We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they’d rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
Tags: black white dating, interracial relationships, black women white men dating
Popularity: 40% [?]
Comment by techie on 17 January 2008:
interracial relationships..well..well..a man and a woman..why should I have only 50% of the possible connections between man and woman…it’s the 21st century kids..and you where in school longer than your grandfather…jim
Comment by staska on 20 January 2008:
I always fantasized about white men when I read Mills and Boom novels when I was younger and I dreamt of one day meeting my white knight . I had black boyfriends and white and I can take positive and negative from both . However my preference has always been white men ….Since I turned 21 I only date white men because I am very comfortalble and relate and interact with them very easily
Comment by girlsixdiva on 21 January 2008:
Does anyone know the names of the two couples on the right?
Comment by cocobaker813 on 22 January 2008:
I have dated men of different races and ethnicities. I wish I could say I had a “favorite” type, but I have to say it boils down to the man who treats me with respect and who is his own person. As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed that their colors have become lighter and lighter. If Black men my age would approach me, I’d date more Black men.
Comment by Black and White on 28 January 2008:
I would like to take the time to thank ***blackcentury.com*** for the wonderful service they have provided. I met my husband through the site 1 year ago, we were two people of different cultures and countries. Yet, because of this great website we were brought together after finding love. Maybe you will love it.
Comment by topsy on 28 January 2008:
I am a black women who thing some white guys are sexy.that does not mean Idon’t find guy black sexy. If I happen to fall in love with a white guy tha’t fine. It’s no one busness but mine.If that is the person for you good.it’s your live no one else.
Comment by Lauren on 28 January 2008:
Lauren Says:
I just read an advertisement from another blogger who suggested a particular website for interracial dating (I will not name the referred to site - you can read above to see that). The post is suspect.
NOTE: The poster who claims to have met her ‘husband’ through the referred to site is posting the ‘personal success’ “story” in every thread.
Everyone please be careful about joining dating sites. Make note of the following when deciding to join an internet dating service:
1) Does the site appear to be reputable?
2) Are there a good selection of preferred men in your specific age range?
3) Is the internet site free? OR is it just free to JOIN but you must pay to contact someone you have an interest in or respond to a wink or email sent to you?
4) Are the photos on the website authentic? There is a large group of scam artists who look to prey on innocent men and women who join the sites looking for someone sincere.
The scam artist wants to lure you with fake photos and gain your trust. Then suddenly there is an issue which your ‘date’ requests (either direct or indirect) for you to send money or some other form of benefit. Do not fall for this; the behavior should be reported immediately.
Comment by earat8d on 29 January 2008:
The couple on the far right are former US Secretary of Defense William Cohen & BET personality Janet Langhart. Don’t know who the couple in the middle is.
Comment by paula99 on 30 January 2008:
i only date white men because i am more attracted to them . not because of status or the old myth they have money. it helps….lol. but the thing is i have more in common. men are men regardless of race really.but i get approached by them more. than black men. yes its odd but thats the way it is.
Comment by aaliyah on 8 February 2008:
i don’t know, the whole thing is just so damn complicated. there is alot of political agenda in almost every article i reada bout the couples. like when the article said
But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
“But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.”
to me that is condescending, i know there are people who say things like that, but what about people who just happen to meet someone who happens to be white and they click. i am dating a great guy who is white and i didnt go into it thinking that he must have money or he must be a step up or he will treat me great because i am black, if anything i was wary about dating interacially , ( havent dated a white guy in years). but he is funny, smart, kind and i really vibe with him.
i just feel like i found a nice person and i can make a real connection with him that may l ead to something in the future, but at the same time im like, do i really want to deal with that aspect of it, i don’t honestly, i live in NYC and so its not such a shocker to see interracial couples but I still find myself wondering
about all the bullshit that probablly runs through people’s heads.
ultimately we will decide what happens, i know i am strong enough in myself to be with who i wanna be with, and he doesnt seem to have a problem being with me at all, he treats me like a princess, and whatever color he could be, thats easy to get used to.
