Asian American multicultural relationships
Multicultural relationships and marriages is a topic that stirs heated debates as reflected in the numerous discussion threads on the Internet among Asian Americans. This is often a very touchy subject for both Asian American men and women.
Most Asian American multicultural marriages are those of a white husband married to an Asian wife. This combo makes up 14 percent of all mixed unions. Interestingly, in 75 percent of Asian-white marriages, the husband is white. No matter how different their personalities or backgrounds it seems like just about every Asian American woman I know is dating or married to a white guy. The good thing is that those who do, say they have nothing against their Asian men. It’s just that culturally they have embraced the American culture hence feeling very American.
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"I have never dated an Asian guy, and will probably never date an Asian guy", says Michelle Phi, a student at Texas A&M University. . . "I’m a very Americanized Asian girl who needs a very Americanized male "I fear the potential acquisition of another Asian family". Another Vietnamese woman in her early 30s, says, "I think it is an issue of cultural assimilation. Overall, I have found Asian men too ‘Eastern’ in their thinking about women". According to her many Asian American men still have rather traditional and patriarchal attitudes about Asian American women.
As much as am pro multicultural relationships, does this mean that Asian American men aren’t Americanized enough? Is this the reason that leads Asian American women away from Asian American men?Don’t you think that these women also seem to be caught up in the exact same stereotypes about Asian American men – stereotypes that most of the minority cultures in the US are trying so hard to fight?
Clearly, the Asian American woman seems to be categorically rejecting any Asian American man available based on their belief that because he’s Asian, then it’s like automatically he’s not as Americanized or culturally 'liberated' as them. Like Phi above, she has vowed never to date an Asian guy. Its like she is not even willing to give any one of them a chance!
This is America yeah… people have the right to believe whatever they want to and date whoever they want. But does that mean that we use that freedom to express generalizations and stereotypes against Asian American men? Aren’t they real Americans just like their female counterparts?
Although not all Asian American women have these stereotypical opinions, it’s a pity when such cultural stereotypes are perpetuated by members of their own community.
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50 responses to "Asian American multicultural relationships"
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BlackBarry30 says:Posted: 27 Aug 12
I am a Black male dating a beautiful Asian woman, who happens to be a doctor, along with her father (in accordance with cultural tradition/ stereotype). I've traditionally preferentially dated black woman, because I love their strength of character, which seems to be fostered by weathering the challenges of being a woman, and being black, and I also love their physical beauty and vigor. As I've evolved, and dated Indian, Persian, African, Latino and White, I've observed that each experience has expanded my understanding and appreciation of the world, and it's cultural nuances in a way that I could not gain from engaging just one ethnicity. To date white, in my unintentionally prejudiced but innocuous opinion offers a limited perspective on life and culture. I love my white friends, but perhaps subliminally perceive dating Euro tantamount to choosing the bountiful clay, when digging a little deeper would afford you the opportunity to find a diamond, that's been forged under the pressure of time and clay. To relate to someone outside of your culture requires you to transcend the shallow ruminations of society on various cultures. Additionally it requires you to have grown outside of your comfort zone, which typically extends to the knowledge and understanding which you have passively absorbed (your culture). Dating cross-culturally takes a little more effort, but in the end, the extent to which it expands my mind, and my understanding of the world, it's well worth it. In the end, I love my woman not because she's Asian, although, this does intrigue me, but because I believe she's the most perfect woman I know.
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bluebird says:Posted: 04 Mar 11Marriages that do not cross a race barrier, but do have different ethnicities (i.e. white/Hispanic white) have a rate of divorce just a little higher than white/white marriages. Interracial marriages that have one white person and one person of another race mostly only show higher divorce rates when the white spouse is a female (i.e. white guy + other race girl don’t show particularly high divorce rates compared to same-race couples). Black husband/white wife marriages are twice as likely to divorce as white/white marriages, and Asian husband/white wife marriages are about 60% more likely to divorce as white/white marriages. Which, I suppose is an unfortunate statistic for Aditya and me (and one I didn’t expect at all)! White husband/black wife were nearly 50% less likely to divorce than white/white couples, and white husband/Asian wife couples had pretty much the same divorce rate as white/white couples Compared to Hispanic/Hispanic couples, Hispanic white/white couples showed a higher likelihood of divorce (not surprising). Likewise, Asian/white couples were more likely to divorce than Asian/Asian couples. However, black/white couples only show a higher rate of divorce compared to black/black couples if the white person in the relationship is a woman. The researchers were unable to evaluate other sorts of interracial marriages, such as black/Asian, because of the low number of such couples in the sample data.
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rpajela7 says:Posted: 11 Dec 10The problem that I have with interracial dating is that Asians are still classified as minority groups. We are only 4% of the population and other races have a higher percentage of visibility in relation to whites. As an adult, I always have felt that people have used this statistic against me where most people would rather date within their own races. The other fact is that we are not as spread out as say for instance African-Americans. We primarily live in hotspots around the country, like cities in California, New York, Hawaii, etc. 10 years ago, I had this idealism that I would date any woman and not be prejudiced no matter what race she is. 10 years later, I have not found a stable relationship and I've primarily dated filipino women. I'm not a womanizer. Those same women of my own race realized that I wasn't there dream man and I kept on noticing that they were all in the same profession (nursing). 10 years ago, I never knew this statistic and have always thought that caucasian people in general were at least 50% and that minority groups (Asians, Latinos, African-Americans) were at least the other half. I was wrong and I believe that growing up in New York City made me think that these statistics were nationwide. So this makes me feel like women tend to ignore me even when its not interracial. I guess my personality and body mass are also used against me.
