Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?
It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is why some white guys are opening themselves to black women? Let’s concentrate on that.
Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person… be it in appearance or personality.
However, one thing that a white male friend of mine said… and I let him get away with bundling it all up is: “We love a black woman’s confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity…â€? Since this info was coming from a man, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.
So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?” Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating. You would think they have never done it. But those uptight individuals are the ones that spread these stereotypes. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?
Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame ol’ lines, then you sure as hell haven’t dated a black woman.
Bottom line, you don’t have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too.
Tags: online dating, black woman white man, black-white relationships
Popularity: 100% [?]
Comment by karen on 1 September 2007:
The piece could have a little more substance and more testimony to it.
Personally i love white men, i have, since the age of 17 and am in my late thirties. Now i seem to be attracted to white men with euro accents. For a girl that was born and raised on the isle of Jamaica, it seems unreal. Growing up i would only see them on tv shows. But “Coming to America” changed all that.
Last , but not least, when wht men tells me that oh i love blk women, then i would say, well tell me what u love about us, they would usually say the cliches, such as, your skin, your figure blah, blah, i was tired of hearing all that nonsense, now i challenge them, and ask them to tell me something with substance and meaning. I didnt want to hear the everyday shallow description. Because we are more than skin color and booty size.
Comment by xxnjxy on 1 September 2007:
I have to agree on the responses , and please karen don’t meet my spelling with scrutiny ( I am from th same “aisle ” as you may–Jamaica.
But for the most part white gents I have met are ususally looking for a black female based on a sexual thing–junglle fever maybe!
But in truth it works both ways , for black man -white female couples, sexual attraction among other things.
I am of the thinkinig if a white gent seriously dates a black female she would have to be well educated/polished upbringing or financially stable (and I do mean stable) and in his eyes be the flashy trophy type to take around for the world to see for bragging rights, but which perosn wouldn’t want that ?
Truth is every guy out there black or white has their own reason for matching up with someone outside their kind, what led them to it, i suggest we ask our men in question individually !
I might send my messages quite shallow but I’m here to comment honestly not to upset anyone, enjoy
Comment by karen on 1 September 2007:
xxnjxy dont worry anyone from yaad i awright with me, do worries man.
Comment by Salome on 3 September 2007:
I agree with the posts above. Poor thing. I’m a business writer and all the grammar and structural issues jumped out at once. Not his/her lucky day, huh?
I definately commend the writer for making the effort to write and bring up this topic. That’s more than what most people will do.
I’ve often dated outside of my race. I dated more when I got older for some reason or another. The men I’ve dated have run the gamut. Some have dated a few black woman while others date black women exclusively. I used to ask why they date black women and I received the usual responses too. Then I realized that I couldn’t answer this question myself. So I’ve stopped asking. Basically, people date the person that they find interesting and attractive at the time.
Comment by Ed on 4 September 2007:
I feel Slome has the right out look. I have dated out of my race more as I have gotten older also. We all have our reasons and maybe they are all similiar. I find women of color interesting and yes very attractive. I found that for the most part they are very aware of what is going on in the world which makes for good coversation. They are very loyal and devoted to their man. Dating is more difficult as we get older. Whom we choose to date or what color they are is not revelent to what and who will make us happy.
Comment by DENNIS on 10 September 2007:
The main reason I date black women is because I am attracted to dark skin women. I love tan to dark skin women. I am also attracted to Asian women. So attractive! Most white women I know are so white they look sickly.
Comment by Ed 2 on 13 September 2007:
Obviously, there is a physical attraction…that’s true of any dating circumstance. However, there is a rainbow pallette of differences of black women, as there is with all races. Light, dark, tall, petite, the list is, while not infinite, extensive. But obviously (with the exception of those looking strictly for sex), any lasting relationship needs more to build on then just appearance. Again, that’s a uniquely individual set of characteristics that can’t be nailed down to a simple black/white distinction. As to what creates attraction, I’d have to say that probably has as many variables. Interracial attraction may even have the cultural taboo as part of it. And Madison Avenue, who tells us what is sexy, and what to wear, drive, drink, etc., to be that.
Personally, I think it came from the fact that my first girlfriend (not first sexual partner) was black. She was beautiful but more importantly, I think, she was smart, personable, athletic (high on the list in grade school), funny and had a poetic soul. And she was built like a “brick house”…I’m kidding.
Wherever it came from, for me it is a preference, not an absolute. But if I’m going to have someone to spend the rest of my life with shouldn’t it be someone I have a preference for..? (pardon my grammar).
Comment by manowine on 14 September 2007:
I’ve had several woman ask me why I date women of color… and I ask them right back why do you want to date a white man? That stalemate usually forces us to talk about our similarities rather than our differences. There is no good reason to exclude the woman of color or the white guy from your dating patterns. If you exclude them then you are missing a significant section of the population. Not to mention the high number of highly educated professional women represented here.
Comment by rich2112 on 15 September 2007:
For myself, the reason I’ve dated outside of my race is attraction. But that’s all so why I’ve dated white women. It’s about attraction and who knows why any one finds someone attractive? I’ve been attracted to women purely by looks and some just by attitude or a combo of both. So who knows? Or better yet, Why Not?
Comment by littlered48 on 17 September 2007:
For me, the reason I’m attracted to white men, I do not really know! I simply find the sexy.
Comment by GRWNNSXY1 on 17 September 2007:
MY BOYFRIEND OF THE LAST TWO YEARS IS WHITE. COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO DATED BLACK MEN ONLY, NOT BECAUSE IT WAS MY CHOICE, BUT BECAUSE WHITE GUYS NEVER TRIED TO TALK TO ME, SO I IGNORED THEM. MY LOVE IS 6′1″,BLONDE, WITH CRYSTAL BLUES, GETS BURNED BEFORE HE GETS TANNED AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT HE WAS INTERESTED IN ME. IN FACT, THE FIRST THREE MONTHS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP I SPENT ASKING,”WHY’D YOU FINALLY STEP TO ME?” AND HIS ANSWER SUMS UP EVERYONES ANSWERS. HE SAID,”BECAUSE YOU GET MY JOKES…” IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COLOR, JUST LIKE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AGE, OR EYE COLOR, OR RELIGION. YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH WHOMEVER YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH. LOVE FREELY AND WITHOUT PREDJUDICE!!
Comment by tommy on 26 September 2007:
Im am italian but was born in brooklyn NY. I have traveled the united states and observed that black women are very open minded and independent. That is what attracts me to them They are naturally beautiful, street smart, culturally educated by their upbrings of their traditional family values. THat is what attracts me to them. Especially island black women and hispanic women have traditional culture values installed from their families over the centuries which makes a perfect wife.
I cherish black women and would do anything for them no matter what if they show me the love and respect. Since i am italian i would cook them any home traditional Italian meal with italian desserts.
Comment by Salome on 26 September 2007:
Dang Tommy. You’re going to have all kinds of women chasing you down (me included) if you keep that up. Italian man making Italian food? Count me in!
Comment by Dee on 28 September 2007:
Helloooooooo Tommy!!!!!
Comment by jayzgurl on 29 September 2007:
Tommy, cooking aside, I’m kind of curious as to the “traditional family values” that meet your requirements for a wife that we latinas and island women display. You’re not referring to the stereotypical barefoot and pregnant type of women, right??? If so, we do have so much more to offer any man.
Comment by Jeanette on 29 September 2007:
Hi Tommy et all
I love italian food.And i am almost putting myself in the race right after Salome, but I met someone on this site and he is just wonderful. though American he makes mean italian food. You should meet and exchange ideas :). I dated an italian once and boy was he a great cook.
I have been dting white guys since i was 20. in between i did try to go back to my own race but i guess my inner mind was made up and soon enough i was searching again for a white man who i would love and be there for. Nothing against the brothers but i do find the white man more sensible to a woman’s needs emotionally. (My opinion).
And hey, grammer or english we are not all english mothertongue and mistakes are excused mine included.
Comment by Teri on 30 September 2007:
I don’t know but I need one of them!
Comment by Michael on 30 September 2007:
I have wondered about this exact issue about myself many times. I can say that in general, I just love women, but I find my attention being grabbed by black women all of the time. I have come to the realization that the initial attraction is simply a preference. Just as some people that have preferences for a certain hair colour, or height, or or or… There are many other body characteristics that attract my eye as well, and speaking solely from the initial attraction level, those other items need to be there as well. Simply having black skin is not going to mean that I am attracted to them.
Once you do get past the mere attraction level, for me, it all comes back to compatibility. It does not mater the race, age, look of the lady, if there are not all of the other items that make for a match, colour alone will not carry it.
P.S. I might not know Italian cooking, but I love to cook too….
Comment by Jeanette on 30 September 2007:
Hey Michael,
Since you love to cook, there are queues forming you know.
Have a nice week y’all
Jeanette
Comment by phatkitty on 1 October 2007:
Tommy, you are funny, your are pimping yourself on the net (lol). I am an islander and am not sure what u mean by family and cultural values. LIke jayzgurl, i hope u didnt mean “barefoot and prego”. I know we as islanders are very proud and pushes education at all cause. So i hope that is what u meant. I wont harp on this any longer, just needed a clearer explanation.
Whatever reason u love someone, just keep on loving, be it blk or other, because after all the BS, that is all some of us have at the end of the day.
irie man, one luv
Comment by Marketing Bill on 13 November 2007:
I agree with most of the prior messages. At least for this guy XXNJXY is really off base. I’ve romanced black women since 1964 when I was a poor Sailor to now that I am doing very well financially. Trophy girls are for boys with the developement of a piss ant. When I was 17 and poor I was hooking up with girls like me. Nice, cute black girls that were fun to be with, none were scalps on my belt. My daughter’s mother was a beautiful deveoping black girl when we hooked up. I was 15 years older and afraid of the differences in our ages and level of developement.
Now that I am 62 and ooing OK of course I want a smart successfull woman who happens to float my boat physically. I have paid my dues. There are good looking women who have paid theirs.
Comment by dark1ande on 13 November 2007:
Too bad I hate desserts .
Comment by Gary on 15 November 2007:
I have always found it hard to put into words what black women do to me. I immediately get a feeling of attraction inside. After talking with a black woman I can always tell that she is special and does not mind being treated like a lady. I know someday when I find my black wife I will treat her that way and I guarantee that she will treat me right too. Are you out there?????????
Comment by Foxfuzzy on 20 November 2007:
I’ve always found it easier to go out with white men. Have not a specific idea why, but if it ain’t broke, why try to fix it? The white guys I’ve dated have always treated me like a lady and any woman can appreciate a man who makes her feel good. And guys, just so as you know, I do love getting cooked for!!
Comment by Tstar on 21 November 2007:
I have a family with a white man. I used to date exclusively black. I find the difference is that in my experience, there seems to be a larger variety in personalities among white men than black men. The many black men I dated only considered going to a club or to a small time restaurant a good time. Only one took me around his family, and most of all, they’d go out of town to different states and never let me know until they get back. Also, my ex-stepfather admitted to my mother once that he didn’t get with a white woman because he didn’t make enough money. This scenario reminded me of the majority of black male athletes who cross over or marry extremely light-skinned black women.
Comment by cassie212 on 21 November 2007:
Hey! all you guys here make yourself seem like Gods… I wish i found someone for meeeeee!
Comment by Virgo on 22 November 2007:
I believe at times some white men wonder/fantasize about black women & the ’stereotypes’ that are associated w/us. But, bottom line….being a proud/beautiful sista…I believe that we come in so many different shapes, sizes & tones that it’s like a kid in a candy store! Who wouldn’t love that!?
Comment by CaribPrinces on 23 November 2007:
Why white men love black women? I think the answer is very simple. People love the best things. And white men are finally starting to realise (after having a little taste of course). that black women are actually better than white women in many aspects. We have beautiful skin, athletic shaped bodies all the things that white women do not have. We age better as well. Just like the Asians even in our 40’s and 50’s we still have no wrinkles! For centuries the white woman has been put on a pedastle higher than that of the black woman, even higher than the Asian woman or any other color or culture for that reason. NOW white men are travelling and working alongside these women and going to far away places like Asia and Africa and India and are seeing that these women are even more beautiful, even more intelligent and even more sensual than white women. So of course the white men who are the brave ones are making the change while some other are still in denial on the true beauty inside and out of these other women. These are the ones who remain racist, closed and/or scared to go outside their race.
So, to answer the question, the world is changing and becoming more global and the media etc is not only showing the white women as the queen of all in intelligence and beauty BUT now other women are getting their share as well so naturally the world is now seeing the true beauty of these black women and naturally want a piece of the pie! It’s about time..they tried to say we were not beautiful or intelligent but now we are among the top. Here’s to all the beautiful black as well as Asian women who for so long were not consedered beautiful or intelligent and are now giving the white women a run for their money AND ALSO taking their men!! ps- we just want the successful white men!! We’ve come too far to go back now!
Comment by LaShada on 23 November 2007:
I’ve always found myself attracted to white men since I was like 5yrs. I just knew I would grow to marry Crocket and not Tubbs(LOL) . Even as a teen I dated white guys but later stopped because of all the rage it always caused.I grew up in mostly black areas so it wasn’t accepted. Thus, I found myself dating black men that I didn’t find all that attractive. For me it has always been a preference it is what I want and like. I have a son with a blackman and I teach my son to like/date whoever want!
Comment by jayzgurl on 25 November 2007:
I talked to my boyfriend who is Irish-American (6′2″,blonde, blue-eyed, SWAT officer) and he told me that (and I quote) “…white women all manage to look the same. Oh, Sure they may have different hair colors, but that’s about it. Black women have golden skin (that’s not artificial) or pale skin or mahoghany skin, they can be stick thin or voluptuous. They’re gorgeous to look at and the way they move is rhythmic and sensual…” he went on to say,”everything about them says ‘confidence’. They love hard and long (purely not sexual). When they love you…they love you (stand by your man!)…”
Need I say more?! White girls…take notes!!
Comment by bill on 26 November 2007:
I see many of you are very uneducated! There is only one race, its called the Human race. When you speak of different races of People it shows your lack of scientific education. You are 50 years behind the times if you don’t know that all the humans on the earth came from Africa by now. I feel sorry for you..get some education. Your back in the day when people thought different people evolved from alone in different places, we as anthropologists now know this is not the case.. do some reading and go back to college..you may learn something new!
Comment by bill on 26 November 2007:
I agree with the posts above. Poor thing. I’m a business writer and all the grammar and structural issues jumped out at once. Not his/her lucky day, huh?
I definately commend the writer for making the effort to write and bring up this topic. That’s more than what most people will do.
I’ve often dated outside of my race. I dated more when I got older for some reason or another
what do you date? neanderthals? For someone who thinks Modern Humans come in different races I wouldn’t worry about spelling, I would worry about sounding like an idiot.
Comment by bill on 26 November 2007:
I feel Slome has the right out look. I have dated out of my race more as I have gotten older also. We all have our reasons and maybe they are all similiar. I find women of color interesting and yes very attractive. I found that for the most part they are very aware of what is going on in the world which makes for good coversation. They are very loyal and devoted to their man. Dating is more difficult as we get older. Whom we choose to date or what color they are is not revelent to what and who will make us happy.
WHAT DID YOU DATE OUTSIDE YOUR RACE? A CHIMP? YOU SOUND LIKE A MORON YOU FOOL! ALL HUMANS ARE THE SAME RACE. LEARN SOME SCIENCE
Comment by CaribPrinces on 26 November 2007:
Mr. Bill or whoever you are. You say we all need some education but I think we are all more educated than you! Quite frankly I think you are schitzophrenic because you have a very strange and agressive writing style in one response but in the next it is calm?? Very strange.
I also have a degree in Anthropology as well as (more useful degrees) and so therefore know about “scientific education” as you put it. YOU ARE THE IDIOT.. WE ALL KNOW ALL HUMANS ARE THE SAME RACE, THE HUMAN RACE…But you are missing the point. The question is “why white men love black woman”. Whether you accept it or not there are cultural differences among people of different races and although you may see that as a threatening thing it is a reality and not necessarily a bad thing. We choose who we can relate to…People are different based on their background. You seem to be a closed minded Anthropologist. Any good Anthropologist would tell you that a human is made up of BOTH biology and his/her cultural background. And who cares if you are a business writer…there is no need to be so critical. I am sure some of the people in this forum are lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs etc…This is not the place to be critical about someones writing style!!! You really need to work on yourself…it’s people like you why others are afraid to join websites like this because of fear of meeting some complete fool and idiot! On the other hand I am probably the most intelligent and beautiful woman you would never meet! From the Caribbean, went to Harvard, studied Anthropology, then got a law degree as Anthropology was not geting me a job or good career, learned French and German, am an artist in free time and dancer etc etc….You on the other hand sound like an old fool who needs to catch up with the times AND/OR move out of your TRAILOR PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Foxfuzzy on 26 November 2007:
Well said, CaribPrincess. I was going to call Mr. Bill a dickless, pussyface loser and tell him to get freakin a life, but I guess we gotta be civilized. Ya know?
Comment by Salome on 26 November 2007:
Bill, quite trying to flame everyone. If you don’t like the subject matter and you think that everyone is beneath you then leave. There is no need to insult a group of people who managed to stay on topic. It’s immature and says plenty about your character.
Comment by nocolor on 27 November 2007:
I’ve been to a lot of websites regarding interracal romance. I’ve looked and read the whole gammit, heard the pros and cons. The bottom line and I’m speaking from just a little experinece… I think initially we are attracted by looks, color, sexual desire(in any order). But at the end of the day when the lights are low or out its what our heart feels, it’s what our minds tell us and when they come together the only thing that matters is do I love him/her? Will I put up with them will I defend them, will I love them till death?? That’s what we must all look at not the color or the attraction but do I really love you (that’s the question before me). “I Corthians 13:13 But now faith, hope and love, aibde(live) these three; but the greatest of these is love.” W/out it the relationship is false and highly unlikey to work no matter what color you are.
Comment by Elsa on 1 December 2007:
Ok Ok where are the white guys? See so many of them here in NYC but some how can’t get connected. I am from the caribbean and seem to be attracted to whie guys. Why? Not that I am judgemental of black guys, but I honetly think I pretty much enjoy the things a white guy might more enjoy doing. Like a broadway show, a tennis game, baseball game, walk around the city or just go bowling. I can’t stand that barbecue stuff all the time. Once in a while YES! I have dated black guys have one daughter. Family structre, in my opinion, white guys are generally more commited. Again that is my opinion. I think black guys are not open to change or to trying new things. By the way I am with Bill on one thing!! We are all part of the human race BUT I also want a guy who at least knows how to speak and is aware of what is going on in the world.
Comment by Virgo on 2 December 2007:
Elsa, I think a few things you said hit home for me. I like trying new things that aren’t always considered “black”. I like hiking, rock climbing, wine tasting, art galleries, plays & quite a few other ‘artsy’ activities. My experience has been that rarely do you see ‘brothas’ participating in those activities (sad..but true). White men opt to try these things & are open to trying new things. Black, asian, latino, etc… are just as entitled to participating in those activities as we(black people) are, so why they don’t? I don’t know.
I’m turned off by the ‘what it do’, ‘holla at ya boy’ mentality & would like to hold a genuine, intelligent conversation about current events w/a brotha but, it’s rare nowadays to find one who isn’t concerned about what others will think if he steps out of his comfort zone & try something new or ‘white’ as it was described once.
Who knows, maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be to force us to open our eyes & look @ different types of people & bring us together……….
Comment by CaribPrinces on 2 December 2007:
Hi LaShaun,
There may be all sorts of reasons why they are intimidated. However, it could also be just a cultural reason as to them having a different approach to coming over to you. I agree with your observation that most white guys WILL NOT in most situations approach a black woman. It also makes me question their strength and courage! However, when I was going out I had no problem…white men used to come up to me and ask me if I wanted a drink or to dance. I think however, that white men are more strategic planners in the dating scene…they have a certain way of coming on to you that tends to be LESS DIRECT than black men and more calculating so they don’t appear that they really want you. It’s a bit superficial but it’s a cultural thing. For example, a black man may say “damn baby you got a nice ass” or whatever and a white man may say “do you come here often or can I get you a drink (by the way brothas never buy you a drink, they usually just want to work up a sweat on the dance floor and get a free feel)! Sorry, that’s just my observation. Or the white guy may say, I’m just here with friends after work etc….but he may be thinking the same thing.
I found that if in a bar for example, I had to position myself close to the white guys and smile a lot, be cute and say something witty to get their attention in a non-direct way. It’s also good to go with a white woman not as gorgeous or got it going on as yourself so they can see the difference and ask YOU out! I’ve found that they don’t seem to be so intimidated to approach you if you are with a white woman. LOTS of white guys have come up to chat with me and/or ask me out if I am with my white female friends. They know then that you don’t have a problem with white people and so they are less intimidated. HOWEVER, if I am with another sista, NO CHANCE. If the mild flirting doesn’t work then they are just not interested, too scared or stupid to get it. Then it’s not even worth it.
Yes, they are intimidated by us so need a bit of coaxing but once they feel you are nice, pleasant and intelligent they will open up and the world is your oyster baby!
Comment by Elsa on 2 December 2007:
You said it perfectly. I do agree that white men are more inclined to do the things that we both seem to enjoy. I asked the friend of mine the other day if he would join me to a broadway show and his response was “that’s white people stuff”…………..I am so tired of that nonsense. I believe in the end we must be with that person whose company we enjoy. For me its that person who is family oriented, enjoy doing the things I mentioned and has his own hobbies that I am eager to try. If it is White guy so be it!! I have absolutely no problem with that. Just want to meet someone nice BUT I have no intentions on trying to change anyone. As for the brother as you called them, I am so done trying!!
Comment by nocolor on 5 December 2007:
I think after reading this again there is one thing that rings true about a black woman, as a cultre here in America from the begining of time in America and even before that in Egypt we have lost a lot we have watched and are still watching our familes in some case dispersed but yet and still we perservere, at black women we have God given strenghth that matches no other so yes that may be a turn on to our white male conterparts but let it not be a deterent. Let us take that and walk w/it. Even if one may never approach in our hearts of hearts we know we have the strenght to move on and hopefully we have the sense to know we can turn that burden over to the One that can handle it. But let us always remember to get beyon the superfical and remember to accept each other. Let me ask this will any of us date a white man in a wheel chair, a damaged soldier of war, an ugly white guy just ’cause he’t white??
Comment by SoulAmbient on 10 December 2007:
When I came across this Blog, I was curious to know how many Black Women truly felt the way I do about being receptive to dating outside “the norm”. Growing up, I was always looked at as “the strange one” due to my artistic musical taste and what type pof Man I found to be attractive as a young girl. My preference in Men has always been universal. I’ve dated and even married a Black Man, but again, I simply was never really (personality wise) attracted to them. Now this statement is not to put the Black Man down, because I do believe that there are good Black Men out there, seeking to commit themselves to a Black Woman. But for me, I will confess (as it is my right) to choose who I want to be with and I am exclusive to dating outside my Race. It is about Taboo for me, I am proud to be the object of desire, passion & intellect to a Man that can truly appreciate a Woman outside of anothers tunel vision. What is there NOT to love about the Black Queen. We make some of the most beautiful babies!
Comment by geneandthem on 10 December 2007:
CaribPrinces some times it almost seem like you are really hung up on the whole Black White thing? You say THEY so much it almost feels like it could be racism. Although you do seem very intelligent and And like a great person, I think you try to Break down everything to much. “Yes, they are intimidated by us so need a bit of coaxing but once they feel you are nice, pleasant and intelligent they will open up and the world is your oyster baby!” They They They?? Also I have never one time in my life been intimidated by a black woman! What youdontbelievefatmeatgreasy? I love a Nice, pleasant and intelligent woman period but that has nothing to do with white or black??? I don’t know it just feels weird! I know my self, and I have never approached a black woman based off of who she is standing next to? Black, White, Purple or blue! And I would never describe black woman as THEY THEY THEY!! Or any race in general. I am 31 years of age, Half Italian and Half white. My first Kiss was with a black girl in the 2nd grade! My first play Girlfriend in the Third grade was black. My first Real Girlfriend in 9th grade all the way through high school was black, we were together for 5 years. And every woman since then was black. I have never had a problem approaching black woman. And as far as me approaching any woman with a disrespectful line such as “YOU GOT A FAT ASS BABY” Would not happen in any life For me. I respect all woman, and really just do not speak like that. I think black woman are the most Beautiful woman ever, I could not even fathom being with a white woman. Hell I never even seen a white woman naked in real life. And only kissed my grandmother on the Cheek so that the clostes to kissing I have ever been! The other day on the site I met a woman We chatted a few times, then out of the blue, I was right in the middle of asking her something, like “SO WHERE ALL HAVE YOU TRAVELED AND WHERE ALL WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRAVEL” After about a min I seen her typing and she says ” WHY DO YOU DATE BLACK WOMAN?” “OR WHY DO YOU EVEN LIKE THEM” I was like WOW, Where did that come from here we are talking about Traveling, and out of nowhere this question pops up killed the whole mood. I tried to answer but it is just hard to break it down, I cant really place my finger on it specifically. But she would not let it go like she was interrogating me, the Final blow was “WHAT ARE YOU NOT COMFORTABLE IN YOUR WHITE SKIN, OR WITH BEING WITH YOUR OWN RACE” I was amazed! I have never felt that it was that serious of a deal and for her as like many in here it seems to really be a big deal! I just feel like it is not a important issue, Why any one likes anyone is unexplainable. Attraction is something that is just human, and has no Wordily break down. It either is or isn’t. All I know is I’m me and I feel I’m a great catch! I can cook to much to name, Italian, Mexican, Even soul! Bake, make homemade candy, hell I can even CAN Food, like veggies, and make homemade jelly’s. I dress well, I have a great job I’m clean for a guy, and really overall a good down to earth person! I never walk around with racial questions or break down any part of my actions in a black or white manner. I never speak of any color of person in a racial slang, or the whole THEY, THEM, stuff that is going on here! I do not know but all this just gives a very racist feeling, and really I try to distance my self away from that its like negative energy! The bottom line is I LOVE BLACK WOMAN! EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM!!! and yea they are all very different, just like any other color of woman. I love skin, eyes, smile, hair and all! This will never change and will always be!
Ashley,
Comment by nocolor on 10 December 2007:
Well Ashley,
Finally someone who gets you like who you like just ’cause that’s the heart God gave you. I feel like you do although I have never dated outside my cultre background… well no really. What’s the differnce… when you’re with the person you like and you give that person a kiss and you close your eyes when you kiss them can you tell what color they are when you kiss them. Didn’t think so you look past the color of ones skin, the neighborhood they were raised in then prick them with a pen I bet they bleed red just like you. Hope one day our paths can cross I don’t like to cook sounds like you do.
Comment by ChaiBlend on 11 December 2007:
I don’r find anything wrong with dating outside of my ethnicity. In fact, it is truly a blessing to be able to unite on love and not segragating because of skin color…Segragation is man-made not God made. Soul mates unite from inside not out.
I do have a question though - where are all the non-superficial (deep) vanilla brothers in Southern California?
~CB
Comment by geneandthem on 11 December 2007:
Well hello nocolor! I am sorry but I have read your response to me many times, and still really, I do not understand what you are saying? I’m truly sorry it just doesn’t make sense to me? “”who gets you like who you like just ’cause that’s the heart God gave you. I feel like you do although I have never dated outside my cultre background… well no really.” and please do not think I am saying something negative I just don’t understand? And really I do agree with you in some ways, but for me black is comfy! It is home and it is all i know! It is a preference, and I just love it! This will not change, I know if I close my eyes and it is a white woman it will be different! TO ME!!! Maybe not you or someone else but for me it will! Just like I don’t like Ice cream, most everyone else does! I should not be interrogated by everyone I meet because I like or do not like ICE cream! I don’t know. I go about my day to day life everyday thinking about my culture and background, and Haitian culture and background, and African culture and background, and Dominican culture and background and Japanese culture and back ground! I don’t just stick to my White Culture and heartage, and it is not becasue I do not like my white skin or people! I have a thirst for knowledge! I love travel, and I love all cultures and want to experience all of them! I love people of all colors! And ethnic backgrounds! I love my White skin, just like I love your skin what ever color it may be! Sometimes I just wish I could find my partner in Crime, and cast ourselves away on a small island someplace to be away from all the bull! Because I never think about all of these racial problems, topics, or what ever you want to call them, everyday I see people, different colors, sizes, and shapes! I do not see them, they, or those,! I really just feel that there is not a racist bone in my body there are good people and there are bad! And maybe some in between! The only way all these issues can end would be to stop talking about them so much! all this media, blogs, and everything just keeps all this stuff brewing! I feel like I am just blabbering now, anyways, to all have a great week! All I can say is I LOVE MY BLACK WOMAN,,, WAIT, NO NO I AM IN LOVE WITH BLACK WOMAN AND IT WILL NEVER CHANGE I KISS THE GROUND THAT YOU WALK ON!!!
Ashley,
Comment by nocolor on 11 December 2007:
Ahsley, Calm down all I was really saying was I’m glad you think the way you think, you like who you like and that you have the ability to see past color. But most of us have been so ingrained on the color issue the social status all the dumb stuff that at the end of the day really makes no difference. What matters is at the end of the crazy day with the crazy stuff and people you can share it with someone else be they black, asian, mexican,christian, catholic or jew. Believe me when the time is right we will both meet someone who is right for us, you a postive black woman, me anyone outside my ethnicity. You are right about one thing the blogs can be good or bad. Their just that the opnions of those that blog, opnions not fact. Have a great day.
Comment by joey on 13 December 2007:
simple due to upbring blk women have amatur male side and can be you friend and lover………. the ultimate sex godess - full lips and unbridled passion
there are no other women
talk tome at email
joey older Italian get
Comment by CanadianBLK on 14 December 2007:
Caribprincess!! You really sound classy on your remarks to Bill…He’s got a point (Although there is no need to insult non-anthropology educated people). You sound very conceded…and not too clear on your anthropological understanding of the race concept…If you are truly an anthropology graduate, you should know that race (a social concept) and culture are two different concepts…your attacks on Bill and your acknowledgement of mainstream ideologies on those two concepts, brings me to question where you’ve obtained your degree…
BTW: Race is a concept fabricated by white supremacy hegemony to justify the mistreatment of groups of people deemed inferior and to maintain the Eurocentric ideology of the superiority of ‘white race’. This ideology gave way to the justification of slavery. Bill is right!! There is only one race: The Human race!!!
P.S. Je parle aussi le Francais…for bragging rights! LOL
Comment by CanadianBLK on 14 December 2007:
Geneandthem…I agree with everything you’ve said…makes me wonder: Are you Canadian? You sure sound like one…LOL (That’s a compliment BTW)
Comment by nocolor on 14 December 2007:
joey Says:
simple due to upbring blk women have amatur male side and can be you friend and lover………. the ultimate sex godess - full lips and unbridled passion
there are no other women
Would you marry a black woman or is it just for her Friendship full lips or unbridled passion. After that what is there you are seeking from a black woman???? I know not all white woman have full lips the rest I’m a little foggy on. Shouldn’t it just be because you care and love her inside and out not just for the physcial.
Comment by geneandthem on 14 December 2007:
LOL! No sorry I am a American! Born in California! Grew up in Texas, and now live in Dallas to be exact. I know peoples views, and opinions are there’s and everyone is entitled to them, but I just feel that if you are truly into interracial dating. There should be no Questions, or debate over it! Breaking everything down to the most minute level just seems like uncertainty to me. I never think twice about how I date! I never have second thoughts, it almost seems like if I did hesitate like that then I would really be unsure of dating that way! If I had all these crazy opinions like Caribprincess it would almost seem like I was fronting or lying to trick someone into getting with me only to not be that person. I’m sure that she will take offense to that but really if you read what she writes, she basically says to run game on white guys and act like you are a nice sweet smart person at first to snare them, then you got them???? I don’t understand it! I approach every black woman the same! As my self, I do not front! I want who ever I find to be interested and fall in love with me for me, not a front I put on just to trick them into liking me? Because if I have to do that, then that person is not for me anyway! I’m really curious to see what you look like Caribprincess? Because like I said, I have no problems approaching black woman anywhere I go, that can be from a fancy bar, to a mall, to the hood, or a wine tasting event! Which brings up the real question what is it about you that you are not being approached by white men, that you have to “”"”Yes, they are intimidated by us so need a bit of coaxing but once they feel you are nice, pleasant and intelligent they will open up and the world is your oyster baby!”"”"??????? I am not intimidated by any man or woman! If you are with a man and you are in public, weather it be your boyfriend or your brother I would not approach you due to a respect thing! If you are not attractive to me in a way that I like more then likely I will not approach you! If I see you doing something I do not like in a woman more then likely I will not approached you! But who you are with has nothing to do with it! And if you are not really intelligent, or nice, or pleasant, please don’t front like you are! I don’t want to be hustled! And more then likely I have enough street savvy to see threw some BS like that anyway if it is just a front!
Ashley,
Comment by QK1 on 16 December 2007:
I am a very well educated, intelligent and good looking black woman. I do not know why but it is almost exclusively white men who want to date me. There is one at the moment who is almost going crazy because of the fixation he has about me ie sex a with curvaceous black woman with big soft lips - his words and problem not mine
When I date a man, first and foremost I look for intelligence, a good sense of humour and the ability to string a couple of sentences together 
Cheers QK1
Comment by andrew on 16 December 2007:
im white and honestly i grew up in a black area. i guess i just growd up likein black girls. they aint as timid and scared. lol and if u got to agrue with them they aint as soft. ya theres the physical and ya sex is better but personality wise they can be just as much ur boy as ur lover. lol and i like to see it piss white girls off when im with a black girl. shows alot of white girls they aint the shit like they think they r.
Comment by paula on 16 December 2007:
Im a black single woman who just wants to find a decent man, black or white. I just got out of a relationship with a white guy who I thought could possibly be the one. My job requires me to look professional and I enjoy looking good for myself and my man. The only problem is, is that he takes no pride in his appearance. I dated him for his mind, but as time progressed, we started to go out and be around other people he was proud to “show me off” but there were times i was totally embarassed by him by the way he looked. He says Im being materialistic, but that is simply taking pride in your appearance. I truly like this guy but his hygiene was awful and of course he got offended when I addressed this issue with him. He said there are women who like guys who dont take care of themselves. I said theyre certainly not black women. Im curious black women out there, is this true? would you date a white man who wears no cologne, front teeth are brown from smoking and never wears anything but ripped jeans and t-shirts…all the time and is 42 y/o. I look good for him all the time, I get nothing. Please tell me all white men are not like this. Am I wrong? Please tell me I am.
P.W
Comment by Salome on 16 December 2007:
I have a friend of mine who is white and she complains of her boyfriend being like that all the time. I don’t think it has anything to do with race. I think it is just personal choice. That is how this guy chooses to present himself to the world. I dated a white guy who was an impeccable dresser. He looked fabulous, looked way younger than his age, and smelled wonderful. Again, personal choice.
Comment by Virgo on 17 December 2007:
Paula, I feel for you girl. My opinion is..if you take care of yourself & your appearance means something to you…..(white or black) if those are the qualities you’d like in a mate….except NOTHING LESS!! Bottom line….Life is hard enough. We don’t need the person who is supposed to ‘add’ to our life in a positive way, there to bring us down, cause strife or direct us down a negative path!
Comment by josuf on 20 December 2007:
Of al the blogs i have i have read on this site, they all pretty much repeat the same tired mantras.I’ll continue to search for a blog that will enrich beyond shallow recitable and rehearsed diatribe found here.”PEACE TO YOUR AGENDAS”.
Comment by geneandthem on 20 December 2007:
Hey josuf if you have you have you have not found something that interest you here why don’t why don’t you bump it on down and beat your feet up out of here! Why even grace us with you perfect blogging presence? Kick rocks!