Comment by Pookie on 12 February 2008:
Where I grew up there was a majority of Black people. It seemed like none of them in the exception of a stereotypical geek or nerd knew how to treat us as females. This didn’t turn me away from black men completley but it definatlety contributed to it.
I still date black men but in a smaller scale than white men.
To answer the question, for me it really depended upon the things that took place when I was younger.
Plus for some reason I always found them more attractive. When I used to day dream about my wedding or something along those lines there was never a black man in any of them. I guess I lost there image as far as life long commitments. I used to be disappointed with myself because I didn’t want to be the type of person to not be attracted to my own race. But when I tried to pull out a white guy and put a black guy in there instead it never worked, I jut couldn’t imagine.
Then I came to terms that I just lost that attraction, that lust that I had for them. Which was definatley influenced by my past experiences with them.
Comment by CaribPrinces on 17 February 2008:
Hi everyone,
I agree that every white man may not be the right man for you. Every black woman has her preference on the type of white man she wants, but I am here to say BE CAREFUL. I’ve heard lots of variety when it comes to this. Some black women like white guys who act and talk “black” (this is CERTAINLY not my type but if it’s anyone elses then more power to ya. The other union is a black woman who likes a white man only becuase she believes or he does have money. The other type is the white guy who goes out with a black woman to prove some kind of political/social cause. The other type is those who want to literally rebel against their family or society. Another type is the white man who wants a black woman because he thnks she is easy to get in bed and/or cheaper than a white woman. The list goes on and on!
You know what? I think there could be many reasons why a white man would choose a black woman and visa versa…I have met all kinds mentioned above so these unions exist…However, the best one is obviously one that is genuine and true and not based on superficial notions or steriotyopes of race. But I believe that you should choose the best for you. For me the only type of union between a white woman and a black man is where he treats her like a beautiful princesss and adores her more than any other woman…not ony because of her culture or color but because he doesn’t only see her colour but sees her beauty within and out. ALSO, if it’s important to a black woman (and it is for me) that the white man accepts my culture and if he doesn’t understand things about it then is very eager to learn. We spent many years learning their culture so they should show an interest in ours as well.
So sistas! What I want to say is that if you choose a white man for your partner then PLEASE BE CAREFUL in choosing the RIGHT white man. The right one is obviously the one you choose BUT get to know him inside and out about his ideas on race, your people, culture, how his friends and family are, the environment you will live in if you move in together etc…ULTIMATELY….him, his family and the society you live in should support you both as an interracial couple and what you stand for. Black women have come a long way. There is no need to be treated wrongly by any man so pick carefully and make sure he treats you chivalrously, gentlemanlike, loving, respectfully…and YES his friends and family should too. So don’t go picking any white man because he’s white. Take your time and find the right one.
God bless!CaribPrinces
Comment by amira on 24 February 2008:
i only date white men b/c thats whos in my professional/social environment im a medical nuerologist (in 2nd year residency) in NYC and see BW and WM all the time. its not big deal b/c NY is so diverse so im treated more as an attracted intelligent female than a black female…race doesnt matter that much where im at…it helps to live in/near a big diverse city
Comment by crystal on 24 February 2008:
omg i totally agree w/ Amira in new york no one really gives a damn. excuse the french. and my sister lives in florida and she says that the BW WM down there is hapenning more than BM WW but we are both in professional environments. so that has alot to do with it. also when i went on my first cruise this past march i noticed about three BW Wm and they were the young proffesionall type. so yep its happening more because black women are not waiting for anyone they are getting what they want out of life (happiness) regardless of the mans skin color but i cant lie. white men are soooo damn cute. and i love their uniqueness like light eyes dark hair, light eyes light hair german look, dark skin dark eyes dark hair Italian and Portugeuse look, they are too many to name i say NYC is the best place for BW and WM b/c of the mentality up here. and the amount of young professionals in general.
Comment by lisa on 6 March 2008:
i found that white men are more attraction to me than black men.and white men are more romantic .but i still date both black and white man.it the way the person treat you,so race do not matter to me.
Comment by Mzungu1967 on 7 March 2008:
Well, well, well. This is a highly interesting blog topic! And as much as I find James’s initial paradigm “preference or racism” hitting the point home, I also 100% agree with CaribPrincess that the assessment of the person prevails all other “attributes”. But what about the time aspect?
