Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they’d rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
Tags: black women white men dating, interracial relationships, asian women dating
Popularity: 55% [?]
January 17th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
interracial relationships..well..well..a man and a woman..why should I have only 50% of the possible connections between man and woman…it’s the 21st century kids..and you where in school longer than your grandfather…jim
January 20th, 2008 at 6:50 am
I always fantasized about white men when I read Mills and Boom novels when I was younger and I dreamt of one day meeting my white knight . I had black boyfriends and white and I can take positive and negative from both . However my preference has always been white men ….Since I turned 21 I only date white men because I am very comfortalble and relate and interact with them very easily
January 21st, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Does anyone know the names of the two couples on the right?
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I have dated men of different races and ethnicities. I wish I could say I had a “favorite” type, but I have to say it boils down to the man who treats me with respect and who is his own person. As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed that their colors have become lighter and lighter. If Black men my age would approach me, I’d date more Black men.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:55 am
I would like to take the time to thank ***blackcentury.com*** for the wonderful service they have provided. I met my husband through the site 1 year ago, we were two people of different cultures and countries. Yet, because of this great website we were brought together after finding love. Maybe you will love it.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I am a black women who thing some white guys are sexy.that does not mean Idon’t find guy black sexy. If I happen to fall in love with a white guy tha’t fine. It’s no one busness but mine.If that is the person for you good.it’s your live no one else.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Lauren Says:
I just read an advertisement from another blogger who suggested a particular website for interracial dating (I will not name the referred to site - you can read above to see that). The post is suspect.
NOTE: The poster who claims to have met her ‘husband’ through the referred to site is posting the ‘personal success’ “story” in every thread.
Everyone please be careful about joining dating sites. Make note of the following when deciding to join an internet dating service:
1) Does the site appear to be reputable?
2) Are there a good selection of preferred men in your specific age range?
3) Is the internet site free? OR is it just free to JOIN but you must pay to contact someone you have an interest in or respond to a wink or email sent to you?
4) Are the photos on the website authentic? There is a large group of scam artists who look to prey on innocent men and women who join the sites looking for someone sincere.
The scam artist wants to lure you with fake photos and gain your trust. Then suddenly there is an issue which your ‘date’ requests (either direct or indirect) for you to send money or some other form of benefit. Do not fall for this; the behavior should be reported immediately.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:18 am
The couple on the far right are former US Secretary of Defense William Cohen & BET personality Janet Langhart. Don’t know who the couple in the middle is.
January 30th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
i only date white men because i am more attracted to them . not because of status or the old myth they have money. it helps….lol. but the thing is i have more in common. men are men regardless of race really.but i get approached by them more. than black men. yes its odd but thats the way it is.
February 8th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
i don’t know, the whole thing is just so damn complicated. there is alot of political agenda in almost every article i reada bout the couples. like when the article said
But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
“But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.”
to me that is condescending, i know there are people who say things like that, but what about people who just happen to meet someone who happens to be white and they click. i am dating a great guy who is white and i didnt go into it thinking that he must have money or he must be a step up or he will treat me great because i am black, if anything i was wary about dating interacially , ( havent dated a white guy in years). but he is funny, smart, kind and i really vibe with him.
i just feel like i found a nice person and i can make a real connection with him that may l ead to something in the future, but at the same time im like, do i really want to deal with that aspect of it, i don’t honestly, i live in NYC and so its not such a shocker to see interracial couples but I still find myself wondering
about all the bullshit that probablly runs through people’s heads.
ultimately we will decide what happens, i know i am strong enough in myself to be with who i wanna be with, and he doesnt seem to have a problem being with me at all, he treats me like a princess, and whatever color he could be, thats easy to get used to.
February 12th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Where I grew up there was a majority of Black people. It seemed like none of them in the exception of a stereotypical geek or nerd knew how to treat us as females. This didn’t turn me away from black men completley but it definatlety contributed to it.
I still date black men but in a smaller scale than white men.
To answer the question, for me it really depended upon the things that took place when I was younger.
Plus for some reason I always found them more attractive. When I used to day dream about my wedding or something along those lines there was never a black man in any of them. I guess I lost there image as far as life long commitments. I used to be disappointed with myself because I didn’t want to be the type of person to not be attracted to my own race. But when I tried to pull out a white guy and put a black guy in there instead it never worked, I jut couldn’t imagine.
Then I came to terms that I just lost that attraction, that lust that I had for them. Which was definatley influenced by my past experiences with them.
February 17th, 2008 at 5:18 am
Hi everyone,
I agree that every white man may not be the right man for you. Every black woman has her preference on the type of white man she wants, but I am here to say BE CAREFUL. I’ve heard lots of variety when it comes to this. Some black women like white guys who act and talk “black” (this is CERTAINLY not my type but if it’s anyone elses then more power to ya. The other union is a black woman who likes a white man only becuase she believes or he does have money. The other type is the white guy who goes out with a black woman to prove some kind of political/social cause. The other type is those who want to literally rebel against their family or society. Another type is the white man who wants a black woman because he thnks she is easy to get in bed and/or cheaper than a white woman. The list goes on and on!
You know what? I think there could be many reasons why a white man would choose a black woman and visa versa…I have met all kinds mentioned above so these unions exist…However, the best one is obviously one that is genuine and true and not based on superficial notions or steriotyopes of race. But I believe that you should choose the best for you. For me the only type of union between a white woman and a black man is where he treats her like a beautiful princesss and adores her more than any other woman…not ony because of her culture or color but because he doesn’t only see her colour but sees her beauty within and out. ALSO, if it’s important to a black woman (and it is for me) that the white man accepts my culture and if he doesn’t understand things about it then is very eager to learn. We spent many years learning their culture so they should show an interest in ours as well.
So sistas! What I want to say is that if you choose a white man for your partner then PLEASE BE CAREFUL in choosing the RIGHT white man. The right one is obviously the one you choose BUT get to know him inside and out about his ideas on race, your people, culture, how his friends and family are, the environment you will live in if you move in together etc…ULTIMATELY….him, his family and the society you live in should support you both as an interracial couple and what you stand for. Black women have come a long way. There is no need to be treated wrongly by any man so pick carefully and make sure he treats you chivalrously, gentlemanlike, loving, respectfully…and YES his friends and family should too. So don’t go picking any white man because he’s white. Take your time and find the right one.
God bless!CaribPrinces
February 24th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
i only date white men b/c thats whos in my professional/social environment im a medical nuerologist (in 2nd year residency) in NYC and see BW and WM all the time. its not big deal b/c NY is so diverse so im treated more as an attracted intelligent female than a black female…race doesnt matter that much where im at…it helps to live in/near a big diverse city
February 24th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
omg i totally agree w/ Amira in new york no one really gives a damn. excuse the french. and my sister lives in florida and she says that the BW WM down there is hapenning more than BM WW but we are both in professional environments. so that has alot to do with it. also when i went on my first cruise this past march i noticed about three BW Wm and they were the young proffesionall type. so yep its happening more because black women are not waiting for anyone they are getting what they want out of life (happiness) regardless of the mans skin color but i cant lie. white men are soooo damn cute. and i love their uniqueness like light eyes dark hair, light eyes light hair german look, dark skin dark eyes dark hair Italian and Portugeuse look, they are too many to name i say NYC is the best place for BW and WM b/c of the mentality up here. and the amount of young professionals in general.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
i found that white men are more attraction to me than black men.and white men are more romantic .but i still date both black and white man.it the way the person treat you,so race do not matter to me.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:14 am
Well, well, well. This is a highly interesting blog topic! And as much as I find James’s initial paradigm “preference or racism” hitting the point home, I also 100% agree with CaribPrincess that the assessment of the person prevails all other “attributes”. But what about the time aspect?
In the beginning and on the initial dating scene, what initially attracts prevails. Later, I believe everyone gets more or less colorblind, as it is the person inside that counts. So does our attraction control where we look for love? Yes, i believe so. But does it determin love? I say No!
Myself I have been a “rainbow warrior” in my early days. No matter the color - a date is a date! I did not attach any value to color back then, but hey, i was young and little did I know about myself
I live in Scandinavia, and 95% of the population is pale white! Somewhat 15 years ago, i discovered, that my inner senses, my willingness to surrender, my immediate lust and my extra attention lies in COLOR. Since then, I’ve only dated black or colored women - african, south-asian or caribbean. And it comes with challenges, because basic cultural differences are evident, given the low procentage of black or colored women here. But I know this is me, and I embrace those differences as a part of the package.
The point I aim to make is just, that you gotta know yourself and know what really works for you - and then commit to it and go for it. Color or not, it still takes a LADY to be(have) a GENTLEMAN
Chris
March 10th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
I’ve done mostly online dating, and when I’m looking at pix for “initial” attraction, skin color only plays as one factor into the testosterone fueled inspiration to write someone; I see eyes, lips, bone structure, body shape, and then skin as a complement to the total package. Then I dive into the profile to see if she’s got some characteristics that’ll work with my personality well (or rather, I look for things that definitely WON’T work). I’m glad I don’t analyze skin color to the degree it’s been blogged about on this site; I imagine that would dampen my emotional reaction and reason to contact her with blunt force logic. And logic doesn’t have THAT much place in underlying connection. Maybe later, but not initially.
