Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?
It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is why some white guys are opening themselves to black women? Let’s concentrate on that.
Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.
However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman’s confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity…? Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.
So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?” Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?
Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.
Bottom line, you don’t have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.
Tags: online dating, asian white dating, black-white relationships
Popularity: 100% [?]
Wow this is popular topic! To ensure the page loads in a reasonable amount of time, we are only showing the most recent 200 of 2897 comments
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 March 2010:
(Open the door after a long day of work)
“Lawdy mercy” the peanut gallery is still here. Queen Latifah now wants to “rephrase what she said” earlier.
“Okay, on to the suject at hand. Well if I said experts let me rephrase that. What I meant was from my experience that religion is usually a deal breaker for me when it comes to men because they aren’t open to it. But some experts think you shouldn’t even bring it up for awhile but I think that’s crazy. You get all interested in the man, then he drops the bomb on you that he either doesn’t believe in God or he refuses to keep an open mind about it. It’s a difficult thing.”
You know what they should throw you out of “church”. Once again, do these men know about each other Queen Latifah????????????????? Stop backtracking on your statements. You are talking about deal breakers. I think a deal breaker is finding out the woman you courting is with two men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got the nerve to lecture other black women on this board and you got sexy lingerie for two white men! I heard you are adding “Sal” to your list. You can never have enough white men huh, and a couple of “semi” tough guy Latino men. This so-called Lawyer Sal embezzles drug proceeds for the Mexican cartel allegedly. You crooked lawyer, no wonder you hide your identity all over the place.
Sal, stop ducking and hiding are you married or not? You are the moral compass of this room. Answer the question because sellout black women are looking for “good men”.
Big eyes you are a good woman to put up with these condescending black women on the board. It almost like they are snobs. She makes it a point to “say she got two Christian men. Last time I checked, Christian men don’t want a “loose” woman. To bad they don’t know ‘what is going on”. I wonder if she invited “both men” to her church. Sit them right down next to each other and let them sing “Negro spirituals”.
Who wants a woman “eying” other men because she is too insecure to make that “1 date” work for her. Her phone ringing in the middle of “dinner”. She excusing herself to the bathroom to answer her cell phone. Your country ass is not fooling me “Queen Latifah”.
(Man slamming my hand on the table). I didn’t even want to come back. I am sick and tired of these sellout black women using white men.
Do you have any shame at this point? You still bringing up “Christianity”.
To be continued. (Let me take my white dress shirt and tie off).
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
Blackplanet wants to know Andy, are you engaged while you hitting on all the sisters?
LOL. Now considering the fact that I post on this site quite often lately, wouldn’t a wife have noticed by now? hmmmmm. Of course a fiancé would have probably noticed by now as well. Makes you wonder about your claim of engagement.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 March 2010:
Let me address this crooked Lawyer Sal
He said this statement about black men
“I do agree ethnocentric jealousy exists in many groups, but online I tend to encounter it from Black males the most, so those are the ones I comment on the most. When any other group kicks in I shoot them down as well.”
(Throwing hands up) Now we are the problem? This Latin tough saying he shoots black men down. The same man that refuses to tell people he got a woman. He won’t even say if he is married. But running around here like god almighty himself.
Black men only address you when you stick your nose in our business. Black women are our business. You claim you live in the black community with your “stable” of black women and Latin women. But want to lecture black men on how to treat black women.
People may dislike me but I have nothing to “hide”. You said you wasn’t even registered on this website. Why is that? You claim you are here for debates. What are you exactly “debating”.
You are just a Latino “Mail womanizer that manipulates black women. I got a degree in Criminology. You duck more than Marquez did when Floyd Mayweather beat on his ass.
Again, are you married to a black woman or not? Do you have a black girlfriend or not?
All you have to do is answer. I am sure your “stable of black and Latino girls” will not desert you.
Crossing dressing Latino tough guy allegedly slapping down black men.
That is a joke. I am heading to the gym.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
Now he is a Time Warner Criminologist. LMAO!!
And he acts like he owns Black women. Like he birthed them or something. Hahahahaha!
He fakes the shit more than Mayweather who refuses to fight Pacquiao or any MMA fighter.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 2 March 2010:
I don’t mind sharing my experiences with other people if I think it’ll help that person. People can think what they want, they do anyway but do I feel obligated to justify myself? No, not especially to someone who doesn’t know me.
That’s my answer.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 March 2010:
Dear Sal
I am going to take the bullet out of that gun right now! I am not engaged or have a “girlfriend”. (This happened very recently). Again, nothing to hide punk. LOL Let me take the other “bullet” out of that gun because I “cut her loose”, not the other way around.
That is all I am going to say about that concerning my personal life. I do my talking on my blog.
Try again
Now are you married, engaged, or have a girlfriend?
Trying to shift the subject?
I am heading to the gym right now.
For the record, I hardly go on Blackplanet. Most people are on Facebook. I hardly go on that too!
Sorry “Marquez”, I am like Floyd Mayweather, I keep beating that ass!
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 2 March 2010:
A true interracial love story is Roger Ebert and his wife Chaz. They have been together for 18 yrs and she stood by him during his cancer. That is true love.
Comment by tamn8ercl on 2 March 2010:
@Sal
Really Sal?!?!?!?!?!
Again with this idiot?!?!? I see we have something in common. Can’t walk away from someone who is begging for a kick in the ass without helping them out with their request. Try, love!!!!
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
Yeah, Roger Ebert is a great example.
So Queen got dumped. LOL. No wonder he has become active again. She must have left him for a White guy.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 March 2010:
(Eating popcorn)
I have degree in Criminology. I never said criminologist.
Now are you married, engaged, or have a girlfriend?
Why are you keep ducking the question?
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
@ tamn8ercl
I know, I know. It’s just, he is so easy!! OK, OK. I’ll behave. I’m out.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
OK, OK last one. I PROMISE!!!
Did you mean Why are you still ducking the question or did you mean why do you keep ducking the question?
You are the one who studied criminology, so investigate. I am the one who studied law so I plead the fifth.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 March 2010:
Sal
You’re wife is coming home or girlfriend?. You better leave.
Take it easy. Hope to see you on my blog again.
LOL
I hope she finds a white man to be with. LOL No, I really mean it. I got nothing bad to say about her. I am a “STAR” and she is not moving in “my direction”. I mentioned this on my blog quite often. I have been dumped before. But I cut her loose, she was really on “thin ice” already. I could have done that Valentine’s day. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She said ” Oh you talking to “N***”. I said you are in no position to question me girl. LOL See, I am done talking about it for now.
By the way the woman from Florida is not Mrs “Kitty”.
See, I am not the bad guy. I gave her enough rope to hang herself. She knew I liked another girl in “Florida”. We previously met in New York when I first wrote my blog. She wanted to meet the “Blog Legend” Laurelton Queens. So I took her to the movies and dinner. But, I put that off trying to be “loyal” to the game. I won’t go into any further. I do my writing on my blog like I said.
There are plenty of black women to choose from.
Now go back to you’re “two white men”, who clearly are not even “serious” about you.
Look for ” IF TOMORROW COMES FOR SELLOUT BW” AND THE FOLLOW UP ALBUM ‘THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW FOR SELLOUT BW”.
(Laughing)
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 March 2010:
Dear Sal
I don’t duck any question you ask me.
By the way how is you’re wife or girlfriends doing?
Oh yea, you are pleading the fifth.
You must be a “public defender” or immigration Lawyer.
Just tell people what you are about.
This is not the courtroom lol. Pleading the fifth on what exactly? You damn “Spanish rice eating” prick.
LOL
This is not “Law & Order”. All you do is interpret the law to “Spanish” speaking illegal immigrants”. Some low income Spanish girl with no visa you take advantage of is impressed by that. Maybe, even a black girl with a “nursing certificate” might be impressed. You don’t fool me.
(Shaking my head) This does not make you a man!
I will be back. (Closing the door)
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
@Bamababe
Yes, Robert Ebert and his wife are a good example but also Matt Stone one the two creators of the notorious show South Park.[URL=[http://www.blackgirlsrockit.com/2008/12/married-matt-stone-and-angela-howard.html]orious South Park.s show South Park
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 2 March 2010:
@Bigeyes Matt Stone? Did he have cancer and is he married to a sista?
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
LOL, no I mean they are a good example of a successfully married interracial couple between a caucasian man and black woman,something that people seem to think is so rare.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=D&q=http://www.blackgirlsrockit.com/2008/12/married-matt-stone-and-angela-howard.html&usg=AFQjCNEgU-WXwIHAc80_02DFhuUWJsH4Iw
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
LOL my other comment with the hyperlink of their picture is awaiting moderation because of the hyperlink.
No he doesn’t have cancer but he is married to a sister and he isn’t broke, a criminal, he’s talented and attractive. It’s just an example of an interracial marriage that some seem to think is so rare and unlikely.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 2 March 2010:
Girl see I learned something new. I want to make a list of all the famous bw/wm relationships.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
Just google Matt Stone and Angela and it should come up right away a picture of them. She is a beautiful black woman who got her a good one,LOL.It shocked me too. go on and make that list;you will be surprised at how many there are:-)
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
Erica Dunlap (Miss America 2004) & Husband, Brian Kleinschmidt
Suzan Lori-Parks (Pulitzer Playwright & MacArthur Award winner) and Husband, Paul Oscher (Award-winning Blues Guitarist)
Eve (Rapper) and fiance, Shane Powers (Actor)
Stacey Dash and husband Emmanuel Xuereb
A ton more here
http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
ok what’s going on? Why was his link accepted right away and mine wasn’t???My link is being moderated,wt??LOL who cares as long as it can be googled.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 2 March 2010:
I didn’t know Eve was engaged to a white man? Where have I heard of Shane Powers before got to look him up. @BE Girl Matt looks much better now then he did back then. And his wife looks very classy and beautiful.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
I think he’s cute,LOL. I think he’s actually jewish too. Oh yes I forgot about Eve and Serena williams, you probably already know about her though. Robert De Niro, Tina Turner,Even brad pitt has dated sisters;I always suspected him,lol, he has features and bone structure similar to a black man’s to me,lol. OOh them lips ha ha. I’m a christian but I ain’t dead,LMBO(laughing my butt off)
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 2 March 2010:
Well you know Mr. Big, Chris Noth is about to marry his black gf.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
oh yes I have seen them together but I thought they were already married…bit of foreshadowing then,lol.
Comment by Mssexysapia on 2 March 2010:
I just recently started reading this and i think that Mr Queens is very interesting. Have you noticed that every time a black female makes a comment staying the opinions of and African american male, that he makes it know that we dont know what the black man is thinking. Yet time and time again he seems to be “getting into the psyche of the black woman.” So basically we as black women cannot possible comprehend the vast mind of the black man. But because black women are so “simple” and he is so far superior he can summarize the lot of us into one sad and pathetic category. What more Mr queens is so far superior to everyone else in intellect that he now can not only speak for inferior black females but he now has the market on what white men are thinking as well. You truly do fascinate me. No one knows better than you do. When others throw valid arguments all you manage to do it spin them around and turn it into a black woman is ignorant and cant possibly comprehend. Well dear i am sorry to tell you but you stand alone. Sure you have a right to your opinion. And i applaud that, but at times you speak as if you just want to hear your self talk. You rhetoric is that of the past. Not everyone agrees with me for dating white men, but i have that right, and i have the right to do as i choose without being looked down at as being ignorant or a sell out. Last time i checked i was a living breathing, thinking rationale adult who can make my own choices. As someone said earlier, who died and made you God to tell me that what the person i love, because they lack Melanin, its wrong. Love especially real love is hard to find whether its same color or different and if you find it regardless of race you embrace it and hold on to it. How dare you say that a white man is not capable of loving and caring about a black woman the way a black man can. If in this great big world a person is lucky to find the person they connect you should applaud it. right now statistics say that 40 % of black women will never get married. Its because of this mindset, that if i cant find a black man then i can not be happy or whole. Love is love plain and simple. If a person can find and attain the real thing, then love whether its within your race or outside can withstand anything and everything. Even know at all with messianic complexes like you.
FYI
a Black woman is strong, determined,opinionated, a survivor, and the fact they have to put up with men like you puts them at the top of the list.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
No, mine don’t go through all the time.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
So anyway,
Ladies, what do you expect to find here? I am curious.
While I did end up meeting some cool people on here which are good friends, I don’t know if this is the best place to meet someone when you have a huge chance that the person is looking for a stereotype. You are going on profiles that say what they supposedly do, instead of looking in places where those activities occur, and bumping into men there.
I’m not saying that you should stop trying here, but explore event sites. You will meet a lot more like minded people.
w (w) w (dot) m e e t u p (dot) c o m
DO a search for your favorite activities, or for what you were always chicken to try. Then go meet new people, and you will surprise yourself with who you connect with. Two good friends of mine on Sky is the limit.
a t l a n t a (dot) s t l a d v e n t u r e s (dot) c o m
One a White Georgian, the other a lady from Africa, neither ever having dated inter-ethnically before, met each other doing common events and found out they met their match. Just a thought.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
I’m looking for someone who makes me laugh. Who does most of the talking when we first meet and then let’s me,…ha. He has a job, cute, christian, catholic, protestant,etc.,loves Star Trek, likes to travel,no adrenaline junkies though, and has a decent body.
The awaiting moderation comment only seems to appear when I hyperlink,oh well.
I think I will try those suggestions,good looking out.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
I have pretty much given up on THIS site anyways except for the blogs.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
Mine is still awaiting moderation as well. I just retyped it while modifying the links so that they weren’t links anymore. But you can still get to them.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 2 March 2010:
yes,I got that,lol.
Comment by Salsassin on 2 March 2010:
Try meetup. I have gotten plenty of friends hooked on the site. And whenever I travel for a few weeks, I look up local meetups to see if anything fun is going on.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 2 March 2010:
I’m with you BE I’ve pretty much given up on this site except for the blogs. I’ve had more luck on other sites then on here. But I would say I’m looking for someone who is attractive,funny,intelligent,spirtiual,honest and attentive.
Comment by What is there to Prove? on 3 March 2010:
I am tired of Black & White Men defining beauty! I am tired of Women defending their narrowmindedness! I am happy being a Happy! Healthy! Human Being! The White Man will never admit to his jealousy of the Black Man & The Black Man will never admit to his anger with the White Man for painting him as inferior! I refuse to be a pawn in their tug of war! Sign Me Off- A Happy Black Woman! with a Crazy Black Man! LOL!
Comment by Ichibod on 3 March 2010:
I think the people who post a lot are having their posts held for moderation. I first got that message after I noticed many of my posts were being deleted a few weeks ago.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 3 March 2010:
i had mine held once too but I assumed because I signed in room. maybe they starting to read some of the post and decided to do some censorship on certain people.
Comment by waitin willy on 3 March 2010:
i really dont understand what the hang up is about white men dating black women or latino dating black people . i have been involved with black women since i was a kid it feels natural to me that i being a white man dating a black woman - it is so natural to me its like breathing oxygen ineed it to live -samegoes for black women i need them to live so all those people hate white men who date black women i feel soory for you because you really dont know what your missing - black women are the sweetest kind of women on the planet
Comment by Menelik Charles on 3 March 2010:
@ the ladies,
you know, it always surprises that have difficulty hooking a man. Women get approached in all and every situation.
I met my partner in a public library while her head was stuck in some books! Daring? No, just doing what men do!
Menelik Charles
London England
ps hi bro Ich!
Comment by bigeyes31 on 3 March 2010:
@Menelik
Never said I wasn’t being approached, just not what I’m looking for. Good for you though.
@Salsassin
Thank you so much for your insight. I signed up for one of the meetup.com groups of my interest near houston and I’ll be attending my first one on Sunday! If not for you, I wouldn’t have ever known about this, thanks again.
@Bama, try this in your area. I checked out some groups in my old town just for giggles. I think you might like it.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 3 March 2010:
@BE I might have to do that chick.
Thanks.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 3 March 2010:
Oh and if you not watching millionaire match maker, please do. If not else for anything else then for the the shit and giggles factor. lol I love it
Comment by Salsassin on 3 March 2010:
Damn, some real good posts lately.
Mssexysapia, great post. Just one correction. European people DO have melanin. Just not in the same degree as most African people, ON THE SKIN. They are not Albinos. Lighter skin developed in regions where vitamin D wasn’t processed as well because of lack of sunlight. And in regions where sunlight varied a lot because of the season, tanning developed. Tanning is a regulatory process to supply melanin as needed.
Now ALL humans have neuromelanin to the same degree. So when you hear comments like “Whites don’t have melanin,” tell them they are full of shit.
Rooster, you are funny. But I am going to be a ball breaker and tell the truth that hurts. One, Asians aren’t a monolithic group, so all Asians do not have the same physical proportions. But it is true that there are Asian populations that have smaller penises, erect or flacid. That is just nature. The women of those groups also tend to have shallower vaginas and less behind. Length in males is directly proportional to depth in women. I have found Asian and Latina women I literally could not fit fully in, and I am of average length.
There are also Asian populations that do not have small penises. I will make you a bet that the bigger the booties you see in the females you will also notice longer penises in men.
Of course I am talking in the extremes, but this is the truth. Necessity develops change.
In Europeans and Africans most studies have shown that in the majority of the respective Bell Curves, Europeans and African overlap. That is, they have similar length and girth.
When you go to the extremes of the bell curves, there is a slightly higher percentage of African males who have longer penises, and in Europeans there is a slightly higher perecentage of shorter penises. We are speaking in the 10 to 15% percentile. The opposite is true in girth. Europeans in the extremes tend to have it thicker than Africans.
And yes, Europeans tend to enlarge more during erections, while Africans tend to have more length during flacidity. There was a long study about it a while ago. Basically because sexual myths were rampant.
Also, while there can be people with proportions that don’t match height, the average rule is still that the taller you are, the larger overall you are. Body proportion. You are rarely going to find an Asian the size of Yao Ming with a micro-penis.
Hey, just the fact.
Have at it.
Me, I am happy with my average size. Women I have had experiences with (I am just going to laugh to death when Queens goes nuts with this) have never complained about me being too small. But, like I said before, is some cases I have been too big, and that sucked beyond belief. I do not envy guys who frighten girls or who have to have sex only partially putting it in all the time. Talk about a perpetual tease. And I know some guys like to do that, but I’m not into giving a woman pain, so I am not trying to put it in farther than when the woman starts saying it hurts her.
JMHO.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 3 March 2010:
(Eating popcorn)
I leave for a minute and look what happens. I am not even going to address Sal and his multiple black women he hides from his Latino Wife “allegedly”.
(Smiling) Latino men notorious for staying “within” their race. LOL That is another subject for the “Mail”.
Let me address Mssexy…………………………..
I am not going to disagree or agree with you. People do have an impression of you when you voice your opinion. I merely counter the arguments people make on this board. They say ” I twist” their words. Show me where I twisted their words unless I was being “sarcastic”. They bragged about using “two men”. How can you twist that? They said “they shut down black men” from the safety of their computer. I never tried to be a “Latino” tough guy womanizer. I have been in “long-term” relationships with black women.
The same people that accuse me of “certain behavior” do the same thing. They just point the “finger” at me because I am more vocal. Let me just just touch on some of your points respectfully.
You said this…
“I just recently started reading this and i think that Mr Queens is very interesting. Have you noticed that every time a black female makes a comment staying the opinions of and African american male, that he makes it know that we dont know what the black man is thinking.”
Thank you, because I find you equally interesting aside from the misconceptions about me. If black women KNEW “what black men” were thinking, there wouldn’t be this great “valley” between us. Even my “detractors” on the board will tell you there is tension between black women and black men. Numbers don’t lie concerning the dating struggles of black women.
You also said this, thus “backing up my point”
” Love especially real love is hard to find whether its same color or different and if you find it regardless of race you embrace it and hold on to it. How dare you say that a white man is not capable of loving and caring about a black woman the way a black man can. If in this great big world a person is lucky to find the person they connect you should applaud it. right now statistics say that 40 % of black women will never get married. Its because of this mindset, that if i cant find a black man then i can not be happy or whole”
(Putting my drink down)
How dare I say white men are not capable of loving black women? Well, they did a yahoo online dating article. The same thing with E Harmony. From my understanding, black women fell in the 7 percent. White men rather be with “white women, Asian, or Latin woman” before a black woman. 4 percent of you are currently married to white man. That is atrocious.