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serenity33 says:Posted: 12 Oct 10I met a wonderful Korean/Japanese woman on another dating site and she is fantastic. A virgin and a good Christian and a brilliant mind and even though she isn't what everyone would call attractive since she is overweight and shorter than five feet by an inch but I still think she is beautiful to my eye. She teaches English to Muslim countries and is in danger a lot. I have yet to meet her which I should be able to do in July when she comes to meet me from Japan. Those of you that are religious pray that things go right. She is just like me in sexual beliefs too. She doesn't believe in anything more than kissing before marriage which is just what I am looking for. She is demanding though because she expects who she is with to read the Bible every day and then discuss with her what she read. But that is right up my ally when it comes to what I want a woman since I graduated from Seminary so I am glad she is fussy about men. I wish more women were that way and kept men in check!!:-)
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serenity33 says:Posted: 12 Oct 10
I agree with as far as Asian women. I haven’t met any nice black women on this site that aren’t filled with hostility and a chip on their shoulder. But that is just my experience. I was handsome like guys like Newawlunzguy, it might be a different story because he is a real catch.:-) But the only women to be civil on this website to me are Asian and white women. Problem is that as even Asian women become Westernized, they are giving up the traditional values of Asian cultures of honor and respect and taking up the corrupt value of Western looks consciousness and materialism and power seeking. You need to get some old school Asian females. One of the best women I ever dated was an old school Filipino. I wish we could ship some of the spoiled women of the United States to Muslim nations and let them taste what other women are suffering and then they would have no reason to bitch and moan about how hard they have it here and treat American men better in general. All the men on here have been great and very civil and logical and not hostile. You can still have a friendly debate with them without them getting all nasty and irrational and you can make up with them easier. So I think sexual differences are greater than cultural differences when it comes down to it. That is why I enjoy talking to men of all cultures because things always seem to work themselves out no matter what culture they are. And I have met in real life mostly cool Asian men. And I agree with you about the butch, raunchy, arrogance of women today in Westernized societies especially the USA. But I wouldn’t underestimate black, Latino or any woman that is too Westernized when it comes to liking dumbed-down stuff. I have seen many white women that are less susceptible than other ethnicitiies than non-white women to being corrupted by Western society, especially American women. But being around cool Asians does rub off as I have adopted honor and respect from Asian men and even Insa(Korean for bowing) to everyone I meet no matter what their race. It is just a part of me now. So if the media caters ever caters to old school Asian values, then the standard will be higher but they never will. The media and films are the worse corrupters of all with shows and commercials and movies only causing morality and relationships to spiral down hill. That’s why we have the highest divorce rate and single mother rate in the world because of bad morals and lack of respect for marriage and the importance of make the right decision in marriages and sticking with your decision and working it out. That’s what I asked an Indian couple that was old school and had an arranged marriage. They said they originally didn’t get along but if since they didn’t have the option of divorce in their society, they were forced to work out their issues and now they are really in love with each other truly and you can really see it when you are around them.:-) African American women though are worse than African women because I think it is the fault of the white man and slavery. Slaves weren’t allowed to marry and black men were used as studs and had many women so they didn’t have stable relationships staring when they were abducted from Africa in the first place. That legacy carries over to today as black women are used to getting pregnant at an early age and raising kids by themselves with the help of their single mothers while the black man was bread for his endurance and strength and athletic prowess and are also used to being raised by single mothers and often don’t have good black male role models like fathers to influence them like other cultures do. The trend is slowly reversing although much faster in black men than black women but it will take time for the healing to take place. I think the roots of the greedy corrupt corporations that try to indoctrinate everyone to be shallow for the sake of buying more merchandise need to be taken out. First we need to be aware of the indoctrination and realize that all of us are bombarded by it no matter what race or sex you are and then we can make a conscious decision to fight it and become morally and psychologically healthy again. I was involved in different studies when I was going for my psychology degree and one of them was consumer choices and influences. They found out that I was in the one percentile range and if everyone valued what I value, the consumer economy would collapse the way it is targeting people now because I think so differently than the average consumer.;-) Of course there were a lot of confounding variables with me such as awareness of indoctrination and a high moral set of standards and a highly developed conscious. And studies show that as more countries and cultures become like the USA, they suddenly start having trouble with eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia and looks consciousness. It has been found on tribes first exposed to Western United States culture for the first time. Fascinating study actually but sad. Also single motherhood went up and the family unit started to disintegrate and moral behavior went down and morality decayed. First the extended family started to fall apart as older people were seen as a burden rather than older wiser people to learn from(very American) and then the nuclear family fell apart as promiscuity increased and venereal diseases and other communicable disease like TB increased. But like I said, totally agree that we need a better influence to set a higher standard for us all before we end up like the Roman empire and collapse. And sorry for the bad grammar because I know you hate that but Psychology majors and counselors like myself are notorious for bad grammar and also being bad at math which is why when we conduct studies, we send out data to be crunched by statisticians rather than doing it ourselves and we just interpret the results.;-)
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serenity33 says:Posted: 09 Aug 10