Chaz
March 19th, 2008 at 4:45 am
My mom told me when I was in kindergarden I told her I had a crush.She then told me I pointed him out and he was blonde-haired,white and blue-eyed.
As long as I remember I’ve have a perference.I don’t dislike black men or any other man of color for that matter.The long and short of it is …I like lighter skin.
I love how it looks against mine.Funny enough, the white guys Ive dated dont see me as “black” ,they see me as a beautiful woman they love and respect.
I don’t stereotype people.I’ve had great experiences with white men and bad ones.Ive had great experiences with black men and bad ones,too.Heck,I’ve dated hispanic men and a good man is a good man.We all just have a perference.
I dont think its any different than a woman wanting a heavy guy instead of a thin one or a man wanting a woman with long hair Vs. Short. You like what you like and hopefully the person you like is good to you.
And the couple in the photo are Robin Thicke and Paula Patton
March 24th, 2008 at 4:08 am
Ashley,
You are hilarious! I love your honesty. I’ve come to understand that you have to not only pray for ‘feeble-minded’ people but, feel sorry for them. Angry, bitter, racist(people) etc are usually unhappy, depressed, disappointed w/life in general. So, they look to ‘infect’ everyone else w/their misery as opposed to dealing w/their issues.
You have to live your life in a manner that is respectful to you & God. You need not answer to anyone else. You love who you love, you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to & you connect to who you connect to. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. I believe that is why society is so screwed up. Everyone is so busy trying to dictate how others should live….meanwhile, they haven’t taken the time to live right themselves! I plan on visiting Texas in July & if all the men are like you there….I can’t wait to get to Texas! YEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWW!
March 27th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
There are a lot of interesting things being said on this site it is sad that black folks have come this far only to look at each other in disgust. I love black men i am married to one and could not dream in my wildest dreams of marrying a white man. there is simply too much bullshit to work thorugh and truth be told there is a lot of illusions, fantasies and myths going on when God made a black man he made a black women there is something to be said about that every culture has a man and a women of their own culture no it is not wrong to date /marry outside your race there has always been intercultural marriages in the bible but it has always been wrought with issues that they would not have to deal with if they had married within their own culture. I have cousins who divorced their 1st black hubbie and remarried a 2nd black hubbie so sista the brothas are out there its your descision just look before you leap and remember if you say you fell in love! Who tripped ya?!
April 1st, 2008 at 2:02 pm
why only date white men, there are 2 many choices out there. I can’t speak about exclusively dating white guys, but i sometimes date white guys, and that is just because something about him would appeal to me. in general i find white people are uptight about interracial dating, and i don’t like the stress of dealing with that. even if they don’t say that to y our face you have to deal with the piqures from basically their acquantainces, family etc.
white women will never admit this but they are insecuare about seeing black women with white men. and so are many black people, its alot of shit to wade through personally, depending on where you live, i live in NYC and you’d think there would be loads of mixed couples, but truth in fact there arent half as many as you think, i think alot of those interracial couples are composed of asians, indians etc. with other races.
i am dating a whit eguy now whom i happen to like, he is funny down to earth etc. we dont get alot of flack about that, and i am secure enough in myself to be with him, but marriage is a whole other ball game, this depends on you and how you feel, your mindsetwhat you are willing to tolerate, your views on race, culture, etc.
but why would a black woman living in a predominantly white male dominated and still racist society choose only white men, i don’t get that. even well intentioned black women sometimes feel “guilt” over dating white men and wonder how they are depicted. a woman that would date only white men must be really ballsy not to mention perhaps have some h angups about herself.
April 13th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I have a good friend who is a very hansome white
male, lots of money, education who is only turned on
by black women.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:52 am
Recently, I’ve come to realize that we could be blocking our blessings by limiting ourselves. You never know what or who God has in store for you. Don’t miss out on your blessings because the person didn’t come in the skin you’d expected!
Think about it.
May 14th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I have mostly dated Carribean men or African American men, a sprinkle of Hispanic, and a sprinkle of white. I am a dark skinned Latina. The past 10 years of my life has been spent mostly spent around white people, that is who I primarly have worked with and about 98% of my friends are white(which I’d like to change BTW). In those past 10 years the white people I have encountered always assume I’m black. This was not always the case, growing up in NYC I was laways pegged for being Dominican, and got called “Mami” alot by most black men and people in general. Funny as soon as you don’t live(I moved from NYC at 19) in a diverse or multi cultural area your either black or white. Like no other race, culture or background exisits. What about Indian or Hindu women with equally as dark skin, that date and marry white men? What of them? Isn’t that considered a inter racial relationship? What of Persian woman or womem from Brazil or Panama (like me) that have dark skin, and don’t look like your typical “Mexican” or “Puerto Rican”? Even those woman should they choose; would be in what is to be belived as an inter racial relationship.Although I think it is more socially accepted for an Asian woman to date a white men then it is for black women(or other races), Asians have strong cultural and religious beliefs, what of those pairings? We are woman of color as well and we also have had, and are having inter racial relationships and marriages.There are so many diffrent variations we aren’t talking about. I am currently engaged to a white man and he is truly amazing and loves and adores me and my son.He only sees me as a woman he loves, he does not see my skin tone. My son’s biological father was also a white man. My son can easliy be taken as “white” mainly because of his skin tone, straight brown hair, and green eyes.How amazing is it going to be when he tells people he’s half Panamanian and half Italian! Any children I have with my to-be husband will be Panamanian and Sicilian! So I’d like to hear from some other woman or people in general who are also in inter racial relationships but aren’t “black” or “African American”. Also I would just like to say, there is beauty in all of us. And face it some men and woman alike are just hot or good looking black white green or purple! Give credit where credit is due and love whom you want to love. The world should be a melting pot as I believe God intended it to be or else we’d all be the same damn broring shade of…..
May 15th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Im a Sri lanken Girl who loves white men so do all my female family members from my mum whos divorced and my 2 female cousins who married cute white guys.but i recently found out that one my male cousins also loves white guys and has always wanted a white boyfriend and he shared this with me he also told me that he wants to tell his mum but dosent know how to as he usually dosent keep secrets from her. I wanna support him as if he were a girl his mother would be quite happy about him having a white boy friend but since hes a guy he dosent know how his mum will react and i am the only person who he has told this too and i wanna tell his mom that he likes white men too but i dont know how she will react since i am a guy as he he wants her to know but dosent know how to tell her. could you offer me some advice as i would love to hear your on what to do here as he would like me to tell his mum.I dont think anyone has to explain liking white guys as many women of colour love white men that include Black, Asian, Indian and Sri lanken women and in Sri lanken and even men as my cousin only likes white guys. I dont think there is any need for a women of colour or even a man of colour to explain why they only like white men. I would like to hear from other in relationships with white men and if you can give me some advice.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Im a Sri lanken Girl who loves white men so do all my female family members from my mum whos divorced and my 2 female cousins who married cute white guys.but i recently found out that one my male cousins also loves white guys and has always wanted a white boyfriend and he shared this with me he also told me that he wants to tell his mum but dosent know how to as he usually dosent keep secrets from her. I wanna support him as if he were a girl his mother would be quite happy about him having a white boy friend but since hes a guy he dosent know how his mum will react and i am the only person who he has told this too and i wanna tell his mom that he likes white men too but i dont know how she will react since i am a guy as he he wants her to know but dosent know how to tell her. could you offer me some advice as i would love to hear your on what to do here as he would like me to tell his mum.I dont think anyone has to explain liking white guys as many women of colour love white men that include Black, Asian, Indian and Sri lanken women and in Sri lanken and even men as my cousin only likes white guys. I dont think there is any need for a women of colour or even a man of colour to explain why they only like white men. I would like to hear from other in relationships with white men and if you can give me some advice on this topic.
May 20th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Since a little girl my attraction has been to white men. I’m 42 and that was all I saw on tv and in the media. Elvis was my first love. As I got older I of course was able to see the beauty of the individual. My son is a black man and I love black men. The truth is I notice all good looking guys and approach any without hesitation. Unfortunately I hardly ever get approached by the black men I find attractive. It’s almost like they are more superficial in their desires and white men appreciate more than just my body. This is based on my personal expirience. I will say that my preference is for white or hispanic gentlemen…point blank. I don’t apologize for it. I taught my son that he is beautiful and capable and all those great things. I also taught him that mine is a preference and that it is not a slight on on any man or any race. FYI he has dated women of different races and finds his preference to be black girls. I try to practise what I preach/teach my son…When you choose to stand next to someone through this life there will be trying times, it wont matter what they look like, how much money they have and so on. The only thing that will matter is the important stuff on the inside.
May 20th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
I have a hard time accepting that I’m more attracted to white men. I think it keeps me from getting into the dating world.