(Standing back and looking at the numbers”). Could it be white men “are not all that interested in black women”. What other theory can it be????????
This is all facts. (Putting my hand on my head) Ask Sal to google it.
You also mention 40 percent of black women will never be married. So if white men were interested right, shouldn’t that statistic start coming down from the 40 percent?
Don’t let the “smoke and mirrors” fool you on this board. Most have an “agenda” and it is to keep you “worried and desperate”.
These “men” here, who supposedly, got “love for black women”, they color struck too. The same way black men are “accused” of being color struck. Look at what they did to “tatt”. I like “tatt” but they dropped her ass and ran to “Big eyes”. After that, they moved on to “Tricc”. (Throwing hands up). They need to thank me for getting the black women out to this board. Sal is happy because he gets to add to “his harem” of women but promoting another website for them to “meet him”. His “little suggestion” of black women to go to another site. Ambulance chaser is a slick immigration lawyer.
White men will not date full figured black women. They said “it” themselves. Ask some of them in the room. Black men marry black women more than any “other group”. These are facts. Black men pick black women “first” consistently.
Actions speak louder than words.
My blog is THE TRUTH!
(Waving at Big eyes)
You have a nice day. I am always happy for civil conversation.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 3 March 2010:
Civil but misinformed conversation. Didn’t you just call me “slut” because I have two white men interested in me and I’m a full-figured black woman? Isn’t that contridicting what you said earlier? So which is it? White men aren’t interested in full-figured women or they are?
Make up your mind son and stick to the point, in fact make a point. My theory has been most white men are interested in black women, history shows us that. But most are afraid to make that move because of two things: A)afraid of what society would think or B)afraid of being rejected.
As the years roll by and people become more accepting, you see more white men become more open to dating and or marrying black women. We as black women just need to be more receptive. Although, I will say Interracial dating is not for everyboy, I told one of my black gf’s that last week. You have to willing to open yourself to something new and understand not everybody (queens) will be accepting of the life you have chosen for yourself.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 3 March 2010:
@ Mr.L.Queens
Look, I KNOW you are making of fun of me and count me as a sellout black woman just like the rest of ‘em. I have NEVER expected anything else,lol. Now, I know I’m going to be accused of “swinging from your johnson 24/7″ as it was so lewdly and crassly put, but I can’t help it,you absolutely crack me up,LOL. I think because I don’t take myself so seriously. I was WONDERING WHEN you were gonna let me know I had been dropped,LOL. Maybe some will be happy now since they will see this a you “cutting the apron strings”,even though they were never there(wants you hate me so bad,lol). Anyways, you make some valid points about the numbers though;maybe the numbers will change for the better,maybe they won’t, but I do have faith that some of us are working hard to change our image and take responsibility.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 3 March 2010:
(Looking over Bama)
I have sense of humor Big eyes. Queen Latifah, god bless her “little heart”.
She is mentioning her “own life” as the example for ALL black women. The problem with her statement is where is she going with these “two white men”? Yea you can get “a lot of dates”. Ultimately, the goal is a “NBA ring” (wedding ring). Nobody cares if you can drop 50 points in a game and “lose”.
Sorry, I am a basketball fan. I like to use analogies.
Now the “slut” word. Perhaps, that was “harsh”. I would have used another word like “money hungry”. Loose booty was taken by “Tatt”. I ran out of words to ‘call you”. I am sorry, I mean to keep that “comment in my head”. It was just an instant reaction to calling you “slut bucket”. I shocked myself by that statement. You are the type of woman that has a “good job” but constantly “spends the next man’s money”. This type of behavior is quite common in some “Southern women”. Some are “graceful” about it. I am pretty sure Queen Latifah” plays the “damsel in distress very well”.
Queen Latifah said this…………..
“Make up your mind son and stick to the point, in fact make a point. My theory has been most white men are interested in black women, history shows us that. But most are afraid to make that move because of two things: A)afraid of what society would think or B)afraid of being rejected.”
Essentially, you are saying white men are to cowardly to get involved with black women. You mention white men have desired you through history. Was it after the slavery whipping or before. “Massa” raped you so he “desired” you. What are you rambling about ‘Sweet Alabama”? Please stick to the topic. You are starting to swim in the “deep” part of the pool with this “history’ stuff. Dip your “toes” in the shallow part of the pool. Sal might have to google some stuff for you. Google is like his best friend. Don’t laugh Big eyes. I really haven’t seen someone obsessed with google? No wonder he does not have a black woman.
(Getting a headache) Now I remember when I was reluctant to get involved with “country black women” like Queen Latifah.
Why would you want to be with cowardly white men?????????
AND you are giving advice to other black women!
That is like ‘Ray Charles” being a crossing guard at the local elementary school. It just does not make any sense!!!!!!!!
(Closing the door)
Comment by tamn8ercl on 3 March 2010:
@ Mr Laurelton Queens
LMAO @ sell out Black woman. Am I a sell out Black woman? I love my White husband very much and he loves me. I’m not unmarried like 40% of Black woman because I met my perfect mate and had to ignore that he wasn’t Black. That wasn’t easy as we both have a prefrence for our own race. It was just love. Firt time swirl for us both.
I married at 35 and I should’ve waited until I was 45 to marry. I know I can’t have kids at that age but I should’ve passed on the love of my life and having children just so some buffoon on the internet won’t call me a sell out.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
P.S. Was once married to a Black man in college. It didn’t work out because he cheated. Not because he was a bad guy…we were just too young.
Look at all this goodness he’s getting.
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b397/tamn8ercl/tril.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b397/tamn8ercl/6176_1175544822248_1036902982_30572.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b397/tamn8ercl/DSCN0653.jpg
HA!
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 3 March 2010:
Queenie you should read this article. You are going to LOVE IT. guarantee it. Maybe queenie the question you should be asking yourself is why can’t YOU find a good woman or in fact why can’t you keep one? Is it always the way the people that have no one in their lives like you, can’t find a woman and damn sho don’t know how to keep one but you always the one trying to tell the rest of us how we should be living when you living fowl yourself. Oh and Queenie THANK GOD YOU AREN’T INTERESTED IN ME!!!!! If I turn you off then Thank you Jesus just tell me what else I need to do to keep you AWAY from me. LOL
Enjoy the article ya’ll.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sophia-a-nelson/the-strong-educated-black_b_421548.html
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 3 March 2010:
I like this article too
http://www.nypress.com/blog-4036-black-and-white-dating-black-women-white-men.html
Comment by bigeyes31 on 4 March 2010:
Nice articles Bama.They tell the truth but offers hope and solutions instead of just the down sides.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
@BE I agree. Hell a lot of black men aren’t married either so it’s not just us. lol
Comment by Ichibod on 4 March 2010:
@Menelik,
Good to see you, Sir. I didn’t see you earlier because I had to unscribe to this blog. I couldn’t take anymore of a certain blogger’s posts filling my email.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
tamn8ercl, indeed, he is a lucky man.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
Myths Across the Color Line
Essays on the Color Line and the One-Drop Rule
by Frank W Sweet
May 1, 2007
I
n this context, “myths” are counterfactual beliefs taught to the young in order to exemplify social standards that they will be expected to follow in adulthood. The U.S. endogamous color line is a rich source of such myths, believed by African Americans and non-Blacks alike. Ten color-line myths follow. Some come in two versions: Black and White.
Myth 1. White folks have no African genetic admixture. — In fact, about one-third of White Americans carry traces of sub-Saharan DNA from Black slaves whose descendants passed through the U.S. color line within the past three centuries to join the White endogamous group. (This is separate from knowing that the human species emerged in Africa, and non-Africans descend from a small band that crossed from Africa to Asia about 75 millennia ago.) Nevertheless, the amount of sub-Saharan DNA in White Americans is insignificant. Hence, there are two ways of looking at this, both accurate. One says that most of the DNA of sub-Saharan origin in the U.S. population is found inside the bodies of African Americans. The other says that there are twice as many White Americans as Black ones who have detectable sub-Saharan DNA.
Myth 2. All Black folks have some African genetic admixture. — In fact, about five percent of African Americans have no detectable sub-Saharan DNA. This is due to the difference between ancestry and admixture. Membership in the African-American community follows family histories via the hypodescent rule: children of interracial marriages are usually seen as Black. Hence, all African Americans have some Black ancestry. But half of your DNA comes from your father and half from your mother. The other half of parental genes are lost at each generation. If a family has had much out-marriage with Europeans, it can happen by random chance that all of an individual’s sub-Saharan markers may have been lost despite known Black ancestry.
Myth 3. European genetic admixture in African Americans comes from rape. — This myth comes in two versions. Some Whites say that admixture resulted from Black-on-White rape after the Civil War. Most African Americans and White liberals attribute it to White-on-Black rape during slavery. In fact, although rape has happened across the color line in both directions, the current levels of African genetic admixture in White Americans and of European genetic admixture in Black Americans match what one would expect from the number of actual documented intermarriages. Before 1691, intermarriage was routine. Before the Civil War it was nearly as common as today. The intermarriage rate fell drastically during the Jim Crow era but has now recovered beyond its former level. Also, for as long as records have been kept, Black male/White female intermarriages have been more common than White male/Black female intermarriages. In some places and times, such as 19th-century Boston, the difference was extreme. Finally, among Americans with “mismatched” mtDNA and Y markers (matrilineal from one continent and patrilineal from the other), most have patrilineal European markers, but a large minority show the reverse.
Myth 4. The one-drop rule was invented to decide whether you were a slave. — In fact, the one-drop rule (that you are Black if you have any Black ancestor, no matter how distant) was a Jim Crow era phenomenon. It was first made law in 1910 Tennessee and spread nationwide over the next two decades. During slavery days, racial membership was the opposite of the one-drop rule. A person of any visible European ancestry was presumed to be free. The court cases Gobu v. Gobu, 1802 North Carolina, Hudgins v. Wrights, 1806 Virginia, and Adelle v. Beauregard, 1810 Louisiana established the U.S. caselaw that if you had any discernible European ancestry you were presumed free, and the burden was on the alleged slave owner to prove that you were legally a slave through matrilineal descent. This law was then followed in hundreds of court cases without exception until U.S. slavery was ended by the 13th Amendment. The only identifiable U.S. group that consistently advocated the one-drop rule long before it was embraced nationwide, was the African-American ethnic community, first in the northeast, then in the south after Reconstruction. White Southerners fought against the one-drop rule until the 20th century because it might tarnish old-wealth Southern gentry. They eventually accepted and incorporated it into the Jim Crow system of state-sponsored anti-Black terrorism.
Myth 5. Before the Civil War, all African Americans were slaves. — In fact, about half a million African Americans were free in 1860 and about four million were slaves. The myth supports the notion that African-American ethnic traditions descend from the slave experience. But most of today’s African-American ethnic traits descend from the literate, civically active free Black communities of antebellum Boston, New York, and Philadelphia. Such traditions include the AME church, church-centered neighborhood communities, ethnic self-identity and pride, even the term “African American” and the principles of hypodescent and the earliest one-drop rule. Those traditions were forged by such men as: Paul Cuffee, Prince Hall, Richard Allen, Martin Delaney, and Frederick Douglass, of whom only the latter was ever a slave. Many families of the Black communities of the Northeast had no slave ancestry, descending from colonial African indentured servants before slavery (lifelong hereditary forced labor) was adopted in British North America. In contrast, ethnic traditions in the Lower South, where most slaves were, resembled today’s Latin America, where most free citizens were mixed to some extent, almost everyone (slave or free) was of the same ethnic self-identity, and a single sharp color line did not exist.
Myth 6. All slaves were Black. — In fact, whether you were a slave had nothing to do with your appearance nor with how much African ancestry you had. Slavery descended strictly through the maternal line. You were a slave if your mother was a slave, and she was a slave only because her mother was a slave, and so forth. Thousands of genetically White (European) Americans were kept enslaved in the antebellum South because they had a distant matrilineal ancestor who was a slave. The most famous example was Thomas Jefferson’s son, Eston Hemings. Even though he was of overwhelming European ancestry, he was a slave because he had been born to a woman who was a slave at the time. But when he was manumitted by his father’s will, he took his place in the community as a White Virginian.
Myth 7. Before the Civil War, all White southerners were slave owners. — In fact, some White southerners did not own slaves. This myth comes in two versions. Defenders of the antebellum South say that few southerners owned slaves. This is correct. But it is correct because only the head of each household was usually considered the owner of all the family’s slaves, and most people are not the heads of their households. Detractors of the antebellum South say it the other way: “Most southern households owned slaves.” This is also correct, but the bulk of southern slave-owning households owned only one-to-three slaves, fewer families owned more than that, and only wealthy families owned entire plantations of slaves.
Myth 8. All slave owners were White. — In fact, many slave owners were of mixed Afro-Euro ancestry. This myth also comes in two versions. Confederate defenders say that hundreds of Black people owned slaves. This is incorrect. As of 1830, 474 wealthy biracial families of the South Carolina elite owned 2,794 slaves (about one South Carolina slave in a hundred), but they were not considered socially “Black.” Similarly, in 1830, 967 families of the French-culture Gulf coast gens de couleur libre owned 4,382 slaves (about one Louisiana slave in twenty-five). Seen another way, of the 1,834 Colored Creole households in 1839 New Orleans, 752 of them (41 percent) owned at least one slave. Again however, those families were not considered socially “Black” (a term applied back then only to people of unmixed African appearance). The Black version of the myth says that the only African Americans who owned slaves were those who purchased their own wives and children in order to protect them. Although this sometimes happened in Virginia after 1830, when manumitted slaves were exiled from the state, it is incorrect overall, as can be seen in the number of slave owners and the numbers of slaves recorded above. Some of the wealthiest and most famous slave owners and slave traders in the South were of mixed Afro-Euro ancestry.
Myth 9. Black soldiers fought for the Confederacy. — In fact, no Black soldier ever legally fought for the Confederacy. To the very end, the Confederacy enforced a national law forbidding Blacks to serve as combat soldiers. (They could serve as musicians, teamsters, and laborers.) The law was repealed in the last few days of the war but to no avail. Again, there are two versions of the myth. Confederate defenders imply that the biracial slave owners of South Carolina and the Gulf Coast who fought to defend slavery were Black. This is incorrect because they were not legally Black. They were seen as Coloured, biracial, or White with some Black ancestry. On the other side of the myth, some African-American re-enactors point to the Black regiments of the Corps d’Afrique of Louisiana who asked to be mobilized into the Confederate army, along with the other state regiments. But they were turned away due to the law mentioned above. Then they applied to, were enlisted in, and fought throughout the war as regiments in the Union army.
Myth 10. If it were true, I would already know about it. — The most destructive U.S. color line myth is that if a little-known fact were true, then everybody would already know it. As one person said: “Your claim that some Blacks were free before the Civil War is ridiculous. If it were true, it would be trumpeted to the skies. In my whole life, my entire life, I have never heard of such a thing.” — Written by a 15-year-old participant of an online discussion group.
At one level, ignorance of the nation’s history is understandable. K-12 schools cannot teach all of America’s past. Children and teachers cover an overwhelming amount of material. So whenever school boards discuss curricula, they must decide what to leave out. And they often decide that history-teaching should aim for citizenship skills, specifically, to teach those myths that students must learn if they are to function in U.S. society. Once they can function as citizens, if any of them want to learn the detailed facts, they can do it in college. At least, that is the rationale.
At another level, ignorance breeds more ignorance. Most people do not take college history and so they go through life thinking that what they learned in K-12 is all there is. In The End of Blackness (New York: Pantheon, 2004), Debra Dickerson tells a story of when Senator John McCain was informed that his great-grandparents were slave owners. He was dumfounded. According to Dickerson, although McCain often talked about how his ancestors had fought for the Confederacy and that they owned plantations, it had never occurred to him that they owned slaves.
When non-scholars suddenly learn historical facts in adulthood, many assume that their ignorance results from a vast conspiracy, rather than from their own lack of diligence. Dickerson, who repeats many of the above myths, explains her own prior ignorance by saying that, “whites cannot allow themselves to know their unbowdlerized, unexpurgated history.” But the facts are available in any college text or monograph to anyone who takes the time to read. She should have said, “not teaching kids historical facts during K-12 is harmful to society.” But being ignorant of college textbooks and then accusing them (which the person has not read) of falsification is the worst myth of all.
Comment by boots on 4 March 2010:
This is the same old…bs you here all the time it’s in vogue today White man forms an alliance with black woman… gang up on black man… tell the world how bad black man is … then talk about how beautiful IR marriage is… at the same time always talking about finding “love” you guys want so called love at the expense of truth and justice. All you blk ladies want to take everything that this Salsassin says as GOSPEL”yall” need to do some fact checking………
Comment by boots on 4 March 2010:
SAL… you need to stop lifting large segments of your history text book and placing them in front of us when you dont really understand what’s in front of you
Comment by MzBrOwNSuGaR on 4 March 2010:
waitin willy said :
“i really dont understand what the hang up is about white men dating black women or latino dating black people . i have been involved with black women since i was a kid it feels natural to me that i being a white man dating a black woman - it is so natural to me its like breathing oxygen ineed it to live -samegoes for black women i need them to live so all those people hate white men who date black women i feel soory for you because you really dont know what your missing - black women are the sweetest kind of women on the planet”
That was nice to say Willy.
I admit everytime I come here to read, I hope to see something like that said by a black man.
I know, I’m in the wrong place for that, I guess LOL!
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
Intermarriages in the US have been historically lower than in other countries where the average has been 40%. In the US it has been below 4%. But except for the Jim Crow era, that rate has been pretty consistent. Of course part of the reason was that African Americans were only 14% of the population. If about 2% of of marriages where interracial black/white in 1860, we are looking at about 14% of the African American community that was marrying interracially in 1860. That is huge chunk of mixed kids there were not being born out of rape, but from loving relationships.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
Boots, go shine some. You are obviously clueless.
Comment by MzBrOwNSuGaR on 4 March 2010:
to tamn8ercl :
Congrats. I especially liked that neither of you excluded your own race, but you just happened to find love and went with it.
You strutting your stuff in your pics gurll, and your wedding picture was very beautiful.
Comment by MzBrOwNSuGaR on 4 March 2010:
to boots:
Just a question. Have you read some of the very rude and offensive remarks that have been continually made, and don’t you agree that justifies the ladies to speak up, and why you or none of the other black men don’t at least speak up and ask him to cool it?
I guess that was three questions huh? LOl
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
(Waking up drinking coffee)
(Reading Queen Latifah’s comments). NY PRESS “Really”. You are putting up a “NY Press Article”.
The statistics don’t change. If it makes you happy to put up that article. LOL
I wasn’t even going to respond to Tamn. Instead, she indirectly “puts” down other black women.
“LMAO @ sell out Black woman. Am I a sell out Black woman? I love my White husband very much and he loves me. I’m not unmarried like 40% of Black woman because I met my perfect mate and had to ignore that he wasn’t Black. That wasn’t easy as we both have a prefrence for our own race. It was just love. Firt time swirl for us both.”
It is not about the 40 percent of black women not being married. It is about the “root cause” of the problem. Do you think white men will “solve” that problem? You are an attractive woman. I look at the overall population of black women. The ones that Sal hides from his “Latina wife”.
This person said this………
“Comment by boots on 4 March 2010:
SAL… you need to stop lifting large segments of your history text book and placing them in front of us when you dont really understand what’s in front of you”
Yea, why google this bullshit. You are not helping black women. I rather you keep the “serving” them the Koolaid about white men “falling out” of their penny loafers for them. I haven’t seen a white man comment in awhile here. Maybe 1 or two. The excuse is “because I am here”. Fight for your black woman.
I am pretty sure Queen Latifah gets tired of defending you and making excuses for you!
Boots I salute you!
Look at this racist coward.
“Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
Boots, go shine some. You are obviously clueless.”
Come MAKE ME DO IT! Go tell one of the black girls you date, brothers or fathers that shit. You will be eating out of straw after they break your jaw!
