Colorism has plagued this nation since God knows when. There is a common belief that light skin is beautiful, means more opportunities, better jobs, more respect, acknowledgement and better treatment from society.
Some Black women bleach themselves so they can ‘beautiful’. Having looked up the word beautiful, there is no mention of ‘color’ in the definition. Anyhow, here are a couple of reasons two women gave for bleaching:
“Most of this is done to impress men, and when you have black brothers telling you things like ‘I’d rather see 12 black women die than to see one white women with a runny nose’… then you have artist like Chris Rock, coming on TV making Fun of black women, and mocking them. Its like what are you suppose to do?”
“My husband fell in love with me but completely adores my skin color. I can’t change my skin tone now cause he knows me as being light. Bottom line is if you are ugly, nobody notices when u are light skin.”
So what do you make of this woman (featured on the Tyra Banks show – video below) who in a twisted attempt to make herself ‘beautiful’ bleached her 3 sons too … exposing their delicate skin to harsh concoctions every day; with the darkest one getting a little extra?
Bleaching yourself is one thing. But doing it to ones own children!!!! 
They say light skinned people have it easier over their dark skinned counterparts. They say a mother knows best. But seriously, is this what it’s come to; altering our children’s perceptions on color? This is exactly how racism is bred.
No pun intended but looking at how those of us who are ‘rich in color’ spring in to action in reaction to ‘racism’ or perceived racism against us, don’t you think by doing so, we are responsible for promoting the slave mentality and colonial mindset we are trying so hard to eliminate?
Noplayer : I got confused / May I take this time to Ask ?
You quoted ” I hold on to my cultural roots not because of some of the things you mentioned , but for the sake of being grounded .”
Don ‘t Forget / Everyone is an Individual – who has to Daily perform the same acts in order to Enjoy this Life .
Please allow me to Help . Try to retain your memory thru Good Eating Habits and tomorrom when you look in the mirror / You will be the same person you were yesterday – Older but the same Individual as When I look in my mirror I shall say to myself ” See you Tomorrow .”
My question ” for the sake of being grounded ?”
Excuse Me : People will do as they wish , that is Their Right to Life . As far as the Original Blog Topic is Concerned .
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when i think about this topic i think about the most talented singer of alltime king of pop who past this July , R.I.P Micheal .Some time i cant comprehend what will make ah person do what they do but there are so many outside an inside influences i cant begin to emagine but all i know i’m black an thats how god made me an wont have it any other way , cause i beleive once ah man loses his color he loses his streng to cope with the trials an tribulation that maybe thrust apon him or her . As black we are strong from thew begining of time an these women in that clip on have been psycologicaly been defeated by society .
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Wow this is really getting funny and silly at the same time.
@ Whiteanprd
Next time read the post (assuming you can read)completely before responding. Thank you for also viewing my pics and providing me your opinion. Although you may find me “morbidly obese” or “find it hard to believe someone as educated and positive about life, could not see the negativity and shortness of your own life.” I am content with myself and enjoy my life; thanks for noticing that I am educated and positive about life. Oh besides you didn’t post your pic, which makes me wonder how attractive are you that you are afraid to show your face. I may not be attractive to you and you “cannot see why White man on this site would want to date you”, I’m actually dating a white man who I met on this site which is why my profile is hidden. Nevertheless, I appreciate your feedback and honesty of your opinion. Only thing I’m wondering is why are you on an interracial dating website, it doesn’t seem like you care too much for people of color? Your ethnocentricism is very vibrant in your writing.
Thank you so much for sharing your true feelings. However, I’d like to point out that if you actually read my response you will notice I agree that California has much more hate attacks than the south. Here’s my quote “As far as being called a “Negroe” it’s funny because I hear it quite frequently. Which is ironic as I live in California; and one would think you would here it more in the South.”
@ ladylove1
.
Thank you for your lengthy reponse and clarification to your comments directed at NoPlayer. You stated that you are not angry, this is good! However, you seem to be a very strong writer :0. Why disect everything and attempt to invalidate my response, when you are only confirming them. Please compare your post from 8-5 to your recent post on 8-7 and maybe you will see what my concern was. I’m with No Player, I’m going to see Dr. Phil
@ Homesteader
Once again your posts has confused me. But my comment to you was not in agreement or disagreement. I was actually thanking you for sharing the law in Texas about self defense.
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Colorism can be defined as the practice of placing value on skin tones, with a preference for lighter skin. This behavior pervades the mentality of many cultural societies to such a large degree that many of us have become desensitized to it, and even have come to accept it as part of our own way of thinking.
African American writer Maya Angelou comments on this issue in her book “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”. The narrator says: “Wouldn’t they be surprised when one day I woke out of my black ugly dream, and my real hair, which was long and blond, would take the place of the kinky mass Momma wouldn’t let me straighten? My light-blue eyes would hypnotize them”
Why is it that our society has this disturbing “color stuck” obsession? One factor comes from the enslavement of Africans, who were subsequently shipped out of Africa into the US and the Caribbean. Sexual relations between white masters and black slaves resulted in mixed children who bore more Caucasian features than other slaves, like a lighter skin tone and straighter hair and noses. These individuals were favored over darker slaves because they could “pass” for white, and were thus given more opportunities for education and to climb the social ladder. Thus the message black men and women learned was that European features were more desirable and were synonymous with social status and beauty. We still share this message today.
However, colorism is more an issue within a racial or ethnic group, rather across racial groups. With colorism, people discriminate against their own people, by valuing lighter skin over dark skin. Look at any catalog, magazine or television commercial featuring an African American woman, and usually she will have a light skin tone, and straight hair, or that “nice” curly hair that is unlike the kinky texture most African Americans have. Watch those BET and MTV music videos. They feature such a high percentage of light-skinned video dancers that it’s almost a shock to see a woman with mocha or chocolate colored skin tones. Look at the Latino soap operas, where most of the star actors and actresses have European features and do not really represent the diverse range of features that the Latino population possesses. In many Asian cultures, people who have lighter skin are thought to be of a higher class, because they do not have to work in the sun, which would give them darker skin.
This practice of colorism has affected our mentality so much-to the point where in our societies, young girls cannot wait till they’re old enough to relax their hair chemically (to make it straighter). To the point where some individuals have “light skin” as part of their criteria for choosing a mate. To the point where skin bleaching creams have become a standard item in the cosmetic bags of many women.
Colorism. If you’ve never thought about it before as a problem, now is a good time to analyze how hurtful it can be to young women of color. It creates serious divisions among us, and can create a negative self-perception for those who aren’t born with the “right” skin tone and features. We all need to recognize colorism for what it is- a superficial, divisive, and destructive mindset. And if we can break that mentality within ourselves and refuse to reinforce it in our societies, then we can break the cycle of passing this practice on to future generations…and maybe one day soon colorism itself will be a legacy of the past.
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I understand about not feeling beautiful because of an attribute that you cannot control because that is how you were born. As I grew up I was teased and called ‘big nose’ because my face hadn’t grown into my nose yet. If someone called me pretty or beautiful as a young adult I never believed it because of the teasing I had endured for so long as a child. I was in my 20s before I believed in my own beauty. I accepted my nose and never had a nose job because I felt it wouldn’t be natural. I do understand that our society treats lighter women better but I also know dark skinned women who are beautiful and stunning and gifted and talented. We cannot honor the ignorance in others. We have to honor the beauty within and without and not concern ourselves with the world. To mutilate yourself out of concern for what someone else thinks about you is sad to me. These women on Tyra’s show are damaged and they are damaging their children. It is so sad.