Comment by black&proud34 on 23 December 2007:
First of all let me say this I real don’t care if you are a white person that grew up in a black society that doesn’t you have to date a black man. Secondally, for those african american that feel that they dont care if there man is black or white it does matter because yes we are humans but we are culturaly and ehtnicty different , Iwoud date a white man ever in my life for many reasons I don’t find them charming in my eyes at all, but for a white lady comes an say to me I love his dark complexion that is discrimating you don’t know one real thing us african american woman find in are dark educated black men. Also caucasion white males and females be your selve stop trying to be black all african americans haven’t grew up in the ghetto nor do we speak in the manner, that like I trying to be you, this wouldnever happen.my truful thoughts
Comment by black&proud34 on 23 December 2007:
First of all let me say this I real don’t care if you are a white person that grew up in a black society that doesn’t you have to date a black man. Secondally, for those african american that feel that they dont care if there man is black or white it does matter because yes we are humans but we are culturaly and ehtnicty different , Iwoudn’t
date a white man ever in my life for many reasons I don’t find them charming in my eyes at all, but for a white lady comes an say to me I love his dark complexion that is discrimating you don’t know one real thing us african american woman find in are dark educated black men. Also caucasion white males and females be your selve stop trying to be black all african americans haven’t grew up in the ghetto nor do we speak in the manner, that like I trying to be you, this wouldnever happen.my truful thoughts
Comment by geneandthem on 24 December 2007:
black&proud34 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? Read what you said most of it does not make sense? And why would you even post in interracial threads? Obviously something interest you about that aspect of dating! To me it sounds like you are racist! You just broke down The description of “CHARMING” and disqualified all white men from being charming? That is a racist remark? If you say that a man is not charming, and he just happened to be white that’s not racism, but you said all white men are not charming? Charming is a quality! And if you really believe that all white men in the world are not charming I feel sorry for you! There are charming men and woman of all colors and races! Just like there are men and woman that are not! But you can not describe one whole race as not being something or being something! If you are truly black & proud, take pride in what you say! I could say (wow look at your post, did you even proofread it before you posted?) Like you! From how you are and how you see things, I could say all black woman are stupid, just like you say all white men are not charming! But then I would be like you and I would be racist! Instead I leave color and race out of it and say, “wow this person is clueless, and it has nothing to do with color!” If you are into interracial dating please join us for debate! If you are racist go find someplace dealing with your type of interest to post in! The Title of this thread is!!!!!!!
Why white men love the black woman!
White and Black being descriptive words not racial comments!
And it could not be “Why white men love White woman”
That would be a non interracial thread!
And for you!!!! You need to look for “Why black woman love Black men!” That’s your blog not this one!
Ashley,
Comment by Nuthin Fancy on 25 December 2007:
Well, I’m just a country boy from the east coast.I’ve always been atracted to black women but until last week, I always feared rejection if I asked for a date. This friday I’m going on a date with a beautiful, classy lady, who is interested in me, even though we are from different ends of town. God makes beautiful women in all flavors!
Comment by Caramel54 on 1 January 2008:
Thirty-five years ago, White men were attracted to me when I wasn’t even aware of it. Thirty-five years ago, in my small home town, interracial dating was not acceptable. Now there are at least (5) interracial marriages in my family. I have basically always got along with everyone, I did not then and I do not now see “color”. During the last (10) years I have dated interracially, so I say “to each his own”. The same God made us all.
Comment by nocolor on 1 January 2008:
Amen to that!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by phatkitty on 2 January 2008:
To black and proud 34, i agree with geneandthem. What the hell!!!! girl you need to stay off the bottle or take a creative writing class in English. I dont know if your second language is English, but you write/talk like it is. If so, i understand, but you still need to proof read what you write before you post your message. Quite frankly, it is very hard to read writings that seem like “nonsense.” And ontop of that, you will get a lot of negative criticism.
Comment by Salome on 2 January 2008:
I co-sign to the above.
Comment by Cfreeman on 3 January 2008:
I’m a white dude from Dallas TX, and find black girls the sexy women out there. Not just for their amazing bodies, but because of their mind and spirit. Black women are the strongest of women. But the problem I have is finding a BG that wants a WG thats not hood. It seems everytime I meet a new girl within ten mins. I can tell she has no interest cuz I not hood enough for her. And i won’t pretend to be something I’m not. So are there any black girls from Dallas TX that can tell me where to go to meet a black girl looking for more in Dallas TX. please and Thanx
Comment by geneandthem on 4 January 2008:
Well I live in Dallas Tx, I have never had a problem looking for or finding Black woman in Dallas. In fact most of the black woman I have dated are mos def not looking for hoods! Where are you going to find woman? You need to Check out Spike on Monday nights! Its in Mockingbird center, by where the old Virgin records was. On mondays it is Neo-Soul night! Never spotted any hoods in there! Now if you are wearing Dickies to your ankles, walking legs spread wide to keep your pants on, Open Fronts in your mouth, riding a 88 caprice lifted on 26’s, well then more then likely your only going to always find Hoods anyway! What is your style?
Ashley,
Comment by geneandthem on 4 January 2008:
Salome, I was reading your post on December 16th, and wondering what is your name? Did we date? Were you talking about me?????
lol
jk
Ashley,
Comment by Kimme on 10 January 2008:
I love the fact that the “white man” loves the “black woman”. But I’d settle for the man just loving the woman. Sure racial preference is big these days, but I’d hope that reverse prejudice is not rampant. Me, strong, educated black woman that I am, prefer to date white men, I was even married to one for 20 years, so I’m not a novice, but I certainly have witnessed the same qualitiies and lack thereof,in all men. It’s sort of like having a preference for coffee instead of tea, or vice versa. It’s just a matter of what satisfies you. Me, I’ve tried both and I like both, but if I had to choose…..? I’d go for the whiteboy! Just being honest.
Comment by Queenbee7519 on 21 January 2008:
As a black woman I’ve seen white guys approach black females for the sexual thing and nothing more. Which to me is offensive because technically white females are the most loose sexually. Yet some white guys can’t admit they like black women for the fact that we’re so different we make most white women hate us because we’re not a cookie cutter type of woman with a run of the mill type image.
Like some of the posters said black women come in all shapes, sizes, and skin tones so it’s like a white man has the choice to choose what he wants since white women are generally all the same. Most of them as told to me are clingy, whinny, and expect men to do everything for them. Whereas a black woman stands strong on her own and is ok with or without a man as to some white women who can’t function without a man on their arm. I’ve had white men come and talk to me in clubs and even bought me drinks, but when white women start seeing that they do things like approach a man too overly flirty and even sometimes drunk. A lot of white guys don’t like drunk women hitting on them.
Even the good looking white guys are not impressed with things women do for their attention. Most of the attractive white men usually are very stand-offish because they think women who approach them are doing it because of how he looks instead of getting to know him as a person. I like a guy who happens to be Greek, but every description I’ve heard out of a females’ mouth is how he so sexy and hot and I was like damn I want to know does he like to cook, read, and listen to music. This wasnt black women saying this it’s white women who get off on that he’s so hot and sexy and whatever redundent sexual thoughts they have about the man.
I was interested in knowing him as a person and what he enjoys doing in his spare time, I know he’s attractive, but I am not drooling over him like some 15 year old school girl. He’s a successful 31 year old attorney and was VP of his family owned bank as a loan officer. Most of the black men I’ve met are chronically unemployed, been in and out of jail, got babies and mamas all over the place, they’re acting straight thuggish, and don’t treat women right.
I found that white guys are more apt to doing for themselves and don’t got some female telling him to get up and get a job and having to deal with a plethora of excuses. Yes there’s that preference aspect, but black women are getting fed up with black men acting insensitive and prickish towards their needs and only seem interested in getting pussy most of the time. What happened to a sista being treated like a lady and not thinking the only date she’s worth is to the local McDonalds or some fast food joint and going out for romantic dinners to a nice restaurant.
I can understand why sistas are crossing over in the dating and marriage department they want better. Black men have been trading sistas in for a stringy hair white woman as a symbol of his success and making it. Sistas were only a rock he stepped on to get up in the world when nobody else was there for him. Today in 2008 sistas are taking back control of their lives by dealing with men who have no long standing history of social issues and personal problems. I say sistas don’t be afraid of the vanilla flava because there’s nothing wrong with a little cream in your coffee.
Comment by Eva on 21 January 2008:
First time visiting this blog. The subject matter is timely although I am a bit late in commenting.
“Geneandthem” (Ashley)you express yourself like an independent thinking person. That is a very good thing. You make your thoughts clearly and uncomprimisingly(sp?). Like that. It is so needed in any relationship regardless of color/ethnicity.
Gee, I would certainly like to meet similar men in NYC.
Having said that, I decided I wanted to date White men as it is really quite natural…due to work environment, etc. The White men I have known really are not vastly different in terms of my own lifestyle and mindset. I think it is a win/win all around (positive think negates fear).
May we all find someone great to date/marry in the near future.
Comment by geneandthem on 22 January 2008:
Eva, Just curious as to what you are saying about me? Is it negative or positive? I couldn’t really tell, on one hand it seemed like you were supporting me and on the other hand your (sp?) comment was really the opposite. I’m just curious a suppressive person has many negative characteristics? In fact all the characteristics of a suppressive person is negative. SO i was just wondering, not trying to kick up any dust just wanting some clarification! Also you say you would like to meet someone similar in NYC? DO you only limit yourself to a radius around you in searching for your soul mate? I feel that all possibility’s should be left open. weather it is long distance from another city or another country. You never know who or where your better half might be located! Maybe in NYC, but maybe in Texas, or Europe, or Italy, or Colombia. You never know I feel that if I only settled for who i could find in The Dallas Area and shut all other possibility’s out I would just be settling.
Ashley,
Comment by Eva on 22 January 2008:
Geneandthem,
I thought I was quite clear that I agreed with what you were saying. I liked all of it. You are very clear on what you want and fearless to boot. It is very positive. Did not mean to confuse you.
As for wanting to meet someone in NYC, it is because NY is where I live. Online I’ve met men who live in Texas or Germany, etc. And I certainly do not rule out someone because of location. If I meet a man who lives far away…I am willing explore the possibilities if it is conducive for both parties. In fact, I would embrace such a meeting.
So dear Ashley, hope I cleared up the questions you had.
Comment by geneandthem on 22 January 2008:
Yes you did and was just wondering! Have a great week!
Ashley,
Comment by Prettypaw on 22 January 2008:
I for one am tired of having to explain myself to any and everyone about my preference. I just do. I have done nothing wrong and i have made choices of good men. Hey some men like Blondes I have no complaints, they just do. I have no probelem with black men who date white women. I don’t feel cheeted or lumped out from it. I honestly don’t care. Peopple can’t understand. All that I ask is that you respect myplace to have my choice. Happiness to all.
Comment by cocobaker813 on 22 January 2008:
I personally think that White men have finally ALLOWED themselves to acknowledge the beauty and spirit of Black women. As an older teen and early 20-something back in the late 1980’s and a lot of the 90’s, I was surrounded by some white guys in college who didn’t want anyone to know they found nonwhite women attractive-unless they were Latina or Asian women-the “exotic” types. I live very close to New York City, and it seems that, at least in the Downtown areas, there were always White men dating and marrying Black women. As for me, a lot of the White men I dated as a younger woman were European(German, French, Italian, Scandanavian)men living in NYC who thought it was no big deal to be with a Black woman until they came to the States. I didn’t date a “domestic” White guy until my 30’s. My last serious relationship was with a White man who ONLY dates Black women! My final thought is that I date who I date. As long as I get respect that I give to a man, we’re fine. How hypocritical would I be if I hated on Black men who date nonBlack women? I agree with Prettypaw when she said “All that I ask is that you respect my place to have my choice”. Isn’t that supposed to be what this country was founded on? Choice and the freedom to have it?
Comment by Lauren on 23 January 2008:
Eva,
Your response to Ashley who questioned whether your support of his previous comments was positive or negative was succint and priceless. I’m with ya, I did not see the angle he was coming from; your original statements were clear.
He had no more doubt or questions for you. Miss missy you cleared it right up. lol
Comment by geneandthem on 23 January 2008:
Well Lauren, the reason I was asking was because yes she did seem like she was with me but the whole (sp) comment was not? Maybe you don’t know what that means but let me fill you in! SP is a abbreviation for Suppressive Person. A Suppressive Person is a person who possesses a distinct set of characteristics and mental attitudes that cause him to suppress other people in his vicinity. This is the person whose behavior is calculated to be disastrous. Also called antisocial personality. There are many other characteristics of a suppressive person that are not good, such as a person that deals mainly in bad news, who makes critical or hostile remarks. And many more! So really it was me trying to find out what she was talking about because one comment basically canceled out the other! Like I said I wasn’t kicking up dust. She sounds dope and just wanted to know if she was feeling me which I thought she was or she wasn’t feeling me? I would most defiantly not want to date or be with a person that is (SP). So no i do not doubt her, nor was I questing her. Just clearing it up for me. She sounds great! Maybe you just didn’t catch what she said but I did!
Ashley,
Comment by Lauren on 24 January 2008:
Ashley,
Another use of sp(?) [with a question mark]behind the word uncompromisingly is for “is the spelling incorrect here”.
If I’m not mistaken, that is what Eva’s (sp)? signified.
Eva, please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
Comment by Liberatedwoman on 24 January 2008:
Question for Cocobaker… You stated that you have dated numerous non-black men over the years. Have any of them ever asked you to marry them?
Comment by Liberatedwoman on 24 January 2008:
So, to answer the question, the world is changing and becoming more global and the media etc is not only showing the white women as the queen of all in intelligence and beauty BUT now other women are getting their share as well so naturally the world is now seeing the true beauty of these black women and naturally want a piece of the pie! It’s about time..they tried to say we were not beautiful or intelligent but now we are among the top. Here’s to all the beautiful black as well as Asian women who for so long were not consedered beautiful or intelligent and are now giving the white women a run for their money AND ALSO taking their men!! ps- we just want the successful white men!! We’ve come too far to go back now!
I say:
Dont worry about the white woman’s power and beauty so much. If we are so fabulous in our beauty we should not be worrying about who is held up to the standard. Just know your own value and worth and dont worry about them.
Comment by geneandthem on 24 January 2008:
Liberatedwoman, HAHAHAHA….. LOLOLOLOL,,,,,,, Are you serious? So the question of this blog is, “Why white men love the black woman?” And you think that White men love black woman because of media influences and you also think that this is just RECENT?? I am 31, and all of my friends Date interracially and have since we were Kids! You think that White men Love black woman because a Spot light has been shed on White woman for years and now the blinders are being lifted, for us to see Asian and Black woman? Where do you live?? Show me a Article or magazine or TV special in the top circulated media forms where it says these things or has ever said these things? I have Heard many racist remarks, degrading slangs, racial slurs and flat out just wrong things to say. But black woman not being beautiful I have never heard that! Weather a man is racist or doesn’t believe in interracial procreation he can most defiantly not take away your beauty! Even a racist man has to admit that black woman are the most Beautiful woman on the planet! I mean Black woman don’t have to wear make up, unless they want to! Black woman age better then any other woman. Weather a black woman is 20 or 55 almost all black woman look about mid 20’s. Beautiful Soft skin, Over all better complexions! And then “you only want the Successful white men” What is Successful To you? Rich? Wealthy? Owner of a business? Owns a Yacht? What is it? So you mean you look for a man with money, and a nice car and nice things it really doesn’t matter if he BEATS YOUR ASS when you get home as long as he is successful right? I mean you would hope for a successful partner, but happiness is more important right? A good man? A good father? A good provider? A good Companion? A good Relationship? I don’t care what my better half does as long as we have everything we need! We are happy! We provide for each other our family, our Children? You know when I read your post I just feel the Racism brewing from your writing? Do you even date interracially for the right reasons? You talk about WHITE PEOPLE in a crazy way? And yes there are many bad white people out there just like there are bad black folk, and asian, and hispanic, and every other type of nationality! But wow!!! “Don’t worry about the white woman’s power and beauty so much”"”" WTF?????? what are you talking about? I’m sorry I’m not saying that there are not beautiful white woman because there are but there are WAY more Beautiful woman of ethnic backgrounds out there then white woman, and this Whole WHITE POWER trip your on! Once again the question is “Why white men love the black woman?” IT has nothing to do with Media, it has nothing to do with the WHite woman holding anyone down for so long and now they are not any longer, it has nothing to do with WHITE WOMAN POWER, And WHITE Beauty! It just IS!!! GO ASK ANY WHITE MAN YOU KNOW THAT LOVES BLACK WOMAN THIS QUESTION!!!! DO YOU LOVE BLACK WOMAN BECAUSE OF INFLUENCES OF THE MEDIA IN ANY WAY?? That man will look at you like you are crazy ask you what the hell you been smoking and probably not talk to you any more on the simple fact of thinking you are crazy! Please please do not bring up the whole WHITE POWER Trip around any of your interracial dating friends either because more then likely they will start to have a different opinion on you! And never ever ever ever ever bring up the little ps- we just want the successful white men!! To any man you are trying to date or hook up with because It has gold digger written all over it! You are most def a trip that was the wildest post i have seen yet in this blog! when I read your post I think of this, Imagine your opposite? Like if you were the WHITE interracial dater? You would be like a Racist RED neck white girl that dated black men? That’s just what it looks like to me? What you are saying is just way off base to me! You are black woman that dates white me, (sucessful white men)(only) and so you cant not answer the question of why “WE LOVE BLACK WOMAN” becasue your not a white man? It would be like me saying Oh black woman love us white guys becasue were better then black guys, and we are more sucessful, and becasue we have money and nice things! And there are just now seeing that becasue the media is opening there eyes to this so now the blinders are off! NOOOOOOOO We cant and we could not answer this Question? Nor would I ever say some off base shit like that! “Why do black woman love White men?” Only a black woman could answer that and it would be a different answer for every black woman you asked! DAMN I need to stop reading these blogs! This is Crazy!
Ashley,
Comment by Liberatedwoman on 24 January 2008:
Hold on wait a minute!!!!These words are not even mine! If you are going to take the time out to type such a long post, you should know what you are talking about! The top parts of my posts are cut and pastes from other bloggers posts. The bottom are my comments. Here they are:
Question for Cocobaker… You stated that you have dated numerous non-black men over the years. Have any of them ever asked you to marry them?
and
I say:
Dont worry about the white woman’s power and beauty so much. If we are so fabulous in our beauty we should not be worrying about who is held up to the standard. Just know your own value and worth and dont worry about them.
The above comments in this box are the only comments I have typed on this blog. I am responding to other people’s comments and I cut and pasted to include in my blog. GO BACK AND REREAD THE POSTS!!! You just typed that long post and did not even direct it at the correct person!!!By the way, you sound like a total crazy person. Please do not post anymore messages to me!
Comment by eva on 24 January 2008:
Ashley aka Geneandthem,
In my original post I used (sp?) after the word uncomprimisingly because I figured I spelled it wrong (which I did).
(sp?) does not stand for SP or Suppressive Person.
In cyberspace people use (sp?)(–>question mark is the giveaway) when they are unsure of the spelling of a word they are using to make a point.
Hope that clears everything up.
Comment by naenae73 on 24 January 2008:
you just cant help who you fall in love with….regardless of all sterotypes and cliches…love is love…and as long as those two people are happy and they understand each other….
Comment by Sadena on 24 January 2008:
I would have to agree with some of the other post, for those that are color blind its a preference, just like some people are attracted to slender people some curvier, some blond and brunette, it really shouldn’t be such a big debate, if someone of a different race turns your head more then your same race, so be it. There are so many other trouble’s and problems in the world, that need to be address. The preference of who loves who should not be one of them.
Comment by geneandthem on 24 January 2008:
Yes Eva it does thanks! Just want sure!
Ashley,
Comment by geneandthem on 24 January 2008:
Thanks Eva just was’nt sure!
Ashley,
Comment by naenae73 on 25 January 2008:
as long as you are happy with the person you are with…regardless of the attractions..stereotypical or not…there is no need to explain anything to anyone (nor should you feel you have to)
Comment by Sunshine on 26 January 2008:
This is my first time visting this blog. Can anyone answer me this? Why is it that the only men who approach me are the white men. I could be at a bar or club with 50 black men and 3 white men. Who do you think will approach me? Always the white man! That’s why I love them! I have only dated white men because they are the only men who will pursue me. I am open to all kinds of men but I tend to favor the white men. Anyone have any thoughts?
Comment by pbs86 on 26 January 2008:
What in the hell is an amazing body? God gave me a body that looks like a man if you removed my breasts.
Sunshine I don’t know why white men approach you and not other men. Maybe it’s your style of dress, the way you wear your hair, or even the fact that you smiled. Maybe they like your skintone. I have had very bad experiences with white men who were just strangers, and I have had weird experiences with some who believed I was a prostitute. These days since I am in college they just stare all day long, but they won’t say anything to me. This always happens when I wear my hair in an afro. It just leaves me feeling like a damn freak.
Anyway, good luck to everyone in looking for their future mates. I’m out of here.
Comment by Sunshine on 27 January 2008:
pbs86 I doubt your body looks like a man. I can’t believe some men thought you were a prostitute! As for the white men who stare at you all day, they must like what they see! They are probably too scared to approach you. Thanks for your thoughts!
Comment by truth on 27 January 2008:
Black women are the MOST BEAUTIFUL RACE OF WOMEN. Especially the ones straight up from AFRICA. I LOVE THOSE DARK AFRICAN CHICKS. SHIT WHITE WOMEN CAN’T COMPETE WITH THAT. AFRICAN WOMEN ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SET OF WOMEN ON THE PLANET. I ALSO LIKE WHEN I SEE A WHITE GIRL GIVING ME THE BAD EYE WHEN I WALK ON THE STREETS WITH MY NUBIAN WOMAN. WHITE GIRLS ARE TOO NEEDY AND TOO LOOSE. AFRICAN WOMEN ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL . I LOVE THE ONES FROM SOUTH AFRICA AND SENEGAL ESPECIALLY. I WOULD ADVICE MORE WHITE DUDES TO TRY AFRICAN WOMEN. YOU WILL SEE THAT TEHY ARE VERY DIFFERENT FROM AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN
Comment by truth on 27 January 2008:
AFRICAN WOMEN ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SET OF WOMEN IN THIS WORLD. I LOVE THE DARKER ONES MAN THEY ARE TRUE BEAUTY. WHITE GIRLS GET UPSET WHEN THEY SEE ME WITH ONE LOL
Comment by Black and White on 27 January 2008:
I met the most fabulous man on blackcentury.com and we have been together for more than a year now. Maybe you want to find your love online. Of course, he is white, and I am black.
Comment by Lauren on 27 January 2008:
I just read an advertisement from another blogger who suggested a particular website for interracial dating (I will not name the referred to site - you can read above to see that). The post is suspect.
Everyone please be careful about joining dating sites. Make note of the following when deciding to join an internet dating service:
1) Does the site appear to be reputable?
2) Are there a good selection of preferred men in your specific age range?
3) Is the internet site free? OR is it just free to JOIN but you must pay to contact someone you have an interest in or respond to a wink or email sent to you?
4) Are the photos on the website authentic? There is a large group of scam artists who look to prey on innocent men and women who join the sites looking for someone sincere.
The scam artist wants to lure you with fake photos and gain your trust. Then suddenly there is an issue which your ‘date’ requests (either direct or indirect) for you to send money or some other form of benefit. Do not fall for this; the behavior should be reported immediately.
Comment by truth on 28 January 2008:
THERE IS A DIFFERNT BETWEEEN AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN AND AFRICAN WOMEN. I AM COMPLETLY TURNED OFF THESE SO CALLED AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN.SOME ARE COOL BUT OTHERS ARE JUST FOUL MOUTHED GIRLS. I AM WHITE AND I PREFER 100% AFRICAJ WOMEN TO AFRICAN-AMERICANS. AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN SHOULD TAKE SOME LESSONS FROM AFRICAN WOMEN
Comment by Sunshine on 28 January 2008:
truth, what is up with all the hostility against african-american women. Did you date a lot of african-american women who rubbed you the wrong way? The difference between african women and african-american women are their cultures. American culture is completely different than African culture. Please explain what lessons african-american women could learn from african women.
Yes, I am a african-american women.(WOMEN is the key word here) I am far from a FOUL MOUTHED GIRL. Just wondering why you are so BITTER against us!
I must say it is good to see a man having so much passion about dark skinned women.
Comment by truth on 30 January 2008:
I would choose a white woman over an african american woman without hesitation. You african-american women are just a big NO for me. Fisrt, it is your english. damn. I hate your english then it is your stinking dirty attitudes, You really need to learn a thing or two from african women. Why do you think that many african american men are getting tired of you guys.
In africa, african men LOVE black african women. African men evem prefer them to any other race. But an african man will never think of marrying an african-american woman. May be you need to go to africa and see why I call these women beautiful EUROPEAN MEN LOVE AFRICAN W0MEN LIKE CRAZY BUT THEY WILL NEVER EVEN WANNA SMELL AFRICAN-AMERICAN FEMALES. I dislike you african-american women. To all my white folks here, if you really wanna date a pure black beauty head top Africa. They have the finest women in the world and they come in differences. AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN ARE IGNORANT SET OF WOMEN
Comment by paula99 on 30 January 2008:
truth get a life!
Comment by geneandthem on 30 January 2008:
Sunshine, this guy is obviously a child. He writes like one and sounds to me like he just got a taste and now thinks it is the GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD! I don’t think he is Thinking before he post. In fact I think that this person might be African! Sounds like this person is just trying to get a rise in here! Not working dude! Any man that truly loves BLACK woman would not say some s%@t like you have! He calls “African woman the most Beautiful set of woman”" ????????WTF???? Set? As in Two right! You see hes not American you can see it in his writing so like I said brush this fool off! Black?? Fool,,, Black! There are Black Africans, Black African Americans, Black Dominicans, Black Haitians, Black Brazilians, Black Venezuelans, Black Mexicans, Black Colombians, Black all around the world for you to segregate one iS very racial and like I said before it means you really don’t love black Woman! This is just a fad to you so Kick rocks Dumb a$$!
Comment by truth on 30 January 2008:
geneandthem
You just revealed why I am turned off by foul mouthed creatures like you who call yourselves african-americam women. No wonder, the black american men are begining to marry more asians, and whites and latinas. I would choose all these racs over an african-american woman. Some of you are cool But others are loud mouthed ghetto idiots. All those black demographics of women you mentioned, are far more better than you african-american women. Then there is also the english part, Gosh I hate your dirty cracked down english. I see why black men would choose another race to african-american women.
and as I said, if you wanna see pure real beauty, head down to africa . women from ethopia,south africa,ghana,angola, senegal etc etc Those are the finest creatures of women. That is why whn I feel in an application, and I see black, I don’t mark it but I mark other. I want people to see me as A PROUD AFRICAN AND NOT BLACK OR AFRICAN-AMERICA.
Comment by truth on 30 January 2008:
I thanks the almighty that I was born and raised in africa. I AM A PROUD AFRICAN. Just came to this country of Immigrants (USA) to finish my education after that, I am taking my a$$ back to my beloved africa. Why do you think african and african-americans, never marry each other. An african man will either get married to an african woman or a white woman. We don’t look at african-american women. we can just fuck them but when it comes to marriage we don’t even smell them. As for the african women, they will choose to get married to an african man, or a white man. african-americans are the most ignorant people on earth. I have seen many african-americans settling back to africa. WE DON’T NEED YOU AFRICAN-AMERICAN IN AFRICA. REMAIN IN YOUR USA AND DON’T TRY TO MOVE TO AFRICA. WE DON’T LIKE YOU GUYS ESPECIALLY THE FOUL MOUTHED GHETTO BLACK AMERICAN WOMEN.
Comment by truth on 30 January 2008:
To conclude, of course I am an african and I believe there should be a great distinction when filling out an application. i.e,
White
African-american
African
Hispanic
Asian etc, etc
I hate to be classified in thesame group with african-americans. That is why, evrytime I fill in an applications, I include African at the end of the list. we are different sets of humans.
Just so you know, we africans don’t appreciate you calling yourselves AFRICAN-americans. You are not africans and shall never be. Why don’t you call yourselves BLACK -americans.
I would pick a white woman over any of these so-called african-american women. anhyways the most beautiful women come from africa and I will make sure I marry my AFRICAN-QUEEN. (note, I never said black but my beautiful african woman). You african-american women arE never gonna get married LOOOOOOL
Comment by truth on 30 January 2008:
ignore the vocab I am 2 lazy to proof read
Comment by Sunshine on 31 January 2008:
Truth,
I am surprised any African women or white women would be with you! You have a very ugly attitude! As far as I am concerned your AFRICAN-QUEEN’S can have you. Although I doubt they even find your personality attractive.
Comment by geneandthem on 31 January 2008:
HEY STUPID!!! READ THE BLOG!!! “”"Why white men love the black woman”"”" You stupid idiot! You see you talk about African Americans going to your country and you don’t want them there?? You see how stupid you are? You are like a little kid “don’t come to my country because we don’t want you to but I Will go to your country to better myself and go back home??? You know how Hypocritical that makes you look? How old are you dude? DO you even get a$$? I tell you one thing i know for sure! You could not sit up in a public place and talk that shit your talking right now! You would get beat down! I work with a TON of African woman and men! Kenyan, Zimbabwean, South African, Nigerian, Zambian, and I tell you what I have never heard any of them talk this crap you say here, from the safety of your house that is!! You know who you are the quiet little, excuse me was I in the way Bi#$%! I have never heard such a racist, disrespectful, full of them self piece of sH@% like you! Like I said Vent now because tomorrow when you get to work or school,,, time to shut your mouth again and bow down like you do every day! Your not white, nor are you a black woman! GO find a different post! And hey BITCH!! I am a White Man!!!! “”"
geneandthem
You just revealed why I am turned off by foul mouthed creatures like you who call yourselves african-americam women.
“”"
I have dated woman from everywhere and it all comes down to if you are a good person! It has nothing to do with where you are from! There are shady, shitty, shiesty, Africans, just the same as African American, Mexican, or white! Your sitting here trying to put a bunch of bull on a entire race of people! You are worse then the KKK dude! You need to grow up! Take some classes! Hang out more often! And get out of your sick little circle and live a little! And stop being a hypocrite it makes you look very stupid! You see its people like you who Karma find!! Now its getting late time for you to simmer down, because you need to get back to being quite and nice make that front real good for everyone at work and school tomorrow! Don’t try and get brave and get your a$$ kicked just be like,, you know,, how you have always been since you got to OUR country! Quite, and respectable!!
You know the one thing i hate is a racist! I cant stand it! It has no place in our world! All it does is show ignorance! Why cant people be more open? Why cant this stupid idiot just dislike the people that have crossed him? Got to hate everyone and for what? If it was not for country’s like ours you would never have anything! And you cant even apreciate that! You come over here and take and all you can do is down talk our people and our culture! IT doesnt make sence! I feel sorry for you!
Comment by truth on 31 January 2008:
gebeandthem YWAN with your little carricature dick
LOOOOOOOL
Comment by truth on 31 January 2008:
The fact is that I don’t like BLACK-american women. Love it or hate it
and to the white dude, you are not african so shut the fuck up. You cannot understand LOOOOOL
Comment by truth on 31 January 2008:
Now that Africa is developing, these BLACK-americans are heading down to africa. Some places are 100 times more beautiful than your fucken USA. Go to countries like Namibia, south africa, senegal, angola etc etc. I can go on and on and on. The stupic BLACK-americans think we live like savages stupic people LOOOOOOL
Comment by truth on 31 January 2008:
This is my last comment . You guys can continue. I know I have scared some stupid black-americans away including those little dickheads of caucasians
Comment by paula99 on 31 January 2008:
truth listen to this this should bust your bubble idiot thats why i do not care to much for american men. i hate to say it but some of you make it lame for others. but … anywho. my greatgrandfather is from ghana. i still have my original last name from africa. duh! my grandmother on my mother side was full cherokee… now what does that make me a african living in america. let me give you a history lesson. apparently you do not know much about america or africa. it shows in your insidious statement. no one is one thing. during the middle passages we was bought here from africa. so they are still my ancestors. so you say african -american to say what. dude? look at the history channel or something.no not all black americans think africans live like savages. stop being so narrow minded it sounds like you have some mad issues mate, you cant help it , someone taught you wrong. about people of color. that goes back to stereotyping. sounds like to me.
Comment by armygirl on 31 January 2008:
Truth
I guess its true, ignorance is bliss.
Comment by paula on 31 January 2008:
Hey Tall girl VA
I like what you have to say. I feel the exact same way. I have 3 white male friends that I have met (one on this site) that tells me that if we were together I wouldnt have to work if I was actually with them. two are not from this state, the other is out of my age range. (Im an independent woman with my own house car and money so I would never except that)I havent met ONE black man that would even come close to that, most of them want me, but they want me for my money and they step back when the bill comes or when its time to pay for the movie tickets. Dont get me wrong Im not looking for a meal ticket. Im looking for a man to grown with me, not try to get what I got. I even had a black man tell me that the only man that would meet my standards would be a white man. That truly hurt me to know that our so call proud black brothers cant meet our needs and know that. Dont get me wrong, I love my black brothers, but if they cant meet my needs this sista has gotta roll out. Talk to me sista with ambitions.
Comment by Lauren on 31 January 2008:
For those of you who were called ‘oreo’s because you always spoke proper English and are well educated, I always wonder what kind of people they were. And what type of communities these ‘name callers’ were in.
I too always spoke proper English and am well educated. No one ever told me I was an ‘oreo’. Pretty much all the blacks I was around spoke the same way I did. There were some blacks who might not speak the best English, but far, far more blacks I knew spoke (and continue to speak) the King’s English language.
Also the fake hair/nails being a part of ‘hood life’ is a bit of a misnomer now. Oprah used to wear fake nails and she currently wears a weave. I certainly do not think Anyone would consider her a ‘hood rat’. Black (and white/hispanic) women today may sometimes wear hair extensions to give their hair a rest or to have more style options.
If all the black men you know only want hood rats who have extremely big behinds and are weave/fake hair mavens, I really feel sorry that you have not met a better class of men. I too am attracted to white men; but I sure do know some educated black men who are in the medical, law, education, etc. career fields.
I do wish you well though with your current dating choices.
Comment by tatted2death on 31 January 2008:
everyone basically seeks their own level….not necessarily their own kind. There is something to be said for the “contrast” yet what it boils down to is shared interests and the capacity grow with the person that is in you life as a partner. Sadly, most men(generally speaking) don’t seem to want that anymore. The set of values that includes looking out for your partner and giving a 150% is not commonplace anymore. Why anyone “loves” anyone else is a dead issue if people just can’t get back to the basics.
Comment by nocolor on 31 January 2008:
Truth if you realy are the truth then you would know that truth is spoken in love and kindness; your very first comment in response to Ashly (gentlemenandthem) you were getting on him for cussing. Somehow you missed your reflection. If I am correct African-American women would have had to start in Africa. Just to let you know there are many African-American women who have used the mirror (reversed what you have said about African/American women and sued them on African women) they can also be rude and brass and lack the use of deodorant (African-American women love to smell good and love fragences. But hey all of us can smell funky on a good/bad day. But I agree w/most why are you here in America if it is so bad. Oh yeah last time I checked Africans from the east to west, north to south y’all are still fighting our civil wars have been over from 40 years to hundreds of years ago. Bottom line God created us all. If you have a different god then ask him what seperates us!!?? If you ask the Almighty as you previously thanked he will tell you the division is not His but ours.
Comment by geneandthem on 31 January 2008:
Truth, its caricature! And you talk about gay??? But you are talking about my package? Are you one of the in the closet type of men? Now you really look gay! And I have been to many places in Africa. In fact I have a place in Ghana? It is Beautiful. And Africa is Beautiful! You only talk talk about Africa but you are here in the US? Go home then hater? Just like there are Beautiful places all around the world. I give props to all the Beautiful places. I’m not closed minded like you! Its sad, one day you will get life on that day, maybe you will live a little better I’m assuming that you are like 18 - 22 from the way you talk! Poor guy! I’m done with you your not worth it back to the REAL blog. Kick rocks!