I have go to my “ex woman” is making me breakfast.
You have a nice day.
Comment by tamn8ercl on 4 March 2010:
@Mr Laurelton Queens,
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I’m putting down Black women because I suggest that they should too ignore color win love comes into play?!?!?!
HAHAHAHA
Whatever!!
I’m putting down Black women. So the f*ck what! Your twisting of words are not believed by anyone. So because I feel sorry for you… I’ll play along. I put down other Black women. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Here is a helpful hint for you.
You piss off people who already know that they are better than you. You are low class trash so your opinion means nothing.
Comment by tamn8ercl on 4 March 2010:
*You can’t piss off people who already know that they are better than you.*
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
Sorry bub, not married. Keep researching. LOL
Most people on this site are chatting with each other, not arguing on this forum moron. That is why they aren’t posting. Notice all threads are dead.
And in your dreams that anyone would be breaking my jaw.
Now go fix my cable.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-Qv_nq3uw4&
Queenie beating the crap out of poor white dudes.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
LOL Sal
I know you didn’t put up a video of a disturbed white man getting some lucky punches in.
Anyway, Tamn looks good for a 50 year old woman. I am not a hater at all. I like the green dress.
I never twisted what you said. Let’s review it.
“@ Mr Laurelton Queens
LMAO @ sell out Black woman. Am I a sell out Black woman? I love my White husband very much and he loves me. I’m not unmarried like 40% of Black woman”
(Drinking orange juice)
You are playing word games here. I thought Queen Latifah was arrogant but you take “the cake”. It almost like you are “sticking it” to other black women.
You also said this……………
“I’m putting down Black women. So the f*ck what! Your twisting of words are not believed by anyone. So because I feel sorry for you… I’ll play along. I put down other Black women.”
(Raising eyebrow) You are a middle-aged black woman that just got married or whatever case. You act like you won “Let’s make a deal”.
Anyway, I have to head back to work. Tamn I am asking permission to use your picture on my blog. The one with the green dress.
It won’t be anything mean or nasty. I am a gentleman of course.
You have a nice day.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
LMAO!!! @ the Gentleman part
Comment by tamn8ercl on 4 March 2010:
@Mr Laurelton Queens
HAHAHAHA
I care what street corner trash thinks about me so much!!!
I’m old!!!! Why can’t I be 21 like you!!!!!!!
PWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You remind me of some homeless person laughing at my new hose!!! HAHAHAHAHA
Almost forget…I’m pregnant and 50! WooT! I look good for 50. I know I look better than any 6 kids having hood rat you can pull. If you could pull quality you would feel so inferior to White men.
Let’s recap.
I put down Black women.
I’m 50 years old.
I’m arrogant.
You forgot to mention that I don’t care what you think because low class ghetto trash like you clean my toilet. At any rate…when will you learn that low class ghetto trash don’t have opinions. No one cares.
LMFAO!
Comment by tamn8ercl on 4 March 2010:
@Sal
Now I’m going to have so fool sitting in the projects, smoking a blunt, and whacking off to my pic. Ewwwwwww
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
Dear Tamn
I guess you are allowing to me to use the picture. The “self hating tirade” was interesting.
Projects, blunts, and etc. What are you rambling about?
You are wearing the same outfit the supposed “hood rats” wear. Now that is “ironic”.
I got nothing against black people that are in the projects and struggling. Not everyone can be as “successful”. The recession is really “bad” in the country.
I hate to break the news to you but not every black man lives in the projects, smoke blunts, and never had a father. None of which applies to me.
My parents have been married for 31 years. My mother got married at 22. You are 45 or something like that. Nobody is disputing your “looks”.
Anyway, good luck because you are going to need it.
You have a nice day.
Comment by tamn8ercl on 4 March 2010:
@ Mr Laurelton Queens,
Wow I love your ignorance. I don’t have to give you permission to use my pics. I posted them in public, you idiot. I don’t want you to but I can’t stop you.
If you could read, you’d know that I’m 35 and was married before. But 35 45…it’s all the same. It doesn’t matter. Now let’s look at what you said.
Your mother had you before she was 22 to give you a father and get you out of the projects? So you think you are better than other Black men because their moms didn’t sleep around to get them out of the projects?
Your self hatred is amazing!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!Your mother screwed you out of the project!!! HAHAHAHA
I don’t think I would’ve told that to anyone! WOW!!!! I see why you are so hard on Black women….mommy issues. TSK TSK
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
My thing is if you not into interracial relationships, then why be on here other then to the stir the pot. I can’t speak for everybody but I would say most of us aren’t looking to be converted. This ain’t church and we aren’t looking to be save from the “big bad white man,.” Hell most of us are either are looking for love, good conversation or good advice or all three.
@Queenie since you love sports so much here is my breakdown to you: There are lies, damn lies and statistics. If a lot of black women aren’t married, more then likely aren’t a lot brothas aren’t married either. So, it ain’t just us.
Comment by Ichibod on 4 March 2010:
@Salsa,
That was an awesome essay. I already knew much of that stuff by my own family history as well as MY overall interest and study on the subject(s) of… black history (go figure).
“When non-scholars suddenly learn historical facts in adulthood, many assume that their ignorance results from a vast conspiracy, rather than from their own lack of diligence.”
This is so true and why I can’t stand listening to some people spout off history especially in regard to race and other human relations. Psychology and Theology do more for me in that instance. I learned about the Dewey Decimal System in the 1st grade. For a library to be filled with millions of books, i.e information, knowledge; believing that around 6 different books a year for 12 years contains everything there is to know is quite silly. Besides, only elementary school really teaches you what you need to know: reading, writing, and arithmetic. All other grades are designed to train the mind how to learn and apply knowledge. It’s sad that many teachers don’t even realize that and school board committees struggle to find ways for new generations of students from various walks of life to adapt to an educational process that was perfectly fine and has been for decades. It is important for parents to stop believing that it is the schools responsibility to soley train and raise their children. I was in gifted and honors classes all through school because my home environment was conducive to learning. Many homes only have a bed, bath, food, and toys to keep kids quiet, but lack disciplince and/or respect for authority and priority. I heard in some state they were trying to pass a law that would pay teachers based on student performance. See, this is the type of crap I talking about. I’m so glad I graduated 14 years ago. Some low life kid with no home training making it hard for others to eat.
Also, that video of the bus fight was hilarious. The man was walking away, so dude should have sat down and shut his hole. I got rid of my braids years ago. That guy said he was 50 in a radio interview. Too old for that nonsense.
Oh, boy. Now there’s the OTHER one that made me block this blog from my email.
@ MBS,
Many black men have spoken up asking him to “cool it” or “to not lose focus”. As far as the “the very rude and offensive remarks”, do you mean by his presentation or his facts? I simple can’t see how a group of women agree to ignore him, and then 2 of them continue on with him for close to 100 more posts.
@Sir Laurelton,
Like Chris Rock said, “There’s a reason to hit everybody. Just don’t do it”. Always good to see you doing what you do.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
@Ichibod Most of the shit this man says is not because he actually gives a damn about “sistas” it’s to put us down as if we are pieces of shit on the bottom of his shoe. It’s a damn shame that really Sal has been the ONLY man on here black or white to call this fool out.
Most of the guys have sit on their hands and said nothing.It’s like you guys are afraid what he is going to say about you. A lot of the women on here are tired of his bullshit and decided to say ENOUGH. When is enough is enough?
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
If black women are sell-outs for dating white men, then what does that make the black men who date and or marry white women? Aren’t they sell-outs too? Oh but I guess that’s ok because they are men.
Comment by Ichibod on 4 March 2010:
No, it’s not okay. How many more posts can you find by black men using black women as there reason for dating other races than black women using black men as their reason for dating white men? Oh, notice I said black men and other races as oppose to white women. I could care less. I merely observe, he just makes it a point to question the genuine nature of a black woman’s reasons for dating white men… as oppose to other races of men. Some women act like they’re some retarded kid about to get punched for accidentally drooling on someone’s shoe when it comes to his comments and someone to come rescue them. And maybe you just haven’t been here long enough to see what black men have had to say about his antics. It’s get old after a while and not worth trying to do anymore. I pity those that always feel the need to respond, It’s just like that video of that bus fight with “Epic Beard Man”. The ChinaTown bus fight video was pretty funny too. That black lady felt the need to hit that chinese lady over some nonsense and then got her butt beat. Call it silent consent or whatever, some people just need to grow up. Kids in school couldn’t stand me because I never fed into their taunts and insults. Even now, I just stop answering the phone for people I don’t care to deal with anymore regardless how long I’ve known them. It’s like “sticks and stones may break my bones” is something that we learned as kids but can’t seem to figure out how that would and should still apply later in life. After many of his posts, I wait to read responses to the results of his fact finding missions. I don’t get to. I only read scathing and childish attacks on his character from what appears to be women, evidently fitting the discription, rising to the occasion to fight. Just calm down. Ofcourse, I see him as the kid in school that had to sit in the corner numerous times for laughing at kids struggling with short words in reading class, but struggling with short words is indeed an issue that needs to be overcome in order to advance to the next grade. It’s all about perception.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
@Ichibod The thing is, what’s wrong with standing up for what’s right? If a white dude on here called you a low class nigga, would you be ok with that? Would you not defend yourself? And I would think a lot of people would come to your defense too.
This man is stupid and childish but sometimes the child needs to be spanked, instead of ignored. Ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away and not saying anything doesn’t make it right either.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
(Coming home again from a long day at work).
Why are you running to ICH because I said something to you? I respect Ich and I am sorry he got dragged into this. However, you said you was dating “two white men”. That is out of youre mouth Queen Latifah. Even Big eyes was “skeptical” about that whole scenario. She wanted to “keep the peace”. I am not going to keep the “peace”.
You jumped on her like some 300 pound bully. You don’t control the conversation here. I don’t have a problem with Sal. I have gone “back and forth” with him. I point out the “reality” of dating for black women. He will never admit he got a wife or girlfriend. He is like Marquez and I am “Floyd Mayweather”.
You point out “wishful” thinking about interracial dating. When you don’t have an argument you say the statistics do not make sense. No wonder, none of these men will be in a “serious relationship” with you. You are “coy” about sleeping with both men. Basically, you gave yourself away by not “denying” it. On top of that, you said you was a Christian. You sitting her talking about “deal breakers” and you having sex out of wedlock. You should be the LAST one to talk.
Ich is a Christian. What makes you think he is going to “cosign” a loose woman? He is a better man than me. I would have cursed your ass out.
I want you to come and spank me with your ” big redbone ass”!
You are like the worse type of sellout black woman. You want people to defend you being “loose”. You got some audacity. You are running to everybody to get me “off you”. First it was the “site supervisor”. Now you are running to other “black men”.
Was you abused growing up? Why are you running to the authorities so much?
It is just a debate. You want to take “your toys” and leave. You was a spoiled brat wasn’t you? You won’t even do that. You want to “give out” the toys and tell people “how to play with it”.
I will lay your big red bone ass out on the bed and pull the phone out of the jack and throw your cell phone out the window. You are a damn tattle tale.
My baby niece does not even do this shit.
Comment by tamn8ercl on 4 March 2010:
@Mr Laurelton Queens
What nerve calling her loose after you brag about your mother having slept around and “My mother got married at 22″ so you wouldn’t have to be a “black man” “in the projects, smoke blunts, and never had a father.”
Is this why you are angry with Black women? Because of what your mom did? Raised by a sellout….hates sellouts.
Serial killers who had mothers who were prostitutes usually murders prostitues, so I guess it makes sense.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
@Queenie you the worse type a black man. You have a double standard. It’s ok for black men to date and marry white women and you too afraid to confort them because they’d probably would smack the shit out of you for being in their business. You are an easy target because you don’t have a PHD of any kind in any science nor do you have the experience to speak on the subject.
If I sleep with 30 men at the same time what business is it of yours when you trying to give out advice when you don’t have a wife nor a gf. Why should anybody listen to you? The only thing you are an “expert” in is being childish. Oh but you do have a PHD (A playa hater degree)
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
@Queenie throughtout this WHOLE conversation, you still don’t know the truth and I still haven’t told you. LOL
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
(Picking up my drink)
Actually, my mother was a virgin when she got married and had me. My mother was raised upper-class in the Caribbean. Maybe, you are projecting your experiences onto me. You can always counter with “your upbringing”. I would like to know how you were raised Tamn? I am pretty sure it is equal or better to my upbringing.
I suppose you have a PhD Queens Latifah? If you did, you would know the difference between being perceived as a slut bucket for being with two white men at “the same time”. You haven’t denied that these two men don’t know about each other.
You made an interesting statement. Why should somebody listen to me if I don’t have a wife or girlfriend? They are free to listen to me or not listen to me. Nice counter argument.
If I am such an easy target, why can’t you admit you are sleeping with “both men”? There is no shame in that. Just be honest about it.
It becomes my business when you start giving indirect device to black women, who is actually “living” that Christian lifestyle.
As for Tamn, you seem obsessed with blunts and the projects. I don’t even know what you are rambling about. Did thugs “run” a train on you and your white husband does not know about your past. I know why you bring that up. You was with a couple thugs in your past. You was hitting that “blunt” with them.
You let the age thing bother you. LOL You asked me not to post the picture. I can respect that.
I am gentleman.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
QQ Bama
Why are you hiding now? You don’t want your “two” boyfriends to know what you are up to?
These sellout black women are simply amazing.
Going to the YMCA. My kid got suspended from school. Now I am losing money.
Queen Latifah you can “run” but you can’t hide.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
No actually Queenie it’s not your business because A)wasn’t talking you unless you traded your penis in for a vagina recently B)The only person I answer to is Christ but you think somehow are Christlike because according you are an “expert”. On what we don’t know but that’s the world according to Queen.
Son you just jealous because like I said you thought you were going to crack on me for not having a social life and when you found out I actually have one, you pissed because it happens to be with not just one man but two while you have NO ONE to speak of. So you can assume and say what you want, doesn’t make me going to tell you the whole story and basically you don’t know anything.
That’s what bothers you the most is you don’t know anything. Like I said you a hyporcrite because you do have a double standard for black men and black woman. In fact do you have any original thoughts? Because you haven’t given a reason that I’ve seen for why you are not into IR dating because you are the one hiding your true feelings.
Sounds like to me, you are the one in hiding. Oh and let us know when you get that that Bullshit oops I mean PHD. LOL
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
Oh and a lesson on Chrisinity. Doesn’t mean “perfection.” I never claimed to be an expert nor do I claim to be perfect. But I do have my right to share my opinion and if you don’t like it, tough titty.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
Dear Tamn
I don’t know what you are rambling about. I wouldn’t call your mother a prostitute. My mindset does not think in that manner.
I think you got serious issues. Maybe you feel like a prostitute in your marriage. You read off all these stereotypes about black people being in the projects.
Maybe your white husband was with a black prostitute. That is why he was attracted to you. He might think your outfit reminded him of his “favorite black prostitute”.
It always funny to me how black women can read off stereotypes and never question a white man “about his” fetish for black women. When was his first experience with a black woman?
They are so eager to get married at 35 because they feel lonely and desperate. They “grab” onto anything.
I tried to give you a “pass”. Keep your statements out of the gutter concerning family members.
I do not get pleasure out of arguing with an old lady that “managed” to get married at 35. Like that was some “great” accomplishment. If you were so great, you would have been married in your late 20s or middle 20s.
Nice Monica Lewinsky dress. That might be my new post.I like that title.
(Putting on gym clothes).
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
Dear Bama
You said this………………..
“Oh and a lesson on Chrisinity. Doesn’t mean “perfection.” I never claimed to be an expert nor do I claim to be perfect. But I do have my right to share my opinion and if you don’t like it, tough titty.”
This is my thing with you. You said your deal breakers are men that are agnostic or don’t believe in god. You implied that in “so many words”. How can you set those “rules” or “expectations” and you do not live up to none of those “ideals”. You want a “moral man” but you practical no “morality”.
NO, the lesson on Christianity you should “know better”. You are basically saying ” I am not perfect” so I can get away with what I am doing. You should strive to live up Christian principles.
I do not live up to Christian values. I admit that. Will I ever change? I don’t know. But I sure will not ask people to say ‘Hey man defend me”. You out of line altogether asking men or women to “defend” you. I will never anybody to defend me if I was a womanizer. I will just say you know what. I am trying to resist temptation.
Somebody said you shouldn’t judge people. Jesus judged people. There are numerous stories in the bible of Jesus judging people. People will always judge people.
Even if you wasn’t sleeping with two men, why do you need to date “two” white men? Explain that to the people here. One of those white men could be with a “black woman” looking for a man to be with. Other black women should take your ass to task for the shit you are doing!
I plan to address this on my blog. This is the type of thinking that make black women fail.
Good day.
Comment by tamn8ercl on 4 March 2010:
Mr Laurelton Queens,
You don’t know what I’m talking about? Your words. I quoted you! You bragged about your mother getting busy to get you out of the project.
Wow, you would think that after people try to say that you twist words, you wouldn’t pull the same thing on me. I’m just quoting you.
So you aren’t going to address the fact that your sellout mother was a loose woman who screwed her way out of the projects. Then why do you brag about it?
Now you are bragging about your mother being some White man’s “favorite black prostitute”.
hmmmmmmm
You were raised by a sellout loose woman…now you hate Black women. I don’t blaim you. Your mother sound NASTY according to you.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
Queenie stop u are sounding like Sarah Palin. You talk a lot of shit but don’t know what the hell you talking about. I bet you say you can see New York from your apartment in PA. LOL
I don’t answer to you that’s the thing you don’t get nor like. You don’t know me, nor do I want you to know me. You making assumptions based on a few words I told someone and you pissed because you thought you were going to crack on me about my life instead I made you look foolish and that’s the REAL truth.
You don’t care about Christnity you basically just said that yourself. This is about you trying to call out me because I showed you UP in front of your boys. So your crack back was trying to call me out about.
Quite Frankly I don’t owe you and anyone else an explantion in what I do in my life,but for some reason you think someone “owes” you something. Or I should explain myself.
Mr. Queens let me tell you something, before you start sweeping around my porch or anyone else’s for that matter, you need to to clean up your porch first.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 March 2010:
LOL
Sarah Palin, what do you know about Sarah Palin?
It is not assumptions when you something hide. You got all defensive for no reason.
You never denied any of my accusations. See, I am not claiming that I date “two black women”.
Now if I said that, they would call me misogynist and a womanizer.
When you date “two white men”, it is called “exploring relationships”.
QQ Looking past the self hating pussy. I wonder if she would say all that about a white man. At 35, I bet you have a lot of “mileage” on you. All of the white men you dated, I wonder if you call them rednecks and crackers after they left you with your panties down.
Keep nodding your head at family events. I wonder if her white husband got white trash family members? She is to pussy and self hating to confront them. But she can run her mouth about projects, blunts, and whatever else she says about black people. What about trailer park white trash people?
Keep wearing that hood rat dress you prostitute. That was the only way you was going to get anyone at 45. LOL
You got to be kidding me wearing a prostitute dress to see you’re white man’s mother.
His poor white mother was like “who is this dirty 35 year-old prostitute you married”?
(Looking at my watch) I have to go.
Oh yea, I am going to work on my new post with you’re prostitute picture. Motel room and everything in the background. (Shaking my head) LOL
WHY do they make it so easy for me? LOL
(Smiling)
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
Queenie you are right and I’m STILL not going to tell you either. I get defensive because you are an asshole who thinks he knows everything and has a God complex because one or two people might actually agree with the dumb shit you say although you don’t have PHD and never dated outside your race before.
And on top of that you act like a dick to most of the women in here who you don’t agree with or whom you don’t like because of your own issues which you refuse to address when addressing others.
I entertain your foolishness quite frankly out of my own bordem. When we have other things to discuss you’ll be forgotten like yesterday’s newspaper and toss to the side. Or maybe I just get tired of you and will ignore you for good.