In the beginning and on the initial dating scene, what initially attracts prevails. Later, I believe everyone gets more or less colorblind, as it is the person inside that counts. So does our attraction control where we look for love? Yes, i believe so. But does it determin love? I say No!
Myself I have been a “rainbow warrior” in my early days. No matter the color - a date is a date! I did not attach any value to color back then, but hey, i was young and little did I know about myself
I live in Scandinavia, and 95% of the population is pale white! Somewhat 15 years ago, i discovered, that my inner senses, my willingness to surrender, my immediate lust and my extra attention lies in COLOR. Since then, I’ve only dated black or colored women - african, south-asian or caribbean. And it comes with challenges, because basic cultural differences are evident, given the low procentage of black or colored women here. But I know this is me, and I embrace those differences as a part of the package.
The point I aim to make is just, that you gotta know yourself and know what really works for you - and then commit to it and go for it. Color or not, it still takes a LADY to be(have) a GENTLEMAN
Chris
Comment by alpha96 on 10 March 2008:
I’ve done mostly online dating, and when I’m looking at pix for “initial” attraction, skin color only plays as one factor into the testosterone fueled inspiration to write someone; I see eyes, lips, bone structure, body shape, and then skin as a complement to the total package. Then I dive into the profile to see if she’s got some characteristics that’ll work with my personality well (or rather, I look for things that definitely WON’T work). I’m glad I don’t analyze skin color to the degree it’s been blogged about on this site; I imagine that would dampen my emotional reaction and reason to contact her with blunt force logic. And logic doesn’t have THAT much place in underlying connection. Maybe later, but not initially.
Chaz
Comment by BlkRockerbarbie on 19 March 2008:
My mom told me when I was in kindergarden I told her I had a crush.She then told me I pointed him out and he was blonde-haired,white and blue-eyed.
As long as I remember I’ve have a perference.I don’t dislike black men or any other man of color for that matter.The long and short of it is …I like lighter skin.
I love how it looks against mine.Funny enough, the white guys Ive dated dont see me as “black” ,they see me as a beautiful woman they love and respect.
I don’t stereotype people.I’ve had great experiences with white men and bad ones.Ive had great experiences with black men and bad ones,too.Heck,I’ve dated hispanic men and a good man is a good man.We all just have a perference.
I dont think its any different than a woman wanting a heavy guy instead of a thin one or a man wanting a woman with long hair Vs. Short. You like what you like and hopefully the person you like is good to you.
And the couple in the photo are Robin Thicke and Paula Patton
Comment by virgo66 on 24 March 2008:
Ashley,
You are hilarious! I love your honesty. I’ve come to understand that you have to not only pray for ‘feeble-minded’ people but, feel sorry for them. Angry, bitter, racist(people) etc are usually unhappy, depressed, disappointed w/life in general. So, they look to ‘infect’ everyone else w/their misery as opposed to dealing w/their issues.
You have to live your life in a manner that is respectful to you & God. You need not answer to anyone else. You love who you love, you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to & you connect to who you connect to. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. I believe that is why society is so screwed up. Everyone is so busy trying to dictate how others should live….meanwhile, they haven’t taken the time to live right themselves! I plan on visiting Texas in July & if all the men are like you there….I can’t wait to get to Texas! YEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWW!
Comment by janet blount on 27 March 2008:
There are a lot of interesting things being said on this site it is sad that black folks have come this far only to look at each other in disgust. I love black men i am married to one and could not dream in my wildest dreams of marrying a white man. there is simply too much bullshit to work thorugh and truth be told there is a lot of illusions, fantasies and myths going on when God made a black man he made a black women there is something to be said about that every culture has a man and a women of their own culture no it is not wrong to date /marry outside your race there has always been intercultural marriages in the bible but it has always been wrought with issues that they would not have to deal with if they had married within their own culture. I have cousins who divorced their 1st black hubbie and remarried a 2nd black hubbie so sista the brothas are out there its your descision just look before you leap and remember if you say you fell in love! Who tripped ya?!
