Diggs on being criticized for interracial marriage
Most celebrities have been at the center of an ongoing hot-button debate in the country – interracial dating and marriage. And actor Taye Diggs wasn’t left out because of his marriage to Idina Menzel (pictured right).
In a recent interview on Voice Online, Diggs talks about the criticism and attitude they have encountered. Much as his relationship has not been smooth sailing because of this negativity, he says he understands how one would feel rejected when a member of the “clan… chooses to be with someone from another clan.” He also admits to being judgmental when he was younger.
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“When I was growing up, there were guys who dated everybody, there were guys that only dated black girls, and there were guys who only dated white girls. Back then, I used to judge the black guys that only dated white girls and for so long, I wanted people to know, I’m not one of those guys,” Diggs confesses.
But now things are different and he can’t stand it coz its 2010 people.
And to all the condemnation of his interracial relationship, he says: “If you like me, you like me, if you don’t, you don’t… Once people realize that this is a real relationship and that I’m not with my wife because she’s white, but because she’s a wonderful person, all that other stuff falls by the wayside”. In spite all this, Diggs says for most of the part, people have been positive about their relationship.
Sometimes we get caught up in a particular mentality that has been embedded in our brains since the time we were born. But if you think about it, do you truly feel that way? We can shake off such mentalities that deter us from seeing the bigger picture - Think “This is a wonderful person” as opposed to “This is a [race] person”.
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49 responses to "Diggs on being criticized for interracial marriage"
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shotgun007 says:Posted: 03 Aug 10
I don't get it, folks. Is Taye Diggs, even a subject? Let alone his preference for companionship. Last I checked, he's been with this person for ages, they are old news. Can we get past this whole "black women views on black men & non-black women" and who BM have chosen to date. For crying out loud, please don't believe the media-crazed garbage and sob-stories in Ebony/Essence/Redbook/ or 20/20 TV specials that falsely depict black women finding it "difficult" to get over black men dating interracially. I'm getting a little tired of being grouped into this clan of upset women, when in essence I don't care. To anyone out there, listen: MANY OF US DON'T CARE WHO BM DATE!!! Calgon, take me away!LOL Shotgun007
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 27 Jul 10
Comment by azachillies on 22 July 2010: "...Often its stereotypes and strong influences that lead one person to dismiss those of their own race." Petite: I agree and I think many of us can say we share some blame in this. The flip-side to this: "often stereotypes can be strong influences that lead others to dismiss those outside of their race for fear of such perceived perceptions! Not always warranted but present nevertheless. I speak for myself.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 27 Jul 10
Comment by tynana37 on 19 July 2010: I believe the reason he, unlike others who have married outside their race, is catching so much slack is because he put down a whole race of women (Black Women) to justify his wanting to be with another race. If that is what you want, so be it, be true to your marriage and be true as to why you married her, not based on her race, but based on love… Petite: I agree with you on this. Black men don't want to be berated, but neither do Black women. Where does it end?
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azachillies says:Posted: 22 Jul 10
Best wishes to them. We shouldn't have problems with interracial dating but I think its valid to ask what was the criteria they had to accept a suitable partner and what aided in forming those reasons. Often its stereotypes and strong influences that lead one person to dismiss those of their own race. Sometimes its bad experiences, but you just can't date one guy or woman and generalize about that whole group. Don't forget media and social history has a lot to do with it too. There are sexes of a racial groups that are favored over others and their cohorts are put down and left out of the picture.
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julius26 says:Posted: 21 Jul 10
To chocolateLady their are black men who mistreat black women and also black women who mistreat black men it goes both ways
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ChocolateLady says:Posted: 20 Jul 10
I expect to get a great deal of negative feed-back, bring it on. I was just expressing my feelings.
