I was going through various interracial dating articles the other day and I bumped into this comment. My first reaction was WTF! Are we ever going to get past black and white dating? Are we ever going to let Black-White interracial couples just be? Well this I had to share:
“I feel that interracial dating among minorities is fine, such as Black and Asian, or any other person of color. My problem with white and black dating is the history and also the way Black people are treated by White America still today. I believe the only reason Whites want to date Black people is to further divide our families and our communities, love has nothing to do with it. When Black men and women stood together, our communities were stronger, our children were better off as a whole and economically our communities were more vital. Please don’t be fooled by White people’s trickery anymore. And furthermore, in America there has always been interracial dating. This time Black women are not being taken behind the wood shed, they are making the decision to be with White men. How can sleeping with the enemy be beneficial to any person of color? … The majority of White people in this country are still racist, even the ones who date outside of their race. Talk to some of the people who have married Whites, especially the White women are the most racist of them all. She hates Black women and loves the Black man?”
Since this person is saying black-black dating made the black communities stronger, I believe he or she also means dating Whites makes the communities weaker. And if this person is for interracial dating within minorities, how does that make the Black community any stronger? I thought interracial dating is interracial dating. The composition doesn’t matter. Should we really be dragged behind by the history of slavery? uuuuuuughhhhhhh!!! Snap out of it!
Enough about my opinion. What do you think?
Tags: black white dating, interracial dating, interracial relationships
Popularity: 12% [?]
Comment by sweetforlife on 14 August 2008:
I have read several articles on this website regarding interracial dating. I am wondering did I make a mistake by joining this website? The comments about race is out of control. Why can we all just get along and respect each other for who we are and not by our skin color?
Comment by happy2bjai on 17 August 2008:
Who ever wrote this article obviously has way 2 much time on their hands! I’m so sick of the whole we used to b slaves thing. That was clear before our time, so why r some pple trying so hard to hang on to it. The past is the past, you learn from it pick up and move on. None of the white pple today had anything to do with the things happened back then, so why try and hold them accountable. White pple who are in a relationship with black people obviously are not raciest or they wouldn’t b with them.
And this whole thing about black & white interracial dating weakening the community is true 100% bull! If anything it is making it stronger. It is teaching the generations to come to b color blind and look at people for what they are… people. Whether good or bad, not whether black or white.
Comment by Cityboy55401 on 17 August 2008:
In spite of this point of view, the younger generation is going to save us all. When I walk down the street and I see interracial couples–of all colors and ethnic combinations–it’s very exciting. After centuries of hatred, oppression, racial sabotage, and ethnic indoctrination, this generation of young adults is finding its own way in what appears to be a new era of humanity.
Will they all be happy? No. Relationships and marriage are tough, whatever the composition of the people in them. But, they have gotten past what so many preceding generations were unable to. And, I think it’s one of the most exciting and promising things to happen in my lifetime.
Comment by sexythickfun on 17 August 2008:
I can’t believe that this person had the audasity to even write this blog. I have ALWAYS been with nothing but black men. My first was and my last will probably be also. I am in no way, shape or form racist towards black women, or black men. I am against anyone who has this type of ignorant view. I am against anyone who is trifling, demeaning, racist, or anything to that effect. Now, also, as a white woman who has primarily been with only black men, I can tell you one thing that does still exist as a problem between mixed couples who are black and white is that I find that the majority of black men out there now go get with a white girl because he thinks she will let him get away with anything, and still choose to be with him. I chose this lifestyle sure enough, and thought racist people were complete morons. I married my husband because I loved him, unconditionally, and not for reasons of splitting up the black community. That is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard. It just so happens that white men do not attract me. Never have, so if you think I am doing it for that reason, and if you knew even half of the bull i went through with my husband before he died 6 years ago, and stayed with him through it all, you would know that it for damn sure was not to seperate a race. Grow up and get a life, and get off of an interracial dating site you moron.
Comment by 1sweetblonde on 24 August 2008:
The double-standards that are embraced by so many closed-minded people only serve to perpetuate the division between races. When opinions such as those of the author are voiced in such a public forum, it serves to further incite racism. It defies logic. We are all members of the HUMAN Race.
I understand that racism is an emotional issue, not so much one based upon fact and logic. Nevertheless, when one applies such hatred towards a group (such as hating white women who date black men) then the hatred is taught to yet another generation, and thus perpetuated.
Ironically, according to the black men I’ve queried (granted, not a scientific poll) the reason they choose to date outside their ethnic group is because women of their ethnicity have displayed an attitude like that of the author of the article. That “attitude” and “drama” is what they are trying to escape.
It saddens me that so often, the SAME people who cry for equality or affirmative action or who complain about being treated “differently” are the people who turn around and treat the “offending” race with such disdain as the author. They drive the wedge deeper, then seem alarmed that the wedge exists. What hypocrites!
Equal treatment is equal treatment - whether whites toward blacks or blacks toward whites or any other ethnicity. God doesn’t love one skin color more than another. How can she (the author of the article) think she knows more than the Creator of our universe? I pity her - not for her color, but for the smallness of her mind.
Comment by cinnamon1111 on 24 August 2008:
to sexythickfun. why is it that white women always think it is about them. If white women dating black men is or is not breaking up the black community, who cares? black women who date white men have long abandoned the “save the black race ideal” I date only white men and when I see a white woman with a black man. I could care less. I’m with who I want. the only problem I have with bm/ww relationships is that black men make a constant point to ww why they do not want them and why they are so glad that they are not with black women. I feel that once bm leave and decide to date ww. bw should not even come up in the conversation. I hardly ever mention bm when talking to my white dates. for what? I do not even interact with them in my social world. and as for you saying you like bm just for love. that is a crock. you date black men because you are very heavy, and white men are not attracted to that. if you were thin you know for sure you would be with a white man. you also know that black men treat you better as well. it is so funny, cause I date white men because they are much nicer to me and we treat one another with respect. I guess somtimes you have to date outside of the box to get what you want
Comment by EJGreen on 25 August 2008:
I’m not going to pretend as though tensions no longer exist between races. I admit, however, that I’ve never heard of this argument against interracial dating before. To think that people date interracially for the sole purpose of breaking down the black/white communities is ridiculous, in my opinion.
There is nothing more uplifting than seeing interracial couples holding hands and sharing their love for each other. People committed in these relationships are in them because they chose to be in them. They share a deep, spiritual connection with each other. I can’t fathom them putting on an act simply for the sake of breaking down their respective communities.
We could have heaven on earth if humanity could set aside their prejudices. Unfortunately, there are still those people out there who would rather drive a wedge through the middle of the crowd than celebrate the fact that we’re all one.
Comment by blueandrogen on 25 August 2008:
well…. for starters i am a 27 year old white male, i am a very new age person, an old peacfull knowledgable soul. i refuse to stand for ignorance. i have like black/african american women since i was in elementary school. by the 7th grade i KNEW i would love and give my whole heart to a lady of color. even though i have dated 4 other races since coming to this understanding, i still knew my hearts destiny stood to be captured by a black woman.
i came to these ideals of love before anything or anyone could get to me or put alternative ideals in my head about any kind of choice i would have in the future. with my new age nature, it wouldnt of mattered even if they did. its just natural to me to want companionship with a black woman.
alot of new age people were aware of theirselves, choices and independence as a child. most born after 1975 probably felt this. these are the kinds of people that will help blow down ignorance walls. because we see the relevance of connecting on higher levels and we know we CAN choose any “type” of mate we like. new agers need a variety of people to choose a true coonection with because of the expanding conscience awareness that the possibility of love is the size of our own planet, NOT the size of our personal race. these things will show what the future is made of…intelligence. people who refuse to flush old ways will get washed away in the tidal wave of natural human evolution.
that being said, i think it a shame that black women constantly harp on one another over the issue of id of white men. i personally think that it is about TIME black women get to choose who ever the heck they want to love. dont you think black women deserve this? why cant a black woman be happy the way she wants? why cant she be consciencely free enough to see her choices in life ? why must she be held down even after she knows her freedoms? dont u think she has the RIGHT to choose, where she never had it before?? THAT is what u take from slavery ;She didnt have choices before, but now she does. and again u want to take it from her….MAKES NO DAMN SINCE TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by chiman on 25 August 2008:
fortunately most respondants to this ignorant blogger are intelligent and have a good sense of right and wrong so i dont feel i need to respond directly to all those ridiculous accusations. i would just like to say that I think we all overthink this interracial dynamic. Personally I think it just comes down to preference without any racial subplots, overtones or weird ulterior motives. whats wrong with someone wanting to be with someone because they prefer darker skin and they have alot in common. Or they prefer lighter skin and they happen to like all the other im portant character traits. I dont think anyone wants to be with another solely for the color of their skin, but even if that were true as long as you dont discriminate against other races or religions, whats wrong with that. We like what we we like, and as long as you dont hurt others thats fine by me. I happen to prefer green apples over red. That doesnt mean I dont appreciate red apples or I think people who eat red apples are less important than me. If thats what you like, that should be celebrated. Its only the insecure and true racist who have a problem with people who excercise their alienable right to free choice.
Comment by Dire-Wolf on 25 August 2008:
Funny, we always treat the whole black/white issue in terms of race. I think it’s more an issue of culture.
With the end of slavery in the US, African Americans, for the most part, lived in a separate society. Sure, there was a symbiotic economical relationship with European Americans, but socially, both cultures were separate. This allowed African Americans to develop their own customs, music, cuisines, etc.
Over time, as the economic ties grew tighter and popular communications advanced, the cultures assimilated into each other more and more. Now, through Hip-Hop, the two (not to mention countless other cultures) are closer than ever. Partnerships and marriage, the most intimate forms of social bonding are a part of this cultural blending. This will, inevitably continue.
Regardless, some forces & individuals in each culture see their inherent uniqueness being threatened by this fusion.
Comment by SingleMom_ 24 on 27 August 2008:
I think it really doesn’t matter what race they are, just as long as they both make each other extremely happy, then they can be with who they want to be with and shouldn’t care what anybody says about it or what they say does not matter or count.
Comment by SingleMom_24 on 27 August 2008:
It shouldn’t matter what your skin color as is, as long as you and that person is happy and really care about it eachother, that is all that matters.
Comment by theonly14u on 30 August 2008:
I believe that race is not a factor at all. I see more than one’s skin color or nationality. As long as they care about one another and love each other, it doesn’t matter. By the way, why do we care about what other people say or think, as long as we are happy.
Comment by jessiecat on 31 August 2008:
I joined this website, and other sites, to meet new people and maybe meet someone special after my seperation from my husband…who is white. I have never been racist against colour, creed or sexual preferences. I have brought my children up to be the same. I cant believe that there are so many narrow minded people out there!!! What difference does it make about what colour your skin is?? White people lay on a beach all day to get a tan…then say that they are racist..makes you laugh, doesnt it? Well, I think that as long as twp people are happy together, thats all that matters!
Comment by soulsrching on 1 September 2008:
All I can say is that to each is own. We fall in love with who we fall in love with and we can not force our views on someone else, that goes hand-in-hand with religion and politics as well. There is hatred towards other’s no matter what race we look at, some of it being deep rooted and past down from geration to generation, all we can do is to try to understand and move forward. There are black women who hate white women dating their black men, and you will hear the black man say that, “A sista doesn’t want us until we have a white woman on our arm, before that she would have never given me the time of day”. Given that same note, I am sure there are plenty of white men who hate that their are white women who date black men, and so on and so on. I do know that the Lord blesses us daily, and if there is love in our hearts and we find that love to share with someone else then that is all that counts. Leave the ignorance out, do not feed it’s fire by adding fuel, you will never change how a person thinks or feels, its only in their heart to find peace with it.