I agree with as far as Asian women. I haven't met any nice black women on this site that aren't filled with hostility and a chip on their shoulder. But that is just my experience. I was handsome like guys like Newawlunzguy, it might be a different story because he is a real catch.:-) But the only women to be civil on this website to me are Asian and white women. Problem is that as even Asian women become Westernized, they are giving up the traditional values of Asian cultures of honor and respect and taking up the corrupt value of Western looks consciousness and materialism and power seeking. You need to get some old school Asian females. One of the best women I ever dated was an old school Filipino. I wish we could ship some of the spoiled women of the United States to Muslim nations and let them taste what other women are suffering and then they would have no reason to bitch and moan about how hard they have it here and treat American men better in general. All the men on here have been great and very civil and logical and not hostile. You can still have a friendly debate with them without them getting all nasty and irrational and you can make up with them easier. So I think sexual differences are greater than cultural differences when it comes down to it. That is why I enjoy talking to men of all cultures because things always seem to work themselves out no matter what culture they are. And I have met in real life mostly cool Asian men. And I agree with you about the butch, raunchy, arrogance of women today in Westernized societies especially the USA. But I wouldn't underestimate black, Latino or any woman that is too Westernized when it comes to liking dumbed-down stuff. I have seen many white women that are less susceptible than other ethnicitiies than non-white women to being corrupted by Western society, especially American women. But being around cool Asians does rub off as I have adopted honor and respect from Asian men and even Insa(Korean for bowing) to everyone I meet no matter what their race. It is just a part of me now. So if the media caters ever caters to old school Asian values, then the standard will be higher but they never will. The media and films are the worse corrupters of all with shows and commercials and movies only causing morality and relationships to spiral down hill. That's why we have the highest divorce rate and single mother rate in the world because of bad morals and lack of respect for marriage and the importance of make the right decision in marriages and sticking with your decision and working it out. That's what I asked an Indian couple that was old school and had an arranged marriage. They said they originally didn't get along but if since they didn't have the option of divorce in their society, they were forced to work out their issues and now they are really in love with each other truly and you can really see it when you are around them.:-) African American women though are worse than African women because I think it is the fault of the white man and slavery. Slaves weren't allowed to marry and black men were used as studs and had many women so they didn't have stable relationships staring when they were abducted from Africa in the first place. That legacy carries over to today as black women are used to getting pregnant at an early age and raising kids by themselves with the help of their single mothers while the black man was bread for his endurance and strength and athletic prowess and are also used to being raised by single mothers and often don't have good black male role models like fathers to influence them like other cultures do. The trend is slowly reversing although much faster in black men than black women but it will take time for the healing to take place. I think the roots of the greedy corrupt corporations that try to indoctrinate everyone to be shallow for the sake of buying more merchandise need to be taken out. First we need to be aware of the indoctrination and realize that all of us are bombarded by it no matter what race or sex you are and then we can make a conscious decision to fight it and become morally and psychologically healthy again. I was involved in different studies when I was going for my psychology degree and one of them was consumer choices and influences. They found out that I was in the one percentile range and if everyone valued what I value, the consumer economy would collapse the way it is targeting people now because I think so differently than the average consumer.;-) Of course there were a lot of confounding variables with me such as awareness of indoctrination and a high moral set of standards and a highly developed conscious. And studies show that as more countries and cultures become like the USA, they suddenly start having trouble with eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia and looks consciousness. It has been found on tribes first exposed to Western United States culture for the first time. Fascinating study actually but sad. Also single motherhood went up and the family unit started to disintegrate and moral behavior went down and morality decayed. First the extended family started to fall apart as older people were seen as a burden rather than older wiser people to learn from(very American) and then the nuclear family fell apart as promiscuity increased and venereal diseases and other communicable disease like TB increased. But like I said, totally agree that we need a better influence to set a higher standard for us all before we end up like the Roman empire and collapse. And sorry for the bad grammar because I know you hate that but Psychology majors and counselors like myself are notorious for bad grammar and also being bad at math which is why when we conduct studies, we send out data to be crunched by statisticians rather than doing it ourselves and we just interpret the results.;-) Joseph Evan Moyer
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Charlie says:Posted: 07 Aug 10
I've found that today, in the Western media, black males are often idolized, not demonized like you say. Films, TV series, and advertisements often refuse to portray blacks in negative roles, so those positions are often filled only by white males (to be politically correct). Most news networks now have a chief, black male anchor and universities across the US copy each other by appointing a black presidents. Not to mention that 1/4 of scholarships are for black students (with lower requirements). They are the only minority males to receive such attention. And if an interracial couple is portrayed, it's mostly going to be a black guy with a white girl, as if that's the only combination of interracial.. The same isn't true for Asian males, and less so for black women. I think the US media is based on what people think white women want (or at least find acceptable). That's why we're being suffocated by dumbed-down trash. Pop music is based on whatever gets the big, white asses shaking in the clubs. China, on the other hand, still uses intelligent poetry in their pop lyrics, not much to shake an ass to. We used to be like that, but now we've stepped into the Twilight Zone where bad is good and grammar is meaningless. Thank God for Asian women (Indian, Chinese, and Filipina in particular). There is a lot that they could teach Western women. That's one reason why I think Asian women are better mates than Hispanic women (whom could teach us all Spanish no doubt). It will great when the media starts to cater to Asian interests and sets a higher standard for women instead of this butch, raunchy, arrogance that we're seeing today.
