Multicultural relationships and marriages is a topic that stirs heated debates as reflected in the numerous discussion threads on the Internet among Asian Americans. This is often a very touchy subject for both Asian American men and women.
Most Asian American multicultural marriages are those of a white husband married to an Asian wife. This combo makes up 14 percent of all mixed unions. Interestingly, in 75 percent of Asian-white marriages, the husband is white. No matter how different their personalities or backgrounds it seems like just about every Asian American woman I know is dating or married to a white guy. The good thing is that those who do, say they have nothing against their Asian men. It’s just that culturally they have embraced the American culture hence feeling very American.
“I have never dated an Asian guy, and will probably never date an Asian guy”, says Michelle Phi, a student at Texas A&M University. . . “I’m a very Americanized Asian girl who needs a very Americanized male “I fear the potential acquisition of another Asian family”. Another Vietnamese woman in her early 30s, says, “I think it is an issue of cultural assimilation. Overall, I have found Asian men too ‘Eastern’ in their thinking about women”. According to her many Asian American men still have rather traditional and patriarchal attitudes about Asian American women.
As much as am pro multicultural relationships, does this mean that Asian American men aren’t Americanized enough? Is this the reason that leads Asian American women away from Asian American men?Don’t you think that these women also seem to be caught up in the exact same stereotypes about Asian American men – stereotypes that most of the minority cultures in the US are trying so hard to fight?
Clearly, the Asian American woman seems to be categorically rejecting any Asian American man available based on their belief that because he’s Asian, then it’s like automatically he’s not as Americanized or culturally ‘liberated’ as them. Like Phi above, she has vowed never to date an Asian guy. Its like she is not even willing to give any one of them a chance!
This is America yeah… people have the right to believe whatever they want to and date whoever they want. But does that mean that we use that freedom to express generalizations and stereotypes against Asian American men? Aren’t they real Americans just like their female counterparts?
Although not all Asian American women have these stereotypical opinions, it’s a pity when such cultural stereotypes are perpetuated by members of their own community.