Now, back to Grey’s and my basketball game.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
OK, I am bored. Yeah it was entertaining for a while, but Queenie is one trick pony. All he is going to do is spout the same accusations over and over again. Shoot, all you have to do is requote your answers from the last time. He has completely and utterly shown himself to be the ass he is to everyone on the board except to his own deluded mind and maybe one or two fellow hatemongers. So why waste your time entertaining him? We showed him the ass, now let him fart in the wind. After all, that is all he is, a foul wind that stinks but other than that, has no effect. If anything, he convinces women who are on the fence that there truly are assholes out there that they might want to avoid. I think he idotically perpetuates the very stereotypes he claims he is trying to fight. Fart on Queenie.
You have been officially Beano’d.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
@Sal I know you are right. He’s like that scab on my arm that I keep picking at,can’t help myself. Plus it’s fun teasing him and pissing him off for my own enjoyment.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
Yeah, but it’s like that bubblegum that you have chewed for way to long, and all the juice is gone and now it only tastes like stale saliva. Just spit it out and let some other unfortunate sole step on it. Goo like that never goes away. You just have to scrape it of your shoe and move on.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
@Sal nice analysis, can I use it? Too late I’m taking it lol
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
The part that blows chunks about this board the most is that you can’t start your own threads and there is no active moderation.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
Yeah like I said the other day I miss yahoo chat where you had your own rooms and you can just ignore people.
Comment by Salsassin on 4 March 2010:
I also notice that all these thread by this James dude seem to always be about piting the ethnicities against each other. It is all about which ethnicity is better at this or that. It is a bunch of stereotyping hogwash. Seriously, the most racist person on this page isn’t even queenie, well ok, he ties the author of this threads. They are both equally full of shit and post blogs that are only there to cause intrigue and strife.
This message board seems less about bringing unity as it is about smack talking and competition.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 4 March 2010:
I think there are some good and interesting conversations to be had on here but people don’t like to be brow beaten into submission because someone doesn’t agree with their views.
Comment by MzBrOwNSuGaR on 5 March 2010:
To Ichibod:
I started to come back with a long copy/pasted response to you but I won’t.
I will say that if the “retarded kid needing a rescue” was aimed at me because of my post to boots, lets not get it twisted.
It’s not a question of rescue, but respect. I find it very sad that men who have black mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts etc. are ok with ANYONE, be it white, black, or green, calling black women out of their name and making derogatory remarks about their ethnic features. When that is done, it goes much further than just being aimed at the so called “sell out”
Again, on your remark “some” women needing rescuing, I can honestly say that I have seen you come to the “rescue” of “other” women on other blogs here, so, like I said, it’s all about where, or to whom, one directs his respect.
I can also remeber seeing on one of your posts, else where, how it hurt you to hear black women say thay are not attracted to their own men. How come you can’t see that we can feel the same hurt?
And for the record, the majority of black women are very much attracted to BLACK men.
I do agree with you, the fighting back and forth has gone wayyyy to far, and to be honest, I don’t read most of it. I think those who have been involved in it are enjoying it immensely, and my email box is paying for it. (I’m gonna have to stop the post from coming to my inbox i guess.)
Gosh, this was supposed to be a short post, lol. I hope this doesn’t sound like I am picking a fight with ya Ich, that’s not the case at all.
Comment by Ichibod on 5 March 2010:
@MSB
I had your post in mind when I typed that, but it was not directed at you. No offense taken. I’m not even aware of what Boots said to you.
@Bama
What if someone came on here and called me a low class nigga? You mean like you just did? I’ve been called worse, but is that all they said? Was there a point to their post or was that it? I’m not the type of person that says,”I don’t care what other people think about me”. I would have to ask what gave them that impression of me. I don’t believe many of us here know anything about each other except from our comments so I would beg them to show me the comment which led them to feel the way they feel. I would hope not to come off as low class or a nigga. Someone chose to call me racist before and said he could show my comments that proved it but he didn’t and never came back. I also take time to hear what a person is saying and use how they say it as a factor of how I deal with them, and not a means of whether or not I will listen to them. Perception.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 5 March 2010:
(Eating popcorn)
This woman just got to this board. This Queen Latifah character. Now she is talking about yahoo chatroom and how it was so great to “censor” people.
If you like yahoo so much, go back to that chatroom. I have been here for months. I don’t have any plans on leaving anytime soon you round face mutt.
You have some nerve insulting the intelligence of people like ICH. I don’t tell Big eyes to defend me or anybody for that matter.
They can say whatever they want about me. LOL You can say my personal life is my business. You said you was with two men at the same time. I can’t guess what your personal life is.
I go a “God complex”. Sure I do. Everybody got flaws but you justify them. You seem to here quite often. How about spend time with you’re “two white men”.
MsBrown makes some good points. The war will not end on my side of it.
Sellout black women started this war. On top of that, they can’t even get a white man to do blogs worshiping them. They are pulling out NY articles with 1 or 2 couples dating “out”.
I have never been with a white woman. But I hardly see articles showing black men with white women. The media is not interviewing white women involved with black men. Why is that happening?
The media will feel sorry for 35 year-old black women and their dating woes while she is in her prostitute outfit.
If they want to date white men so much, why doesn’t the media interview and encourage white men to do so. Stop making excuses like “Oh white men are scared”.
Shit, If I want a woman. I go get her. White men practically got the sellout black girls legs spread OPEN and they ARE STILL NOT COMING TO HER. You know how sad that is.
Look for that New Blog Album. “The Day After Tomorrow for Sellout black women.”
I plan to put that prostitute’s picture on my blog too.
Sal you immigration lawyer. Black men can comment on this board just like you have the right to comment.
Why are you hiding your martial status from all the women here?
You claim to be “the morality” in the room. I answered all the tough questions. You are a pussy because you dodge tough questions.
You a have a nice day.
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
“scrape, scrape” a missed a spot, “scrape” Watch out, don’t step on it.
Comment by tatted2death on 5 March 2010:
LMAO@the chaos in here…..Some feel “attacked” and like they “won” something in here….(LOL). Others are too busy STILL sipping on my bath water to even keep there own lies straight in here. Man, I know at least TWO people on here that are ecstatic that they only show the last 200 comments. Helps right along with that “making shyt up” campaign you all have going. This is why some people need to just turn off their dayum T.V…….bringing “reality show” logic to the internet….tsk tsk.
Have Fun Good People
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death (The Blog ANTI-Legend…..pfft)
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 5 March 2010:
QQ Tatt
I heard you’re white man is making you wear a “snuggie” before you go to bed. Tatt you are still hiding in the background again. Nobody is drinking your bath water. It wasn’t enough Big Eyes spanked you. You keep coming back for MORE.
Nobody makes up shit here. Tatt what do you think about Bama and her “two white men”?
I am interested to know.
Comment by Ichibod on 5 March 2010:
Hi, Tatts!
I hate that they only show the last 200. The pages load faster now and there’s no typing lag anymore, but they still should have an archive somewhere. I wish James would come around sometimes to interject, clarify, and/or defend himself.
Comment by tatted2death on 5 March 2010:
NO hiding going on here, “Daffy”…..just don’t see the point in adding to the chaos. Whenever I try to offer “olive branches” to help shift the effing gears here, people get all bent so I just stay in my corner and let the “kids” have their tantrums….lol
Oh wow…..are you still filling Bigeyes’s head full of “fairy tales” about her “spanking” me and “taking my man” (and all other sorted nonsense that she has no trouble spouting on the regular like a Buckingham Fountain of Queens’ Phucked Up TRUTH)??? One “trick” pony, indeed.
And I am not foolish enough to think you are seriously asking for my opinion on another woman’s situation here……why would you be???? NOT, YOU in all your, glorious omniscience…..that knows when a woman has slept with a man, how many times, what brand condoms they used or didn’t, etc. Ok….if it makes you feel better, I’ll just say you “twist” shyt…LMAO.
I keep coming back simply because I CAN…..sorry, you nor your “puppet” completed the “mission” (or “met” THAT “objective”…..LOL.
Like I said…..reality T.V. has warped AND rotted alot of people’s brains….got them thinking they can “scare” or “embarass” someone off the Internet….LMAO.
Heya, Ich…..yeah….well, I appreciate the lack of “lag”….but now some have just taken advantage of it…..can’t really blame them though, it’s the only way they seem to be able to “win”….lol. I get the feeling “James” is maybe a nom de plume for the would-be moderator/site admin (collective)….never know.
Peace (just because it is part of who I am) and Blessings (because I REALLY do have enough of my own to spare)
tatted2death
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Another loser hypocrite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKOxnnwFlq0
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 5 March 2010:
That is a good youtube.
This Spanish bean eating coward. Have you told your Latin Wife about the black mistresses you have “Latino Mail”?
I might have to put that youtube on my blog next to the prostitute.
Good day
Tatt and “in depth” responses lol. You giving out “Olive Branches”. Right, and I am the “Pope”.
LOL People here love to duck questions. It is a simple question is it okay to “to date two white men”?
What is so hard about that? I have yet to get a “straight” answer.
You are right Tatt, I shouldn’t asked you that. Obviously, many women in here are not even defending Queens Latifah.
Sal said “Bama” is just “exploring” her relationships. I guess exploring is wearing different sexy lingerie for her “two” white men.
Good day.
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Ichibod, I agree, you really can’t go back and look at older posts.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 5 March 2010:
@Ichibod first of all If I wanted to call you a low class nigga, I would just came out and say it not hide behide my comments. You’ve read my comments you think I’d have a problem telling you how I feel? The best point I’ve read so far was by MSB and that was the point I was primaryly making. My main point to you was that most of the men on here won’t say anything cause they are either scare of Queenie or agree with him to a certain extent because he doesn’t call you guys out. Why? He needs you on his side. The silence is defeaning…
@Queenie you just going to add layers to the story. So far I’ve: Slept with two guys, brought sexy under wear for said men,Sal and I have exchange numbers, now I’m his “black mistress” next week I’ll be pregnant, the week after that who knows? I guess everyone needs to stay tune to find out what happens next.
I’m glad I’ve given something to do and talk about since you are obviously bored with your life. And to think you accused me of not having a social life when it’s obvious you don’t.
I’m amused to say the least
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
I love how certain people remember EVERY WORD AND PHRASE I MAKE,LOL. “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh”….one indication of victory….I’m still on your mind…..”objective met”….LOL.
Although, this thread had been “shortened”, I still have posts that would display the source of “embarrassment” for some so they can’t “SHARE” in the “glee” of a clean slate,ha ha….anyway I digress.I’m just thorough like that. Some people are unable to filter and process logic and truth that’s why they “disconnect” from broadcast t.v,lol. I say, a truly balanced,healthy person should be able stay connected WITHOUT “loosing it”….LMBO. Let me stop because I feel the “warrior/victor” rising up again, just a “apart” of me,LOL.
Peace, but not with “no” olive branch,lol.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
@Bama
Many, including myself have defended you so no one has been silent or in silent agreement out of fear. I don’t think anyone on hear is afraid,especially if there is nothing to be “called out”. I fear no one.Mercy is often mistaken for weaknesss.Trying to keep peace is mistaken for fear. We have been on this blog awhile and we know the ropes. We know what’s going to happen next so why would we keep watching the “movie”? You are not the first and you won’t be the last is my point.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 5 March 2010:
(Putting my drink down)
I must be bored at work to respond to this. You made the comment Low class nigga”. It is not even about Ich, you are asking him to get involved like he is my big brother or father. You sound stupid. Ich does not even agree with most of what I say.
Sal ain’t even coming to your defense concerning Ich. You are just lashing out at this point. Nobody is scared of anybody here.
You said you were with “two white men”. THESE ARE YOUR WORDS. You said one was a “lawyer” and the “other one was a retail store owner”. The implication to some people maybe you are bragging about it. You don’t have anything to hide. Just say you are not sleeping with both men. You won’t even do that!
End of story, and people would say “Laurelton” is just trying to “come after her” for no reason. The more you talk, the better it is for me. I just let you keep going.
I never said you and Sal exchanged numbers. You are just throwing shit out there for “personal gain”. You like Sal, go talk to him. Don’t try to play that game with me. Sal defended you once and now he wants to be with you? He said you was “exploring” relationships. LOL Borderline called you a slut bucket.
You are the definition of a “crab”. These two white men “are good men”. Oh, but you won’t “put” another black woman on to 1 of the guys you talking too. You said you have “Black female friends”. Don’t act like you can’t hook up one of the white guys with a friend of yours.
I feel like ‘throwing your ass on the bed”. Damn, you make me mad.
Stop mentioning “other” people. They are not going to help you Queen Latifah!
(Taking Tatt’s Olive Branch)
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 5 March 2010:
@BE I really wasn’t talking about the women but a lot of the men. I’m really disappointed that hardly any of them said anything. This man not only called me a degatory name but he continues to lie. Like the young lady said earlier, it’s about respect. WE could have agreed to disagree but because he felt I embrassed him, he starts bullying me for no reason other then the fact I have the NERVE to call him out on his BS and will continue to do so when deemneccessary. This guy is a cyber bully.
@Queenie you just trying to jusitfy your lies since you don’t know the truth. You think you brow beat me into some kind of confession or admission, but in truth your pattern is obvious. You are cyber bully. The problem is the bully has run up against someone whom is willing to fight back and not take your mess.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 5 March 2010:
Interesting article on Black women and online dating from Essence.com. Good news for this site apparently…
As the talk about how difficult it is for Black women to date continues, NYTimes.com blog “Freakonomics” is chiming in on the conversation, examining our chances of finding a match on the Web.
The post explores the response-rate, from men of all races, to messages sent by Black women on the popular online dating site OKCupid.com. Apparently, men replied to e-mails sent by Black women less often than they did to notes sent by women of other races–even when they appeared to be a good match, based on the dating site’s calculations.
“Men (including African-American men) write back to African-American women at about a 20 percent lower rate,” the post reads.
It’s disappointing that men who would be open-minded enough to look online for love would not be open enough to communicate with women of all races. However, it would be even more upsetting if this information discouraged Black women who are new to online dating from sending e-mails to people for fear of a non-reply.
Let’s not jump to the conclusion that just because men on this one dating site respond less to Black women that men on all dating sites are similarly inclined. There are other online dating sites where we might be in higher demand–like BlackPeopleMeet.com and InterracialSingles.net. Oftentimes men from all races join Black dating sites to meet single Black women. In contrast, some Black women have said they receive more messages from Black men on interracial dating sites than they do from men of other races. We wouldn’t go to the same bar every week to meet the same old guys. Therefore, we shouldn’t limit ourselves to one Web site when we’re looking for love.
It’s important to not let the negative information about our chances at finding love give us a chip on our shoulder. We’re smart, beautiful, fun-loving, resourceful women. We’ll work it out.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/relationships/hot_topics_5/black_women_have_less_success_in_online.php#ixzz1YO8vKElY
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 5 March 2010:
All I have to say about this is AMEN THANK YOU JESUS SOMEONE ACTUALLY GETS IT!
Michele Grant from Black ‘n Bougie reacts to all the sudden attention focused on the single Black woman and her dating life. From relationship gurus to bloggers with an opinion, she declares “enough is enough.”
“Stop telling me how I think, what to do, how to look, who to date, when to exhale…I beg of you.”
I get it. I really do. Bashing or even borderline bruising Black women is what hot in da streetz. By bashing I mean telling us why we ain’t nothing, ain’t gonna have nothing, ain’t gonna have nobody to share nothing with. Sure, it gets you book deals and blog views and radio shows and talk shows and photo ops and movie deals and basically… paid. I get it. You found a hustle that works and you only have to kick a group of people that are already down to do it.
Oh, you think you’re being helpful offering up your “self-help” and “how-to” and “best way” opinions to us? Even those of you that are not directly authoring the yada-yada, do you really think you’re helping by adding in your “tsk-tsk” or “co-sign” two cents response to the media swirl about all the problems with the sisterhood? You’re not. You are adding to the already cacophonous wall of noise. I respectfully request that right after commenting on this post J… everyone just shut up.
I am talking to celebs and so-called relationship gurus, writers, columnists, bloggers, regular folks talking in the coffee shop, women and men, young and old, Black, White, and everything in between… just STOP.
STOP re-quoting the statistics about successful educated Black women never getting married or having kids. Would you rather we stayed stupid and broke for the sake of a ring? Of course not, so how is reminding us of the statistics going to help? It’s just going to make the desperate more desperate and the hopeless less hopeful. I can’t see the good in that. Those of us staying optimistic become less so in the face of all the overwhelming evidence. Maybe we will (get married), maybe we won’t but the continuous talk of a “crisis” in the community (because of our unmarried state) is just plain mean.
STOP telling me how to look to catch a man. No, it’s not my weight. I’ve been everything from a size 8 to a 22 and back again and had a man at every one of those sizes. No, it’s not my hair, I’ve been straight, kinky, wavy, weaved, pony-tailed and darn near bald… had a man at every step of the way there, too. For every so-called flawless woman with a ring, I can name two so-called flawless women without one. Oh, magazines–this is for you, too. Stop telling us that this lipstick, that high-heeled boot, that pencil skirt is the thing we MUST own to snare Mr. Right.
STOP telling me to date (or not to date) White men. All of you. Seriously. I’ll date that blue dude from “Avatar” if I freakin’ want to. People dating the rainbow coalition, good for you. People only attracted to a certain type, good for you. People who have given up on one type and are looking for another type to swoop in and save them, good luck with that. Either way, I’m tired of hearing about it.
STOP looking for someone to blame. It’s not that all Black women are mean or picky or high-maintenance–GTFOH with that. It’s not that all Black men are trifling or thuggish or under-employed–that’s bullshiggity, too. All the Black men are not in jail, all the sisters aren’t expecting “too much”–those are cop out answers. I’m sure every woman who is single could sit down and point to a variety of reasons (good, bad and in-between) why they are that way today. Each story is an individual one both personal and unique to the person telling it. Let them own that story, quit painting with the broad strokes…
STOP acting like we are either sitting around waiting to exhale or are gasping our last breath surrounded by 20 cats. Can we not be vibrant, complete individuals regardless of relationship status? And this goes for you too other sisters… stop giving us the “I’m so sad for you” look because you have a man and we don’t (at the moment). This just makes us angry and less sympathetic should things not work out between you and your boo. We don’t need sympathy, just a little support and a smile. Please and thank you in advance.
STOP acting like my brains are a detriment. I shall not be dumbing it down for the cause of snaring a man. Nor will I emasculate him by pointing out all the stuff I may know that he doesn’t. Not everybody can match my Scrabble game… I’m evil with it, son… evil. Don’t come at me with the Trivial Pursuit either… moving on. This whole concept of acting like I’m less than I am to make a man feel like more than he is… that’s crap. That means we are not a fit. Onto the next… hopefully.
STOP judging me because I have standards. Not prejudices… standards. Sure I would date the UPS man if we found each other attractive and interesting. But the UPS man who has four kids, four baby mamas, two parole officers and a habit of blowing his paycheck on a great batch of chronic… hell no. That doesn’t make me snobby or bougie, that makes me self-aware of my own code of values, tolerance and limitations.
STOP assuming we all want Barack ambition, Denzel smile, LL Cool J body, Kanye swagger, LeBron money and Idris vibe. I mean, that’s nice and all but we know expecting one dude to have all of that wrapped up in one package is ridiculosity of the highest order. Most of us would be happy with someone we can trust, laugh with, talk to and ride out a crisis with your mutual affection and admiration still intact. We’ll start with that every day of the week.
STOP telling us that you (and you alone) have the answer (the fix, the cure!). You don’t or we wouldn’t still be talking about it. And by the way, if your answer involves me becoming a completely different person than I am, you may keep that. Don’t start with the argument that clearly what I’ve done up to now hasn’t worked… er, uh–I know. You throwing Hallmark-style affirmations my way (packaged as a book of “get a man gospel”) is useless and kinda slimy.