Comment by Agape Reign on 4 September 2008:
Let’s see…my father’s mother was black. My father’s father was half Choctaw and half English. My mother’s father was half black and half English. My mother’s mother was half Iroquois, 1/4 black and 1/4 white.
What does that make me? I’m not big on “political correctness.” I’m about being real, so here is my take on the original blog.
I will admit, when I was younger, I used to be bothered when black guys chose to date “outside the race.” To me, it felt like a total rejection of me and anyone that looks like me. Like I wasn’t good enough for them. How did that make me feel? Rejected, unwanted, undesirable and worthless. It took me a long time to get over this “feeling of rejection”.
I went to college in Minnesota, and I tell you it was very difficult to date. It was hard going to clubs with all my white female friends, most of whom were less attractive than me (just being honest, not arrogant), and having “brothas” tapping you on the shoulder and asking me to introduce them to one of my white friends. All night, the black girls would have to dance with each other or the gay guys because the brothers weren’t interested in us. And it wasn’t that we didn’t keep ourselves up. We weren’t white. They weren’t interested.
I finally got to the point where I had to realize that dating outside of the “black community” was not a bad thing and I began dating white guys. What a liberating feeling to realize that you no longer are “obligated” to your skin color.
The older I get, the more I realized that race is so subjective. It was a painful journey for me, but I’m glad that I experienced it. It helped me learn a lot about myself and enabled me to begin to define myself by things other than the color of my skin.
So, don’t be too hard on the sistah. She’s where I was a loooong time ago (an many black women still are). I know it may be difficult for white women to understand this emotional termoil, so I only ask that you acknowledge that it is very real for many black women and it is something that cannot be comprehended if you aren’t black. This woman is probably a 70s baby, who grew up when “Black Power” and “Black Is Beautiful” were the montras on the day. It’s a generation of which I’m a part and there are things we experienced post civil rights movement that were very unique. There are many things that are breaking up the “black family.” Dating white women, I feel, falls WAAAY down on that list, if it’s on the list at all.
I hope she finds healing and peace and release the anger. If she doesn’t, that’s on her.
Comment by ChocPrncess on 5 September 2008:
First, to 1sweetblonde…comments such as yours regarding the ‘drama’ and ‘attitude’ of black women being the reason black men choose to date out…frankly it is divisive and offensive.
I could enumerate many reasons I’ve heard black men say they date white women (white women being easy being one of them)…and I am sure you would find it offensive and most likely untrue (note…I am NOT saying I agree with this view, I am using it to make a point). You could have made your point without throwing that in…
Lastly…I have never been interested in dating black men…white men have always been my preference since I first discovered the opposite sex. So we must remember that for some of us…there was no struggle…no disenchantment with men of our own ‘ethnicity’…no drama of feeling left out because black men were wanting to talk to our white friends…heck…they can have them all because I never was interested in black men! For some of us…perhaps a small few…this is just an innate preference…no drama…no trauma…but a preference…nothing more.
Comment by luvanurse on 7 September 2008:
ChocPrncess I am in full agreement with you. While there are still some black women who get upset about black men dating outside of the black race. There are so many more who could care less. I don’t hate black men for dating out. I just wish they would stop blaming us as the reason why they do it. It sounds weak. I like white men because I find them very physically attractive. Black men have nothing to do with it. I will not put down black men because I date white guys. Too bad alot of them will not do the same for us.
Comment by toastie on 7 September 2008:
I would just like to say in general, people need to move on past what happen in the past and stop passing judgement on things your not going to change, people are going to be with who makes them happy, and it takes a hell-of-lot more energy to stay mad than it does to be happy.I have dated blacks and whites and to me skin is just a covering, we all bleed the same, and people like the one who wrote that article are the main ones walking around miserable and blameing everyone else but themselves for splitting families and cultures.GET OVER IT…..
Comment by I needed a hand on 7 September 2008:
I needed a hand getting out of a creek one day, and the mind is a funny thing, a young man was walking by and I couldn’t get out of the creek, so one mind sad to the other you can ask that person that individual is white, the other part of my mind said you want to save you a__, then you’ll ask for help, well I’m still here today.
Comment by tatted2death on 7 September 2008:
Yes, ChocPrincess….I noticed that as well…..a subtle yet definite put-down. Why must this continue be the tactic some resort to in order to exonerate themselves from their responsibility in the situation?? Don’t just sit there and spout something some man told you to stroke your ego. All that does is lengthen the line of propaganda. And I read and reread the article (maybe I missed it….someone please point it out if I did) and I still can’t see where the person’s gender was specified. Why is then the assumption that it is a Black woman???? Yes, there is mention of the White woman loving the Black man but that does not automatically rule out a Black man as being the author. It could very well be a male member of some militant Black seperatists group. I have heard some of those people (mostly men)speak and it all sounds quite familiar to their espoused beliefs.
I, too, could come on here and regurgitate the many reasons I have heard that many white men are growing tired of white women. First of all, the majority of white women would probably be in denial and not even recognize the comment then there would be all sorts of lashing out and nasty comments. So to what ends would I do such a thing??….the only somewhat logical reason would be to TRY and make myself seem more desirable/attractive to white men. Luckily, I DEFINITELY have no need to do that but certainly is sad that a few (but loud and proud) white women seem to think it is necessary to perpetuate the madness. Scientific poll or not some things are better left unsaid (lest we wish to start debate over which race of women is better…ridiculous). Women in general need to seriously stop looking at each other as the enemy/competition. For the truly GOOD women out there, there really is NO competition (good men will naturally be attracted to you if you keep a positive attitude)…..so we all just need to relax and exhale….LOL.
Comment by Deenea on 9 September 2008:
Well I guess it took a little time for me to get into this. I was 28 years old. I have had one long term relationship with a caucasian man and he made my life wonderful. It was after a divorce so I needed this so I would not go away thinking that all men were terrible. Then 15 years later I met and married a wonderful man caucasian, that to my great sadness passed away last year. He was my love, best friend and soulmate. We were married for over 10 years and this was the best relationship of my life. I think I have met another wonderful man, caucasian and I do pray I have. I miss the loving relationship I had and I want another one. Interracial relationships have been around since the beginning of time. Maybe God made people different colors just to see how they would love each other. Because God never meant for love to come in any specific color. Thanks Deenea
Comment by tatted2death on 9 September 2008:
NO…Thank you Deenea for sharing your story. And what a story it is. First, of all my condolences on your loss but kudos to you as well for not “falling into the abyss” of depression over it and “getting back up on that horse”…lol. I am sending you all positive energy to aid you along with your new beau…It is truly a wonderful thing….magical
Peace and Blessings
Comment by T2Deth on 9 September 2008:
…wait a minute is there a specific reason Chocprincess’s post was pulled???..She neither cussed nor said anything anymore offensive than anyone else here…….priceless
Comment by Deenea on 9 September 2008:
T2Deyh, Thank you for you comments to me I reall appreciate your blessings. I wish you all the best also. Please always remember to always look for the beauty inside and not outside. Again thank you for your positive energy.
Deenea
Comment by golden brown on 23 September 2008:
I think that a lot of black women are afraid to date outside of there race. The black woman is always thought of has the strong, backbone of her community. If they date outside their race they may be looked down upon and thought of as abandoning blacks. It is stupid and should be a thing of the past, but it’s not. When black women stop being made to feel guilty for dating other races is when this interacial dating divide can really start to heal.
Comment by serenity798 on 27 September 2008:
My preference is white men. I’ve always been attracted to them but never entertained it. I’ve had both positive and negative comments but life goes on. Seeing couples of the opposite race is uplifting. We are moving forward and speaking out how we truly feel.
Comment by cocobaker813 on 17 October 2008:
I liked Dire-Wolf’s description of Black and White communities after the Civil War. He completely leaves out the fact that the separation of the races was on the lawbooks, not a “choice” by either community. It’s not as if all the newly freed slaves and the generations afterward got together and thought, “Wow, we need time to regroup and get ourselves together and become stronger and educated!”. It was more like “Okay, you’re free now, unless you stay and keep doing your job, we’ll kind of pay you something. By the way, don’t move in next to me, you can’t attend school with my children, shop in the stores when I do, walk down the streets the same time as I do, and don’t even think of trying to eat in the same restaurants!” I know that was over 150 years ago, but 60 years ago, Blacks and Whites still didn’t live in the same neighborhoods, sleep in the same hotels, drink from the same water fountains, ride the bus sitting together, and Blacks could only shop in big department stores on certain days of the week. And yes, this happened even in some of the so-called “enlightened” cities up North(I’m from NJ, and heard the stories as a girl from my mom and grandmother). While Caucasian men dating and marrying women of other races and cultures and races happened, and there was some shock and disapproval, the Black/White mix brought more scandal and anger. It brings me a lot of joy that me and others of my generation and the younger folks are stomping on those barriers and making it more and more normal and accepted to be in a racially/ethnically mixed relationship, and it bothers me that the old wounds that have never been healed from slavery keep us locked in a never ending dispute. The issue is like the striped elephant sitting in the corner of the room. A lot of folks on here type of moving on, but it’s a bit hard to truly move on unless past issues are resolved. While its true that no one alive participated in slavery, the slave trade or anything else involved in that time, the impact of racism, discrimination, and the notion that African-Americans are seen as “less than” in the eyes of some(SOME)Caucasians are still present. If this wasn’t true, there would be no KuKluxKlan or NeoNazi groups active in the 21st Century, and groups like the Urban League, B’nai Brith, the NAACP or the Southern Poverty Law Center wouldn’t have to exist either. I agree we as a nation and individuals have come a long way from Jim Crow, but there are still things there that linger.
Comment by BigBaldGuy60 on 28 October 2008:
Well personally I must say that my dating experience has been somewhat outside the norm over the last few years. I lived in Europe for over four years and while there I dated a Malaysian woman, a Turkish woman, German, Italian, English, Saudi Arabian, American, and South African. Out of all of those women only two were ‘white’ and out of those only two ever got beyond the casual stages into a serious relationship. One was a white German girl and the other was a black South African girl. While my tastes in women seem to be very wide and broad and I have tended to be more attracted to other cultures and other races I still have not let skin color be the sole of most defining factor for my selection of partners. This trend has continued since my return to the sates while I continually find myself drawn to black women more often than others it is not the only factor I use in order to determine who I may or may not go after. There is just something about black women that I find to be very very attractive, however skin color is just an initial attractor not a deal maker. Attitude is everything be it black white hispanic or asian if your a jerk your a jerk if your a beautiful person you are beautiful!
Comment by scarykat on 18 December 2008:
i dated my first bf for a year and a half and broke up with him two months ago.
i know for sure now he “loved” only my body ( my boobs,my ass)and sometimes i dread to think about it but sometimes it seemed to me he dated me just to show how dominant a black person can be over a white one. he was physically abusive,as well as verbally…and i felt like i was nothing but a piece of meat for him and he proved he can beat lots of white ass, if you know what i mean..