Comment by geneandthem on 31 January 2008:
Tall girlVA You didn’t offend me!!! Whats up?? Lets chat! lol
Ashley,
Comment by nocolor on 31 January 2008:
To: Tallgirl VA
I don’t get it about the hair thing trust me it ain’t just regulated to men of any nationality. Women get crazy over long hair (of any ethnic background) … haven’t you noticed the blond straight hair pieces in stands at the malls. Everyone is hung up on hair. I guess some folks like to play in it. Who knows just use as it was intended to be used a hair covering long or short. Straight to kinky and everything in between.
Comment by geneandthem on 1 February 2008:
For me I love a woman with all different types of hair styles! I love a woman that can change it up on a daily basis! Long, average, curly, long curly, short curly, short, supper short, big blow out curly! Everything!!!
Comment by Sunshine on 1 February 2008:
geneandthem,
You make me laugh! You are so passionate about everything you talk about. It is very refreshing! Just wanted to let you know. Have a good night!
Comment by geneandthem on 2 February 2008:
Well Sunshine Thank you!! You have a great night and day to!!! Lets chat sometime! What is your profile name??
Ashley,
Comment by deepblue on 8 February 2008:
Before this blog became so sour to read….I was looking for my first white boy friend from grade school. I’m posting blogs and comments anywhere interracial talking comes up. I lived in Dallas, Texas (Oakcliff) at the time and we where in the fourth grade (John H Reagan) when we met. This guy changed my life forever. As far as this article goes…hope to read more from “white guys”, why they love “black gals!”
Comment by geneandthem on 9 February 2008:
truth,, You see how stupid you are? They are not even Posting your comments anymore! You see one thing you need to know about White men that Date interracially, We HATE Racism WIth a passion! So if a african woman feels and thinks anything like you then we would never date a African woman! I booted my EX (she was from Zimbabwe) because she thinks like you! We all have to stand before GOD one day! On that day I feel Sorry for you my friend! I hope that your family, Or mother knows nothing of your thoughts or what you say here. Because she would be ashamed of her son. I feel sorry for her more then anything! See you at the gates of heaven to bad you won’t be joining us!
Ashley,
Comment by healthnut on 13 February 2008:
I am a 30 yr old, black woman who dated black men exclusively up until age 22. After my divorce I decided to expand my options and date outside my race. I know in my heart that was one of the best decisions that I have ever made in my life. I find that I connect on deeper levels than just physical with white men. Intelligent conversations and new experiences are what I love and this is just something that the black men that I dated were lacking. Of course there are intelligent black men out there (not dissing the brothas) just saying from my experiences, they were too narrow minded for me. Speaking solely about attraction, the white men have my attention. The different colored eyes, hair texture and light skin I adore. They have sexy legs also
The white men that I’ve dated were much, much more affectionate and considerate. The communication was better. They are more into the arts, global events, financial planning, marriage. More of them like cats than black men, sushi too…. Need I say more ?
Comment by CaribPrinces on 13 February 2008:
I am so tired of this BLACK/WHITE division in this conversation. It seems to only revolve around the African-American race for Black-Americans living in America versus the white race and how they accept or see them. We (us from the Caribbean and/Or Cuba or other black/dark skinned people who are not African-Americans are sick and TIRED of this issue and only the African-American response to this issue.
Not EVERY black person is African-American!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you African-Americans or white people or others ever think of that?? Your history and POINT OF REFERENCE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS who consider themselves BLACK.
Also, Interracial couples are received DIFFERENTLY in many different countries. In AMERICA it may be a different story from in London or Paris or Italy or other places in the world. WHY DON’T WE STOP BEING SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CLOSED MINDED IN THIS STUPID CONVERSATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY Person has a different experience. I may be BLACK but do not see things as a black person in Aamerica regarding racial relations in relationships. I may be white and may see race relationships different as well if I am from France, Italy, Russia or any other country for that matter!!!
Everyone here sounds so ignorant and stupid in regards to the issue of black and white relations. I AM COMING FORM A MORE GLOBAL AND INTERNATIONAL PERSPECTIVE which seems to be more of an intellectual and educated view.
PS…..We all need to read more…..learn more and be more educated….it is never too late to learn….
Comment by healthnut on 13 February 2008:
geneandthem, keep posting I like your comments the most
Comment by trailrider5 on 14 February 2008:
geneandthem, you’re a man after my own heart. Love your passion. Your comments are deep.
Comment by packer083 on 15 February 2008:
hey i am brandon form wisconsin i am a white man who is naturally more attarated to the blakc women it is not cause we want to be marry anyone it is just who we are we think like everyone else when it comes to math and things like that so i am kinda tried that people say that it is wrong for us to do that i know our parents might not accept that but we live in a totally differnet world then 30 or 40 years ago people died allow us to be free there are troops in irag dying right now so that we can be free so you cna say whatever you want because that is the beauty of freedom of speech so we just love black women some of us and that is that period end of decusssion this is just my saying you can say watever this is my imput.
Comment by rparker on 15 February 2008:
I am attracted to white men because of their simplistic style, gentleness, kindness, and peacefulness. They are drama-free.
Comment by Sunshine on 16 February 2008:
I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s day. I think it’s great we can share all our thoughts with one another.
geneandthem and CaribPrinces are my favorites to read.
I wrote earlier you guys, that only white men approach me. Black men approach me but they don’t go beyond their physical attraction for me. Do you two have any thoughts?(geneandthem & CaribPrinces)
Sunshine
Comment by packer083 on 16 February 2008:
hey sunshine i know you ask for those other two to repeponed but i just want to answer i dont know if this is true about other pole buti believe that you need tog etot ko the person mentally before phsically it is mucheasier to contact someone that way
Comment by LILMAMA on 16 February 2008:
NUTHING WRONG WITH THAT AT ALL I WILL DATE A WHITE MEN IN A MIN BUT HE HAVE 2 DRESS BLACK AND ACT IT
Comment by geneandthem on 17 February 2008:
Well I can offer my opinion, but I think packero83 answered it perfectly for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean “tog etot ko” That must have answered your question completely right?!? Ok first off My V-Day Sucked! I worked, and was solo for the night!
How was yours? Ok so my thoughts are this! I know in the same situation for me, I don’t personally put enough effort into communicating with a white girl like I would a black girl? Weird right? Ok I mean if I were to be approached by a Black woman, I would be hyped, Excited, I would pull out all the stops! If I was approached by I white girl I would not be as into it so it wouldn’t go anywhere! SO really I think that it can go anyway you want it to. But you will hit it off with the person that suites you the best, or intrigues you the most! In my case it would be a black woman over a white girl, and for you a white man over a black man! SO we can only blame ourselves! Did any of what I said make sense? Well it did to me! Lol! Just remember one thing Sunshine tog etot ko and you should be fine?
Ashley,
Comment by cocobaker813 on 17 February 2008:
I guess it may be too late to answer Liberatedwoman in her questioning me if any of the men I dated ever asked to marry me. As a matter of fact, I did talk marriage with one or two of the men I dated, but it never happened. For the most part, I am really quite glad I didn’t marry. Did I prove a point to you or something?
Ashley(geneandthem), you sound like a real fun date. I’m a professional baker and maybe if you’re in the NJ area, we can swap some recipes. You really are a fun poster, and
Comment by ambrozia on 17 February 2008:
I have just stumbled across this site and absolutely love it. As I was reading some of the comments, I called my best friend and told her about the site. We are both black females who date white men. We met over 20 years ago, when we both lived in NY, through her greataunt, my then co-worker. She lived in Brooklyn and I lived in Manhattan. I moved to NC, with my job and she moved to NJ. We stay in contact and visit each other. She is excited about visiting this site also. This really is one cool site. It is what I have been searching for.
Comment by virgo66 on 17 February 2008:
Hi Ambrozia;
I’m also a black female ny/nj transplant who lives in nc & I date white men. This site is interesting & fun & I’ve made many friends but 1 possible deep connection. I wish you luck & all of the sistas out there looking to ‘connect’.
We should all start a club!
Comment by virgo66 on 17 February 2008:
I’ve read a lot of comments on this blog. Some sweet, some sexy, some racist & some..just down right dumb! You love who you love & that’s it! ONLY YOU are in charge of your life & destiny! People will comment(when not asked) but, screw em’! Do your thing & love & live life & others!
For all those HATERS out there…we all know you’re damaged, sad & hurting…good luck to you! For the foreigners w/racists opinions…you should be grateful you you were allowed to enter this country!
If you were that brilliant, you would have figured out a way to get rich, famous & educated in your own countries!!! Your hate & venom is an exact example of why our world is war-torn, disease ridden & corrupt! You don’t make an entire race of people suffer for the actions of a few!
Comment by geneandthem on 17 February 2008:
cocobaker813 AND WHAT? YOU SAID AND,,, THAT WAS SUSPENSEFUL! But yes we can swap Recipes! Hit me up we will go from there! And thanks for the compliments! Its strange I have been getting some props in here but I never really get any response’s from anyone here in Dallas! Or Texas. Anyways thanks!
Ashley,
Comment by geneandthem on 17 February 2008:
virgo66 your last post was PERFECT!!!!!! WOW!!!
Ashley,
Comment by LILMAMA on 17 February 2008:
i will marry me a white man off top who will love me 4 me and i love him 4 him alwayz
Comment by virgo66 on 18 February 2008:
Thank you geneandthem. I just believe there’s already too much bs in the world. You love who you love & you have chemistry with who you have chemistry & that’s no ones damn business but you, that person & God! PERIOD! END OF STORY! Now…everyone to a neutral corner & come out lovin’!!
Comment by LoTSoFaMaZiNG-NeSS on 18 February 2008:
I have been married to a darker-skinned African American female for 9 months now. But what made me fall in love w/ her wasn’t curves, tall height, or anything else that was sexual.
It was her drop-dead amazing smile adventurous, kind-hearted, & energetic persona, along w/ her smarts & unique wierd style.
She was PERFECT for me. God TRUELY prepared her for me.
All of the African American men REALLY screwed up when they passed her by, but I am glad they did.
Thank God.
Comment by Sunshine on 18 February 2008:
Thanks packero83 & geneandthem. I appreciate the comments.
geneandthem, I’m sorry your Valentine’s day sucked. There are enough females on this blog that are feelin you! That should make up for the sucky day!
LoTSoFaMaZiNG-NeSS, how sweet are you! I am so glad you found the love of your life. You sound like you adore her. Remember, God prepared you for her as well. Put him first, and your marriage will be blessed!
Sunshine
Comment by foxfuzzy on 18 February 2008:
I agree with the general opinion. Virgo66, that was an excellent post! It puts everything that was said on this topic into perspective. We needed that…
Geneandthem, sorry your Valentine’s day was bad. Its a day for lovers and if you don’t have one at the moment, you do feel kinda left out.
LoTSoFaMaZiNG-NeSS, congratulations! You sound very happy and I wish you and your new wife the very best in the future!
Comment by deepblue on 18 February 2008:
Hey Ashley, if you are from Texas (Dallas), maybe we can double date. You should get some chicks in here;p. I’m in Dallas and married 11 years to my white hubby and loving it everyday!!! We got kiddos so when we can we party like rock stars downtown or Addison.
BTW…everyone love the positive comments and just keep them going!!! Have a great day!
Comment by ambrozia on 18 February 2008:
Thanks for the warm welcome virgo66. It is much appreciated.
Comment by geneandthem on 18 February 2008:
foxfuzzy its all good! I didn’t feel left out at all! I have had some Great V-days so they have more then made up for it! Besides its nice to have a break from time to time!
deepblue that would be great but, I need to find a date first!! lol
Ashley,
Comment by Jenny on 19 February 2008:
I would like to take the time to thank ***blackcentury.com*** for the wonderful service they have provided. I met my husband through the site 1 year ago, we were two people of different cultures and countries. Yet, because of this great website we were brought together after finding love. Maybe you will love it.
Comment by Serfie on 23 February 2008:
I never had a Black girlfriend, but I have always had a deep love and respect for Black women in America.
They are enchanting and regal.
They come from the stock of the mothers of our civilization. They literally built America with their blood, sweat and tears. I acknowledge and appreciate them for sustaining humanity and American civilization.
They are a spiritual anchor for all American people.
I love Black Women. They move me; they touch me; they inspire me to be a better man and a better American.
Comment by Serfie on 23 February 2008:
I never had a Black girlfriend, but I have always had a deep love and respect for Black Women in America.
They are enchanting and regal.
They come from the stock of the mothers of our civilization. They literally built America with their blood, sweat and tears. I acknowledge and appreciate them for sustaining humanity and American civilization.
They are a spiritual and cultural anchor for all American people.
I love Black Women. They move me; they touch me; they inspire me to be a better man and a better American.
Comment by geneandthem on 24 February 2008:
WOW,,,, Serfie great post!!!!!!
Ash,
Comment by packer083 on 29 February 2008:
i love the black women i just love the darker women white women sre to needy for me and i just love the beauty of a blakc women my women is that but it is also cause she loves me for me not cause of money or anything like thaat i love that in a women so i would advice more white men to date balck women they are great and i love it.
Brandon
Comment by Lauren on 29 February 2008:
Good to hear that packer083…good to hear it.
Comment by turnkey on 10 March 2008:
funny enough I really like the personality of most black girls I’ve met but I don’t find black skin aesthetically pleasing. i’ve made friends with them then felt bad when they wanted to go further because they just didn’t turn me on. black girls seem so feminine and comfortable. they make good companions.
maybe i can get over my disability. here’s a way you can help me. i’m sick of hearing about the slavery shit. i’ve studied my family tree nobody in my family had slaves, they were soldiers for generations. i don’t want to hear that the black slavery built my country so i owe you something either, black people are now in the same country.
truth be told blacks took white slaves too, but whites were more advanced so more successful at doing so.
you should stop acting like white people owe you something just because of the colour of our skin. my family never owned slaves and your attitudes offend me as they can only be described as… racist.
i hear these stories about how black mothers tell their black daughters not to date white men and i have to laugh at how… racist it is.
i’m sure nobody will agree with me, it would require too much individual thought. there’s always hope.
Comment by Leo on 10 March 2008:
Anonymous said…
I am a African-American woman, with creole heritage, of 28. I find the above topic very interesting. I myself, am milk chocolate complexion. I am tall, almost 5″10 & slim figured.I modeled for a few years,( Privilege Model & Talent Agency on Sunset Blvd.) When growing up, I would have plenty of black men tell me, I was beautiful… but too thin. I was open to date all races when I was younger. In the majority of black communities, if a black woman wasn’t built like Beyonce or Trina ,she was rejected. I had boyfriends tell me, I didn’t have enough butt or hips.
Well, for the majority of high school years I attended schools with different races. And guess what? I attracted, Persians,Asians,Germans,Italians, French, Dutch,Indians, plenty of Jewish men.. the list goes on and on. I would go out to a club & every guy that approached me was never Black. Also, I noticed I also attracted White women. They would approach me and say, ” Your gorgeous, do you model”, etc. I found myself having a lot more different raced girl friendships.
I have meet other Black women, who are gorgeous, but since they fit the more Naomi Campbell bill… they attract white or other raced men. I am now married to a German Physician. My BF, is a tall beautiful Black woman, is married to a very successful Jewish man.
My husband has dated other races before me. However, his preference is Black women. But, he’s not attracted to the Beyonce or Trina’s type.. because in his opinion… they look chunky or fat. He informed me most successful, corporate White men who date Black woman.. want a Black woman who is beautiful , but has a UNIVERSAL beauty like Naomi Campbell. Because, she is not a BLACK model… She is a gorgeous SUPERMODEL that men of ALL races given the chance would date. That is the type of beauty all women strive to have. Inside & out.
With all that said, All our friends are in relationships or married to different races. I could care less if All the Black men in America date White women. Hey! More power to them. That just leaves, more successful, caring & responsible white or other race men out there for Black women
Bottom Line, Remember, who cares about color!!
The person you choose should emotionally & physically stimulate YOU. Screw everyone else!
I’m pregnant now.. and I can’t wait to raise my bi-racial child into a responsible adult. I’m sure Dr. Martin Luther King would be proud. Black & White people hand in hand
Comment by tatted2death on 10 March 2008:
That being said (by Leo/Anonymous)…. I am sure for every man (of any race) that would NOT date a Beyonce or Trina-type (speaking solely on the physical level) there are about 5 to 10 others standing right behind waiting to take his place
….AND as for turnkey…..I know nothing about you but I actually tend to agree that too much focus is placed on the racial misdeeds of white people. One of my sayings has always been “Get your own house in order”. Within the so-called black race there is so much in-fighting over idiotic things like hair type and skin color that it’s hard to know who is really in your corner. How can anyone dwell on what a white person might have done decades/centuries ago when someone “of your own kind” would do you in quicker than you can blink an eye?? All of the back-biting needs to stop. And I think any mother, regardless of race, telling their child to only date a certain race is only handicap that child for life…..period
Comment by Grotty on 11 March 2008:
White men are dating black women because their own women are chasing black men,white women don’t need their men anymore as they earn their own money,they want sex and the type that white men can’t provide,let’s face it,black men are more confident and far better looking than white men, and not to mention the obvious and white women are lustful animals and know black men can give them what they want,so white men have to go elsewhere,Because white men usually earn more than black men they can attract the attention of black women,it’s not for their looks,because white men can never measure up to what black women are used to,but their wealth can compensate for their lack of attractiveness or bedroom performance,but a white man who doesn’t have much money or prospects doesn’t stand a chance and usually remain single for life,I am attracted to black women,but have little to offer them,if only I was black,then I’d be spoilt for choice.
Comment by geneandthem on 12 March 2008:
Grotty!!!!!!
Your a Idiot!! That is just plain out BS!! Where do you live Man? Talk about the Sticks? Maybe in a 1 mile radius around you and several other 1 mile radius around the world! Come on!!!! You don’t even believe what you just said do you? You were probably laughing when you wrote that crap! I could care less what my “WHITE WOMAN” Are doing! Not even interested! And if you were really interested in black woman first off you would never come here with that crazy Racist Comment! And yes it was and not only racist it was absolutely Ridiculous! Get off your PC, Get up from in front of the TV!! Shave your face up! Fix your hair! And get out in the streets! That’s just some couch potato Game right there! Just because you cant talk to woman and you are shy or what ever is wrong with you! Don’t play this stupid comment like it is the way it is! I only date black woman I would never say some crap like ” I like black girls but my bedroom skills suck, and I don’t have anything to offer them” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I WANT A BLACK WOMAN SO I GO AND GET ONE PERIOD!!!!! You act like there is a different Criteria for getting a black woman over a white woman! Just like Currency it all spends the same way!!! Its not like you can use your money at Taco bell but not at KFC! Catching a woman’s eye is the same way! If the woman likes you and feels you then its on and if she does not Its not on! I mean this is not rocket science! You need some pills and some self confidence I am surprised you can get any woman at all with that BS pity! White, Black , Purple or green! And if your Bunk in the Bedroom! Work on it! if you suck physically with a white woman then you will suck with a black woman the same just as any other woman regardless of any color! DUDE you got problems!!!! I would never say anything like this in a blog and I am not Cocky!! Im White, and I have Major Skills in the Bedroom!!! And I know this!! And not becasue I am white or non black! Just because I strive to please my partner! ANd there are many other WHite men just the same! Some men suck in bed just like some woman do! Some woman are Great in bed just like some men are! It has nothing to do with COLOR!!! WOW!! Your a pop tart!
Ashley,
Comment by trailrider5 on 12 March 2008:
LOL! @geneandthem, but you are right on so many levels. Your confidence will take you a long ways. And to Grotty, you should think more of yourself and not put yourself down so much. That will come across to anyone that you encounter and are interested in. Stop beating yourself up so much.
Comment by packer083 on 12 March 2008:
yes i agree i have had many white girlfriend but also amny more black girlfriend my current girl is balck adn have not had a wiht girl in 5 years. I dont really make a lot of money i dont know if it is cause i am good looking as some would say but i believe that you are who you are people have told me i am good in bed but i dont think that it should matter.also i am only 18 and i have found that black women are just more beautyful and great.
Comment by alpha96 on 14 March 2008:
I’ in the unenviable posiion of simply loving women, every one of’em on his blessed planet period. Size, shape, color have skip to do with anything - I love feminine shape, smell, mannerisms, strengths,weakenesses. Uh-huh. Man-whore. LOL. Not really, but there are days I wish I wuz
Wish the world was ruled by women so we could put a halt to all this fighting, which is effectively bunch a little boyz waving their d**s at each other and saying mines bigger’n yours, andhere’s mytanks & bon\mbs to prove it. Goofy.
Chix rule - ANY color. Um…except chartreuse. No woman should be a sickly shade of green, Jack
Comment by Grotty on 16 March 2008:
Ashley, I can only guess you’re a typical American twit who’s very small minded and doesn’t know what is racist and what isn’t,but as this an American site I knew my comment would attract an idiot like you,You know about me so can’t comment what I do or how I live my life,we have a saying in Britain put your brain into gear before you open your mouth,and clearly you don’t do that,but I suspect you were drawing on your own life experiences and were infact talking about yourself.I don’t know what you’re talking about,but I think you have issues that need looking into,I was only saying why I think people of different colours and cultures are mixing,all you had to do was comment on what I wrote and not leave your small minded and hateful response.Get a life you sado.
Comment by geneandthem on 16 March 2008:
Grotty,
Read what you said in your first post and tell me that wasn’t Racist! You are saying A WHITE MAN cant provide a certain type of sex?? ANd a black man can? That’s segregation! And that is Racism at its best! Were not talking about segregating smart people and dumb! That would have nothing to do with race! Your saying that Only black men are confident and far better looking than white men! That is Racist! Because that is Bu@$ S#$t! White women are lustful animals?? That is not a opinion! your stating it as a fact! None of what you said would be racist if you said some men, or some woman, now you see that is not segregating a race! Your also saying that Black woman are only out for money? Why not some woman, White and Black are out for only money! Now you talk s**t about americans? Look how that makes you look to all these other people? I’m small minded but you the one with the CLOSED minded post! WOW!! And you need to obey and follow your own “SAYING”!! “put your brain into gear before you open your mouth” and think about what you write before you post it! Well sorry I don’t have anything bad to say about Britain’s, or any other other international cultures! ! But I do have a problem with Idiots! And you just happen to be one! Can I be like you and say all Britain’s are idiots? No I cant because I will not make a entire culture suffer for your Dumb A$$ remarks! You cant even see yourself can you? You see now your reading what I say and realizing how stupid you are! You are not even worth breaking down! Think about what you say before you say it, it might help you from getting schooled all the time which I’m sure you do! Stay up man! Hope you get all that Crap cleared out of your head!
Ashley,
Comment by Flirty1 on 16 March 2008:
Yeah, Grotty… I gotta agree with Ashley. You sounded depressed when you wrote that. Hopefully this isn’t how you feel all the time. People run away from guys that seem depressed. Take a deep breath and open the windows. Get some fresh air and let the sunshine in. The world isn’t such a bad place. Fake it till you make it. Look and feel your best. And don’t let a few idiot women beat you down. They’re not every woman. There’s someone(s) for everyone. Good luck out there, man.
Comment by ChocolateGenius on 16 March 2008:
geneandthem(Ashley)-
I love your posts! (I might have to come visit Texas lol)
I do believe however, that sometimes it is better to ignore ignorant posters rather than to entertain them.
I think many people have made valid points on this blog and it is quite interesting to see the varied comments.
I do not have a long dating history, as I am only 20 going on 21, but I do find myself gravitating toward WM for various reasons.
And now that I think about it, why do people need “reasons” to date someone outside of their cultural bachground [in the U.S.]? I know the answer, but it is still a shame, seeing as it’s 2008.
Comment by colett on 17 March 2008:
Geneandthem
I kid you not, I nearly pee’d my pants reading your post. You’re f-ing hilarious. I’m definitely a fan of the way you express yourself.
On another note, I guess should comment on the subject of this post. I don’t know why some white men prefer black women nor I do myself the disservice of placing too much importance on this question. I have dated men of different races and cultures, but I would be hypocritical to say that I don’t have a preference, we all do. I think what’s important is not settling and not excluding something that feels right because it doesn’t necessarily look right as per society or your surroundings. When thinking of someone I would like to share my time and possibly my life with, there are so many other determining factors that come to mind, such as education, values, goals, interest, etc,so why focus on race?
Comment by ChocolateGenius on 19 March 2008:
Ditto that- Colett!
Comment by geneandthem on 24 March 2008:
Well thank you to all! But I’m really not trying to be funny or anything! Some of this crap just kills me! Cant really understand it? I try to be open about it I just see holes in it! I mean I do not think I am perfect no where near! But I know I do not second guess my dating preference! Nor do I question it! And I know why I love black woman! And I am sure that men like me love them for the same reasons I do! And not because “MY WHITE WOMAN ARE CHASING BLACK MEN” and not because of a SEX that I CAN OR CANT PROVIDED!!! That is some of the most Ridicules stuff I have heard in my life! I mean really am I crazy??? Or was that just Re-tarted??? Is it me? Please someone break me down? Help me to understand? If I am in the wrong I do not mind being schooled to a new view? And I can most defiantly swallow my pride when I am wrong! Is this the MATRIX? And all this time it has been me in the dark? This is a conspiracy against me and me only? And I am just now finding out about all of this? “”"white men can never measure up to what black women are used to,but their wealth can compensate for their lack of attractiveness or bedroom performance”"”" hahahahah DAMMMM ever time I read that I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone? WHEEEEEEEEWWW! And is it me or was that like the longest run-on sentence you have ever seen in your life? I mean I know that my grammar is not that good! But hey I manage! That whole first post of his never had a period right???
Ashley,
Comment by Zeekster on 25 March 2008:
I think the main reason why alot of white guys like black women so much today is when you grow up where there is a small population of blacks, and you rarely see black people growing up, you tend to think of a black woman as exotic, sort of like a novelty item. The same reason alot of white kids try to act like the typical black kid, with the hip hop clothing and the lingo and all. Just like alot of things in life, the more rare something is the more it is desired. Besides all that, me personally I think black women overall are just sexier than white women. Black women seem to move a certain way, can dance alot better, have nicer bodies, facial features. Just something about the noses and the lucious lips. Yes, I am one of those kids who grew up in a predominantly white are, northern Vermont, and I fell in love with black women at an early age. And I have a black girlfriend, and I am in love with her and want to spend the rest of my life with her…ok, i’m done…have a nice day everybody!!!
Comment by Paja on 27 March 2008:
I enjoyed reading all the comments.
Comment by Revolver on 31 March 2008:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=1S8SyCwg5_E
Here’s a great video about interracial dating.
Comment by KEISHA on 2 April 2008:
WELL JUST BY READING THIS I’VE LEARNED ALOT… AND I’M TWENTY TWO
YEARS OLD AND A WHITE MALEE WANTS TO TAKE ME ON A DATE AND AT FIRST I WAS WOUNDERING WHY? AND HE IS A POLICE OFFICER 2 YEARS OLDER THAN MYSELF…
Comment by métisse on 7 April 2008:
Give me a Chinese; give me a German; give me a Namibian; give me a Sri Lankan; give me a Quechua; give me a Tongan; give me a Yemenite… I don’t care where he comes from, just give me a man. Thank God for all the beautiful colors he created. So much to learn! So much to love and appreciate! Life is beautiful!!
Comment by métisse on 8 April 2008:
Give me a Chinese; give me a German; give me a Namibian; give me a Sri Lankan; give me a Quechua; give me a Tongan; give me a Yemenite… I don’t care where he comes from, just give me a man. Thank God for all the beautiful colors he created. So much to learn! So much to love and appreciate! Life is beautiful!!
Comment by BubLee on 9 April 2008:
“Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?” Posted by James
To be honest…NO. (or visa versa) I hate these types of questions, there loaded. They tend to cause more dissension than unity. Because no matter how someone replies someone out there is gonna have a problem with someones outlook or worse their delivery.
Also…please explain to me how any ‘one’ person can appoint themselves a speaker for an entire race? or sex?
At the end of the day attraction is a personal individual thing. And like it or not attraction at first is physical, noone sees someone at the end of the bar and goes… Damn! isnt that a nice personality. each and every person has their own idea what makes someone attractive. Who cares why someone else likes what they like, I mean isnt that ultimately questioning diversity itself?
Heres a thought though for all of us to consider. If we as individuals, no matter what race we come from, have to ask someone else why their attracted to us. Arn’t we in extension, really asking for some kind confirmation of exceptance of our own belief of how we view ourselves?
I know what I love and I am not going to justify my reasons to someone who wants to find some sort of hidden agenda, as regards to my preferences. Nor do I need approval from the masses to continue loving what I love.
Live and let live and celebrate diversity.
Comment by STASCA on 9 April 2008:
I loved white men from the minute I got out my mother’s womb .I particularly love russian italian german swedish and irsh ..My first love was german and my current husbandis russian .Iwill never be able to sexplain in words “why .” Do I need to ?If there is absolutely nothing wrong with meor him,then there is nothingto explain.It’s not like I have amissing armorhe hasa missing leg .What is hte sonstant need to give anexplanation about the common and understood laws of attraction .
Comment by saleemah01 on 11 April 2008:
I have to be honest and say this (seriously) dating outside of my race thing is still new for me. Although I have dated outside my race in the past, it’s always been with caution. I was always concerned their intentions were purely based on novelty; I have a hard enough time discerning black men’s sincerity when dating.
However, my travels have taught me to be more open minded and embrace the idea. You can’t put attraction or love for that matter, in a box.
Comment by ninjagirl on 11 April 2008:
I am a divorced, 31 year old black woman who has been dating a white man for two months. He is the first white man I have ever dated. The problem is that he is only 24. We talk all of the time and see each other least once a week because we live an hour 1/2 apart. I’ve been a very happy woman lately. However, I decided to look up some websites in regards to interracial dating and came across this one. I was hoping to get some direction as to how to “BE” in this relationship. I know that it will get more serious in the next few weeks or months if I let it, so I have to be sure of any and all actions that I take at this time so that there is no hurt or regrets consume us both. This may not make alot of sense, but all comments are welcome.
Comment by CaribPrinces on 12 April 2008:
Hi again NINJAGIRL!
In my earlier message I meant to say that I fell in love with a 24 year old when I was 30!!Not 40!!
By the way I “wasted” 7 YEARS with this young guy and now I am really pressed biologically for time if I want to have a child. REMEMBER women have a TIME LIMIT on baby making EVEN WITH MODERN TECHNOLOGY ASSISTANCE… so please make the right desision on a man and also how many years you are willing to invest. Men think logically and calculating so why shouldn’t we women….Don’t think with your EMOTIONS only.
You are 31 so still ok….but think carefully about what you want and how to achieve it with the least investment and the most reward…RISK TAKING can be tricky (whether it’s moving to another country, changing a career, choosing a partner, or making a financial investment) and that is what you are considering so think clearly and don’t let your emotions rule you like most of US WOMEN.
CaribPrinces
Comment by CaribPrinces on 12 April 2008:
Hi STASCA!
It seems like you have been in some international relationships! Good for you. I feel it does broaden our horizons and can make us learn more. You are right…there should be no constant need to define the laws of attraction. I guess it’s just mankind’s way of trying to explain everything and why it happens and why there may be challenges.
I believe you have a fresh perspective and you should just keep going with the flow just as you are and you will be very successful!
Love and peace,
CaribPrinces (Germany)
Comment by CaribPrinces on 12 April 2008:
Hi BUBLEE!!
BRAVO!!!
There is a French proverb that says “Les gouts et les couleurs, ca ne se discute pas.”
“One doesn’t discuss taste nor color…it is an individual thing…”
Therefore, I agree with you that it is a matter of preference and if someone challenges my personal preferences then they are challenging the very notion of diversity.
PEACE & LOVE,
CaribPrinces
Comment by yardysmile on 17 April 2008:
I think that, colour shouldnt matter once you find someone who makes you happy and respects you too the fullest then go for it. I prefer a white man because they make me feel more respected and love and in addition they are more romantic and sensitive towards thire womans feelings so. i prefer having a white guy but if i find me a man of my race who brings the right flavour then hell yeh i am going to be iwth him.
Comment by jenny on 18 April 2008:
How/where can I meet a white man? I would love to date/marry one. I don’t like black men at all.
Comment by packer083 on 18 April 2008:
i believe that white men and black women should be allowed to do whatever we wnat this is america i love my county im a white man i love black women and have dated both white and black women but i just am more attaracted to balck women and im 18 sso hey that is just one person opinon everyone can have their own saying on this topic.
brandon
Comment by Miami Mommy on 20 April 2008:
Hello, everyone!
Comment by Miami Mommy on 20 April 2008:
I am a black 28 y/o and married to white man 34. He had to stand up to his mother and brother who were against the interracial relationships. They had chose to not be apart of his life anymore due to the marriage. We are currently in therapy to make our relationship strong enough to stand the test of time. He loves black woman for their traditional up bringing, morals, values, athletic bodies, assertiveness, strength and good freaky sex. We have cute daughter 10 ½ months. I love my husband. We have so much fun and he never has an attitude and shares so much with me. He meets my emotional needs.
Comment by DYME ANGEL26 on 20 April 2008:
I ALWAYZ HAD DAted white men and sum of the brothers can’t stand it THEY Just look @ me like i’m krazzy or sumthing But no matter what I’M going too do me
Comment by DYME ANGEL26 on 20 April 2008:
ANY WHITE MEN LOOKING FOR A GOOD BLACK WOMAN
Comment by packer083 on 20 April 2008:
hey dyme angel26 i am a white guy im i just turned 18 i dont know if im to youinbg or something i know this has nothing to do with this topic but i am looking for a good black women.
Comment by packer083 on 20 April 2008:
hey dyme angel26 i am a white guy im i just turned 18 i dont know if im to youinbg or something i know this has nothing to do with this topic but i am looking for a good black women.
Comment by packer083 on 20 April 2008:
hey dyme angel26 i am a white guy im i just turned 18 i dont know if im to youinbg or something i know this has nothing to do with this topic but i am looking for a good black women.
brandon
Comment by DYME ANGEL26 on 20 April 2008:
hey packer i w3ould love too get too know so hit me up ok
Comment by DYME ANGEL26 on 20 April 2008:
hey packer i would love too get too know u
Comment by packer083 on 20 April 2008:
cool i would love to get to know you i dotn know really how to get your profl;ie up or something i dont use this site that often.
Comment by lora on 21 April 2008:
I would like to get connected to a nice looking white man too.
Comment by Black-n-neva'-goin'-back on 21 April 2008:
One thing I think a lot of people completely forget about is that “black” women are not just “African American” women. I am white and I have an African girlfriend. She lives in America so she is actually more of an African American than are blacks born in America, but I digress.
The thing about African girls is that they completely lack the cultural attributes of African-American girls. So you don’t have to deal with a lot of the ghetto-ness and attitude that people attribute to “black women.” African chicks relate more to white people since that is a more “normal” cultural behavior to them. My girlfriend hates the loud mouth, ghetto BS that she sees African Americans spewing forth all the time. It makes her look bad just because she shares the same skin color as them.
Personally, I think that ghetto crap is hot, and I like all black chicks as long as they are good looking. However, African chicks often have a more exotic look and I can tell you that some of them are smokin’ hot, despite the misconceptions.
I also like the fact that dating black chicks disempowers white women. I love the looks on their faces when they see me with a black girl. Then they wonder what is wrong with them that a nice looking white guy would turn to black women over them. Well I’ll tell you why. Who would want to be with a pasty, stick figure with no back side? Black guys can have the white women, believe me. I certainly don’t want them.
Comment by DYME ANGEL26 on 21 April 2008:
I MEAN YOU HAVE A WAY I CAN CONNECT 2 YOU I HOPE YOU NICE LOOKING
Comment by geneandthem on 21 April 2008:
Hey all. Are there different web sites connected to this blog? If not why dont we all put the screen name that we have on the website so everyone can all be seen?