STOP helping. Really, stop offering up opinions and concern and editorials. Especially if your own relationship history is kinda suspect. I wouldn’t take boat-steering advice from the Exxon Valdez captain or fact-checking advice from Jayson Blair… just sayin’.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/relationships/hot_topics_5/commentary_single_black_ladies.php#ixzz1YO4EjLEb
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
@Bama
I understand what you are saying and you feel compelled to stand up against Queens,it won’t work. I have seen Queens make some valid points when he stays on the points. I say this all the time, this is a blog/forum, there will be debates. Some of us,Queens included enjoy that part of it. I mean even Salsassin has admitted to enjoying some part of it(the debate),maybe because he is a lawyer,IDK. I accepted that part of this “place” long ago. I don’t agree with calling names UNLESS that person has gotten personal in some way with you FIRST, then you have a right but it MUST BE CLEAR and not “imagined”. That’s my opinion and not some sort of rule of the blog or anything. That’s just what I go by and just because it’s a rule that I CAN choose to execute,doesn’t always mean I take advantage of it. If I really wanted, I could down right “dog” some people out on here but I don’t.Some people draw you in, I mean I have someone who constantly keeps making references to me,about me,mentioning my name even though I have long defeated them in debate, dismissed and written them off. Truly offering peace means at some point you stop. You don’t offer olive branches and then keep fighting. I mean that’s only logical thinking to me. I implore you, please stop. Don’t be like the aforementioned example. It will go on and on. Share your insight and keep going.But if you choose to stand and fight, that is your choice but guard your heart by picking your best shield and choosing your deadliest weapons because it will and can get bloody in here,lol.
Peace, but I don’t offer branches because I may still have to defend myself,lol
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
Ha ha BAMA you go girl.
I guess I busy responding to your first post and then I saw the last one,sorry I’m so slow. I agree,take the statistics and be aware of them but not a slave to them. Stop telling me that I ain’t got nothin, nobody to share nothin’ with…omg LOL. I long ago learned to stop attaching myself to other peoples labels, self-fulfilling prophecies, and attempts to define me. That’s why no one on here can bother me. This power has often been misinterpreted as “feeling myself” but relaxing comes from when you can face facts according to statistics and experts, but still work to change YOUR own individual facts and numbers.
Now,anybody having any oscar parties?LOL.
Comment by godiva61 on 5 March 2010:
@Ms.Tatted and Ms.bigeyes31,
First off, I would like to thank you BOTH for your compliment’s and admiration of me, I am truly humbled and appreciative of your sentiments towards me!!!! I can not and will not take the credit, the credit belongs to GOD. It is HE that has opened my eyes, my heart, and silenced me when I needed to be silent, so that I could listen to what I NEEDED to hear, and not just what I WANTED to hear!
Second, I love you BOTH and I admire your intelligence, beauty and stong will. I think that the two of you have so much to offer in order to make this world a better place for us all and for that I am grateful.
Third, and my reason for writing this, is because I would LOVE to see the two of you make peace with each other, or at the very least, committ to not bringing up the PAST in any way, shape or form. I can not, nor wiil I, ask either of you to be something that you are not, and I definitely don’t want either of you to be phony, but I am asking you BOTH, to start ANEW from this day forward. We can not go back and change what we have said in the past, but we can change the tone, and the outlook of the future. This does NOT mean that I expect the two of you to be the best of friend’s, it would be nice, but, you do NOT have to continue on in this manner!!
I want you to BOTH know that because I genuinely care about you both, and I want and pray for the very best in your lives for today as well as the future. I was hoping and praying by now this situation would have ceased, but since it hasn’t, I felt compelled to speak to you about it. The TWO of you are much more in depth and in character to continue on in this manner!!!
Since we ALL fall short from time to time, it is in my opinion that BOTH of you could look back and see where you both could have, should have, said something in a different manner, or not say something at all, that’s something to at least think/meditate on, what do you think? I don’t need an answer, nor do I expect an answer, and besides, the true answer is in EACH of your heart’s.
Last but not least, it doesn’t matter how or why this got started, but I think you owe it to yourselves, to end it!!!!! I love you BOTH enough to say, without a doubt or with any hesitation, that I, expect better from both of you!
I’m hoping that you receive this in the manner in which it comes, which is love and I don’t want either of you to be mad at me for my feeble attempt of intervening but I could not go on another day without trying to bring about peace. You see I believe that one day I might be asked “why didn’t you try”????? If either of you become angry with me, I won’t like it but I’d rather take the chance on you not liking me, rather than continue to keep looking myself in the mirror knowing that I didn’t at least try!!!!!! I’m still going to love you BOTH even if you are mad(lol)..
Please, just think about it!
love
godiva
Comment by godiva61 on 5 March 2010:
To the believers on this site,
GOD is not a GOD of confusion or chaos!! If you are promoting/condoning chaos and confusion, this is NOT of GOD!!!!!!!!
To the Non-Believer’s, Agnostic, Atheist or whatever you want to call yourselves, if you are promoting/condoning chaos and confusion, the word for you is, KARMA!!!!!!!!!
love
godiva
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 5 March 2010:
@BE that is the BEST written article I’ve seen yet on the subject and in general that’s how I feel. How can you tell a person how they should feel, think or act because each situation is different for each person. I just thought he brought some truth to the siutation.
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Damn, Michelle Grant, what a brilliant article, and I can’t for the life of me see how a woman that intelligent and that beautiful could be single. Right now I wish I was an Avatar to date her.
Something wrong with the world.
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Oh ok. That picture isn’t her. LOL. She ain’t bad looking though. And with that mind, quite appealing.
Comment by boots on 5 March 2010:
Greetins to all.. Hey Sal…..I dont shine shoes…lol..all that stuff you got posted about myths is good..stay tuned I got a good resposne 4 you…….To MzBrownsugar…I love blk women, been married 25yrs to a beautiful blk women, and Iam sure queen cares about blk women too ,myself I dont use degrading language when referring to blk women. Unlike SAL when he talks about blk men ‘ go shine some ‘ that’s degrading toward a blk man ,but you guys dont seem to have a problem with good old SAL.. btw Sal has had a beef with several blk men on this site…myself, queens, fenway2k..We have a problem with the fact that some blk women dont want to hold white men accountable…..indeed I have been going on back and forth with a guy(SAL) who claims to be educated but wont even admit that blks have suffered most from slavery …go figure…..I more
Comment by boots on 5 March 2010:
Sorry guys… that last comment should be deleted(I more)…I did have 1 more thing, but it can wait.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
boots
good point boots I didn’t like that reference about the the “shining shoes”. I do think that is degrating and I Failed to say so. I will say this though I felt like you guys are well able to defend yourselves as you have proven.Sal against you, Fenway against Sal and Queens against the world,lol Bama is shall I say a “weaker vessel” as the Bible refers to us women spiritually speaking. Let me put it this way, I have seen men fight and I ain’t jumping in a fist fight between men,lol. I would like to keep my jaw in intact,lol.
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Lucky you. I don’t buy the cheap shoes. So every once in a while I do shine them. Of course we don’t need to shine them in the military anymore.
I never asked anyone to shine my shoes unless he was working doing that, including some of my fellow Latinos who are some of the best shoe shiners out there. I also don’t go looking for fights with old people and then get my ass whooped. I also don’t talk badly to Black men. I talk disrespectfully to individuals who already showed their disrespect to me and my people, be they Euro, Afro or indigenous.
No, I will not support your victimology. I fully acknowledge the Black Holocaust. As well as the Roma Holocaust, the Armenian Holocaust, the millenary abuse of the Irish, etc.
I hold White people accountable. I just don’t give Black people a pass.
just go to youtube and look at my videos. I have a lot of anti Afrocentric stuff. But I also have anti Eurocentric and anti indigenocentric stuff. So try again. youtube dot c om and then:
/watch?v=E2VV6UdKdig
/watch?v=3wzjMS9r8NY
/watch?v=nWM3gumZzlo
/watch?v=dATB4Xa0ve8
/watch?v=iYoTFE3a7cc
/watch?v=ksKSAIjI84I
/watch?v=iHO4DfA0y_k
/watch?v=dXGDo-SqFec
/watch?v=acc3snelE9U
/watch?v=acc3snelE9U
/watch?v=V7-IFRCKOVI
/watch?v=e1ErpARc11g
/watch?v=NqMi9YDRlEI
/watch?v=mVCSttXBapw
/watch?v=z-34ws2w3Zo
/watch?v=Q-E7cf0Pcn8
/watch?v=eW9oQhhLQZI
Can you say the same thing? When have you ever had the balls to criticize your own people.
No, I criticize fake ass hypocritical idiots such as yourself, not Blacks.
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Doing a cross country trip helping a friend move, so my responses will probably come in a week or so. Have at it Boots, I’ll respond when I get back. Still haven’t put you in the stale gum category.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
Ms.godiva
You know what,you are right. I will give it an honest try to ignore certain people. I will do it out respect for myself and the respect I have for you and because it’s rigt. I can only try my best but I can’t make any promises. No, I don’t get mad about correction because I know it comes from love,ms godiva. No, not at all mad with you
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 5 March 2010:
(Eating pop corn)
(Just looking around). I hardly get off topic until emotional people say something to me. It is never personal for me.
Queen Latifah pulls out an article that backs up everything that has been said about white men picking black women last.
1. I don’t know if the author understands that sellout black women are not to blame. White men are just not that interested. You pulled out the statistics and start “denying it”.
Who does that???????????
2. Who are these “mysterious” people telling black women who to date, how to think, and what to do?
I don’t know they are. Yea, I might know. The sellout black women bloggers that have led black women “astray”. How do you explain to your constituents the mighty white man picks you “last”?
Basically, you can’t do it so you blame black men.
All roads lead back to black men. When black women fail, it was “black ass” Laurelton that did it. LOL
40 percent of black women have never been married. Black men “play a part in that”. However, the same white men you “worship” are not exactly beating down the door for you either. Listen, this issue has been ongoing for black women for the last 10 to 15 years. They cry and complain on National Television. The media gets bored. The sellout black women go back “to bashing black men”. The cycle repeats itself all the time. Mind you, the media never really “interviews” white men about why they refuse to date black women or email them back.
Let me show how dysfunctional sellout black women are. Instead of “lashing out” at white men, they make EXCUSES for them.
This was an interesting comment from “above”.
“STOP telling me to date (or not to date) White men. All of you. Seriously. I’ll date that blue dude from “Avatar” if I freakin’ want to. People dating the rainbow coalition, good for you. People only attracted to a certain type, good for you. People who have given up on one type and are looking for another type to swoop in and save them, good luck with that. Either way, I’m tired of hearing about it.”
Some might say the Blue Avatar might run from you too. Black women would cry and complain the Blue Avatar likes white women! At this point, when the statistics are this low for black women. It is not the “men”. You need to point the finger at yourself. Your fellow desperate sellout black women is “telling” you who to date. Black men is not telling you who to date. White men are not telling you who to date. “Other black women” are doing this.
It is amazing to me this “woman” is throwing a tantrum but is not directly attacking the culprits who make money off her misery.
Another example
“I get it. I really do. Bashing or even borderline bruising Black women is what hot in da streetz. By bashing I mean telling us why we ain’t nothing, ain’t gonna have nothing, ain’t gonna have nobody to share nothing with. Sure, it gets you book deals and blog views and radio shows and talk shows and photo ops and movie deals and basically… paid. I get it. You found a hustle that works and you only have to kick a group of people that are already down to do it.”
I do recall white men “directed and produced” “Something New”. Something New and Lakeview Terrace are not fair representations of all black women and dating. Monster’s ball and Precious are not fair representations of all black women.
Sal disagreed with me because he sees many “Monster’s ball black women” in his neighborhood. On the verge of eviction and with an obese male child.
The author just noticed they made money off her lonely black ass. Several sellout black women have books out. I don’t knock them because I might do a book too. If you are going to get self righteous about this “hustle”, admit you are trying to “hustle white men” to marry you.
I do not see white men doing a national televised interview saying “damn where the black women at”? Please show me that.
Judging from the author’s poorly written grievances, I know why she single.
Have a nice day.
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Just a caveat for the rest. Stale gum mentions the lack of interest in White men. I guess he forgets that Jim Crow just ended 40 years ago. The trend is still one of increase in interracial marriages. SO he can claim White men aren’t as interested all he wants, that interest is obviously growing. He also fails to notice that White men aren’t only American. In Latin America the Black White interrmarriage rate is 40%. And Afrodiasporic people in other countries are not so shy about marrying each other. There is no Jim Crow history. Many Black women have married White immigrants.
Comment by godiva61 on 5 March 2010:
@bigeyes31,
You know I love you girl, I’ve always have and always will! I love Tatt as well, but if Tatt for whatever reason(s) want’s to keep the comments coming, that doesn’t mean that you have to respond!!
When we let thing’s go, there’s no need to keep making mention of it, right???
Also, you know that every battle is not for you to fight!!! When you are right, your victory will come and you will never even have to lift a finger to see it come to pass!!
So what are your predictions for the Oscar’s? I haven’t watched the Oscar’s since they snubbed the Color Purple. I even missed when Denzel and Halle won, even though I didn’t like either one of those movies,but I wished I had seen them when they won!
love
godiva
Comment by Salsassin on 5 March 2010:
Just to give you an idea. The Netherlands has its greatest Afrodiasporic population from Surinam. 1/3 of the women studied where in interracial relationships with Dutch boys. That is a higher percentage than Black males with White females in the US.
Comment by godiva61 on 5 March 2010:
Okay, everyone I’m on a roll so bare with me, or not! Last night, I saw a young lady of 29 yrs old, lose her battle with breast cancer. It was very sad and humbling to see a young life slip away but as always with my line of work it makes me grateful for the wonderful life that I do have, but more importantly, it’s a constant reminder to me, to value the time that I have in this life. We waste money, we can get it back, but wasted time, never comes back!! Which brings me to my train of thought today about some of the nonsense and bullsh@#!, that occurs on this site!!!!
1. Common courtesy and good manners towards other’s, even in difference of opinion should be the NORM, not the ABNORMAL!!!! If you weren’t taught manners, that’s your problem, don’t make it our problem! Solution! Treat people in the manner in which you want to be treated!!!!!!
2. Stop with the HYPOCRISY!!! Just because you don’t degrade black women with verbal tirades and derogatory names, DOES NOT MEANT THAT IT DOESN’T HAPPEN HERE BECAUSE IT DOES! If for whatever reason(s) you say nothing, that’s your choice to do so, or not, but please don’t get mad when the assumption is that you are just as guilty because you say nothing!! Some might assume that your silence is CONDONING this type of behavior, notice I said some and not ALL!!!!
3.The above comment is directed towards the WOMEN as well!!!!
4. By now, everyone here should know the difference between SINGULAR and PLURAL!! Example, man is singular, men is plural!!!!!! Is is too much to ask, and expect to be treated as INDIVIDUALS regardless of our gender, race, race, creed???? Is this really too hard for some of us to comprehend???? Do we really know ALL white people, black women, asian women, etc, etc?
5. This is not kindergarten or grade school, so if you are into bullying and name calling, why should we refer to you as an adult???? Your credibilty went out the window the moment you started behaving like a 5yr old!!
6. There has been racial slurs on both sides of the fence. I just read the one that Salsassin made about the “shining of shoes”. I don’t agree with it, don’t like it, but I didn’t like it when AZ told a black woman(even though she is evil) to “go back to Africa”, and if my memory serves me correctly, no black person, male or female found that offensive enough to step to him except for me. If that’s not a racial slur then I don’t know what is!!!
7. If you have an issue with someone, be man or woman enough to go straight to that person and deal with the INDIVIDUAL, instead of trying to turn it into a black man, black woman thing! Not only do we NOT all look alike, we don’t all think the same! I am one of MANY black women, I am NOT all black women!!
8. Lastly, for now anyway, STOP trying to be the VICTIM and the PERPETRATOR all at once! To whine about how you as black woman/ black man is being treated and having a so called beef with someone, and the whole time you are provoking the situation, is HYPOCRISY at it’s best!! If you can’t take it then don’t dish it out!!!!!!! In other word’s, grow up!!!!!!!!
love
godiva
Comment by godiva61 on 5 March 2010:
P.S,
This is an interracial site right?, so why is it that Black and White is always the topic????? There are other people in this world besides Black and White and if you don’t know that, then maybe it’s time to open your eyes, travel, read a book, see the world!!
love
godiva
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 5 March 2010:
@Godiva agreed with everything you’ve said.
To the article, I loved it because it said everything I wanted to say but couldn’t quite find the words for it. She is just basically saying she is tired of everywhere trying to define why black women are single from black men to white men, from woman to woman and basically saying don’t let anyone box you in with their sterotypes.
It was the right article at the right time and I’m glad most of you liked it and GOT IT.
Comment by loveblkwomen on 5 March 2010:
I love black women and find them very attractive, confident, sexy and wonderful in the bed. I’m a white male 41 yrs old and wish I had married the black gilr I use to date in high school…. oh how I wish! She was the best lover, friend and girl I ever meet, but I allowed being picked at by white girls who I use to date and soem friends would do so as well. I should of never let them influence me like that!!! I believe you can only have one true love and I let mine walk right out of my life because of the race card that I let my freinds and family pull over on me. Do not ever let that happen to you…go for it, regardless of color!!!
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
@Ms godiva
You are right. Ok, I haven’t watched the Oscars for years myself. I too would like to have seen the speeches of Halle and Denzel too, but if you have access to youtube, just type something like denzel oscar speech and a video should come up.
Ok, here are my predictions,LOL.
Best Picture:The Blind Side or either Avatar can’t tell, again Cameron is a heavy hitter.
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side
I don’t think Sidibe will get it(precious)even though I want her to. Merryl Streep(heavy hitter)
Best Actor:George Clooney up against two heavy hitters Morgan Freeman and Jeff Bridges. I want Jeff Brides to win though,lol. A surprise for me is Colin Firth. I like his work.
Best Supporting Actor: Matt Damon for Invictus
Best Director: It’s a hard choice between Lee Daniels(Precious) and James Cameron. I want Lee to get it but he is up against some HEAVY,HEAVY hitters like Cameron who is one of my favorites. He comes out with a movie only once every 8-10 YEARS and hits HARD when he does,lol. He is responsible for the movie Titanic, Aliens not Alien and the Terminator and the Terminator 2:Judgement Day. His spin on Aliens and the Terminator are masterpieces in my opinon. Another one of my favorite heavy hitters is Quentin Tarantino:Jackie Brown, Pulp Fiction and my favorites Kill Bill vol 1 and 2.
Best Supporting Actress :Mo Nique what can I say the lady did the d@MN thang!! Oh, go to YOUTUBE and watch her Golden Globe acceptance speech, beautiful.
There are some other smaller categories but I have already talked/typed your ears off,sorry,lol. I’m just a movie lover and like analyzing them,forgive me.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 5 March 2010:
James Cameron also responsible for Avatar
Comment by MzBrOwNSuGaR on 5 March 2010:
@Ichibod:
boots hadn’t said anything to me, I was responding to his post.
————-
@boots :
I do know you haven’t used disrespectful terms, that wasn’t what I was saying, or trying to say, or referring to, or whatever, lol.
… “Iam sure queen cares about blk women too”
If ya read the things he says and believe that, ok.
… but you guys dont seem to have a problem with good old SAL.
Lol @ “you guys”, no where has anyone seen me jump on that band wagon. Like I said before, some are just enjoying the fighting.
Comment by Scoff/Sarah on 6 March 2010:
Still hanging around:
Ah I see Mr. Queens is still at it, starting a big,(what ever), baiting up everyone, then trying to use all his tricks to make them look foolish. In the end who wins, he is still spending more time on the blog than all of us put togeather, hmmm does that say alot about his life or lack of one. I know he is an alright person, just a little mis-directed.
I’m feeling real good today as it is Saturday and that special Lady is going to be hear any minute now, and we do have big plans, down to the coast dinner and a little music, Lord only knows she needs a little down time, still taking care of family, (as she should) so I try to make her time here count.
Lots of laughs, and alone time, we still talk about our younger days and laugh, and that first kiss, and yes she was really scared someone would find out she kissed a white boy. (1964 rural south Alabama). I still tease her about that, once in Wal-mart, she laughed at me and planted one hot passionate kiss on me in front of a black cashier. Stood back and looked at me then the cashier and said thats my man. The lady just rolled her eyes and laughed.
Anyway everyone have a nice day, it is good to see all my old friends around Lady Godiva, (FIRST CLASS LUV YU.)
Love all of you
Scoff
Comment by Ichibod on 6 March 2010:
Hey Scoff!
