that may be; my prayer is that we all find it.

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  30.   marielena says:
    Posted: 12 Oct 08

    I am puertorican and Im proud of what I am. But for example if I was born black or asian I will be proud as well.I date who I want to and I dont care about the color.What I care about is his heart and how intelligent he is manners etc...Some people are so ingnorant and that is the reason we have so much hate.I like black men but yes I do admited that I feel more secure around people for my culture because of the way we behave we are not perfect this is about language food values and the way I was raiced but I love black men they have something that I am atracted to...

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  31. Posted: 11 Oct 08

    There are many Black men that date outside their race. The notion that all Black women are upset at this is untrue. I for one don't mind if Black men date outside their race because I do the same. The only Black women that are either mad or bitter are the ones who sit around at home waiting for their ideal Black man. They are probably the ones who should just "go with the flow" and date whomever they find attractive. Most of the time, Black women wont date a White man because they feel like they are betraying their race. Thats ridiculous! If you limit yourself because of prejudice then your bound to be unhappy. Take for instance the Tyra Banks show where they examined dating and relationships. The Black woman on the show ended up being the only single one because she refused to date an Asian man. He was very attractive but she only wanted to date a Black man.. People from all races shouldn't limit themselves because by doing that, you set yourself up for failure.

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  32.   supuu1985 says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 08

    all i have to say is. CRAZY THINKING,,,and sounds a little ignorant.

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  33.   newlatina says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 08

    In what year this guy is living? Well it looks like he is very ignorant!! Oh well, this days is good to be interrracial, because you want something different, I'm Latina and I love white mens and blacks also, so is not difference for me that all. Just live your own life and live the others to be happy.

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  34.   E=MC2 says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 08

    I think the writer of this article is a bit narrow minded

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  35.   thekid47 says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 08

    Well, the premise of the article is problematic, because it doesn't deal with the construct of race and how it plays in the relationships between genders. The other thing, that is even more problematic and you see it in some of the comments made about the article and the article itself, ostensibly among Americans of African descent who are male, there is only 5 possibilities-which is false, there is a possibility number 6, which is, that there are rather descent American males of African descent, but there is not interest-for whatever reason. The statement that most are in prison, belies a simply fact. That is impossible. There are only 2.3 or so million people in the prison system in toto-ALL RACIAL/ETHNIC GROUPS. There are over 30,000,000 Americans of African Descent, and I have seen the number as high as 41,000,000 estimate. So the statement that there are none who are descent, is totally false. I know to many who are decent. Now, why some are not interested in them, that is another thing. But please, don't say that is all there is, because it is not so. That being said, whatever reasons there are for people dating, some are reasons that are genuine as love it knows no color, as the old song used to go, or some other rationale. That is up to the person, but the claim that all are in jail or mostly in jail, is totally false-if it were true, you are missing at least, in rote numbers, over 15,000,000 people--There is a phrase good enough for government work-but missing 15,000,000 people? To quote Seinfeld, 'Not bloody likely.' Regarding the comments about whether Ms. Hailey is black or not, she understands herself to be black, and people have that freedom too. The other issue, regarding Asian men etc., that is a function of also values, where one grew up, etc. Again, love among persons who have simular experiences, professional, schooling, tend to break down barriers, and people can approach each other perhaps without so much baggage and see the person, not the fact that they are 'an Asian' male/female, 'a White' male/female or 'African American' male/female, and so on, and see the other human on the other side. One other thing, though, stereotypes, work all kinds of ways, and in dating as in anything else, one needs to deal with that, or one can 'stereotype' oneself out of happiness.

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  36.   missyw says:
    Posted: 09 Oct 08

    once upon a time that may have been the case, but that's in the past. I like to believe black women are above that nonesense. I love my black men but if he cant be the man I know he should be and I can find what I want in another race of men, then why would I waste my time dwelling on what someone else has to say about it. Life is way too short for that bull----. It is already tough enough to find a good man without putting limitations on your selection.lol Love the one your with and move on.

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  37.   StarSaver says:
    Posted: 08 Oct 08

    Color or race is only an issue if you make it one.

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  38.   nic281 says:
    Posted: 08 Oct 08

    Hi I am a black woman and I have dated white men and people should date who ever makes them happy it really don't matter what the skin color is because we all come from dust and at the end we become dust, so enjoy your life and if the person makes you happy go for it. I have dated white men who were dogs and also black men who was dogs it's not about the skin color but the person at the end of the day love don't see color only the personality of the person you're loving. I love my white boys and it really don't matter what anyone says love who you love and don't look back.

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  39.   sabadgirl says:
    Posted: 06 Oct 08

    people have different reasons for why they date people of a different race. for some it's mostly based on their surroundings if you live in the hood and you are around mostly black people chances are you are going to date a black person. For those whose in a environment where they have more of an selection then it's just what they are attracted to. It doesn't make sense to date white men if you don't like white men to get back at black men. that's just stupid. And yes Halle Berry is not black. and my boyfriend is hot it don't matter what color he is.