Comment by bdsista on 20 December 2008:
I have dated interracially in the past, but after attending two HBCUs, my preference tended towards BM. Working in the civil rights movement tended to reinforce that although I met some cool white activists whom I hung out with as well. That being said, I married a Blk/Japanese man who divorced me after six yrs of marriage. So finally I have been challenged to broaden my horizons. I am attracted to intelligent men who share my values and religious beliefs, and my politics. Now that I have gotten older, I have decided that its time to accept men as men, so this puts me in a new place in life. I have no stereotypes to say about any race of men having dated all kinds (except Hispanics, Asian Indians and Middle Eastern men). I have also gone through what Agape Reign has suffered (like my entire 30s) and its very painful, particularly back then (80s-90s)white men were not really approaching Black women like they do now. If there are angry Black women, that’s partially why. BW are tired of being the ones who are stereotyped and depicted as negative by BM and WW when often they are carrying the burden of their families and relationships and their jobs. Just putting that out there. But I joined this site to challenge myself to be open to men as men. I personally am African American, Piscataway Indian and Scottish (wayyyy back). But a man who treats me with respect, takes the time to call and acts like they actually enjoy my company (and performances), that’s what works for me. As a bellydancer, I cannot tell you how many men contact me, talk endlessly on the phone and never come see me and my Troupe perform even locally. I think its important to support each other’s interests as well.
Comment by Tulsi17 on 31 December 2008:
All I can say is Wow. There are so many good things said and to be considered in this forum…I never dated outside my race until recently, mostly because I was never asked. I’ve dated a lot of white guys - some great, some good, not so good and what the hell was I thinking? The first “other than white” (Hispanic/Latino/who am I offending by picking the wrong term???) man who asked me out - I spent two good years with him. The second “non-white” (and by the way I think I’M kinda “eggshell”, actually) man who did ask (black), I was not interested in because he was a major sports fan, and I had NO intention of being a Sports Widow. Recently, I met a GREAT GUY -an EXCELLENT guy, and he just happened to be black. I initially discounted his request to spend time together not because he’s black as HE thought but because I thought he was much younger than he is (my own preference - no more really young guys, please!) We had SO MANY THINGS in common. As he said, I feel like I’ve found a long-lost friend. So did I. I’m grateful for that. It was the first time in my life I had the opportunity to openly explore the differences in appearance, though, that we do not share - as well as some things culturally (but that may be his southern roots as opposed to my northern ones - who knows?). and I loved it! SO interesting to be able to enjoy something NEW yet not and enhancing! How nice that we’re made in so many different ways and have the opportunity to find our commonalities as we weren’t allowed just a few decades before (I know - not that that b.s. is all over. I know)! I like to think there’s something and someone for everyone (ok, PLEASE! lol). We need time to work this out. I’ve got a long way to go before I don’t sound like a rambling fool, but it’s a start. and I do not mean this post to sound like “how enlightened am I!”, but just as a start for MY evolution into being open to all opportunities and embracing them wholeheartedly. Peace, everybody! You know what you need, now go get it!
Comment by JenniferDawn on 10 January 2009:
Wow, I can’t believe that someone would be ignorant enough to think that there could be an Interracial Conspiracy inwhich white people would marry black people Just to weaken their communities… Isn’t everyone (regardless of race) looking for the same things… Love, to be loved, and to have a loving family? I don’t understand why it even matters anymore.. People are people… I know as for me I’m going to date whomever makes me happy an will allow me to do the same for them!!
Comment by Sexy Sista on 11 January 2009:
I’m confused. If dating white people weakens our community, wouldn’t dating people who are not either black or white weaken our community just as much?
Besides, I think the author of this article needs to learn how to stop hating. Hatred accomplishes nothing positive in ANY community.
Comment by jorj.jerry on 27 January 2009:
One of the most public manifestations of race is the choice of one’s partner or spouse. This very individual and personal aspect can sometimes produce a lot of public discussion. Studies consistently show that Asian Americans have some of the highest “intermarriage” (also known as “outmarriage”) rates among racial/ethnic minorities — marrying someone else outside of their own ethnic group. But as always, there’s more to the story than just the headline.
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jorj.jerry
Adult Dating
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 24 March 2009:
Let me address these comments.
I am kind of tired of pathetic black women who have envy towards white women who date black men. Originally, this is what caused this raging debate to continue on. So what does these nappy headed black women do, they date white men to get back at black men.
That is the real story behind interracial dating. Nobody cares if an Asian or Latin is with a black person of either gender. People do care when you step out with a white person of either gender. The reason that is because white privilege has benefited them for a long time.
I don’t care if a black woman was with a white man for 10 years. I have personally seen black women blood boil seeing a successful black man with a white woman. Their full of shit if they said they don’t care.
I hardly see white men with black women. I saw it maybe once or twice. The white man sure was not ” White collar guy”. Come to think of it, this myth black women spread around that they are dating highly successful white men is a fantasy.
These people on here lying to the public and the blog world.
I will not apologize for having a loving black fiancee. I got nothing against white women they always been nice to me. I am indifferent to white men because they never come in the black community. They rather have black women in their “comfort zone”. You think a white man wants to see you “Uncle Ray Ray’ at a predominately black church. He does it just because he is so emasculated. If a black man said look I ain’t going to church. We don’t go period.
By the way, I go to church. People need to start telling the truth. You know damn well you been jealous of the white woman for a long time. You date white men to get back at black men and in particular white women.
You still going to be pick last. Stick with black men who was with you from the beginning. Instead you bash black men trying to get brownie points from white men.
When shit goes bad you run to us.
I am hear to bring the light!
My blog is to help bring black women to the “light”. Come to alter and confess your sins. Black men forgive you.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 24 March 2009:
Dear Commentators
I wrote that post in a rush. Please forgive me, you get the idea I was trying to get across.
Sincerely
Me
Comment by Fire321 on 2 May 2009:
This whole topic has gotten old and is absolutely ridiculous. If we took away the color of each others skin, what would the argument be then? Get a life and get over it. With all the issues that are going on in the world today, the color of skin should not be an issue.
Comment by missyE42 on 2 May 2009:
I agree with FIRE the colour of skin should not be an issue but it is…. which is ironic cos ive noticed alot of the racist ignorant fools are the same fools who frequent suntan parlours lol ya feel me ….
i been dateing a black guy for almost 4 years and love him too bits ( even though hes hard work aint all men ) but too me hes a MAN despite his skin colour and thats whats important.
Am i wrong here in thinkin that its alot of black women that have a problem with black men dateing white women?? why??
When i see a black woman with a white man it dusnt even cross my mind too think she shouldnt be with him, i wish them both all the luck in the world cos there gonna need it the way ignorant haters are towards them as it is.
In my ideal world we can date,love,marry,have children with whoever makes us happy .
stay strong too all in a mixed relationship and hold on too the one you love. lifes too short too be bitter or angry so live it too the max .
Comment by godiva61 on 4 May 2009:
To missyE42,
I’m going to try and aanswer your question about black women having a problem with black men who date or prefer white women. First of all I would suggest that you would not stereotype and put ALL black women into that group. It’s unfair and trust me it doesn’t help matters. What I’m hearing from most black women is the fact that black men OFTEN verbally bash, trash and degrade black women to you.
When they choose to do that it speaks volumes. It’s one thing to be attracted to someone but it’s a whole different ballgame when most black men, not all, but most need to justify being with you by trashing black women. Have you ever asked yourself, why? Please don’t tell me that you have never heard the degrading, and negative comments about black women from black men! If for some reason you haven’t it’s very, very rare! I wonder how many times, if any at all, has a white woman put him in check for talking down about black women? Have you ever spoke up? More importantly, do you need to hear this for some reason? I personally don’t think it’s appropiate, fair or just for ANY person to be bringing negative conversation about the ex, or past relationships into the new relationship regardless of the color. Another point and I hope that you are not perceiving this in a negative way, I’m just trying to shed some light on your question. My other point is this, why do women get caught up in this nonsense? I think all women should try and stick together and not rip each other apart and definitely not let men come into a relationship with negative vibes about past relationships, besides it’s two sides to each story. I’m not denying that some black women have a problem with brothers dating white women, they always have and probably always will, but that’s their problem, however I know for a fact most do not, but they resent the constant put downs, and stereotyping of ALL BLACK WOMEN. Since that I’m a honest woman I will say this, black people should be the very last people to STEREOTYPE anyone!
I really believe that this conflict and hostility between the women would cease if we as women don’t allow it but mostly when the black men that engage in this type of behavior , cease with this behavior, then maybe the hostility end but in the meantime, what are you prepared to do?
Peace and Love
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 May 2009:
Here go with the bullshit.
Black men harass black women with white men. Show me where that happens?? I haven’t seen it you attention whore.
We don’t verbally lash out at anybody unless they had it coming to them. White men unfairly stereotype you and I do not hear a peep about it. Not even a whisper about it. So let’s not talk about what black men do. Your on E Harmony and the white boy got half naked black girls on his profile. You sit and nod your head like a desperate rat overlooking that.
I rarely see white women talk down to black women. If anything, black women provoke the confrontation with their harsh and abrasive nature. Now you want to visit your misery onto white men. You kiss the white man’s ass because he is your last resort.
You will join a gym because the white man is your last resort. You wouldn’t join a gym before. Now you stop eating popeye’s chicken. Your in Olive Garden with your white men lying to his punk ass about eating salad your “whole life”.
You don’t fool me. Na, all women shouldn’t stick together. Simply, this is the reason. Both white women and black women will sleep with your man. I don’t care what color he is. You got slut buckets on both sides. I rarely talk about white women because I never dated one. They never disrespected me. I don’t even know where this bullshit about black men don’t defend you against white women. What the fuck a white girl do to you. You tell me?????
Some black women, usually the educated ones, are quiet and lack a backbone.
All of a sudden, they get an emasculated white man. They starting eat cheerios and think they can talk reckless to black men.
Nobody gave a shit who you was with before. I didn’t hear all that tough talk when you was single. Now you got a beer belly white man and he is “Brad Pitt”.
Stand in the mirror backwards because you can’t face yourself!
Good day
Comment by godiva61 on 6 May 2009:
To Laurelton Queens,
Concerning your post on May 4, 2009. I’m assuming that you were speaking to me about my comments to missyE42. First of all in the legitimate adult world, when people ask a question they are usually expecting an answer. Ms. missyE42 asked a question concerning black women problem with black men and white women. Now here is the tricky part, as a black woman, I answered her question!I don’t understand why, in this particular question, you felt compelled to comment, especially because the primary focus in this question was black women. However, I do understand that ALL are welcomed to comment, afterall, this is a public forum, and free speech rocks!! You have every right to inject your comments, and voice your opinions. The problem that I’m having with you is your inability to conduct a intelligent, decent and gentlemen like dialogue. I do not appreciate your referring to me as a “whore”. As an adult you should know how to articulate your feelings, opinions, and experiences without resulting to childlkie behavior, including being inflammatory, degrading, disrespectful, and name calling. You know nothing about me personally, so therefore you have no right to call me out of my name. What did I do to you to offend you in such a manner to be treated with such contempt and disrespect? I merely answered a question. In my opinion that does not warrant your type of behavior.