After reading this blog and everyone’s comments, I feel a little better. I would never admit it to my friends, but I’m sure they know and see it.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:50 am
From my childhood days i had always had this thing for white men,i think they are very cute.i love and admire them a lot,though i have not dated any but will very much love to.Not that i have anything against the black men,no,they are lovely as well.just that i dont see anything wrong a black woman dating a white man.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Tune into my show tonight as I will be discussing “Black Women Finding Love and Contentment Outside of Their Race.” The show address is:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/LifeLoveAndEverythingInBetween
May 24th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I am not going to say that I don’t date black men I will just say that the right one hasn’t shown himselph. I have only had relationships with white men and I only have positive feedback. In my experience white men are loving, caring, open, romantic, passionate creatures who are ready willing and able to handle a strong black woman. So keep an open mind ladies
May 27th, 2008 at 3:38 am
This reaks of hypocrisy!!!! if a black man says he is not attracted to black women…everyone wants to play the “self-hatred” card and get all militant, but when it’s the other way around women get a pass.
Not knocking your preferences, if that’s what makes you happy then more power to you…I wish you the best. I’m just pointing out a double standard.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I completely disagree wih Andre, no doule standard here. I’m a black woman (maybe a little older than most here, 37) but when I first joined the Navy year 1990 we were pretty segregated onboard ship as far as who we hung out with, so being black that’s who I spent my time with. Although, I grew up in NYC and I’d dated a couple of white men before. When I dated my first white guy onboard ship I received so much animosity and hatred from my “brothers” that I didn’t feel comfortable being out with that relationship at all. Although, it was ok for them to sleep with every Filipino, white Australian, Asian woman, etc. in every port we pulled into! Still to this day I feel it’s more accepted for black men to date outside of our race and there lies the true double standard. For many years I’ve dealt with the bull, having married a white man at 21yrs old. We’re no longer together but it had nothing to do with race and I don’t regret it because we made three beautiful kids together…:-) The thing is, sometimes it’s just about attraction and what people like. It’s my preference to date white men and I can still appreciate the beauty and strength of a black man too. I just happen to be turned on by white men more, that’s what does it for me. It has nothing to do with status, or a horrible past experience with a black man, or being different, it’s just about attraction. You can’t change what you find attractive.
May 27th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Oh and for the record, I’ve never cared who people date, black, white, asian, gay or lesbian. People should feel free to love anyone that makes them happy and a perfect world would be if people could just get over it!
May 27th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Stereotypes. When Black men say that Black women don’t want them because theyy don’t dress in hip hop atire, they are sterotyping. “BLACK WOMEN” that is a large group of women, which include Beyonce, Oprah, Whitney Houston, Halle Berry, Tanisha, Kameka, and every other woman of African descent. And when you say BLACK MEN, you are speaking of alot of men of African descent who don’t wear hip hop clothes. That attire for the most part isuse is generational.
And that excuse, for the most part is lame, stereotypical, and covers the real truth. It is also insulting to white women. Because why would a white woman want you either if you have all these stereotypical problems. Furthermore, the excuse about Black women don’t want you because you are educated and not loud. Are you an idiot? African American women graduate college twice the rate of Black women, so the problem is reverse. And Black women still practice endogamy more than Black men. Just like you aren’t loud and ‘ghetto’, the MAJORITY of Black women aren’t either. You shouldn’t ascribe to these stereotypes.
Attitudes-another stereotype. it’s funny how people perpetuate these things about their own people when what that says is something even more about you. Furthermore, Black men are not exempt from their fair share of statistical problems. To say that Black women, or even some are petty, materialistic, and selfish is so off base, it is ignorant. Those things can be attributed to anyone, in any circumstance.
Lastly, white women are the penacle of beauty in America mostly following the Eurocentric paradigm. Black men-THIS is why you outmarry. Socialization economically, and educationally has nothing to do with it because you can check any statistic and Black women on average are climbing the social latter much faster than Black men.
Date who oyou like (when you find out who you are otherwise you become apart of self-hatred which is the problem and not the solution).
May 29th, 2008 at 2:54 am
One of my most fond memories was sitting at a table in the office cafeteria with about 10 beautiful black women. I had become friends with one of them, and so when I saw her sitting there alone at the table I joined her.
Soon all of her black girl friends showed up and sat at that same table with us. I was the only guy at the table, and not only that, I was a white guy with very white skin, but with an exceptional build (so I have been told). This happened about 18 years ago, so it was not a common sight to see back then.
I felt like a celebrity! Here were all these absolutely drop dead gorgeous black women, all of whom individually I though were more attractive than any of the their white female co-workers in the entire building. I was the center of attention at the table. It was wonderful.
The most attractive of them all, was a deep black beauty, who paid particular attention to me. Unfortunately for me, I was already married at the time, otherwise I am absolutely sure that we would have dated, and had a relationship. I probably would have fallen in love with her in a New York second.
May 29th, 2008 at 9:40 am
To the conanld, I just want to say I adore you! That is awesome! Such a shame you could not have experienced the joy an IR (interracial relationship) can bring. Relationships can be difficult at times, but when you go into one with someone of a diffrent race you have to be that much more willing and open. The mere fact that you appreciated a black women’s beauty and considered a relationship with one is awesome enough!
Maybe in the next life you can find another deep dark chocolate to love!!
May 29th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
i find it a bit strange to “only” date white men, that is a bit extreme, lets face it there are differences between whites and blacks, there is disparity, i have dated white men before, but i wouldnt do it exclusively, there’s something else at the bottom of that.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:54 am
Reena - hugs & kisses!
Actually, I did have one IR relationship prior to my marriage. At that particular time in my life I was too immature to stand up against my family who threatened to disown me if I did not break it off.
Today, I am absolutely certain that they would feel differently about me having an IR relationship, because things have and are continuing to change.
June 1st, 2008 at 1:24 am
Apart from racism inherent in our (and every other) society, I find the differences between me and any other races/ethnicities are limited to culture. I feel that the greatest differences between people have to deal with socioeconomic class.
I admit that I’ve dated white men exclusively, and I’m not ashamed. I’m not attracted to black men and I can’t tell you why. There are no stereotypical bad qualities I can spout, because I don’t believe any of it. Even if I were attracted to black men, they don’t approach me anyway. No skin of my nose.
June 1st, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Andre’s comment made me wonder if he didn’t read my earlier post or the posts of quite a few of the ladies on here. I specifically stated “I date men who treat me with respect and is his own person” At this point in my life, it’s happened to be men who aren’t African-American(or Afro Latino, European, Asian, or African). I haven’t met any men of African decent from Australia yet, I’d really love to, though. I have absolutely no problem with my self image, I am a proud African-American woman. I wish more black men would approach me, but they haven’t. The black men I have approached prefer not to talk to me, or I haven’t found him yet. While I do, why is it I have to “wait on him”, as a few have suggested? Just like Swtgurl190 so eloquently put it(I beat you, I’m 38!)a black man has no problem seeing a woman of any color and it’s no big thing for him or his friends. It’s WWIII if a African-American woman dares to step outside the race and not limit herself to such a small pool of potential suitors to find happiness and a possible mate. The strength and assertiveness my fellow sistas have had to maintain is both an asset and a liability in our own communities to some of the men! I’ve sat and watched an African-American man on a nationally syndicated talk show dog black women for wearing weaves/wigs, brightly colored clothes, and colored contacts, while praising Causasian women on their long hair, light eye color and fashion sense, as if white women don’t wear wigs and weaves, colored contact lenses and the season’s trend of bright colors.
I agree that there are some who go outside the race for reasons that aren’t quite legit(more money, more respect, etc)but not every woman who dates nonblack has a self esteem issue.
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:40 am
I am an Italian man who has dated all different races. It’s all based on experience and i’m open to all women but i prefer and date primarily black women. In my opinion there is nothing finer than a strong black woman. Beauty, intelligence, ambition. A sense of strength that i am attracted to based on my own adversities. I grew up with a black sister and a white sister and have been a civil rights activist for 8 years. I have met all women and nomatter the race I have respect for all of you ladies out there. Especially all the ladies here of all race and culture that are strong enough to take a stand and date outside your race to see the true good in people and not just their color.
Keep doin ya’ll thing and God Bless
Chris
June 4th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Wow as I read all the comments above, it makes me appreciate my love for people in general. I am a black woman that literally love all men regardless of their race and if the one I happen to fall in love with is not black, then so be it. It really has nothing to do with the skin color but the connection for me. To be in love is the greatest gift a man or a woman can receive and I would not let the color of one’s skin stop me from receiving my gift. If you think about it, when someone hands you a gift, the outside package is not usually the main focus of you accepting it. (Well of course, if it is a barf bag, I would have an issue) lol Life is too short, live your life and love who you love.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:24 am
as a black female, white men always seemed more appealing than the black guys. and apparently I act ‘too white.” whats that supposed to mean? just because I dont talk like Ive never had an education. My sister has a child by a white man and she is 3 and he takes good care of her, my brother married an australian woman so allmy life interracial couples were there and i think its a good thing toi.