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Wow! That is about the most ignorant interpretation of the biblical scripture I have read since the Third Reich Diaries on he history. The author in her anti-semetic rantings seeks to castigate the Jewish people by saying, “Too bad those Jews did not realize that it was their unrighteous living that cast those plagues upon them. Not Pharoah or the Egyptians.” As a person of Jewish descent I have hear similar rantings such as the authors before. I comes from a very simple minded understand of religious theology. Perhaps the author might want to put down her weekend warrior Benny Hen Sunday School books and actually seek formal trianing in theology before making what amounts to Nazi rhetoric during WWII.
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“I comes from a very simple minded understand of religious theology”.
Yes, you do, see I agree with you. Since you are of Jewish heritage, are you spending equal time spewing your simpled minded understanding or back to your stalking?
It is a good thing the Jews learned from their mistakes and grew strong both here and in Israel? I guess they don’t prescribe to the victim mentality…Perhaps you can have a talk with your kinfolk.
Perhaps you could un-concern yourself with my posts or weekends and do whatever it is that you do, you know when you are not stalking me.
I guess this is the part where you remove your picture and post back with the same name in a spew.
Like name calling and other unmanly qualities. LOL
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Knowledge is to be Shared , Enjoyment is just part of Livimg .
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In this article from the Independent Newspaper printed back in 1997, talking about British Black women using skin lighter.
[QUOTE]
The lighter the better?
As Naomi Campbell speaks out about racism, Dawn Daniels (left) reveals how more young black women are using skin lighteners to achieve the fashionable pale-skinned look
Sunday, 13 April 1997
Skin lightener has always been available in one form or another, but there has actually been an increase in its usage in the past few years, especially among young black women.
….
Elaine, a 22-year-old sales assistant from Manchester, who has been using these creams for more than a year, puts it bluntly. “I use it to be more popular. Everyone knows that in the black community, lighter skin is considered more attractive by a lot of people.” Alison, 20, is a politics student. She doesn’t use skin lighteners herself, but confirms Elaine’s point. “It’s mixed-race girls who get all the attention – this isn’t jealousy, it’s a fact. A lot of black men like light-skinned girlfriends, because white is still seen as successful, and the closer you can be to that ideal, the better. And because a lot of young black men are now pretty reluctant to have relationships outside their own race because of being criticised, they go out with light-skinned or mixed-race girls instead.”
Erica, a 19-year-old student, experienced this first hand. “I went on holiday to Barbados a few years ago with my twin sister, who is lighter than me, and men were always chatting to her, telling her how good-looking she was. They assumed she was a model and complimented her on how pale she was. I was totally ignored. I was really surprised.”
The health risks are well documented, but many women appear to be unaware of them, or are perhaps prepared to ignore them to achieve the “valued” look. Jessica, 24, says she would not even let herself go out into the sun, because she was so terrified of her skin darkening. “I know it seems really silly now, but at the time I was obsessed with being pale. I knew quite a few light-skinned black women who were always popular and successful and never had a shortage of boyfriends. Now I’m left with skin that is patchy and flaky and I don’t think it will ever recover.”
Many women who use skin lighteners believe it has changed their lives – although this could have as much to do with an increase in their confidence as the lightness of their complexion. Sarah, 25, an unemployed graduate, used cream with a dangerously high hydroquinone content of eight percent for more than two years. “At first it was great,” she says. “I was asked out a lot more and was also promoted. But then my skin started to go darker, no matter how much I used it, which, by this stage, was about three times a day. I also began to mix different brands, so it became difficult to apply make-up, because it would slide off my face after a few hours.” But Sarah’s problems didn’t stop there. “Not long ago, I went to have a make-over done and the sales assistant asked me whether I’d ever used skin lightener. I denied it, but she knew, because she said there were tell-tale signs – such as dark and light patches and the texture of my skin was thinner. Now I can’t wear make-up or expose my face to the sun. A dermatologist told me my skin is permanently damaged. My skin won’t absorb anything, not even moisturiser.”
Esther, a 30-year-old student, used skin lightener when she was very young, growing up in a white neighbourhood. “I felt so isolated, I just wanted to look like all my white friends. I straightened my hair and started to use the cream and it wasn’t long before that they began to notice. They seemed to be quite pleased that my skin was getting lighter, I was happy because they always complimented me on my colour, although looking back, I probably looked ridiculous. When I went to college, I started to hang out with other black people and realised I didn’t need to look paler. I also grew out my straightened hair and grew dreads instead.”
Some people think that users of skin lightener only have themselves to blame when things go wrong, because they don’t have a sense of their own identity and are too quick to accept a Westernised look. Women of African Caribbean origin who do something as simple as straightening their hair are especially singled out for criticism. “Many black people still have the slave mentality, you know, we’re the underdog and always will be,” says Jen, 24, an African Studies graduate. “Even during slavery, light- skinned slaves were always played off against the darker ones. Look at all the black stars who have had plastic surgery on their noses and lips to make themselves look more acceptable and won’t even own up to it.”
Sarah adds: “It also doesn’t help that loads of black men are going out with white women. It says to us, you’re no use because you’re black. I know that’s not the only reason, but that’s the message a lot of black women are getting.”
Whether people are prepared to admit it, an unofficial pecking order of lightness does exist. It’s not unknown for black people to ridicule someone darker than themselves. As Yvonne, a 35-year-old teacher, explains: “There are just so many negative connotations associated with being black. I know this is really silly, but even in the film Planet Of The Apes, the light-skinned apes are the cleverest and the blackest are the dumbest.If people feel they can alleviate a lot of the stereotypes of being black by lightening their skin, who am I to argue? After all, not all black people want to be freedom-fighters – they just want to live their lives in peace and keep themselves to themselves.”
Some women are prepared to go to great lengths for this ideal, if not for themselves, then for their children. Michelle, 29, explains: “I want an easy life like everyone else, and if it means people are less likely to judge me solely on the basis of my skin colour because it’s lighter, then that’s fine by me. I have got friends who have purposely got pregnant by white men, so their children are mixed-race, and hopefully have a better start in life, because they’re coffee-coloured. I’d never go that far.”
If racism is the underlying reason why black women want to lighten their skin, are attitudes noticeably changing? The answer seems to be an overwhelming no. “I’m sick and tired of white people telling me that people aren’t as racist as they used to be,” says Sarah. “In some ways, it is just as bad as when my parents first came over, it is just a lot more sophisticated. For example, how many models have you seen wearing their hair in it’s natural state? How many who are dark-skinned, besides Naomi Campbell, are very successful? They all look like coffee-coloured Barbie Dolls and it’s really depressing.” Even Naomi Campbell herself feels pressure sometimes – as she explained in an interview with the Daily Telegraph last week.
Although Diane, a 27-year-old solicitor, believes racism is a factor, she also thinks it’s self-confidence or lack of it which makes all the difference to individual women. “I’m very dark-skinned, but I have never allowed my skin colour to get in the way of anything. I’m not so obsessed with the way I look to be influenced by black or white people’s opinions of me based solely on skin colour.”
Not all black women can cope with the pressures of discrimination. It isn’t surprising that many believe they will make their lives easier by lightening their skin. When I discussed this article with some of my white friends, they were completely perplexed as to the reasons why anyone would do it. After all, I don’t myself. But women who use skin lightener aren’t concerned with the desire to be white. They are concerned with attempting to lessen the effects of racism and sexism in their lives. They use skin lightener to try to gain respect and to be treated as an equal.
[QUOTE}
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Another story printed in another the Guardian 2005 practically repeating the above. But at this point bleaching cream are meant to be illegal in the UK.
[QUOTE]
Young black and Asian women are using illegal and harmful skin bleaching creams in an effort to follow fashion.