Comment by DYME ANGEL26 on 22 April 2008:
I HAVE PICTURE OF ME ON YAHOO PACKER
Comment by jd on 24 April 2008:
I have been in love with a beautiful afghan since 10th grade in high school. I have told her time and time again that I would date her no matter what her religion is. I am a white christian but sometimes I sit and think about if I was ever given the chance to date her. She has told me I should convert to muslim but I don’t know if that means she wants me to be muslim so that I can date her or if she is just trying to get me to believe in what she does. I want to ask her why but I don’t know if I should. I will tell you though that when your parents tell you that you should only date your own race, it feels like they are robbing you of your rights to be who you want to be. I had so many chances with black women that I blew off because my family has been so controlling. I know now though that I won’t let another pass by because life is too short and I want to live life to the fullest and I don’t care what people think either.
Comment by lali on 29 April 2008:
To Truth…
I am an intelligent and kind African American woman who is hard-working and successful. I don’t appreciate your negative stereotypes about american black women and African Americans. I was raised in a Christain home and I was not raised to be a racist. You need to understand that you cannot judge people by there race. In every race you have some very good people and some very evil people. Some of the best people I know are a different color that me, and I love them for who they are and not for what society says about them. Remember that we did not come to America by choice and we are a strong people that have rose beyond and are still rising beyond the circumstances. I think that you need to take time to meet some nice African American women and you next to watch the whole series of “Roots”.
Comment by SexyCool&Black on 30 April 2008:
Before you date someone outside of your race be prepared for your familiy, frends, co-workers and strangers to be against it. Make sure the person is worth the fight. You’ll get lots of stares and attention. I’m black and my man is white. He couldn’t believe that I have to wrap my hair every night or have to wear a shower cap or swim cap. So he learned lot about black women through me. I learned alot about the white race also. A white guy who has a relationship with a black women and treats her like a queen for all to see is a strong man!
Comment by LadyNY on 30 April 2008:
I am BLK and love my white bf. He is so secure and feels that the world is his. He doesn’t stress about anything. Things always work out in his favor. He is very fun and exciting- loves trying new things! He shows me lots of attention and emotional support. He treats me with so much respect. I am lucky that in this cold disease infested world I found true love!
Comment by Jay on 2 May 2008:
I’m a whilte man married to a beutiful black woman. I’ll just say that she loves me with a deep intensity that I have never experienced with any white woman. I have known and been with other black women before I married my wife. My experience has been that black women just love more deeply and intensely. They just have something about them in that way that white women have no clue about.
Jay
Comment by Janell on 3 May 2008:
PLEASE COMMENT
This question is for white men who prefer black women.
Does it matter which nationality this black women comes from? or is it the color of her skin that just attracts you? What do you think about dating a brown Hispanic women as oppose to African American Women?
or is their no difference to you?
Comment by LadyNY on 4 May 2008:
My white husband says he’s attracted to Caribbean women. He is not attracted to black American women. It depends on what their type is.
Comment by kevin on 8 May 2008:
I am a white jewish male dating a christian haitian female. We are very much in love and have been together for a few years now. You fall in love with someone because of who they are as a person not what their skin color is. My girlfriend is intelligent,well educated,beautifull and the sweetest and most sincere woman i have ever met. I Love and Cherish her with all my heart and she treats me like a king and I treat her like a queen. I could care less what people may think because in my eyes I have found a woman who would make an amazing wife.
Comment by slyvia on 9 May 2008:
iwant whitemam.
Comment by slyvia on 9 May 2008:
there lovely andnice.
Comment by jaeilah on 9 May 2008:
some of you white folks are not so great either but dont get me wrong im not saying i would pick a back man over a white man without tinking about it some black men are hot and some white men are hot and im a proud african american women whos educated im not a foul mouth so you hknow something some of you guys need to keep your comments to yourself.
Comment by greatunice on 16 May 2008:
i will tell you later
Comment by Nakhasi on 16 May 2008:
i am a “traditional” young woman in some aspects, i was raised in the deep south with grandparents and sunday dinners, i was also exposed to racism and the small minded mentality of alot of white people.
i just never got how these people couldnt see my humanity, they didnt get why i liked morrisey, the cure, the clash and all that and how i could still be “black” how i could have friends from all backgrounds and be black enough.
i have often found myself connecting with the quirky white guy or 2, often starting out in our tastes in music or books or somthing and going from there, but after awhile i said, its not worth it.
the man i am dating now happens to be white and jewish,he is the typical “brooklynite”! and i am a southern girl relocated in NYC. i am having fun just meeting people and i say if you connect with someone who respects you vice versa, thats a wonderful thing, because i find most people, regardless of race seem to be rather selfish. If someone makes you smile at the thought of them and brightens ur day go for it.
Comment by Jericko on 18 May 2008:
I’m a 46 yr. old male from an Native American and Irish back ground, I dated and married a very beautiful black women in 1985, in 87 we had a very beautiful baby girl, when she was 6 months old, her mother was killed by a drunk driver. My daughter is now 21, i have raised her to the very best of my abilties, when i look at her all i can see is my late wife standing there with her beautiful smile and laugh.
I find it hard to believe that in this day and age, we still find it in our hearts to judge…Love shouldn’t have boundries, if you find someone who touch’s your heart, touch there’s in return, regardless of race, the love of your life may only come once, so cherish it. I have yet to replace my wife, but when i do, she will be a beautiful black woman.
Comment by Sweet Beauty on 18 May 2008:
Color doesn’t represent the love the a person has for someone. I am a well educated young lady that has decided to start dating outside of my race. I have been approached by white me in the past but have never to concern it until now. I would one day like to be married and I know that God has someone in store for me and I would not want to miss out on him due to it been simply because of someone’s color.
Comment by too2badboy on 21 May 2008:
I have been attracted to black women since I was 9 years old and spent my summers playing with black families that lived near my grandmother’s home. Since I am 50, that was when it was taboo to mix socially, especially in S. Texas. I never had the nerve to ask a black woman out until I divorced in my mid 40’s. I went out with one black woman and that is all I have dated or married since. Yes, it is physical and I do love the softer skin, the hair, the features but their is more to it. A black woman seems to take life with more humor and have a way of making life more enjoyable. I do not find every black woman attractive and some simply do not attract me. I have dated beautiful black women that I did not date but once, and less attractive ones that I came to think of as beautiful after I got to know them. The initial attraction to me is the blackness ( the darker the better) but once beyond that, it a cultural inner strength and beauty that holds me within that blackness. I see beautiful white women but I have little desire to be with them because I am thoroughly spoiled already beyond redemption and will never again go white. I could not really explain to a black woman why I prefer them over all other women. It is an internalized desire that eludes words and explanation. I simply like what I like. I have met several women from the islands and other hispanic countries and I love the lyrical, musical rhythms of their speech. I also find African women to be totally different from American black women. All these different cultures are fascinating and enjoyable to experience. I have no regrets and have no shame in revealing my preferences to others. If they cannot cope with it, it is their problem; I have accepted who and what my life is centered around.
Comment by HandsomeLustyBlackLad on 23 May 2008:
That’s the trouble with too many black women(ESPECIALLY the fugly ones):they ACTUALLY think they are queens.As for this handsome black 55-year-old(July 6)Canadian lad,I’m into buxom blondes!!!!!!
Comment by CafeAuLait on 23 May 2008:
Tune into my show tonight as I will be discussing “Black Women Finding Love and Contentment Outside of Their Race.” The show address is:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/LifeLoveAndEverythingInBetween
Comment by Rayne on 23 May 2008:
I am in a great relationship with a white man. We do not have any problems with our relationship but others do. And to be frank…. WE DO NOT CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK. We have decided to base our relationship on how WE feel. I am a good Black woman and he is a good white man. We met living across the hall in a apartment complex.
Comment by luckyguy on 24 May 2008:
I just started dating a black woman. We met comparing TVs in a store and the banter just kept going on and on and on. I called her later for a date and she said “I didn’t see this coming.” We talk a lot. She’s very intelligent, very funny, good in her career and has a great deal of independence and spunk. I’m really amazed that this attractive woman even went out with me; I’m average looking and older (maybe 15 years and I’m over 55). But we connect. She just bowled me over. I looked up this site to find out what others have found out, not that it would bother either one of us.
Comment by Rayne on 24 May 2008:
Best of luck to you and her….guy..lol
Comment by melody on 24 May 2008:
All very interesting. After watching two Tyra shows that seem to cast black women as undesirable it is refreshing to see the other side. I am a women of color and I have often wondered why there are so few white men dating black women, interracial dating commonly refers to black men with white women or white men with any race other than black. I have only had one experience of being approached by a white man and though he was fine, he approached me at a bus stop and asked me if I wanted a ride. I don’t take rides from strangers no matter what color they are. Even though this happened over 20 years ago, I have wondered why if he was truly interested he did not get out of the car and approach me like a gentlemen.
For the last 4 years I have lived in a predominately white commumity. This year marked the second anniversary that we celebrated MLK day with a performance at the high school. I am happy to say that the place was packed even though the people of color were few.
The community leaders are proud of the growth toward
understanding and embracing diversity. But since moving from the inner city I have not been approached by any man. The Indian and Asian are with each other, of course white are with white, and the black men are with white women. When I happen to be around a black man at a store or gas station that act as if I am not there pretty much the same for the white men as well.
So where are the white men that are attracted to black women? A black male once told me a white coworker admitted he liked black women but he was afraid to speak to them.
So if you are a white male and are attracted to ebony skin don’t be afraid to speak up, but not from a car, we don’t bit.
Comment by BlaackGirl on 24 May 2008:
Cons to dating a black woman: we can only wash our hair once a week so often times when you try to get close you might get a wif of sweaty hair or if you try to run you fingers thru it your nails might get caked with dirt. But don’t let that scare you off….black woman need love too!!! PS. blk wman use waterless shampoo btwn washes for fresh smelling hair!
Comment by BillinTO on 25 May 2008:
In all fairness I dated a black woman for over a year [I am a white male, mid 30’s] and I actually never noticed her skin color. It was her I really liked we connected vry well, unfortunatley her family [not mine] were at odds with what was going on as I then proposed to her.
We eventually broke up and sometimes feel she was my loss.
Comment by missthang100 on 25 May 2008:
All I have to say about the question in circulation: I am not a white man, so I can not respond why some of them like black women of different countries. I will say that we all have the bad and good in all ethinic backgrounds, that is just pure fact. No race is better than the next. We all are beautiful. Just look past a person’s color and look inside their hearts, observe their behavior patterns, talk with them, listen to them, and then decide if that is the person for you. Love with your eyes closed and your ears opened as wide as they can be so you can get that feeling that tells you “this is right for me.”
Comment by tmyers3 on 26 May 2008:
In response to black-n-neva-goin-back’s statement below in quotes.
Please do not place all black women into one category because truth be told, most of us are not loud, brash, ghetto etc. just as you cannot say Africans relate more to white cultural behavior because you can’t speak for all of them. I don’t know where you’re from but stereotyping against one particular group of people is just as bad as being racist.
“The thing about African girls is that they completely lack the cultural attributes of African-American girls. So you don’t have to deal with a lot of the ghetto-ness and attitude that people attribute to “black women.â€? African chicks relate more to white people since that is a more “normalâ€? cultural behavior to them. My girlfriend hates the loud mouth, ghetto BS that she sees African Americans spewing forth all the time. It makes her look bad just because she shares the same skin color as them.”
Comment by tmyers3 on 26 May 2008:
In response to the message below from HandsomeLustyBlackLad, what’s the trouble with all black women thinking they are queens? We all are queens, even the fugly ones as you say. If it weren’t for you mother being one you wouldn’t be here to profess your affinity for buxom blondes!
Comment by HandsomeLustyBlackLad on 23 May 2008:
That’s the trouble with too many black women(ESPECIALLY the fugly ones):they ACTUALLY think they are queens.As for this handsome black 55-year-old(July 6)Canadian lad,I’m into buxom blondes!!!!!!
Comment by conanld on 26 May 2008:
I am an athletic 56-year old attractive white man, although I appear to look much younger than my actual age. I am a software engineer by trade. I want to focus exclusively on the topic of this thread – why white men are attracted to black women.
More than likely, most of the writers on this forum are much younger than myself, so I can perhaps provide a bit of a different perspective as to why white men are so attracted to black women, because I grew up during an era when dating between white men and black women was strictly taboo and was more than just frowned upon.
Then too, I hope to provide hope and encouragement to white men and black women alike to go out and realize their dreams even though I was never entirely able to do so myself.
I had never even seen a black woman in real life until about 2 years after I had reached puberty. I was probably 13 at the time. We had just moved to Georgia from Washington State, and shortly after that I had my first look at a black woman in real life. I have no way of knowing her real age, but at the time, she looked to me to be a mature woman perhaps in her early 40’s. I will never forget that experience of extreme sexual arousal. It was more intense and unlike any of my prior experiences, and believe me I had plenty of them as all young boys that age do.
For most of my life I have had few opportunities to interact in social settings that would bring me into direct contact with black women. Nevertheless the few black women that I did manage to catch sight of, I always considered to be far more attractive than the masses of white women that I encountered on a daily basis.
For example, I recall attending a friend’s high school graduation, and while I saw only one black girl in the entire class, I considered her to be the most beautiful and sexy of all of the girls.
I was very intrigued by this recurring theme. It seemed to me to be virtually statistically impossible for so relative few black girls and women to constantly register at the top of the attractiveness scale against overwhelming numbers of white girls and women, unless they truly were far more attractive, at least from my own personal perspective of course.
More importantly, I discovered that my physical attraction to black women was far more than something triggered by just a visual experience. While it is true that I am visually attracted to a much higher percentage of black women than I am a comparable percentage of white women, there are nevertheless, black women that I am not visually attracted to, as one would naturally expect. Sometimes though, even visually unappealing black women can excite me beyond that of a visually appealing white woman.
There is something else that draws me to black women, and physical proximity determines when that process kicks in. I don’t know what it is, whether it is chemical in nature (e.g., pheromone related), “animal magnetism�, aural related, “sixth sense� or whatever, but some of the most amazing things have happened to my body whenever I have been in relative close proximity to a black woman. Amazingly enough, some of my most intense experiences have been with black women with whom I do not otherwise find visually appealing!
Whatever the process is that activates and elicits the response in my body, it may involve a massive hormonal dump into my bloodstream, and I experience physical sensations that run the gamut from feelings of mild euphoria, all of the way to almost paralyzing ecstasy.
This experience is more likely to be intense when I sense that a black woman is intentionally “invading� my personal space, or perhaps when she touches me on the arm or leg during a conversation.
However, even innocent unintentional proximity can trigger this response in me. I recall one time I was on a business trip to New York City. I was on a crowded subway, and I just happened to be sitting next to a black women. No body talked or interacted in any social way on this subway, and we all sat in silence.
I was initially mentally preoccupied with a major business problem, when suddenly out of nowhere, my mental focus shifted completely away from what I was doing towards intense feelings of sexual arousal. My attention was immediately drawn to the black women sitting next to me, although I only stole a very quick glance at her.
She stared straight ahead just like all of the other regulars on that subway. I would not describe her as being particularly visually attractive, but nevertheless I just knew that she was the catalyst of those feelings I was experiencing because it had happened so many times before.
Can white women elicit a similar response in me? Yes, but the intensity is always much less intense, and the woman must be more aggressive in her attempts to provoke a reaction in me, such as when she stokes my arm, or caresses my head.
There is one another very interesting facet to my attraction to black women that I would like to mention, and that is the notion of procreation. Whenever I have had sexual relations with white women, in general my fantasies focus mostly on just the sex itself. With black women, it’s different. My sexual fantasies go beyond just the sex, to the more fundamental fantasy of mixing our genetic material for the primary purpose of generating new and more exciting life! I think that this is something that I have wished for more than anything else in my life. Ironically, my wife is sterile, so I have no biological children of my own. A few years back we adopted two baby Chinese girls in order to become parents. They are darling little girls and I love them deeply. Regardless, today there remains a big hole in my heart in this one very specific area.
I had one relationship with black women during my early twenties. It happened at a time when you just did not see white men and black women together. The relationship was unfortunately short-lived due to extreme pressure from family members. Nevertheless, it is the one relationship that I most fondly look back on. Of course the sex was absolutely phenomenal, but this woman really seemed to care for me, and it ripped my heart out to have to break things off with her. I was crazy about her, and she will always remain my favorite as I look back in time. My family threatened to disown me if I stayed with her, so I broke off the relationship. I think that my family might feel differently now in this day and age about me having a relationship with a black woman. Unfortunately for me, it’s too late.
I’ve been married for over 20 years now to a white woman. However, being married has not stopped my yearn for black women. About 4 years ago, I met a black woman in a class I was taking while finishing up my Master’s degree. I have to tell you, I have never been so attracted to a woman in all of my life. She was so incredibly attractive in so many ways. She was beautiful, charming, and intelligent, and best of all, she really seemed to like me too! I felt just like a young man in my twenties again, only much better!
In the end, I did not pursue the relationship outside of the classroom setting, because I was after-all a married man. During the earlier years of my marriage I did have a number of women friends. Over time they all drifted away.
Today, my life is filled with responsibilities – my job is a challenge and is time consuming. My wife travels on business much of the time during the week, so I’m a part time single parent to two girls 5 and 7. I really am a very busy person, but my personal relationships have suffered as a consequence.
I have endeavored to work on rebuilding friendships with women again, even if they remain nothing more than cyber relationships. I miss that experience that I have lost over the years.
Finally, I would like to offer a word of encouragement for all of the white men and black women who want to connect together – to go ahead and reach for your dream. There has never been a better time to do so, so DO IT NOW!
Trust me on this, you do not want to wind up like me, a man who has a lot going for himself, who nevertheless managed to squander his time, and who now finds himself approaching his sunset years, with little hope of realizing his true dreams.
Comment by cherris on 26 May 2008:
Oh, how your words touched my heart. I am a black woman in her late 50’s. I have been pondering the plight of my young, single, black sisters for a while now. And just as I had concluded and you pretty much second it, their answer I believe is in dating outside of their race.
Why are we the black woman and the white man still sitting on the sideline with sneered up noses and letting the black man and white woman have all the fun?â€? Are we so stuck on stupid because we are jealous that they have found what we desire for ourselves? Isn’t it high time we took the shackles off our feet and go get some of that love? If we were having as much fun as it seemed that black man and that white woman we last saw were having we wouldn’t have the time or need to be jealous of them.
I have a 36 year old single, beautiful, doctor daughter and I told her, “You need to stop waiting on a black knight in shinning armor because he just might not be black. I took the liberty and put her profile on an Interracial dating site. She has met a tall, blue eyed gentleman that seems to be smitten by her and she seems to be smitten by him as well. If not an eternal match, at least she and he know they have choices and many of them – there is no shortage in black women or in White, Asians and Hispanics men, etc…
I learned this valuable lesson for myself about 3 years ago and I haven’t looked back since. I met the most wonderful man on an interracial dating site. Though it was not a walk down the aisle kind of relationship it has been wonderful none the less. He has shown me in more ways than one what it is to be respected, honored and treated with gentleness and kindness. He is without a doubt the best man I have ever met. A black man or any man has got to come high or stay at home in order to take that title away from him. I’m game for any who man wants to try with this sexy, attractive, intelligent, Christian middle aged woman.
I thank you again for your words of warning and encouragement to the white men who have and have had a longing and desire for black women and yet have not acted upon their desires, be it for what ever reason there may be. May I paraphrase your words and borrow words from you know who and say to these men, “Just do it.�
I was scanning the net for information regarding the black woman and white man dating and there is very little positive information on here, only the stereotypical stuff you would expect. Thank you again for sharing such positive and encouraging remarks taken straight from your heart and life. I found your words so profound that I would like to include them in an article that I am presently writing and hopefully a book that I am gathering information for. Please contact me regarding permission to use your article.
Comment by conanld on 27 May 2008:
Cherris - Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so glad to hear that you are writing an article and even a book on this topic. What a great idea! We certainly have a need for information in the area of white male/black female relationships.
You are welcome to use anything that I have posted here. As I am sure you can probably imagine, I did have a little bit of trepidation over expressing my feelings from the heart over a public forum. The decision to proceed was an inspirational experience that just came over me, like I was serving a larger purpose.
I didn’t even know if anyone would read my comments on a somewhat inactive thread that originated so long ago. I’m very happy to learn that my effort was not in vain.
The question as to why it is that white men and black women are afraid to get together is an intriguing one. For my part, I wonder if I have to some extent bought into the stereotypical notion that black males are at the top of the dating food chain so to speak, unanimously being the preferred male of choice for women of all races. The media to some extent might be somewhat responsible for advancing this notion, but some of my own personal life experience also partially reflects this same notion.
Many women seem to be very comfortable telling me their inner secrets. Why this is, I do not know. I’ll probably never know why, but so many (white) women tell about their fantasies regarding black men. Others, at dances, in the office, or wherever, have begged me to find a way to set them up with a black man they see on the dance floor, in the office, or at the gym etc.
I’ve even had women that I have never met before (at the fitness center for example), try to engage me in a conversation, by telling me how sexy some black man (that I also do not know) was that just walked by! Seems like a strange way to start a conversion with a stranger, but oh well, I digress.
Now it’s important to recognize that all of these women who have revealed these fantasies to me, are all white women. This is a very important distinction, because on the other hand, some of my other personal experiences do not reinforce that stereotype.
Black women seem to find me quite attractive, even when there are good looking black men around. Well, at least a reasonable number of them seem to at any rate. This does not figure well with my other personal experiences mentioned earlier above.
I suppose that at times I have rationalized away the attraction as an anomaly, thinking that the reason black women find me attractive is because I display a special interest in them that supercedes the interest I display to white women. While there probably is some grain of truth to that notion, the logic seems to fall apart under closer scrutiny. There have been a fair number of white women through the years who have apparently had absolutely no interest in me, despite my showing an interest in them.
In contrast, my social encounters with black women, while being somewhat limited in number, have been most positive and entirely out of proportion to my relative experiences with white women. I’m speaking in general terms here, and certainly there are exceptions to this rule in both cases.
So, what am I to conclude? Two things. First, there is no clear answer as to why white men and black women may be afraid to connect, but looking at things from the perspective of a white male, I can at least envision the possibility that some white men may not feel that they can measure up to the presumably inflated standard of black male sexuality, that is so often promoted by white women.
If black women feel the same way about white men that white women feel about black men, then this fact is probably relatively unknown by the white male population at large. That’s why forums such as this are so important. Communication helps to break down unrealistic stereotypes that interfere with people getting what they really want in their lives.
secondly, what do I think drives my own personal desire for black women? My personal favorite theory is that the attraction across races is an entirely natural process and it probably stems from a biologically driven species survival need. After all, a diverse gene pool is always superior to a homogenous one from a survival perspective.
Comment by Tatiana on 29 May 2008:
interesting thread, i don’t think this is a particularly new phenomenon, just new in the fact that
black women and white men seem more comfortable dating in public.
i wonder is it any harder for the average white man to date a black woman and vice versa, i have heard that it can be, people kind of expect black women to hold it all together, meaning their communities, and black men are often given a pass, they can run out and date who they want and not be held liable for much since they are men.
i just feel like alot of sisters are unnapreciated period, by this society, by black men,by white people by the world in general, our beauty is often overlooked and denied, and our contributions to our community seem to be also.
how do we juggle the paradigm of black loyalty to our race and heritage yet allow ourselves to be loved? that is the real question for the black woman, because not so long ago, and even today you can see things have not changed as much as they should.
love happens, it simply does, between 2 people for whatever reason,this is a beautiful thing, any good woman deserves a good man, white, black, latina, arab asian or otherwise, but few people have as much social weight on their shoulders as the black woman in america.
Comment by Conanld on 29 May 2008:
A number of folks have commented on some of the deep- seated issues that have in the past and even the present, made it difficult for white men and black women in particular, to date outside of their own race.
While I think that it’s important to recognize and understand these issues, at the same time, too much focusing on the past increases the risk of falling prey to those same issues in the future.
So where am I going with this? We must begin to build our optimism ladies and gentlemen, and take on a goal-oriented future perspective. We need to change our attitudes!
We need a paradigm shift, a kind of out of the box type of thinking. This can only be accomplished by focusing on what we want for the future, not by us focusing on the reasons why it could not be done in the past.
I am a great admirer of Helen Keller. If anyone ever had any reason to give up, she did. Nevertheless, she managed to rise above it all.
I will leave off on this particular post with just a few of my favorite Helen Keller quotes:
Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world.
No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.
Comment by CafeAuLait39 on 29 May 2008:
<<<>>>
I totally agree with Conanld. Even though there are definitely cultural differences, we are still people. Dating interracialy does not have to be difficult unless we allow it to be as such. Outside forces can only create division in a relationship between two people who are not strong in the knowledge of themselves.
People are going to hate if they see a white man and a white woman; a Black woman and a Black man; a Latino man and a Latino woman. So, what. Let them hate while you focus on your relationship with whomever you are involved in. Life is too short to worry about what society thinks about your partner. If you can find true love, grab hold to it and do not let it go. How often does true love and contentment really come around?
Comment by Conanld on 30 May 2008:
Reading through some of the postings here, there appears to be at least some black women who feel under appreciated by men. This is so unfortunate, if not downright tragic. I feel compelled to write this blurb because just maybe I can make some small difference here. I have custody of a very important little secret that all of you ladies need to know.
This secret is written inside of the minds of so many like-minded white men such as myself. We very much admire you. Everyone likes to be admired do they not? We are men who think often about women, and we think about black women in particular.
We may not be with you in person for various sundry reasons, because life does have it’s quandaries and tribulations, but we are always there behind the scenes with you in spirit.
How could we not think about and admire you? After all, we are living breathing men with passionate desires, and we know that you just happen to be the most beautiful, charming, and sexy women on the entire planet, even when you yourself may not be aware of this.
I’m an amateur astronomer, and like all astronomers – both amateur and professional alike, we often think about the big picture view of the world and the universe in which we live.
I’ve seen a lot of beautiful things in the night sky through my various astronomical telescopes. Nevertheless it all pales in comparison to your beauty and charm. The whole of the entire external universe cannot hold a candle to you. You are indeed very special.
You are so special in fact, that we so much desire to be with you, we desire to love you, and we desire to see that all of your needs are met, and that you can be all that you can be. We really do wish you to feel good about yourself, because in contrast to the vast desolate overall emptiness of this universe, you are indeed a rare entity, and oh so very precious.
I have attended so called star parties in the past. These events involve a collection of hundreds of amateur astronomers who gather in remote areas for the sole purpose of having the opportunity to observe astronomical objects free of city light pollution.
At one particular event I witnessed a white man and a black woman together enjoying each other’s company and sharing their telescope together. I would not be honest if I were to tell you that I wasn’t just a bit envious. How incredibly romantic it seemed! Wow!
I will close this post with this thought ladies. At any given point in time, you can rest assured that there are men out there somewhere who have noticed you, and who dream about having the opportunity to spend some time, however fleeting, in your presence.
Comment by sm on 30 May 2008:
Hello everyone.
I am a black woman, and I am very new to the whole thing.I can say that I’ve never dated a white man, but for some reason I fine myself attracted to them. I want to be open to them but I don’t know if I’ll get the same response.I sense that some of the white guys are secretly attrated to me, but they seem to be very nervous. Is that a normal thing?
I got on this web site asking why are white men attracted to black women? what makes them want to be with us? A white guy can answer the questions
Comment by Jenipher on 30 May 2008:
I am black (28,haitian) and my husband (34,italian) is white. We worked together for 6 months then started dating. After 3 weeks of dating we had sex and the 1st night he said he wanted to get me pregnant, so we tried for 3 weeks and I got pregnant. He said he was fascinated with black women because of their bodies, style and minds. He said something about white women turn him off. He loves watching his white male part go in and out of my black female part- he says this is an ultimate turn on. He also said he feels powerful by being with me. And sometimes in the beginning he admitted he used to secretly role play during sex like he was the master and I was the slave. He never dated a black woman before me because of negative social pressures, his friends and family. He says he used to meet a lot of good looking black woman but they were ghetto.
Reasons why he said white men don’t date black women:
1.) White men are afraid of all the pressure that comes along with dating black women- from society, family and friends.
2.) White men don’t know which black woman are into white guys- they are scared of rejection.
3.) White men don’t want a black women who didn’t graduate college.
4.) White men don’t want a black women who has multiple BABYDADDIES!
5.) White men like a some black attitude but are scared of a black women who has too much attitude.
6.) White men like black women who are n shape with a nice air style.
7.) White men like a black women who is versatile and he can bring anywhere and know that she will look good, be educated and classy.
8.) White men don’t like gold diggers but they love a trophy wife.
9.) White men do not like a black women who is too dominating and aggressive.
My husband (we got married when our daughter was 6 months old) said he had a crush on me 3 months before he asked me on a date and I didn’t even know it. Like Conanld said my husband wanted to have a mixed child so bad- he thinks they are so beautiful and futuristic. He did not want an all white baby he thinks they look like senior citizens.
What I learned about white men since marriage
1.) They will let you be in control but let them think they are in control.
2.) They listen and respect a woman’s needs better than my ex-black boyfriend.
3.) They have a lot of strategy when it comes to approaching a black women in a romantic way. They can be very subtle.
4.) They really love long hair and very little body fat.
Comment by Lacy Stacy on 30 May 2008:
CONANLD CONANLD CONANLD CONANLD
IF you love and admire black women so much then why are you married to a white woman for 20 years. And does she know how extreme sexual arousel you get by the mere presence of a black women.
CONANLD IS A CON! CONANLD IS A CON!
Comment by Rayne on 30 May 2008:
Jenipher, There appears to be a lot of anger in your post. Some of it, I find offensive to women, black or white. I also find some of it offensive to men, black or white. All white babies do not look like senior citizens. I think that maybe you and your husband have been hurt in previous relationships. Yours being black, and his being white. I truly hope your husband does not speak for all white men, as referenced in numbers 1-9. I also think it is sad that you got pregnant because your husband wanted a trophy “baby”. There are good and bad traits in all races. Afterall, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Comment by TO MARKETING BILL on 30 May 2008:
MARKETING BILL my experience is my experience you can’t tell me it’s off based….no mistakes about it. The guys I’ve dated have out right told me why they like me, I am not the darkest in skin tone,i have in their opinion gorgeous eyes, I am well educated and compensated well for my work. They like what they like,I was treated very kindly. they were the most romantic and considered the ground I walked on; gold, if you paid attention I said it is best to ask the man in person what he likes, I am not judgemental, take the person in front of you for who they are and if youre not sure, ask questions. Our comments will differ based on experience. you nor I can discredit that. For an old guy, I’ll give you this much respect and give this topic a break and wish you bes luck here, atleast I am. Ciao
Comment by Jenipher on 30 May 2008:
So Rayne
How’s your interracial relationship coming along? How long have you been together and what does your hair look like and how much do you weigh?
Comment by serfie on 30 May 2008:
I think how one is brought up really has an affect on how one sees inter-racial relationships.
I am white. However, both of my parents had African-American best friends. So, while growing up, I was around black folks all the time–holidays, birthdays, etc. You could almost say I had black aunties and uncles. These were middle-class people. So when people talk about black people being ghetto, this has no meaning to me.
Seriously, the only negative experience I have had with black folks is the crap that is shown on TV.
My father and paternal grandfather also loved black women even though they were married to white women. I swear, if they were allowed to have posters of Diana Ross on their walls, they would have done it.
It wasn’t until I got to college that I was told I was a racist. Meaning, the white man is evil and inherently racist and all the crap. It kind of freaks you out when your entire universe up until that point was colorblind.
Anyway, my whole life has been: black women are beautiful. With all the crap in this world, this is a very satisfying feeling.
I have never had the opportunity to date black women, but knowing that if the opportunity ever arrives, I feel grateful to my parents for instilling in me values that allows it to be acceptable and healthy.
Comment by conanld on 30 May 2008:
In response to Lacy Stacy:
Since I can unequivocally say that you and I have never met, and therefore by definition you do not personally know me, logic dictates that if anybody is a fraud in this arrangement, it would have to be you not me.
Regarding your last question, I will answer it with a question of my own. Have you kept virtually nothing personal, hidden from any of the people in your life?
If you can honestly answer that question with a yes, then you have earned the right to cast the first stone, but not until the time that day arrives.
Comment by Rayne on 30 May 2008:
Jenipher, in answers to your questions. The relationship is going well….He is not the first white man I have dated. I am not the first black woman he has dated. And I no longer straighten my hair..it is natural. He considers it to be one of my best features. We both feel that we are a blessing to each other in this relationship….It is based on caring and taking the time to get to know each other and growing together. I am not a Tyra Banks, a Halle Berry, or a Monique. He is not a Brad Pitt. It really does not matter.
Comment by conanld on 30 May 2008:
So, what is the implication of your comment, Lacy Stacy? Are you suggesting that I as a married man have no right to comment on a public forum on such important societal issues as interpersonal race relations?
I guess I must have missed the part at the top of the forum page, stating that married people, and especially people married to the same race are not welcome to contribute their personal feelings and opinions here.
Your characterization my participation on this forum is not only inaccurate; it is also intellectually dishonest.
Apparently it never occurred to you that that my real passion for contributing to this forum, is to serve a bigger purpose than myself. Sorry, but I did not give you permission to take that away from me.
CONANLD CONANLD CONANLD CONANLD
IF you love and admire black women so much then why are you married to a white woman for 20 years. And does she know how extreme sexual arousel you get by the mere presence of a black women.
CONANLD IS A CON! CONANLD IS A CON!
Comment by conanld on 30 May 2008:
Ladies, the question has been asked, and you shall receive. They say that a single picture is worth a thousand words, and while I cannot hand you a physical picture, I can however attempt to depict a real life example from the vaults of my own personal life experience.
Date: Circa 2004 - She just arrived today. She is to join a team of several managers presiding over our IT department, where I work as a software developer. She is presently introducing herself to a large gathering of folks in our meeting conference room.
Though the room is crowded, my attention is riveted on her. She has a very dark skinned complexion even for a black woman. She is poised, dressed to kill, articulate, and she is beautiful. She has an uncanny ability to relate to every individual in that room, as if she were speaking to each person individually. She stands out like a 100 million dollar jewel in the jeweler’s shop.
Fast forward a couple of months.
We have an opportunity to work together on a project even though I am not her direct report. It didn’t take long at all before we became very comfortable in each other’s presence.
We shared photos of our children, and even discussed some of our passions. She seemed to be particularly interested in my adoption of two little girls from China, and the fact that while I was a Caucasian, I had nevertheless undertaken the rather daunting task of learning Mandarin Chinese to the extent that I was not so far off from fluency.
It was some time after that, when it happened. I cannot remember precisely what it was that we were discussing at that very moment, but I can tell you that I will never forget what happened to me when she gently but assuredly touched my leg while making a point during a discussion.
My body went into sexual stimulation overload in a nanosecond, like a star on the verge of going supernova. I began to tremble uncontrollably. I made every attempt to gain back some measure of composure but it was all in vain. It seemed that I had to make a special effort just to catch my breath. I was completely caught off guard, and I felt like I was at her mercy right then and there.
Surely she must have noticed what was transpiring with me, but if she did, I also sensed that she must not have been uncomfortable with it in any way.
I only saw her one other time, because a re-organization resulted in her moving with her slice of the department to another facility about 30 miles away.
Fast forward a couple of months again…
…..Taking a quick break from a grueling conference sized meeting, I wandered around looking for the cafeteria. This was my first time ever in this particular building. Suddenly, she sees me and she calls out my name. I go to her, but I am only able to exchange a few quick words before having to rush back to my meeting.
Over the years, did I fantasize over this woman? You bet I did. I am a man, and that is what men do, and I make no apology for it.
Comment by SerenaWilliamsIsHot on 31 May 2008:
White men date black women because of two major reasons in my opinion. #1-natural beauty and #2-black women know how to keep it real. I think black women dont get their due when it comes to the media. Most magazines portray white women as their stereotypical idea of beauty. The tide is finally turning in my opinion. Movies such as “Something New”, “Guess Who”, and the newest James Bond movie with Halle Berry are changing the stereotypical images. The newest trend is white men with black women.