@ Salsa,
I’m still going through your YouTube videos. Quite impressive. I haven’t figured out what to do with my page yet.
@ Bama,
It would have made more sense to ask me, ” What if someone called you bad names or attacked your character and credibility” rather than finding a name for me to be called. Leave the imagination up to whomever chooses to disrespect me. I’ve been called many things. I’ve never heard those three words used together in any order as an insult, or even as a rap lyric. How clever of you to come with that off top, or perhaps how deep is you mind in the gutter. No one is afraid of Laurelton (I would think not), nor does he need anyone on his side. The silence is defening to you, but you should take it as good advice.
“Bashing or even borderline bruising Black women is what hot in da streetz.”
You need to stay out of the streets, Girlfriend. I do.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 6 March 2010:
@Ichibod
Ich if what I said offended you in some way,now you know in some small part how I felt and how some of the other ladies feel.
Comment by Ichibod on 7 March 2010:
Bama,
I was not offended at all by your comments. Every knows what it’s like to be offended by something. Some poeple may be offended by the way they are approached, some people may be offended by coreection, some may be offended by rejection, and others may be simply by the truth. Not everyone who is offended for whatever reason shares their offense from the same perspective and not everyone is offended by the same things. So, no. I am not sure how you feel. And as far as other ladies, seeing as though you’ve somehow been nominated as the official spokesperson for the other women on the thread, I’m not sure how they feel, either. I was just trying to show you a different perspective and you’re obviously not trying to hear it. I’m going to leave it alone now. Just do you and and hope it leads you to where you want to go. Also, since I was a child, the only thing I ever liked about Essence magazine was the hair care ads. I used to try and pose like the guys on the S-Curl boxes.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 March 2010:
I don’t even know what she is “offended” by.
The fact that I told her she is slut bucket for dating two white men.
Is she offended that the “perception” sounds like the truth?
All she had to say was “I am not sleeping with none of the men”. Instead, she made herself look worse.
None of the women on this board even defend her. The people that “she thinks” are defending her. They just dislike me and my comments.
The last person to defend you was Sal and he even said “she could be exploring relationships”. Not even an “Lawyer” can defend you concerning the two white men you are currently manipulating.
Ich is actually being nice to your ass. You come off like you are “attacking him” for “what I say”.
Stop all the bullshit whining and complaining. Just address the issue that got your ass in trouble on the board in the FIRST PLACE. The fact you are with “two white men”.
I don’t even make comments towards you anymore. Obviously, my comments bother you because it is true. You even took your picture down. People might recognize you in Alabama and “blow your spot” up.
Anyway, hey Scoff and Sara. Contrary to what people believe I like hearing positive stories about relationships, regardless of race.
Now debating the whole dating outside of your race is another topic altogether. My concern is black women thinking getting a white man is instant “Utopia”.
Good day
Comment by tatted2death on 7 March 2010:
THANKS to BAMA for her wonderful “STOP” signs….flawless. Bama,
I understand (more than you know) your predicament right now…..but HAVE FAITH….in yourself, FIRST. This individual (and anyone that truly takes his nonsense to heart) probably will not stop twisting because it provides the “shits and giggles” factor that helps his sensationalism thrive (and OTHERS “boredom”….excuses, much???) And the people that continue to read and ABSORB some of the nonsense that he writes in here (that have NOTHING to really do with the topic at hand….the “MADE UP SHYT”) are NOT going to step in here….WHY WOULD THEY REALLY??? I long ago have let this blog take a back seat and put certain individuals in their place (safely behind a screen and keyboard…were they seem comfortable enough to talk about things they cannot possibly know). Cyber-bullies, trolls, imps……whatever you choose to call them will ALWAYS be around. Some of us (who have been on this site longer than others) have seen many come and go; some of the last few have had some enormous “staying power”. They will call you everything under the sun yet expect you to sit on your laurels and get pelted from every side. Because no matter what you say from that point on everything you type will most definitely be meant for “only them” (lol).
I totally understood where you were coming from (perhaps because I am NOT “guilty” of silence here…LOL) when it came to the “defense” issue. Isn’t it amazing though that we have some in here that expect that same “defense” although they provide none…..perfect example is this latest “whine” over Salassin’s “misstep” in speaking of shoeshiners (didn’t know ALL shoeshiners were only black back in the day…amazing to me, what some people choose to get offended over). He definitely could have chosen a better “comeback” but why are other so-called “men” getting upset because WOMEN won’t come to their “defense” (IF that is REALLY what they think is needed…lol). AND THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME such BS has been perpetrated here…..remember World Citizen and a certain “plea” for us not to support her and her “lies”????….LMAO. Oh yeah, let’s rally around the ones telling us that we are basically worthless, instead…..the ones that call women “pussies”…..yup, that makes all the sense in the universe……(PFFT).
In short, I think you know what is going on here, Bama….and so do the other “characters” here…..because yes, we ALL play a “role” (whether we like to believe it or not)
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by tatted2death on 7 March 2010:
THANKS to Godiva (WARNING: ALL OTHERS MAY WISH TO SCROLL…LOL)……for your sentiments and “attempt”……but of course you know I can make no promise either (but think to yourself…..who was the last to “comment” before you offered your mediation???). The one thing I truly have faith in is some people’s adherence to HUMAN NATURE. And some people will do all the “can’t we all just get along” preaching UNTIL something has “rubbed” them the wrong way (and I am speaking on a PERSONAL level because I yoke myself with NO ONE that I have not had the pleasure/displeasure of meeting face-to-face). Of course, you wouldn’t care “how it all started” because you were not implicated at all…..it’s only natural….and I completely understand and respect your perspective. But I also understand that the Internet is the LAST place where I can expect “what is right” to win out. There is no justice to be had where people are so “anonymous” and protected by cyber space. Yet, the true warrior/survivor code lives somewhere deep in my heart…..”If I live, I will kill you…If I die you are forgiven”. Of course, not in those extremes and it is tempered mainly by my sincere and strong desire for peace (I can’t go around “killing”/destroying everyone that has “offended” and/or “wronged” me….lol…there is only so much time given to us). I am, at all times, brutally honest with myself (but who here can possibly know that as fact the way I do…lol) and I know what I am and am not above. I know of what human attributes I do and do not have the capacity. Of course I am not completely content and there is room for improvement. But all of that “shyt” matters not to the dear readers here. Most are looking for “entertainment” (myself included of course, at times)…..I provide. Some are looking for insight…..at times, I provide this as well. I look to “steal” no ones “thunder” here and nor to I wish to “mask” myself with self-righteousness. We all wish to be our best…..my only issue is when people chose to start “pretending” like they are the beacon to which all others must be compared….or that they are above occasional hypocrisy (no HUMAN is COMPLETELY immune to this….lol). THAT BS just does not fly with me. People that preach they don’t give others the power to “move” them yet they allow themselves to “get drawn in” tend to fit themselves neatly into a certain category for me….they do all the hard work there…LOL. I maintain my stance of ATTEMPING balance (within MYSELF). If that is interpreted as self-righteousness, so be it……for it essentially effects no one but ME.
Peace and Love to you, sis
tatted2death
Comment by tatted2death on 7 March 2010:
LOL@ICH……you don’t need the “chemical enhancement” (S-curl….I used to ask/speculate what the “s” REALLY stood for…..LOL)…those ads used to bust me up as well….in fact, take a look at any mag and you will see the same sort of madness. Guys trying to out “glam” the girls….girls so “slim” they look like boys. I am all for “blurring” all sorts of lines but there is a limit to this….LOL.
Peace
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
@tatted2death,
The way I see it, you BOTH continue to make comments towards each other.. Yes I know who made the last comment, but I also know who made the comment prior to the last comment, and this is perhaps why the conflict continue’s!! So I will say the exact same thing to you as I did to Natalie, which is, if Natalie continues to make snide comments about you/to you, that doesn’t mean that you have to respond.
Also, I did say “that it doesn’t matter how this got started”, this does NOT mean that I don’t care because I was not implicated as you stated. My reason for stating this was ONLY because I did NOT want other’s to jump in with their version of how it started. I was here so I know how it got started!! I intentionally left this part out in hopes that the conversation stayed focused on you and Natalie, and not everyone else. Of course I know other’s read what I said, it is a public forum, but I guess it’s safe to say that my stratedgy worked, because as of this moment, no other’s has commented with the exception of you and Natalie, the only two people who in my opinion, needed to respond.
You both have responded and I apprecaite it your response(s) and your honesty. As I stated in my original post, I was hoping that this tiff between the two of you would have ceased by now, and since that has yet to happen, and I do care about you both, I felt compelled to intervene in my own way, so that it could stop! If one of you, or both of you decide to continue on, so be it, I can’t stop you, however, it will continue to sadden me, to see the two of you go at it. You have my word as a woman, and a mother that I will NEVER bring it up again!
Last but not least, I am a peaceful person, by nature, here as well in my personal life. Yes I do promote and live by the ‘can’t we all get along mentality’, however, I am not so naive to know that sometimes we ALL have to put on our boxing gloves, so to speak in order to defend ourselves, including myself. However after the gloves come off, I’m still in favor of a peaceful resolution, and I will make no apology for living this way!
I could have played it safe and not said anything at all, but safe isn’t always best! If I had it to do all over again, I would! I am not sorry for what I have attempted here!
love
godiva
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
@Ichibod,
In response to your comment about Bama being nominated as the ‘official spokeswoman’ for the women on this thread, is somewhat puzzling to ME!
Let’s be honest here, Bama is NOT the first woman to express her concerns about the language, name calling that has been constantly used toward’s black women here on this site. There has been MANY women, including myself who has expressed exactly the same sentiment’s, only to have them dismissed, and watered down! I have also expressed my feelings about the blatant disrespect toward’s the few ELDERS, that are here, Scoff/Sarah, and World Citizen. These three people are older and wiser than any of us, and they DESERVED much better than what they received here on this site!!! And no we can’t honestly say that LQ was solely responsible for this, because there was one other who did more than his share of disrespecting his elders. Actually I think he was more horrible.
The point that I’m trying to make is this, ‘if and when something is being said by the MAJORITY of the people, then maybe there is some truth to what they are saying’!!!!
When I first came to this site, I heard the explaination for the name of ’sellout black women’. The reason given was when black women put down/degrade black men for being with white men, something along those lines. Okay, I do NOT agree with any woman talking in this manner, but I also do NOT agree when the men do it! Since it’s morally wrong when the woman, does it, it’s just as wrong when the men do it! Contrary to popular belief, I have heard black men say some pretty nasty things about ALL black women, especially those who now have a white partner, so are they sellouts? I never hear the men being called ’sellouts’, or their partners, I wonder why???? What I have heard here, is the excuse that it’s black women fault for black men wanting/desiring ONLY white women. When a black woman say’s the exact same thing, then it’s a problem! He has a reason/excuse, she has the exact same reason/excuse, but here she get’s villified, he get’s a free pass!!!
Speaking for me ONLY at this time, I have NEVER said any derogatory thing about a black man. I loved , respected, and honored my husband, my daddy and my brother’s too much to do reduce them by calling them out of their names. Even though I have never behaved in this manner here on this site, I still haven’t gotten the nastiness, the being called a whore, and being referred to as a ’sellout’! When a person says ‘black women’ this or that, women is plural, this means that I am included in this group! The same rule applies when women say ‘black men this or that’, you and EVERY single black man is included in that line of fire!
This is wrong, inappropiate, unfair, and just plain stupid!
Isn’t it just a little too hypocritcal for any of us to denounce certain behaviors, such as degrading your own people, but in the same breath, some of us are doing exactly what we don’t want done to us??
I’m not a slut, sellout, nappy headed etc,etc, and when these things are said, I don’t take them personally, but here’s the thing, if one of my sisters are being reduced in this matter, it’s just as DEVESTATING!!!! When one of my brother’s here are being downgraded, it would be, and is, no different if it was one of my relatives, including my son, the DEVESTATION is still there!!!
We ALL need to listen more, and try walking in another shoes every once in a while, then maybe we could be a little more aware of how we speak to one another!!!!
Making valid point’s is one thing but it seems the message keeps getting lost/ overshadowed by the name calling!!!!
When you TRULY care about other’s, it’s worth the effort and time to find the proper way in reaching out to them, so that they will listen to you, and respect you, this can not be done in a successful manner if your dragging them through the mud!
Where do we go from here?????? We all are in this
together!
love
godiva
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
@Scoff/Sarah,
Hi Scoff, Luv you too! I hope you and Ms. Sarah are having a good time, a real good time(lol).
Give Sarah a big hug and tell her that she is loved here and I’m praying for her family, especially her daughter. The best is yet to come!!!
love
godiva
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
Sunday and we are STILL on this.
@Ich if what I said didn’t bother you then, why even address it? The point I was making to YOU is that if someone called you out of your name,or better yet someone said that about your sister, momma, niece, gf etc, would you have a problem with it then?
Would you sit on the sideline then? I doubt it. Also my point was that most of the men don’t say anything because he doesn’t talk about YOU.
I have yet to see him call black men sell-outs or question why black men aren’t married and you know why? As long as some of you are silent, he probably assumes that you agree with him whether you do or not. I’m waiting for for the day when he calls some of the brothas out an see if ya’ll say anything then.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
@Queens Bashing or even borderline bruising Black women is what hot in da streetz. By bashing I mean telling us why we ain’t nothing, ain’t gonna have nothing, ain’t gonna have nobody to share nothing with. Sure, it gets you book deals and blog views and radio shows and talk shows and photo ops and movie deals and basically… paid. I get it. You found a hustle that works and you only have to kick a group of people that are already down to do it.
IF THE SHOE FITS…
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
@Godvia,@tatted2death, I wanted to thank you both for your words and getting where I was coming from. That article I posted spoke to me and probably to a lot of sistas on here who are tired of being bashed or someone trying to put them in a box or corner for their choices.
The thing I liked about that article too was it didn’t bash black men,it bashed people in general who try to question or put down the black woman. If anything, that article should have made some people take a step back and look at themselves.
If anyone got upset or offended by that article, then she was talking about you because why would a sista basically saying leave black women alone, offend anyone unless you are the culprit or gulity of what she was talking about.
Anyway ladies and all of you who spoke up and out thank you.
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
@Bamababe2k9,
Personally, I enjoyed the article, and thank you for sharing.. I guess this article is like anything else, a book, or a movie, people walk away with different opinions and perceptions, it shouldn’t be the end of the world, it’s not as if the article was jeopardizing this country’s natitonal security, but anyway, it is what it is!!!!
For what it’s worth, I hope that you, (for your own sakes) try very hard in the future to not let people get too far under your skin. Daddy used to say, ‘it’s not what they call you, but what you answer to’, and also as far as your voicing your opinion about the name calling on this site, we all been there, it’s been echoed here many, many, many times and I don’t think that it will ever change. It would be nice, but somewaht, unrealistic!
You are in a no win situation! Just know that I don’t think that you are a ________, for having two suitors. Unfortunately it has always been a double standard in this society when it comes to men and women on some issues, it will never change. I personally never did it that way, but that’s me, I have no right to judge you or make you feel less than a woman, human being, because of your personal choices. When men juggle more than one woman, society calls them player, romeo, the man, but when women do it, well you know! More hypocrisy and double standards!!!!!
love
godiva
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 March 2010:
(Reading all the comments)
Godiva you are dead wrong on some things. I don’t know if you are trying to win favor with the “woman” with “two white men”. Ich has supported you throughout the whole time you was on the board.
I am a big boy, I realize what is said. Essentially, people want to blame me for “everything”. Even the words that came out of their “own mouth”! I can’t make up a story of you being with multiple men. I don’t know how that can be done.
The girl that got called a pussy. She caught herself talking about “mothers”. I don’t talk about black women mothers and parents. However, if you want to get in the gutter we can do it. I pretty much keep the “fight clean”. I don’t drag people family and kids into a debate about whether interracial dating is “helping” black women.
The comment about shining shoes. That is a valid outrage. I am not saying it because I dislike Sal. Sal should have said “yea that was wrong”. Na, I don’t think he is racist, perhaps a little prejudice because of his “time” in the black community. Maybe, black men bullied him when he was a teenager. He has this vendetta against black men. He says some shit that makes me “shake my head”. Another person that accuses me of “twisting” their words.
If Queen Latifah stuck to the topic, maybe she wouldn’t be getting this type of criticism. First she cried about how black men don’t defend her. Then, she goes to Ich and asks him “about what I am saying”. He does not even agree with me on most things. She realized she “messed up” and say ” Oh don’t let it bother you Ich”. You was wrong slut bucket just “say that”! You owe Ich an apology for real. I do recall, you just got to “this board”. Now you are dictating how you “should be treated”. If you didn’t brag about your dating “lifestyle”. You wouldn’t be in this mess right now.
Since I don’t duck questions or statements. I have talked about black men being white women. I said “black women” made “black men go to white women”. Check my blog for that statement. I have gone in depth about that.
I don’t do the bullshit “Queen Latifah” does. The Tatted one only ” on your side” because she dislikes the “way I come across” and for the Big Eyes incident. I can respect that. Tatt really don’t let things ride. Big Eyes the same way. People are suggesting I started that. Na, AZ is my white homey. He know what he did. I just saw “what was going on”. I still get blamed for it. I don’t even promote the “beef” anymore. I like Big Eyes and Tatt.
However, Tatt is no “comparison” to you. I can’t recall Tatt saying she was with “2 men” at the same time. She don’t defend you on that. Nobody on here even defends you on that. They won’t even talk about it. I will keep doing it until I get a response.
Because if they did “defend you”. Godiva wouldn’t speak in “riddles”. Godiva is right on some things about me. But as far as “topics”, show me where I am wrong.
As for the article, sellout black women bash black men. I put the Karyn (Don’t bring home a white boy fame) interview on my blog. The white women asked her “should she abandon black men”. She ain’t answer the question directly. On top of that 80 percent of the interview was about “black men”. She get so frustrated that she “wishes” people wouldn’t talk about race. You named your damn book ‘DON’T BRING HOME A WHITE BOY”. This is how painfully delusional sellout black women are. If you think white men like being the “second option”, you got a rude awakening coming!
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Good day.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 March 2010:
Dear Godiva
You said this………………..
“You are in a no win situation! Just know that I don’t think that you are a ________, for having two suitors. Unfortunately it has always been a double standard in this society when it comes to men and women on some issues, it will never change. I personally never did it that way, but that’s me, I have no right to judge you or make you feel less than a woman, human being, because of your personal choices. When men juggle more than one woman, society calls them player, romeo, the man, but when women do it, well you know! More hypocrisy and double standards!!!!!
love
godiva”
This is the type of bullshit that makes me wonder about you Godiva. When does two wrongs make a right? Also, these two men, by her “own admission”, are good white Christian men. Do they deserve to be lied to about “her loyalty”? Do they deserve this type of deception? THIS IS THE SHIT that makes sellout black women fail in “interracial relationships”.
Even if the perception is “men do the same thing”. Women can’t do what “men do”. Not if you want a serious relationship or marriage. Yea, it is a double standard, but many things in life is “unfair”. Instead of cosigning what she is doing, get a backbone and call her on “it”.
You can knock me for my statements and even accuse Ich of supporting my statements about sellout black women. But you ignore her being a slut with two white men. Simply, because men allegedly do the “same thing”. That is a bullshit argument. I have never met a man “with two women” that people “accepted”. That is all false bravado. ESPECIALLY if the women “ARE GOOD WOMEN”. No man “pats his friend” on the shoulder for “using two good women”. Where the hell you heard that from?
This is really amazing. Godiva you go “over” on the side of the hypocrites. I thought you was neutral. You got a right to judge somebody that “judges” other people. She act like she an innocent. She judged me, I don’t cry about it. She judged Ich and Big Eyes, why you didn’t defend them?
This is where people get confused. If you rob a store, people call you a criminal. Are you going to say “don’t judge the person”. The same rule applies here. She claimed she was a “Christian” and “knows” what she is doing is wrong. But has the audacity to “demand respect”.
Fuck you, I don’t respect you!
Godiva I am disappointed in you.