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ChocolateLady says:Posted: 20 Jul 10
Personally it bothers me that Taye Diggs married a white woman. I had to put it out there. I feel hurt that another young black man, high profiled married another white woman. To me there are just not enough black men to go around and he did this to us, especially since he had the lead role in the movie Best Man or The Wood-you know the name of the movie. He portrayed a young BM in love with a young BW then he marries her. And then he turns arounds, flips the script as in Private Practice he runs to a white woman. Again I'm sorry, I want to apologize, call me prejudice, but this hurtful to me when I see this over and over again. OJ Simpson did it, what happen to him? Tiger Woods did it, what happening to him? But Tiger did not know that he was a BM, different story. Even Mr. Sidney Portia did it and the list goes on. Call me crazy or delusional call me whatever you want, that is the very reason why I promote Black Women with White Men. Love is love and it just as easy for a BW to fall in love with a WM as it is with a BM. So now my sistas, go find you a white man and love him. It's like Mr. Taye Diggs said he is with her not because she is white but because she is a wonderful person and he is compatible with her and he is in love with her. There are Plenty of White Men that Love and Adore Black Women. I mean truly love and respect Black women and I do not have a problem with them getting together. I rather like it, I have seen it with my own eyes that the White Men and Non-Black Men are treating Black Women better than their own kind. So, I encourage any young BW if a young WM is interested in you go for it, as long as he doesn't mistreat you, he truly loves you, adores and respects you and your heritage go for it. Give him a try:)
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blue_id_soul says:Posted: 20 Jul 10Man, come on... I get tired of hearing about how white women that date black men are somehow bowing to their man's every whim and request (Slim Thug's inferences). That's just ridiculous! I am a strong woman and need a strong man by my side and for us to be a team. I will never be the submissive, keep quiet and do as you're told type. It's Bonnie n' Clyde, ride or die for this chick!
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tynana37 says:Posted: 19 Jul 10I believe the reason he, unlike others who have married outside their race, is catching so much slack is because he put down a whole race of women (Black Women) to justify his wanting to be with another race. If that is what you want, so be it, be true to your marriage and be true as to why you married her, not based on her race, but based on love...
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jadaa says:Posted: 18 Jul 10
We black women have to realize that dating outside our race is nothing just as how dating outside race is not a big deal for black men...Stop the effin' sleeping on yoursels girlzzz!!!
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sam says:Posted: 09 Jul 10
Well I might as well comment on this one since PetiteChick was askin did I already. Good for Taye and Idina. If they are happy, it's ok. I have no problem with this at all. I think this is good in general too, because more the celebrities cross the color line, more accepted it will come in general after some time. Someday nobody pays any attention for "interracial" couples, families or what ever. I don't know his motives, his comments about the black women (they might be negative, I don't know), but in general this is good thing. Best way to get rid of racism is to show that there are no barriers or boundries or walls in between the so-called races. One day it will be so. Progress is slow but it is a progress. 50 years ago this would have been a huge scandal, 100 years ago Taye would have been taken to the court like Jack Johnson was. So good job, I say. Bring down the race frontiers! There's gold in them hills! Sorry, the last sentence was from some old movie and I got carried away...
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Shelly says:Posted: 07 Jul 10
Mike8915 In a perfect world! I think it is up to our younger generation to see this through. We have to start anew where older Americans have ingrained ideas, beliefs and perceptions. It is important to reach our young to see no color or boundaries. Unfortunately, if they don't get it at home which is often the case, then they must use a form of resistance. The question is, will they?
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 05 Jul 10
Hi Kmark: "Clan" mentality? Many Black women have moved on and really aren't concerned with what Black men are doing. You are here on an interracial dating site you can see for yourself! LOL. I have absolutely no problem with anyone's dating preference. What I do have a problem with is when either sex of our race uses the other sex as an excuse/primary reason for why they chose "other." Taye's excuse was because Black women didn't give him the time of day. Well hey that's probably true, but ummmmm, had he passed MY way that would not have been the case. Point I'm trying to make is, what kind of Black women was he trying to get with? Maybe he gave up to easily? Maybe Black women give up too easily too? Who knows? The same goes for Black women. To want other because the brother wants "other" and we should do likewise, because afterall, they don't want us. It's a viscious repetoire of blame it on who? It won't stop. We will always blame each other. I don't know how we get pass the blame game and the hurt but that is what it is. We can call it all kinds of things, analyze it with a fine tooth comb but the remaining overall factor will be that of hurt and blame. Everyone has a right to choose whom they desire. I dare someone to tell me who I should want, LOL. But I don't want to have the "other" because I blame the man of my race. I want him because he found me first and made me happy. The Blame game - It won't stop!