Comment by SerenaWilliamsIsHot on 31 May 2008:
The number one reason why white men love black women in my opinion is because black women are beautiful. The media is really messed up in the fact that they portray a white woman as the ideal look of what perfection is supposed to be. Why arent their more beautiful black women on magazine covers. I would love to see more black women in media. Their is good news though. I see the trend changing. Movies such as “Something New”, “Guess Who”, and the newest James Bond movie with Halle Berry are changing the typical stereotypes. The new trend is white men with black women.
Comment by MochaDream on 31 May 2008:
Conanld-
Thanks for sharing your story; I enjoyed the post. I’m younger, but still; based on some of the stories I heard from my grandmother and older family members I know things were different back in that era. It’s not that the attractions wasn’t there, for the men or women, but due to the overall attitude and mentality of interracial relationships back then, it was in your(generally speaking) best interest to keep it to yourself. I’m sure there were some who chose to follow their heart, or even tried to, but the choice made, or would made have their lives very difficult, so given that time and era, I can understand your position.
Thankfully, things have changed, and will continue to change with time.
My brother and his wife met in highschool in the mid 80’s. I can honestly say that my family was very accepting of her from day one. Oh yeah, sure it was “obvious” she was white…just like it’s obvious that my youngest sister’s skin is lighter than mine, but our attitude was…what did that have to do with anything? Her family, (with the exception of an aunt) did not like it at all. And the word “like” is an understatement. However, my brother and his girlfriend stood their ground, got married, and time went by. Now?…her famliy just loves my brother to pieces..for a little bit more I think they would eat him if they could..lol. Initially, without even making the attempt to know him, their main concern was his skin color, but once they got to know him, they grew to love him.
So, back to what you were saying towards the end..life is too short, and time goes by really fast. Now is the time! Live, and base your actions on what YOU think and feel. Don’t let it be dictated by others. They’ll be out there enjoying life and happiness, while you’re just going through the motions. What purpose does it serve trying to make others happy when you yourself are not?
Love has no physical description or classification, and I’m sure when one is in need of blood, or a life saving transplant; when that doctor notifies them that have the organ they need to continue living…the last thing on their mind is..”what color was the person it came from?” Loving someone should follow the same suit.
Thanks again for sharing your story. You never know you may end up reading it, or whos life may be touched by it.
Comment by conanld on 31 May 2008:
Yes - exactly MochaDream.
There is great satisfaction in knowing that I can and that I must help others to achieve a dream that has personally eluded me.
Knowledge is empowering.
Comment by conanld on 31 May 2008:
Traveling alone has its downside, especially when traveling on business. I am a large boned muscular man, so you can just imagine how much I just love those tiny airplane seats that provide no room whatsoever for my shoulders.
On the aisle side of the seat I am constantly get bumped by passers by. On the window side of the seat I feel like I am intruding on the personal space of my fellow passenger. It is always worse when that passenger happens to be another male, especially a large male.
However, occasionally, these small seats have their advantages. I am happy to report that on one very recent otherwise forlorn airplane trip, I was actually able to enjoy the flight. I was sitting in a aisle seat, and prior to takeoff, a woman and her nearly full grown daughter sat in the two rows to my left, with the daughter taking the farther away window seat.
I was exhausted, and hadn’t had but about 2 hours of sleep over the last 24 hours. Regardless, I did engage in some conversation with the woman beside me, and she told me that she was a true native of Hawaii, and I’m guessing that she had Polynesian ancestry, since she had that lovely mocha complexion to her skin. Nevertheless, I doubt that many men would characterize her as a stereotypical “pretty� woman, myself included.
As I mentioned before, I was terribly tired, and I needed to take a rest while in flight. In order to do so, I had to remove myself from exposure to the aisle as much as possible to avoid getting bumped constantly, so I shifted myself more towards the woman beside me and tried to nap. I felt a bit guilty about it all, but I was hoping that she wouldn’t mind the slight intrusion too much.
To my utter pleasant surprise, she too shifted in my direction. She was reading a book, and could use me as a prop to lean against, and I could doze leaned in her direction a bit. The plane inside was very cold, and perhaps another reason she leaned in my direction was for that little extra heat. I know that I can generate a great deal of heat and can easily stay warm while others are half freezing to death.
After dozing for a long while I became alert, but I did not shift my position and I’ll tell you why. I could see that she was reading a Nora Roberts romance novel.
At this stage, we were close enough that I could actually feel her body warmth and her pulse. Her pulse seemed very rapid, and at times was highly accelerated. I could feel her periodically breathe in slowly and then she would sigh ever so slowly. That book she was reading must have been very good!
To make a long story short, it really got to me, and I just knew that she could sense my in kind responsive rise in respiration. We stayed in that “state� for the last two hours of the flight.
How often can it be said that two people simultaneously enjoy “reading� the very same novel? (Smile)
At the end of the flight, I got off the plane and she remained for the next leg of the flight. I wished her well, and I gave her a wink. She smiled back brightly, and thanked me warmly.
Comment by Lacy Stacy on 31 May 2008:
Conanld
What is your sex life with your wife? I’m not trying to be rude but you seem like such a deep and passionate man! Have you ever had an affair or come close to it??? Do you regret marrying your wife?
Comment by 879Pineapple on 31 May 2008:
Truth,
You’re just up-set because you couldn’t get an AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN if you life depends on it. the problem with you is, your attitude suck and no women white are black want that crap. I believe you want an AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN to married you and give you a Green Card, and none of the would, maybe because you’re ugly as hell. and clear you’re not making good use of the education you’er getting because your spelling suck.
And for the record, I am a Jamican woman and I have alway like white men. I love the different colour eyes, the light skin and those pink lips. I find them to be a lot more fun to be with. And when I’m with a white man, he can’t help himself but to look at me:)(I like that)
Comment by 879Pineapple on 31 May 2008:
Truth,
You’re just up-set because you couldn’t get an AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN if you life depends on it. the problem with you is, your attitude suck and no women white are black want that crap. I believe you want an AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN to married you and give you a Green Card, and none of the would, maybe because you’re ugly as hell. and its clear you’re not making good use of that education you’er getting because your spelling suck.
And for the record, I am a Jamican woman and I have always like white men. I love the different colour eyes, the light skin and those pink lips. I find them to be a lot more fun to be with. And when I’m with a white man, he can’t help himself but to look at me:)(I like that!!!)
Comment by conanld on 1 June 2008:
Being noticed by someone of the opposite sex, certainly is a big factor in the attraction on the receiving side, and it’s the attraction on the sending side that drives the noticing!
Comment by conanld on 1 June 2008:
Speaking of noticing - as a white male noticing all you black ladies that is, see my comments below.
There are a number of pysical attributes that are appealing, but in descending order of importance, and addressing only the top few, here they are.
Number 1 - Skin:
All women of color, including mixed race women the world over, have the most beautiful skin. For me, beautiful skin is the most alluring physical asset a woman can have. Women of color have skin that has a special type of glow and shine to it. It is very difficult to describe in words, but this glow has a very smooth translucent and healthy appearance to it.
Up close and personal, the impact upon a man can be devastating (in a good way of course!). If a woman has truly beautiful skin, then a deficiency in all other physical assets, including but certainly not limited to, being terribly thin or overly obese, can sometimes be overlooked and brushed aside.
For this reason I have been extremely attracted to all sizes and shapes of women of color.
Number 2 - Eyes:
Women of color are more likely to have large eyes, and those eyes are dark, mysterious, penetrating, and most alluring. They are like a window into the soul. If you look at me with those big dark eyes and with more than just a passing glance, then you can be sure that I will be aroused.
Number 3 – (OK - I know you were just waiting for this one so here we go) – Booty or rear end, call it what you will.
Women of color are more likely to have a nice well-shaped and full one, if you know what I mean. We’ve all heard this before – “Watch her walk�. Indeed!
Number 4 -Lips:
I love full lips. I find them quite sexy and alluring. What could possibly be more fun than kissing beautifully shaped full lips?
There you have it
Comment by conanld on 2 June 2008:
Actually, you should be able to answer your own questions, but in order to arrive at the proper truth, you must first ensure that you have suspended any prior conclusion that you have arrived at (if any), and secondly, you must very carefully read my very first post written on May 26th, 2008, especially the last 6 paragraphs.
*** Comment by Lacy Stacy on 31 May 2008: ***
Conanld
What is your sex life with your wife? I’m not trying to be rude but you seem like such a deep and passionate man! Have you ever had an affair or come close to it??? Do you regret marrying your wife?
Comment by conanld on 2 June 2008:
I don’t know if I can post links, but I have found some very good information on YouTube. I see some very positive developments in that regard.
Do a YouTube search on topics such as:
Black Women Dating Outside the Box
Love Without Boundary -
International Relationships
You will be able to find good information on topics relevant to the cause.
Avoid web sites that focus too much on black women resenting black men. That’s not a good reason for dating outside your race anyway.
White men like all people - men and women alike; want to be desired for who they are. They don’t want to feel like they are a consolation prize.
Comment by howdyhokyle on 2 June 2008:
I LI DA BLA WOOMUN CU DEY PUWSSY IS BETTUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Jamaicandolly on 2 June 2008:
I completely agree with Bill
I don’t put people into groups or races, i see everyone as equals. Asking white men why they love black women is like asking why they like women in general, i may be the only one who thinks like this but i believe a women is a women, you are attracted to who attracts you,The colour of your skin is just another feature of the body, such as hair colour or eye colour. Why in this day and age are we still questioning why someone with lighter skin would want someone with a darker skin tone.
I’m sorry if this offends anyone but asking a question like this is as stupid as calling a person of a dark complexion African American. You are an American,you do not call people of light complexion Euro-Americans, which they are, what makes them more American than you.
This is my belief.
Comment by Jamaicandolly on 2 June 2008:
Sorry Woman not Women
spelling error
Comment by conanld on 2 June 2008:
Because the crux of the matter is that it has a lot more to do with communicating than anything else.
You have to look past what might deceptively appear to be the obvious, and recognize that the real goal here is to get people together who heretofore have not taken full advantage of their personal relations opportunities. On this latter point, there is no debate.
The fact this is true indicates that there are uncertainties in people’s minds about their desirability. It’s all about encouragement. That is the real purpose, and anything that might aid that purpose that is also be true, should be communicated.
<<>>.
Comment by soothingsoul77 on 4 June 2008:
i am cuban and black and i love white men too. the problem is, i always catch them looking and sometimes flirting but they act as though they are afraid to ask us out. what’s wrong. one of my co-workers said that “we just don’t know what to say.” i told him, approach up appropriately and ask us out as you would a white woman. not all of us are like the “video hoes”, ignorant, belligerent,materialistic and uneducated. as a matter of fact, the majority of us are the complete opposite.
Comment by soothingsoul77 on 4 June 2008:
i am cuban and black and i love white men too. the problem is, i always catch them looking and sometimes flirting but they act as though they are afraid to ask us out. what’s wrong? one of my co-workers said that “we just don’t know what to say.” i told him, approach up appropriately and ask us out as you would a white woman. not all of us are like the “video hoes”, ignorant, belligerent,materialistic and uneducated. as a matter of fact, the majority of us are the complete opposite.
Comment by UKblackchick on 5 June 2008:
I’d like to thank Conanld’s for his honestly and braveness in talking about his attraction to black women. I think there many white men who feel the same way Conanld does but are unable to express it. I would like to ask Conanld this question: Do you think there is a large or small number of white men married to white women but would really love to be married to a black women instead? The reason I’m asking this is a lot of white men are vocal about their non-attraction to black women and this make black women feel that white men in general are not attracted to us.
Comment by attrayant27 on 5 June 2008:
I am a white man and have always been attracted to black women, for all the same physical reasons that other white men have expressed on here. But I think there is an attraction on a deeper level–maybe even by all races to black people in general–which deserves being talked about. A black woman’s voice is very attractive to me, almost musical. Black people shun being stereotyped in this way for the obvious racist “entertainer” pigeonhole, but to me, it’s the most powerful part of the most powerful thing on the planet: language. To quote the Bible, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and was God.” Music is the universal language, straight from God, and literally, uncorruptable. If you don’t believe me, when’s the last time you heard any music of a hateful nature become popular? Music of deep pain, maybe, but never of hatred. Science can also now prove that every human that walks this planet is related to one black woman–the “mitochondrial Eve”–who lived in Ethiopia around 140,000 years ago. This in no way implies that black people are inferior–as many an ignorant racist has tried to twist–because they were the first race. It doesn’t take a DNA geneticist to tell you that the oldest and longest lived race would be, if anything (big shock…) would be superior, mentally and physcially. All this combines to a deep unspoken power possesed by black women. Not the kind of power that dominates and oppresses, but the kind that unites. Henry Kissinger said that “power is the ultimate aphrodesiac.” (if you’ve ever seen a picture of Henry Kissinger, you know he needed every bit of “power” to get laid, to…hehe). Anyway, that’s my overly intellectual reason why black women are sexy : )
Comment by Flirty1 on 5 June 2008:
It is so upsetting to see women writing about white men who are “afraid” to approach black women or white men that harbor these super secret attractions but were unable to act on them. The fact is, these men aren’t doing anything either because they can’t or don’t want to. And that’s okay. Speculation makes for great conversation in the short run but can quickly become an albatross if it is done for too long. I’d love to hear more about the ways people met their girlfriends/boyfriends/ or husbands/wives.
Comment by conanld on 5 June 2008:
UKblackchick - that is a very good question that you ask. It would be great if someone or some group could do some legitimate research on that.
For my part, I really do not know how many white men who are married to white women who would prefer to be married to a black woman.
It’s not a topic that often comes up in conversation. That might make another good research topic.
I do know however, that I have caught a number of white men noticing the same black woman or women as myself.
This is not an uncommon thing for me to see whenever I am around both white men and black women, usually while in public places like airports, bookstores; that sort of thing.
Also I appreciate your compliment. You are correct that it takes a bit of courage to wear one’s heart on their sleeve on a public forum.
Comment by dipperback on 6 June 2008:
Ok………..lets cut to chase. Fact is, how do you know who you’re attracted to until you meet that person? Who prepares you for the reaction you’re going to have with that person? In this crazy world of politics and gangs and sickness and death, if you find yourself attracted to a beautiful(invisibly speaking)individual and there is physical attraction to fuel it, so be it. One final thought: the love between a man and woman is wordless! Enjoy::)
Comment by conanld on 6 June 2008:
Many folks seem to want to excessively down play the role of physical attraction in finding mates. While there are certainly exceptions to any rule, this does not really marry up with reality (pun intended).
If physical attraction plays no role in relationships, then in theory, when everything else is equal, a physically unattractive individual should have exactly the same odds as an attractive individual in attracting a physically attractive mate. Moreover, no one would care what his or her mate looked like, because it would be an irrelevant factor.
Such a supposition does not carry the weight of logic. If given a choice at birth, would you prefer to be born physically attractive, or to be born physically unattractive? Why?
Comment by BlkAngelArica on 6 June 2008:
I am a single, working mom of one. I havent dated in umm 6months or so. Recently, I get alot of white men opening doors, making conversations with me and just being friendly. I have dated a white guy before in college. He movd soon after his mom passed away. I never dated outside my race again. I do find some white men, black men and latino men attractive. I look at things differently as I did when I was 20 something. I look at how he treats me as a person. The time that I spend with him. I do enjoy the gestures or politeness of a white gentlemen.
Comment by UKblackchick on 7 June 2008:
The focus of this forum is to find out why White men love black women and hearing from people like Conanld on this attraction to black women is crucial in developing relationships between the two. If BW are unaware of this attraction from WM then it harder to purse these types of relationships. In the UK, WM have similar attitudes to American WM in that there is a ideal of beauty which is blonde hair, blue-eyed and that WM should marry this type of woman other to fit in and if they don’t, they are seen as ‘odd’ or having a ‘fetish’. This type of reaction can be discouraging to a lot of white men and all the social pressures that come with it. Conanld is trying to warn other WM who are younger than him to follow their attractions/dreams instead of trying to please society like a lot of WM do. I think more detail research on WM/BW relationships would be a good thing and in particular from a white male view.
Comment by Flirty1 on 7 June 2008:
I think taking a closer look at black and white relationships is good. I would also ask: What are white people (and other ethnicities really) beliefs about black women? What shapes their attitude about black people? Especially women? Here’s a good book to look at: Two-Faced Racism by Joe R. Feagin. ISBN: 9780415954761. I think that everyone is aware of what the other person feels as far as romance goes. It’s written all over their face and in their body language. If a guy doesn’t have the guts to ask you out then he doesn’t have the guts to do a lot of other things either. I guess I just don’t want to give these guys an easy out. That’s almost as ridiculous as black men who use a set of stereotypes about black women to rationalize their desire for white women. Instead of just saying they like white women.
Comment by Renai on 7 June 2008:
People are always asking white men why they date or like black women. No one ever ask the question of why black women like white men. But I can answer why I like white men. I always thought white men were good looking. Then when I became of age and dated a few white men, I found that we click and they treated me so well. I was never disrespected,verbally or physically abused by a white man.
Comment by melody on 8 June 2008:
I moved into a predominately white community about 4 years ago. The majority of the black men in this area are married to or with white women and just in passing whether at gas stations, the market or on the street they will not speak. On the other hand the white men are polite and hold open doors, in the market the other day a white male seemed to go out of his way to offered me his place in line but I was not really to check out. A am a single black mother of one child that has recently entered this school system so I have become more involved in the community. While the gestures of the white men are very pleasant and for me usual they seem to stop at that while there gestures appear to show interest at times no one follows through. I have never dated a white man, but it is not because I will not it’s because they stop short at asking for my number. If the man in the market has asked I would have talked to him, he was tall and handsome. As this is an affluent area, I can agree with the thought that white men seek to maintain their status in the overall community and within their families. I can’t blame them for that, but it leaves a lot of white men and black women longing, lonely, and wondering. So are there any white men out there who are not afratid to actually do more than be polite to a Sister, or will interracial still mainly mean a black man and a white women?
Comment by conanld on 8 June 2008:
Melody,
Don’t lose hope.
There could be any number of reasons why any given white man has not asked you out. Maybe there was insufficient time available to him right then to start up a conversation that would yield a date. Maybe they are already married, or if not married, maybe they are already in a relationship, and who knows, maybe that relationship is with another black woman!
If they are single and available, then maybe they are just now trying to get their feet wet with interracial dating, so they start out with simple gestures and see how it goes, before moving on to the next step.
Finally, you are correct that there are psychological barriers at play. It’s no secret that a BMWW relationship is more accepted today than is a WMBW relationship.
Still, as an older gentleman I have seen a lot of change recently, and that is good news. The progress might seem slow as a slug to those caught up in the moment, but believe me, things are changing now, they are changing rapidly, and it will continue to get better as time goes by
Comment by BlkAngelArica on 8 June 2008:
Melody,
I have the same problem. I get alot of stares, conversation but not one white man has asked me for my number. I even get winks. With time, WMBW relationships will be more common and eventually more, more acceptable. Today, we have more avenues to date than 20 years ago. We have the Internet, speed dating, social gatherings. Let your friends, or neighbors know that you are interested in dating again. Continue going to social events and just enjoy yourself. You will be surprise what happens.
Right now, I have a white guy who is a friend. I really enjoy his conversation. We havent been out on a date yet. I will keep you posted.
Comment by A White Girl on 9 June 2008:
I think some of the black women here are slightly souding racist (CaribPrinces) or insecure when talking about white women and themselves. CaribPrinces, some of your remarks were very small minded and quite frankly silly.
Men love women. Thats it. People are individuals with preferences. Thats it. I am white, my boyfriend is white (italian) and has been out with many black women (as well as asian, european…) I dont have a big round arse, I have really soft skin, great hips and boobs (with pink nipples) and I have silky long blond hair which no black women has. He likes these things about me along with my personailty and other things. When he was with his black girlfrinds im sure he loved many things about them too that i dont have- If he wanted those things he’d be with a black girl now… Hes happy with me.
I’m fun, interesting, intelligent, strong and sexually confident and make my man very happy-he tells me its the best sex he’s had, the most excitment he’s had and that he’s never been in love like this- Now i dont believe that has ANYTHING to do with colour.
If you fall in love with someone its not about colour is it!! I know that when you see a good looking black women they are VERY sexy, sometimes i catch him looking at an attractive black women but sometimes he catches me looking at a Latino men! (Most of my past boyfriends have been latin american) I love Latin american men as they have beautiful skin tone and great hair and NICE ROUND arses!! Its all just a matter of taste. Personally i think Brazilian women are far more attractive than white and black women. I believe they have perfect arse, hips, hair, boobs, lips. Thats me.
I do admit that the confidence of a black women does show and i can see why men find this attractive. Lets face it you can get beautiful, strong, confident, wise, sensual, sexy or unattractive, weak, dumb in ANY race. Some men like really fat women, some like japanese, some blond…Just realise that people are individuals.
Id say WOMEN, regardless of race…its good to be independant and confident and you are all unique. My best frind who is balck has no rythm and can dance that well, i have another white frind who cooks super spicy food and is a sensational hip hop dancer. Woman are amazing and unique.
Comment by Danteone on 9 June 2008:
I believe white men love black women becuse of the whole slavery thing. they feel powerful and superior with a balck woman on their arm!!!
Most white men love long hair, silky long flowing hair..not ”greasy, itchy, stiff afro hair” they like slim slender women and like ‘white girl’ said lovely soft skin (white women have such soft skin to touch-it drives me wild.) I really think that white men like black women as a pet, as a housewife. We all know they love white women sexually and asthetically. Most white men i know believe the big lips and hair on a black women to be unattractive. White women have beautiful skin tones, beautiful rosie cheecks after making love and blue eyes like the ocean, hair golden like the sun.
I LOVE white women.
I guess some white men see the other side of the spectrum.
Comment by tatted2death on 9 June 2008:
The past few posts have been quite interesting……but also quite expected. Now while I think this sort of forum is excellent for getting people to start talking (which is the first step), I think it can get to the point of being a bit childish. Their have been too many posts tinged with self-loathing and other forms of hatred. Bottomline, seeking validation online is a no-win situation. There will forever be those who are jaded or jealous. And on the flipside, it really makes you look petty to lash out at other women solely based on racial factors (and umm btw, a white girl….women of all shades have the ability to have whatever color hair they please….in fact women of ALL races seem to like to “enhance” themselves to some degree…..via tanning beds, lip plumpers, hair weaves, etc…..so that point is moot….I try and be as natural as I can but that is a personal choice….does NOT make me better than the next woman). People are individuals and that is all. There are some interesting reasons for attraction but let’s not take this bs personal, please. Because we all know physical beauty fades to one degree or another so if we are out here seeking men to put us on pedestals based on those attributes we are only “building castles in sand”.
Comment by SugarRay on 10 June 2008:
Melody,
I’m a white male that has dated quite a few black females. I can tell you from my own experiences that I personally dont have any reservations when asking out a black female. I usually dont ask out females in places likes stores though. Those men that you were talking about being polite might think the same way that I do. I met most of my black girlfriends at work,through friends or at school. If you wanna try dating a white male, then I highly recommend you trying an online dating site. Trust me when I say that there alot of white men that find black women attractive.
Comment by bexeybee on 10 June 2008:
I think tat who ever said white girls all look te same is bizarre though!!! I JUST HAD TO ADD THAT! That was shocking and absured.
If anything black girls look the same, they all have big lips, wide flat noses and brown eyes and clack hair. White women have many many varied features, eye colours, hair textures, colours, lip shape, colors…breast size, bum shapes, hip size, they have lovely hips (where as black women have their hips on their back i think ou call this booty!!!)
Really though the topic IS dated and ridiculous. Any intelligent person knows what the most important factor is in a realtioship. Everyone has their preferences. There is beauty in all races and men to love all of them!
Comment by Brentman on 10 June 2008:
yeah some of the black women on here are not showing black women in a good light. jenipher and caribprincess sound real ignorant and small minded, really generlising and talking crap Caribprincess saying ”black women are better, more beautiful and intellient” this is a ridicuous thing to say.
I would say I see far more many attractive white women than black woman but there are planty of beautiful black women. I like all beautiful women - Im not attracted to unattractive women- ANY RACE!!!
Black women have qualities that white ladies dont have and vice versa-Its is all about personal taste but what really counts is the personality, the mind and soul. Which has no colour!!
Comment by Jenipher on 10 June 2008:
my italian husband says being married to a black woman is fantasic and he wouldn’t change it for the world. He says the sex is awesome.
We are married 2 yrs in juylt 08. We have the cutest daughter. He is so kind and i am so lucky to be with him. He really puts alot into r relationship. I love him alot. We talk about everything.
Tips on keeping the love alive
1.) Don’t let him see you naked too often. You don’t want him to get tired of your body.
2.) Get ready for sex. Make-up, perfume, jewlery, high heels and sexy cloths. Music, candles.
3.) Suck his dick (and do it often) he will lovve this. Make it feel tight and wet like pu$$y.
Comment by Mz_Monique on 10 June 2008:
I was brought with the understanding that Love, real Love has no color. You can’t sterotype it one way or the other. You can’t help who you fall in love with. So you shouldn’t limit yourself to one specific shade. Someone once asked me what race did I prefer and me being me let them know the ” Human race”, okaaay. But seriously Love has no bounds, no strictures, and no limits. Race should never be a problem.
Comment by Nicky on 10 June 2008:
The last couple of posts are incredibly racist and ignorant. All of you people need help, seriously.
Comment by tatted2death on 11 June 2008:
In response to an inquiry a few posts back…..attractive or unattractive?????…..I think this is another premise that will never be settled. As you have seen on this very site their are plenty of attractive women looking for love. If their “attractiveness” (which certainly is in the eye of the beholder…..one man’s treasure is another’s trash and vice versa and all those other cliches…..lol) really mattered why are they on here. If anything their looks might be a deterrent…..truly intimidated some. Oh well. I am on of those weird women anyway….that doesn’t really care who actually finds me attractive. I know I am not everyman’s cup of tea so it doesn’t hurt my feelings if I am deemed unattractive by them. Because if all somebody wants is eye-candy there are plenty of movies and magazines that cater to them.
Comment by A white girl on 12 June 2008:
Hey tatted2death, i didnt say only white women could have different hair colours at all! (However naturally black women just hqave black/brown hair, there are more colours in the white race BUT this is besides the point, that wasnt my point at all. Hair colour is irrelivant to what i was saying-i think youre getting me mixed up wit the guy who wrote after me. I was talking about a black womans confidence and how i thought that was a very attractive feature.
On a slighty different subject I have met many white Italians who love black women - Why is this (black women are beautiful but I mean why the Italians in paricular??) But again you could say that was generalising again!
Comment by UKblackchick on 12 June 2008:
To the racist people who are saying black women are unattractive and all have ‘big lips’ and ‘flat noses’ are RACIST and mean spirited. Everyone knows that Black women are just as beautiful as another race and for people say racist stuff about black women , tells me that there is still a lot of opposition to BW/WM relationships. When you look at the spectrum of black beauty, there are so many beautiful skin tones that BW have and not to mention also our lovely full lips that White women pay thousands to obtain, plus our unique hair. So to say all BW are ugly is stupid, there is pretty and ugly in every race. Not everyone finds thin nose, blonde-hair and no curves attractive. These types of comments seem to be regular occurrence when anything positive is said about BW, it seems like other races of women can told there are beautiful over and over again but when it BW that shouldn’t happen, well times are changing!!!
An important point to mention when talking about attraction and BW/WM relationships in particular is the beauty hierarchy that plays itself out the Western world and especially in the media. I think a lot of white men might be afraid to admit their attraction to BW in public because it been ingrained in Western society that white women are the ideal and everyone should desire them and black women are not openly admire for their beauty by non-black men and this might be delaying the development of BW/WM relationships.
Comment by Rayne on 12 June 2008:
Times are a changing, and the changes are long overdue concerning BW/WM relationships. I am proud to be part of that change. Although I may not meet the standards of others because of my relationship or because of their perception of beauty…does it really matter? I can honestly look at myself in the mirror and see who I truly am….an independent, strong, smart, beautiful representation of the human race, who happens to be black, a woman, and who made the decision to date a white man. I admire those who post about taking the first step and dating outside your race. It was not easy for me the first time, but I can say that I’m glad I did.
Comment by BIG MAMA on 12 June 2008:
I’m a Old Fashion Girl with a old fashion up bringing. Although i come from a family that isn’t into interracial relationship, they can not and will not speak for me. For me. It’s about getting to know a person, what do you have in common, Sharing likes and dislikes.
But it seems now days, It’s hit and quit it. And this thing about pleasing a man by sucking his dick. Honey. Let me tell you something. If you have to stoop to such levels to get that kind of a rise out of a man. Then he’s not worth having. Don’t ever Disrespect yourself just to keep or to hold on to a man. I don’t care what color he is.
Love yourself. Don’t let any man make you feel less than what you are. You were created to be loved, admired, respected and protected. You’re not a man’s Punching Bag or his Human Jock Strap.
Remember love yourself and for pete’s sake use your mouth for what it was intended for. FOOD! not HUMAN CONSUMPTION!!!!!!
Comment by smooches 2008 on 13 June 2008:
I would like to say thank you UK! You said everything I’ve been thinking! We are the most imitated and mimicked of all women. We have always been sought after for our unique beauty our beautiful skin tones and of course these lips and hips. Not to mention we are a very mentally strong race of women. I love all my beautiful sisters of all races. However, I admire, adore, up lift, encourage, support, and love my beautiful black sisters! That embark on this journey with me through all the BS we will endure because we love colorlessly
Comment by Rayne on 13 June 2008:
Great comment BIG MAMA.
Comment by sarah on 13 June 2008:
rayne,
i too am black and in a interracial relationship. How did u too meet and how does his family feel about u. How long u too been together and how often do u 2 fight?
Sarah
Comment by BIG MAMA on 13 June 2008:
Rayne,
I wish you all the love and romance and respect that your heart and mind can handle. Remember what i said. Love yourself first, don’t allow any kind of head games.
Most of all please be truthful and lay it out on the table. He has to respect your honesty. He has to see from the get go He’s Not Dealing With A Child. (Trick’s Are For Kids)
And don’t be afraid to say NO!
Be Bless Rayne.
Comment by Legalease on 13 June 2008:
Hello Everyone:
I just came across this site last night and I am intrigued. I sat up all night reading all the way through the blog and must say I am uplifted and dismayed by some of the comments I have read. This is like a vanilla/chocolate swirl soap opera. LOL!!!
People like Conald, who made me teary eyed with his comments and with whom I would like to chat with more for some understanding and Ashley who is so full of passion, seem to have a chocolate cult following.
There are others and I could go on but
the reason I am writing is because I am a 40ish year old, dark skinned, Caribbean-American woman who finds herself hopelessly attracted to a 40ish year old WM.
I have dated men who are Asain, Hispanic, White and Black (African, African-American and Latin-American). I have had my share of issues and successes with each man I have dated so to me men are men no matter what their racial make up.
I, like Sunshine, have always been approaced by WM. For instance, I was in Chocolate City (DC) and there was only one man in the whole club guess who he asked to dance, you guessed it, ME. This has been going on my whole life. I even considered therapy to find out why BM will not date me. My brother says I appear to be “all about business” but that does not stop WM. Friends say it is becasue I do not smile enough, but that does not stop WM. I hold two degrees, I can bake my butt off, mocha torte anyone?, I love to try new things, I am well read, travel, love music and theatre, and have an amazing sense of humor. So I cannot for the life of me figure out why the BM never wanted to date me. I can say now I learned to date men who want to date me no matter what color they are, they just have to have like minded interests.
I have heard some of the WM say that they are afraid to approach BW, please do not be afraid. Come up to us, ask us out, we are women just like everyone else. We work and love hard, we have our weaknesses and strenghts like everyone else. We are finally making head-way through a socitey and world that has consistently told us we are not and were not beautiful enough to measure up to the more traditional standard of beauty. We are just waking up from that painful slumber to explore our own beauty and we can use all the encouragement we can get at least I can.
Anyway, I am standing down from my soap box to present my issue. First I have to say that I have no issues with black men, but have noted from my own experiences that they do tend to want more lighter skinned or white women. I hold no grude but as I have often stated in the past please do not put me down because you prefer non-Afro women. I do not, nor have I ever held grudges against brothers who have excercized their options, I just ask that you do not stop me from exercizing mine.
With that said, I am hopelessly attracted to a 40ish year old , Italian WM. We get along great and I love his quirky sense of humor. He has an amazing heart and like me, is deeply spiritual. He gives amazing hugs which melt me everytime I am in his arms. He does not know that I have this crush and I am not sure I know how to tell him. He has dated women of color in the past and I know he is not adverse to interracial relationships. We have gone out as friends and have talked for hours. He has been hurt a lot (but then again who has not) and is reluctant to date anyone. He has told me that the next person he dates, he is going to take it slow. He has even asked me out to go sailing about a month ago but has said nothing about it ever since. I do not know what to do.
I would love to hear from Conald or Ashley on this. Heck, I want to hear constructive advise from anyone. We work together for the same firm but not in the same location. I do not want to take up anymore time and thank you for reading thus far. I have so many questions to ask the WM who have made their interest known.
I look forward to uplifting and encouraging comments for anyone who would like offer advise.
Thanks,
Legalease.
Comment by Legalease on 14 June 2008:
Hi Cherris:
I loved your post and the thread between you and Conald. I was wondering if you were truly considering writing a book, if you thought of a think tank. I have several Afro-female friends who have and/or are dating white men (one couple is engaged to get married on the 10th of October this year) and I find myself recently attracted to a man who is white.
I have been doing my own unofficial survey on why WM/BW are now getting together. I have actually stopped couples to “interview” them. I have been getting facinating results which I would love to share with you.
I have my own theories and have been getting some interesting results from the couples I have interviewed.
I am a professional BW and have had some interesting experiences with WM especially in the work place. I have been met with a myriad of responses and comments about what “black women” are like. I do not think they know how to handle me.
I believe they are different from the men of Conald’s generation becasue we actually went to school together and sat in the same classes. They are curious but they do not approach.
In any event, I would love to participate or at the very least explore the thread that you and Conald were writing about. I hope to hear from you soon,
Legalease
Comment by conanld on 14 June 2008:
Hi Legalease.
I hope these comments will help
Few things melt a man’s heart like a nice flirtatious smile, especially one that emanates from an aura of confidence!
Naturally, this can be easier said then done oftentimes, but that’s probably why a confident flirtatious smile can be so cherished and effective, because it’s not something that you see everyday, it can be tricky to pull off without a hitch, and many people are just too afraid to try it!
Everyone has insecurities of some kind or another, so there’s some risk involved, but so what? Believe me, it’s always worth the try, especially if you are truly interested in a particular individual.
I have smiled warmly at a lot of women in my life, and a lot of them do not smile back, but in those instances when they do, it’s a wonderful experience, and it can magically open doors to future relationships!
I have discovered over the years, a very interesting anecdotal “fact�. Can you guess what single factor rises above all others, when it comes to whether or not you will receive a warm smile in return?
It is the other individual’s confidence level, and comfort with their own psyche. Physical appearance of the other person really doesn’t have that much to do with it. I have had beautiful women smile back at me, and I have had “plain� women smile back at me. I have also had my share of both whom have completely ignored me for various unknown reasons.
If you are not comfortably smiling at strangers, or even at opposite sex friends, there are other things that you can do that are also effective. If a man senses that a woman is interested in him, this can change the entire way he perceives her.
Now all you regular readers know that I am a white man who in particular is attracted to black women, but white women can turn me on too. The reason I mention this is because a year ago, I encountered a white woman on an airplane (who was probably 25 to 30 years younger than myself no less) that suddenly made her presence known to me. It was like she appeared out of no-where. At first, I was almost annoyed by the “intrusion�, but then her persistence and attention wore me down very quickly.
All of a sudden from my own perspective, this woman went from a state of being almost annoying to being very sexy! There was no doubt in my mind that she thought I was an attractive man. I could tell by all of her doting attention. Like other similar times in my life, had I not been married, I most likely would have asked her out on a date, despite our age differences because she was so very intriguing. As it was, we talked a lot, and I helped her with her luggage, and then I was on my way.