On May 2, 2009 missyE42 asked a question. The question was “why do black women seem to have a problem with black men dating white women? My answer to her was based on my experiences and first hand knowledege. My answer was this ” that some, notice the word some, black men have a tendency to verbally bash and degrade black women to white women” and there lies a big part of the problem. Not once did I say that it was ALL black men. So I do not understand why a self proclaimed college educated man such as yourself, commented on behalf of black men, by reputing that this doesn’t happen. Just because you have never witnessed it, or heard, so you claim, that does not mean it doesn’t happen, or that it has never happened. I know this might be too hard for you to comprehend, but you have not, nor will you ever hear every conversation that black men have. You are not the know all, seen all, been everywhere, know everything there is to know about every thing. The only one that can claim those abilities is THE ALMIGHTY!! Also when were you appointed to speak on the behalf of all black men? Also I find it a little hard to believe that you are disputing this in one breath, but in the same breath, you are calling me, a stranger and a black woman a “whore”!! The word for today is “HYPOCRITE”! The other word for today(phrase) is “READING COMPREHENSION”! Reading Comprehension is the ability to understand the entire writing that you have just read by focusing on key words, points, and the entire message. More important than than that if you were not so full of anger, contempt and some deep rooted hurt, you would be able to listen to people with an open heart and a open mind, and at the very least, you would have enough discipline, and respect of others as well as yourself to be polite and articulate, and at the very least, a gentlemen.
In closing, this is an interracial dating site. Having said that, there is a very high probability that black women on this site are going to be mostly attracted, and seeking men of another race, including white men. Since you seem to have a HUGE problem with this, and because you are engaged to be married, and to a black woman, according to your accounts, then please explain, why are you so drawn to this site, or any dating site for that matter? You have the woman of your choice and claim to be happy, so why a dating site? Please do not insult my intelligence by saying that you are here because of the so called “sellout black women”. You believe strongly that they are sellouts, you are entitled to your opinion, but why is it important to you? Your comments to these women has helped how? As much as you have offended me, and many other black women on this site, I refuse to compromise my integrity and my character by STEREOTYPING you or referring to you other than Mr. Queens. I don’t care for your tone and your choice of words most of the time but that gives me no right to mistreat you in a degrading manner. We all hear things that we don’t agree with and dislike at times, however as responsible, intelligent and loving adults, we can disagree without being obnoxious and degarding. It’s called “conversation”. I hope and pray that you will accept responsiblity for your behavior by acknowleding it, repenting from it but most all, learn and grow. I will respect you as long as you respect me. However, I am a very fair, yet honest person and please hear me when I say, REFRAIN FROM THE DERROGATORY, VULGAR, AND UNGENTLEMEN LIKE BEHAVIOR ON THIS SITE. NOT ONLY DO I NOT WANT YOU TO CALL ME NAMES, I DON’T WANT THAT FROM YOU TOWARD ANY OTHER WOMAN ON THIS SITE, BLACK OR WHITE!
If it happens again you will leave me no other choice but to report you to the proper authorities.
Peace and Love
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 6 May 2009:
Dear Godiva
I read your little book you wrote. You worried about how I come across. I can have a civilized conversation with anybody. Until they start bashing black men to justify dating a white man.
I try to stick on topic but some of the nappy headed black girls feel they have to attack me. This whole calling the proper authorities on me for a public blog it is beyond disturbing.
I can just see it now, you in your lingerie calling up saying this man “Laurelton Queens” yea he is saying things I do not like on the computer.
That is simply not the real world you live in. I am not trying to disrespect you or put you down. When people say things to me I don’t call the proper authorities. If it ever got to that point I would dial up the local mental health clinic and check myself in.
Now let me address the statements you said earlier.
I don’t remember who you was responding to. I generally respond to a topic and if it has general statements involving black men. I am a black man so of course I will jump in.
For example, many years ago this nappy headed black girl in my college was walking by with her friends. She said something to this other black guy. Something about “I hate dark skin men”. At first I wasn’t even going to jump on her monkey ass. Then she try give all these reasons and glanced at me. Once it got to me I had to let her “have it”.
I said trust me no dark skin men like you. You look like a duck! Then everybody started laughing. She tried to get “puffed up” .I took my jacket off like what are you going to do. She trying to plead she was joking. Yea you was joking ok. They never see what provokes the incident. They just see retaliating. When it comes to me on blogs it is like ” Oh put the guns away jesus”.
The moral of the story don’t run your mouth and not expect to get a response.
I am drawn to several sites. This site happens to have interesting topics that I like to respond to. I don’t have specific issues with anybody on these forums. I see a topic and I respond. It is never personal to me. They make it personal. They want everyone on a blog to think alike. You kiss white pee pee so every black girl has to do it.
It almost like they want to disrespect black men and never have us respond.
I got a solution for you. Stop running your mouth about black men. Then I wouldn’t have to get in your face. Black men that date white women hardly devote their time to endless blogs about what black women did.
I haven’t seen it. You want the white boy then kiss his ass on the blog. You can write about how the white boy is baby jesus. Instead you throw black men up in your desperate shit.
Go call the blog police already. They got to call the blog police over the first amendment.
Why don’t you call the proper authorities when white men disrespect you on these blogs. I never hear you do that.
You have a nice day
Comment by self exzamenation on 21 May 2009:
“The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living”
I’m sure you’ve read this quote before: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates said that at his trial for heresy. He was on trial for encouraging his students to challenge the accepted beliefs of the time and think for themselves. The sentence was death but Socrates had the option of suggesting an alternative punishment. He could have chosen life in prison or exile, and would likely have avoided death.
( Karl W. Palachuk )
We are all here living our lives, and truths.
Keep an open mind, and don’t surcum to the petty Neurotic tendencies, and idiocincracies of poorly thought out,and or badly written bloggers.
the comment made by the author of the blog is just…
painfully stupid! How did you even arrive at the concept? Nobody no matter how much you distrust them is diabolical enough to devote their life to interracial dating, just to distroy a community.
the very idea boggles the mind.
Peace…Holly
Comment by self exzamenation on 21 May 2009:
People please,if you are a human and dating another human you are not dating out of your race. However you may be dating outside your ethnicity. That being said, if i see you dating a Vulcan, or a Romulan, then im calling you out as a race trader! lol
Have a chuckle.
xoxo Holly
Comment by ezrhino2001 on 8 August 2009:
The person who originally started this blog , is a racist and should ignored , most white females are not racist in fact most females period are not racist , people who give/carry life really cannot be racist. Racist people need to get out of the box ! I would rather see a person happy with somebody of a different race than miserable with somebody of the same race. Divide and conquer what ? God and the economy know of no race. What is suppose to be so great about being any one race, if your race is your only sense of pride then u have u issues.
Comment by ezrhino2001 on 8 August 2009:
Infact ladies this guy who started this has issues with all women , he will put down a black woman for dating outside her race yet he will not date a black woman .
Comment by Escalademan on 10 August 2009:
I’ve been dating white women for the past 10-14 years. I’m 34 now. I’ve noticed how the hate comes out of people (mostly white men), because they don’t want to see a good looking white women with a black man (good looking meaning, slim/small, nice shape and pretty face).
If i’m walking down the street with a black female, everything is cool, because i’m following the rules. When I walk down the street with a good looking slim white female, I get the hate looks.
For example, my X-girlfriend on my profile here. We were on a cruise last year and the entire trip was a hate fest. Black women looking at us mean, white men looking with evil in their eyes, white women looking mean and black men waiting for me to turn my back, so they can try to talk to her myself.
Pathetic, but very true. These white men look at me, like, their wives, or gf’s don’t look no where as good as my girl, so I shouldn’t be with a good looking white women, because i’m a black man. That is the impression I feel and the look I’m translating by the way they stare for long periods of time.
Some black men can’t take this type of pressure, i’ve learned over the years.
I’ve gotten the worst service on the cruise, from the people that work there, because they didn’t approve of our relationship.
But this is a pattern. The story gets much more ignorant.
My X from 3 years ago, she was a very good looking Asian female. Everywhere we went, there were Asian people hating us being together, white males hating, because they want a good looking small Asian women for themselves. Black women, hating, but not as bad as a white women. We got looks everywhere we went. Asian people look at her as a sell out. Their thinking was, why should a good looking model type Asian female be wasting her time with a black man?
Black men, should be getting the bottom of the barrow, is what I heard from other people.
When My Asian X was on a cruise together 3-4 years ago, we used to walk into a dinning area, and we had the entire dining hall turning their heads looking at us. I remember a family of 10-15 asian people eating dinner, and every one of them stopping what they were doing to turn their heads to look at us. This happened all over the ship, everywhere we went. It was similar to how black men are used to being stopped and frisked by police.
It was really entertaining.
I could never forget this one time, when me and my x was in Paris. These two older Asian men were staring directly at her 3 feet away while we waited in line. The men’s face looked so evil and mean, it was as if they were saying: “If you were my daughter, i’ll cut off your head.” That is the exact look on their faces.
Even though i’m used to this racism, I just deal with it, because i know i’m happy in the relationship. I’m sure there are plenty of black men on here, who can concur with these examples.
IF a black man is with a fat overweight/ not so good looking white or Asian women, then people (white/asian) don’t really care. Because they don’t want them, themselves, so its okay a black man to have them.
But once you are with a good looking female, that they would want, they automatically give you those hate looks. Who agrees with this?
Comment by Escalademan on 10 August 2009:
Hey,self exzamenation. I agree with your example, that we are all the same race. Us humans are 99.9% identical. Ethnicity would be different. When will us humans stop looking at skin color, this is so primitive for us to continue to think like this.
I think in the future, when man is able to change their pigmentation in their skin, to whatever color they wish, then maybe everyone will be one color years after that. I think there will be alot of black men, changing their color over to maybe white (similar to what micheal jackson did), then getting a face lift, so they can get any job they want and don’t have to worry about being discriminated against. I know this sounds crazy now, but in the future things like this might be the norm.
Being black these days is not easy at all. We are the first to be laid off, and last to be hired. We are working hard everyday, sometimes just to go backwards. If skin color is causing most of these problems, why not in the future, another generation of black men, find an easy way to avoid all these problems?
Anyone watch family guy? There was a question on there a few weeks ago on an episode. Peter asked his friends, “If you had a choice to be one of the two, which would you choose? Being black or being white crippled?”
That question really bothered me as something I had a hard time deciding between. Of course I would go with black, but it shows the struggle we go through everyday and in life. Being a different skin color really does make a difference in this world. Sad, but true.
Comment by SEWilde on 9 September 2009:
Escalademan,
I am fairly new to these sites. I usually just read the blogs, but seldom respond. The one thing BM/WW, and BW/WM have in common, is the sense of being displaced by society as a whole.
I think in urban areas, and certain social settings, there is more acceptance of these IR couples, but outside of that circle, there is major discontent from a variety of sources.
I expect much controversy when my book is released, of an IR couple and how they traverse the mind fields of discord.
As a black woman who has dated inside as well as outside of her race, I certainly agree with your observation. It’s a sad commentary on society that frowns on people who love, just because they are with someone of another, race, religion, etc.
It takes two strong individuals of the opposite race to disregard the glares, stares, and negative comments of misinformed people.
Long live Love! Love just is!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 25 September 2009:
Dear Escalademan
I agree with most of what you said. Unfortunately, sellout black women continue to stand in line for white men that are not interested in them. There are the few rare exceptions are Tampa Chris, who is in a black fraternity. You have AZ who is not into “chubby black women”.
“The female author” mentions feeling displaced. Your ass wasn’t displaced. Black men were hung from trees just for looking at a white woman. You was a mammy for a white man and caretaker for his home. That was the jobs that were available for blacks in the 1920s through 1970s.
It doesn’t matter what color you change yourself too. I believe it is more about ‘classicism” than racism. It maybe a mixture of both.
I think there is a shift in the country with lower class whites having vendettas against black people that got money. They even got vendettas against black people who get social services such as social security and welfare. Yet, these same white trash are on the “system” too.