As The Observer has discovered, Gina is not alone – thousands of black and Asian British women are using similar creams to make them whiter. While some contain steroids which thin the skin, others contain the poisonous chemical hydroquinone, banned in Britain in January 2001. Hydroquinone interferes with the skin’s pigmentation process and increases the risk of skin cancer.
Anybody caught selling creams containing hydroquinone can be fined £5,000 or jailed for up to six months…. The Observer has learnt that this summer alone customs officers made two massive seizures of illegal skin-bleaching creams at Gatwick airport involving hundreds of thousands of products. … when they inspected… were thousands of skin-bleaching products containing the illegal chemical hydroquinone…
The adverts have a clear and simple message: dark skin means failure; fair skin is beautiful and equates to success. These images are not a throwback to apartheid South Africa or the slavery era in the United States, they are the images now staring out of products on thousands of shelves across the UK, not just in beauty salons but grocery stores, newsagents, even record shops.
According to Sherry Dixon, editor of Pride – the lifestyle magazine for the British black community – the scale of the problem is alarming. She believes that in part it is propelled by the success of a new generation of black celebrities who have lighter skin, such as Beyoncé or Lil’ Kim. She said: ‘These creams are used by all ages and both sexes. It is a taboo subject. Nobody likes admitting they use the creams, but many do. They look to role models like Beyoncé and believe her success is because she is lighter skinned. This is a real problem and we need to tackle it from within.’
…..
[quote]
Those articles where printed quite a while back, I hope things are changing. I remember only a couple a months ago this year on TV, there was a really young dark skinned black girl (aged 6/7) with the longest and biggest, beautiful afro hair, the presenter asked the black girl “Who do you want to look like? She said Beyonce. The hairstylist then straighten her hair, and the girl was very happy.
I can imagin and have heard more young black girls of a primary aged (4 -11)saying they would like to be like the Obama girls, ending on a positive note.
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Stay tuned everyone for the author’s next great series anti-Semitic enlightened speeches.
Perhaps she will tell us that next that he holocaust of the transatlantic slave trade was to purge the Africans of their unrighteousness or the tragedy of Katrina occurred because the hedonism of the New Orleans peoples.
Perhaps in her next publication she will tell us that the TWIN Towers in NY fell because of the evil of New Yorkers. Or maybe she will just tell us that the genocide of Tutsi’s in Rwanda by the Hutu’s was G-d’s righteousness like Sodom and Gomorrah. Occam’s Razor (The simplest answer is usually the correct answer) denotes that the authors anti-Semitic writings amount to the ratings of an insane lunatic. BINGO!
Now perhaps you can form a logical opinion without bringing in your personal hatred for the Jewish peoples.
Perhaps you should not concern yourself as to what I do on my weekends and stop using this site as recruitment for the Junior Nazi League.
Perhaps after sponsoring your Hitler Youth League poetry festival this weekend you can write us all a memorandum on when you think the appropriate time to blog on this site since you seem to own the copyright to online blogging.
Now don’t get upset! Put down those long black Gestapo boots your probably shining right now and don’t go reaching for the luger gun on your hip. Take a long nice sip of the FUHRERS BEER YOU PROBABLY HAVE STASHED IN YOUR FRIDGE NEXT TO YOUR PSYCHIATRIC MEDS.
Oh wait now I got it. It is so simple like Occam said. YOU CAN’T MIX BEER WITH PSYCHE MEDS THEN GO ONLINE BLOGGING! BRILLIANT! So take your meds and pour the FUHRER’S BEER down the sink. Or you can try to sell it on EBAY and see if you can get some money together for psychiatric counseling you so badly need. I am sure after a few days of meds and shock therapy you will be fit for humanity again.
Oh and please stop burning candles in your homemade Hitler Shrine it is a fire hazard, the all-night chanting gets on your neighbors nerves, and I am sure you could spend the money for the candles and Nazi dolls elsewhere like an actual Hair Salon instead of Supercuts at WalMart.
Memo to the author was The Jackson Five Still Together when your hairstyle was in? Did Willie Nelson have all his original teeth when you hair style was in fashion? Was Elton John still straight when you hairstyle was still in? Things that make you say HMMMM………………
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Wow, my goodness!
ELLIOT my man, is it that serious? Bro. it’s just a blog and we can disagree without “going for the throat!”
There’s no doubt in my mind that you’re more than capable of holding your own, so lets attack THE POST and not THE PERSON!
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what
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Now Elliot this is no way to get your Black on Black crime statistics down. With all your ranting on White men and America being the source of your problems, poverty, drugs, social diseases and all those single mothers and your above the national average domestic violence statistics. White America is not out to get you because you people do a good enough job of it yourselves.
Have not read a White person attacking a Black person yet, let alone a female. Yet, we have to suffer through your diatribe on how White America causes you to act like this, I am sure you will rely on racism your standard standby.
I did not think you people liked the word genocide, why are you concern about Rwanda when your genocide continues right here in the USA and it is Black on Black, drugs dealing, drive, single mothers living in poverty unsupported by Black men who made them, gang violence, AIDS…And who is doing all that killing, stealing, baby making and beating own their women…Black men Keep up the good work
That death counts is in the millions, no wonder your women are running to anything other than Black Man…atleast they will survive and have a life with some respect and dignity.
But hell I take this hot chick; you can have the fat ones and the ones emailing me from Nigeria.
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After viewing Tyra’s show, I was stunned at the low self esteem her guests had. They have some serious issues to deal with.
What happened to ” SAY IT LOUD I’M BLACK AND PROUD” If those ladies wanted light skinned children they should have got with a WM.Not every super model is light skinned, Grace Jones was at the top of her game back in the day.
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Grace Jones in Bond , James Bond 007 with Priece Brosnon ” A View to a Kill “
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Blame only the one who commits the Crime / It was their choice .
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Enjoy /We do
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Whitteandproud,
I think released FBI records have in detail documented he explosion of drugs in America and how such drugs reached the inner city. However, I am quite unsure on sme statistics. Could you get me soe information on how many African Americans owned planes or pilot licenses in the 1960-1990? Also can you find me some information of how many African Americans owned boats capable of travelingacross the sea to deliver such illegal drugs?
Here are the facts. Drugs much like slavery was perpetrated upon all peoples by all races. African Americans sold drugs purchased from other races in African American inner cities. Now the top drug is methane enpehetamies. This drug capitol usage point oddly enough is in the midwest. Meth is tearing apart predominately European Amrican in tha region of he United States much the same way crack devestated the inner cities up to the early 2000′s. My heart goes out to all of those poor famlies in those regions affected by the infestation of MEth who communiies are being overun by scum of the earth drug dealers who oftentimes sell Meth the pregnant women. Drugs are a scourge upon society that no matter what race if affected by them.
The overall drug sells of crack in African American communities has all but bottomed up due to the inevitable dieing off of crack addicts (The market for crack in the inner city is determined by the supply of crack heads, because the dead crack heads are not being replaced by new ones in the inner city demand is down causing crack to have a downturn and drug dealers to find other markets or professions)Man I love Economics!.
Education and the unfovorable associations younger generations of inner city dwellers have with crack heads have made it quite difficult for African Americans drug dealers to profit in their illegal death of drug addicts. The market dried up.
History does teach us from ancient Egypt, the census records of Carthage before it’s saking by Rome, Roman census Records, or we can observe the records of Early Western cities like dodge or we can observe the Early historical records of NYC. Where their is a poor low income population poverty, drugs, social disease single motherhood, are directly associated with such communities. From brothels to illicit drugs such areas have always been inhabited by criminal activity.