Comment by Nakhasi on 1 April 2008:
why only date white men, there are 2 many choices out there. I can’t speak about exclusively dating white guys, but i sometimes date white guys, and that is just because something about him would appeal to me. in general i find white people are uptight about interracial dating, and i don’t like the stress of dealing with that. even if they don’t say that to y our face you have to deal with the piqures from basically their acquantainces, family etc.
white women will never admit this but they are insecuare about seeing black women with white men. and so are many black people, its alot of shit to wade through personally, depending on where you live, i live in NYC and you’d think there would be loads of mixed couples, but truth in fact there arent half as many as you think, i think alot of those interracial couples are composed of asians, indians etc. with other races.
i am dating a whit eguy now whom i happen to like, he is funny down to earth etc. we dont get alot of flack about that, and i am secure enough in myself to be with him, but marriage is a whole other ball game, this depends on you and how you feel, your mindsetwhat you are willing to tolerate, your views on race, culture, etc.
but why would a black woman living in a predominantly white male dominated and still racist society choose only white men, i don’t get that. even well intentioned black women sometimes feel “guilt” over dating white men and wonder how they are depicted. a woman that would date only white men must be really ballsy not to mention perhaps have some h angups about herself.
Comment by tman on 13 April 2008:
I have a good friend who is a very hansome white
male, lots of money, education who is only turned on
by black women.
Comment by blocking the blessings on 15 April 2008:
Recently, I’ve come to realize that we could be blocking our blessings by limiting ourselves. You never know what or who God has in store for you. Don’t miss out on your blessings because the person didn’t come in the skin you’d expected!
Think about it.
Comment by bri♥ on 14 May 2008:
I have mostly dated Carribean men or African American men, a sprinkle of Hispanic, and a sprinkle of white. I am a dark skinned Latina. The past 10 years of my life has been spent mostly spent around white people, that is who I primarly have worked with and about 98% of my friends are white(which I’d like to change BTW). In those past 10 years the white people I have encountered always assume I’m black. This was not always the case, growing up in NYC I was laways pegged for being Dominican, and got called “Mami” alot by most black men and people in general. Funny as soon as you don’t live(I moved from NYC at 19) in a diverse or multi cultural area your either black or white. Like no other race, culture or background exisits. What about Indian or Hindu women with equally as dark skin, that date and marry white men? What of them? Isn’t that considered a inter racial relationship? What of Persian woman or womem from Brazil or Panama (like me) that have dark skin, and don’t look like your typical “Mexican” or “Puerto Rican”? Even those woman should they choose; would be in what is to be belived as an inter racial relationship.Although I think it is more socially accepted for an Asian woman to date a white men then it is for black women(or other races), Asians have strong cultural and religious beliefs, what of those pairings? We are woman of color as well and we also have had, and are having inter racial relationships and marriages.There are so many diffrent variations we aren’t talking about. I am currently engaged to a white man and he is truly amazing and loves and adores me and my son.He only sees me as a woman he loves, he does not see my skin tone. My son’s biological father was also a white man. My son can easliy be taken as “white” mainly because of his skin tone, straight brown hair, and green eyes.How amazing is it going to be when he tells people he’s half Panamanian and half Italian! Any children I have with my to-be husband will be Panamanian and Sicilian! So I’d like to hear from some other woman or people in general who are also in inter racial relationships but aren’t “black” or “African American”. Also I would just like to say, there is beauty in all of us. And face it some men and woman alike are just hot or good looking black white green or purple! Give credit where credit is due and love whom you want to love. The world should be a melting pot as I believe God intended it to be or else we’d all be the same damn broring shade of…..
Comment by sunita79 on 15 May 2008:
Im a Sri lanken Girl who loves white men so do all my female family members from my mum whos divorced and my 2 female cousins who married cute white guys.but i recently found out that one my male cousins also loves white guys and has always wanted a white boyfriend and he shared this with me he also told me that he wants to tell his mum but dosent know how to as he usually dosent keep secrets from her. I wanna support him as if he were a girl his mother would be quite happy about him having a white boy friend but since hes a guy he dosent know how his mum will react and i am the only person who he has told this too and i wanna tell his mom that he likes white men too but i dont know how she will react since i am a guy as he he wants her to know but dosent know how to tell her. could you offer me some advice as i would love to hear your on what to do here as he would like me to tell his mum.I dont think anyone has to explain liking white guys as many women of colour love white men that include Black, Asian, Indian and Sri lanken women and in Sri lanken and even men as my cousin only likes white guys. I dont think there is any need for a women of colour or even a man of colour to explain why they only like white men. I would like to hear from other in relationships with white men and if you can give me some advice.