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serenity33 says:Posted: 05 Aug 10
Nothing left to say on this one either because it has all been said. Bye. Joseph Evan Moyer
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serenity33 says:Posted: 03 Aug 10
Well hopefully that is the way it really is Jeff or at least should be. Sincerely, Joseph Evan Moyer
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studmuffin99 says:Posted: 03 Aug 10
Hey Dave, what's up? I don't know where that particular individual got the idea that you were referring to religious programming. You don't mention it all. It seems like she is twisting thing to continue her hatred of Joseph. Correct me Dave if I am wrong. It has nothing to do with Asian dating or this blog. I don't think religion discourages Asians dating anyone. I don't know a whole lot about Christianity but I know enough to know that. There are Asian American churches with Asians dating all types of people on a mail route that I substitute for on occasion for extra money. It is in Bakersfield CA and the neighborhood seems nice and quiet and I see Asian women with all different races. Of course that is just one town so I don't know if it is true in general. But it seems like religion holds them together. I am just not Christian because I don't see how a loving good can let such immoral stuff go on and immoral people prosper so I don't believe in him. But the couples seem happy and the Asians there don't seem to discriminate based on race. Just my two cents. Jeff
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serenity33 says:Posted: 03 Aug 10
I agree with you studmuffin, there should be no discrimination and that all men are individuals and should be treated as such. And I agree with the women referring to Asian men, they are just as attractive as any other race as a whole. I appreciate your comments for they show a lot of insight and maturity in them. Nice to hear the voice of reason.:-) Sincerely, Joseph Moyer
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studmuffin99 says:Posted: 02 Aug 10
I live out in Cali and the Asians in my town seem to stick to dating each other. But that is just Lancaster. I haven't been to LA much which I hear the big population is at. I would date a nice girl no matter what her race is.
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studmuffin99 says:Posted: 02 Aug 10
I think that there should be no discrimination and that all men are individuals and should be treated as such, not as a race. And I agree with interracial mixing and appreciate comment by Samuel on how it doesn't hurt to mix races. That was very informative.
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studmuffin99 says:Posted: 02 Aug 10
Again, this guy is being attacked for no reason and it has nothing to do with the blog. You two should get a room and slug it out and leave the blog to people who are seriously trying to learn about the topic.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 02 Aug 102 Dave....I totally understand where you are coming from.....the "programming" never ceases...and the "individuals" that aid the programming under the banner of "religion" (ANY RELGION) are even more insidious. Either that or SERIOUSLY MISGUIDED. Either way, IT NEEDS TO BE IGNORED!!!("IT" being the programming NOT the religion....in case the "over-educated" get confused again...lol). Peace PEOPLE
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studmuffin99 says:Posted: 02 Aug 10
Why are you giving this guy such a hard time? What did I miss? He seems harmless enough.
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Newawlunzguy says:Posted: 31 Jul 10
@Samuel - I read the garbage/nonsense published in “The health consequences of race mixing,” at MajorityRights. It's full of conjecture, speculation, non-controlled tests and is basically, pure rubbish. Apparently they failed to consider the DNA testing being performed by 2 independent study groups around the globe that clearly demonstrate ALL "races" are actually related and our current "physical" makeup (height, weight, skin tones, eye color, etc.) are the results of environmental and evolutionary forces.
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Member says:Posted: 30 Jul 10
So, to account for the high number of interracial couples being white male with Asian female, it is said that they want "American men?" Really? If this is so, then what about all the other races that make up men in America? Why can't people just speak the truth? Is it soooo hard to be honest? I can't say that I know everything, but when it comes to this matter I'd like to think that I can hit this nail on the head(I have a big hammer). I won't call it racism, each individual is allowed to their own preference. However, I think that Asian women don't give many men a chance unless they are white. I don't think that it has little to do with being with an "American guy" because that encompasses so many races. I have noticed that many Asian women in America do NOT give as much respect to other minority men as they do white men. They view white men as having a higher value than other men do. They will say they are more attractive, more respectful, more respectable, have bigger penis, more money, etc. All of which, are a bunch of lies. People should judge people on the fruits of their labor as men, not on the color of your skin. Asian women, shame on you! What goes around...comes around!
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Samuel says:Posted: 30 Jul 10
White men who marry Asian or Eurasian women obviously haven't read "The health consequences of race mixing," at MajorityRights.