The problem you are having in analyzing the data is that you might look at a black gang banger kid 15 years old and never stop to think “was his father in the gang, is his mother in the gang and are several generations of his family in he same gang he belongs to”. Oftentimes, European American Supremacist in the KKK or Nazi groups are born into thoese orginaztions and have deep family ties to them which strech back generations. The same rules applies to inner city gangs. However you like many only see the evil African American child an never stop to analyze the historical data as to why the child is in the gang. The historical overtones i write are meant to lay a foundation as to the “why things are presently this way”. Whereas, your disposition would alow you to beleive that African Americans pop out the womb with an AK-47 wanting to gang bang and sell drugs, or African American women pop out the womb wanting to be single mothers ect. . .
Groups who have been socially or economically oppressed over a long period of time are often oppressed fro different reasons. Historically religion, ethnicity (race), creed, poltical membership, gender and sexuality. In the case of African Americans the particulars of the African American oppression is focuses on ethnicity (Race). Therefore, it would be foolish not to lay a historical context as to why Africanms Americans have no closed the gap wih other races in American and not include racism. Being that my father could not vote, was forced to attend segregated schools and job opportunities to his geneation were only menial labor service industry jobs.
Herein lies the building blocks of hopelessness and despair in a community in which poverty breeds longside to contempt for a economic system which locked African Americans out beause they were born. Your lack of insight fails to let you see that America is technically 40 years removed from National Jim Crow Slavery with the 1969 Civil Right Act being signed. 40 years is not a long time historically analyze a peoples pogression from slavery to closing a gap with those who enslaved them. It is only 1-2 generations in many instances.
Now in closing we can look to NYC and the discrimination upon Irish Americans who were oftentimes locked out of decent jobs and relegated to low income communities. In these Irish ghettos their was ofen crime sngle others, brothels, opium or morphine dens, and plently and bars to drink and illegally gamble. British Americans who discriminated upon the Irish oftentimes visited these ghettos of to indulge in the forbidden pleasures. Illegitimate or fatherless children were oftentimes present in these communities. No different than in the African American communities.
Your issue is Sir that you are not educated well on the history of European American people in America because if you were then you would realize that European Americans endured the same adaptation problems once comming out of oppression the African Americans are experiencing now since receiving civil rights and comming out of oppression in America. Their were gangs (The Gangs Of New York in 1860 New York with immigration), their was Brothels in ever inner city all over the country (Especially in Bible belt Lousianna, NYC, and the Wild West) their was murders and killings rapes, and beatings of women. All hese things occurred in this impoverished enviorment as it also occurred in major cities by European Americans against Eurpean Americans in Early America. This being said sir it took many years (hundreds) for the British Americans to grant equality to to Irish, Scotish, Italians, Russians, Polish, Duth and many other European American Ethnic group and those ethnic groups to close the gap socially and economically.
Therefore, if African Americans have only really been granted equality for 40 years are African Americans not deserving of at least a fraction of the time to close the gap.
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Thank you Eloit For the last paragraph/ Kinda tells about the start of something Good
Criminals are only Criminals because they break mans’ Laws
We on the other hand went to town on Friday and saw no crimes beginning committed on the streets
I guess we live in a different world / Yet always the same world as there really is only one .
Try to live for today / when I rolled over in bed and saw the dark and the light bodies beside each other .
Beauty in Our own bed / The rest is None of your Business
P.S. Grace Jones played ” Mayday ” and her Bond was Roger Moore / we watched that last evening .
As always ; You seen one Bond flick / You have seen them all , Hehe
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Elliot you are retarded. “we did not fly the plane” has not been a viable defense for your homeboys on Cell Block A. You are more pathetic than I first assumed. Furthermore dumbass those planes carrying drugs into this country did not come from Europe. They are coming from Latino and Middle Eastern countries. Not White People. Which only proves your are an uneducated racist prick.
I guess with your thinking that 94% Black on Black crime rate is the fault of the gun makers and dealers? Not any fault of the person that decided to take another person life….retarded. They also via airplane fly in deadly diseases so they can be researched and I guess you should run out and hi-jack that as well… Your AIDS rates are higher than any other group? Why the Black male penis and his stints in the prison. Since 54% of the cases our sexually transmitted via homosexual sex, which you people call on the down low. Domestic Violence Black Women have the highest rates than any other group and who’s responsible, once again The black male penis.
Yet you want to come on here and blame White men for it, because once again you cannot take responsibility for your own actions and apparently self-discipline is not a concept you know anything about. You are useless and ineffective and a drain on America. Since we “bad white people” have to pick up the tab for all those babies you Black men make and the government has to support, pick up the tab for building new prisons for the death and destruction Black males causes, pick up the tab for your obesity, no health insurance and Aids related issues etc….
You prefer to blame that on something that happened over 300 years old and how you never gotten over it, even though your dumbass wasn’t even born 300 years ago and the majority of the White people in America today, either wasn’t here during that time or never owned any slaves. So apparently, you are not going to live long enough to take responsibility for your own actions or tell your men to be men…I doubt your are remembering your dead ancestors since Black Males have kept up a steady stream of death and destruction with their living ancestors.
Yet you come on this site to tell White men how they are the cause of your lack of manhood. If I could, I would give losers like you reparations with the condition that you leave this country and start life anew in your own homeland. Maybe we could get some of those African-Americans who owed slaves in America to help pay reparations. It would be less expensive in the long/short run, we could empty our prisons, and you could take your AIDS patients and obese ones with you. Taxpayers would see less of a tax burden in no time.
Oh that is right; Africans do not like African-Americans neither do the Blacks in the Caribbean. They must know something that White America doesn’t; although quite a few of us do we just cannot say it because it hurts Black men feeling. Boo-hoo cry me river!!
I know “good white people” are suppose to let you rant and rave and take blame for everything that you have done to yourselves. But I am not one of them, you are a whining loser and an idiot savant. And any women that would consider you an option is a fool and a loser just like you. Obviously, you want a woman that you can guilt to take care of you since you are victim of something that happened over 300 years ago.
I am Irish/Jew (pick a side) and my ancestors came from a history of slavery and atrocities much like most races and ethnic groups at one time in history and you don’t hear us or the many others whining and complaining about something that happened 100’s of years ago, so get over it or split a wrist already.
Oh and Dumbass, the book of Exodus Unlike the Black Males in America, Jews did realized it was their own disobedient that kept them in the wilderness, I guess that is probably why you did not get it. You appear to become violent with the concept of self-discipline and accountability. Big Surprise There! So, do not speak for Jews we have an aversion to dumbasses and losers. Since we came to this country with the same status as Black people and we made it without the need for government assistance or hand holding. Because we stick together and help one another a concept that you will never understand. And we certainly did not / do not violate our women so they would have no choice but to run to the government (You know White Men) for help. As so many of you do, nor do we criminalize and terrorized our own for a penny or two. As so many of you do.
The only sire babies in the Black community is Black male….
So STFU
Takintall- I am not going to argue with you since I want you to conserve your oxygen levels. However, I have plenty of Black friends and bi-racial children, neither of them are any versions of the N words that you seem to be happy posting on a interracial dating, while people are trying to get along not relieve tragedy or offend others, your self-proclaim education and intelligence obviously means nothing. George Bush was ivy leagued educated and comes from an elitist background and he was a vulgar dumbass with no class.