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  40. Posted: 05 Oct 08

    In response to this article, I will say that it should not matter. If a black woman likes a white man, yea! Good for her. Vice versa. If asian women date black and white guys, yea. And vice versa. My only problem with this argument is when it comes to interracial dating, when the motive is not, "I like him because he loves me for who I am.......can relate to me", etc, but rather, "I am dating a white man, because socially I will be better off........I am dating an asian woman because they are just better than black or white women...........all are untrue. We need to be distinctively clear.........WE ARE ALL AMERICANS, WHETHER ASIAN AMERICAN, AFRICAN AMERCIAN, etc. We might find an asian culture, or a middle eastern culture and their women, for instance unique. But lets not forget,......in their culture, whether they are very unique and feminine, that is because it is in their culture and society. Bring one of them over, and they adapt into the american way. Every ethnic group has their share of conceited people, hateful people, smart, sassy, exotic, pretty, intelligent, faithful, unfaithful people...and the list goes on. But that doesn't and should not conclude in ones mind that one race is better than the other. For instance, with me, I love actually asian women like chinese, japanese, korean women. However, it is just preference, and not motive of, "they are better." A korean, or white, or black, they are all the same thing: women! You know........just like ice cream. Hagan doggs cookies and cream vs like dreyers chocolate chocolate chip. It doesn't matter; it is ice cream.

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  41. Posted: 05 Oct 08

    James, For you to say there are lots of Black men for Black women is just crazy. That is definitely NOT true. Please research the statistics. I applaud Halle (whom I love) not because she is dating a white man, but because she appears to be very happy after a string of failed relationships, and she has a beautiful little baby. Personally, I believe that all nationalities have men who are no good as well as men who are wonderful. But my question for you is, who in the world dates anyone as a means of getting back at their own race? That is a little crazy and I have never heard of such a thing.

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  42.   Natanya says:
    Posted: 05 Oct 08

    Halle Berry is not black. Stop the racist/ brainwashed one drop rule mentality. Even if she were black, she should date whomever she pleases. --------- Sweet 1976 I agree with you entirely. Where do you live? That may have something to do with your friends' comments.

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  43.   sweet1976 says:
    Posted: 05 Oct 08

    Many black women who date interracially do say there are no good black men out there and this forces them to consider interracial dating. I think this is said as a way to defend themselves against all the backlash. My black friends (with the exception of those who date like I do) are very unwelcoming of my dating preference and have even tried to imply that I would be married if I would just choose black. The facts are that I just don't meet a lot of black men who are interested in me. I meet more white men and so I date more white men. End of story. While some black women may sound angry at black men I think what they are really angry about it a double standard that pats black men on the back for "bagging" a white girl, but continues to treat us as traitors for dating white. I hope in time society will wake up and realize that what's important is that people are happy - not that they live according to everyone else's expectation. And on a side note I encourage black women and Asian men to go beyond dating white and consider dating each other. Afterall, the wider you cast your net...

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  44.   Enoch says:
    Posted: 05 Oct 08

    Since, a child receives genes both from the Father and Mother a bi-racial child has both parents genial background. So, Ms. Barry is not white or black! She is a human being like everyone else should be! As a African-American Jew, I have the gene pool of both Jewish and African-American forebearers. Both of my people have suffered hardships throughout mankinds history. Southern Slavery and Concentration Camps of Hitler's Germany are a part of my proud history. All of us as human beings must take the next step and love each other period! Enoch

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  45.   Huh says:
    Posted: 04 Oct 08

    We are forgetting a very important fact. Halle Berry is an mixed-race person. Her mother is white and her father is black. A little bit of research would have revealed this. She also grew up primarily with her mother since her parents were divorced. She may very well find white men attractive because of her exposure to them as a child or she may just have no real preference either way since she has been with black men as well. The white man she is with is so beautiful to look at that any woman of any color would have to be blind not to be attracted to him. He is the type of man who is universally hot and they look happy together. That is the most important thing...I applaud Halle for finding happiness at last with someone who loves her. Who could ask for anything more?

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  46.   urgrlnxdr says:
    Posted: 04 Oct 08

    There is no vengence when a black female dates outside her race, regardless of what the perception maybe, it all comes down to attraction, women and men are attracted to the opposite sex, and whether that woman or man is black, white, purple, or grey it comes down to here's a man and a woman of mixed race if they are attracted to each other there is nothing that anyone can do to stop it.

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  47.   yryrizaaol says:
    Posted: 03 Oct 08

    The writer of this thing sounds a bit confused.

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  48.   1rockgodess says:
    Posted: 01 Oct 08

    Load of quantum bumcum! Black women are humans too and we dont care if a guy is blue red green pink or violet...if we like him we date him and stick with what's in there so dont ever post trashy articles like that on us..besides some asian dudes have made passes at me, and several have said it's easy for them to get asian girls. so where the hell does this farfetched story come from?... Think twice before posting such articles. Just because a few people are perverted and think marrying and dating another race is a vindictive action dont mean the whole race is like that... it's just a 2percent from the 100 so please spare us the un-necessary information.

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  49.   lilyrose57 says:
    Posted: 01 Oct 08

    Exactly and perfectly put--sweetheart63.

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  50. Posted: 01 Oct 08

    lmao, this was a funny article- especially the part about black men being in jail or dead...hahaha Anyway, dating outside one's one race is a matter of personal opinion and choice- i don't see where vengence would get into this. I am black, and don't give a flying foot what type of girl a black guy is dating: they can both jump in a lake for all i care. I date non-black males coz i personally dont find black men attractive (at all!). I don't know how that can be possible, but it is. It's the same way that i would never picture myself with a Chinese man, for example, coz i don't think chinese men are attractive (to me at least). So, in other words, Halle Berry likes it the way Thandi Newton does, the way Iman does, the way Cheleblue does, and the way i do. SO WHAT?? Big deal! Some women are haters, yes. But hating is in words, not actions, certainly not dating!!

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