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serenity33 says:Posted: 21 Jul 10
I have dated mostly Asian girls that have been pretty Americanized yet retain some of their culture. Unfortunately it was some of the bad parts of their culture of prestige and money that they held onto and with the incorporation of Westernization, they have included looks consciousness. They all ended badly but I still find myself primarily attracted to them. Why? Because of all the Asian families and Asian friends that I have had that had not abandoned the Asian concepts of honor, and respect, and integrity which caused me to admire the different Asian cultures in the first place. Those families especially made me part of their own family despite my lack of wealth, prestige, and looks. So it is hard to shake the positive association I have with Asian women even though I see the shallowness and evil in so many of them. I am between a rock and a hard place in that capacity because I am, through association, attracted to short legged, dark haired, wide-faced Asian females and that carries over to my preference in white females as well. I have gone against my culture and dislike tall, leggy, blondes, with narrow faces, that my own culture idolizes. And I have a preference for Koreans who are the most disdainful of all towards me. They tend to be the ones who are shorter legged and wide faced the most. I love their food, eating with chopsticks and I even Insa(bow) to everyone I meet even non-Asians(which look at me weird, because it is so ingrained in my nature now. This probably means that I will be alone the rest of my life since I am not getting any younger but it is a hard habit to break. If being crushed by being cheated on by five different Asian females and dumped hasn't changed my preferences, I don't think anything will. And I hear all these horror stories about how badly Asian men treat Asian women when I give them nothing but honor and respect and true love but the concept to them except some of the Asian families I have known, seems foreign. It is used and be used. Oh well. Those are the breaks and I had some deep and great times with the Asian families I was friends with. Jae Sun, a Korean father who spoke almost no English, understood me well and vice versa despite our language barrier and we were kindred spirits. He embodied all the best things of Asian and Korean cultures. I cried and he actually cried when he left to go to CA because we were so close, his family and I. And their daughter Yoo-jin was like a daughter to me and I was very protective of her. In retrospect, I probably could have dated her but I had too much respect for Jae Sun to violate his trust because of the age difference between Yoo-jin at I at the time. And Jae Sun and I are guys that never cry but I felt like I was losing a brother. It is a shame that all of us can't respect each other the way he and his family did me and vice-versa. I guess you have to take the good with the bad. Joseph Moyer
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Hani says:Posted: 16 Jun 10
I'm an Asian/Filipino female and I'm also an American female. I'm NOT Asian-American... the problem with most Asian-American females is they have this high standard of marrying into another non-Asian ethnicity, preferably of Caucasian/European background... it's a really shameful mentality influenced by the remnants of "Westernization" and colonialism/imperialism. I find that many Asian-American females nowadays reject their Asian identities, at least most of my Asian-American female friends anyway... it's a bit disappointing... I date anyone who's good for me and to me, regardless of their race.
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Dave says:Posted: 13 Jun 10
Oh and one more thing it took me 30+ years to realize, speaking to the asian males out there now, if you want that exotic white/black/hispanic woman, you have to work at it double time. Look at the tenacious conquer-all latin male stereotype, you have to be that. Talk about overcoming programming, coming from a culture that equates individuality, outspokeness and flashiness as basically being a defective product; that is basically the antithesis to how we were raised. I have seen asian males who may not be the best lookers (viets and filipinos esp) end up with scorchers with that attitude.
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Dave says:Posted: 13 Jun 10
Wow, reality by programming is a tough mother. I am a highly functioning asian male (doctor), and have had white, asian, black, hispanic women tell me they find me sexually attractive in no uncertain terms. Yet it almost seems that I have internalized the worst of the cynical mainstream media stereotype of asian males being subservient, feminine, unattractive. Often find myself paralyzed, and ashamed to reciprocate their attentions. I definitely think that there are big schisms in all the cultural cliques out there. It'd take a lifetime of anthropologic research to even begin to figure things out. At the risk of oversimplification, I think whites (in particular white women) and many asians (especially traditionally highly valued males) have particularly been inculcated to preserve racial purity by avoiding mixing. Centuries old sexual politics; not just western media, but confused confuciousnism/xenophobia etc. A lot of bad blood going back a long ways. How could you love that which you do not understand? Wish I could overcome that programming and bad blood.
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PetiteChick says:Posted: 12 May 10@Tom You can only hide the truth for so long – people are beginning to realize that Western media, especially as it pertains to Asian men, is extremely racist/distorted & is designed to help White males who are extremely insecure & extremely supremacist/territorial. -------------------------------------------- Let the Church say "Amen." I fully agree with you.