Miri-I run my own company and I did not rely on self-pity of being part Irish which was brought to this country as indenture servants or being part Jewish with 1000’s of years of history of slavery, genocides, expulsions etc..The only bile that was written was the racial slurs started by Black people and the generalizations of lumping every white person responsible for something that happened well over 300 years ago by Black people. So you do not get to tell me that I cannot respond. I find it amazing that you people often can see what you perceive as racism in Whites and others but never yourselves. I did not come to this site to relive anyone’s history or to be blamed for it. I came for a human being to human being experience. I would like to see all the racists White and Black locked into a room and let them kill each other off. We would be better off without them. But if you are going to object to my post then perhaps you should object to the people that starts these racial debates. Certainly not any of the white people on this site so far.
I have bi-racial children and the only people who give them a hard time is other Black People, specifically African-Americans. Self-hatred, envy, jealousy and a crab-mentality is rampant within African-Americans. Africans and Carr beans people stick together and they make it and they do not critique my children on the color of there skin. Nor do they complain about White people or America. African-Americans however, attack them as well. Perhaps African-American problems our solely their own.
My ex-wife is West Indian and she made it from humble beginnings all the way through medical school and she never complained or blamed racism with her struggles through life. Nor did any West Indian criticize or ostracize our children for being bi-racial, nor did any of my family Irish or Jewish side. And my ex-wife parents worked many a jobs to make sure each and everyone of their children was college educated and successful. Just like my parents did for my siblings and I.
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Elliot, I believe you are a crackhead..
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Wow. There is certainly a lot of opinion in this string.
Personally,I thought this was a site about love.
I happen to be wonderfully attracted to black women. For many reasons. And beautiful skin tones is but one of those. The love of my life – who I lost to cancer nearly 10 years ago – always felt she was too dark. I don’t get it. I simply just don’t get this. For me, she was and always will be absolutely beautiful.
Love does not know color. Or shade. Or hue. Period.
MichaelMN
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whitendprd:
First off I never said I was content with being called anything. Again re read my post and you will see I was merely responding to Nandi’s statement that no one uses the word Negro anymore. You really need to get over yourself. All you are doing is attacking other people here and bringing your negative energy in. Thanks for being considerate of my oxygen levels as you are not worth me or anyone wasting their breath on. Again read a post completely before responding! You really should seek some professional help for your issues with black people. White people commit crimes just as well if not worse than blacks in some cases. Think about how many black serial killers you know or black killers who eat people? None!
No Player
You’re right we should focus on the topic at hand and not attack the person. I see no difference in Elliots post than Whiteandprd. Whiteandprd attacked several people here when no one even said anything to him. The only difference is Elliot was defending himself when he felt he was being attacked. I’m not Jewish, but I could see how he would have been offended. And she continued to attack his character by accusing him of stalking her. Nevertheless, people shouldn’t cast stones they are not ready to get thrown back. I’m not saying either of them are right. However, women can not hit a man and not expect him to get tired and get her off of him.
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MichaelMN ; We are Female and Male / Who met on this site over two years ago .
Happy now to Enjoy other lives Together .
Love / is a Feeling between two people .
History is what was , Life is what shall be .
Yesterday , Today was Tommorrow , so Enjoy Everyone .
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whiteandproud – first off who are you to tell anybody to “Go Back To Africa” or anywhere for that matter. Did Euro/Am have their origin in America?
You’re ignorant as hell!
Some of the negative things you stated about BM do not appy to all BM, so this proves your twisted view of reality, you can’t lump all BLKs together no more than I can lump all WHTs together.
You said Africans and Blks from the Caribbean don’t like Afro/Am, maybe some don’t but can you speak for those that don’t feel that way?
You speak of the unity that other BLKs have that we don’t, you have to consider THEY’VE had a cultural continuity from day one and they’ve indentified with eachother as a collective group.
It wasn’t until the 60′s that Afro/Am began to indentify with eachother as a nation of people, so how could they have the unity to work together and uphold eachother as others have done?
In the 60′s when we started coming together as a people it scared the hell out of WHT/AM and wicked people in high places began killing and locking up BLK leaders that was pushing a nationalistic agenda.
It was the fear that BLKs would turn on America that caused this, not knowing we just wanted the same rights that everyone else enjoyed, we had no sinister motive to payback WHTs for the evil that some(not all)reaped upon us.
The one thing that would help solves some of our problems, is the one thing that many WHTs and a too many silly BLKs is scared of and that’s the reconnecting with our history and our culture, as varried as these cultures may be.
The conditions that exist or a result of the disconnect with our past and our culture, some of us are so ashamed of our past that we don’t want no parts of it, so we live in a time vaccum.
Many WHTs are sacared that we may become angry of past injustices and so many attemp get BLKs not to revisit the past for the sake of learning, so you say things like, ” why do you need a BLK history month”, ” forget about the past and look towards the future”!
You don’t tell that to Jews, you don’t tell that to Armenians or any WHTs people that have suffered at the hands of other WHTs but when it comes to BLKs you want us to forget this chapter in our story.
The jewels are in the dirt of our history, not only what we suffered during slavery but how we survived and pressed on, with flaws and all.
The strength, courage, tenacity, the ability to hold on to faith, not give up hope and give into dispair, these are the jewels contained in our past and because some of us have lost or turned our backs on this rich legacy we’re grifting at sea on a boat with a sail or a rudder.
You act as if BLKs have a monopoly on the BLAME GAME, please! Have you heard and looked at some of your own people lately.
A non wht person or a wht female can’t even get promoted from mopping floors to serving french fries at Wendy’s without people LIKE YOU screaming bloody murder.
You whine about people “crying and not trying” but as soon as they work hard and make things happen for themselves people LIKE YOU start to bitching.
I’ll tell you what, if they pay me reparations I’ll buy as many plain tickets as I can for as many disgruntled and bitter WHT guys such as YOURSELF to go back to Europe but I’m sure Europeans wouldn’t want your sorry asses here, they have enough cry babies in their on countries!
Get a life and maybe you’ll get a girlfriend, you looser!
Show your face you coward!
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People have their own perception no matter how twisted it is. I am a light-skinned woman ( the lightest in my family) & no one has given me a damn thing. I am a single parent, I work hard & being light-skinned hasn’t afforded me any advantages. I love being who I am. My Kids are darker than I am & they are beautiful. This perception of light-skin/dark-skin has gone too far. We should be focusing on how to make this government, economy, level of education & quality of life better for ourselves & our children’s futures.
Stop letting yourself esteem beat you down & don’t bring your kids into your dementia. Stop making excuses for why you are not where you want to be. Damn it, it’s hard enough being black no matter what the skin tone is.
There are many shades of black and they are all beautiful. You are beautiful, we are beautiful. Tell your children that they are beautiful everyday, boys and girls.
I’m off my soapbox.
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Whiteandprd
Perhaps your childrens issues are not other African Americans, but in fact it’s you. If you believe in half of the things you have written in this blog, I could only imagine what you have said to your children. Perhaps your issues with Black men is penis envy which is why you feel they should all “go back to Africa” and leave the “hot black women” as that is the only way you stand a chance with a “hot black woman” if they have no other men to choose from. I applaud your childrens mother, she came to a foreign land, hooked up with a genius like you, probably got citizenship after she had the kids, went through med school and left you once she got to where she needed to be as she no longer needed you. Did she leave you for a strong or educated black man, is this why you have issues with No Player and Elliot? or did she realize she wanted curves and developed fuller breasts and bottom which is why you have issues with me? Or are you just one of those people who just wants to get a response from someone, since nobody wants to be around you; so you resort to taking shots at people online and hiding your face from the world? Be a man if you believe strongly about what you write, be white and proud (as you name states) and show yourself!