It’s important to note that I did not initially find this woman to be particularly attractive, and yet it did not take a series of dates for her to very rapidly change my mind! She pulled off that magnificent gesture in a matter of no more than about 1 or two minutes time! All she did was make it abundantly clear to me that she was interested in talking to me, or at least that’s how it appeared to me. I’m sure she must have been quite skilled in her approach, because it was quite effective.
So the bottom line is this ladies – show interest! It won’t work all of the time, and maybe it won’t work most of the time, but sooner or later it WILL work, and you will be very glad you made your move!
God Bless
Comment by conanld on 14 June 2008:
Some more thoughts of mine on the enchanting power of showing interest in a person of the opposite sex!
I’ve already explained how much I as a man can appreciate a woman who shows an interest in me, but looking back on my experiences of years past, I believe that I can provide some anecdotal evidence that women too are just as responsive to male attention as men are to female attention.
Almost universally, whenever I have felt and expressed a genuine interest in a particular woman, and when I have done so while in the presence of other women, I have noticed a significant increase in interest in me from the other women observers.
This has happened to me in bars, on buses, in bookstores, grocery stores, ticket counters, work; it really doesn’t matter much what the place is. What’s important is that I have expressed an interest in a member of the opposite sex, and others in the vicinity have noticed that.
Heck, I’ve even had some men try to hit on me on some occasions when they have witnessed me show an interest in a particular woman. (By the way, I am NOT “gay�).
Now it’s true that this effect is more pronounced when the woman of my affection is a black woman, and the observing women are white, but that’s another story for another day. Even when all of the women are white, or when all of the women are black, the effect is still there and it can be at times very obvious.
Perhaps the most extreme case happened to me when I was around 33 years old (I’m 56 now). I had walked into a “high end� bar and immediately noticed this very attractive woman. I made several passes at her to no avail, and I even tried to position myself close to her hoping to catch her eye, but she wouldn’t have anything to do with it. The only way I could have grabbed her attention would have been to risk a rude intrusion, so I eventually gave up, and looked for another woman to talk to.
Before long, I found a willing companion and we were beginning to enjoy each other’s company. Shortly afterwards, the woman that had “spurned� me, suddenly came up behind me, and said easily loud enough for me and many others to hear – “Why are you with her? You should be with me! Life just isn’t fair�!
How about that one? Now it’s hard to know for sure what her true motivation was of course, but lets assume for discussion’s sake that her comments were genuine.
Ladies, you do NOT want to be like that woman! If there is any chance that a man may suspect that you are not interested, then he WILL more likely than not, move on, and find someone else who is interested!
Don’t play hard to get. I’m not suggesting that you act like a “floozy�, what I am suggesting is if you are interested, then show your interest!
Here’s some tips for women and men alike – go out with an opposite sex friend or two, to a nightclub or other place of entertainment. Just talking with your friend will make you more attractive to the observers in the room! The same will be true for your friend(s). He or she will also appear more attractive!
I have an image forever burned into my mind. One night at a dance club, I noticed this extremely obese man sitting at a table surrounded by women! You would have thought that he already had enough female companionship, but I was stunned to find that there were a lot of women observers, who just had to find out what was so special about this guy that looked like he had a harem surrounding him! He had more fun than any other guy in the entire place!
Comment by tatted2death on 16 June 2008:
ok……I will reply once and ONLY once to “A white girl”….NO, I did not get you confused with anyone else unless there was a “guy right after” you going on about their “exclusive” physical attributes (”I have really soft skin, great hips and boobs (with pink nipples) and I have silky long blond hair which no black women has.”). I was not personally attacking you on any level just making you aware of something that maybe you weren’t. (if you already knew it, maybe it didn’t come through to me in your post….sorry). All the (!) in you reply to my post got me thinking though…. maybe there is something to this theory I have. ANY….(I REPEAT>>>>ANY) woman that comes online and has to put themselves in some sort of “special” category might have some deeper issues than any of us can solve or even fathom. My only wish and hope here is that anyone that has any of these “complexes” truly finds peace in such a manner that does not continue to compromise anyones well-being…..including their own. Not being snide here at all…..just not wanting certain cycles to be perpetuated. Nuf Sed.
Comment by tatted2death on 16 June 2008:
…oh…and also…just to clarify. I DO recognize some effort on the part of some women on here to be more “broad-minded” than most…..but the tactics are still rather “narrow” (i.e. comparing yourself to others, seeing others as “better/worse”). Please, people re-read what you write and try and see some of the propaganda that is being regurgitated. Whatever has been “force-fed” to you (via the media, childhood peers or some other misguided individual) need to be supressed. Again I say STOP THE CYCLE…….ok now I kindly step off my soap-box…..lol.
Comment by geneandthem on 16 June 2008:
Thanks tatted2death
Finally someone with some real sense! You should read some of my prior post in this same blog. There are some real idiots in here, and the crazy thing is that these people are the people doing the interracial dating?? How is that possible?? How could you be a interracial dater and be this closed minded? Or clueless? This place is wild!!!!
Ashley,
Comment by phatkitty on 17 June 2008:
Legalese, dont even think about it, go with your heart, if you think too much you will procrastinate and you might miss out on something wonderful.
Goodluck, let me know how it goes.
ps. I would love to go sailing too.(lol)
Comment by SaratogaDoug on 17 June 2008:
Hello everyone,
Today, I came accross this website, okay I was looking for a place where I could find some sisters in the area who may have interest in me….lol. Although I am the type of white guy that is a little more aggressive (In person), I haven’t seen any women of my preference in person, since I have moved too Saratoga Springs NY.
To that end, my intention today is multi in purpose. First, I would like to add some insight as to why I date black women soley. Second I would like to “holla” at CaribPrinces, but I am not sure where else to reach her, other than here (lol, seriously though I am).
Ok, so here it is. Initially, I found black women attractive as a boy (ages 14-18). Then it was only the model type on the cover of magazines. Keep in mind, I was never around black women until I was in the military at age 18. My initial, preference was only based on skin tone, eyes, musical inclination, and rythym. Those specific physical attraction, mostly created by what I saw on tv, were enough to create a desire for an actual relationship. I hope this initial basis for attraction is specific enough to deduct some conclusions for the readers.
Next, I dated my first black girlfriend around age 19. This is where the excitement started! I found that most the items described by CaribPrinces in an earlier entry were true to me. Having said that, a lot of other race women do also have these traits. To recap, some of those traits were intelligence, age well, body type (which I would by lying if I said wasn’t very important to me), and sense of humor or commitment. I would like to add a few to the list, like a sexy smile in a dim lit room over her shoulder, this is one that I know no women on earth other than a black women has the power to overwelm me.
Now, haveing been in three long term relationships with black women. I know truely that I will probable not ever be in love with any women from another race. In fact, I have put my best foot forward to date white women in my area (because that is all we have) and although I am attracted and do find white women attractive, I am not attracted to them.
After reviewing what I have written above, I feel no more closure has been added. Dam, guess I was naive to think I could do it better myself. So looks like I will keep “doin me” and not paying attention to the haters.
Doug
Comment by Rayne on 18 June 2008:
Sarah, we met as neighbors, living across the hall from each other in an apartment complex. I was having trouble with my car one day, and he offered to look at it. I didn’t know that he was a mechanic….lol. As for his family, the majority accept our relationship, others do not. We really do not let other people control how we feel. But do respect their opinions. Everyone has an opinion, some are more vocal than others. We have been together for almost three months. As for how often we “fight”. I can honestly say we have not had any fights, but we do discuss our differences. Communication is so important. When two people fight in any relationship, neither can listen to obtain any type of understanding…this is my opinion.
BigMama, thank you again, I truly respect and appreciate your posts.
Comment by Rockerchick27 on 19 June 2008:
This is about Truth’s post on January 30. I know where he is coming from, and I don’t think an American-raised person will understand as well. It is well-known that American-raised blacks do tend to act much differently than non-American-raised blacks. Although it not all, it is quite a large piece of the pie. Only a person born and raised in another country and moving to America can tell you that there seems to be a huge difference with the actions and attitudes of blacks. Although not in all of them, this ghetto bitch/pimp attitude is prevalent. It’s not predominant anywhere else really. Am I saying it is nowhere else? Of course not. But it’s almost like the norm in America.
And to respond to CaribPrinces’ comment about some white men feeling intimidated by black women, when you take the facts into consideration, is this really surprising? To date, nationwide statistics still indicate that, of all the race and gender combos in America, (American-raised) black women are the least open to interracial dating. Of course there are plenty who would date or marry outside their color line, the percentage is still in the single digits. I’ll have to get an update with this next fact, but if it is around the same number since the last time I checked, the national number of marriages between WM/BF is still 4% (or is it 2%?). Many black (American-raised) women just are not open to it (and many black American men, as well). Though outdated and tired, the “White people enslaved us for so long and now want to date us?â€? attitude is very rampant, as well as the “God made us different colors for a reasonâ€? “There are enough black brothas for the sistas,â€? “Only self-hating black women date white menâ€? attitudes. The people responding and acting like these aren’t the facts are naïve.
But to answer the question at hand, I simply am attracted to white guys, mainly because they are what I was around as a child. Don’t get me wrong—I was around plenty of black guys as well, but I seemed to connect better with the white dudes. Read: I am black American and I love heavy metal rock. I play the electric guitar and have done so since middle school. I am in a band (about three years now) and we rock here and there. I have a few tattoos and my tongue is pierced and so is my eyebrow. Although… here (Maryland), everyone, despite the skin tone, seems to have either a tongue, eyebrow, or nose piercing (or a combo).
Where I grew up, color didn’t seem to matter much; it was more like how you acted. If you were white and you acted like a ghetto person with no life, then black girls dated you. I was actually appalled by a lot of the black people in my second high school (we moved a lot). Well… it was more like this whole group of ghetto hispanics, blacks, asians, and whites, but the black girls were the worst. Mind that these were the girls who wore plastic-looking weaves, really long nails, and somewhat slutty-looking clothes. Of all of them, I remember only one being directly from Africa (but moved to America at a young age). The rest were Americans. Most of the black boys (and a lot of hispanics and a few white boys) were in this clique and only wanted to fuck and hang with the ghetto-est black girls. I was not one of them and was not trying to pretend I was. Naturally, the boys in this group never wanted to date me. I attended a ghetto school, clearly. My point is that, because I was a rocker chick, I was seen as a sell-out and a white-washed black girl. (When I moved to Baltimore, it was sooo much worse). I’ve only ever gotten offers from white boys–rockers no less–but you don’t see me complaining =) Since then, I’ve just been attracted to white guys ‘cause they’re so much nicer (personal experience). With the college I’m in, it’s totally different. I get offers from black guys, but I don’t accept any. Not because I don’t like them, but we don’t seem to be able to connect as effortlessly. It doesn’t really matter now that I am in a relationship anyway ;p Makes it so much easier.
As for attraction itself, it is pure science and very complex. The generic answer would be that we’re attracted to who we can relate to. Often times, a person can find themselves not particularly attracted to someone until they take the time to talk to them. The brain will accept the signals eventually (if they connect), and will start releasing all of the necessary chemicals. There is the fantasy aspect. You are attracted to who you think will make good babies and a potentially good mate. It’s all evolutionary.
On another note, I don’t like to use the term “interracial dating�. Skin tone is just another trait, and I don’t define someone as being different from me with how they look (genetically). It’s like rejecting someone because their fingers aren’t the same sizes as mine. The term just makes me feel like I’m dating another species, lol.
Okay, I’ve typed enough.
-RoChi
Comment by Rockerchick27 on 19 June 2008:
Sorry for the long post XD. I thought you guys might get a kick out of this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4-f0n3G_GmM. The song more than the vid, but the vid is cool as well.
-RoChi
Comment by BIG MAMA on 19 June 2008:
Rayne,
I read your post, about your gentleman friend’s family. And how they are accepting of your’s and his relationship. That’s wonderful.
As for those that are not accepting. Take those words treat it like water. And let it run down your back.
Don’t carry the negativeness around with you. Because if they’re not going to help your relationship. Please don’t let them be the one’s who put a end to it.
I’m on the side line cheering for your success. And his.
Comment by Flirty1 on 20 June 2008:
I’ve often wondered if all this talk about men being afraid to approach black women is really just fear of rejection?
Comment by Rockerchick27 on 20 June 2008:
Flirty1… no disrespect, but I feel as though that us an obvious question. The only reason people hold back from what they want (in this case) is fear of rejection, be it from the person themself, their own family, friends, etc. Lots of people disapprove of plenty of relationships. It’s not reserved for white men and black women.
-RoChi
Comment by woman2 on 21 June 2008:
I was married for 34 years to a man outside of my race. At the time I had no concious fear of the effect our relationship had on other people. I was clueless. I married at 16 years old and I suppose there is some truth to ,”ignorance is bliss.” Now that I am more aware of the world we live in and how demented some people are, I hessitate to be in an interracial relationship. Mind you, when I met my ex husband, I believed the bible and love songs, in a forever love and forgiveness of wrongs. I believed others when they gave me their word and gave of myself with no reserve. It was after seeing the brutal ways men and women treat one another of their own race because of the absense of love and trust that make me to believe that….no relationship of any shade can fully function apart from humbly acknowledging our authentic needs with the love and support of those closest to us.
Comment by poetlove on 22 June 2008:
Before I start my comment I’m not for or against any form of dating. With that being said I think white men love black women goes back to the mystery of the unknown. I mean even when racist acts in the south were committed towards black women, it seemingly always ended in rape. I myself love sisters and will always be that way but in the spoken word world. You find circles or cliques that don’t know race just artistic love. Which at times turns into relationship love. The same way people normally venture outside of their comfort zone with someone they work with. Back to the topic at hand in my hometown the capitol of confederacy you are starting to see interracial couples pop up like weeds. I just go by the notion you should like somebody for who they are not their color. I seem to only attract Hippie white girls, traditional asians, and afrocentric sisters , so it’s all about what attracts you to a certain person
Comment by Jane on 25 June 2008:
I’m not sure if this is a new thing–White men loving the sistas–but I have noticed more and more white guys seem to be loving me. I am finishing up my PhD in Sociology at a pretty posh uni and have noticed the men in my program going nuts over me. If I had to venture a guess I believe some of it is of the, “Whoa, she’s smart, funny and HOT!” variety and some of it is good old curiosity.
I find the attention amusing since I’ve been with the same nerdy Jeff Goldblumy Jewish guy for nearly ten years (he’s been dying to get married for about nine and I’m a foot dragging stubborn woman!)and am not looking for a partner.
I’m noticing the white men in my age group, 35-45, are the most rabid. I suspect this is because they want it all: someone their own age who can share their experiences but who also looks like a 21 year old.
These guys don’t seem at all hindered by my age the way they are with white women in their late 30s. Black women and white women seem to have different “sell by” dates (most of which are self imposed) and I guess that tends to make them a bit desperate and needy.
Before my partner I dated mostly affluent, smart nerdy black men who shared my interests in culture, writing and education and never considered white guys. In my defense the only ones who approached me where K’Fed types, which would not have been okay with my Huxtable-esque parents (both are physicians.)
I didn’t fall in love with my partner’s race; I fell in love with his warmth, his intelligence and our shared life experiences (both of his folks are physicians too!)
For me, dating a white guy was never about prefering them over black men or based on a belief in the “no good black dude” myth, but rather it was about falling in love with a person who mirrors back all the things I love about myself and me being able to be that person to him as well.
Now these other chumps, I have idea what to think of their motives, but is nice to be the “prom queen” once in my life. Even if I am 35 and prom is mostly dissertation work groups and internships.
Please forgive my spelling and whatnot. It’s early and the coffeemaker is ass dragging!
Comment by t on 26 June 2008:
The reason I date black woman is that they approach me. I am white, good looking, and have a lot friends. But I rarely approach woman, I can if have to but I hate BSing around trying to run game. If I am out somewhere if I make a lot of eye contac with a black woman to show I am interested she almost always comes to me. The things that my black male friends complain about black woman I have never expereinced. With one excpetion every black woman I have dated has been a pleasant experience. Several of the black woman i have slept with I still talk to. I don’t talk to any of the other woman I have slept with.
I have learned to go out of my way to respect black woman, I have always gotten twice as much in return.
Comment by Muriel0318 on 26 June 2008:
Hi t,
Respect is the key word for any woman, particularly for black women. I am 55 y/o and will not put up with any kind of disrepect. However, I have notice white men tend to go out of their way to show me a little more respect and grace.(openning doors, saying yes or not miss, for example) I cannot say I have been dispected by black men. However, even though I talk to as many people during the day as I can, I have more banter with white men. By the way I like talking to men.
Comment by Mark on 26 June 2008:
Wow! Mr. Bill is just trying to show off his grand education and his superior sensibilities with that one statement. He is above all of us racists (black and white) because he refuses to acknowledge any race but the human race. BRAVO! BRAVO! Long may he bloviate…hopefully, so hard he passes out. Anyway, I think all kinds of women are attractive. As whats his face once said, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer…um, ah, rather, the bee-holder” (better wear sting proof gloves). I do find black women to be fascinating. I don’t know why, I have only dated a few black ladies, so I can’t make any general statements, like black women are all confident, or love you with more passion, but I’d love to find my soul mate. Any takers? I don’t know if you can post e-mail addresses here but mine is mrpepe333@yahoo.
Comment by tatted2death on 27 June 2008:
Thanks for the acknowledgement, Ashley….
Yes, I have already had the pleasure of reading your posts but refrained from replying (seemed like you had alot of admirers at the time….lol). You, too, seem like someone with his “head on straight”. Anywho, I tend to believe most people have “good-sense”; they are just a little too lazy to use it. I guess it really is simplier to use generalisations to justify ignorance…and it takes just a little more brain power to see beyond the obvious.
Another thing I have noticed is quite a few “interracial daters” are actually “racist haters in sheeps clothing”. Time and time again I have witnessed a woman with children (that are obviously “mixed’, for lack of a better term) that she really seems not to care for (name-calling and berating them in public) and I can’t help but wonder if behind closed door she doesn’t let a little racial epithet fly loose every now and again. But then again it seems as though too many of young women nowadays just simply aren’t cut out for motherhood…PERIOD(regardless of race). And I have heard it said that quite a few women enjoy the “interracial” sex but really don’t “like” the “race” of the man they are dating. Such madness is obviously more rampant than I thought(Ashley….you never lie, man….lol).
…in closing here I would like to thank “Rochi” for her posts…..I completely relate and am glad to know I am not the only woman of color that own an electric guitar…lol. Also I like your outlook on “different skin tones”. That is such an evolved way of thinking….here’s hoping it catches on.. though osmosis or something….lol. PEACE
Comment by mick60a on 1 July 2008:
What I look for in a woman, regaarless of race, etc. is simple. I aly who has a good sense of humor, beauty inside and out. They inside beauty always shines through. Inner strength too , a woman who wil not let anyyone step all over here but yet can be tender at the right moments
It has to sort of clikck with me
Simple and easy
Comment by B Heard on 5 July 2008:
If thats your cup of tea go for it. Myself I love nothing more then a Beutiful Black Man. Iam not attacted to the white man never have never will. For one if thier not sporting muscle they don’t look like nothing to me and thats my thought. Second they have a sent and its not a good one. Third my dad is a Black man and I would never date one especially a broke one, If he’s not making six fingures its a waste of time. Am A Beautiful Black
Woman And I Have A Beautiful Black Man. I wouldn’t choose to be any othe Race But Black. Black Don’t Crack And Thats How I like It.
Comment by geneandthem on 6 July 2008:
B Heard,
Are you ok? Did you hit your head, Or are you a smoker? You sound racist, Young, and seriously uneducated! Why you would be in a interracial blog is Beyond me? “they have a sent and its not a good one.” Ok your first problem here is the SENT that you used is to SEND something like a letter! The CENT that you meant has to do with smell and it is spelled SCENT! DO you know how stupid and ridicules that makes you seem and look to every one here! And my biggest issue with you is this! THE NAME OF THIS BLOG IS “”"”Why white men love the black woman”"”"” Your a black woman and you only date black men? Why would you be posting random feelings about how you feel in a blog that has nothing to do with what you are talking about? Also SPELL CHECK YOUR WRITING!!!!!! If you are going to be a idiot in your post at least you can help your image a little by making your post a little more legible! IDIOT!!!!!!
Comment by tatted2death on 6 July 2008:
OK Ashley now…..breathe….slowly….lol
I see what you mean (yet once again)…..you know they are sent here just to try and torment the TRULY open-minded ones like ourselves so let’s just not waste our lovely keystrokes on them…..LMAO.
Comment by BIG MAMA on 7 July 2008:
B Heard,
I read your blog that you posted, and I found it to be rather interesting. As a matter of fact, i considered it to be just a matter of opinion. But when you start talking about White Men having a scent. Now you’re out of line.
Oder is oder. no matter who’s ass it comes from. And i know what you’re getting at………Honey. you need to squash that. That whole WET DOG crap is not but a myth. A racist one at that.
But since you went there. Let me take it a little further.
I think if a White Man, get up and work from 8 to 5 and put in some over time, to take care of his family. Bust his hump to make ends meat. And manage (unlike some people) to stay ofF AMERICA’S MOST WANTED. And still able to make that car note on time. He can come home smelling any damn way he want.
I’m not afraid to break out the Air Wick. And have his bath water nice and hot. While making out my store list at the same time.
Hey! geneandthem, how you like MY spelling!…..LOL
Comment by BIG MAMA on 7 July 2008:
B Heard,
I read your blog that you posted, and I found it to be rather interesting. As a matter of fact, i considered it to be just a matter of opinion. But when you start talking about White Men having a scent. Now you’re out of line.
Odor is odor. no matter who’s ass it comes from. And i know what you’re getting at………Honey. you need to squash that. That whole WET DOG crap is not but a myth. A racist one at that.
But since you went there. Let me take it a little further.
I think if a White Man, get up and work from 8 to 5 and put in some over time, to take care of his family. Bust his hump to make ends meat. And manage (unlike some people) to stay ofF AMERICA’S MOST WANTED. And still able to make that car note on time. He can come home smelling any damn way he want.
I’m not afraid to break out the Air Wick. And have his bath water nice and hot. While making out my store list at the same time.
Hey! geneandthem, how you like MY spelling!…..LOL
Comment by woman2 on 7 July 2008:
What the world needs now is love sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of….
The white man and the black woman together ruffle many feathers on many sides. I know that slavery in America has a great deal to do with it. What about pre-slavery? What about Moses marrying an ethiopian. His sister wasn’t too happy about that and look what happened to her!
Without love, it is nothing….none of it….I would hate to think that I gave up love because of the color of skin. It would be just like the Creator to send such a test of faith.
Comment by rr on 10 July 2008:
And to Dennis, you are a fine white brotha, you’ll find the right blackwoman, just wait and see..
Comment by rr on 10 July 2008:
packer083, you are the man..
Comment by woman2 on 10 July 2008:
To rr:
That was a loveless and shallow comment.
Comment by tatted2death on 10 July 2008:
Where the hail is Ashley when you need him……lol.
Comment by LegalEase on 11 July 2008:
YIKES RR: Thanks for sharing but that was extreemely harsh.
It is fine to like who/what you like but you do not have to denegrade anyone else in the process. How do you feel when Afro-men say those cruel and demeaning things about us? Since God made us all, there is beauty in each of us, so let’s stay positive and encouraging on this site.
Comment by geneandthem on 11 July 2008:
Sorry guys I think they pulled it before I got to see it! I do not see any comments by a RR? I’m scared to even ask!
Comment by RockerChick27 on 11 July 2008:
A few things to say:
@ tatted2death, haha thanks. I prefer to be enlightened. And, no, you definitely are not the only black woman who can rock an electric guitar!
@ geneandthem, you totally need to cool it. It is not racist to be attracted to only one type. This is aimed at tatted2death as well, but is a black woman who only dates black men any more accepting than a black woman who only dates white men? Or any combo? We’re all the same, truthfully. We are all looking for the same kinds of things, but where we think we’ll find them is a matter of life fucking our perceptions. Back@geneandthem, I hope you realize that, whilst harshly criticizing B Heard about her spelling and grammar, YOU made a lot more mistakes than she did. I also will add that lots of people find certain ’smells’ within races. A lot of people seem to describe a lot of white people as a “wet chicken” smell. I personally don’t smell it (then again, I’ve never sniffed a wet chicken). But… every boy I know wears so much cologne, I can’t breathe anyway.
And BIG MAMA has a good point. If the man works to provide for the family, then I certainly won’t care what he smells like–so long as the smell washes off in the shower! LOL!
-RoChi
Comment by poetlove on 12 July 2008:
yes they pulled rr’s hideous and self hatred comments
Comment by geneandthem on 12 July 2008:
RockerChick27
So first off! I didn’t say anything to you nor did I respond to your post! Secondly don’t tell me S@$&, Not to cool it, or nothing else for that matter! I only date one race also, so what ever you thought or assumed about me you are way off! Why don’t you start at the very top of this blog and read before you open your F#%$@%# mouth! Read my other post! This blog is “Why white men love the black woman” Your not a white man nor are you talking about why we “WHITE MEN” Love the black woman! With your PERCENTAGES? Where the hell is it that you get these percentages? I would love to see the panel of people taking these poles and how affiliated they are! Are you just reading some crap that you read on the web and posting thinking it is true! “But to answer the question at hand, I simply am attracted to white guys” What question????? WHERE IS THAT QUESTION IN THIS BLOG!!! Once again the title is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”Why white men love the black woman” So unless your some transvestite bump that S%$# on down the street some place! Your problem is that you are so caught up in society and percentages and all this crap your talking about you are forgetting the whole reason why we are all here! INTERRACIAL DATING!!!! Not breaking it down, and putting percentages on crap! “but where we think we’ll find them is a matter of life fucking our perceptions.” Didn’t understand your point here? “matter of life fucking our perceptions” UMM NOT SURE!!! And that CRAP b heard wrote was sickening! And here you go with the whole smells crap! A PERSON OR OBJECT OR ANYTHING SMELLS FOR NO GODLY REASON YOU F#%$^%$ RETARD!!!!!! Your a Black woman, if you rub coco butter all over your body you will smell like coco butter!!! If you rub Chicken all over your body you will smell like chicken! If you rub S$%# all over your body you will smell like S%$#! If you don’t shower for a week you will smell like you haven’t showered for a week!!!!!! Saying that a particular race smells a different way is STUPID a dog smells like a dog that is unless it is pampered and taken care of frequently!!! You are a sick joke! Half of these people in here date interracially just as a fad! For some thing to post crap and break something down about! When you truly love Interracially you don’t give a flying F#$% about all this S%$# your talking about! It just doesn’t matter any more what people think or what percentage of race dates another race! THAT CRAP IS NON-EXISTENT IN THE MIND OR A TRUE INTERRACIAL DATER!!!!! And the guys that smell like to much cologne Means there young, or never had a father figure to tell them to turn it down a little woman don’t like that! Or you just really date some tasteless men! I poured cologne all over me when i was a CHILD! I am grown now!!! Any one who doesn’t take care of them selves can start to smell! I have been all over I have lived in a few different countries! BLACK PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT IN EVERY CULTURE!!!!!! You talk about the American ghetto thing! Yeah it is like that here but I would love for you to see the Ghettos in Brazil, or Haiti, Or Colombia, or Venezuela! It is different every where! All people are different! All people have different smells! If you smell a white person that smells like a wet chicken I can guarantee that there is a black person that smells the same! Some people from Thailand and India smell like curry! That is because they it a ton of curry! But any body that lives there white, black purple or green will smell that way if they eat curry all the time! Your silly and you sound naive! You even talk about the whole Heavy metal thing like Rock isn’t black! Like its different because you do it???? Black folk made rock in roll! Every one knows it! But only idiots think certain races of people smell like wet chicken!
Comment by poetlove on 12 July 2008:
Wet chicken wow, like I previously said I’m not down for the interracial dating thing. But I wouldn’t say all white people smell funny. That’s ike saying all black folk look alike. I came to this site cause I’m an avid blogger and i’m intrigued on interracial dating. I personally love my sisiters, but I like to see why others make that decision. I personally yes do get a little discomfort from seeing sisters dating outside their race. I state also I’m not God so I can’t judge anyone, and if you’re happy with your decision my or nobody else opinion should matter. I just personally again love what I came from black women. As far as the rockerchick thing goes yes that is originated from black people just like ragtime, jazz, the game of chess and the alphabet. I also have a deep fondness for black women in the rocker genre just because they are bringing it back to it’s core, even if most that do it normally date white men. Yes the ghetto’s in Brazil and Haiti are really really rough, that just sticks out to me cause I’ve researched those places thoroughly. I just wanted to stick my twocents in everybody be easy so it won’t be a long day
Al “Enigma poetry” W
P.S where’s rr,
Comment by poetlove on 12 July 2008:
Oh yeah y’all was kinda rough on bheard also. Just like some love interracial dating some don’t and she got ambushed on here for stating her opinion. That’s what blogging is, respectfully stating your opinion. I respect people here because you could sit at home stew about these things but atleast we speak here. Sometimes not that respectfully(there’s always gonna be some). If any sistahs here would like to help with an actual documentary on this email me at s8forlife@gmail.com. You’re comments and thoughts could really help. Like I said i’m not against and certainly not for. I just would love to weigh the pros and cons of black women/white men. There’s always black men/ww thrown in our faces. It’s kind of a lopsided issue, and puts black men in an unfair position. I can ask a sister why she does it and she ‘ll quickly throw out there that y’all do it so why can’t we. I just want to get an understanding of this and what normally leads to it. I know i’m gonna get it but please no weird, sexually suggestive or hate mail. I’m just a God loving man wanting to examine a certain thing that society won’t really talk about except a movie here and there. If you want to give some insight in a tasteful way, get in contact and we’ll be definitely glad to take your concerns/testimonies.
Comment by RockerChick27 on 12 July 2008:
Geneandthem,
Your post is ridiculous.
Please don’t fuck with me, and stop acting like you own the damn thread. I don’t need your permission to respond to a comment you posted on a public website. If you can’t handle the prospect of getting your comments replied to, then stop posting them.
You are so full of shit, geneandthem. Firstly, I didn’t post any assumptions about you. I said that you were critiquing someone’s spelling in a response that held many more errors. I told you to cool it because you were making yourself look like a prepubescent idiot, much like you are making yourself look now. Act however you want, but don’t shit about someone calling you out on it. And it isn’t smart to tell someone to not make assumptions and make them yourself. I read every post before I posted mine (and it took two days). I read all of your 37 page-long posts. Well, I skimmed them, mostly. You take so damn long to say anything. If you’d cut out all of the unneeded bullshit, your posts would probably be less than a paragraph long and much less of a headache.
Take the time to realize that your bitchfests aren’t answering the question, either. I realize that you answered it before, but that was before. Your little rampages are contributing nothing to the discussion, so stop shitting over everyone else’s posts. And you know what? Nobody has to run their posts by you for your fucking approval, so you can stop acting like you’re in charge.
Do me a favor and read the tags the author selected for this article and bitch to me again about how exclusive this article is. Then, actually read the article. With some fucking sense, you’ll be able to conclude that it is not frowning upon comments of black woman toward white men.
You disliking statistics and facts doesn’t make them false. Stop acting like a child. You crying about them doesn’t prove them incorrect. You bitching about them doesn’t prove them incorrect. If you truly want a stance, show me a recent (respectable) study with significantly different percentages. At any rate, I said I was responding to Caribprinces’ post and giving a possible reason why. I am having trouble grasping why you assume I posted the stats to be mean and out of apparent randomness, unless I am a victim of extreme selective reading. (This is obvious though ^^)
I never said I give a flying shit about it. In fact, I said that I can’t smell it. And I am very familiar with the way smell works. I can give you the scientific breakdown, if you wish.
Your comprehension is astounding. I never said it was how their bodies smelled naturally (or not implied in the connotative light). I never said anyone said a whole race smells like anything. If I smell something and think it smells like a frog, then it’s not being mean. It’s just a smell my brain is relating to another. Read: “A lot of people seem to describe A LOT OF white people as…� How is that generalizing the race as a whole? If a lot of people in a particular group can be related to X, then how is it incorrect to assert that a lot of people in that particular group relate to X?
You honestly don’t understand what I was saying? It isn’t complicated.
And you bring hypocrisy to the max. You said that you only date one race, and so did she. So how is what she said any worse? If I were to choose, I would say you’re far worse. The only thing I question of her response is the money, which can still be reasoned with. Maybe she makes that much and wants her husband to as well. Maybe she likes the idea of someone who can support a family. Women are hardwired to be concerned about how well their mate can provide for them and possible children. At any rate, YOU can’t seem to realize that YOU are putting yourself on a pedestal and spitting on the ground she walks on when she is doing the same thing as you. What is so repugnant in her post?
What is wrong with being attracted to who you are attracted to? What is wrong with desiring who you desire? People can’t “choose� what they want. People can’t “choose� who they’re attracted to. It is definitely influenced, but it is not chosen.
In fact, isn’t that why interracial dating is frowned upon? Because so many people don’t have the fucking decency to stop bitching over things they can’t control? If you’re white, and you want to date a black person, it’s so goddamn wrong. If you’re white and you want to date a white person, it’s so goddamn wrong. Whoever you are, if you want to date, it’s such a fucking sin because people like you, geneandthem, can’t get off your fucking high horse long enough to realize that it doesn’t matter. Your uneducated and selfish opinions just don’t matter.
She doesn’t have to have YOUR approval for what she wants. Nobody needs anyone’s approval, especially not yours. It’s none of your fucking business. We should be able to post what they want on this website without being railroaded by people like you.
Regarding the rock situation, please reread my post. You’re fucking with what I said.
I am assuming that you are going to have nothing intelligent to say to me, as you haven’t thus far, so don’t be surprised if I don’t respond back. Once again, I skimmed your response because it is filled with so much bullshit, I didn’t feel like reading the whole thing.
-RoChi
Comment by RockerChick27 on 12 July 2008:
Poetlove, first let me say that I love you XD You are a person who can understand a differing opinion and respect it too! I want to hug you XD
Also, I never said that *all* white people smell like wet chicken or even a significant amount. Please reread that part.
-RoChi
Comment by seancarter03 on 12 July 2008:
I just wanted to join in this interesting topic. I myself am a 27 year old black man from New York, well educated, cultured, and motivated. I can say that I personally love black women, I am not usually attracted to them even though I do find them attractive. I for the most part pick people who I have common interest with and that more often than not seems to be white girls. Growing up in my area I wish there were more girls like RockerChic who didn’t assimilate into the stereotypical behaviors of what black women were suppose to act like. What I find interesting is that the same things that I see a lot of the attributes you praise white men for,(being polite, cultured, open minded, gracious, and outwardly loving) are things I’ve seen a lot of black men criticized for. Its like if we don’t have a boastful attitude or don’t listen to just hip hop we aren’t “acting” black. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked by other black people( mainly women) if I actually loved myself, how could I only date white women. As I read this blog I guess its for the same reason a lot of black women date white men. The things that we aren’t appreciated for in “our race” are the things people of other races love about us. I just wonder why is it so hard to appreciate the things that just make us who we are. The double standards we impose on ourselves are amazing, white people date outside of their race they are just testing the waters, we do it we are self hating, white people who listen to different music and enjoy different foods and clothing styles are called cultured, when we do it we are trying to act white.
I guess these are the bumps on the road to true unity of all people but its so fascinating that in this day of constant scientific and ideological breakthroughs we can’t seem to get pass something as insignificant as skin tone.
Peace and Love Enjoy your weekend guys
Comment by geneandthem on 12 July 2008:
LOL!!! Come on RoChi you read them stop lying! Skimmed my A$$ after that message! With your I might of been born yesterday but I stayed up all night looking A$$!!!!! lol! It would be great to sit and drink with you all night! There would be a lot of deep convo but it would probably end in a fist fight, but it would be memorable! But anyways,,,,, go date your white boys and then go home and analyze it, put a bunch of statistics to it and dwell on it! Oh and worry about all the crap!! Ill be here at home with my beautiful black queen in love not giving a F@#$ about what anyone thinks! Hell we might even rub some wet chicken on each other!!!!! LOL!!!!!