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Tom says:Posted: 07 May 10
This phenomenon is very simple:(1) White worship & self-loathing, and (2) Various Asian cultures are still ingrained with Confucian values which obsess over prestige, status, hierarchy, and brands. Look at how many Asians are obsessed with what college their kids get into, what car/clothing brands they buy, or starving for months to save up for overpriced handbags. It’s no surprise why the most avid consumers of Euro fashion products are actually Asians, not Europeans. Same goes for diamonds or gold, shiny symbols of status and prestige, the biggest consumers of overpriced jewelry are Asians. This directly plays into dating too, Asian people in Asia & America are brainwashed by media which globally is very Western/Caucasian-centric. In Asia the commercials, malls, ads, and movie theaters glorify Caucasian faces the vast majority of the time. It’s no surprise why eyelid and nose ridge surgery, to emulate Caucasian looks, are the #1 surgery in Asia. Think about how lucrative/effective the multi-billion dollar advertising industry is. Then think about how effective product placement is on TV or movies. Entertainment is just as effective in ‘branding’ various males, just like product placement. Western media repeatedly ‘brands’ White males as the best, while simultaneously marginalizing Asian males or giving them outright racist or demeaning roles. Asian women (and other women) internalize this about White & Asian men. Many prestige-obsessed Asian women thus see dating White males (even extremely low quality ones) as a weird status trophy. Some (like Michelle Malkin) go so far as to say self-racist things, or denigrate their own people, for approval from certain supremacist Whites. The Uncle Tom behavior is despicable. White worship, self-loathing, obsession for status/prestige, & media-brainwashing help explain why you see so many Asian women in Asia, and in America, with low quality White males who anyone can see on any city sidewalk represent the bottom of the barrel, a combination of fat/old/ugly/bald, or extremely weird/awkward White males who oftentimes simultaneously harbor closet racist views toward Asian cultures & Asian males, while also having extremely negative, bitter (and sexist) views toward White women. ----- Also, the sexist stereotype is so false. Asian cultures aren’t hindered by Christian/Jewish religions like White males are, which state that women were to blame in Genesis, that they are 2nd class should serve/obey men, and belong only in the kitchen. In 1950's America men controlled the money and only gave wives small allowances and limited opportunities. This is completely different from “traditional” Asian philosophies. In Confucian cultures women run the families, which includes control of all the money. This is why in East Asia the commercials, TV, & movies are so cutesy/pink/feminine – women are the dominant consumers in Asia, as opposed to America which is male-dominated and has media that caters to men with constant violence/sex/casual relationships. In major East Asian cities (like in China), the husbands do most of the cooking, house cleaning, & child rearing (think about dating supply and demand). East Asian women never change their maiden names in Asia after marriage, in America women need to change their names/identities after marriage. Kids in America generally need their father’s approval for who they marry, in Asia it’s the opposite. China has a higher % of women in politics, compared to the % of female US Congresswomen or US Senators. China has 7 female billionaires, which already make up half the world’s female billionaires, even though China is still poor and their economy is only 1/5 that of America. You can only hide the truth for so long – people are beginning to realize that Western media, especially as it pertains to Asian men, is extremely racist/distorted & is designed to help White males who are extremely insecure & extremely supremacist/territorial.
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Mary says:Posted: 29 Apr 10
Do asian men who have been americanize expect the white woman to be subservent?
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erq says:Posted: 04 Apr 10
I am married one. A man that is. Slept with manothers. THe penis is not small In fact the white gy I am divorcing now ismsaller thant he first ex. They cook more than white men do and many do thier own laundry.
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usacala says:Posted: 08 Feb 10
As far as I know , most of Asian Women are racists and snobs . they are so arrogant. Actually they are so poor in this country but they are really looking down at the poor and the weak . Statistics show that most of asian american women have mental problems in this land because of cultural conflict between their parents tradition and american society. They just look for rich guys or guys from great family background to marry. In short , don't date and marry with Asian american woman. It is wasting your life . if you like asian women, You can go to China, Japan, Thai,.... , you can find many wonderful women over there. But don't marry Asian American Women : racist and snob
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Member says:Posted: 23 Aug 09
I am a Hong Kong Chinese-American girl. Keep in mind, I've dated more than one, or even 3, guys from various cultures (no, I'm not a ho) and the majority fit into the same strerotype. Asian cultures have always strongly leaned towards being able to marry up in wealth and class and being light skinned is considered more beautiful. Eurasian children are 95% of the time gorgeous and I'm sorry, Blasian children usually are not in my eyes and most other Asians' eyes. The darkness and the hair texture is what puts us off. Even though I've dated Black men, I would NEVER have children with one because of how dark it would turn out. Harsh, but true. As for Spanish men, the lighter, the better. In Hong Kong where my family is from, Filipinas are usually the maids. To have a child with a Spanish man would make my child look like that and it doesn't sit well with my culture. Asian-American men don't usually like me because I'm usually taller than them (5'9"), very curvy (size 8 or so) and am not submissive. Another harsh, but true, reality is that Asians tend to be more educated than Blacks and Hispanics. Call me racist all you want, but the statistics speak for themselves. Most Asian women don't want to hear it from their family or experience it for themselves to marry beneath herself and have dark children. Family is very important in our society and if your spouse's family is not up to par, we will talk shit about them, plain and simple. Do you want to be harrassed about how horrible your spouse's family is everytime you see your parents? If you insist on dating an Asian woman just to see how it is, go ahead. There are plenty of women who will date outside their race, regardless of skin color, hair texture and social standing. My cousin is dating a very dark Trini man. They're happy. Please just realize that although, this is MY opinion, I would say about 80% of Asian-American women will agree with me.
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Member says:Posted: 17 Aug 09
I am an average white American woman and I happen to LOVE LOVE LOVE Asian men. I also have a thing for men that are near my height or a little shorter than me. I am 5 ft 9 in. Asian men are HOT. Chinese, Japanese, Indian, etc. HOT. I don't know why any woman would not want to date an Asian man. Why do men always think that it has anything to do with penis size??? Seriously?? We don't pick husbands based on size! Give us a little credit! I have 2 friends that are married to Asian men. I don't think it's that uncommon.
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Member says:Posted: 03 Aug 09
These things are emotional and personal. It's impossible to draw conclusions, even if detailed and scientific studies were performed. There is no scientific evidence to suggest that most asian mixed race relationships involve an asian woman and caucasian male.
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Filipino says:Posted: 30 Jul 09
If an Asian American rejects Asian guys, she is a racist and it's as simple as that. Nobody has immunity to racism against their own race.