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Here is a live example of the type of message that’s put out there to women of color – it is the type of message which could definitely promote insecurity and even possibly prompt the type of behavior depicted in the video above. Check it out for yourself – sad, but true:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3ZxrXiSY3Y&feature=related
MichaelMN – thank you for reminding us that this place is supposed to be about finding something beautiful. I think you are truly blessed to have experienced that once; I sincerely hope you do again.
whiteanproud – I’m usually quite adept at sidestepping what I consider to be the race politics melee strewn liberally throughout these blogs at will, as I consider that entire discussion stream to be divisive, polarizing, and out of place here. And, I do accept your rebuttal of singling you out as you are definitely not the only offender (rather, you apparently felt the need to submit a defense after feeling attacked). Some of your latest post has added more depth to your sentiments (at least from my perspective); Therefore, I think that this warrants a serious response on my part (as in not flippant and off the cuff). However, I will take my time with my response, as I intend to choose my words carefully in an attempt to convey what I truly wish to communicate (I do not wish to talk ‘at’ you, I wish to talk ‘with’ you).
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1. As far as being called a “Negroe” it’s funny because I hear it quite frequently. Which is ironic as I live in California; and one would think you would here it more in the South. The word Negroe has many forms that it is used today such as Nigga, Nigg, Negroid, Negra, Negro. True story, when I was learning spanish and someone said to me “el chico negro pequeno”, I thought they were being disrespectful. But once I learned the translation was “the little black boy” I was ok.
whitendprd:
First off I never said I was content with being called anything. Again re read my post and you will see I was merely responding to Nandi’s statement that no one uses the word Negro anymore.
I read it right the first time. Why lie? Are you that pathological that you think your previous post is some how forgotten and No you did not state that is it heard more in the California more so than in the South.
I amazed at the level of your ignorance and the fact that you lie with such ease and then respond with snide uneducated responses using the passive aggressive elementary school tactic. You clearly stated you hear these words frequently and that you are okay with being called a little black boy. Why lie? So you are a sociopath as I thought, I hope this imaginary White man you are dating from this site (something else you stated) is reading this blog, so he to can see what type of lying sociopath racist he is dating. But then again you lie so easily, whose to say what is real or imaginary in your mind. I think you are one of those lonely fat chicks who cruises dating sites for the fantasy and well at least that is some human contact.
I was merely stating that those terms are NOT okay or frequently used nor are they appropriate in posting because it offense others who do not have the guts to tell you and obviously have no class to know better little black boy. That was the negative energy you brought onto this site. But of course even with your post you will deny it
Black penis envy? You mean the black penis that are siring all of these children or the black penis spreading epidemic AIDS rates in the black communities or the Black penis that have you cruising an interracial dating site?
You do not have curves and/or fullness you have rolls of fat and one doesn’t have to be 300lbs to have curves. I did not know my ex-wife needed a citizenship status nor do I need to concern myself with who she is intimate with but you sure seem to be concerned, perhaps you could go sniff her panties and report back to me. Perhaps you will get inspired to know what a real woman look likes.
But she does spend her days trying to get fatties to let go of that deep fried crap and extend their paltry lives. Clearly you have no respect for others and the intend of this website, yet you continue to rant and race bait and feel no one should say anything back.
NoPlayer-This comes from a man who took down his picture only to tell me to show my face and then what? You people will resort to violence? Why take down your picture and of course you are a married man looking for pen pal and friendship on a dating site and I am loser? I did not know married people look for friendships on a dating site, what a prize of a husband you must be. If you do not like my generalizations and stereotypes perhaps you should stop using them yourself.
1. In the 60’s when we started coming together as a people it scared the hell out of WHT/AM and wicked people in high places began killing and locking up BLK leaders that was pushing a nationalistic agenda.
So all White/AM was scared? I see you did not mention that many Whites and Jews during the 60’s who helped Black people on voting and civil rights. They also died right along with your people you seem to not mentioned that. Furthermore What Jews went through did not happen in the USA. Yes, we were discriminated against in this country, much like you but we stuck together and organized. We do not moan and complain all day like you people. Neither does the Irish who were indentured servants in this country or the Chinese who was brought over to build the railroad. Just you
Fact is you are angry and violent people but what is it to be afraid you only kill each other.
You do not have any origins here neither, but since you are doing all the complaining, you leave. Truth is you have no place to go to fat chance that even Liberia will accept you, neither will the Caribbean. I on the other hand have a couple places to go if I choice, you are the trapped rat dumbie.I was merely suggesting that you reconnect with your ancestors that sold you into slavery in the first place, since they don’t see the need to reach out to you.
And the only people who killed off your leaders were other Black people, like your Prophet Farrakhan and Malcolm. Don’t tell it was a conspiracy; everything with you people is a conspiracy. No, it was Blacks who ratted out your Black panthers and Black Nationals, it is Blacks who is killing other blacks on the streets everyday, and it is Blacks who are selling drugs, prostituting their own women and children. But I am sure you will find a way to tie that into White people picking on you. So why should “whites in high place conspire to kill you” since you do such a good job of doing yourselves and why should we concern ourselves with paltry cleaning jobs, when it is so much money in the prison and legal system. Monies generated for the need of more prisons for Black people who kills, manes, rapes other Blacks while blaming White people; for their lack of self-discipline and control. Atleast my generalizations are factual yours is just another conspiracy.
So you can lie and make up conspiracies all you want but if you do not like generalizations and stereotypes than do not apply them to other races/ethnic group. And if you do not want to get past and forgot the past, why embark on a future with a White person who obviously do not believe or wish to engage in racial conversations. You need to take this crap up with your former slavemasters, the companies they now run or the various KKK and supremacist groups, clearly none of the White people who joined this site subscribes to that…More than likely majority of Whites people in America today wasn’t even in this country during slavery nor did they own or profit from slavery. So what is your point on a interracial dating site only to undermine the intentions of this site?
Because if you people claim to be an educated and intelligent as you claim, you would realized this is not the format for this, of course I am sure you will lie through it again.
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Miri2008 I’ve seen that video and there’s some truth but we have to keep in mind that not all BM feel that way. On a large scale the media feeds the masses of BM their so-called image of beauty.
As a young man growing up there were light skinned girls in my school and where I lived but they were just like all the other girls.
It wasn’t until a few years later that all of a sudden there was this big deal being made about them being light skinned. It wasn’t until the media began placing so much emphasis on them being mixed that many BM began to equate them as the standard of beauty.
In the movies sucessful BM were paired with light skinnd women, most of the TV commercials and music videos featured light skinned or almost wht looking BLK women, so I’d find it hard not to believe that this image programming didn’t contribute to the mindset of many young BM.
This also effected BM because in the 80′s all the hype was about light skinned BM such as: El DeBarge, Mario Van Peables, and Al B. Sure.
The lighter your skin, the straighter or curlier your hair was the more attractive you were in the eyes of BW and this effected young BM.
Keep in mind rejection often begets rejection and many young BM when they found themselves exposed to WW for the first time as a result of school integration or going to college they began relationships for the first time WW.
I’m sure it had an effect on the young man BM that felt rejected because he didn’t look like Al B. Sure to all of a sudden have WW or HW attracted to him.
Many who didn’t want to be viewed as sell-outs for dating WW went for the closest thing to it and that was very light skinned BW or Latina women.
I make these points to to show how outside imagery and other people’s definitions of beauty when internalized by BLKs will have an effect on their perceptions of beauty and what’s desirable.
Those of us who had parents that could see the game being played and had a understanding of the history of skin color issues were able to inform us (their children) so we wouldn’t fall victim to this foolishness.
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Being born WM / Having married WW twice . Failing in marriage both times , these are still the Mothers of three of my Daughters and respected by me for being good people . Who said that I was always correct / Knot me can’t you see .