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kmark72 says:Posted: 05 Jul 10I understand what both Taye Diggs and Slim Thug are saying. Hear me out before you get on me: I think Diggs summed it up best when her referred to the perceived disdain of black women for him when they see him with someone not black as hurtful because of the "clan" mentality. That street goes both ways though. I can remember distinctly several instances where black women would not even give me the time of day once they heard me speak or saw who I was around most (I was orphaned at birth, adopted by a white family and raised in a predominantly white world). I've long lost count of the number of times I was declared "not black" or "not black enough" by both men and women of color. Having that happen enough times really soured me on dating a black woman. As for Slim Thug, I think the issue is twofold. First, he's probably reacting the way he is because of things he has experienced in his life. Second, what he's referring to seems to be more of a socialization problem than a color one.
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Johnm27 says:Posted: 01 Jul 10For me i think love doesn't have nothing to do with race or color what matters are as long as you love the person you feel like we'll be a perfect i couldn't ask more than that!!
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Nawlunzguy says:Posted: 01 Jul 10
Love is color blind, and should be. Congrats Taye and Idina. May you both enjoy a very long and happy life together!
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naturalrocks says:Posted: 01 Jul 10Well said Diggs.That,s the mine reason i joined this site as there races from all over both black and white.But its so annoying that some people here are looking for a specific race yet they are cute lol!Some white dudes are so obsessed with dark skin.I guess the sterotype still exists.
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hellohunny says:Posted: 29 Jun 10
"If you like me, you like me, if you don’t, you don’t" best emphasis i've read on the topic. someone's always gonna dislike you out there, but why have that keep you from being happy.
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friendly13 says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@ hmontaq On 23 June 2010 you said: "Its so hard to be happy with anyone in this day and age. If you find someone who you are attracted to who loves you and treats you with the admiration, affection, and commitment you share and deserve then the world can stick it when it comes to the simple subject of skin color. The person you need to please is yourself and your special someone. Good luck to us all" **************** Well, said and so true.
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friendly13 says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@ Sam I don't doubt it. He probably did toot his horn a little too loudly. I won't judge him though because I don't know the reasoning behind it. As an IR dater myself I know how society can really hate on you. Maybe he is trying to make a change. Anyone who tries to do that is going to face rejection and ridicule. I'm like PetiteChick though, not a real big fan of his or his wifes anyway. To me they are just some famous people trying to get more attention and stay in the lime light. I am certainly not going to lose any sleep over who he is married too.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@fkoi: ADDITION/CORRECTION add to this portion "on what this rapper had to say.. about Black WOMEN." Thanks again.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
Thank you for responding fkoi! I wanted to get an opinion of someone other than a Black woman/man on what this rapper had to say. Peace.
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fkoi says:Posted: 24 Jun 10Ms. PetiteChick, 'Coz you asked: Slim Thug is just a guy. I don't know him. I know what he does for a living. He has been successful at it for a bit. Why is he an authority on women or "an authority on Blackness" or anything else? Because we live in a celebrity-crazed society. I don't necessarily ask my plumber to be an expert on automobiles, though I do respect his right to have an opinion (even if I think he is full of swill). Why would a rapper's opinion on life, women or race relations necessarily be my guiding light? When Thug starts talking about "Black women this" or "White women that", he has left his field of expertise and wandered into generalizations based on race. There is a name for that eludes me for the moment. LOL. Even when he talks about "my girl", he doesn't let her be her. He talks about her "half-White" side. Further, where is the love if both people are looking at what one DOES for the other; cooking, cleaning, putting up the bucks? I'm not looking to break down the menial chores of life into a 50/50 split. Do we inspire each other? Do we feel supported by each other? Do we make each other better people? Do we get a thrill when we see each other walking through the door and a bit of a pang when we see each other walking out the door?
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
All: The media, individuals involved can shape this outcome so that we can tear down some of these stereotypes. It depends on the motive of the media and person giving such an interview. I said ALLLLL OF THAT to say, there is a positive influence of inter-racial families being portrayed in television commercials. One such commercial is for T-Mobile here in the Northeast. Black wife with White husband and Black son. Both Black wife and Black son don't appear to be half mixed. THAT my friends is a good example of moving forward in a progressive and thoughtful way on interracial relationships. I'm sure Tmobile will get no flack for it either. They are the best in the Northeast!