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Tender says:Posted: 15 Jul 09
As a woman of Eurasian ethnicity (Malaysian born Chinese mother and Anglo Saxon white Australian father), I find hiimsteph's view of how Eurasians look offensive (though obviously, this is her opinion and in that sense, cannot be 'wrong). I do not say this to be egotistical, but in no way could I ever be considered unattractive or 'lame', with 'no profound characteristics'- I have olive green almond shaped eyes, full lips, curves in all the right places and am often referred to as a 'little doll'. I have, however, experienced a lot of racism in my time, that runs the gamut from uneducated people assuming I am my father's 'mail order bride' because I am young, pretty and they can see no obvious shared features between us, to out and out threats of rape and violence due to my mixed ethnicity. I have been called an 'Ornamental', a play on 'Oriental', as apparently Asian women make the best arm candy. I have many Eurasian friends, none of whom could be considered unattractive and all of whom are seen as exotic and appealing in general, due to the mix of Caucasian and Asian features. There are studies that indicate that Eurasians have the greatest appeal to both Caucasians and Asians, as we fall right in the middle of what is considered attractive to both cultures. In Asia, the beauty market for 'whitening' products is HUGE. Culturally, pale skin has always been considered more appealing and Asians desire to look more 'Western'. However, in Western culture, Caucasians want to look darker (the ridiculous obsession with tanning) and more exotic. So clearly, it is a case of wanting what you cannot/ do not have. It has also been said to me that some white men like Asian women better as they are built 'smaller' in all senses, thus making them 'tighter' - I found this explanation slightly offensive. Culturally, Asian women are raised to be more submissive and subservient, another appealing factor for a particular type of man. I have dated Asian guys, Italians, African Americans, Greeks but my fiance is Caucasian. Whether this is because my father is Caucasian or because I have been raised as 'Western' in a Western country, with very little exposure to Asian culture as my mother's family still live in Malaysia, I do not know. I am undecided on the factors that have influenced and shaped who I date. But let it be said, that I do not date anyone purely on race alone.
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Memo626 says:Posted: 14 Sep 10
This is the most honest and most educational post I have seen. I am an asian girl in a serious relationship with a white guy. Sometimes I wish my boyfriend were asian. Does that make me somewhat racist? Or maybe I'm just tired of people labeling me. If I were dating an asian guy I would be labeled as normal and I would not be under the radar. I think I make him sad sometimes when I tell him this. I searched for stuff online to see if anyone else experiences this. However, I found something totally different. I found alot of asian guys very angry at asian women for not dating asian guys. I found that a lot of black people believe that asians are racists towards them. I found theories about how asians want to be white. Nothing I found was helpful. Everything I found was full of anger and hate and alot of times just plain stupid.
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Member says:Posted: 22 Jun 09
Lol i just typed in that website for shits and giggles and those asian guys all have little asian 5 inchers and those are supposedly the "big" ones. I think a small factor is also because asian women like bigger penises, and studies show that caucasian are often multiple inches larger than asian males in penis size.
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Member says:Posted: 05 Jun 09
Katie and Jack... Been reading a while now, some good stuff around here....
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globalnomad says:Posted: 11 Feb 09
See what a professional writer andextremely well-traveled individual says in "Asian Women in Asia--A Dating and Marriage Guide for Westerners." It's the most extensive, comprehensive and helpful free article anywhere on this topic. www.asianwomeninasia.com
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JohnLove says:Posted: 07 Feb 09
There will always be some peoples that will hate peoples just because of the color of their skin,God looks at our heart not the color of our skin, all of of our bodies is going back to the the dirt after we die.regardles of who we are or what status we might have had during our life time.love see no color, or knows no color.
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guy says:Posted: 07 Feb 09
Check out Hung Lo the first Chinese male porn star fucking white women at shelovesasiancock.com. I hope this website will bring awareness to white, black, hispanic, jewish, arab and native indian people in America that many asian men do have large penis size like Hung Lo and are not always shorter than white men. Look at Yao Ming he is the tallest basketball player in the NBA. Yao has better skills than any basketball player in the history of the NBA that was taller than 7′ 5″ that includes the likes of Mark Eaton, Shawn Bradley and Manute Bol. There was this fear in the early 20th century in america by white men that asian men were animals, beasts and barbaric because they have large families, very horny and must fuck a lot. The white man then made a concerted effort to dehumanize the asian man to be sexless, unappealing, skinny with buck teeth, short in height with a small penis size so as to protect the white women from cross breeding and having mixed race kids. This disinformation has been constantly circulated in the media (movies, tv, radio, books, newspapers, and magazines) for the last 80 years. How can so many white people believe these stereotypes for so many years. The late Bruce Lee the martial arts expert and actor is so macho, robust, masculine and is a stud with no buck teeth. Are we to believe that he is uglier than Kelsey Grammer, unappealing, feminine like all asian men, too soft, can’t fuck white women because he is asian, by the way his wife is white. Are we to believe that Yao Ming who is asian has a penis size smaller than Mini Me who is white from the Austin Powers movies. For all those asian men haters out there, wake up and smell the coffee, Porn star Hung Lo is not the only asian man in America fucking white women. Face the facts asian men haters, times have changed and an asian man/white woman couple will no longer be perceived as taboo, odd, a rarity or an aberration but will be seen as mainstream and ubiquitous. A black man is now the president of the U.S. and an asian president will happen in the future.