June 10th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Im going to be moving back to NY I want to know what is the best place to hang out if i want to meet a middle age white man . Proffesional tall, and who love kids because i have 2.
thank you
June 17th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
My preference has always been white men. It should not matter what race the man you are dating or in love with. The only thing that should matter is that you care and love eachother. Living in the south has its challenges. It is very difficult to meet a white man that is not wanting to know whats it like to be with a black woman. I have to be careful and try to seperate the good guys from the bad. You would think that in this day and time people would allow others to live their lives. Sistas keep your head up and keep reaching for the stars.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:55 am
That last post was ill. I’m glad to be around positive sistas such as ya selves. Keep doin ya thing ladies.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
I’ve read quite a few of the comments posted on this blog and I would like to state my opinion. I am an educated black man. My parents are college graduates, still married and afforded me with a middle class life style growing up. I went to college, graduate school and have a professional job in my field (planning director/administrator). I’ve never been arrested, don’t do drugs, and I have a progressive outlook on life. However, when I read all of these comments on black women only dating white men I feel offended. Granted, I have slept with a large amount of chicks; white, mixed, black, spanish, etc. Nonetheless, I certainly would only be in a committed relationship with a black women. For one, she is the only woman who could provide me with the level of companionship and understanding that I need. Our experiences are similar, particularly as black professionals. I want my children to be born of a black woman, because she is who I am. As a black women, what could a white man give you that a black man couldnt? A vast majority of black men are as smart, good looking, and sucessful as any white man. Whats funny is, while you women date this white man, his family disowns him for dating a black woman, his friends laugh at him for dating a black woman, his reputation becomes jeopardized by dating a black woman. How is that being happy? Someone answer please…
June 19th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
My man,
You can’t put all white people in a box. I grew up in a very ol’ school Italian neighborhood and very proud of that, but my mom took in a little girl when I was a child and she was black. I grew up eatin’ my Cheerios with my black sister and my white sister and knew no difference. MY godson is from Trinidad and his mother is my best friend in the world. In my lifetime I’ve dated all races and my family has never disowned me, my friends have never laughed at me nor had off color jokes, and my reputation is stronger than most men black or white seeing that i’m a founding member of the Tampa Florida NAACP chapter and civil rights activist. Jus as I may not know the experiences as a black professional I would never put them all in the same category. Tough I am quick to respond I am not dumb. There are situations such as the ones you explain, but please keep an open mind. It’s my generation thats changing this world for the better.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:18 am
Dear Everyone,
The most intimate and important decision any will ever make in their life is the choice of who they marry. I married my wife because I’m a better person for having her in my life. (Why she consented is still a mystery to me.) I know marrying black woman would make my life more complicated but so what! Friends, family members who offered their ugly opinions about my wife are no friends of mine — marrying a black woman just make it easier to idenitify who really was my friend and more importantly who I wanted as a friend.
If you are lucky enough to find someone you can laugh with, cry with, hold in your arms and wake up next to for sixty years count your blessings and grab that chance when you have it because it might not come around a second time.
The only thing skin color tells you is how much sun screen you need to put on when you go to beach.
June 20th, 2008 at 2:44 am
WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY????? If I want to date/marry a woman outside my race then I WILL!!!!!!! People may give me Hell about it but love is stronger than anything else. I’m not out to “prove” anything or think “black” women are easy. I am genuinely attracted to ALL races and have always wanted to date/marry a woman outside my race especially a “black” woman.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:37 am
I respect how u fellows feel, but you’re white men. So essentially, you can’t speak on anything but your experiences. You can marry who u want, doesn’t mean its accepted nor that you’ll both be happy in the end. Too many outside tangibles to make things difficult for the both of you, particularly the black woman. I’ve got nothing against interracial dating, but its really unrealistic….. Its unnatural for black women to not have a preference for their own race.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:56 am
Well, as “unrealistic” and “unnatural” as you make think, this is 2008. E-Dub’s comments are on point.
And who cares about tangibles when you have two people who aren’t afraid to stand up for something knowingly or un-knowingly. I know plenty of interracial couples who have been married for a looooong time. That’s pretty real to a cat like me.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:46 am
You could probably count all of the successful interracial couples that you know on one hand…..
Pretend all you want, but you know that I speak the truth… Everyone on this blog knows too….
June 20th, 2008 at 10:57 am
There you go assuming again. Do you really think an activist of 8 years and a founding NAACP chapter member would only know a small handful of successful interracial relationships? Really now? It’s all good though man, maybe instead of thinking about my experiences you only read them on this blog. I’ve had the opportunity to travel and actually see what I talk about in a broad sense around the states and internationally. In no way is this “pretend”. This is real life and your issue is one that the good people on site’s like these are looking past. Please do not take any of this offensive. I am no “blog bully” as they say. Jus someone who likes a good debate. Keep doin whatchu do.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
You haven’t said anything offensive to me, brother. I enjoy a good debate also. I don’t have any issues with any race of people nor interracial relationships, some of my best friends and strongest associates are white; I’m in no way a racist. However, if interracial relationships were so accepted, then why is there a need for a website promoting them… Think about it…..
June 20th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I apologize if I’ve offended anyone with my last post about white men dating/marrying black women. All I’m saying is that NOT all of us white men think black women are “easy” and want them for their money. Love is important to me, NOT money. I feel everyone should make their own choices who they want to date/marry.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Hey fellas, black woman here…:-) First off, don’t worry Mr Geno, I don’t think you offended anyone here, otherwise you would have surely heard about it by now! lol Now on to this topic…. yet again. I agree with Tampa Chris, nothing beats a great debate and this one is very good…:-) Well, actually I agree with Tampa Chris on just about everything and I’m not sure what part of the closed off world Jalen is living in, but it sounds pretty sad to me. I say this because of your earlier comment, your words here…”Granted, I have slept with a large amount of chicks; white, mixed, black, spanish, etc. Nonetheless, I certainly would only be in a committed relationship with a black women.” How sad for that “large amount” of women! I suppose their feelings meant nothing? You really made yourself sound like a keeper and then what, the last part is supposed to be redeeming? Who’s being “unrealistic” here? When I married my ex, a white man (read my earlier comment), he wasn’t disowned by any family members and my kids have the best Grandmother in his Mom that I could have ever hoped for. His two best “white male” friends stood beside him on our wedding day and were genuinely happy for him, for they had known me first. And if anything for quite awhile I made his life more exciting and “colorful” because of who I am, not because of my skin color. Your words again here..”You can marry who u want, doesn’t mean its accepted nor that you’ll both be happy in the end.” This is the truest thing you’ve said yet and the only thing I agree with, but you know what? It’s true for black couples too, it’s the truth for everyone, no matter the color…:-)
June 20th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
No one is saying crossing the racil divide is easy nor would I recommend it for everyone. It can be hard a road and you better be prepared to take a few extra slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Personally, I’ve been fired once and quit once because of my “uppity” black wife — so be it. I don’t regret the decision one little bit.
We may not have skin color in common but both of our dads grew up poor in the south and left home early to join the military. We grew as military brats and have been dragged from pillar to post. Trust me, we understand each other. (She understands me too well!)
I didn’t plan on marrying a black woman. It just happened and I’m grateful everyday.
In August, We going to party for black/white couples to celebrate a 40th anniversary. There are going to be sixteen couples who have been married between four years and forty. It can work — it does work. No marriage is easy (the fact that the wife hasn’t buried me in the back yard for forgetting our tenth wedding anniversary amazes me) It won’t be easy but if there is a better way to pull our country together on the subject of race, I have yet to hear it.
June 22nd, 2008 at 2:39 am
as an african american male i have seen my brothers and sisters go white as a way of somehow becoming upwardly mobile.when they are out and about with there white man/woman they tend to look down upon other black people.to me this is sad because the only reason they are with that white person is because they think that it makes them superior and part of the in crowd or some other foolishness.most times the white person in the relationship is a lot more down to earth than the their black lovers.i say this to all of you sisters and brothers who are in an interacial relationship.make sure you are in it for love and not to bolster your lack of self esteem. love for the sake of love and not because you think it will elevate your social status, that would be shallow and pathetic……..peace and love to all of you.
June 22nd, 2008 at 4:46 am
I think you really should like someone for who they are not what color they are. I’ve predominantly dated sisters, a few spanish, and asian and one white. The best relationships have been with sisters but that’s what I was raised by and around. Even going to affluent high school the sisters just attracted me more
June 22nd, 2008 at 8:35 am
Thank You for your comment poetlove. I absolutely agree with you 100%. I didn’t mean to make it sound as tho’ I wanted to date/marry a woman just because of her race. There are good and bad off ALL races. Personality comes 1st. Just because I’m white doesn’t mean I’ll only date/marry a white woman. If she has an attitude forget it!!!!!
June 22nd, 2008 at 9:19 am
wyrwulf, it applies to ALL races. I’ve seen/known white women who do the same thing. They look at us white men like we’re nothing when they’re with a man of a different race. You have a good point–make sure you’re in it for love.