Comment by sunita79 on 15 May 2008:
Im a Sri lanken Girl who loves white men so do all my female family members from my mum whos divorced and my 2 female cousins who married cute white guys.but i recently found out that one my male cousins also loves white guys and has always wanted a white boyfriend and he shared this with me he also told me that he wants to tell his mum but dosent know how to as he usually dosent keep secrets from her. I wanna support him as if he were a girl his mother would be quite happy about him having a white boy friend but since hes a guy he dosent know how his mum will react and i am the only person who he has told this too and i wanna tell his mom that he likes white men too but i dont know how she will react since i am a guy as he he wants her to know but dosent know how to tell her. could you offer me some advice as i would love to hear your on what to do here as he would like me to tell his mum.I dont think anyone has to explain liking white guys as many women of colour love white men that include Black, Asian, Indian and Sri lanken women and in Sri lanken and even men as my cousin only likes white guys. I dont think there is any need for a women of colour or even a man of colour to explain why they only like white men. I would like to hear from other in relationships with white men and if you can give me some advice on this topic.
Comment by happywithme on 20 May 2008:
Since a little girl my attraction has been to white men. I’m 42 and that was all I saw on tv and in the media. Elvis was my first love. As I got older I of course was able to see the beauty of the individual. My son is a black man and I love black men. The truth is I notice all good looking guys and approach any without hesitation. Unfortunately I hardly ever get approached by the black men I find attractive. It’s almost like they are more superficial in their desires and white men appreciate more than just my body. This is based on my personal expirience. I will say that my preference is for white or hispanic gentlemen…point blank. I don’t apologize for it. I taught my son that he is beautiful and capable and all those great things. I also taught him that mine is a preference and that it is not a slight on on any man or any race. FYI he has dated women of different races and finds his preference to be black girls. I try to practise what I preach/teach my son…When you choose to stand next to someone through this life there will be trying times, it wont matter what they look like, how much money they have and so on. The only thing that will matter is the important stuff on the inside.
Comment by HNicole77 on 20 May 2008:
I have a hard time accepting that I’m more attracted to white men. I think it keeps me from getting into the dating world.
After reading this blog and everyone’s comments, I feel a little better. I would never admit it to my friends, but I’m sure they know and see it.
Comment by riskytrezh on 23 May 2008:
From my childhood days i had always had this thing for white men,i think they are very cute.i love and admire them a lot,though i have not dated any but will very much love to.Not that i have anything against the black men,no,they are lovely as well.just that i dont see anything wrong a black woman dating a white man.
Comment by CafeAuLait on 23 May 2008:
Tune into my show tonight as I will be discussing “Black Women Finding Love and Contentment Outside of Their Race.” The show address is:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/LifeLoveAndEverythingInBetween
Comment by Babydoll on 24 May 2008:
I am not going to say that I don’t date black men I will just say that the right one hasn’t shown himselph. I have only had relationships with white men and I only have positive feedback. In my experience white men are loving, caring, open, romantic, passionate creatures who are ready willing and able to handle a strong black woman. So keep an open mind ladies
Comment by andre on 27 May 2008:
This reaks of hypocrisy!!!! if a black man says he is not attracted to black women…everyone wants to play the “self-hatred” card and get all militant, but when it’s the other way around women get a pass.
Not knocking your preferences, if that’s what makes you happy then more power to you…I wish you the best. I’m just pointing out a double standard.