Comment by BIG MAMA on 12 July 2008:
Please everyone, Let’s show each other a little bit more respect.
All of this cussing each other out really isn’t necessary. I know a few comments might have cause this ripple effect. But it was a opinion….Maybe not the kind that you would have agree with. But a opinion.
We can’t control the mouth or the thoughts of others. All we should be able to do is laugh it off and move on. Don’t let it get so deep with you, that you loose your perceptibility on what this Blog is really about.
Comment by poetlove on 13 July 2008:
Rockerchick I love your passion, if you were into brothers I’d be planning to perform in your city soon
Comment by RockerChick27 on 13 July 2008:
Thank you very much, Poetlove =) And I never said I wasn’t into black dudes (though “Since then, I’ve just been attracted to white guys ‘cause they’re so much nicer (personal experience)” can be mistaken. Put the “just” after “guys” instead to better understand what meant). But I have a boyfriend I love very much and I’m happy ’bout that ^_^
Actually, a lot of people tell me I have a lot of passion or that I am very deep. Haha, I donno, but I can tell you that I will kick your ass if I think it needs to be kicked. I also love to get into intelligent conversations.
You know one of the reasons my boyfriend and I clicked? Odd as it seems, we both like to “collect” quotes we like. As in, if we run by a quote we like for any reason, we’ll write it down. Call me silly, but I think you can learn a lot about a person from the quotes they admire, and I ‘find myself’ in some quotes. And sometimes I end up getting an intellectual beatdown, but I love it. I love, love, love progressing in thought. A few quotes I always have in mind:
“We must not believe the many who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.”
–Epictetus
“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.”
–Henrik Isben
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
–Martin Luther King Jr.
“In three words I can sum up what I’ve learned about life: It goes on.”
–Robert Frost
“Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.”
–Malcolm Forbes
“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years.”
–Abraham Lincoln
“Walk with those seeking Truth. Run from those who think they’ve found it.”
–Deepak Chopra
“It is better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.”
–Robert H. Schuller
“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”
–Mark Twain
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes.”
-Proust
There are 10 miscellaneous ones.
I think a lot of quotes about love are corny and cliche, but some are ultra cute, such as (I don’t know who said these):
“Never frown when you’re sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.”
“If you love someone, don’t put their name in a heart, but in a circle. A heart can be broken, but a circle goes on forever.”
“Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.”
And I like humor too:
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the roads and nor have their motives questioned.”
“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.”
“I didn’t lose my mind. I just sold it on ebay.”
I bet you feel like you know me just a little better from reading those. I have three notebooks filled with quotes, with which I am proud. My boyfriend was the first person I met (in real life) who also ‘collects’ quotes. We started sharing them and getting into deep discussions about them and ended up talking for hours. Haha, it’s a great conversation starter. I get excited when I read lists of quotes people love. It’s like I get a sneak peak into their mind.
>.> I was getting on geneandthem about *his* long posts. I think I officially lost that right. All but about two of my posts are very long. Then again, I only have about five posts.
-RoChi
Comment by poetlove on 13 July 2008:
yo who’s the moderators on here, they kinda biased.Nothing rockerchick said should’ve been taken off
Comment by RockerChick24 on 13 July 2008:
You’re right, Poetlove. There’s no reason for them to leave genandthem’s posts but not mine. And what was wrong with my last post? It was on topic!
I’m still Rockerchick. >.> I have to use a different name now.
-RoChi
Comment by BIG MAMA on 13 July 2008:
poetlove,
I agree with you. She should not have been removed. But I do know who should have been removed and told………
YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK!…. GOOD BYE!!!!
Comment by geneandthem on 13 July 2008:
I dont think she should have either, but you cant say The F word Or any other curse words! You have to kind of be DL with your curse words! Maybe she will re-post and edit the Cursing! I like reading her post when she is mad she is passionate like me! Although We dont see exactly eye to eye we really have a lot in common!! I think she is the only person here since the begening of this Blog that I schooled, and then in turn got schooled right back I like that a lot! Every one else really had nothing to say!
Comment by poetlove on 14 July 2008:
So who is the weakest link Big Mama
Comment by geneandthem on 14 July 2008:
WOW!!!!!!!
seancarter03
That was a great post! Not sure why it isn’t showing up yet! I got a message, but I do not see it here in the blog!
Comment by woman2 on 14 July 2008:
So….why do some white men prefer to love black women?
Comment by Flirty1 on 15 July 2008:
*gasp*!! Woman2: Look at you, trying to stay on point. LOL!
Just joking. Somewhere on this page is the answer to that question. I’ve seen it answered a time or two.
Comment by seancarter03 on 15 July 2008:
Hey geneandthem thanks for the response man I really appreciate it. As for woman2 I think the answer is every blog response. We all like PEOPLE for different reason, we might be attracted to certain physical characteristics ie. eye color, height, body type etc but what keeps us there are common interests. All of us have been in love at least once and I know that what might of us brought us to the table was not what made us eat the dinner and kept us coming back for seconds. I know its hard and I know we have been socialized into believe this but lets drop the whole race thing. Lets remember we are just people, human beings, homo sapiens, earthlings lol.
Have a great week guys
Comment by rr on 15 July 2008:
I’m Back… and I have this to say, to “Black n Neva goin back”: You are sooooooooooo fine, I saw a picture of you and you are gorgeous, you’ll find that special black woman and yes she’ll have a backside, not a pasty backless figure.
Gorgeous white skin and beautiful dark brown or black hair
Much success to you..
mmmm… Too fine…
Comment by rr on 15 July 2008:
If there are anymore whitemen, in this blog please show a picture of yourself, you’re gorgeous…
Just as “Black-n-neva goin-back” comment from Apr.21-08.
Comment by rr on 15 July 2008:
And to poetlove:
I don’t think you should say that my comments are hideous and hurtful, I’m just speaking from the heart, just like you have a lot of blackmen that express their resentment towards blackwomen, what is really the big difference? Don’t you guys say that blackwomen or the majority of us are: loud, demanding,unfeminine, fat,have hair under the arm pits,unappreciative and I can honestly say that it is “true” of alot of blackwomen out there and so I can understand why alot of blackmen run from blackwomen, I can understand why.
Comment by rr on 15 July 2008:
To Woman2:
My comment is not loveless and shallow, I’m just speaking from the heart.
You have to understand I’ve been hurted by “BLACKMEN” and I pretty much don’t want anything to do with them, I’m not saying all are bad, but the majority are just cruel.
Question:
If a blackman said something negative of a blackwoman, would you honestly say that his comment was loveless and shallow? or Would you be offended and tell him off?
Comment by RockerChick27 on 15 July 2008:
Okay. I have a lot to say here, so let’s get goin’.
(By the way, I have to officially take back what I said about geneandthem’s posts being really long. I don’t think I can say that anymore seeing as mine are longer >.>)
Firstly, I’d like to address rr and say that I agree. I’ll be the first to tell you that I hate double standards. I got on geneandthem because he was yelling at B Heard because, as a black woman, she likes to date black men and that is ‘bad’ because she’s subjecting herself to one race. However, so is everyone else here. We all seem to have a preference, and as long as everybody’s is our own, it is fine. Bring something new into the equation and it is hateful. I swear, people have got to let go of whatever it is they are holding against these other people; you’re doing the same thing as them. I’ll also say that I despise PC (political correctness). Sorry to give such a low blow, but everybody does not like everybody else. We’re not attracted to everybody. I accept this and I think it’s fine. I personally don’t care about hearing other people’s opinion’s that differ from mine; it helps me to become less sensitive and more understanding. That’s my goal.
Secondly, I’ll address woman2’s post. Lolz, you’re speaking as if everyone can choose what they want. As I said before, everyone is looking for the same things, generally, but the difference is where they think they’re bodies find it. I’d like to know the psychological level and genetic aspects of this. Why are certain people attracted to certain things, scientifically? Heh… I don’t value people’s opinions with stuff like this. I is a science girl
Thirdly, did any of you read my post with a bunch of quotes? I can’t figure out why that one was taken off. I don’t think I cussed in it, and it was actually relevnt to the discussion.
Hmn… I’ll address the other two personally.
-RoChi
Comment by smooches 2008 on 15 July 2008:
Wow, I’ve been reading these posts and I’m just blown away at how off topic some of them are. Everyone here knows that some black men and women posses some unsavory characteristics. Just as any other race of people! OMG the smell thing just knocked me off my feet! I’m an African American woman who is married to a Caucasian man I have never had the experience of having my husband smell like raw chicken or fired chicken or any other food that I personally didn’t put on him myself (mostly fruit). Someone stated that we should leave race out of it. How can it be done when our personal preference evokes a wide range of emotions on each side? We all know that this issue has deep running roots.
With that being said I think the purpose of the question being posed here is of the utmost validity. This is a country where racism and hatred was bred and fed into the minds of many. Many are still pawns in the age old practice. We are bold as we embrace our true feelings of what we desire in a mate. I feel as though it is wonderful to hear why the white man loves the black woman. It feels good to have a man from another race recognize our inner and outer strengths and beauty! We just have to remember that it isn’t the race that attracts you it’s the individual attributes.
In conclusion, I just want to stress if this blog/ discussion forum isn’t appealing to you please don’t voice negative, ignorant, hurtful, and spiteful comments. I think I can speak for myself and others when I say we are happy with who and what we are (interracial daters, lovers, and spouses)! We plan to abolish racism one bi-racial child at a time (joke):-D. No really let’s just love each other the way Christ loves us without any inhibitions, expectations, or a judgmental view. Oh BTW I’m separated currently thats why I have a page up.
Comment by woman2 on 15 July 2008:
To rr:
Oh I understand. I know the pain. I’ve been more than ‘there.’ That is why I responded. I’ve also grown enough to know that all black men are not like the ones who harmed me, namely my father, brothers, uncles, male cousins….etc.
I’m hoping that love will throw off that heavy blanket that we have been under and allow us to breathe and just be women…2….and not have to defend ourselves so. We need love like everbody else…..we may need it more than everybody else.
Comment by woman2 on 15 July 2008:
2 smooches:
Well said……very well expressed….and true.
Comment by xxnjxy on 15 July 2008:
I so thought this thread was over, I read what CaribPrincess said, Im not offended (im mixed but consider myself black) but neither black nor white is better than the other, terrible attitude to take into a relationship let alone to be on this site. But to each their own, I just respect men that respect me, and it so happens I find White men to be way more respectful than Black men, I have drawn the conclusion most Black men are weaker so they opt for white women to feel worthwhile, also due to injustices in our society towards them, white women have been their symbol of success and “whos’s the man now” …..just my observation as I have yet to see a broke black man with a white female on his arm. Strikes a bit of curiosity on my part. With maturity we have to “Let Live” nonetheless.
Comment by geneandthem on 15 July 2008:
smooches 2008,
you are wonderful! That was probably the post best post I have seen in this blog! You shouldn’t last to long! Being single that is! Please more, more, more!!!
Ash,
Comment by 40 Year Old Virgin Speed Dating on 16 July 2008:
Whatz up, I fell blessed that I found your post while searching for 40 year old virgin speed dating. I agree with you on the subject white men love the black woman : Interracial Dating Central Blog. I was just thinking about this matter last Wednesday.
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 16 July 2008:
Hello to all, first time poster. I found this site a few weeks ago and started reading from the top down. A lot of reading and a lot of passion I see here.
I am a white male who just turned 45 and have always been attacked to women of all races, never mattered to me what race you were. There is so much truth in the saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.� I grew up in white suburbia America where at the time was approximately 99% white. Unfortunately the racist stereo remarks would run amuck in school. I thank my Dad for showing me otherwise as he had black friends we would visit as kids. I made certain my son and daughter were raised the same way I was.
Going through life I have meet and become great friends with two black men. One of which I am the god-father to his son. When I tell talk to them about dating black women they bust my ass telling me I have jungle fever. They would then banter me with white men have little penises that is why black women don’t date white guys. I heard all the canard’s in regards to this legend, and don’t accept it nor care to.
Albeit you see plenty of white women and black men, it is a rarity that you see black women with a white man. As doltish as this may sound it began to appear to me that black women for whatever reason were not attracted to white men. Hence my search for answer via the internet and here I am.
For me I find many characteristics and features attractive with regards to black women: skin tone, nice pronounced lips, the way the talk and how they carry themselves so proudly, just to name a few. This is no disrespect to any other race including the white women.
I have always worked in the construction industry so further limiting my access to black as the majority of my fellow workers are men. This past year I went back to college full time and not to my surprise found myself attracted to some black girls.
Question:
Knowing that not all black girls are interested in white men, and not looking to make any of my classmates feel uncomfortable, what cue does a white man look for that a black girl would be interested in a white man?
Any and all help is greatly appreciated.
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 16 July 2008:
Sorry RR, I tried to post a picture as you requested, but I see it didn’t show up. I will look to see what I did wrong and retry.
Cousin_Joe
Comment by seancarter03 on 16 July 2008:
XXNJXY just want to know how can you make a comment like live and let live but then make such a judgmental comment like the one you made in your response. “Most black men are weaker so thats why they opt for white women” I can definitely see why you are single. You have some real self worth issues because only someone who didn’t see the beauty in themselves would take the time to attack others who have found love. How dare you? I myself am with a beautiful woman who happens to be white. I now come on this site because I love the blogs on here. She is educated and career driven, she went to Northwestern and graduated with a 4.0 in pysch and has a job as a school psychologist. I myself am still in graduate school and work as security guard on weekends. I am definitely not broke but I am not as successful as she is and it has no bearing on our relationship. As for the never seeing a broke black man with a white female, why would any worth while female black, white, or whatever want to be with someone who has no aspiration or passion in life. I seriously wish you love and happiness, but start looking at yourself before judging others because you a long with a lot of the women on here NEED to stop the hating.
1. This is an interracial site so stop with the bashing of black men liking of white or women outside of our “race”. We like what we like you complaining about it won’t change it, it’ll only make you look and feel worst.
2. If you feel that you aren’t getting your fair share of attention please take a hard look at yourself, are you what one would call desirable, do you take care of yourself( that means spiritually, emotionally, and PHYSICALLY) there is no reason for a woman under the age of 35 without any kids being more than 20 pounds over weight and you know who you are.
3. Please start seeing yourself for how beautiful you really are. Stop worrying so much about what people are doing to make themselves happy and start focusing on what you can do to make yourself happy.
Peace and love
Comment by smooches 2008 on 16 July 2008:
OMG Ray, those were some twisted remarks! I’M A BLACK WOMAN AND I’M DEEP CHOCOLATE AND BEAUTIFUL (look at my pics! For a lot of black women it’s not about money or what we want our children to look like! It’s about a real attraction to the white male. Its, their attitudes, heart felt compassion and concern, it’s their sensuality, THERE ALSO OF COURSE HAS TO BE A PHYSICAL ATTRACTION! Don’t get me wrong I find men of all races to be desirable creatures! Each with his own set of attributes.
I’m not saying that there aren’t some poor misguided self hating people that see things the way you do. They have been programmed by their inner circles to believe the lie that was set in place by a plantation owner by the name of Willie Lynch. Well if you aren’t familiar let me enlighten you. Mr. Lynch created a letter that went out to all the prominent Plantation owners. On how to cause division among your slaves and at the same time keep them in line. He purposed they treated the lighter complexion less cruel. They were given the more domesticated jobs, while their darker counterparts received the more brutal laborious jobs.
It’s sad but the idea worked; to this day a very small portion of the black community still fall victim of this systematic way of thinking and viewing of themselves. Now fast forward interracial daters or whatever you would like to call us. We don’t view life the way you’ve described. I take it you have never dated outside your race. When you are with someone you don’t look at the man or woman you are with as being white or black DUDE! You see the person that makes you smile when their number comes up on the caller I.D. or the one that ever so gently kisses you goodbye in the morning before work. We love colorlessly, we love without delusion that world is happy to us together, we just simply love DUDE! For the record all women are beautiful and for you to say that a particular race of woman ends up looking like a stereotype is immature and hateful! We don’t need your type of views here! Please if you don’t like what most of us here represent or believe then find another blog.
Comment by rr on 16 July 2008:
To Cousin_Joe:
You’re Gorgeous..
You’ll find the right Black woman..
Comment by rr on 16 July 2008:
To XXNJXY:
I could’nt agree with you more.
Alot of Blackmen are insensitive and not to mention too macho!!
Finally someone agrees with me..
Finally!!
Comment by rr on 16 July 2008:
To XXNJXY:
I could’nt agree with you more.
Alot of Blackmen are insensitive and not to mention too macho!!
Finally someone agrees with me..
Finally!!
Comment by rr on 16 July 2008:
Comment to rayyanna007:
You are soooooooo, right..
Comment by rr on 16 July 2008:
To rayyan007:
You are sooooooo right..
Comment by woman2 on 16 July 2008:
To Cousin_Joe:
A person who responds to everyone with respect is a person worth knowing and probably willing to be known.
Comment by poetlove on 17 July 2008:
Alright rr, i can tell you’ve been hurt and that’s understandable. Generalizing black men though will not get us anywhere. I personally don’t care who you’re dating I just think you should be a little less judgemental. I personally do tell my friends when they make hideous remarks about sistahs to cut it out. I just personally think you take it a little extreme and try to be hurtful to the person that did not hurt you. Asking wether I compare to a white man was insane. I’ve accomplished some things, that some white men would love to say they did and probably vice versa. I just think people on here go out of their way to belittle someone who has a different opinion.
Rockerchick what’s good with you
another quote
“without struggle there’s no progress”
Frederick Douglass
Comment by RockerChick27 on 17 July 2008:
Mkay, geneandthem XD
I feel like your post is lighthearted, but I totally don’t understand what you mean by, “With your I might of been born yesterday but I stayed up all night looking A$$!!!!! lol!”
*thinks*
Maybe you forgot the word after “your,” or possibly, you could mean “you.” No matter which it is, it’s the second part that’s confusing me. Are you saying that you stayed up all night looking AT @$# (pr0n), or LIKE AN @$#, or… possibly licking @$#… o.O
…Why do I think so darn much?!
Anyway, what you said (”Ill be here at home with my beautiful black queen in love not giving a F@#$ about what anyone thinks!”) immediately reminded me of The Kiss by Karmina (http://youtube.com/watch?v=sl4uhCR-GHc). I am completely in love with the song, and it is right on target with how it feels, right?
I prefer my white boys smelling like 37 week old dead pig, but you go on with that piggie, geneandthem!
-RoChi
Comment by tatted2death on 17 July 2008:
Dayum…..dayum…dayum…..(done Florida Evans-style…lol)….
I go away for a week and come back and ALL HAIL has broken loose. I don’t even know where to start. I guess the first place would be with ROCHI…..ummm in your first post (after mine) I saw you “aim” something toward me and then proceed to make a statement that had absolutely nothing to do with anything I said or am about ….BUT, no worries because also as long as you don’t use any “projectiles” in what you “aim” you are still cool in my book (albeit a tad misguided…..BUT hey WE ALL ARE to one degree or another….how boring life would be if we all had the answers). Those quotes were well appreciated…..thanks for sharing.
As for Ashley, I understand his passion (and frustration…..WHEEEEW) more than anyone knows but dayum if that didn’t get a little wild.
I don’t claim to be the most enlightened or most educated person around but I do have an open-mind AND an open heart and I must say it just hurts a little to see people lash out at one another the way they do sometimes. (I KNOW…..I KNOW….then I need to stay my sensitive azz off the internet….lol….believe me I AM cutting back….LMAO). YES, we are human……YES, science is real and envolved in nearly every aspect of our existence….BUT, must we use these facts as EXCUSES for ALL THE BS. (not saying that any ONE person is doing that here so let’s kill that one before it even gets started). The reasons that one may be attracted to another are WAAAAAAY too vast to get twisted up in any generalizations or statistics (not saying that stats aren’t real….Just WHY GET CAUGHT UP IN THEM???….even restating them is just feeding into the propaganda). The core reason that anyone should care for another is LOVE (and yes, I realize how kiddy and cliche that sounds but DAYUMMIT…I don’t care….lol). And if you are wrapped up in the “science” or “numbers” of it then you just might be missing the point.
You know, I understand that my comments are mostly ignored here because they aren’t “sexxxy” or drama-laden but that is fine….I write my peace and move on…..I say this because I know some others will read this and come away feeling that I “attacked” them in some way, shape, or form. (JEEZZZ, if people only knew that I am a “closet” pacifist….lol….not that I run from a “fight” but I AM very choosy about my “battles”). Yes, sometimes debate stimulates some real growth but for the most part nowadays it seems overrated. Because if no one comes away from it having seen “the other side”, so to speak it basically just amounts to a bunch of self-righteous hot air.
All of that being said I am truly glad there is a site/blog like this…(even though WE ALL must recognize that MISINTREPRETATION is the biggest, baddest INTERNET DEMON there is and not take all this schnitzel too seriously…..lol). And I must say I also appreciate the appearance of seancarter03 in this venue…..his statements seem to be on point AND they are expressed with a little compassion thrown in for good measure; very balanced….some could definitely take lessons. (along with a bit of self-editing courses….lol)
PEACE AND BLESSINGS
tatted2death(the only way….for this slightly twisted chica…..to go…*smilez*)
Comment by RockerChick27 on 17 July 2008:
tatted2death,
I enjoy statistics for a reason. I will be in the ‘hype’ if it allows me to be educated. As I said before,just because something is not liked, it doesn’t make it unreal. I refuse to dimiss something because I don’t like it. At the same time, I don’t just ‘accept’ a statistic because it is one. Trust me when I say this: I am a researcher (not as an occupation). I am thorough about being as informed as I can be. Or maybe I just love learning too much? >.<
“OK Ashley now…..breathe….slowly….lol
I see what you mean (yet once again)…..you know they are sent here just to try and torment the TRULY open-minded ones like ourselves so let’s just not waste our lovely keystrokes on them…..LMAO.”
It was aimed at that. Seeing as this thread is about white-black relationships, and most of the people here only date WM/BF (that I’ve seen so far), I wasn’t sure how that is more open-minded. (Then again, maybe I took what you said in the wrong way. In that case, I apologize.) Attraction is not ‘open-minded’ anyway. It is very strict. Only dating interracially is not more ‘open-minded’ than only dating intraracially.
What is being used as an excuse? And for what?
And I am curious (in a nice way XD You’re cool in my book as well). What am I a tad bit misguided about?
Attraction isn’t as complicated as we seem to think it is. It’s very simple, actually, and we seem to want the same things. Where we think we’ll find them is where the differences occur.
Nice pic, btw. Lemme see that guitar!
And I’m glad you like the quotes! I added some more to my ‘collection’ yesterday!
-RoChi
@_@ The mods put my posts back. Thanxx.
Comment by geneandthem on 17 July 2008:
tatted2death,
I love yout post chica! Slightly twisted, or fully you rock!!!!!!
Comment by seancarter03 on 17 July 2008:
Hey tatted2death I really appreciate the acknowledgment sometimes I feel like I am unheard at times or above some people’s head lol. I really like what you had to say, you seem to have such a beautiful insight not tainted by social convention. Keep it up ma.
Comment by RockerChick27 on 17 July 2008:
I went to the store today and saw the second WM/BF married couple I’ve ever seen (in real life). Whoo! The girl reminded me of me! (Totally a rocker!) She had blue streaks in her hair and her lip was pierced. She was so pretty.
Anyway, they had their daughter with them and I saw it was my little sister’s friend. Righteous!
There are a hell of a lot of BF/WM couples in NY (go there frequently), but when you start seeing that in Baltimore? You know we’re making progress!
So… I am curious. How did you guys meet your partners? And hi poetlove! I’m doing fine! I skipped your comment by accident. Geez, I’ll leave and have to read 10 when I come back.
-RoChi
Comment by lovely on 18 July 2008:
I think white men like the color, natural sexuality and exotic nature of black women. Many of them want to date black women, but society and the media makes this seem abnormal.
Comment by sweet Black Love on 19 July 2008:
Im the same way as the guy above me in the comment by lovely,
black woma are soo incredible sexy and i think so much more down to eath than alot of caucasian ones that they just wow me and i just stare at them and wanna make passionate love to one, i saw the one in bed with denzel washington in the movie crimson tide,
I mean when the camera was on here she was my dreamboat wowsie wow wow, my gosh i couldnt take my eyes off her, her eyes her sweet looking lips her overall warmness in the picture and her face i just wanted to be next to her and just love on her
Comment by woman2 on 20 July 2008:
I was married to a latino for many years but I can remember the first time I had an encounter with a white guy at @ 13 years old. I can still remember, what I can now describe, as the look of painful lust in his eyes and his behavior. I was taken aback. I had never been that close to a white boy before and this startled me. This was at a church gathering in a different part of town.
four years ago I fell in love with a man who happen to be white. It was never consummated. There was a lot for both of us to get over. I stil love him but he is no longer active in my life. The look of ‘painful lust’ was not in his eyes or his behavior but the painful look of love was indeed present. He will always be in my heart.
It was after this relationship that I realized the ‘burden of the white man.’ He is prejudged as the oppressor immediately just because of the color of his skin. There is such a terrible distrust of him. His own people chains him.
We all have suffered terrible losses because of myths, lies, and historical baggage. I hope this last taboo will be obliterated so that we can get down to the real problems.
Comment by packer083 on 21 July 2008:
HI i am brandon i am a white guy that just love balck women i think they are the most beauyful thing on this planet earth i like that they can think on there own make chicoces know what they want and i myself think that we should be open to whatever comes in our life.I am still looking for that special women in my life and i think i am apretty good looking guy .
Comment by Quanta on 22 July 2008:
Truth of the matter,a white man does not have to explain to the world why he is with a black woman and he does not berate a white woman because of his preference. When a white man speaks negatively about a white woman he is offending himself. Moreover, he is offending his mother. She was the white woman who gave him birth and without her he would not have had an opportunity to experience a black woman.
I do not need a white man or any other man for that matter, to put down another woman just to stroke my ego.. Love me or F&^% me because it’s your choice.
I believe the answer lies within the individual himself and the person he is sharing the experience with. Despite the reasoning behind his choice, it is his choice.
Comment by shellyv on 23 July 2008:
Why does it seem that now it is a trend for the ugliest african women to date and get pregnanat by the first white man to cross their path. Africans fresh off the boat are the ones that are getting with white men for the so-called “status”.
Comment by tatted2death on 25 July 2008:
HI to All (the few and the proud…..lol)
Oye, Rochi…..when I say “misguided” all I mean is that you obviously are in search of some kind of answers. (AND, like I said, we all are to some degree or another). And you said it yourself that you are a researcher. That is in many ways a scientist (you know this already, I am sure *winx*)
, so in that way you are misguided because science certainly can not be credited with having all the answers of the universe…(ok…now I am waiting for Tom Cruise to come kick my ass….lol).
I am not sure I explained that correctly but know this; I am as about as analytical as they come but sometimes you just have to know when to RELAX, RELATE, RELEASE (100,000 points to those who know where I “borrowed” that from…..lol).
As for the excuse issue that was not necessarily directed at anyone in particular(I don’t know anyone on here well enough to point fingers like that). It would just seem that some (in the world, generally speaking) get caught up in numbers and hide behind them as some sort of defense mechanism. They, themselves, have all sorts of complexes and the only way they seem to be able to cope is by pigeon-holing the entire world around them. I sympathized with them actually……but only to a certain point. It is one thing to be misguided; it is another to be mean-spirited and hateful.
Oh yeah….I was by no means saying that just because I date interracially (and intraracially, btw……just not lately) I should be deemed more “open-minded” than the next person. Actually I was sort of being “funny” in that post directed to Ashley. (again there goes that twisted sense of humor of mine….doesn’t translate well on the Net sometimes…lol). If I recall correctly I think my comment had more to do with some of the hate that was running rampant in the blog. Most times when I use the word “open-minded” I also mean “open-hearted” (as I don’t see the mind and heart as necessarily being separate).
Ok……I know I am all over the map here so let me round it up…and just say that all of us DO basically want the same things BUT I am hard pressed to find someone that truly understands that fact. (not saying that I positively do….but my mind and heart are open to the possibilities within and without)
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
(…ROCHI….I said I owned an electric guitar, NOT that I really knew how to play it…LOL…maybe one day will actually be able to “shred”; I’m working on it…lol)
Comment by rayyan007 on 26 July 2008:
Why white men love the black woman?
From my own Observations,the answer is SIMPLE :For SEX..
For a WM,a BW is an exotic sexual conquest..
White Men want to try something new and unique not found in WW :dark skin,bulging
lips,pronounced ass,nappy hair…..etc,,)
Now, WILL WM marry BW?? According to Statistics,few will…
I must admit that there are some WM who marry BW because they want to prove that they are
not racists or want to get back at their families who oppose such a union or are
seeking a sexual fetish or they simply fall in love.. ..
Now let’s ask the opposite question:
Why would a black woman love white men?
FOR Two Reasons:
1-WM,IN GENERAL, are more industrious,hard working,ambitious,educated,AND
FINANCIALLY SECURE than BM.BW (and actually ALL WOMEN of all races) seek Security
and Protection for themselves and their offspring..The WM is a better PROVIDER and
more committed to his family than the BM..
Asian men(on average) ,however, make more money than WM ,but very few BW marry THEM..Why is that?
This discrepancy can be expalined, IMHO , that Sexual attraction AND FINACIAL ABILITY are BOTH important for women.
Asian men are shorter,have slanty eyes,wide faces and ARE stereotyped to have smaller genitals than WM or BM..
2-No matter what they say,deep down,BW would like to get approached,Seduced,married to, and Ultimately impregnated by WM
because they would like to give their offspring more “lovable” & “desirable” physical features that a
white man has:straight hair,colored eyes,fair skin,pointed & delicate “Roman Nose”..etc…
This is evident in the Black community itsself where light skinned African American Girls are
considered “Prettier” than dark skinned ONES.(Tyra Banks highlighted this issue on her program)..
You must also observe a BW who has a milk-chocolate,blue-eyed,straight haired, Biracial(the father is white) child
parading him/her infront of other BW..See what I’ve given birth to?See how Cute he/she is?
Also ,BW try to look White by straightening their hair,adding hair extensions & weaves,dyeing their hair
blonde,having reconstructive surgeries on their noses to make them look less flat…etc…
For the same reason,when BM achieve material success ,they’ll either marry a light
skinned,skinny ,and attractive Black woman or a “Trophy” Blondy Gal..This is called:”Marrying up
the social & racial ladder”..Poorer BM who marry WW end up , in General, with Fat ,overweight,and ugly
White Trash..
Lets face it Humans are ,after all,social animals…
It is as simple as that….
Comment by seancarter03 on 27 July 2008:
Ray I thought what you had to say was a little interesting. I don’t know where you’re getting your information but saying that white men are more industrious and hard working is false and statistically unsupported information. On average in this country white men make up more than 40 percent of the United States unemployed. Statistically spoken Hispanic Americans are the most industrious and hardworking as their male population’s unemployment is usually far below the national average of 5.5 percent.
A lot of studies have found that one reason a lot of white men date black women is because of the nannies and maids that took care of them when they were growing up and identify with them as caregivers and nurturers. In the 20 years the trend might shift to a lot white men dating Hispanic women.
As far as white men being more about the family and taking care of their home then why is it that more than 50 percent of American marriages end in divorce and if the majority of white men are the major participants then maybe they wouldn’t be the best choice for stability. I’m not saying any of this to offend you I just find a lot of your “facts” to be poorly unsupported ranting and if you want to engage in a thought provoking conversation please at least think before you put hateful and racist propaganda.
Have the decency and respect for yourself and the other members to at least either research your statements before putting them up here or at least say they are YOUR OWN opinions and not try to pass them off as facts. GET AN EDUCATION, LEARN A LITTLE.
Comment by Legalease on 28 July 2008:
Hi All:
Sorry for the hiatus. I have been keeping up with most of the blogs but some of them are just not responding to. For the positive people out there, I have a query: why do we need a reason? I like who I like and want to be with someone who wants to be with me. For instance, Cousin Joe is a cutie. I like all types of men and I want someone who wants me. If you are out there Cousin Joe, I would be pleased to make your acquaintence. If anyone knows Cousin Joe, tell him to check in again.
SeanCarter, I like your style but could you point us to those studies that talks about WM dating BW because they equate BW to being “care givers and nannies”. I would like to research this for myself. I did not know anyone did these types of studies.
Thanks!
Comment by Legalease on 28 July 2008:
Hi Cousin_Joe:
I am responding to your question about what a WM can do to let a BW know he is interested. I cannot speak for any other woman but I know for me, being polite and having good manners is always something which piques my interest. Ask me questions about what I like to do, remebering what I said in previous conversations, smiling, these things let me know a man is interested. Be yourself, I know that sounds cliche, but it is true. If a woman, no matter what color, is going to respond if you are sincere and are a gentlemen.
I saw your picture and you are cute, too bad you are not in NYC, I would let you try your skills on me. LOL!! Good luck and I hope this helps.
Comment by seancarter03 on 28 July 2008:
Legalease thanks for the comment but to be honest I remember those studies from a class I took called marriage and the family. We had a long discussion on what fueled or attractions to members of the opposite sex but as far as my states they can viewed or acquired from your state census bureau, I had to do a report on employment trends. I’m not saying that this is exclusively why white men date black women but I am saying as far as I’ve read it’s a reason given.
Have a beautiful day
Comment by seancarter03 on 28 July 2008:
Legalease thanks for the comment but to be honest I remember those studies from a class I took called marriage and the family. We had a long discussion on what fueled or attractions to members of the opposite sex but as far as my statistics they can viewed or acquired from your state census bureau, I had to do a report on employment trends. I’m not saying that this is exclusively why white men date black women but I am saying as far as I’ve read it’s a reason given. If you are really interested in studying anything like this or other topics I suggest you look at academic journals (entries that are reviewed by that subject matters most qualified members) or even conduct your own study I would be interested in helping, it could be fun. Let me know.
Have a beautiful day
Comment by Legalease on 28 July 2008:
Hey SeanCarter: Thanks for the tip. I would be interested in exploring this topic more. Do you still have the paper? Do you remember the statistical sites you used to get the paper done. I did not know the census bureau kept information more than raw statistics but not explanations regarding why people marry whom they do. In any event, I would love to explore this topic with more sepcificity than some of the rhetoric I have seen on this site. No offense to anyone but some of the stuff that people come up with for explanations as to why WM are attracted to BW are crazy. LOL!!! Anyway, holla at me again so I can get some of that information from you.
Be Blessed!
Comment by simple man on 29 July 2008:
Ladies,
For me it is real simple. My beautiful wife (who happens to be African American) just loves me with an intensity I have never known. I love her with all my being and I have no doubts about her love for me.\
Simple Man
Comment by simple man on 29 July 2008:
Note to SeanCarter03…. a double negative such as “poorly unsupported” is a positive in this case “well supported”. Have a good day. Just being helpful.
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 29 July 2008:
To RR,
Thanks for the compliments.
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 29 July 2008:
To Legalease,
Per your request, I am now checking in.
NYC is not far from where I live. In fact I went on a day trip to Time Square in November.
You proffering yourself to allow me to whetting up on my skills sounds enticing. I trust you know what you’re getting yourself into. Lol. You never know unless you take a gamble. I am not sure if you can furnish emails here. Hope to talk to you more there.
Legalease, it is nice to know there are women in this world who enjoy being treated like a lady. When I open the car door, pull out the chair or attempt to hold hands, the girls look at me like as if this is incongruous behavior. Whatever happened to girls being girls and boys being boys?
I swear I was born one hundred years to late. Lol.
It is the main stream media who continually feeds the racist propaganda to the masses. Unfortunately when the general public retrieves the majority of their news in this fashion it will take blogs like this to begin to breakdown that line of thinking.
So, to the BW, yes WM do find you attractive!
Cousin Joe
Comment by Uruguy on 29 July 2008:
A remote point of view
Hi, ebony girls out there. I’m from Uruguay, South America. We are most descendants from spanyards and italians and I think we’re lacking black girls. You’re welcome to visit us whenever you want to. That’s all I have to say right now. By the way, some of you look hot!