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I have only one statement to state:
“Love with your eyes closed and your heart and ears opened. Whomever that you come in contact with that gives you that warm feeling and that makes you smile is the person for you.”
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:21 am
missthang101 I couldn’t have said it better myself.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:43 am
To missthang100
You’re so right. I have loved with my eyes closed and my heart and ears were speaking volumes. I felt the warmth and I smiled deeply. I love him and he loves me. Now, he is gone because I was afraid. We both were afraid of this kind of love.
June 23rd, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Jalen -
Um you said you are educated???? Sorry I don’t see it…
July 4th, 2008 at 1:52 am
Dear Author
You and your sellout black women ilk make me sick. Once again another blog kissing the white man’s toes. That is why your proud to “date several white men’. Getting passed around with no commitment by white men but I know for a fact you won’t talk about. Then you promote this image of a white man sweeping “Tameka” away to a suburban white neighborhood where she can fit in with the “white soccer moms”. Your pathetic just like your sellout readers that bow their head for a white man.
Then on top of that you got the nerve to bash black men. A white man spits in your face you ignore it or do not say anything. I guess your trying conform to society so a “potential” white man does not see you ‘angry” or whatever stereotypes they promote.
Keep “dancing and showing your teeth for a white boyfriend” Then maybe one will pat you on the head and commit to you.
Sincerely
Mr Laurelton Queens
July 5th, 2008 at 3:33 am
Wow on one hand I agree and on the other i’m like damn. I do feel that sister who exclusively date white guys unfairly judge all black men. Trying to conform or appease another race damn sure shouldn’t be the reason you date someone of another race either. Only date someone if you find them extremely attractive and mentally engaging. Anything else would be uncivilized. I have first hand seen the black girl that only dates white guys turn into the group slut. Being an entertainer I have walked in the back room or writing workshop and see a black girl orally servicing one by one more than 7 whit guys. When I pulled her aside she stated she started dating one of the shows writers. Now she’s just passed back and forth for room and board basically. By a lot influential people in spoken word and theatre. So don’t become that person all on the persona of fitting in or conforming. Date someone cause your heart tells you and not society.
July 8th, 2008 at 1:27 am
To newyorkgirl–That is NOT entirely true. Black men love White women because of their fair skin, blonde hair & blue eyes. What about White men who hate seeing a White women with black men? HUH?!?!?!?!
July 8th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Mr. Geno. My first response did not make it through- but the bulk of it was that you are going off on two very different topics. Please re-read my post and see the topics on which I commented. I am well aware of the reasons why Black men prefer white women and I am well aware of how some white men feel about white females dating non-whites. BUT that is irrelevant to my post. White women are status symbols and Asian women are “in.” The truth is the truth.
July 8th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I don’t think it carries the same feeling that America’s history has brought onto us to see a White woman with a Black man. I think the sensitivity of the issue is more so seeing a White man with a Black woman due to the insecurities and inconsistencies of a black men in constant competition in a prodominantly white society. I think if anything, Black women are justified to be upset with Black males who prefer White women because as a woman, who is the base for family, they can feel inadequate to other women especially that of a different race. All in all the blood I bleed you bleed so we all the same. The key is that everyone needs some church in they lives and you know that love thy neighbor is bond.
much love
July 10th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
It’s a shame that a few racists try to ruin this web site for everybody else, by projecting their hate and distain onto others, and that is exactly what it is – a projection.
For you racists, if you don’t know the meaning of that word, then I suggest that you do yourself a great big favor and look it up in the dictionary, and then after that, take a real hard look in the mirror.
With a little follow-through, there still may be hope for you, but you’ve got a lot of work to do, so you’d better get to it.
July 10th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
This would be the fourth blog I’m replying to on here and I have to say we as PEOPLE are so interesting. We in so many ways look for what separates from one another rather than what we have in common. Like where Jalen made the comment that it was natural for blacks to be with blacks and only blacks, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Take a trip outside of the U.S. and see how much more it takes to make a connection other than race. I commend people on here like Mr Geno and Tampa Chris you guys had a lot of insightful things to add and I always find it interesting to see a white guy’s perspective on interracial dating since a lot of the people I know who don’t date outside of their race. As for some of the people who make ridiculous and racist comments please grow up, you know that this site was designed and made for the people who enjoy interracial relationships. Is it even logical to be shocked and annoyed that people on here like and want to date outside of their race. I know that a lot of us have a lot of pain when it comes to race, in particular us as “black” people but we have got to let it go and move forward. Race is a social construct designed for the sole purpose to divide the poor and middle class so they don’t notice how the rich and powerful are screwing them over. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!! We as human beings have a lot better things to pay attention to. I think as long as a relationship is between two consenting adults it should be honored as just that. Stop making other people’s relationship a representation of what you think the world has to be for you. If a black woman dates a white man with the hopes of becoming more socially mobile, how in the world does that concern you unless you want her and then man up and go after but if thats not the case then let them live their lives for GOD sake. If a black guy wants to date a white girl because he thinks shes more submissive and will let him get away with anything then thats there business unless you are a friend of that white girl and see that her man is taking advantage then be a friend and say something but other than that we are all adults and should be free to pursue whatever believe will make us happy and content. It might not work out the way we want it to or maybe it might but it should be our choice to make. When a guy dates only skinny women or a woman dates only tall men no one has anything to say or if they do its quickly dismissed as someone being a “hater”, I just have such a hard time with people taking up so much of their precious energy and time and focusing on things like this.
By the way I notice way too often we refer to only black people as brothers and sisters but lets keep it real all the people who have treated us like family have not only been black. I have sisters and brothers of all races.
I hope you guys appreciate my words, I love reading yours.
July 10th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
I also had to reply to Jalen because a lot of what he said was interesting to me. First of all I have to back him up on dating a lot of different women because I noticed one woman thought of it as something to be repulsed by but news flash sweetheart many if not most American men like to test the waters with a lot of different chicks before deciding to settle down with one and not every woman is looking for Mr Right at every single point in their life, sometimes they just want Mr Right Now and there is nothing with that as long as you don’t get someone’s hopes up. In dating there are no victims, we all make our own beds. As far as what he said about black women finding someone of their own race. Lets look at the numbers here, a large chunk of our men are either in prison or unmotivated and I can say this because I pay attention. Besides if any person can find someone who fulfills them, should they take a color check and if the person doesn’t match they should throw it away in hopes that they find something more to someone else’s liking. Brother are you crazy? You sound educated and tell me what part of that sounds remotely logical? As far as what it does to your reputation and what it does to your relationships with people, first off the people who truly love you will not take the decisions you make for yourself so personally that they will disown you and if they do it was probably a good thing you see their true colors because no one needs to be around people who keep them on a short leash. For the record for everyone who is African American reading this and who believe that we should stick with our own please stop pretending that we don’t have our own prejudices. I as a dark skinned black man have had more negativity thrown at me from black women during the first year of middle school than the rest of my life combined, so don’t make race on race dating sound like its perfection. We have so many hang ups about skin tone, I had a light skinned girls mother actually say in front of me don’t you think you might be happier with someone closer to your skin tone the babies will come out prettier. So any relationship can have its fair share of hardships, it just comes down to whether or not are you brave enough to accept love from where ever it comes from.
HOW ARE MORE PEOPLE IN LOVE A BAD THING? HOW DOES THAT HARM ANY OF US IF TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER FIND EACH OTHER AND WANT TO BE TOGETHER?
July 14th, 2008 at 1:23 am
I’ve been reading this blog for about a month or so but I never jumped in the conversation. What’s making me jump in now…I don’t know. I guess it’s because I’m starting a new dating ritual of my own and that’s actively seeking white men to date. I say actively seeking because before I never had a problem dating white men. It’s just that lots of white men never seriously approached me in social settings. Most of the times that white men showed interest in me it was when we met and got to know each other in business settings…and being in corporate america that can get sticky with any man for fear of the whole sexual harrassment. I think one of the main reasons you don’t see more bw/wm couples is that although a lot of wm find bw interesting I think many are scared to approach us. They don’t know if when they approach us if we will be one of the open minded bw who is interested or if we’ll give them some crazy look that says “I can’t believe this wm is hitting on me”. I think it’s hard enough for men to stick their neck out and get rejected…the whole bw/wm thing is just another added risk. I live in CA so interracial dating is fairly common although the majority is bm with other races. A bw/wm still gets a few looks. Strange…I never expected bm to get so upset about it. Also now it seems I have some bw friends living vicariously through me. Once I started telling my girls of my new dating habits the truth started coming out. Trust me a lot of bw want to dip over to the other side but they don’t want deal with all the bull from all the haters out there…and there are plenty. I’m not saying I’ll never date a black man again, but right now at this time in my life I’m finding a lot more wm in which I have more things in common with and share my values and interest on things that are important to me. It’s sad because in some ways I feel like I’m growing apart from a huge portion of the bm population. I never use to buy into the whole black man shortage thing but I think that was because I aways had a man and even when I was coupled up I would still get hit on by what I considered good bm. So I just assumed there wasn’t a shortage. But about a year ago I started paying more attention to things and I would notice that whenever I was out at the movies, dinner, concerts and other places there was always a bunch of bw girlfriends out together…manless. Even at the parks and beaches you would see black families with a bunch of women, the kids and only like 2 bm. I love to travel internationally and bm are missing from this picture as well. Now I know someone on this blog is going to come along and try and blast me and say I’m sterotyping brothas, or generalizing, but that’s not my intent. Me dating wm more now at this point in my life is a personal decision. I’m all about choices. The more I have to choose from the better I feel that I’ll find a good man. I think bm are going to be shocked in the next years to come at how many bw start dating wm. A lot of bm think they have a lock on the bw. In our society men are still primarily the pursuers of women. Once more bw start openly confessing they’re open to dating wm then I think more wm will pursue bw. Seeing it on TV will also make more folks more comfortable. I think it’s a good thing because love is hard to find period . Even harder when you rule out 88% percent of the population. That’s what bw do when they refuse to consider dating outside of their race.