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
Ichibod: I have no problem with Taye's statements. I'm happy for him. I DO HOWEVER, have a problem with thuggish SLIM THUG being an authority on what Black women need to do. There are many Black women who don't care about who Black men date. We don't. As you can see we're doing what we want to do. I know I am. But for a thug type wrapper to talk down at Black women and then belittle his white (oops that was his brother) these men are not men in my opinion. They want some kind of props that they may or may not have earned. SLIM THUG? GETS no props from me, nor does this so-called brother of his.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@ Sam: you stated: "...The rumour was his tv show Daybreak was cancelled due to low ratings and the low ratings was blamed on us truly because the love interest was not black." ------ Umm last time I checked Black folk don't compromise the majority of the viewing public in these United States. So if he [Taye] believes this and did this interview at a jab at us Black women it still didn't help his cause. If the show was crap then the show was crap. That's all.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@my girl friendly! Heyyyyyyy sis! Yes, girl why do they have to make a big deal about it? He's been with her for quite some time. Unfortunately, I don't particularly care for him as an actor, but his personal life and who he wants to be with him is his bizness.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 24 Jun 10"“When I was growing up, there were guys who dated everybody, there were guys that only dated black girls, and there were guys who only dated white girls. Back then, I used to judge the black guys that only dated white girls and for so long, I wanted people to know, I’m not one of those guys,” Diggs confesses." I agree with Taye. Everyone thought I was "one of those guys" when I was growing up. Those kinds of guys (and ladies) were annoying to me, and still are. I was always... not afraid, but... cautious about talking to other races of woman because I would imagine a cacophony of "I told you so" or "I knew it" would erupt. That was high school. I'm 30 something now. I just want a woman and I have many different varieties to choose from. “If you like me, you like me, if you don’t, you don’t… Once people realize that this is a real relationship and that I’m not with my wife because she’s white, but because she’s a wonderful person, all that other stuff falls by the wayside.” Well said, Taye!
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Sam says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
Friendly13, The media always wants a story but Taye wanted into too. He knew he would get press because of it. The rumour was his tv show Daybreak was cancelled due to low ratings and the low ratings was blamed on us truly because the love interest was not black.
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friendly13 says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@ Jenna I agree with you. I think they make a very nice looking couple too. The media is just hating on him and trying to make him look bad because he is married to a white woman. They both look so happy. If the media could tear that up they will. But hopefully, Ty and his wife have a love that is strong enough to survive the negative light the try to put the new couple in.
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friendly13 says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@ Mike8915 You said "... it’s not about race or color, it’s about loving someone, not their skin color." This so true.
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friendly13 says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@ PetiteChick You said "...Do what you love and love what you do!" That is so right on.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@ Sam Didn't you know these thug wanna-be's think they know about love when all they can pump out music- wise is how they met a chick in da club and wanna take her home and do.... It's porno on wax!!! IT ALL SOUNDS THE SAME. Wonder if they got any good Black women at home for real? Uggghhhhhh
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
@hmotang I agree. I want someone I am attracted to, that is attracted to me, that wants me and I want him. Race, color shouldn't matter to anyone but me. If I want a blue tailed midget - and I find him attractive, that's MY bizness!
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Sam says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
Taye, who. I love private practice but not because of him. He needs to love his wife and stop bringing up bw. He needs to stop playing the bw card in order to advance his career or at least get media coverage. Lame....not surprising. As for Slim thug, he needs therapy. I pity the women who get involved with him. His take on relationships is what men can get out of them. Not once did he mention what men ought to do for their women. Actually, the same traits he blamed bw for were the same he displayed but somehow in bm it was ok. Ladies, kick this trash out.
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hmontaq says:Posted: 24 Jun 10
Its so hard to be happy with anyone in this day and age. If you find someone who you are attracted to who loves you and treats you with the admiration, affection, and commitment you share and deserve then the world can stick it when it comes to the simple subject of skin color. The person you need to please is yourself and your special someone. Good luck to us all...
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
Hi Jenna! Yes, I agree. I don't care either. I don't know what it is with this whole thing that Black women care about the kind/type of women they date. SLIM THUG, teeheee. OMG don't even get me started on some of these rappers, uuuggghhhh. I agree with your opinion on him as well.