I married a Woman that I met on this site and she is All Woman to me . Luck will sometimes fall on me don’t you see .
BLK, BM , LW, BW and all other Capitalized letters are just a bunch of short ways to stereotype people .
A Date Ting site , with such Excuses for being set in our own ways with constant Dislike of others .
Grow up and stop and smell the Roses / No matter what color they are just as Fragrant .
People are all Individuals / To be held accountable for their own actions .
Blame all your problems on Me / cause I could care less. Alas you shall each pay in your own way for how you reacted to Stress Management . Thunder only happens when it’s Raining .
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When misunderstood by others / I still understand what I write .
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good grief…I have to wonder if some of those who post here are who they really say they are.
Miri, not only are you the most beautiful 108 year old woman (or 28 year old for that matter) I have ever seen..lol..but you said it perfectly on your profile with this quote:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails…” – I Corinthians 13:4-8
I understand pain and anger. Just not the pain and anger on this string of posts.
I also know love. And trumps everything.
Beauty is not what media thinks. It is in the eye of the beholder – YOU. Not anyone else.
Peace out.
Michael
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Michael, how incredibly sweet. Thank you.
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@ No Player
I responded to your post before your post to whiteandprd posted. I apologize for my haste judgement.
@ Whiteandprd
You are so special and ignorant it’s rediculous. It’s no wonder your ex left you. Maybe you struggle with reading comprehension. My post basically was to state the the word negroe has many forms and can be found as well in different languages. One may find it offensive (as I did, before I learned the literal translation), but it is still a term used today. Wait I just realized, why in the hell am I explaining this to you. You obviously have issues with yourself, and no matter how much I explain it you’re not going to get it. Thanks as usual for your interests in my physical attributes (I know you have a collage of me above your headboard that you kiss before going to bed), unfortunately insulting me will not bring your ex back, make you any larger (you know where) or make any difference to me as you still have not posted your pic. This is going to be my last post to you little man as I need to conserve my oxygen levels for people who are worth it and can debate intelligently with facts, which apparently you struggle with. Take care little man or woman (as this is what you are acting like).
@ only1kim
Great comments, people need to be happy with themselves and not concerned with what others think.
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whiteandproud – ok let’s assume that all of the negative things you say about BLACKS are true! Now here the millions dollar question?
What the hell is wrong with some(notice the key word SOME) of your own people? Do you not have cry babies, criminals of the worst kind, dope users, abusers of women, pediphiles and some of the worst mass murderers known in American history?
Man please, you talk as if ALL of your people are saints. LOL
If all BLACKS in America died today WHT/AM would still have the same problems tomorrow because all of the issues that BLKs and other eithnic groups face, WHT/AM has the same issues.
Man get over your anger and your hatred because it only destroys you and the ones you’re hating are going on about their business and living their lives.
To be truthful some of us laugh at you, we laugh because we’re moving on and living the “American Dream” while clowns like you are mad and bitter.
There’s hope for you, if not oh well, there’s suicide!
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@ takingitall – it’s all good! I agree, don’t waste no more of your time with this clown.
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Miri,
You are most deservedly welcome.
Thank you for the articulate and beautiful profile you posted.
Michael
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Fight Nice Children / Question in my mind ; What is the American Dream ?
Other than being Happy and Enjoying life with another .
Heck even Our cats and dogs play with each other , as friends .
Change comes from within Oneself , Grow up and Realize you will never Enjoy anothers JOURNEY IN LIFE . Try to Enjoy your own .
” Tear down that Wall , Mr. Gorbachof ” as said bye President Ronald Reagan years ago and the Wall fell with help of Intelligent People who saw Change for the Good of Mankind .
Gonna dye them old dingy A-shirts someday soon .
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Ditto to MichaelMN,
Our Media has had such a profound effect on our children, young teens, and even adult images for sooooo many years now, that maybe some people are just immune to the idea of looking beyond the surface and discovering real beauty and accepting their own natural appearances.
But you are right,..beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
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@ homesteader
Great quote and so very appropriate “Change comes from within Oneself , Grow up and Realize you will never Enjoy anothers JOURNEY IN LIFE . Try to Enjoy your own.” Thanks for sharing!
@ micheal
I was thinking the same thing. If the people who are posting here are who they really say in their posts. I find it interesting that Nandi stopped posting and Whiteandprd started with the exact same people who disagreed with Nandi. Wouldn’t it be funny if they are the same person? I hope not as that would be so childish.
@ everyone else
I apologize if I have offended any of you with my responses to Whiteandprd, it was not my intent. I like blogging with all of you and look forward to reading the responses that you all post. Most of you are very insightful and often are able to help me look at things from a different perspective.
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Wait did I miss the memo, why is everyone taking their pics down?
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The advertizing media is doing what they do, they’re trying to motivate you to buy a product!
I cant call it racism because one of the advantages of owning your own media outlet is you get to do things your way.
I cant speak for those in the media, only they know if their motives are sinister or not.
We cant control what they put out there for all to see but we can cantrol how we interpret and internalize these images.
I think balance is the key to everything in life, not giving into extremes but meeting somewhere in the middle.
My and many other families put in place measures to give that balance. It was no accident that when you went to the homes of people they had pictures of their family all over the place.
I know that with todays standards of decorating most people don’t do that anymore. Remember how you’d go to grandma’s house as a child and you’d look at the pictures and she’d ask, “child you know who that is?” and if you didn’t, she’d tell you the story behind the picture.
These stories would leave a lasting impression on your mind because these were your family members, they looked like you, you shared their blood, some of your cousins, aunts and uncles were named after these people, these pictures tied you to somebody other than yourself.
I’ll never forget when my grandfather pointed out a picture of my great x3 grandfather and how he told me this man was the first one in our family that could read and write.
As I looked at this picture of this old man with these thick lips and high cheek bones I saw other family members who looked just like him.
I used this example to show how a child’s self-image is shaped, first in the environment he or she grows up in and if they don’t see themselves linked to a rich family history and a continuity of moving forward, they’ll start to look outside of themselves for something to indentify with.
When you can link your physical features to people that have helped you get to where you are, it’s hard to not appreciate how you look.
When a child sees his or her thick lips, wide nose or some other physical feature and they can say with pride, “I got these lips from my great grandmama” and when they know the story behind that great women and all she sacrficed for her family, it would be hard to not adore what she gave you.
People who are not rooted in themselves are prone to have all kinds of self-image problems.
If the parents of these women had taught them better and giving them the proper affrimation and validation growing up, there’s a strong chance that they wouldn’t have these issues.
I’ll close on this, ” trees are rooted deep into the earth so they’ll be able to withstand the winds, the rain and storms of life. Sholud it be any different with PEOPLE?”
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“This is going to be my last post to you little man as I need to conserve my oxygen levels for people who are worth it and can debate intelli
gently with facts, which apparently you struggle with. Take care little man or woman (as this is what you are acting like).”
Takintall-You will post back because you are a pathetic pathological liar and more than likely suffering from manic depression. You do not have to explain anything to me because the point has already been made about you. You people always go back to the victim’s mentality role especially when you have been exposed. I feel for your children, you are some kind of parent when you really should be a poster child for birth control. I can only imagine the values that you instill in them. I can understand how sexual identity can be an issue for you but if you lose some weight you might find your own sexual identity. It’s there under rolls of fat and disregards of your own body. The only thing I see when I look at your picture is that if your head was a hog, I could feed a small starving African nation. You should seek professional help and stop using this website to vent your own issues and live out your own pathetic fantasy. Your issues our your own not White people. Perhaps if you wasn’t okay with being called a “black little boy” or the N word, you wouldn’t live out its offensive definitions. I think you are the only one that is sexually confused.