July 14th, 2008 at 2:13 am
new2thegame I will say you are speaking on persoanl observations and choices, but also generalized observations. I often get that as the answer from bw who choose to venture something to the effect of “y’all do it” or “black men don’t act right”. I pose the question where are you meeting your black men at? If you meet somebody in an unsavory place nine times out of ten he’ll be an unsavory person. That goes for any race. As for the future yes i’m sure there will be more bw venturing. That also doesn’t mean there won’t be sisters not turning away from their brothers. I just don’t get the whole I’m at a time in my life where I only want to date wm thing. If anything that’s narrowing your field considerably also. Maybe not monetary but compatibility wise i’m sure of it.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
poetlove, I actually never had any terrible experiences with bm. I’m definitely not one of those women who are mad at bm. So that’s why my new approach isn’t an exclusion of bm, but instead more of an inclusion of wm. As far as the comment that I give up higher chances of compatibility with wm…well that’s where we may differ in opinion. I think that’s the mistake a lot of people make in thinking that one’s race is such a dominant and overwhelming force in our personality. As if sharing the same race trumps everything else about you. If you think about it how many of the things you do and enjoy in your everyday life are things done just by someone of your own race. Race makes up a part of who we are…it doesn’t define
July 14th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
What’s up all? As usual, love the input. Much respect to everyone. Jus wanted to let everyone know that CNN is doing a special on the 23rd and 24th called “Black In America.” They will be taking on many issues one of which is interracial dating and marriage. Check it out.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
I believe Seancarter that you were referring to me in regards to the Jalen topic on dating many women. You may have mis-read my meaning, I’m not repulsed that he’s dated many women, I’ve dated many men. I can’t even say that I was repulsed at all by his words, but I do find it sad that these women are ok to sleep with but the whole time you have this mentality that you can’t be in a committed relationhp with them solely based on their race. I can’t see many women being ok with that, even if he’s just Mr. Right Now. So, I appreciate what you’re saying (in his defense) if that was the way my words were meant, but they were not.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
One other little thing, we’re all adults here, so we all know that indeed there are victims in dating. Especially when people are not honest or straight-forward and there are quite a few dishonest men AND women out there. I doubt that he was going in saying to these women “Just so you know, this is just about a good time, because since you’re not black it’s not gonna go any further.” And just so I don’t get beat up here, I know that there are quite a few honest and straight-forward men AND women out there as well…:-)
July 20th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
i find some black girls attractive but i absolutely hatetodays black music…al of it..rap,hip hop,r&b and the like.i can’t even stand to lsiten to it for justa few minutes. and every black girl i’ve ever met is naturally into the black music.i listen to rock.country and anythig else but black music.so i’ve not ben very motivated to date the black girls i’ve met that i find attractive/.
July 27th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
me myself i am a black 20yr old african leaving in the UK, i have only dated one black man and i did not like him that much, av always liked white men i stated dating since i was 15yrs and at a age like that love never gets serious, i just turned 20 and i got sick of on and off relationships. one day we planned going out for a meal with few of my friends, it was a saturday night i wasnt in a mood of going out at all but i had to due to the fact that i could not let my friends down, i had a normall dress and never had make up on, two white men were sitting at our next table, i was not so concernd about them, i stood up going to order for a drink, one of the man came up to me and he sayed hallow!! i replyed hallow back, he asked if it was okey for them sitting along with us, and i sayed it was okey, we talked and he asked if i was single and i replied yes and luckly he was too, he bought us more and more drinks and dinner, at the end he asked if we had any plans for the rest of the night and we all sayed we dont have no plans, he offerd taking us at a night club just around that place, we had fun, at the end he told me that i was beautifull and kind, i liked him since the time i sat next to him, he gave me his number and i text him the next morning on sunday, he calld me and asked if we could meet up for lunch and sayed okey.. the next day he rung me again on a monday we talked for nearly 2hrs and we met again on tuesday for dinner, aswell as friday… i called him on saturday night and spent a night at his house, he took me home the next day.. i text him on that same day and he never replied me back, i was so upset as i liked him just for that one week. i was at work on the tuesday morning at around 10:30 and i received as flowers from him and a note saying (I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE AND IT IS DIFFICULT TO HIDE THE FEELINGS AV GOT. PLEASE BRENDA MARRY ME), yours andrew. i was happy but for a second i thought, why he never texts me back or even call, i had my phone and called him.. he said he was shy of telling me how he felt, i told him i liked him too so much.. we met up again that night and the following day and i grew up loving him for just the one week and a half, we meet up again on saturday telling me he had something for me, i dressed up well and amazing, he hold my hands tiet and asked if he would marry me, he took a lovely golden diamond ring from his pockets and asked me twice if i could marry him, and i sayed YES, the next day i rung my parents and told them everything, i meet his parents on a monday that week and they really liked me, my parents and my two brothers had to fly from africa to england on thursday that week… and we got married a week after. i know have a 4month little boy and our love is getting strong and stronger each day.
August 3rd, 2008 at 5:47 am
Congrats lely, many wishes to you.
I had a roommate who was only into dating white men. She said that she did not like black men and thought that white men were more cultured. I rolled my eyes and kept it moving.
I wrote in another post that I have experienced bad relationships with both white and black men. Which left me wondering what race I would end up with lol. I’m not sure if I would stop dating black men if I had only experienced bad relationships with them and not with white men…but I know that I wasn’t particularly looking for a white man to date then eventually marry. It just happened. And, the guy I’m with, I’m the first black woman he has dated lol so this is a new experience for both of us. He just told me that he loved my smile and personality, and I fell in love with his kind and considerate soul. Someone here said you like who you like. I’m not getting hung up on the fact that I date white men because all black men are-fill in the blank. I am so not into putting my race down to justify me dating out. There are good and bad black, white, purple, polka dotted men, and good/bad black, white, purple, polka dotted baby daddys…well, you get the picture.
I’m not quite sure why there are sistas out there who only date white men, you would probably have to ask each individual and not try to make blanket statements. Every single person has their own motive for dating out, whether it’s good or bad is left to be seen.
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:27 am
White men are HOTT!….and I just mesh with them better. I feel more at ease, comfortable and just seem to have more overall compatibilty with them.
While there are plenty of attractive black men, I’m just not attracted TO them.(sexually/physically)
I certainly wish that this weren’t the case, for my pool of potential mates would probably triple. But what sense would it make to try and date someone that you have no physical/sexual attraction for?
In the past, I actually opened myself to date black men but again their was no “spark”. There’s just no attraction.
Well at least I tried!
August 6th, 2008 at 1:05 am
THIS IS TO MR. LAURELTON QUEENS, YOU MY GOOD SIR, SEEM PRETTY ANGRY-I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT WOULD GARNER SUCH A RESPONSE FROM U. I HONESTLY WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.
August 6th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Dear Phatkity
I am not angry, actually I am at work right now. But I had to respond real fast. It bothers me black women bash black men to justify dating white men. From blogs to magazines and movies. I guess it is fashionable to do so. When you attack them back then your the insensitive one.
This blog is rather tame compared to most but some sellout black women hate themselves and their skin color. For all the negatives black men have. White men are not marrying sellout black women at a rapid rate. The perception can be different when your on a blog showing celebrity pictures but that is a fact.
I am giving my perspective as a 29 year old black man from New York City. Bottom line if you want to be a sellout stop thinking the world revolves around you and stop doing TV specials about how “single and accomplished you are” but can’t find a black man on your level.
I graduated college, I actually think that is bullshit because black women are intimidated by college educated black men that’s why they say ” Oh your with a white woman I bet”. I think they are better off with an emasculated white man if you ask me.
Sincerely
Me
August 6th, 2008 at 10:02 am
I am back again
I just could not resist. I saw CNN’s “To be on crack in Black America”. Simply amazing they would air the black community dirty laundry for ratings. Even the sellout black girl with her white husband in one segment. She threw her white husband’s family “under the bus”. She said his white family did not want “black blood in their family”. All her white husband could say is ” Yea well they came around no big deal”. NO BIG DEAL, jesus that is why I say some black women are desperate.