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Jenna says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I see no big deal with Taye Diggs marrying a white woman! As a matter of fact I am damned happy about it, they look so good together.Love isn't about color or race! @Rene06 I agree with your take on the Slim Thug issue! @ PetitChick girl the rapper is an ass! That's my opinion!
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
@fkoi I suppose you are referring to only the Taye Diggs piece. What have you to say about the piece from the rapper I posted? Your thoughts if any...... Thanks.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
@Rene06 I agree. The media keeps this stuff going on too. “The way Black people think in general is messed up. Both men and women need to change their way of thinking." --- I'd love to know who died and made HIS THUG self an authority on Blackness and we need and don't need. If it were coming from someone who was truly interested in seeing us a cohesive group such as Dr. Cornel West and others I admire, then I'd sit up and take notice. His ilk takes the $$$ and runs at the expense of his own people. Black folk aren't monolithic in our behavior, thinking or anything else any other group isn't monolithic in. Ugghhhhhh.
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fkoi says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
Much ado about nothing: a. He says, "I’m not with my wife because she’s white, but because she’s a wonderful person..." and I don't doubt him and b. Who cares? Not I.
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Rene06 says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
What this SLIM THUG guy has to say about black, AND white women, is an ignorant generalization not about one, but two specific groups of individuals. His insulting, and offensive comparatives should never have been published, because it only unfairly adds to the fuel of contention between black men, and black women. It portrays us black men as always blaming black women for a failed relationship, while summarily implying that white women are only good for being a ditzy pushover who loves servitude. Rubbish!
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Mike8915 says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
I think it is cool that Taye's opinions changed. I agree with him, it's not about race or color, it's about loving someone, not their skin color.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
More accolades [not] from Black men about Black women... This time from someone many Black women wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole! METHINKS POT CALLS KETTLE BLACK. SLIM THUG states (from Vibe): "The way Black people think in general is messed up. Both men and women need to change their way of thinking. It’s hard to trust a Black woman [sometimes] because a lot of Black women’s mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her⎯ he gotta pay for this, he gotta pay for that, and if it ain’t about money then a lot of them ain’t f’ing with him. If that’s what you’re here for then I don’t want to be with you. Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more. They can’t just be running around with their head up in the air and passing all of us. I have a brother that dates a White woman and he always be f’ing with me about it saying, “Y’all gotta go through all that ish [but] my White woman is fine. She don’t give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y’all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other ish.” My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the ish that I say, so we make it. She just takes care of me and I like that. She don’t be begging and I don’t gotta buy her all this crazy *** ish. And she’s a smart girl too. She graduated from Columbia [University] and I like that about her so it’s cool. I’ve dated girls that will buy a $3,000 bag and don’t know how to pay it off on their credit cards. They walk around in these Louis Vuittons and red bottoms but they’re riding around in raggedy cars, so it’s just getting your priorities right. White women treat they man like a king and Black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that ish. Black women need to stand by their man more. Don’t always put the pressure of if I’m f’ing with you, you gotta buy me this and that. Black men are the ones that need [but] I think a lot of them need to step it up too. A Black man who gets a little bread will go make it rain in the club and be broke the next day or instead of him going to invest in a business he gonna go buy new jewelry or a new car and still live in the hood. Black peoples’ mentality is real crazy in general [and] it’s affecting everything. Black women need to be more genuine and be more 50/50 [but] It should be a fair exchange in a relationship period or eventually somebody is gonna feel like they’re getting f’ed over whether it’s the woman or the man. I think that will help Black relationships out a lot." @ all: I would have posted the Direct link but was afraid it wouldn't post.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 23 Jun 10
I read "excerpts" of the article on another site I visit called Black Voices. Here, there are some women who voice their dislike and there are just as many who don't care. Again the same article as a feed on my FB page with many comments on this article. Again some women who care and some who don't. It may be hard for a lot of Black men to believe, but a lot of Black women (including myself) don't care who Black men date. I honestly don't. What I don't like is when we're [Black women] are USED as an excuse to date outside of your race. Do what you love and love what you do!
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- 6. What kind of Black woman dates a White man?
- 7. Why do men almost always reappear after a breakup?
- 8. 16 things to never say about a mixed person
- 9. Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?
- 10. Is the White man the Black woman’s ideal man?
I love all races,colors,and creeds. Peace and love.