Lastly, sellout black women don’t want to be black anymore. That is why they distance themselves from other blacks. They will have a white boyfriend and never attend an all black church or mall anymore. There is one problem that gets in their way. The average black woman despises white women. I don’t care if she is married to a white man. They have this hidden rage towards a white woman.
Interracial couples wouldn’t endure comments if they didn’t try mouth off at innocent people in the street. They are always seeking attention. Then they get that attention. They start acting like victims. Stop thinking people “are looking at you”.
Look for that White Man Bailout Part 4. The Book is on the way too. I am thinking of different titles.
Mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com
Comment by Ichibod on 25 September 2009:
“Stop thinking people “are looking at you”.”
I couldn’t have said it better. Maybe they are looking, but maybe they aren’t thinking what you think they’re thinking. Some people just like to think people have a problem with them. It’s like when that “Baby Daddy” song came out, hoodrats went out of there way to get a baby daddy. Now, it seems like people all wish someone was “hating” on them. Some people just need to grow up.
Comment by triccinicci on 27 September 2009:
Mr. Laurelton Queens,
I’ve read several of your posts and responses thereof. My following comments are merely “observations”. Like you I’d like to pre-state, it’s not personal.
It’s a wonderful thing, that 1st Amendment whose main purpose is to ensure each and every one of us continues to have a voice. Now I know you would not agree, but the effort of “voice” is characterized in action through thought via the individual meaning and streaming together of the “Word”. Each word carries a marvelous weight which can act as freeing oxygen lifting the lightest feather on the open wind or the greatest weight - such as the World upon Atlas’ shoulders.
Because you get around to several blogs you intimated you enjoy visiting, your word gets carried quite well. I noticed you particularly look for those responses which you feel denegrate the male of African ancestry. You seem to have a fanatical appeal to protect what you perceive are runs against the value of what you believe the Man of Color stands for.
I’m wondering, do you have another way you could approach your political stance in presenting your belief system? Now, I’m not asking the rediculous, like requesting you to stop calling Women of Color, “nappiheaded” and “whores”, lol! I’m aware this is your artistic and expressive license. Yet, truly it detracts from the obvious of what your responses are about and dilutes the true intent of your message.
The way you present your expressions decries baffling inconsistency. I gather more than not, you harbor affable hatred toward Women of Color. All this while upholding Caucasian women. Are you being subtle in stating you have an underlying attraction to Caucasian women, but don’t know how to approach your desire?
It is quite transparent your non-elastic disregard and underfoot demeanor which you carry like a strongly lit torch in complete apathy and denegration towards Women of Color. Since you so outwardly and consistently denegrate women from African lineages and so incredibly misstate our level of intelligence, dating intent, exposure level, personal experiences and intimate desires on a general basis; I thought in sisterly love I might reach out to you.
In so doing, an opportunity for a tiny bit of light is directed your way. I think you are suffering from rejection that runs emotionally, quite deep. I think it could be turned around if you challenged yourself. Then again, I’m not a pychiatrist, lol! But you get the drift.
Don’t feel bad (not that you would) as many of us (worldwide, non-exempt on the “color/race” status) all have conspiracy theories/practical standards of manipulation which we cater to in the hopes our own self hatred won’t be made aware. Of course you would deny such a thing, but your own culutural “sister” you call a whore as though you slept with one last night and mixed her name up with every woman!
The key here, Mr. Laurelton, is to pull yourself up by the bootstraps of self entitlement. Why consider what the “master” manipulated (meaning ‘ancestral’ in this regard) you into many eons ago? He no longer can pull your strings as a puppet. Yet I see you have been convinced and even create dogma for yourself. That dogma says to continue to behave as a puppet though no one controls the strings, but yourself.
You have even lost the superiority of the (”massah”) role due to changes in law and societal mores. Therefor the audience you seek to play to is undynamic. Now for the sake of having an audience, I think you would find willing listners and those to participate. Only carrying a sense of tradition with no real value thus far it seesms.
What will keep you fresh is the statement of what you know is your reality, your truth. For example, I think you made a valid point about the young woman who tried creating public disdain to injure your youthful spirit. This statement probably came from an injured girl trying to cover feelings/beliefs of disillusionment herself by fostering social superiority. You gouged right back AND made your mark to her humiliation. But how old where you then?
Could you now acquiesce putting her down did not build you up? What value can you bring to the discussion on interracial views from such experiences? Sharing your thoughts and beliefs might enlighten some of us (even if your viewpoint is through a completely different approach). It doesn’t sound as if you date interracially yourself (I could be wrong).
I ask these questions because though you are determined to voice your opinion, but often in dehumanizing terms that seem unnecessarily disruptive, provoking and quite vehement. I understand you are passionate about the subject matter. As well, I also can attest to several key points you make (not meaning I agree because I don’t) and think, given the topic, this is plausible cause to discuss your viewpoint…I just want to encourage you standing your ground doesn’t mean belittling others.
As well, others broadening their horizons doesn’t mean they are walking away from our culture, discrediting themselves by following true patterns of interest or chasing people who do not want them. What it does mean is that humanity is ever evolving, changing, flowing, gathering rythym. We are the evolvers, the revolutionaries, the flowing bloodlines and the gatherers AND creaters of our own rhythms and beats.
No one has the right to take our life for that blessing of just wanting happiness. Do not purposefully slay that blessing with the verbal sword of the tongue, nor destroy it with written vileness. You, my friend, are the mirror’s reflection and the moisture gathered in a sponge.
When you are asked to reveal the reflection you see and your response is such as it is (nappiheaded, whore, etc); you will surely be shown your own image. The connection will finally be made. The same with the sponge. What good will fall from a sponge who has soaked up nothing but bad? Would you drink such poison if you had to survive by what you could squeeze from it in times of need?
This is why some people interracially date, they want to find the beauty of themselves in someone else. Even if they do not share the same ethnicity, same racial features or even culture. Happiness becomes who you are and what you experience after you put forth the effort to attain it.
PS: I didn’t thoroughly proofread as it is 6 am and I’m sleep writing from love, lol!)
Goodnight-morning:-)
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 27 September 2009:
Dear triccinicci
You mention I am fanatical when it comes to sellout black women bashing black men. It bothers me to a certain degree. It does not make me fanatical. Most black men are indifferent to what black men feel. Unless it directly affects them. I am the rare exception that have read all the reasons for interracial dating for five years. Prior to writing on sellout blogs, I was on craigslist writing my opinions.
As far calling black women nappy headed hos and whores. That is mainly theatrics. Imus said nappy headed ho. I really didn’t know what the whole uproar was about. The mainstream black women from academia were shocked white men felt this way about them.
It seems to me that your are implying I have a hang up about slavery. I am not a pro black militant. In my blogs I rarely talk about slavery or white men. People think I do. They assume I am talking about white men. If you read my replies on any thread. I never place the blame on white men for anything.
I do feel they do pick black women last to date. Statical facts back that up. That is never addressed. As for the interracial dating discussion. It was never about skin color. It is about sellout black women putting white men on a pedestal.
They can rail off everything bad about black men. Yet, white men use them for sex they don’t say anything about it. They will make every excuse in the book not to say something negative.
I currently have a fiancee is puerto rican and black. Before that, I dated mostly Caribbean women who were “black”. People got a problem with me telling the truth. A white guy will never say half the black girls he been with were “whores”.I am different. I will tell you what I have “ran into”.
I think people believe just because we all black. I am suppose to sweep shit under the rug.
I disagree on your reasons why people date inter racially. They don’t want find beauty in “themselves and others”.
That’s bullshit. People date inter-racially because they are fed up with their race of men or “women”. There are people who have always dated outside their race. For example. a white guy growing up in a black neighborhood. More than likely, he will be with a black woman.
You mention that I uphold white women. I hardly mention white women. The reason I hardly mention white women is because they are not doing movies bashing their own white men. They are not magazines looking desperate or on MSNBC saying white men are a piece of shit.
Not only would that reflect bad on them. You don’t gain anything from it.
From my observation, even if a black woman has a white man, she STILL dislikes a white woman for some reason.
If I wanted a white woman I could be with one. I am competitive person that is why I get involved with black women. If things were easy I wouldn’t be all that interested in the woman.
That is just how my personality is. I might do a blog about why black women don’t want a nice guy. That is why white men are often “dropped” in ir relationships. I got an email from a white guy that said ” he was shocked his black girlfriend was fucking another man”. He basically went on how he gave her everything.
I won’t give you my reply to him. Look for that White Man Bailout Part 4 and Million Dollar Sellout Baby.
http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Azrazyel on 27 September 2009:
Good points queens.
Comment by triccinicci on 27 September 2009:
Pre-notation: You forget your own statements and assume on others: “Black men were hung from trees just for looking at a white woman. You was [were] a mammy for a white man and caretaker for his home. That was [Those were] the jobs that were available for blacks in the 1920s through 1970s.”
____________
Basically anything from a historical perspective invites on topic viewpoints furthering or relating to the historical perspective mentioned. That is the reign of conversing (See: Rules for Conducting a Discussion by Dr. Mortimer J. Adler; WWW, Historum.Com). You do speak of slavery - and often.
You must not be conscious more than just yourself are aware of not only slavery but its historical and placating impact through the centuries. The word “mammy” was coined during the time of slavery, not after. You also greatly speckle your writings in slave-like dialect (to wit: “You was a mammy…”) Another invisionment and direct connection you immerse the connotation of your meaning with. Check your facts and stop creating self righteous fiction.
fa·nat·ic (f-ntk), n.
A person marked or motivated by an extreme, unreasoning enthusiasm, as for a cause.
adj. Fanatical.
(The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company)
_________________________________________________________
Sir,
Your statements, actions and reasonings are no excuse for the diabolical attitude of expressing such hateful intolerance of what you perceive as outward rejection by some African American women towards Men of Color. Your cry for such women to return to a “man” you characterize by assumptions concerning their cultural counterpart is ludicrous! All while basing such assumption on self directed belief that individual attitudes (of the “sellout black woman” as you state) slight the credibility of African American men. Which only applies if it just simply applies.
Your answer to this placation of spirit is to hit back and hit hard! This, in your perception, will get Women of Color hustling, hurriedly back to the place they belong! This is the problem with fanatacism, it has no position nor credibility in reality!!!
You so often conjecture and rail against what you believe quantifies as an intolerable insult against your cultural manhood, you fail to recall dignity, integrity and commpassion in dealing with others who are human just as you are. Since you state you are a religious man, it seems an illiterate shame you are not familiar with the dogmas and practices of the Bible. Your only concern, as in everything apparently, is to take what you will and twist and malign it to suit a dillusional pastime.
“Hate Making” is what I call it. It’s a million dollar industry, ask Rush Limbaugh. As a matter of fact you should use his publisher. They know the business well. As well, link up with Imus, he can give you pointers as to how to make even more bank just in case your marketplace doesn’t respond as well as you thought.
Of course, this is what fanatics do. If you were one of such high integrity and so astute at being educated in the tenents of religion, you would know one of the highest hierachal manifestations of the Bible is to “Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You”. That would halt your insidious torrents of racial inapptitude pretty much immediately. Either that or look up the definition of “Bigot”. It applies.
Of course every creative and whole minded being knows and recognizes fanatics are not rational and cannot condone any rational action or thought. Now on the other hand my own mother, a woman of mixed ancestry and great wisdom, told me once if not often, “Do not ever quarrel with a drunkard”. You, Sir, are drunk on the intoxication of vengefulness and conspire in self counsel towards the end of hatefullness.