If a white family does not accept you, yet you continue to force yourself upon a white man’s family your a disgrace. Where exactly is your pride and dignity. By the way I am not through with CNN the host Soledad , she is biracial but married to a white man but she is the authority on the black community but hasn’t been there in years. In the segment she has the nerve to ask another “Black woman” why she had so many kids. The funny thing is the Host of CNN got like 5 kids herself! I guess cause their father is white it’s acceptable.
When a black woman has several kids it is a negative stigma of some sort. The black male shortage is a myth, there are more black men in college and the workplace than what the media says.
These sellout black women bloggers just want to sell books, magazines and make movies promoting their so called victimization. But you know what nobody will ever respect a sellout. I am for the black family because I was raised in a 2 parent home christian family. I refuse to be a sellout simply because you can’t find “the right person”. Maybe your not the right person, maybe you need to change things about yourself before you blame black men.
I am gone
August 6th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Mr. Laurelton makes good points, but I still thinks its such a broad topic b/c of so many peoples different experiences that it can’t be summed up in just his explanation NOR the CNN “Black in America.” I did watch the program and I honestly thought they did a fairly decent job in terms of getting to the whole unity thing with the old lady and the family reunion, but I’ve been dating sistas since forever and I agree wit Laurelton, that on the interracial couple. That was kinda whack. But I have had some family members(who are old) who don’t approve but F’em. Like that white dude, I don’t care because at the end of the day its who I Love and its just me and my lady. As long as she gets the respect she deserves (black, white, spotted, striped, whatever) its all good.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Dear Tampa Chris
I feel you on that by the way I use to live in Orlando Florida. Came back to New York City but that CNN ” To be on Crack in Black America”. They just seem to go out of their way to make black people look bad. Why people have to tell you to put a “shirt” on, the little homey would have got smacked up side his head by my pops. I was raised strict, I did run the streets but reality set in after my 20th year in high school lol. Grown ass man in high school I decided this is not cool. I went on to get my College Degree though a B.S in Criminology/Sociology.
I guess I am from a different era and I am 29 years old we just don’t air out our dirty laundry on television. At what point do you say look we are exploiting people here. Like the black woman with the 5 kids, that little jerk CNN sound man all up her business because she was about be evicted. Clearly she did not want that shit on camera.
But you see I hope this opens the eyes of these nappy headed sellout black women running around worshiping the white man as the solution to their problems. I got nothing against white men, my thing is stop making it seem like he is going to save the world like OBAMA.
I will never forget what this white man told me. He was formerly married to a sellout black girl. He said Laurelton they “hate you , they hate me, their just angry” You know what they are “programmed to fail”! At first I was like white boy talking crazy again. Then I realized yea they are “programmed to fail”. Why is out of all races of women, the biggest complaints are about black women. I don’t care if your not a black man. I heard it from all races of men but you see they won’t say nothing.
Me I will tell the truth period. Black women bloggers black balled me for a reason.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Sounds like someone has some anger issues to deal with
You can’t stereotype all black women that date outside of their race by the few. I have no issues with myself, my color or with black men and I am definitely not intimidated by an educated black man or by anyone for that matter. I say “More power to him!”, it makes his plight that much easier. I’m originally from Bklyn, NY, raised in a 2 parent Black Christian family as well and believe me when I say that I don’t feel like a sell out for having married a white man. That just happens to be who I fell in love with and I could care less how “some ignorant” people view me.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
The different era idea holds completely true. Mentalities that we have are directly through experience. I’m experiencing young 20-23 yr old black women and you are experiencing I imagine 28 and up. That small age gap alone has a great impact on our past history concerning race relations. I mean just think, in just forty some odd years we have to give some credit to how far we’ve come since SEGREGATION.(I know, I know not EVEN close to perfect but,) I mean, just recently we all wouldn’t have even been able to sit on this site and talk about this, let alone drink at freakin’ water fountain or worship in a church or the list goes on and on of bullshit rules. I think your generation and mine are going to obviously go through these debates for some time. But do keep in mind, we are THEE crucial element in THESE years thats going towards the betterment of our societies futures especially for our children. Just imagine 100 years from now. I’m hoping no one will even worry about a “sell-out black woman/man” What would happen if you met the most unbelievable white/asian/indian woman? There will be people who hate on you constantly. I imagine your love will out-weigh your peers notions because, well, they’re just ideas and opinions.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
P.S. HOLLABACK NY and the North. I’m from up north originally but ran from the cold weather.
August 7th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Why do we black women need Don Imus when we have Mr.Laurelton to insult us by calling us “nappy-headed” and “programmed to fail”? You are 29 years old and I know that you think you are “good and grown”, but you have a lot of growing up and self-introspection to do. The things that you have said about black women are cruel and terribly misplaced. I am a 39 year old beautiful successful lawyer who had never dated “outside my race” until two years ago when logic and love opened my eyes. Love is a powerful thing.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
The bottom line is…instead of this person & that person hating on each other because she’s w/him or he’s w/her & that couple doesn’t look like you….GET OVER IT! As long as you live a life of respect, love & caring, your life will come w/rewards you never dreamed of. But, if you spend your time disrespecting, insulting & keeping others down…you’ll never be the human being you were meant to be.
Your life will never be fulfilled & you are destined to pass that hate & negativity on to generation after generation. Get your life in order people! Because the people you’re hating on are living theirs to the fullest!!!
August 8th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
first off im not ab 2 write this like a term paper and im saying tht cuz on some forums ppl like 2 talk shit when u dont speak like this “I saw a dog, it was beautiful.” meaning all proper this is the internet so i am lazy when i type… sorry 4 the rant. im a black man and i think there is nothing wrong with interracial but it depends like it is one thing 2 happen 2 b dating some1 of another race its another 2 go looking 4 another race. i feel ppl like 2 use alot of cop outs like u will have a black man/woman say i dont find black men/women attractive which mean u dont find urself attractive due 2 the fact tht ur apart of tht race whether u like it or not. i also hate ppl tht use the i grew up around blank mostly thts y i find them attractiv, tht is bs i went 2 majority white catholic private schools all but 1 year (my senior year of high school) and i have a lot of white friends tht dont mean i dont want 2 date a strong black woman. ppl like 2 use the word preference like some sort of shield a lot of times ur preference should b attractive ppl not white,black w/e else. im not 1 of those black men tht bring up slavery 4 everything but this is 1 of the cases i have 2 white ppl r seen as the most attractive 4 the most part due 2 colonialism and conquering other ppl causing a superiority complex and inferior complex amongst ppl which still carries on 2day. ex: notice lighter is considered the right thing 2 date especially places where whites conquered. im a lightskinned 19 year old black man and i think 1 of the key reasons the black race is so attractive is due 2 the way color varies. i remember reading a article ab rapper young berg saying he dont date women darker than him (some call tht preference i call it cop out) he called darker black women dark butts which is highly offensive. i also hate the whole proffesional man/woman cop out ppl use its 1 thing 2 not date underachievers its another 2 date some1 based solely on whether there on ur financial level. dont get me wrong i want a black woman(tht dont mean i wont marry others but i feel u should b content with ur own race) with degrees becuz i plan on having degrees n my life but tht dont mean i wont marry a black woman who bust her ass at a blue collar job.also another thing ppl dont seem 2 realize is interracial couples effect blacks more and minority’s more than whites due 2 population size. if ever person n every minority married a white person there would still b 100 million+ whites n th US left over but no more minioritys. 2nd off i hate the term mixed becuz most americans white black etc r mixed the white slaveowner great great w/e grandad of mine had a white wife and family 2 which would b distant cousins. n the US the term mixed gets used wrong like this 4 ex: ppl tht say they r half white half black 1 of 3 things is true ab this statement 1. u r half white genetically but ur not half black genetically 2. u r half black genetically but u r not half white genetically 3. ur neither half white or black and have something else n u. 95 % of black americans r mixed racially the other 5% r mixed ethnically like differnet tribes from africa. 2 different articles i read said significant amounts of whites have black blood (means they r black by one drop rule definition) 1 article said 1/3 of white americans have black ancestry 2 some degree the 2nd article said 50million+ whites have black blood 2 some extent. the US has hella problems with race and ethnicity tht will not b solved ne time soon (interracial dating will neither hurt tis or help this) like black americans (not the mono racial group from africa which r not all black as hell like the media potrays amny r lightskinned and have no admixture whatsoever) r still the biggest ethnic group n the US despite wht the media potrays. latino is a bs ethnic group becuz ethincity deals with ur country u come from so technically we’re all american but if u did want 2 use ethnicity 2 differentiate groups then latino is still not a country colombian american and venezuelan american r ethnic gropus not latino. also latino gets used incorrectly if it were used right latinos would b the majority n the US nopt white ppl. a latino is ne1 who speaks (or has decent) a romantic language a romantic language is ne language derived from latin, if u speak molodivian, french, spanish, italian, romanian, or portuguese u r latino. im sorry 4 the rant but i felt like this was a good issue 2 bring up problems tht deal with race period.