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 27 May 2008:
I completely disagree wih Andre, no doule standard here. I’m a black woman (maybe a little older than most here, 37) but when I first joined the Navy year 1990 we were pretty segregated onboard ship as far as who we hung out with, so being black that’s who I spent my time with. Although, I grew up in NYC and I’d dated a couple of white men before. When I dated my first white guy onboard ship I received so much animosity and hatred from my “brothers” that I didn’t feel comfortable being out with that relationship at all. Although, it was ok for them to sleep with every Filipino, white Australian, Asian woman, etc. in every port we pulled into! Still to this day I feel it’s more accepted for black men to date outside of our race and there lies the true double standard. For many years I’ve dealt with the bull, having married a white man at 21yrs old. We’re no longer together but it had nothing to do with race and I don’t regret it because we made three beautiful kids together…:-) The thing is, sometimes it’s just about attraction and what people like. It’s my preference to date white men and I can still appreciate the beauty and strength of a black man too. I just happen to be turned on by white men more, that’s what does it for me. It has nothing to do with status, or a horrible past experience with a black man, or being different, it’s just about attraction. You can’t change what you find attractive.
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 27 May 2008:
Oh and for the record, I’ve never cared who people date, black, white, asian, gay or lesbian. People should feel free to love anyone that makes them happy and a perfect world would be if people could just get over it!
Comment by tj on 27 May 2008:
Stereotypes. When Black men say that Black women don’t want them because theyy don’t dress in hip hop atire, they are sterotyping. “BLACK WOMEN” that is a large group of women, which include Beyonce, Oprah, Whitney Houston, Halle Berry, Tanisha, Kameka, and every other woman of African descent. And when you say BLACK MEN, you are speaking of alot of men of African descent who don’t wear hip hop clothes. That attire for the most part isuse is generational.
And that excuse, for the most part is lame, stereotypical, and covers the real truth. It is also insulting to white women. Because why would a white woman want you either if you have all these stereotypical problems. Furthermore, the excuse about Black women don’t want you because you are educated and not loud. Are you an idiot? African American women graduate college twice the rate of Black women, so the problem is reverse. And Black women still practice endogamy more than Black men. Just like you aren’t loud and ‘ghetto’, the MAJORITY of Black women aren’t either. You shouldn’t ascribe to these stereotypes.
Attitudes-another stereotype. it’s funny how people perpetuate these things about their own people when what that says is something even more about you. Furthermore, Black men are not exempt from their fair share of statistical problems. To say that Black women, or even some are petty, materialistic, and selfish is so off base, it is ignorant. Those things can be attributed to anyone, in any circumstance.
Lastly, white women are the penacle of beauty in America mostly following the Eurocentric paradigm. Black men-THIS is why you outmarry. Socialization economically, and educationally has nothing to do with it because you can check any statistic and Black women on average are climbing the social latter much faster than Black men.
Date who oyou like (when you find out who you are otherwise you become apart of self-hatred which is the problem and not the solution).
Comment by conanld on 29 May 2008:
One of my most fond memories was sitting at a table in the office cafeteria with about 10 beautiful black women. I had become friends with one of them, and so when I saw her sitting there alone at the table I joined her.
Soon all of her black girl friends showed up and sat at that same table with us. I was the only guy at the table, and not only that, I was a white guy with very white skin, but with an exceptional build (so I have been told). This happened about 18 years ago, so it was not a common sight to see back then.
I felt like a celebrity! Here were all these absolutely drop dead gorgeous black women, all of whom individually I though were more attractive than any of the their white female co-workers in the entire building. I was the center of attention at the table. It was wonderful.
The most attractive of them all, was a deep black beauty, who paid particular attention to me. Unfortunately for me, I was already married at the time, otherwise I am absolutely sure that we would have dated, and had a relationship. I probably would have fallen in love with her in a New York second.
Comment by Reena on 29 May 2008:
To the conanld, I just want to say I adore you! That is awesome! Such a shame you could not have experienced the joy an IR (interracial relationship) can bring. Relationships can be difficult at times, but when you go into one with someone of a diffrent race you have to be that much more willing and open. The mere fact that you appreciated a black women’s beauty and considered a relationship with one is awesome enough!
Maybe in the next life you can find another deep dark chocolate to love!!