Anyone can see that from your dismissive diatribes. Inviting such a one to the table of community growth to enlarge the border of hope and tolerance is to ask the dog to return to his own vomit. He will regurgitate and eat it gladly, therefor masquerading his own power anyone watching knows is simply putrid filth.
Comment by SEWilde on 27 September 2009:
Reply to, Triccinicci:
Welcome. You have stated what so many others have on this site, and you have stated it eloquently.
To quote your mother, “Do not ever quarrel with a drunkard.” Agreed. That is exactly why I no longer respond to, as you so aptly put it, his “insidious torrents of racial ineptitude.”
A great deal of his comments are aimed at me.
People “expressing such hateful intolerance,” should not be allowed on this site. If I want hate speech, I can go to his website, and other sites that proudly display their profanity and hatred.
He has lambasted each and every single black woman who has been, is now, or thinking of, dating outside the race. Of course, we are all “sellouts,” and other derogatory names.
Cyber bullying should not be allowed on this site.
SE
Comment by triccinicci on 27 September 2009:
Thank you and know that I am with you SE. Cyberbullying and hate profiling should not be permitted. I really don’t think the first ammendment was written for that, lol! Now of course it was written to give him the right TO SPEAK, nevertheless we don’t have to allow such social lewdness to demean our character nor give rise to a platform here. We shall see what he continues to do. After all it is a free site and he can comment on what he likes.
He just can’t use it to spread hate. There are laws that apparently many people are not aware of. Since there are laws, there are ways to protect oneself. Even on the Internet.
As well, since I know for a fact his bigotry, even in its worst insult, never applies to me (As I speak freely and mark how and what I say to be my personal statement. All others are bounded by commentary or references.), I make a privilege of now overlooking his comments.
Free yourself SE from permitting him to own any part of your expression or even coloring your view. He is not God and writes no rules of engagement. Most blogs have a “report” button to prevent these type of attacks. I don’t see one but have heard others complain their responses have been removed after being posted. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how to reach the moderator(s) as such bullying should at least be viewed for appropriate content.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 27 September 2009:
Let me respond to this right away.
I dislike it when people want to censor me concerning a debate here. Now you claim I do hate speech. Go ahead and report it. You show me where the hate is coming from. I have an opinion about something and you disagree and that is fine.
You avoid the points I make. Most people that enter into interracial relationships had bad experiences with their race of men or women. That is my personal opinion. Some people actually agree. I did a poll on it on my blog a long time ago.
I think people take my theatrics as not being serious about this topic. So they think they can over analyze what I do. I am concise and to the point. I read some of your biased opinions about me. Instead of addressing what I say. You look at the “man” then the message. You are addressing me from the perspective of the tone of my replies instead of reading completely what I say.
I don’t mind you looking at the flaws in the man. I am not going to sit here and feed you shit you want to hear. It is a form of control. For example, if a white guy on here says “some things” he dislikes about black women. He is automatically called a racist. You can never really get a honest response because of the politically correct nature of blogging. I am not politically correct and never will be!
Instead of hearing him out and adjusting your behavior, you rather crucify him. That is why some white man are reluctant to tell you how they REALLY feel. I am not here to be popular. It is a public blog, I can comment on it. You are going to call the blog police on me because you don’t like what I say.
Call the blog police on fictional novels and self promotion of books by “other people”. I wouldn’t do that because I self promote my blog on rare occasions. I don’t back down from a debate.
I have a degree in Criminology/Sociology and a A.S in Office Technology. You are an intellectual woman but painfully unaware of the law. What are you going to say ” Laurelton is talking about black women negatively”. They would laugh you out the courtroom. I addressed this on a blog months ago called Sellout Black women VS Mr Laurelton Queens Docket Number #.
Anyway, I find this conversation very stimulating. Please do not mistaken my “ghetto slang” for a man that is not aware of the way you are trying to shape the argument.
The original thread was concerning black women dating white men and if it makes their community stronger. I believe white guys will date black women in their “comfort zone”. They will not go to the housing projects or a majority black neighborhood to live with them. They don’t want a biracial ghetto. I always laugh at that term “biracial ghetto”.
They want to take their sellout black girl away from the black collective altogether. I haven’t met a “pro black” woman with a white man. If you have seen one, then show me! 99 percent of them are sellouts.
Good day to everyone.
I get tired of playing games with these sellout black girls. One of them got a book that is about to “flop”. The other one reads my blog and “likes me” for some reason.
Why white men never demean them? I never hear any complaints about that. Where is the outrage in being picked last or being excluded on E Harmony? What the REAL ISSUE is that I am “too brutally honest”. I am not changing my style to suit these sellout black women.
They can read about Scoff and Sara’s fabricated love story during the summer of the 1960s.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 27 September 2009:
Oh another thing
I find it funny that people that judge me. Are so self righteous about their own opinions. They would like to dictate who is doing “hate speech”. But at the same time black women on this blog can demean black men on a daily basis. I never hear any outrage over that.
They mention Rush Limbaugh. LOL He has millions of listeners. I don’t agree with him. But the fact of the manner these millions of people “might agree” with them. Are you going to call them fanatics?
This liberal mindset is quite disturbing. They want you to “think” like them. By default if you have a difference of opinion they “attack you”. It doesn’t bother me because I always try to stick on topic.
I find it quite amusing they don’t even know the definitions of words they call me.
Are you a bigot if you “choose” not to date chubby black women? Are you a bigot if you are not interested in dating black women? Are you a bigot if you choose to only date black women not in the lower socioeconomic scale?
They worried about if my girlfriend is black. LOL She is black, we have been together for four years. I have only dated black women period.
Why don’t you analyze why white men continue to ignore you on E Harmony. Are you to afraid to address the real “problem” for black women who want to date outside of their race.
I would like to see that for a change. Instead of the same tired argument of “blame the black man” for saying shit I don’t want to hear. Let me call the blog police. LOL
I am waiting for your response. I want to get to the real issues!
Comment by triccinicci on 27 September 2009:
This is my last response to the blogger, Mr. Laurelton Queens:
1.) There are no real issues except for those you have created in your head.
2.) You do NOT stay on topic which results in the overburdening of your reliance of defamatory and outrageous speech.
3.) The only way you know to express yourself is through negative stereotypes. Which includes Hero worship of all the “good” things you said about the Caucasian race, while truly denegrating Women of Color because several “attacked” Men of Color. Check yourself Bro, you seem a little in need of therapy (ask Rush to join you, lol)!
Note: No matter your expression, my replies are not personal in kind to you with the exception of that last statement. I really am concerned.
I do believe you have a First Amendment right and uphold it as even I do with the Klu Klux Klan. They’re American too. Nevertheless, you are abusing your community you say you so openly participate in. Point: People of Color originated no differently and have migrated and traveled no further than other races, nor are they all present in one place globally. Therefor your belief we all have to be JUSTLIKEYOU is pure redicule and contrite hooooogwaaaaash!
So make up all the Rush Limbaughed patterened dillusionalities you like about whomever you like. You do it just to curse your mother’s teat. In other words: you are simply unhappy with your own existence. That’s only transferable by agreement. So the inquiry is “who are you in agreement”? The Klu Klux Klan? They need good fighting men like you, so get that application boiiii!
Not one fact, not one fact, not one fact did you present.
Comment by Azrazyel on 27 September 2009:
Maybe we should create our own site for WM/BW to conversate without interference from negativity.
lol
Just a thought?
I mean it seems no one can have a conversation without someone/something interfering and blocking the topics and conversations at hand.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 27 September 2009:
Dear Tric
You were doing well. You let “Laurelton derangement” syndrome take over your life lol.
You completely went off the reservation with the Klan talk.
I clearly will not get a answer for my questions.
Hey AZ
Tric is sexy. I am going to call her “Baby Michelle Obama”.
She doesn’t wear sleeves like her.
I am trying to figure out her obsession with Rush Limbaugh. lol
I might start doing “Glenn Beck’ charts showing white men picking black women last.
I keep telling people the more intellectual a black woman is, the more crazy she is. Tric backs up my points. She just totally went “left”.
She says I believe in your first amendment right but where is that “report” button. LOL
Comment by Ichibod on 27 September 2009:
Well said, LQ.
There’s only one point that Triccinicci (Tricky Nicky is it?) made that I agreed with. I won’t go into that, but I will say the problem is very clear. No one cares to look at and discuss the issues you raise. You make claims, and you’re talked againgst. Why is that? And I don’t agree with “It’s the tone of your message…”. Okay, walk away, count to ten, breath deep, then come back and read it again, is what I suggest they do. You have found videos, statistics and polls, speeches, excerpts from magazines and other websites supporting your claims and you have posted them on your blog. James can even create a topic regarding the very questions you raise and for some reason, you’re the one with the problem. There have even been white men and black women on this site that can agree to what you have to say, and they don’t face nearly the same level of scrutiny, if any at all, that you face. Ofcourse, I don’t appreciate how you pick on my friends Godiva and World Citizen, but I’ve teamed up with you to do battle with others on this site. It’s clear, by how many times bloggers mention my name, that people have noticed that I don’t agree with you on everything, and you’re absolutely correct about me being a moderate. I don’t agree with others on everything, either. I can agree to this, I can agree to that, or to a little of both. I can scroll through this comment, scroll through that comment, or scroll through both of them (and I do… many times… without the prompting of others). I think I’ve said this before, I believe that some black mens’ comments are just ignored unless they have derogatory statements toward black women. The self-righteousness is sickening. No offense to Scoff and Sarah, but I’ve read praises to Sarah for telling her story when Scoff was the one who started it and invited Sarah along to help tell it. It’s as though intereracial dating is much more personal to black women than it is to others. Notice there are more comments from black women, even in threads that present questions to white men. If you are supposedly a fanatic, then you’re not the only one, I guarantee it. From your perspective, the “Sellout black women” are more than likely fanatics and they have run rampant on this site. I haven’t seen THE ONE in a while. I just angered one on YouTube the other day. Oops, sorry! All I mentioned was self-esteem and Jesus. Go ahead, enjoy your little “black women are beautiful” video. I did. I just think the premise behind it shows that the chick that made it and all of her commentators lack something inside that makes them feel they need a video montage of other women that look like them in skin tone only to show their self-worth. Use photos of others to promote your own self-worth? Needless to say, she deleted my comment, sent me a nasty message, and blocked me from future posts. See what happens when you try to help? Anyway, I’m done. Nice talking with again, my friend. My only advise to you is “keep your focus”. I’ve noticed your aim has been getting sort of sloppy lately. Stray bullets are a complete waste of ammo. Peace, Bro!
Comment by triccinicci on 27 September 2009:
Isn’t it nice to be free and have the morality and mental balance to live life unrestricted? Now that I can engage in sensible conversation with people who aren’t full of ‘dont’s’ and ‘cant’s’, I hope to continue to learn and grow from accessing this blog. If not, I’m bond to ask Azrazyel for the address to the blog encouraging the balance of what decent folk have to say, black, white, red, whatever.
I’d like to request a bit more monitoring of the site so we can have open discourse. My comments about Black communities faltering due to changes in social dynamics pertaining to other cultures (or the specific culture mentioned) impacting the original practices of that community are pretty simple.
There exists no culture police because what is culture to begin with? Men and women still hold traditional roles: women haven’t stopped being women rather of color or not; men still hold traditional roles. So “community” still stands with a varied form in its evolutionary sequencing.