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mysteeq01 says:Posted: 04 Feb 09
Well, this is what i know... The Asians (in particularly Indians) have a caste system, this means the darker the skin the lower the caste you are. In some societies, they would kill their own daughters, if they ever discovered she dated a blk guy, however they would more accept it if she dated a white guy, as the children are likely to be lighter skinned. Try going to India, as a tourist and watch them, they have shelter everywhere not wanting to get tanned! If you see an Indian man with a blk woman, he is most probably from the Caribbean Islands!... and you dont see many of those either!
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JohnLove says:Posted: 01 Dec 08Hello. I personally feel that asian women are the same as all women are. it is the tpye of thinking or fram of mind the have that meke them see things the way they do.the opposive is what attracts peoples to each other, it is awful nice to have so many differet flavors of ice cream to taste.and most interracial childrens are so beautiful or cute .when they are born.
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hiimsteph says:Posted: 25 Jul 07Hey I love your ice cream analogy, making me want some!
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suiyoobi says:Posted: 22 Jul 07Our world is like an ice cream parlour filled with hundreds of different flavors. Sadly, Asian women have been led to believe that with all these wonderful flavors...vanilla is the safest, best flavor in the shop. I'm not saying vanilla is a bad flavor, but how do you know if you like pistachio or rum raison or butter pecan...unless you take a risk and taste it. A band called Wild Cherry played soft rock in the 80's to little success. It wasn't until they did the funk flavored " Play That Funky Music" that their career took off. If Asian women are comfortable in the asian-caucasian box. More power to them. But there's a whole world out there that they're missing out on
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Memo626 says:Posted: 14 Sep 10
Hmm. I find that all these theories about asian women are really just that...theories. I am hoping that none of these theories are applied to every asian woman you meet. In fact, I hope that every time you meet a new person you start with a clean slate. I guess I feel like I have to reply to some of these crazy theories. I guess I am offended because your theory states that asian women have been programmed by our society to pass on all flavors (of icecream) because vanilla is safer. (I got a good laugh out of that.) It is true that the majority of our society are white people. Therefore, most of everything that is made or produced will be for white people. White people will be portrayed as beautiful, wealthy, smart...so on and so forth. So everyone (not just asian women) will be affected by it to a different degree. (Yes, even white people will be affected by it.) Some people won't notice it. Some people embrace it. Some people fight it. Some just don't care. I met my boyfriend online playing a video game. I had no idea what he looked like for three years. We started out as friends and we ended up falling in love. It just kind of snuck up on me. When I found out he was white I was very disappointed. Before I met him I dated asian guys exclusively. All my friends knew I was interested only in asian guys. I didn't think I was racist. I just grew up believing I would date and marry an asian guy. I had plenty of crushes on white and black guys growing up but nothing more than that. Needless to say my parents were pissed. They did not talk to me for two years. I have also noted that when we go eat out together we get weird looks. People just stare rudely. We have had white people blatantly treat us wrongly, asian people stare us down (they stare me down like I'm a traitor), and black people tell me I'm racist. I can only guess as to the reasons why. I am guessing that the white folks don't like the fact that a white guy is dating an asian girl. I am guessing that the asian folks don't like the fact that I'm an asian girl and I should be dating an asian guy. We have had random black guys come up to my boyfriend and tell him he is "the man" and that asian girls would not bother with black guys. That pisses me off something fierce. If I had a magic wand, I would change my boyfriend to an asian just to be rid of this stupid race stuff. Better yet, I would change all the people of the world to green. We can all have green skin and guess what? We would still fight over other differences. But at least it'll be one less thing we'll be fighting about.
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suiyoobi says:Posted: 20 Jul 07
Personally, I feel kind of sorry for Asian women. They're missing out. Our great big beautiful world is like an ice cream parlour filled with 100's of different flavors. Sadly, they've been programed some what by our society to by pass all the flavors and go straight for the vanilla because it's safer. Vanilla ice cream may be good, but how do you know what butter pecan, or rum raison, or pistachio tastes like...if your afraid to taste it?
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Leon says:Posted: 22 Jun 07
I've found that one of the insecurities that Asian women struggle with, is their eye appearance. When seeking cosmetic surgery, The eyes are the #1 thing they want to change. This may, Or may not be a reason for some of their preference toward white men. They desire a more American look, That would open more doors to their pursuits. They feel that slanted eyes limit them somewhat, Of reaching their potential.
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Memo626 says:Posted: 14 Sep 10
The problem here is that you're trying to generalize a group. Not all asian women struggle with their eye appearance. I am proof. I am happy with the way I am. (Sure I could use more exercise and eat healthier, but who doesn't?) I am piss tired of articles like the one above generalizing asian women. Oh, and what is the point of you posting what you "found" to be an insecurity asian women struggle with? There is none. Most people have some sort of insecurity whether it be physical or emotional. And how the hell does having an insecurity make a person have a preference for white men? This post makes no sense.
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hiimsteph says:Posted: 20 Jun 07
I personally like Asian men. Wish to find one that is open enough to dating (or try dating) a black woman. Its not bad at all. And quite frankly I think asian-whte couples when they have children they come out looking..pretty lame, with no profound characteristics at all.. am I lyin? Im not trying to knock AW dating but thats what I think. But a Blasian couple looks more full of character and varietized and just plain out of the ordinary, very unique.
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hiimsteph says:Posted: 20 Jun 07
I personally like Asian men. Wish to find one that is open enough to dating (or try dating) a black woman. Its not bad at all.
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