NoPlayer-What the hell is wrong with some(notice the key word SOME) of your own people? Do you not have cry babies, criminals of the worst kind, dope users, abusers of women, pediphiles and some of the worst mass murderers known in American history?
Unlike you I do not speak for all White people and unlike you I do not make generalize and sweeping statements about White people like you. And I being an educated man with common sense, I pretty sure that people are people no matter what race/ethnic so it is good and bad in both. No, I could not tell you what makes Aryans tick and want to kill, since their mantra besides hatred of Blacks also extends to Jews and Catholics. So why don’t you go ask them? Since I am Irish/Jew. Your above posts only prove how ignorant and low brow you really are? Which people of mines would you be referring too? I am pretty sure all White people are not related to each other. So what is your point?. You do know that Europe is a continent not a single country. I am pretty positive that people in France speaks French, people in Russia speaks Russian and Britain speaks British English and they are all different countries, with their own language and cultures that is unique to them and I am positive they do not speak for each other or represent each other base solely on the color of their skin.
“Man get over your anger and your hatred because it only destroys you and the ones you’re hating are going on about their business and living their lives.”
You people sure know how to work that victim mentality pretty fast, just the other day you and your sidekicks went from Slavery, the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s to White Americans plotting to kill your leaders, now today you are telling me to “get over it” and move on with my life. Typical no responsibility for your own actions and words and of course it is someone else’s fault. Are you sure they are laughing or shaking their heads at your posts. This is an interracial dating site for people who have moved on and they only people injecting racism and history over 300 years ago is you, and those two other jackasses. You subjected the racial slurs; the conspiracies all directed at White America, now you have reverted back to you are a victim of centuries of racism which is why you feel that way you do. Fair enough, so why don’t you take it someplace else and not disrupt the people who have moved on.
“To be truthful some of us laugh at you, we laugh because we’re moving on and living the “American Dream” while clowns like you are mad and bitter”
1. In the 60’s when we started coming together as a people it scared the hell out of WHT/AM and wicked people in high places began killing and locking up BLK leaders that was pushing a nationalistic agenda.
2. You don’t tell that to Jews, you don’t tell that to Armenians or any WHTs people that have suffered at the hands of other WHTs but when it comes to BLKs you want us to forget this chapter in our story.
3. A non wht person or a wht female can’t even get promoted from mopping floors to serving french fries at Wendy’s without people LIKE YOU screaming bloody murder.
You whine about people “crying and not trying” but as soon as they work hard and make things happen for themselves people LIKE YOU start to bitching.
Yeah, sound like a progressive mind that is moving on. You don’t have to forget but you cannot lump all White people and make them responsible for atrocities of the past. It is people like you, Elliot and takintall who only reinforces racism and bigotry and further alienate cross-cultural relationships. Something this site is not about. You might want to seek professional help as well; you appear to be a bit paranoid.
You might want to do something about that victim’s mentality because I doubt anyone no matter the color wants to spend their lives slinging mops or working Wendy’s, I am also sorry you have low expectations for yourself but I would surely give you that position or anyone else that wants it.
The only thing that is clownish is you, a married man on a dating website giving everyone else opinions. If you were so happy and content and moving on. Why are you here? You could be someplace establishing relationships with your own, start your own website on the plight of Black Americans, get involved in stopping the Black on Black crime, drugs, be a father figure and mentor to the 1000’s of black children who do not have one, educate black men, women and teens on the epidemic AIDS rates. Yet you do nothing but come on this site and rant and rave about Whites people. That’s a true coward and it only means you really do not care one way or another about “Black people”, you just want to vent to others who have nothing to with your plight 300 years ago and they certainly do not have anything to do with what is going on in your Black communities today. You want to use racism as a crutch through life so you can never be held accountable for your actions or inactions. A true coward! Surely, you will be held accountable one way or another. I am sure that went over your low brow head.
White people and other people no matter what the color of skin already knows that crying of spilled milk will not replace the milk that is now gone. So rising above it, working through it is best and the most productive.
I do not want you to go into cardiac arrest with the concept of self-discipline and accountability of your own actions is the best way to go. I guess this is part where you revert back to being victims of your own actions but if you can tie it in to racism that it’s okay to be ineffective and nonproductive, because the mere thought of being responsible is a concept foreign to Black American men, (note I did not say all Black men) because that is not true foreign born Blacks (African/Carribeans) do not have the rate of teen pregnancy, diseases, lack of accountability as fathers as African-Americans, so surely you cannot lump them into your Black mantra, no it is just you.
We have a Black president and he surely did not get elected by Black people alone and yet you still whine and complain and blame White people for your lack of man/womanhood. The mere fact that we have elected a Black President should be reason and fair enough for you not to make generalized statements and stereotypes about all White people. Obviously President Obama successful election proves we have moved on and of course racism will never go away but White people are not the only ones responsible for it, you certainly have proven that.
By the way, during your Black history month do you say a prayer for all the White people who died for your freedoms? After all, it was White people from the beginning of slavery who fought and died to end slavery, sorry Harriet Tubman was assisted by White people in building the underground railroads, not to mention those Quakers and not to mention there is not a Black person signature of the emancipation of Black people, nor is it a Black person signature on the civil rights bill and let’s not forgot the American Indians who hid runaway slaves and had their land taken from them because of their assistance in helping Blacks and they were killed as well.
Since African-Americans are definitely is a better economic status than American-Indians, wouldn’t the decent thing to do (you might want to look up decency) is to buy their land back and give it to them. And I do not hear any of their ancestors White people/ American Indians demanding that you acknowledge their sacrifice and I certainly do not hear you acknowledging their help and lost. All you do is whine and cry like little babies…me, me, me Look what happened to me. So perhaps if you are so concerned with racial injustice and bigotry you can start with yourself, perhaps it is time for African-Americans to reach out to others, because definitely you are part of the problem and not the solution.
And according to you anyone that objects to your racist, stereotyping views must be angry and bitter, I say it is your own victim’s mentality that accuses others of what you really are, which is evident in every one of your posts. A man takes responsibility for his own action and inactions and doesn’t fork the blame on anyone else. No matter how much crying and whining you do, sorry I cannot make you a man.
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PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE..
I’m a ‘math’ guy, not a ‘reading’ guy.
I went to Barnes and Noble looking for the Cliff Notes to this blog…
someone help me please!
Can you at least make your long-winded posts rhyme like Cat in The Hat or Green Eggs and Ham. If you do that, I might be able to reply.
Otherwise as simple-minded as I am, I end up chasing the housefly and counting the chipped paint spots on my walls. I hate being ADHD w/o meds!
Back to the blog… DAYUMMM dat momma a crazy-azz foo’. But then again I shouldn’t comment since my lil ‘brown children (courtesy of George Bush late 80s referring to his grandkids) call me Casper.
If you got this far in this post, you as crazy as the momma!
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@ whiteand proud – Thanks for the advice and have a nice day!
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stupid,stupid,stupid just stupid love yourself as god gave us our own unique looks and lets focus on more serious things in the world
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takinitall ; Thank you ,
This site / was started to help others Enjoy Change , It worked for Us .
Yet so many still are Stagnated in the History Pool with Greed and Ignorance abundant at those times that are Before Us or Behind Us depending on how each Desires to interpret them in time .
Life shall always be / One Step at a time .
Live for Today as many have died to allow Us the Freedoms We Enjoy .
as per picture removal / the site management does this .
The pictures are still on my Profile , just knot on my comments .
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It would be really funny if it wasn’t so tragic.
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