The question pertains to how “whitey” supposedly is breaking down “our” communities. The world is changing and love should be considered universal. Not isolated to one group. Why should one group be loved just because it has nothing to do with another who holds no different value? That is a discredit to the human race.
Community is a sense of self that is shared with others, not perputrated or manipulated. How are you going to regulate community? That is known as ostracization or dominating preference (prejudice). If I desire to share my sense of community I will do so because the light of that community is within my soul and shines out to whoever falls in its path of brilliance. Simple.
The blogger who wrote the comments from which this thread was taken, obviously did not consider the damage of smothering that light behind fearful reprise of some “white” person. I fear no man and place no man on a pedestal. All must show their value and worth through the grace of acts, not words, nor forced submission.
If I place my light beneath a bushel and restrain oxygen from entering, my light will extinguish. That, by my own hand. What then of my “community”? Who will I blame then? This light should already be protected by a good and wholesome positive self image. It’s difficult to fit a 10 foot tall person in a crate measured for someone representing 2 feet of height. Just as difficult is it to force a person who only wants 2 feet of life to live up to 10 feet of existence.
Again, the blogger/author should have considered what community is and what the individual is in a community. Is not that person a mirror image of actions, the voice, the architecture and the foundation of that community? Can not you worship in a same faith with people of different racial characteristics? Does not the blogger know who the Moors are; where Hannibal came from and who performed the first open heart surgery? What is community if it is not that which we carry forth into the greater community of the world. Who will save it while we savor our crumbs?
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 27 September 2009:
Dear Ich
I get your points. I don’t pick on your friends. I just respond to them. My opinions will not change simply because people dislike them or disagree with them. Ich your opinions are similar at times but it is all about how people “perceive you”.
For example, you can say well white men do pick you last to date. The sellout black girls will not be upset as much.
I say ” White men pick you last”. You hear all types of personal attacks lol. I don’t mind the attacks because I got very few chinks in my armor.
I think my statements are very reasonable. I don’t think comments are ignored. The Scoff and Sara story was popular until people got tired of it. Nobody really commented on it. They basically just said “oh we want to hear your novel” because I criticized it!
If I never said “anything” about Scoff and Sara. Nobody would have even cared. 85k guy said that whole thing sounds fabricated. Godiva goes “oh 85k” guy can you please let me think it’s “real”.
Sellout black women will always censor you on their blogs unless you kiss their ass Ich. White men hardly comment on their blogs so they tend to preach to the “choir” on their blogs.
Tricc is a very self absorbed woman. She is also misinformed about history. That would be a long blog just to correct it.
Bottom line, it’s not about whitey. It is about black women putting more “into” interracial relationships and getting hardly nothing back in return.
I don’t need to get in a complicated tirade about it like Tricc is apparently doing.
I think she has Asperger syndrome. Look it up if you don’t know what that is.
Good day
Comment by SEWilde on 27 September 2009:
Reply to Triccinicci:
Mr. Q. has no sway over me. I am none of the derogatory names he uses, when referring to me. I ignore his comments and replies. I let him fight by himself, as there is no need for me to join him in his madness, and his cruel, and vicious rants.
It would be unfortunate if a whole community of people who are like minded, minding their own business, being civil to one another, and having decent conversations, and debates - would allow one person to destroy a whole blog.
Personally, the idea of Mr. Laurelton Queens being verbally abusive, is just as abhorrent as a Klansman coming in here preaching hate. I think the community would have little tolerance for that kind of obscene content, and they would be up in arms.
Yet, we seem to tolerate it from Mr. Q. (I don’t)
You questioned, “Does anyone have a suggestion as to how to reach the moderator(s) as such bullying should at least be viewed for appropriate content.”
Write a letter to the President. Someone should at least be monitoring this site, and there seems to be one person to change a topic every now and then. I don’t think the topic is the problem. It seems like most reasonable people want to have a genuine conversation, without argument, without name calling, without insult, except for Mr. Q.
One person complaining might not be enough, but if there are multiple complaints, they would have to take note of what is going on in their blog.
It is unfortunate that he has many issues. I won’t let that be my problem. Obviously, he does not know how to behave with civility and respect in a public forum. He should return to the vile, decaying, trash, that is his very own site.
Anytime someone is on this site, who taunts and ridicules a retired couple, giving an account of their young IR love in the 1960’s, and he insults her to the point of bringing her to tears, and doesn’t care about it, and he continues to stay here, and no one does anything about it. I will. It’s not right. Just because he doesn’t believe their story, does not mean it did not happen to them. How much more disrespectful can one be to an elder?
If it was your, mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, or any loved one, would you just stand by and not say anything? Would you just let the verbal abuse continue?
Complain to the powers that be. If enough people constantly complain, then something will be done. Why should we let one person, destroy a whole blog?
SE
Comment by Azrazyel on 27 September 2009:
I have an honest question and I seek an honest answer to this.
I have always pondered this question but never really got a clear cut answer.
Why is it (exactly to your knowledge) that black men and white women are more ‘open’ than white men and black women?
It seems that to white men ‘anything but black’ lays prevalent to this day. Please excuse my misinterpretation of this, but I have always heard that before.
I mean is it because there is a more diverse white woman culture than black women that causes them to be more open?
I noticed on this site that quite a few white women have black only or anything but white.
Quite a few black women have white/Latino/Asian etc. but not too many have white only.
Why is this? Why are white women more exact and precise in their preferences when it seems quite a few black women may not be?
Now this is non-biased because I have all ethnicities listed because I know love comes from anywhere.
I’m just trying to dwell into the reasoning why white women are exact and black women not so much.
P.S. I am sure racism, slavery etc. will probably be used, but wouldn’t that apply to white women and black men as well?
I know white men were the oppressors in the past (slavery, rape, torture, murder etc.) I am sure many black women are ’skeptical’ of white men approaching them, and indeed understood. Are black women taught to beware of white men or to distrust them?
I’m just confused as to the reasoning white women/black men prevalence in comparison to the contrary.
I don’t believe it to be culture because whites and blacks share many of the same features in that aspect. And apparently ww/bm don’t see the culture barrier at all.
Please help me understand this and give me some deep insight for the reasoning stated above.
Thank you.
Comment by triccinicci on 27 September 2009:
SE,
I was not one who read any redicule of Monsieur Laurelton’s responses to the online story. I did come across the woman’s post once or twice, but didn’t follow it. I am glad to hear that other’s believe the blogger is crossing the line. If he were of any other race, it would not be stood for. Everyone else has to tiptoe or at least show regard while he openly admits to caring not about the tripidation he causes.
I would be willing to place a letter together requesting the site’s administrators to set clear rules of engagement. Calling women whores simply because a woman (who by the way was not even talking to him) of Color answered another poster’s request to examine a question, is simply not civil.
Another poster suggested he was in the right and that it wasn’t his inflamatory, hate baiting tactics that causes a reaction. I just don’t believe that unfairness should be tolerated. If a woman or a man, black or white should contribute to the malignantcy of hate, the hate mongering should be squashed! Period! I think people are really exercising manipulation and subtlety to warrant there is no difference between someone stirring up hate and others engaging in obvious debate.
To say a person of Color hates is not to say, “I hate all people of Color”. People know what the difference is. If one can be subtle and stay within lines of fair engagement, they have the greater skill. Yet, being blatant and using such skill to cause attrition is all to flagrant. I want a place where I can discuss with Azrazyel and learn from such. To encourage whoever is seeking to live beyond their borders. To listen to life experience because I too may or may have already experience what is next.
I was called crazy because I compared a certain blogger to the well established hate waving banner of the Klu Klux Klan. If I had as much hatred in my heart and so imbitterly wanted to see the failing of any specific group or multitude of groups because they won’t think, act or do and say what I want them to, I would have to suffer the comparison. At the least consider rather or not I wanted to be implicated in such a notion.
Mr. Laurelton laughs at the pain he causes, admits he finds enjoyment at hurting the self image (purposefully) of others and thinks he does not have to observe rules of engagement like anyone else. He does this via a specific target of “ALL BLACK SELLOUT WOMEN” as he states. Making no definitive line between who he perceives as a sell out and who says what he likes to hear. What can be done to raise the bar so all can have access, not just folks trying to frighten or ostracize?
Comment by Ichibod on 27 September 2009:
If only you guys knew how badly “Miss never-dated-a black man-but-feels-they’re-all-evil-and-even-though-she-had-many-relationships-with-white men, they-evidently-didn’t-work-and-her-divorce-with-one-is-not-yet-final” almost angered me to tears with her hatred and stupidity. Some of you can recall who I’m talking about. My eyes watered a little after hearing some of the awful things she had to say about black men. She’s not the only one, but no one said anything to stop her or anyone of the other “button pushers” as 85Kguy refers to them.
Azrazyel,
The most honest answer I can give (because I like to ponder crap like this all the time) is… who knows? Your guess is as good as anyone else’s. There are people, knowing they are only looking for a particular race, who have “All Ethnicites” on the page just so they don’t seem close minded or predjudice.
“…is it because there is a more diverse white woman culture than black women…”
You could be on to something. Everyone is unique but we all will basically be categorized or can be caterogrized by ourselves into various subgenres, demographics, or other pigeonholes. The media, and any other forms of display and advertisement pertaining to a member of races, genders, or gender of race, has had a tendency to dictate how we talk, act, dress, eat, date, dance, fight, and even die. A stereotype might say a black guy will kill me whereas you may kill yourself, whiteboy. Ha! Just kidding, but you see where I’m coming from. Anyway, White women have been depicted in far more different personalities, settings, styles of dress, and dialects than black women. Black women have just as many diferent personalities, and inhabit many of the same walks of life, but you never see them depicted in this way in the mainstream. Hence, the perception is… what you had postulated above, however it’s not the reality.
That’s all I have right now. No telling how many people posted comments while I was proofreading this thing.
Comment by triccinicci on 28 September 2009:
Side Note:
Excuse the un-checked mistakes as I am needing to go (though I’ve learned a lot about the site by blogging today and enjoyed reading all the posts and different points of view). Just wanted to quickly add that Mr. Laurelton’s points and regard toward classifying his target are not really the issue. The name calling, gender suicide tactics he’s using and highly inflammatory hate-filled diatribes ARE!
I think not ONE person could or would want to take issue with his input, but this one cannot use the public forums to spread vile hate filled lies about your self directed thoughts and feelings which placate others. That is what YOUR personal blog site is for. Do what you want there, but civility is what has to be incorporated if we are to have a fair discussion. That is not me speaking, that is my First Amendment right to expect.
I hope the site administrator’s are seeing this, as something has to be done. For as much as we all can agree to disagree and have our personal thoughts and very own belief systems based on nothing more than generalizations, no one has the right to spread hate and filth in a public forum, Mr. Laurelton…and this is NOT a private membership club!
Comment by godiva61 on 28 September 2009:
laurelton queens,
In case you don’t know, or can’t remember, what I said to 85kguy, you can, and other’s as well go back and read the EXACT WORDS THAT I WROTE!
Once a person post a comment on here, it’s pretty much a done deal, so there is no need to try and IMPLY to what I said, or anyone else for that matter, including youself.
So for you to sit her and lie about what I said to 85kguy about asking him to allow me to BELIEVE Scoff/Sarah story is a complete falsehood!! I have no reason to believe that they are lying.. My theory about people who lie, that’s between them and GOD!! God does not need me to play monday morning quarterback about anything, icluding people that may or may not be lying!