Comment by Tatiana on 29 May 2008:
i find it a bit strange to “only” date white men, that is a bit extreme, lets face it there are differences between whites and blacks, there is disparity, i have dated white men before, but i wouldnt do it exclusively, there’s something else at the bottom of that.
Comment by Conanld on 30 May 2008:
Reena - hugs & kisses!
Actually, I did have one IR relationship prior to my marriage. At that particular time in my life I was too immature to stand up against my family who threatened to disown me if I did not break it off.
Today, I am absolutely certain that they would feel differently about me having an IR relationship, because things have and are continuing to change.
Comment by kyleth on 1 June 2008:
Apart from racism inherent in our (and every other) society, I find the differences between me and any other races/ethnicities are limited to culture. I feel that the greatest differences between people have to deal with socioeconomic class.
I admit that I’ve dated white men exclusively, and I’m not ashamed. I’m not attracted to black men and I can’t tell you why. There are no stereotypical bad qualities I can spout, because I don’t believe any of it. Even if I were attracted to black men, they don’t approach me anyway. No skin of my nose.
Comment by cocobaker813 on 1 June 2008:
Andre’s comment made me wonder if he didn’t read my earlier post or the posts of quite a few of the ladies on here. I specifically stated “I date men who treat me with respect and is his own person” At this point in my life, it’s happened to be men who aren’t African-American(or Afro Latino, European, Asian, or African). I haven’t met any men of African decent from Australia yet, I’d really love to, though. I have absolutely no problem with my self image, I am a proud African-American woman. I wish more black men would approach me, but they haven’t. The black men I have approached prefer not to talk to me, or I haven’t found him yet. While I do, why is it I have to “wait on him”, as a few have suggested? Just like Swtgurl190 so eloquently put it(I beat you, I’m 38!)a black man has no problem seeing a woman of any color and it’s no big thing for him or his friends. It’s WWIII if a African-American woman dares to step outside the race and not limit herself to such a small pool of potential suitors to find happiness and a possible mate. The strength and assertiveness my fellow sistas have had to maintain is both an asset and a liability in our own communities to some of the men! I’ve sat and watched an African-American man on a nationally syndicated talk show dog black women for wearing weaves/wigs, brightly colored clothes, and colored contacts, while praising Causasian women on their long hair, light eye color and fashion sense, as if white women don’t wear wigs and weaves, colored contact lenses and the season’s trend of bright colors.
I agree that there are some who go outside the race for reasons that aren’t quite legit(more money, more respect, etc)but not every woman who dates nonblack has a self esteem issue.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 2 June 2008:
I am an Italian man who has dated all different races. It’s all based on experience and i’m open to all women but i prefer and date primarily black women. In my opinion there is nothing finer than a strong black woman. Beauty, intelligence, ambition. A sense of strength that i am attracted to based on my own adversities. I grew up with a black sister and a white sister and have been a civil rights activist for 8 years. I have met all women and nomatter the race I have respect for all of you ladies out there. Especially all the ladies here of all race and culture that are strong enough to take a stand and date outside your race to see the true good in people and not just their color.
Keep doin ya’ll thing and God Bless
Chris
Comment by jacbl2 on 4 June 2008:
Wow as I read all the comments above, it makes me appreciate my love for people in general. I am a black woman that literally love all men regardless of their race and if the one I happen to fall in love with is not black, then so be it. It really has nothing to do with the skin color but the connection for me. To be in love is the greatest gift a man or a woman can receive and I would not let the color of one’s skin stop me from receiving my gift. If you think about it, when someone hands you a gift, the outside package is not usually the main focus of you accepting it. (Well of course, if it is a barf bag, I would have an issue) lol Life is too short, live your life and love who you love.
Comment by DallasW on 6 June 2008:
as a black female, white men always seemed more appealing than the black guys. and apparently I act ‘too white.” whats that supposed to mean? just because I dont talk like Ive never had an education. My sister has a child by a white man and she is 3 and he takes good care of her, my brother married an australian woman so allmy life interracial couples were there and i think its a good thing toi.