( Closing the door)
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
@Queenie (eating my popcorn now) ohhhhhhhhhh how does it feel having to defend yourself son? Truth is a BITCH ain’t it? You all for talking about other folks business but when the tables are turned on you, you can’t take the heat. LOL The truth shall set you free. I think it was a lot of “freeing” today. LOL
@Godiva There is a double standard. Like I said about ole boy, he doesn’t have problem bashing black women but he doesn’t have the ballz to do it to black men on here because he wants them on his side and they are for now…
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
@Mr Queens,
Ichibod and I have supported each other, that will never change, at least it won’t on my part.. I consider him as a friend, and as far as I know we still are friends. Friends should be able to talk and disagree with each other, and still remain friends!
If you recall correctly and accurately, Ichibod was very harsh towards me in the beginning because he misunderstood what I was saying at the time, but when I wrote him back and explained myself in further detail, his heart was opened enough, to listen to my explaination and for that I was impressed!! I love Ichibod! He also apologized and so did I because, there was the chance that I perhaps created the problem in which I wrote it. It is not beneath me, or devestating to my ego to accept responsibility for what strife I may have caused, if for no other reason than to not REPEAT the same mistake twice!
You know I have always said that ALL of us are work in progress, and sometimes we ALL miss the mark, including myself! Since that is indeed the truth as I see it, it shouldn’t be hard to take constructive criticism!! I don’t know about you, but I look forward to improving and cleaning up whatever it is that I need to clean up and/or fix in my life!!!!
I have told you a couple times before that I do not approve of your name calling. I have also told you, that sometimes you have made valid point’s but becuase you are so stubborn, and sometimes too emotional and too involved in these women lives, you have a tendency to be cruel. If you don’t want to hear it or believe it, that is fine, it’s on you and I have no power to make you stop with this behavior, but that doesn’t mean everyone is in favor of this type of behavior. Personally I think if you if you changed your tactic, people might be more inclined to listen to you!
You are one for Honesty, so let’s be honest. You used to harass me all the time, and I took it, and I never did anything to you or made any mention of trashing black men, but you kept coming at me, just the same. I didn’t hate you then, and I don’t hate you now and no matter what you say about me, or what you think about me, I respect you enough as a black man and a human being NOT to call you deragatory names!!!!!
I’m not sure of which ‘riddles’ you are referring to, but if you are not sure of anything that I have said, I will be more than happy to answer you.
I am not your enemy, never have been, and never will be!!
love
godiva
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
It is my underatnding that to be a true Christian is to inspire to be ” CHRIST LIKE”! HIS word also says “that we are ALL SINNERS”, which simply means, there is NONE that is PERFECT!!!!!A sin is a sin, and all sins come with a penalty!! No sin is greater than the other!!!!!!
When you live with a man/woman before marriage and is having sex out of wedlock, it’s a sin.!!!!!
How many of us were virgins before we married! It doesn’t matter if they are your fiancee, girlfriend or not, nor is it more wrong if it’s more than one person. It’s still wrong in the eyesight of GOD!
Any person who is trying to live CHRIST LIKE, is still a sinner!!! There is NO perfection among IMPERFECT people!!!!!!!!!
love
godiva
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 March 2010:
(Listening to you Godiva)
Again, where are you denouncing Queen Latifah using “two white men”. I accept criticism. People can never accuse me of being with more than 1 woman. Let’s get that straight.
Secondly, I never preach to people about Christianity. I was born in the church (Seventh Day Adventist). I am open to judgement if I do something wrong. I don’t expect people to defend me “doing the wrong thing”. Godiva your problem is you want to “please” everyone. If you came out and said “Look girl you a slut bucket, I can’t keep defending you”. I could respect that. You don’t even DO THAT!
People need to clarify what ‘judging people” means. You are playing word games.
You also mentioned the Ich incident. You are wrong on that too. She “blamed” him for ME being “outspoken”. Again , you don’t denounce the woman or anything like that. yOU just sit there “riding” the fence. When is it acceptable to blame people “for what another person” says?
Godiva, I am not changing my tactic at all. This has been the longest thread I ever been on in my life. All because she “brags” about wearing sexy lingerie for two white men. LOL ( I am guessing she does).
The only name I called her was “slut bucket”. Tell me the “other” names I called her?
You are mentioning being harassed. That has nothing to do with what is “presently” happening now. This is a public board.
Queen Latifah says this:
“@Queenie (eating my popcorn now) ohhhhhhhhhh how does it feel having to defend yourself son? Truth is a BITCH ain’t it? You all for talking about other folks business but when the tables are turned on you, you can’t take the heat. LOL The truth shall set you free. I think it was a lot of “freeing” today. LOL”
What business, the fact you sleep with two Christian white men?
If the truth sets us free, tell everyone here if you sleep with “both men”?
I am always an advocate of the truth. LOL
Comment by boots on 7 March 2010:
Greetings to all…. The White world has succeeded in one respect… they have us at each other’s throats..until blk men and blk women can look into the eyes of one another and find love.. then this whole historic system of devaluation, pain and seperation will have won, until we (black people) have healed ourselves.. IR , dating, sex and marriage should be put well on the back burner.
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
Queens,
For the last time, It is not place to judge her for her choices, and it’s certainly not my place to call her a_____! Has anyone ever called you a derogatory name because you were living in sin, having sex with a woman, that you were yet married to?? If they have, it is in my opinion that would have been wrong and inappropiate!!!
You calling her a ______bucket, is cruel and harsh, in my opinion and in her opinion as well.. However you did mention the other day that perhaps this name was a bit harsh, but here you are again calling her the same name agian!!!! You already said it, you’re okay with it and I’m assuming proud of it, so keep at it if it makes you feel good, noble and honorable, I can’t stop you! What other name have you called her, you just called her the B word!
Do you ever read what you initialled said? It was you who broght up the fact that she and the so called boyfriends, are so called Christians, and how wrong she is to expect a man to be a christian, when she herself is not exemplifying Christianity!My answer then, as it is now, no Christian, non-believer, catholic, jew or gentile is PERFECT!!!
If and when I want to call someone a deragotory name, then I will do so! I will not do it because you want me to or expect me to. If I did that, that would mean that I have no backbone and I would be doing what someone else want’s me to, namely you. I am not a follower!
I don’t know what you are talking about concerning me and Ich, but I am referring to when I first encountered Ichibod, last year!!!!!
I mentioned the harassment issue to show you just how you treat people here unjustly… Of course you will deny it, and try to dismiss it, by asking ‘what has it to do with the present’. What does it have to do with the present, everything, because it’s still happening! I can recall a time, when Ich, said to you ‘I don’t like when you pick on my friend’s Godiva and World Citizen’. You vehemently denied it and dismissed it then, so I am not expecting you to take responsibility for any of your actions now. Ich, mentioned the other day how he and other’s have mentioned to you to tone it down with the name calling, yet it continues.. Wasn’t that considered constructive criticism? Did you heed his advice? Remember, you just said ‘you take criticism’!
My keeping an open mind and trying to give ALL people the benefit of the doubt, is my way of doing thing’s, if in your mindset that is considered ‘riding the fence’, then from the bottom of my heart, I do thank you for the compliment!!!!!!
I will never intentionally mistreat people!!! I will listen to people, I will try to show them compassion, I am not into dragging people down, that’s not me and I will make no apology for who I am! Furthermore, I care about people but I am not OBSESSED with other people lives, men or women!
At least I know that if today is my last day on this earth, I have made an attempt to reach out to someone who might be hurting, rather than being the one who is intentionally hurting someone! Hate me, call me all the names that you can muster, the more you do it the more determined I am going to love you anyway!!!! I am not your enemy!!
love
godiva
Comment by Salsassin on 7 March 2010:
Greetings from VA. Thought I would check in to see if Boots posted his grand rebuttal. No luck. LOL
As to the shoeshine comment. You guys are amusing. I made no shoeshine comment. I posted a video of a young looking punk getting his ass handed to him for talking smack. That he asked for a shoeshine or not, has nothing to do with me. In fact, that video has been posted ad nauseum through youtube.
Boots, in his usual foolishness acted like I said something about shoeshining, so I responded to that.
Now if you have a problem with that, I could care less. See you when I get back from Seattle.
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
@Queens,
My mistake, so I do apologize for saying that you called her the B word, I just read it again and I see that I misread! Please accept my apology for that one?
You see when I am knowingly wrong, I can apologize, again, I apologize!
love godiva
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
@Queenie U are just defenseless against the truth. You basically lied on me to make yourself look good and have not a single fact to back up your rantings but you know crazy people normally tell on themselves. The fact of the matter is, it’s backfired on you because I won’t lay down to your brow beating and tell you what’s REALLY going on.
You are like the old woman across the street who is always spying on her neighbors looking for something to gossip about. Like I said the other day, you say I’m sleeping with them, dating Sal, brought ligerie and next week I’ll be pregnant.
All this because I won’t tell you MY business. You know what they say about assumptions right? You continue to make an ass out of yourself because quite frankly, it’s assuming. Actually, you sound like a jealous lover.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 March 2010:
Dear Godiva
It’s cool, I never called her that B word. The slut bucket comment, I have mixed feelings about saying it. It was the appropriate word at the time. I have been called worse names. I currently still get called names. I am not concerning about the name calling so much. What bothers me is the bragging “of using people”.
People accuse me of a double standard when it comes to interracial dating among black men and white women. I don’t approve of it. However, if a black man said “he was dating 2 white women”. Nobody would say he was “exploring a relationship” or he has two “suitors”. They would take him to “task”. They would say “see them dirty black men with multiple women”. People can say they don’t “judge” people. We all judge people to some degree.
Sal just replied and felt his “shoe shine” comment was justified. This is how he “truly feels”. I respect that because I won’t apologize for some things I have said. I rarely apologize for anything. The video is a joke. The disturbed white man said to the black man “shine my shoes”. He got some lucky punches in. From my understanding, the white guy is a good story teller. I saw his other video, a black guy said he was a “good guy”. My opinion changed on the old white man. The black man lost that fight LOL. By the way, he wasn’t a thug. White men are so emasculated that if they ‘win a fight” against a white man it is like “the heavens opened up for them”.
Anyway, some black women got mad at my repeated use of “nappy head”. A down south girl use to say “nappy head” to me (as a joke). I thought it was funny. Imus says it “all hell broke loose”. I am not going to stop saying “nappy head” simply because Imus did it. Nappy head is funny to me. I don’t think about the racial implications of the word. If a white man called his “black wife” nappy head. I actually think I would fall on the floor laughing.
I look at the “intent” behind the word. Imus got criticized because he “deep down” does not think black women are attractive. He just got caught agreeing with his co-host who actually “said the word”. Godiva made the point she didn’t like my statements towards sellout black women. Queen Latifah just got here but “she supposedly” sees everything I write here.
I wrote about John Mayer saying “his dick is racist towards black women”. You know how many sellout black women defending this guy on my blog?? They either dismissed it or just “plain” tried to play it off like it was “no big deal”.
John Mayer goes on to blame the “media” for his comments about black women. That he just wants to play his “guitar”.
My comments are always justified in the context of sellout black women bashing black men. The same black women here that “claim” they don’t do that. They are silent co conspirators when “other sellout black women” bash black men. Just because the “right wing” sellout black women movement dismissed you because “you don’t drink the whole glass of Koolaid”. This does not mean you don’t agree with them.
You are not immune to the retaliation by black men like me. Yea, Ich and you “got into it” way back. I don’t dislike you Godiva. I just question you defending this “woman”. You claim you are friends with Ich. But the Bama girl said He is to “blame” for my comments. You are still “dancing around”
I do recall people here getting into a vigorous argument over religion. Ich, you and some other people. I was taken to ask about “siding” with an agnostic person that commented on the board. I do recall losing that argument because I came to his “defense”. I never whine or complained. Obviously, we have a “strong” Christian base in this room.
Some of you are unable to “separate friendships or associations” from the laws of religion.
You simply cannot expect people to “respect you” if you date two Christian white men and talk about deal breakers. On top of that, the men don’t know about each other. That is dishonest at best and it makes people question your integrity as a woman.
You want to get mad about it fine! When you “purposely” practice deception that is open for “judgement”. When you sin because of “weakness” that is a different story. Such as “having sex” out of wedlock. I really do think people give in to “temptation”.
But if you are dating 2 white men and openly bragging about deceiving them. This is something you “can control”. You are “aware” of what you are doing. You are not sexually “hard up”. You have a “plot” to get “over” on these men.
That is not Christian like and not even “respected” in the “world”. Non Christians will tell you “this is really some shady shit”.
Good day.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 March 2010:
Let me respond to Bama
Jealous of what you sleeping with 2 white men??????????????????????
Are you high or drunk?
Sorry, I am not one of your jealous “LOVERS”.(plural)
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
Was I stuttering when I said it? JEALOUS you sound like somone who is jealous because you can’t seem to get passed the fact that I have two men interested in me and you how many women you are dating? Um that would be ZERO.
You probably upset that to my knowledge none of the women on here would give you a second look if they passed you on the street.
You probably upset because it sounds like in a past relationship that a black female probably left you for a white man.
And no I wouldn’t date an atheist or agonist because it goes against my beliefs and the relationship probably wouldn’t work out.
You probably upset because I am a Christian and I am saved and the only person I answer to is Him. Mr. Queens are you saved? Because I can go to Christ and he won’t convict me of my sins nor judge me because He’s paid the price for me. Again, Mr. Queens while you are busy judging me and lying on me, have YOU accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 March 2010:
You said this
“Was I stuttering when I said it? JEALOUS you sound like somone who is jealous because you can’t seem to get passed the fact that I have two men interested in me and you how many women you are dating? Um that would be ZERO.”
LOL That is what it is now. You mean the 2 men that don’t know about each other?
I assure you I talk to “1″ woman. Sorry, I am not doing what you are doing. I keep it a 100 percent with her.
Actually, I am “saved” but not perfect of course. Jesus paid the price for you but he never said “he wasn’t going to punish you”. In theory, if we were forgiven for “everything we did wrong”. Their wouldn’t be a need for judgement day.
I accept Jesus but I have to accept the punishment that is reserved for me in the “future”. I have to accept the deception I have done in the past when it came to my dating indiscretions in my early 20s.
You said this………..
“You probably upset because I am a Christian and I am saved and the only person I answer to is Him. Mr. Queens are you saved? Because I can go to Christ and he won’t convict me of my sins nor judge me because He’s paid the price for me. Again, Mr. Queens while you are busy judging me and lying on me, have YOU accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?”
How do you know Christ will not convict you of your sins or judge you. Why would we have judgement day if we are not subjected to judgement? I am not a biblical “scholar” here. It is quite arrogant to think simply because you go to church it will resolve you of your sins. Hardcore Christians will tell you “you have to be committed ALL THE TIME”.
I am not doing that and you are not doing that. Therefore you can’t tell me if i accept Jesus or not. The question is will you stop doing what “Jesus” preached against. That is much harder to do.
Good day
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
@queens if you are truely saved like you say you are, then you’d know the answer to those questions. The point is really what you say about me or think doesn’t matter in the long run. All I really care about is what He thinks of me, not you. He knows me not you.
And if you calling me “slut bucket”, or slut makes you feel like a man, then sweetheart go right ahead because really and truely, it doesn’t matter.
Comment by Ichibod on 7 March 2010:
@ My ‘Gem’,
I was being sarcastic when I said “somehow nominated the official spokesperson”. The point I have tried to make, and what many comments here, other blogs, YouTube videos, magazines, news reports, and general ‘word of mouth’, is that black men and women are guilty of using each other as reasons for dating another race. However, it is vocalized a lot less (in my opinion) by black men than it is by black women and white men are the most common scape goat. When I first came to this site around this time last year, I began reading every topic and every comment posted from Jan ‘07 to the present. I had just gotten laid off and had nothing but time on my hands. I only recall 2 black men making such statments. I spoke out against Escalademan, and the other I had found about five months after his initial post. Too late. But I feel that everything I have posted, including my plea for any woman to point out where a black man has tried justify his prefrences by denouncing black women on this blog and I would be happy to take them to task, shows where I stand on that issue. I usually copy and paste my own comments but I can’t remember what all topics I said that in, most likely over 200 comments ago on any thread.
When Queens said…
“I have never met a man “with two women” that people “accepted”. That is all false bravado. ESPECIALLY if the women “ARE GOOD WOMEN”. No man “pats his friend” on the shoulder for “using two good women”,
I don’t know about “NO” man, but I couldn’t agree more with the rest of that statement. Hugh Heffner is a businessman, not the epitome of man. It’s how I feel when anyone resorts to that line of questioning. Such as rappers saying, “They say we can’t talk about guns, drugs, and murder in our music, but no one says anything about Terminator, Rambo, and Die hard. Even the Bible has violence.” Stupid stuff like that. My old roommate pretty much kicked me out because he got tired of me being the voice of reason regarding his loyalty to his girl, lack of self-esteem, as well as his belief that becoming rich and famous was the end to all suffering. Fine, I needed to leave anyway. He is a tortured soul and was really having an adverse effect on my spiritual growth, hence my ‘eruptions’ within the last few months. I’m getting back on track now. Questions like this coming from those who know who the “Prince of this world” and “author of confusion” is, astound me. If it’s any consulation to anyone, the men with the “sluts” and the women with the “players” are all lame.
I don’t use the term “sellout black women”, but I have that same understanding of the term as well, and used to be the explaination I had given in defense of Queens long ago. Yes, there are “sellout black men” everywhere, including on this site, but not on these blogs. Even then, the men were members of the site, not currently in relationships, and mentioned attractions and previous relationships with other races of women. Any other black man who has said derrogatory things about black women are not memebers and are against interracial dating as a whole. Many black women flock to topics mentioning white men, even toward white men, proclaiming their elation of being with a white man rather than merely being at peace with a man that is white, and choosing to share their interracial dating/marriage experiences with others. I only recall one black woman mention how a past Korean lover rocked her world. Also, I’ve never been for urging someone to explore options and I haven’t heard any other black men here doing so either. Either the attractions and the willingness to accept them are there, or they just aren’t.
I think some believe that when a black person comes under attack, another black person should just come to their defense… without question. A black drug dealer is arrested, the sentiments seem to be, “It don’t matter what he did, police always trying to lock a brotha up and hold black people down.” This is not sound reasoning.
Just as you and MzBrownSugar can attest, I will speak out when I feel a response from me is warranted. Not “from me” meaning that I’m special or something, but granted all variables are present that would move me to respond.
1) Time of day. I can see a comment at work on my phone. I don’t type and drive. Well, I seldomly text and drive, but a whole blog post is an accident waiting to happen.
2) Priorities. I, like most others, should try to have a life away the internet.
3) Mood. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like.
4) Silent consent. I’ve have said this before. Yes, I admit it. I can explain my non-involvement at any time, but should I really have to? Other times, a rebuttal or insult is too hilarious. Some people ask for it, so they’re really seeking a ‘bail out’ in the name of defense.
5) I hate redundancy. Someone responds to a comment the same way I would have. I can’t help it if that person happens to be a black woman, or even a hispanic male. Why post after that unless I have something absolutely essential to add to their point.
6) I’ve already gone through the whole historical, socio-geopolitical, psychological, as well as the spiritual rebuttals in the past. The research required to fully put someone in check, especially when citing sources, is mentally exhausting, time consuming, and usually conflicts with points 1), 2), and 3).
7) It’s obvious that some have been given over to a depraved or reprobate mind. Those on the defensive and the offensive.
Oh, yes. I remember the day I said those things about you, Sis. So, my question to anyone who expects me to know how it feels to be on the receiving end derrogatory remarks is, “Do you know how it should feel to be on the delivering end?” If you recall what I told you back then, I did not feel good… nor safe. I thank thank God for maturity, wisdom, and conviction; not to mention His grace and mercy. You know where we stand with each other. Talk to you soon!
~Ichibod~
Comment by Ichibod on 7 March 2010:
@ Queens
“False Bravado”! That’s an excellent way to put it. However, that sign off to Godvia was pretty low. Saying you lost respect for someone is a meaningful cliche, but to literally disrecting her like that? Come on, dude. Lighten up. She says what needs to be said. So what if she does specifically name names.