August 8th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
also u have black white asian hispanics and latinos there is a difference hispanic and latino r not interchangeable if u speak spanish u r hispanic and latino. if u speak ne other language i mentioned ur just latino
August 8th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
1 more thing it has always been taboo for ppl 2 date outside there ethni or racial group the only difference is with men its taboo but exceptable with women it is taboo and unexceptable. alot of blck men dont like black women dating white men becuz they want things like white men used 2 have it back n the white men would have a white wife but would have girlfriends on the side who were different races a lot of black men want tht they want there ice cream and cake 2.
August 8th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
i meant 2say with men it is viewed as taboo but exceptable with women it is viewed as taboo and unacceptable
August 11th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I have never dated white men before, but lately I have realized that I have been limiting myself by being a little close minded, so I am open to all races including white men who I have often found attractive but did nothing about it.
I do have friends who are wealthy black professionals who feel that the pool of men is limited in their social circles to just white men.
August 11th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Dear Potential sellout black women.
There is no limited pool, it is limited when you want to date a rich man. Their are plenty of blue collar black man that work hard everyday. Instead your so self absorbed in your lives and career that you make blanket statements alluding to a black male shortage. The simple fact is you do not put yourself in a position to meet these men. Instead you feel the white man will come down and sweep you off your feet like the white washed “lifetime” special you constantly watch all the time.
It does not matter who you date if your think men are supposed to worship you just because you have a degree than your dating experience is going to continue to be tough. Stop watching television and the media there is plenty of black men to date. These bitter lonely sellout black women are promoting this failed agenda.
August 11th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
MR. LAURELTON!!!……………………………
Blue collar men ARE HOT!! I’m a blue collar gal myself.
I’m a bus mechanic.
Seems that a lot of women don’t go for that anymore these days. What happened to “I love a man in uniform!”?
Mr Laurelton? Sounds like you’re the only bitter one here.
You feel as if you’re bashed by black women or whoever?
Well suck it the f*ck up!
Quit your self loathing. If you know that the negative connatations don’t apply to you then get over!
As I’ve mentioned, I’m a bus mechanic. Yes, a bus mechanic!! I work side by side with big husky men all day… the first and ONLY women in this garage.I pull engines,transmissions front and rear axles out of these 12,000 lbs vehicles for a living.
This job takes a lot of physical and mental fortitude. I break nails, bust knuckles, get covered in grease and dirt all day just as they do and despite being a great mechanic, my abilties are ALWAYS second guessed simply because I’m a female. I’m like a side show at work. If they’re not starring at my a**,they’re questioning my abilities as a mechanic, if not that,they’re gossiping about who’s gonna be the first guy who’d get to “hit it”. I’m subjected to a bunch of loud cursing, the guys spreading rumors that they went out with me, the aleination(I’m a mechanic but I’m not “one of the guys”)the jealous attitudes because I can do my job just as well as they can. They are all waiting to see me fail.
I wear my pink nail polish when I go to work to pronounce the fact that I AM FEMALE AND I CAN STILL DO MY JOB!!! It’s a blow to their male egos and they let me know in so many ways that they don’t like it!!…EVERYDAY!!!
My point to you, Mr. Laurelton is if I can suck this all up and still MAINTAIN my dignity and femininity then you too need to suck it up and maintain your integrity and manhood. QUIT YOUR B*THCHIN! and stop slinging mud..”sell out black women” , Nappy head”.
One thing I can’t stand is a whiny, self loathing man OF ANY RACE!! I have to suck up the predjudice as a black person AND a woman both AT WORK AND in society in general. But I hold my head up and prevail while maintaining my integrity. Oddly enough it’s the guys at work who complain when they have to do extra work.lol despit all that i go through at work, you will never hear them say that i complain or that I try to get them to do my work. Ironically, they hate that too!
GROW A PAIR!!!
August 12th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Dear Cheygirl
I assure you before I worked in the “IT” Field I was working in a Sears inventory and various other tough fields I was even a bus driver and taxi driver for awhile. I did what I had to do, I really don’t know what that has to do with interracial dating.
As for the Nappy head comment , Imus was agreeing with Bernie (his sidekick said that comment). Then he said it was a word he heard in the black community. Considering Imus “sidekick” said he grew up in the “hood” with other races which includes black women. Why is it a shock when that word is said? But yet your outraged by me saying it.
Secondly you say I am bitter or self loathing. I think that you have a personal problem with the men around you that don’t respect what you do so your taking it out on me. The finger nail comment and all these things as if to say ” I am a woman” look at what I am going through just to do this job.
I respect what you do, but you don’t respect what I do. “Growing a pair” is when you think for yourself and not like how everybody else thinks in society. If we all thought alike, you wouldn’t be working as a mechanic among men now would you?
You said you have suffered prejudice and sexism at work. Yet you want to date white men but your upset at me. Girl wash the grease out of your hair and get a clue.
Good day to you
August 12th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I love the fact that I am a mechanic. I took on a job that the average woman wouldn’t even dream of doing.
My issue with you is NOT the topic in which you’re angry about but the fact that you are so bitter and insulting as a result of it.
I’m addressing your anger not the issue of interracial dating.
It’s the BITTERNESS AND ANGER I have a problem with. The topic in which you’re complaining about is rather stale and corny….WE’VE ALL HEARD IT BEFORE!
The guys at work, yes they suck; they have a problem with me because they have a problem with themselves first. They bitch and moan all day long just as you are and I hate to see men behaving this way especially when I as a woman AND a black person have twice as much predjudice to cope with in this world but it’s always the men(of all races) complaining about some social injustice towards them.
In certain situations I feel that a man should be stronger than a woman. When I see otherwise it’s very disappointing.
“Grow a pair” meaning that you need to focus your energy on coping with your issues. Your insulting comments makes your integrity and maturity questionable.
Defend your honor as a MAN first by acting like one THEN you can defend your honor as a “good BLACK man” second.
August 13th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Dear Cheygirl
It seems like your the one that is bitter and angry. You mention the obstacles you go through at your profession and all this “feminist” whining. I am the most content man you will meet. You said “yourself” that white men have been racist to you. Yet you are on an interracial board like I am worrying about my comments. I welcome that but I realize I am on an “interracial board”.
You said your addressing my anger with “anger” of your own which makes perfect sense to me. But that is to assume I am angry in the first place.
Then you said in certain situations a “man should be stronger than a woman”. I really do not know what you mean by that. You want to be treated equal at the workplace but can admit men “are stronger than you” in certain situations.
As for social injustices, I do not get political here I talk about interracial dating and “what is wrong with this idea”. I don’t care about black militants, I don’t care much for politics, I am not here to be “pro black” even though I am a black man.
I don’t need to defend my honor because I have never been a sellout. I got the integrity to date black women within my own race. While others bash their “OWN” race of men to justify dating inter racially.
Tell sellout black women to grow a “pair” when you can’t find a man within your own race. Then choose white men as ’second place” to resolve your dating desperation. Because in the end that is all it is.
I would hate to be “second choice” PERIOD!
August 13th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Hey Cheygirl6 I just have to give you kiddos on your comment.
August 13th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Thanks, Pookie.
As for this debate…..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
August 14th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Dear Mr Laurelton Queens:
This is an interesting debate, but I’m confused.
Are you a black man on an interracial dating site trying to date black women that you deem as sellouts?
Are you a black man on an interracial dating site interested in dating outside your race but feels the need to slam black women to justify your choice?
Are you a black man on an interracial dating site looking for a black woman that’s attracted to your “black women are sellout” compliments.
I’m confused!
August 14th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Dear DadsLilGirl
I am not on this board to date anybody. I just find the debate and blog interesting. There seems to be more freedom of speech here compared to other “sellout black women blogs” that I am an avid reader of. As for my personal life yes I have met sellout black women in the “closet”. They seem to reluctant to tell black men like “sometimes” that they have been with white men. In some cases some say their are searching for a white man to date but seem focused on black men with “white women.
As for me dating outside my race, I doubt that will ever happen and nor would I do it to “spite black women” like they do to use by using white men.
As for attracting black women that “agree” with my commentary. I don’t need to attract black women, I am the new “breed of black man”. I really think black women sometimes underestimate Professional black men. We adapt to the way black women feel, in real life you wouldn’t know how I feel. In real life you would have no idea my “opinions” on issues.
Black women think because we comment negatively on interracial dating we feel “threatened”. We are not threatened at all. You just have to “protect” your interests that’s all. I will give you an analogy I was watching MSNBC lockup. The whites, blacks and latins have their own gang. The guy says ” We are like countries sometimes we go to war”.
It is very much similar to my mentality and some black men. Protecting your interests includes women in your own race. There is a reason black women is the last race of women to date outside of their race.
Since you asked me a question. Let me ask you this how does it feel “oth