Comment by seancarter03 on 29 July 2008:
Simple man thanks.It was a late night when I wrote that. God bless.
Comment by LegalEase on 29 July 2008:
Hi Cousin Joe:
It is good to hear from you. I work near Times Square. I am not much of a gambler, but you do not look like the killer, so here goes. LOL!!!
It is funny, I often wondered what happened to “good old fashioned romance?” What happened to courting? I think we misunderstand the concept that being equals in the work place does not take place of common courtesy or bringing our humanity with us through the door.
So, if you are willing to travel back 100 years and use old fashioned charm on me, then I think I am open minded enough to take the journey with you. LOL!!
I do not think you can leave your personal email addressed here so we can find a way to communicate through these emails.
I hope you have a wonderful day and looking forward to hearing from you again.
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 29 July 2008:
Hello Ms. Legalease,
I did post my email address which was posted up until a few hours ago, I am guessing the Legal-Ease (no pun intended, lol) of this blog picked up on in and removed it, I tried, lol. I suspect it is part of a Communist plot to keep us separated.
This could turn out to be a where is Waldo campaign. So now the cat and mouse came for us has begun. Tag, your it.
I’m off to polish up my Delorean, you ready for a ride? Due to the price of gas we might only be able to travel back 50 years, you might have to push the last 50 miles, but what a ride it will be. lol
Legalease, considering you’re a Leo, either a belated Happy Birthday or a premature Happy Birthday.
Being new and unfamiliar with this web-site, and considering the web-master won’t let me respond to emails without completing my profile, I will be on a quest to complete it, with in the next day or two. By the looks of this web site I can respond to I have to complete my profile to send I just became aware I need to complete my profile to respond to email
As far as being equals in the work place, it is due to the dismay that Big Brother brings with sexual harassment charges, is why we walk on egg shells, no wonder we are apprehensive on approaching a co-worker. If we, as men, attempt to spark up a conversation we are considered pigs and want only one thing. If we keep to ourselves we are considered gay. I am not in anyway advocating any variety of harassment, but the political correct error is causing havoc on our day to day relationships.
That is my opinion and thoughts from my own meandering experiences.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Cousin Joe
Comment by LegalEase on 30 July 2008:
Hi Cousin_Joe:
I see from what you completed about your profile you are a Cancer and have either recently or will celebrate a birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! My birthday is coming up, so thank you.
As for the Communist/Where Is Waldo Plot, let the games begin!!! LOL!!! I guess we will have to put our creativity to the test so that we may circumvent the “establishment”, LOL.
I am not sure if they will notice the slow moving Delorean moving down this cyber highway for at least 50 miles, with someone pushing, I say, To the gas pumps! LOL!!
Regarding sexual harrassment. I have been approached by men in the workplace and have had varied responses. Men who have approached with respect and integrity, have received favorable responses. Men who act lewd and lacivious have not received favorable responses. I think it is a matter of how you are approached. I have never had to go to HR but I know women who have. It is a topic we can discuss more later.
I hope you have a good day and I look seeing the Delorean pull up. LOL!!
LegalEase
Comment by RockerChick27 on 30 July 2008:
tatted2death (does that mean tattoos?),
I never said or implied that science provides us with all the answers right now. Even so, that doesn’t mean that we cannot look for the answers. There is an answer to every reasonable question. The key is whether or not we have the patience or interest to find it. I ascribe to this way of thinking:
“You need questions; forget about the answers.â€? (A line from a song called “Nobody Number Oneâ€? by Over the Rhine.)
As I quoted earlier, I also believe this:
“We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.�
–Epictetus
There comes power with knowledge, and to me, knowing something is the best feeling. I think that another thing learned is another opportunity to make an impact on the world, positive or negative. Although I may not have an excessive amount of questions, I love finding answers. My questions may be few, but they will never be none. I am proud of that =)
See! Thinking about learning makes me all excited!
Relate, relax, release. A Different World?
I’d rather people seek the number rather than hiding behind their own ignorance and not even considering the numbers because they don’t like them. I think numbers help, actually. It helps put things into perspective. Hiding behind them? I think more people are hiding behind the fact that they’re scared of what the numbers may be.
I don’t understand what you mean in the fourth paragraph. They translate to the same thing in my book. I do understand, however, that the comment was directed at the hate in the blog. It still means the same to me, but maybe I am running in the wrong direction with it. It’s not really important, anyway.
And you need to learn how to play it and fast! You can’t let something as precious as an electric guitar sit there unused! That’s… criminal!
-RoChi
Comment by RockerChick27 on 30 July 2008:
LegalEase,
Why not find the reason? Every effect has a cause; every action has an equal or opposite reaction. Why not expand our knowledge and figure out what it is?
I am not so interested in questions geared at people who do not necessarily know (from a scientific standpoint), but it’s nice to hear what they have to say, whatever it is.
I love learning about the differences between males and females concerning sex and attraction and many things.
-RoChi
Comment by tatted2death on 30 July 2008:
Rochi,
Rhetoric aside, what it boils down to is numbers help you and that is cool. They neither help nor hinder me so I am definitely moving on from the whole subject.
The things I wrote in that (4th) paragraph I really didn’t expect to be fully understood by everyone but hey….. I still am cool with ya for being a A Different World watcher…..that was one of my fave shows back in the day.
As for the “axe”….I actually dusted that thing off today….I don’t know….I guess I am just afraid of getting those callouses (sp) back like I had when I practiced everyday.
Anywho…..Peace and Blessings to ALL
tatted2death (yes, that refers to the fact I enjoy the “inking” process…lol)
Comment by rayyan007 on 31 July 2008:
To seancarter03
My observations are not rantings as you call them.They are not unsubstaniated remarks..
To make my point clearer,I’ll provide you with the “facts” , “Numbers” , and “Stats” that support my
argument.Sorry to disappoint you,but YOUR allegations are FALSE,not mine..I’ve done my homework..
Concerning Unemployment in the USA,you can read the following quote from the Bureau of Labour
Statistics and Judge by yourself..(These figures are for June 2008)..
“The unemployment rate for HISPANICS (7.7 percent) increased over the month, while the rate for
adult men (5.1 percent) continued to trend up. Jobless rates for adult women (4.7 percent), teenagers
(18.1 percent), WHITES (4.9 percent), and BLACKS (9.2 percent) showed little or no change in June. The
unemployment rate for ASIANS was 4.5 percent, not seasonally adjusted.”
So,Hispanics have HIGHER Unemployment rates than Whites and Asians have lower Unemployment rates than
Whites..Blacks have the highest rate among ALL RACIAL GROUPS..
Source:Bureau of Labour Statistics
http://www.bls.gov/cps/
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/empsit.pdf
As for Average Personal income in the United States,it goes as follows:
ASIAN: $57,518
NON HISPANIC WHITE: $48,977
HISPANIC: $34,241
BLACK: $30,134
Source:SOURCE: US Census Bureau, 2006; income statistics for the year 2005
To enertain yourself more check out the following:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_income_in_the_United_States
As for Statistics on Marriage, Divorce, and Living Arrangements,take a look at the following figures:
On the whole, Blacks or African Americans (hereafter called Blacks) have lower rates of marriage and marital stability than
all other ethnic groups. They also have higher rates of single-headed families than other groups.
* Black males and females are more likely to be unmarried than Whites, Hispanics, or American Indian/Alaskan Natives
(AIAN) (42.2% for males, 40.8% for females, compared to 27.5% and 21.2% respectively for Whites, 38.2% and 30.3% for
Hispanics, and 35.7% ad 29.9% for AIAN ).(ACS 2002)
* Black individuals are far more likely than Whites and Hispanics to be divorced (in 2002, 9.4% of Black males were
divorced, and 13.3% of Black females versus 9.1 % and 11.3% respectively for Whites and 5.9% and 9.3% for Hispanics).
(ACS 2002)
* Among married Black individuals, a greater percentage is living apart from their spouses than among married White and
AIAN individuals (15.7% for Black males, 24.1% for Black females, versus 5.3% and 6.3% respectively for Whites and 11.1%
and 12.8% for AIAN). Only Hispanics have a higher rate of living apart from their spouse than do Blacks – 16.2% for males
and 16.9% for females (in many cases this may be due to immigration complications). (ACS 2002)
* Black families are less likely to contain a married couple than all other groups (46.0% versus 81.0%). White families
have an 81% chance of containing a married couple, AIAN families have a 67% chance, and Hispanics have a 67.4% chance.
(Census 2000)
* Single male-headed families are slightly more likely in Black homes than in White family homes (about 8.5% versus 5.3%
for whites.). Hispanics and AIANs have a higher rate of single male headed families (10.3% and 10.4% respectively).
(Census 2000)
* Single female-headed families are far more likely in Black homes than in all other groups’ homes (45.4% versus 13.7%).
By contrast, Whites have a 13.7% rate, AIANs have a 28.8% rate, and Hispanics have a 22.3% rate of single female headed
families. (Census 2000)
* Only 44.9% of Black householders in family households live with a spouse. This compares with 80.6% for Whites, 60.1% for
AIAN, and 70.2% for Hispanics. (Census 2000)
Marriage, Divorce, Childbirth, and Living Arrangements among African American or Black Populations
(Source, Census 2000, http://www.census.gov/population/cen2000/atlas/censr01-106.pdf)
Finally,have a nice day…
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 2 August 2008:
To Rayyan007 and Rochi,
I completely agree with Tatted2death on this.
Any and all statistics can be altered to achieve the special interest and/or PAC group’s agendas. As I scrolled through them I could easily distort and manipulate them to get the results I would need to achieve my agenda. Look where the results allegedly came from, the United States Government via Wikipedia.
Look at the source of those statics. They come from our government who has an appetite for misleading the public to achieve the maximum intimidation money can buy.
They first threaten us with statistics that crime is on the rise and to combat that we need to enlarge the police forces across America On all Lines. Although they increase the number of law enforcement officer’s crime doesn’t go down.
We have more cops on the street today then any other time in history, yet crime is higher then it has ever been. The increases of police officers are statistics used to calculate a false sense of security. In general police officers have become revenue enhancing officers (tax collectors). Don’t even get me going there!!!!!
Lets not forget the government telling us statistically that this past summer the tomatoes where causing the salmonella epidemic, which the tomato farmer paid hundreds of millions of dollar in lost revenue. OOOPS we’re sorry it was the Jalapeño peppers causing the outbreak, well maybe not, well we have no clue, but we are willing to destroy another industry.
I love my country but distrust my government and it’s entire corrupt agenda!!!!!
Besides all the statistics you provided don’t coincide with the alleged divorce statistics.
Who stats are correct?
Whose agenda are they following?
Albeit with all those statistics they still don’t provide any information on why I am attracted to certain women.
CousinJoee
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 2 August 2008:
Rochi,
Scientific? You believe science is the reasoning’s for the attraction between men and women? Nothing could be further from the truth. That is one of the most obscured statement I have yet read on this forum.
Rochi, you stated the following:
“I am not so interested in questions geared at people who do not necessarily know (from a scientific standpoint), but it’s nice to hear what they have to say, whatever it is.”
What ever you smoking please pass the pipe!
Men and women just simply connect with one another for what ever reason and who are we to judge!!!! No science needed!!!! God only knows why.
Attraction is simply between the two individuals involved. Whether you or I like it, it is up to those individuals.
Have you ever observed people at a public event and wonder what makes one person attracted to the other. If the attraction is there they will know it, NOT science!!! Last thing I want is a resurrection of Sigmund Freud analyzing my behavior on what draws my attraction to the womanly features. Whether it is Asian, black, white or any other feasible concoction it will be for me to decide, not some mad scientist!
If there is any question, just look into the eyes, the eyes will tell all!!!!!
Are you further talking about the same science and scientist who that can’t forecast yesterday’s weather, or how about the ones who pilfer BILLIONS of dollars every year for the research of cancer, yet still can’t find a cure? What a joke that industry is, more money is spent on the cure, research, treatment then any point of time yet more people fall ill to that disease today then any other time in history. Sadly our so called scientists finding a cure will displace them onto the unemployment line.
And you want science to get involved on my lust for my soul mate?
With all respect keep that to yourself, the last initiative I want to see is having some mad scientist and his alter ego believing he can stage-manage my feelings.
Please, before some aberrant quack begins injecting LegalEase with a number of Anti-Cousin-Joe vaccines causing LegalEase to break out with the hives when she approaches me, ultimately causing me to inject myself with an antidote before LegalEase and I enter into lip-lock extravaganza, let us decide for ourselves!!!!
Pucker up LegalEase here I come rash and all!!!! LOL
CousinJoee
Comment by Cousin_Joe on 2 August 2008:
Hello LegalEase,
Thanks for the belated Happy Birthday.
I have been circumventing the establishment my whole life. I am not now nor have I have ever been good at following the throng or any form of rules. LOL When the rest of the world zig’s I zag, and when they zag I zig… LOL… Looks like after I finish my profile I may have to pay my pittance to Caesar. To get your figures,
what a small price to pay!!!! LOL!!!!!
As for sexual harassment experiences in the workforce goes and considering I work with all men, I have none. If by some long shot one of my co-workers makes a pass at me, we’ll have ourselves a situation… Lol… Let me get one thing clear no matter how much alcohol I consume, my co-workers will NEVER look better at the end of the night then they did at the beginning of the night!!!!!!! LOL Trust Me on that!!!!! LOL
Okay, the Delorean is running, waxed, and ready to go! As I sit back ready to accelerate who comes across the radio but Frank Sinatra, singing New York, New York, what are the odds? And can you believe Frank accommodated the lyrics to fit us by starting with “Start spreading the news, I’m leaving today, I want to wake up with LegalEase….â€? You gotta love Frank. ï?Š
Well, LegalEase we have had slight change in plans, I just received my invitation to Mildred Delores Jeter and Richard Perry Loving’s wedding to be performed on June 2, 1958. A camera is a necessity, as this wedding will eventually make history, and don’t forget your dancing shoes, you and I are going to get busy!!!
And what ever you believe, don’t let my spectacles deceive you, whether it is Jerry Lee Lewis’s, “Whole Lotta Shakin Going Onâ€?… to Chaka Khan,… to Juvenile’s “Back That Azz Upâ€?, this 6’, 190 lb white boy can get his grove on, and has been known to tear the tiles off the floor!!!!!……LOL!!!!!!
So LegalEase you ready to “Back that Azz up?� :-0
Cousin Joee
Comment by RockerChick27 on 3 August 2008:
Oh. My. God.
That was a joke, right?
…Right?
RIGHT?!
Congradulations, Cousin_Joe, on managing to say the most simple-minded, ignorant and childish thing on this thread yet. I’m not sure if it can be beaten.
Attraction just happens? There’s no REASON for it? Or, at least there’s no reason for finding out how or why? Do you know what science IS? It is FINDING OUT how things happen. Why things happen. It is proven through scientific studies that INFANTS are able to comprehend that things happen for a reason (though not why, obviously), so you should be able to understand this. Every action has an equal or opposite reaction, indeed. Meaning that science can be a part of everything. And science’s purpose isn’t to JUDGE anything. If people knew how things ACTUALLY happened as opposed to spouting bull****, then the world would be better off. No, “Eww! Wite pplz cant b atractide 2 blk pplz! lololol thts innatureable!” or “Homosexualality iz a choeese/It b a sinnn! Sind dem pplz 2 h3ll! Bwahahaha!!”
I don’t even know where to start. This isn’t a debate forum, so I am not entitled to kick your a** with your logic, but attraction does not just HAPPEN. Science tells us this. You know why? Because we have studied it. Through science.
You know what we know? Males and females have different brains. In fact, males and females have almost different everything. Different bones, different skin, different hearts. You cannot seriously say that this does not affect attraction, right? Everythig you do and think revolves around your brain chemistry. Males and females’ focus of attraction is very different because their brains are ‘programmed’ differently. Why not study this? It’s so interesting.
Oh, God. You’re not serious. Different centers of the brain are activated during every activity, including attraction. If someone is attracted to someone else, we can find out through science. Same as love. (Not that we need to, but we can.) We will know. You know why? Different chemicals are released to ensure different emotions. Oxytocin, for example, is associated with love. If you believe that emotions, thoughts, or anything of the like are some obscure, mystical, supernatural force, then perhaps you should get better educated. EVERYTHING one does is because of their brain. Therefore, everything one does and experiences can be tested and explained. Can we explain everything right now? No. But because every cause has an effect, and because every effect has a cause, it can be studied and determined. We’ll find the answrs eventually, but not through “Well, whatever!” Or, my personal fav, “God did it! End of story!!!” We have to be willing to search for the answers.
Guess what, buddy. I never said that science is the REASON for attraction.
I said that because people DON’T always know why they do things. You can’t expect someone to give you the correct answer because they’re them. Does everybody know WHY they get hungry or the systems involved, simply because they get hungry?
Attraction cannot be “decided” by anyone, including you. If you like someone, you can’t just “turn it off.” Similarly to how you can’t just “turn on” some attraction light bulb. Your body will react whether you want it to or not. For this reason, why not FIND OUT WHY?! HOW?!
YOU do’t have to. You don’t even have to care about what we know or find. But let US do OUR jobs, and you can go piss in a sink, for all I care.
As for the statistics bit, don’t think I don’t know this. Don’t assume every statstic about America is from a project based in America. And I know this. That is precisely why one should check back to the source (not who did it, but how they did it).
Do you assume these are worthless and incorrect?
1) All the “perfect body” adds are affecting little girl’s perception of health and beauty.
2) Males are affected by the male body propaganda as well, just not as much as females.
3) Those who watch more than one hour of violent television a day tend to be more aggreesive.
4) Most Americans are overweight.
5) Most Americans need to learn more.
How do you think these are known? Through guessing?
I don’t know. What you said is so ridiculous and childish that I MUST assume it is satire. If it is not, please don’t embarass yourself further by admitting it.
If so, then anyone who thinks like you ought to be slapped. Hard.
Let me guess. You probably think these have no answers or are subjective:
1) Which came first? The chicken or the egg?
2) If a tree falls down in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
3) If a red tomato is sitting on a table, but no one is around to see it, is it still red?
Go ahead. Take a shot. They all have answers and we know them. This is why American public school systems = phail. These questions should be basic, yet people continue asking them like they are the most mystical questions ever.
And, for humanity’s sake, I hope LegalEase is injected with that. Until you get educated, your chance of producing offspring should be null. We don’t need you infecting children with your nonsense. I’m not sure which is worse—advocating hate or advocating ignorance. Then again, hate stems from ignorance. Knowledge is key.
-RoChi
Does the coding system work on this website? Testing:
[i]Italics[/i]
[b]Bold[/b]
[u]Underline[/u]
[url=http://www.interracialdatingcentral.com/blog/why-white-men-love-the-black-woman.htm]Link[/url]
Comment by RockerChick27 on 3 August 2008:
And, yes, that’s the end of my rant and likely the last thing I’ll have to say to Cousin_Joe, unless he’d like the answers to the three question, for which I’d be happy to respond.
And I guess the coding system doesn’t work. Bummer.
And, Cousin_Joe, I apologize for my rudeness.
Tatted2death,
Righteous! I’m glad you like tats! What do you have and where (unless it’s innapropriate o.O)
You’d better become a regular player! Or I may have to hit you with a fish! I want your progress on Youtube!
My mind is hazy with all of this, so forgive me if you already posted. What’s your story? Do you have a hubby or a lover or something? HOw’d you guys meet?
-RoChi
Comment by Jean on 3 August 2008:
Well, I’m a little mature but I have never had a problem attracting white males or talking with some them regarding politics, racism, and going out to dinner. I fine some white males are just handsome in their own right.
Comment by tatted2death on 3 August 2008:
Well, Rochi….
Besides the fact that I agree with quite a few things that Cousin Joe wrote (I guess that means I’ll get slapped HARD…W/ a FISH……LOL), I think we are still on good enough terms for me to divulge the requested info…..tee hee (curtsy laugh)
Tat #1 on my chest (centered in the cleaveage) is a tribal abstract flame
Tat #2 on the left side of my neck is a phoenix (again think more tribal)
Tat #3 on back of neck is an abstract sort of like the one on my chest (have been thinking of linking them to create a “necklace” of sorts)
Tat #4 on the outside of my right calf is a Metallica ninja star with flames coming up from it(yes, I like these guys……and respect their longevity in the biz, but more importantly their music helped get me through some rough spots in my life)….the effect with shading makes it come off looking more like some kind of mythic sword.
Tat #5 on my left hand (between the thumb and index finger) is a mantra for love and compassion (Om Mani Padme Hum)in Tibetan script
I look upon all my tats as being spiritually-based (i.e. would never get someone’s name…lol)…..And they help remind me that I have to stand firm to my convictions and continue to TRY and balance my thinking mind with my dreaming/feeling soul. Maybe that is just how I cope or whatever but it is me (in a way). I personally don’t think either side (scientific vs spiritual) has it completely figured out but BOY would I love to have a front row seat when they truly forget all the infighting and come together….THAT would be a beautiful thing (considering there is more in common there than the surface let’s on)
I am single as a dollar bill but have dated quite a few men of various races (personality just has a way of effing things up sometimes….if those are not compatible you can just fuggeabouit). I guess I have joined this site/forum to just see what’s out there; what makes people tick. I have been here (on and off) for a few years and there is one thing I have noticed….more than 50% (rough estimate there….lol) of the people on here either don’t really know what they want or are afraid of it when it stares them in the face. So happily-single I’ll stay until someone proves me wrong.)
OR MAYBE I am just a “prototype, never even considered for mass production”…”too weird to live, too rare to die”….and will be one of those Anti-social, Loner People…..lol.
Peace and Blessings to ALL
tatted2death
Comment by seancarter03 on 3 August 2008:
Tatted2death I definitely don’t think you’re weird sweetheart I always enjoy reading what you have to write and Rockerchick from what I was reading between you and cousin joe I think his point was more that science can’t always assume the answers for what we are attracted to is such a simple thing. Like A+B will always equal C. Are we influenced by outside forces like societal pressure and media yes but I don’t think we are robots incapable of finding what we as individuals really like. Like I do find the women on television and movies attractive but that does not mean anything other than I’d like to bang them period. Being with a girl for the long term comes from something so much deeper and I think at this point in human development we aren’t at point to accurately say what makes you want to be with someone. Part of it is a little “supernatural” a little mysterious. I’ve been in love and nothing my previous history could have prepared me for that feeling, it was just the right time, right place, right person and its something that can’t be simply duplicated as science would lead us to believe with certain actions.
Cousin Joe that comment about if scientist found the cure for cancer would lead to a lot of them to the unemployment line is a little inaccurate. If someone found the cure for whats killing people world wide by the millions per year they would insanely rich, pharmacutical companies would love to bottle that stuff and sell it at astronomical prices. Saying that science is often inaccurate is a fair assessment but you make it sound like it doesn’t serve as a great tool to understand our world and the design of the creator/God/ whatever you want to call it.
Comment by RockerChick27 on 4 August 2008:
Tatted2death,
You are allowed to agree with whatever you want, though I’m not what you agree with considering nearly everything he said is false, but whatever.
As for me, I highly regard science simply because I refuse to be ignorant. This does not mean that I need to know all the questions and answers of the universe(s) or that I know everything. It just means that I wish to be as informed as I can be. As a child, I believed a lot of things simply because everybody said to, and I am still somewhat ashamed. I know that this is what children do—believe whatever, but knowing who I am now, I still have trouble stomaching the fact that I used to believe those things. Probably because virtually 100% of the rest of my known family still believes them, and I am still ridiculed for it. They are all just incorrect assumptions many people today still ignorantly hold to be true, and back with nothing but bull****. Maybe it also has something to do with me witnessing how they are and fearing becoming like them. That’s a BIG nono, lolz.
I am not saying that I don’t try to think things out for myself, as some questions are not scientific and can only be approached philosophically (attraction is not one if them, unfortunately Dx). But I still don’t like to just think about things with nothing guiding me. Where does that get me? What’s the use of an opinion with absolutely nothing behind it but thought? It’s not like human thought has to coincide with logic and evidence. Proof of this is the obvious amount of ignorance in the world today. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that thinking on one’s own is not important, as many important questions and answers come about through this. However, I find no value in a thought that ultimately ends as a thought and progresses into nothing further. Well, besides its entertainment value, I suppose.
Your tats sound way cool XD Do you plan on getting any more?
Just so I know, how bad did the one on your chest hurt? I want to get one there as well, but I b feerin’ da payne… ^o^
As for me, I have two dragons; one on each arm. I know it’s cliché but I love love love dragons! They’re so awesome…
I’d say that approximation holds true for the population in general, actually.
You’ll find somebody! If not, you can always pull a Plankton on Spongebob… >.<
As for you, Sean Carter, you didn’t clearly read my post because you’re saying things I never said and your points are way off base anyway. I am tired now but I will tackle your reply when I wake up.
-RoChi
Comment by LegalEase on 5 August 2008:
YIKES!! I go away for a couple of days and all H3ll breaks loose.
Now before anyone injects, infuses, dowloads, or in any other way integrates me with anything, I reserve the right to revist this issue in the future. For the record I do not think that spirituality and science are at odds but that is for another time. Right now I am trying to get caught up on some pressing issues so I will cut to the chase.
Hi Cousin Joe:
Yep, that’s right, you know HE was going to be the first order of business, LOL!
Despite RockerChick27’s serious doubts about your gene pool, I would like to take her advise and use some scientific techiniques of my own to get to know you better. LOL!!
What is that I hear in the distance, could it be the one and only Frank Sanatra? You got it baby, New York, New York!!! Remember this is the city that does not sleep
As Billy Joel put it, you have to be in a New York State of Mind, so take your B12 vitamins and eat your Weaties.
I have RSVP’d to the Jeter/Loving invitation and let them know I would be bringing a guest. They live in VA so I hope your Delorean can make it and I hope we are not broke by the time we get there.
Talk to you later.
LegalEase
BTW, I hope your music collection includes some socca because this Afro-Carib child can grin’ up wid de best uh dem.
Also, Tatted2death, I do not think you are weird, I like your vibe, SeanCarter, I like your heart.
One final note to all, I like this site because I believe it, at least for me, is unique in that I have not come across any other forum which is specifically designed to address this issue (BW/WM). Having said that, I do hope that we remember to respect one another in our opinions and responses. I have read many things which I do not agree with but I am respectful of the person’s right to have and express them in an open forum. In your right to disagree PLEASE let us remember we have a responsibilty to be respectful in how we respond.
Consider me officially off of my soapbox!!
Have a great day everyone.
Comment by tatted2death on 6 August 2008:
First all….to everyone….thanks for your kind words…..but let it be known that that actually was just a quote from one of my fave comtemporary authors (Hunter S. Thompson…..R.I.P.) that I always felt gave a little insight to how I feel about myself. I actually love being “weird” (meaning a bit different/”marching to the beat of my own drum”). But yeah, I really don’t strive to be “weird/unique” when in comes to my views on the human soul and my love for nature and the creatures of this world. I truly hope that there are lots more that think the way I do when it comes to those sort of things…..*smilez*
Anywho…..(to Legalease)personally, I don’t think the worlds of science and spirituality are at odds either, but for some there is a perceived “war” (and as with all “wars” there is a lot of propaganda prepetuating it). And some don’t think a true scientist could be a “holy” person or vice versa. My statement just addressed the desire to see the “veil” lifting and all of humanity experiencing some degree of enlightenment when it comes to various philosophies.
(to Rochi)….I mostly agreed with Cousin Joe’s acknowledgement that statistics can ( and most defintely ARE alot of the time) to suit certain agendas. I just have the outlook that most statistics are like the Bible (not disrespecting anyone’s faith here) in a lot of ways. Yes, it can be looked upon as the “word of God”(”fact”) but it was written by MAN, therefore is subject to “creative adaptation”(”fiction”). And if you (YOU, in the general sense of that word) blindly believe some parts of the Bible and don’t allow yourself to think independently it will have you all twisted up (And NOT in a good way…..LOL).
These polls and “scientific studies” that are conducted are sometimes overseen by people that have no REAL personal experience in the field that they are examining. THAT is where I have the problem. To me, personal experience is akin to “having heart”……having lived something before you speak on it. And very rarely will you find a “lab rat” with some true “heart” (they have known virtually nothing beyond the “lab”…think of Pinky and the Brain trying to “take over the world”..lol). This is just my take on it because I really prefer to actually live my life rather than have it summed up by a scientist that has never walked a day in my shoes.
Now with that being said, I also must state that I am really speaking of extremes here..people that either don’t think for themselves or are SO independent that they don’t see/feel the “connection”. I don’t think you are either of those, ROCHI. But again that is my opinion and I don’t expect that to carry much weight with you. I only address it to let it be known that I am not at odds with you (this “twisted chica” never has really thrived on conflict….lol). I guess, in life, I have pretty much always gotten a kick out of finding commonalities (not saying that I ignore differences….Those will ALWAYS be there).
Ok….as for the tats….I think it needs to be said upfront that I have a sort of high threshold for pain and the inking process is actually sort of pleasurable for me; providing a “high” that really can’t be described (hearing shouts of “Freak!!!!” are not uncommon). Told ya’ll I was “weird”….LOL.
Hail, even my artist looked at me like I was crazy for getting my VERY FIRST tat on my neck….LOL.
….but to answer the question, no, that one on my chest did not actually “hurt” for me. So if you also have a high threshold….GO FOR IT.
…and, HAIL YEAH, I want to get more. In fact I have been looking into “tapping” (where they go REAL ol’ skool and basically use special “rocks” of various shapes to ink you up). And I have been designing tats for people for a long time but for some reason I can’t seem to make up my mind on the next one I want..(probably either the “necklace” thing or an elaborate tribal for my back…maybe)…go figure….lol.
Peace and Blessings to ALL
tatted2death (”MUSIC is MY BOYFRIEND”….that luv will never die.)
Comment by tatted2death on 6 August 2008:
statistics “can be manipulated”……..gawrsh I need more sleep…..lol
Comment by miccinelli1 on 8 August 2008:
I like the presence of color in the skin, texture in the hair, fullness in lips and a little somthing in the rear … and of course a good personality to go with those attributes.
Comment by yryrizaaol on 9 August 2008:
Why analyze something that feels good? Just enjoy it. Analyzing it kills the enjoyment.
Comment by RockerChick27 on 9 August 2008:
Okay. I suppose I’ll go straight down. I’ll try to make this quick (I’m posting these together).
SeanCarter,
Judging from what CJ actually wrote, I don’t think that’s what he meant.
“Men and women just simply connect with one another for what ever reason and who are we to judge!!!! No science needed!!!! God only knows why.
Attraction is simply between the two individuals involved. Whether you or I like it, it is up to those individuals.�
That’s the key point, I suppose.
At any rate, I never said that finding out how this stuff works is “simple.� You’re not implying that “That’s just how it works! No science needed!� is more complex than actually finding out how it works, are you? And, as far as I’m concerned, its complexity doesn’t matter. Who cares how complex it is? We just shouldn’t attempt to find the answers because they may be hard to find? Call me crazy, but I like finding the solutions to tricky problems.
In science, it will always be A + B = C, A and B being the cause(s) and C being the effect(s). As for your attraction bit, sorry to burst your bubble but evolutionary biology has got a sound explanation for that. See, this is what I am talking about. You knowing *what* =/= you knowing *why* or *how*. As for it not being able to be duplicated, you’re wrong. If we test which chemicals were released to make you feel this way (which I suppose would be the same ones as everyone else), then we can ‘duplicate’ it. Am I saying it will be easy? Hell no. The brain is tricky enough as it is, but saying it’s impossible is crass.
As for the outside influences bit—here’s the glory of it—they don’t matter! You know the situation itself is not important, but the person’s reaction it? Same thing here. The brain processes everything, and that’s all that needs to be tested. The outside circumstances are crucial to finding out their link to the brain’s reaction, obviously, but the brain itself is the focus.
I think you’re confusing supernatural, paranormal. Emotions definitely are not beyond the scope of science (the basic definition of “supernatural�). Just because we don’t know everything about them doesn’t make them beyond anything. And don’t confuse “mysterious� and “supernatural� for “fascinating.� I’m not saying it’s not interesting to the extreme. It’s just not “mysterious� to the extreme. Emotions are some of the easier things to tackle.
-RoChi
Tatted2death,
I was going to tell you that you should be happy if you’re “weird� or whatever. What’s worse than being normal? What *is* normal? Fulfilling a stereotype? I say be who you are and be on the lookout. You’ll totally find someone. Have you considered match.com or eharmony.com or chemistry.com? I’ve never internet dated, but maybe it’s worth a try…
As for spirituality, seeing as the very definition of “spiritual� conflicts with science, I’d say they are somewhat in opposition. One can’t both believe spiritual concepts and scientific ones. Obviously EVERYTHING won’t conflict, but many things will. And there IS a war >.> At least with science vs. Christianity (can anybody say decent Sex Ed in school [as opposed to abstinence only]? Creationism being taught in science class instead of/in addition to common decent, masturbation is horrible, etc.?) Do you remember when The Golden Compass and The DaVinci Code came out? My God, how many Christians protested that? Personal beliefs aren’t really the problem (unless the beliefs are harmful and one acts on them), but when the beliefs become publicized and normalized (undertones in government law/schools/equally important settings), it’s a problem and a war. The president doesn’t think that atheists are/should be allowed to be Americans. Eck. He’s far from the only one who agrees with this, sadly. Religious conflicts are one of the main causes of the *majority* of modern wars, and probably ancient ones as well. As for what you ACTUALLY said, what are some philosophies you wish humanity to “unveil� to itself? (Out of curiosity ^^)
I agreed with that as well, but I don’t think all statistics should be regarded this way (not that you said they should). We have to believe SOME are good. I don’t care about statistics so much anyway. Very rarely do I stride to find them. For the record, I have a problem with misusing the power of statistics. I remember this one popular statistic that made it seem as though many parents were starving their kids. Firstly, it was a questionnaire, which is phail. Secondly, it was forced answer with crackpot answers, which is also phail. They basically concluded (just to phuck with the public/make a popular story) that parents were “starving� their children because they wouldn’t buy Macaroni and Cheese every time their kid wanted it.
About this “having heartâ€? business, from what knowledge are you postulating that most of these people do not have personal experience? And why does it matter? Do YOU need to have been raped to assess an average on how many people are raped in America? Personal experience has little to nothing to do with it. Or at least explain to me how personal experience will alter the results for the better. Bear in mind that personal experiences NEVER accounts for the whole because they are subjective. YOU experiencing something doesn’t mean you automatically KNOW something about someone else who has experienced the same thing. Does it help? I suppose it depends on what the issue is. Does a depressed person know off the bat that their Serotonin is probably out of wack simply because they are depressed? If I am schizophrenic, can I explain to another schizophrenic that Dopamine is a key factor *because* I am schizophrenic? Personal experience is not a factor of explaining what, how, or why. You preferring to “live your lifeâ€? is fine, but don’t assume that a scientist *can’t* “sum your life upâ€? (not that you said that). I guess I have to say this—nobody said it’s the easiest thing to do. I’m just saying that it basically can be done.
I never suspected we were at odds. Call me a debater, lol. I like to find commonalities as well. Let’s just say that we can find MANY more looking on the inside (literally… not with the mind) than with just looking on the outside. Quite yummy XD
I have a fairly high pain tolerance too… AND I ALSO FOUND IT PLEASURABLE! I thought I was just weird, haha! But I don’t think I can handle this traditional pounding the ink in with rocks, of which you are speaking. Meep. I think that might be too much for me…
Do you like piercings too, or just tats?
-RoChi
Comment by MackWhiteDaddy28 on 10 August 2008:
I love the ladies…but especially hot black women. My current soon to be ex wife is black; she used to be really hot when she was younger…is really tall and I signed her up for proffesional modeling when she was 17, and again at 20.. and she got me hooked, but now she is 22 and a total high maintenance psycho bitch drama queen with issues who eats ice cream like its going out of style, but before I seguway on towards another tangent.
My new girl is way fly…we’ve had a mutual crush for well over two years. I met her at work, but never acted on anything because I was tryna make it work with