What I said then, and I will reiterate it once again, ‘whether or not you or anyone else for that matter believes their story is your right to do so. If a person or persons do not want to hear their story, that’s well within their right as well.
However I do not believe then or now that anyone has the right to basically tell them to ’shut up, or be told know one want’s to hear that S___t, or to be blatantly disrespectful!! There are many IDIOTIC, UNCOUTH, DISRESPECTFUL, MEAN SPIRITED, DEGARDING, AND HUMILIATING COMMENT’S that the MAJORITY, on this site, do not wish to hear, but unfortunately we do.
Just as you have said on many occasion’s, that YOU have the right to speek freely on a public forum, and you do, well his a newsflash, so does everyone else including scoff/sarah have a right to share their story, and according to the free speech rule, they have a right to speak freely, without being persecuted, demeaned, or having some attempt to try and Censor them, such as being told to shut up!
How many people on this site has TRIED to appeal to your HUMANITY, by telling you that you are OFFENSIVE, DEGARDING, AND HUMILIATING with your INFLAMMATORY REMARKS AND NAME CALLING????? Many, women and men has tried to convey that message to you OFTEN!!!! For some reason you refuse to listen or have enough compassion and discipline, to try and begin to accept that your behavior is INNAPROPIATE!! Notice I said ‘your behavior’!
So your points, your statistics, your data is not being debated with you because you can not or will not be civil and it always end up with NAME CALLING!
If people don’t care to discuss the issues that you raise, is because of the way you speak to people!
Control the words, control the dialogue!
What I find so interesting and ironic is this theory of your’s about the reasons you go after black women in your verbal tirades, is because they are putting black men down, but we have witnessed on many occassions, that even the black women who do not or has ever indulged in this style of rhetoric, still receive the same type of treatment. You are denouncing a certain behavior towards black men, and all the while, you are doing the eaxct same thing to black women! I thought bad and immoral behavior was bad regardless of who the perpetrator is..
I have said this before and I will go to my grave saying it, ‘when you call black women nappy headed, sluts, whores and whatever else that has come from your mouth’, it is the EQUIVALENT of calling my mother, my sisters , my family, your family of women these exact same names, remember black women is PLURAL!!! It’s the exact thing when women behave in this manner… Black Men is Plural, so that means you a referring to my Daddy, my late husband, my son, and all the Decent Black Men who do not need to be further insulted with these stereotypes!
I wonder how many REAL MEN would allow you to speak to their wives, their daughter’s, their mother’s in this manner outside of this blog??? They seem to celebrate and explain your behavior here, or at the least look the other way, but I’m wondering how these same men would react if their wife or daughter came home after being verbally attacked??? If it’s not good for home then it sure as hell shouldn’t be here!! I’ve said this before and I will say it again, ‘there is room for improvement in all of us, and that includes yourself’!! Too many people have told you that you are offensive, but either your insecurity, stubborness, or your narcissm will not allow you to even listen and hear what has been said to you over and over again, and since it seems that you wont’ listen, so who in their right mind, would even contemplate having a debate with you??????? In a intelligent and meaningful conversation don’t at some point you have to listen, as well as talk?
godiva
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 28 September 2009:
(Drinking my orange juice)
It went from Klan member, to I spread “hate”. Now they are calling for the blog authorities over my “words”. You really can just shut off your computer if you don’t like the difference of opinion on this board. Let me address godiva. You basically told 85k guy that you want to believe a fake story so please don’t comment.
You can sugarcoat it and that is fine. We all know you avoid confrontation because you want to “please” everyone. You mention I make vile comments and imply I am all these bad things. Stop dancing around things and say what you really feel.
I have the right to say the novel is “fishy”. 85k guy said way more than me on the subject concerning the time period and “when” this happened. You hardly said anything. You sort of cowardly in a way. I don’t mind people going against me. You jump on the bandwagon to make yourself look good.
Where was all this tough talk with 85k guy?
As for the nappy headed slut comment. Yea I will call the Hofstra rape liar a nappy headed whore! That is how I feel. I will call you a slut when you let men run a train on you. You got me mixed up with Bill Cosby. I don’t have to be politically correct. You act like they are no sluts in the black community. These same middle class black women will be the first to say “go be with a hood rat”. But got the nerve to reprimand me. Ask a white guy if he dates a black ghetto girl? I wonder if Godiva calls ghetto black girls her sisters too. Stop lying to the public and my fans on my blog.
If you feel your family members are those comments. Then that is how you feel. I point out particular nappy headed women. I say who they are period. I called Tatt a loose booty by NAME. I called Justin Volpe’s black fiancee by name a dumb naive slut. Look for that blog post The Justin Volpe Story lol(Plug). Anyway, back to where I was.
I am listening to responses to topics. I will say how I feel about Scoff and Sara. All I said to them is I don’t believe you was giggle over milkshakes when Bull Conner sicked the dogs on Negros. It was a sarcastic comment. Many people have said things about them. Since I am the loudest you want to come out like I am the bad guy. Where was you when “fire” said “can you post this somewhere else”. You didn’t say shit Godiva. Stop telling people how to be or what to say.
You even tried to tell 85k guy how to feel and what to say. You don’t run this board. Sellout black women think they run this board. White men are rarely speaking on this because you are all overbearing women. God forbid they get into a relationship with you.
I don’t have a problem with Scoff and Sara. They explained the time period and what went on during the 1960s in Alabama. I am perfectly fine with the explanation now.
People name call all the time. They call me a cyber bully and etc. You see me crying and complaining to a moderator. Get to the topic, if you don’t like what is said. You got the freedom to turn off your computer too.
If I don’t like a show or something. I turn the channel.
Stop implying what “Real Men are”. If you knew what “REAL MEN” were you wouldn’t be single and desperate looking for a handout from white men.
Let’s get to the real deal. I am tired of playing games with these women. They want me out the picture because desperation is setting in. Who calls for moderators for words they don’t like? Go to a interracial seminar and stand in line for a white man. Just be productive with your lives.
There is white men right HERE in your face. You worried about what I am saying. That is why sellout black women=fail.
What’s up to all my friends on the board lol.
I AM TIRED OF SPANKING THEM EVERY TIME THEY RESPOND TO ME.
My niece don’t even whine this much.
Comment by godiva61 on 28 September 2009:
laurelton queens,
What I said to 85kguy is a matter of public record, that being said, anyone and everyone can go back and read what I have already written… Your perception of what I was saying to him, is a matter of your reading comprehension skills.. As far as I am concerned, the verbal exchange between him and I was last week, it’s over, he has moved on and so have I, and I have no ill will toward’s him, he is still my brother and it’s a brand new day..
I am not the FIRST to tell you about your inappropiate comments, and I’m sure that I won’t be the last, of course it’s all a lie because you NEVER do anything wrong.. You have always behaved in a most honorable, noble and gentlemen like manner..
As far as scoff/sarah account of their life, is fake or not, that is a matter of opinion, and you know what they say about opinion’s?
Fire321 comments to scoff/sarah was what she wanted to say and how she felt, as it should be.. The reason why she was not maligned by other’s was because she was not mean spirited or disrespectful, that’s the difference and the example of how to be honest, without being disrespectful..
I approach this site and the people on it in the exact manner as I do in my personal life.. Which means that I try and treat people in the same manner in which I want to be treated, no more, no less… I was taught to have manners, and respect for people.. I may not agree with everything that people say, but I have no right to treat them badly just because they have a difference of opinion.
Since you don’t know me personally, it seems a little premature, and irresponsible of you to assume that I dance around a subject.. If and when I have something to say, I say it.. I say what I mean and I mean what I say! True some people here has expressed their fondness of me, and I to them.
From where I’m sitting being liked is NOT a bad thing!! For those who like me, that’s fine and for those who don’t, well that’s fine to.. My way of interracting with people is, my way, the way that I am accustomed to and so far it has worked well for my life…. The reason why I take great strides to treating people with dignity and respect is for this main reason, which is ‘I know without any doubt, that one day I am going to be held accountable for every word that comes out of my mouth, and for every deed’.. Also I think it’s more productive to be pro active instead of being reactive.
Ghetto girls, men who are imprisioned, people that are blind, bound to a wheel chair, the poor, the sick, the elderly, are ALL my brothers and sisters. Most people that live in the ghetto, do not want to be there, however because of their economic situation, they can only afford to live in the ghetto. I am blessed to never had to live in the ghetto, or live in one now, but I can not and will not look down on the one’s who haven’t had the opportunities and means as I have. Just because a young woman, ghetto girls as you say, has not had a positive or nurturing influence on their life in order to act like a lady, yes they still are my sisters.. The only thing that I can do for them is pray for them, and if and when I get the opportunity to make a difference in their lives, I will do so, because, once again, I am going to be held accountable for my deeds one day.!!
Lastly, my official title is “WIDOWED”! Technically I am single, not because I’m desperate, not because I’m incapable of having a loving healthy relationship, it’s becasue “to death do us apart”! This was not my will, but the will of GOD!
When God Blessed me with him, HE can an will do it again if he so desires. I just have to ask, believe, wait with patience, grace and dignity, and all the while, act in a manner that is pleasing to HIM, this includes treating people in the way HE wants me to treat them.. If I’m not grateful, and thankful for what and who I have in my life at this moment, He will not Bless me to go the next level…
godiva
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 28 September 2009:
Dear Godiva
I never do anything wrong. You are right. My questions seem to be inflammatory to those who think “they know me”. You said this comment……
“Since you don’t know me personally, it seems a little premature, and irresponsible of you to assume that I dance around a subject.. If and when I have something to say, I say it.. I say what I mean and I mean what I say! True some people here has expressed their fondness of me, and I to them.”
So what makes you think you know me? I never said I knew you personally. You made comments as to insinuate that I make “hate” comments. People that know me personally know I am guy with a sense of humor. I think you got on the bandwagon and assumed things about me.
Anything I talk about, I tend to back them up. If I call a woman derogatory name I maybe sarcastic or I actually feel that what she is. There are whores in the black community. There are nappy headed black women in the black community that bash black men.
I don’t have that need or desire to please people like you. You said that you have ‘friends”. That does not mean you can around and assume things about people you don’t agree with.
I don’t tell you your evil or anything like that. If you are going to preach to people. Practice what you preach with EVERYBODY.
I treat people with dignity and respect. But do not insult my intelligence. I got voice my opinion the Scoff and Sara story. That is my right just like other did. Where does it say I have to be respectful about it.
That is just bullshit talk to limit my speech because you do not “personally” like me. I may not like half the people here but I never tell them “talk in this manner”. I could do that but you know that is being fake.
I hate your guts but let me be polite about it. Give me a break. For the record, I don’t hate anybody. I like debating an issue. Everybody else gets into the petty stuff like “have manners please”.
What your marriage has to do with this topic anyway?
We have a difference of opinion in scripture too. Jesus showed his wrath in the bible by kicking out gamblers out of his “father’s house”. There is this perception that Jesus turned the other cheek on “everything”. For example, he never said don’t kill Mary for being an adulteress. He said “those without sin cast the first stone”.
I comprehend very well Mrs Godiva. Get off your high horse.
Comment by morpheous on 15 January 2010:
I am very confused about my dating preference,i’ve dated one white female and a black female,i always have been attracted to white females but then again,i have always been attracted to black females too.
I have been doing alot of soul searching lately,i need to find out if i am attracted to white women for the wrong reasons,also find out if i am holding something agaist black women,that is very unfair.