I had started typing my post to Godiva right after her last one to you, then 6 post went by while I was proofreading it. That’s true what you said reagarding salvation and conviction. There’s a lot more to it (by the way, Jesus didn’t judge), but you are fairly accurate, Sir. Actually, that what’s the Holy Spirit is for. Maybe Bama’s Catholic? I believe I made my point earlier as to why I remain silent on certain issues.
Later, Bro!
Comment by godiva61 on 7 March 2010:
@Ichibod,
Thanks for explaining and opening my eyes a little wider, I know I can depend on you to set me straight when I need it, with the dignity, grace and honesty that you possess so well.
Please, always care about me enough to be honest with me!
With much love, respect, and admiration,
Godiva
Comment by Ichibod on 7 March 2010:
So what if she does NOT specifically name names.
Comment by Ichibod on 7 March 2010:
@Godiva
Sure thing!
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 7 March 2010:
I haven’t read many sistas on here who said I date a white men because of….fill in the blank. I haven’t seen them disrespect any brotha on here. Maybe I’m missing something.
I can care less if a black man decides to date a white woman or any other woman of color because quite frankly I’m attracted to white men and secondly because it’s none of my business.
What I don’t like is ANYONE putting down the other to justify them dating outside of their race or putting down the other because they don’t like the other’s choices.
As for me, I like white men I think mainly because my environment I grew up around. I grew up in mostly white and mix neighborhoods and I’m thankful for my diverse background. But as I got older, there were qualities that make me love white men even more. It’s nothing a brotha said or did to me, it’s my personal preference. Most people can accept that, some don’t.
That’s probably why I can understand Tiger Woods. He is probably into white women because that’s what he grew up around and that’s who found him attractive. That’s his preference.
As a black woman, yes I encourage my friends who have dated black men to give themselves other options. Most of them have dated white men and have no problem doing so, but I don’t discourage them from finding a black man either.
I think for me, it’s respecting each other’s choices rather then putting them down or judging them. Who has a right to judge another person especially if you don’t know them.
Comment by bigeyes31 on 7 March 2010:
I still stand by what I ACTUALLY said which is that no one has the power to make anyone “blow up” and so far have succeeded. LOL. I win.
Comment by Ariel on 8 March 2010:
this is so great (:
im a youngin & in my school there is one black girl dating a white guy. ONE but there are more then 15 black guys dating white girls. i like every race as long as they treat me well but what i have to say is that white guys do treat black women very beautifully!
Comment by tatted2death on 8 March 2010:
See, Godiva….the “comments” won’t cease…I couild leave this blog alone for a month and they STILL wouldn’t cease. And I like I said before….if this sort of nonsense were happening to YOU…..YOU just might see it differently. Nevertheless I respect you greatly and infinitely appreciate your spirit….definitely understand your need to “try” here (but if you really have been reading all along you KNOW that I did as well not too long ago….oh well).
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by bigeyes31 on 8 March 2010:
godiva
The one thing I do agree with is that there will still be back and forth on this blog. It will be the same game just different players Ms.godiva. If I stop making comments which I am slowly making progress toward because I do agree with you.The the Spirit that is in you as well as in me has pointed out what is right through your words. I am slow sometimes to obey.You see though that another debate will just take the place of this one. I have made and proven my points in the past and feel satisfied and glad about it so I will not continue with this.
Thank you for your correction Ms. godiva but I ask that you be patient with me as I attempt to do the right thing. Thank you woman of God.
Peace from a sometimes rebelious child of God
Comment by godiva61 on 8 March 2010:
@tatted2death,
It has happened to me once before, so I’m not as naive or immune to it as you might think..
I just made it up in my mind to let those who needed to have the last word, have the last word.
No person words, are that powerful to make say or do something that I know is not right.
Again, I was moved to TRY, so I did, and as far as I’m concerned, it is finished!!!!
Have a nice Monday!
love
godiva
Comment by godiva61 on 8 March 2010:
@bigeyes31,
You do not have to apologize for the ’slowness’, okay? I was very, very, slow to a few things in my life, one which was, I had TOO, much pride!
The important thing is, that we continue to work at whatever we need to work on, so we can move on to the next level.. The worse thing, in my opinion, would to be so stubborn, arrogant, and fearful, not to own up to the truth about ourselves.
Conviction, correction, leads us closer to HIM!
I believe in you kid, nothing last’s forever, the good, or the bad!!
Did you watch the Oscars? I tried very hard, but it was boring me to death! I did see Monique when she won, loved her dress, hair, and her speech. I would like to know what was going on in Samuel L. Jackson’s mind, when he made that facial expression, after she spoke?? Did you ever see the Hurt Locker??
Have a good Monday
love
godiva
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 8 March 2010:
@Godiva I think someone said this to you already but blessted are the peacemakers…
I think Oprah or someone said no one has the power to make you feel bad unless you give it to them.
The Oscars bored me to death. Glad Sandra Bullock won and loved her speech. I know I should be happy Monique won for Precious but most of the people who saw that movie that were black, hated it. I think they put it on the same level as Monsters Ball. As being black folks have to degrade themselves in order to win an Oscar.
What’s a shame too was I think none of them thank God either.
Comment by godiva61 on 8 March 2010:
@Bamababe2k9,
To be totally honest, I did not see Precious, or any of these movies.. I love going to the movies, but NOT on the weekends. So everytime I had a day off during the week, and made plans to go to the movies, something came up.. Today I’m off, but it’s way too nice to be indoors, and I have been out since 0500 this morning.
For me I hated Monsters Ball, to me that was a very degrading role!! I can’t say too much about Precious, because I haven’t seen it, but I have seen my share of Precious, in real life and yes it’s ugly but it is a reality in our country, and not just in our culture, you would be amazed at what some people inflict on their children! I’m thinking of a little boy named Zachary as I write this.. I guess it’s true that sometimes art imitates life, and life imitates, art.
I agree they should have thanked the ONE, who gives you breath, a beating heart ,wealth and so on and so on!!!! Maybe they forgot, maybe they didn’t think that HE is worthy of being thanked, who knows??
I’m going to get my car washed, and shined!
Have a nice Monday!
love
godiva
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 8 March 2010:
@Godiva I didn’t see Monster’s Ball nor Precious for those reasons; I hate seeing the same stories over and over again. And SO many people hated these movies. Have a good one chick!
Comment by bigeyes31 on 8 March 2010:
@Ms.godiva
Thank you so much for believing that I can do and be better and understanding that I am a work in progress that becoming Christ-like is a process.
@Bama and Ms. Godiva
I didn’t tune in until about the time the Mo’Nique’s category was being announced. I liked the color of her dress and she looked nice but it was the same EXACT look she had for the Golden Globe win. I just thought she should have done something different but the color was fabulous.
HA HA I saw that look that Samuel L. did too!! I wondered that maybe he didn’t like her or something? I don’t know. George Clooney was doing alot of mean mugging the camera too. Anyway I noticed that no one thanked God either,not even Mo’nique,sad,sad. I was happy Sandra Bullock won;I was correct in my prediction. I should have bet money,LOL. No just kidding. I thought her dress was beautiful. Demi Moore had on a stunning dress and there was a reddish burgandy dress that one of Clooney co-stars had on when she was giving nice words about working with him. It was outrageously beautiful and one lady had on a grey dress that had ruffles on the bottom and had a swirl-like design on the bodice. I don’t know who she was but I loved her dress. I wanted Jeff Bridges to win.
I haven’t seen any of the movies except Precious so I can’t scoff at The Hurt Locker winning best picture so I have a lot movie watching to catch up on,LOL. The only thing I can say about Mo Nique’s win was that I think she deserved the Oscar simply and I emphasize simply because of her ABILITY to transform from this hysterically funny lady to this believable monster who at the end, still finds away to make you feel for HER as WELL as Precious!I think as far as being able to do that to her audience is why I think she won.Now, Monsters’ Ball offered no redeeming qualities for Halle’s character so I agree with you on that,lol. Garbage and babbage,lol.
Well, Ms. G. I need to be out there doing the same with my car, maybe tomorrow,LOL. Have a nice one!
Ms Bamababe you have a nice Monday and rest of the week!
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 8 March 2010:
@BE I heard she was good in it and she said she wore her dress and hair that way in tribute to Hattie McDaniel of course the first African-American to win an Oscar which I thought was cool. She said though last night at her post Oscar speech that when the director said cut, she was able to leave that character on the sound stage.
Sounds like it was powerful, I just can’t bring myself to see it because of the content is just too sad and depressing and from what I heard, not much of a happy ending but I guess that’s life.
Most of the dresses were beautiful Demi was pretty, The black chick from Star Trek and Guess Who who were the lavender dress was so pretty but so was Meryl Streep. I thought that off-white she wore last night made her look elegant.
I didn’t see Halle. Most of the time (if not ALL the time) she always wears a knock-out dress. Sandra Bullock and Ms. Diaz were knock-outs too. If anyone hasn’t seen the Blind Side, I suggest you rent it. Very good movie.
Comment by Scoff/Sarah on 8 March 2010:
Good afternoon to all
Oh what a blog, Scoff & I read and disscuss, several of the arguments or should we say views or opinions that different people post.
Now to the point, what makes an inter-racial relationship work, or not work. First the physical attraction, then from ther it’s any ones guess. In our day way way back in the mid 60’s when when we were young, to be honest it was more of a curious thing. When I say curious, as I had mentioned earlier in our social system then I had never, and mean never said as much as two words to a white boy my age. True looking back, I say to myself how in the world did that happen, well it was just the way it was. As Scoff & I ventured into some what of a very secert relationship, it was a learning expierence. Yes, we did become close, and proclaimed our love as many youths do. Fast forward to now were we in love or lust, maybe even the thought of doing something taboo, added to the whole affair, hard to say now.
Our relatinship now is real, we talk, enjoy just being around each other, love to do things togeather, spend hours talking about were we grew up and the people we knew. Common ground, a mutual bond, missing that person. Thinking about that person, when you have an free minute, oh I or we could go on and on. The major point is you have to start with a common anchor point, ours is we both came from the same area, had the basic same values, of course we had a history of a sort, at that point in time when we met again, both of us were lonely, and in need of a loving person. So now you see common anchor, and need, then of course timing.
Stange now we don’t really think of each other as Black or White, just at our age well I hate to say boyfriend/girlfriend as it doesn’t really fit a 60 plus year old couple. (well what ever) Special friends,????
When a reltionship between a couple gets to the point that the White/Black issue is not even thought of, then you know that your with the right person.
Just one of my crazy thoughts,
A special hug to Ms. Godiva
God Bless All \\
Sarah
Comment by bigeyes31 on 8 March 2010:
@Bama Yes Yes I plan to see The Blind Side,lol. I will just say this about the movie Precious. I think people who saw the movie were expecting a Pretty Woman ending,lol. I think her ending was showing her first step towards changing her life and it wasn’t dramatic she just did it, just like if you or I were making some changes. We just do it.
Oh yes, Ms Meryl Streep, Diva,LOL. Oh if you can take a look at Vera Farminga’s dress;that’s reddish burgandy dress I was talking about and thank you for telling me about Mo’Nique’s choice and why. I think that’s cool too. Zoe Saldana is the one from Star Trek remake, which I loved by the way,lol. Yes, her dress was gorgeous love tye-dye effect at the bottom and the jeweled bodice. Elizabeth Banks is the one who had the grey dress with swirl effect on the bodice I was trying to describe,it was beautiful. I will try and see all these Oscar movies and I’m starting with The Blind Side but promise that you wil just TRY and get through Precious,lol. Oh I loved how the real life “Blind Side” mother was given recognition from Ms. Sandra Bullock. I thought that was quite graceful.
Peace
Comment by Ichibod on 9 March 2010:
I’m just glad my dude Christoph Waltz won best supporting actor for Inglorious Basterds. That was a performance with Academy Award written all over it. His character was such a douche, but it was so believable. Also, flip-flopping 4 different languages fluently, 3 of which were done in the very first scene, was pretty awesome.
Comment by Other Brother on 10 March 2010:
Wow I have been gone a while, but my two Bitter Racist Brothers Queens and ICH are still blowing up the pages with their lies and distortions. I had to take a break because I was changing jobs and going to school and getting things in order for my move to ST. Louis. Well actually Ill about 30 minutes outside of ST. Louis. It took awhile to read all the available posts. But it seems to be the same old stuff. Queens being plummeted by the true facts and black women being called sell outs because they love someone other than black men. This is so crazy however you can not help the helpless understand that their facts are actually false and that although they think they are special they put their pants on the same way the rest of do, one leg at a time. Except for queens he hops into his both legs at once so he is special. He is actually correct though about 10% of time. The problem is he thinks he right the other 90% of the time. I can deal with him though, because we know (That is he and I) he doesn’t really believe all that crap he puts out. He is too smart for that, he just says things because he wants to spark discussion. Now Ich that is another storey. The scary thing is he really really believes the crap he puts out. That is what is really scarry here. Yes Ich I am still Married to the same black woman and I can holler at any woman I want because dinner is only served at home and I eat dinner every night. So my wife has no insecurities about who I holler at. I can holler pretty good too if I want, so here goes a holler, to all you lovely black women wheather you love a brother, a white man, a hispanic man, an italian man, ect… you go! do not let bitter brothers hold you back do not let their own securities phase you, your not a sell out, you love who you love for your own reason whatever that may be and although you may be judged by a few bitter brothers most respect you regarless. Most real black men are not threatened by your loving a white man. As i have always stated only white men can truely answer the question this blog poses. Every other man is just blowing smoke because they really do not know.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 March 2010:
Dear Other Brother
Try 90 percent, my ego likes to think I am right about most things. My track record speaks for itself concerning topics.
I didn’t understand your paragraph. You “holler” at any woman you want. You go onto say you are married. You got some balls to attack me and ICH. I don’t recall doing that to my woman. At least, I don’t brag about it.
You said this
“So my wife has no insecurities about who I holler at. I can holler pretty good too if I want, so here goes a holler, to all you lovely black women wheather you love a brother, a white man, a hispanic man, an italian man, ect… you go! do not let bitter brothers hold you back do not let their own securities phase you, your not a sell out, you love who you love for your own reason whatever that may be and although you may be judged by a few bitter brothers most respect you regarless.”
You don’t speak for a majority of black men. Nobody is “holding” sellout black women back. You show me where “bitter’ brothers are holding them back.
How about address “your fellow white brothers” on why they are reluctant to date black women? All you talked about is how you flirt other women while you have a black wife. Oh yea, and how “wrong” I am on everything.
I will pretend that you just don’t know any better. Stay under your “black wife” skirt. She better not catching talking that shit on here about “hollering” at other women. She will emasculate you “worse” than you are now.
You have a good day.
For everyone else, I am working on that “IF TOMORROW COMES FOR SELLOUT BW” THE PRECIOUS STORY CONTINUED.
I talking about everything. Howard Stern mad at Oprah for giving “Precious” false hope of being a “movie star in the future”.
48 percent of black women with herpes.
I am out.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 11 March 2010:
Gabby already has another job, she’ll be starring in a Showtime series and that was in the paper Monday, so obviously she will be working again. Howard Stern maybe rich but it’s interesting that he really has never made it to the big time. Hell even Wendy Williams has her own talk show in syndication Stern is still on Sirius Radio with a smaller audience.
And I heard 1 out 6 Americans have some form of herpes. Black women have the larger number of new AIDS cases. So if the majority of black women stay with black men and we are the largest number of new AIDS cases, what does that say about black men?
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 March 2010:
HMM
You got a point Bama. I don’t think the HIV rates in black men are the same like black women. Although, black men do have higher rates in proportion to their population than “other races of men”. Black women are more “vulnerable” to getting the disease. Latin men are slowly creeping up in that rate and Hispanic women are not that far behind black women when it comes to HIV and Herpes.
I agree 1 out of 6 Americans do have some type of Herpes. However 1 out of 2 black women with herpes is simple “shockingly” high.
Also, a majority of these girls are young. The rate is high in young girls. Obviously, they don’t get rid of the disease so they carry it into “adult hood”.
It says nothing about black men. It says it is not “just black men” giving black women diseases. UNLESS, black women are solely sleeping with black men. I just don’t think that is the case.
Howard Stern caters to degenerates and an audience that like those type of jokes. He still has a point though. Robin agreed with him concerning Oprah giving this girl ‘false hope”. Precious, “down the road”, will she ever do a movie again? I highly doubt it. Black actresses with the “looks” are not even getting roles that much. It is not just Precious. It is extremely tough for African Americans to get into movies in general.
I heard she got a Showtime “gig”. Perhaps, people put pressure on Hollywood to ‘cast her”. It is not a substantial role. Showtime needs more subscribers. It might be a marriage of convenience.
Gabby played a role that was “tailored” for her. Monique won because she “can do it all”. She actually proved to be a “serious actor”.
I just don’t think she will be in the Whoopi Goldberg Lane or Monique Lane. They are actually talented in most things. Whoopi was a stand up comedian and so was “Monique”.
Maybe Television will work for Precious. She might do well in television.
Comment by Bamababe2k9 on 11 March 2010:
Actually I heard this morning that Gabby is in two films coming up as well. She can find work, but like someone said this morning maybe it forces some Hollywood types to create roles for her because of her talent.
I found this article on black men and herpes:
A lot of men are going to hate me for admitting this, but women can’t rely on us to be up-front when it comes to disclosing our sexually transmitted infections. I’m living proof. Ten years ago, after having unprotected sex, I realized the stinging sensation in my pants wasn’t like the yeast infections or trichomoniasis I’d had before. I was diagnosed with herpes. And I only told two women about it out of the 20 I went on to sleep with.
When I got my results, I became depressed. I was used to pursuing attractive, ambitious women, and I thought women like that wouldn’t want a man with herpes. I was so angry at whoever had infected me–and I wasn’t even sure who she was. I never thought of myself as a victim though. By the irresponsible way I was living, I practically volunteered for this.
From the time I was diagnosed in 1998, I only used condoms half of the time. With every new woman, we would start out with protection. But after a few months of safe sex, we’d just take our chances. Sometimes a woman would ask me not to wear a condom, and I obliged her request. No one ever asked me to get tested for herpes, so they never knew what a huge risk they were taking by having unprotected sex with me. I never admitted that I had it to women I was in relationships with. I thought about confessing, but I never had the courage. I feared being rejected by someone I cared about.
I did outlandish things to hide the truth about my disease, like keeping Valtrex, my herpes medication, in a different prescription bottle so no one would discover it. Sometimes my girlfriend would want sex when I was having an outbreak. I couldn’t arouse any suspicion by saying no, so I would have sex with my boxers on to conceal where the blisters were located. If she asked why, I’d say, “Oh, it’s just a fantasy I have.” Afterward I would feel like a scumbag for putting my fear before her health.
Of those 20 women, only one told me I gave her herpes: the mother of my children. Our relationship was over by the time I was infected, but occasionally we hooked up. At that time, she was the only woman I confessed to that I carried the virus, and I made sure she knew it was possible to catch it even when I didn’t have an outbreak. She doesn’t like to use condoms and took a risk. When she informed me in 2007 that she had tested positive for herpes, my life changed. It took knowing I had infected someone I really cared about to realize I was living a messed-up life.
Shortly thereafter I joined a herpes support network, where I shared my experience with hundreds of people who had recently been diagnosed. But I’m still not comfortable telling most women that I’m infected. (When I told the other woman who knows my status, she was surprisingly okay with it, which made me wonder: What do you have?) I advise guys to not make the mistakes I’ve made. Be honest with women about STIs, even though it’s not easy.
The advice I give to women is different. I want them to know that some men just won’t tell you they have a disease. And some men don’t even know they have an STI because they don’t have symptoms or haven’t been tested. Since herpes can be spread through skin-to-skin contact even when a condom is used, every woman should ask her man to get a herpes test before they become intimate. If you can’t be there when your man is tested, insist that he show you his recent results from a medical facility on letterhead. The conversation might be awkward, but it’s necessary to protect yourself from a guy like me.
Read more: http://www.essence.com/relationships/sexual_health/gambling_herpes.php#ixzz1XpJSupue