Comment by allande eyma on 10 June 2008:
Im going to be moving back to NY I want to know what is the best place to hang out if i want to meet a middle age white man . Proffesional tall, and who love kids because i have 2.
thank you
Comment by blkf4realman on 17 June 2008:
My preference has always been white men. It should not matter what race the man you are dating or in love with. The only thing that should matter is that you care and love eachother. Living in the south has its challenges. It is very difficult to meet a white man that is not wanting to know whats it like to be with a black woman. I have to be careful and try to seperate the good guys from the bad. You would think that in this day and time people would allow others to live their lives. Sistas keep your head up and keep reaching for the stars.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 18 June 2008:
That last post was ill. I’m glad to be around positive sistas such as ya selves. Keep doin ya thing ladies.
Comment by Jalen Chase on 19 June 2008:
I’ve read quite a few of the comments posted on this blog and I would like to state my opinion. I am an educated black man. My parents are college graduates, still married and afforded me with a middle class life style growing up. I went to college, graduate school and have a professional job in my field (planning director/administrator). I’ve never been arrested, don’t do drugs, and I have a progressive outlook on life. However, when I read all of these comments on black women only dating white men I feel offended. Granted, I have slept with a large amount of chicks; white, mixed, black, spanish, etc. Nonetheless, I certainly would only be in a committed relationship with a black women. For one, she is the only woman who could provide me with the level of companionship and understanding that I need. Our experiences are similar, particularly as black professionals. I want my children to be born of a black woman, because she is who I am. As a black women, what could a white man give you that a black man couldnt? A vast majority of black men are as smart, good looking, and sucessful as any white man. Whats funny is, while you women date this white man, his family disowns him for dating a black woman, his friends laugh at him for dating a black woman, his reputation becomes jeopardized by dating a black woman. How is that being happy? Someone answer please…
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 19 June 2008:
My man,
You can’t put all white people in a box. I grew up in a very ol’ school Italian neighborhood and very proud of that, but my mom took in a little girl when I was a child and she was black. I grew up eatin’ my Cheerios with my black sister and my white sister and knew no difference. MY godson is from Trinidad and his mother is my best friend in the world. In my lifetime I’ve dated all races and my family has never disowned me, my friends have never laughed at me nor had off color jokes, and my reputation is stronger than most men black or white seeing that i’m a founding member of the Tampa Florida NAACP chapter and civil rights activist. Jus as I may not know the experiences as a black professional I would never put them all in the same category. Tough I am quick to respond I am not dumb. There are situations such as the ones you explain, but please keep an open mind. It’s my generation thats changing this world for the better.
Comment by e-dub on 20 June 2008:
Dear Everyone,
The most intimate and important decision any will ever make in their life is the choice of who they marry. I married my wife because I’m a better person for having her in my life. (Why she consented is still a mystery to me.) I know marrying black woman would make my life more complicated but so what! Friends, family members who offered their ugly opinions about my wife are no friends of mine — marrying a black woman just make it easier to idenitify who really was my friend and more importantly who I wanted as a friend.
If you are lucky enough to find someone you can laugh with, cry with, hold in your arms and wake up next to for sixty years count your blessings and grab that chance when you have it because it might not come around a second time.
The only thing skin color tells you is how much sun screen you need to put on when you go to beach.
Comment by mr.geno on 20 June 2008:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY????? If I want to date/marry a woman outside my race then I WILL!!!!!!! People may give me Hell about it but love is stronger than anything else. I’m not out to “prove” anything or think “black” women are easy. I am genuinely attracted to ALL races and have always wanted to date/marry a woman outside my race especially a “black” woman.
Comment by Jalen Chase on 20 June 2008:
I respect how u fellows feel, but you’re white men. So essentially, you can’t speak on anything but your experiences. You can marry who u want, doesn’t mean its accepted nor that you’ll both be happy in the end. Too many outside tangibles to make things difficult for the both of you, particularly the black woman. I’ve got nothing against interracial dating, but its really unrealistic….. Its unnatural for black women to not have a preference for their own race.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 20 June 2008:
Well, as “unrealistic” and “unnatural” as you make think, this is 2008. E-Dub’s comments are on point.
And who cares about tangibles when you have two people who aren’t afraid to stand up for something knowingly or un-knowingly. I know plenty of interracial couples who have been married for a looooong time. That’s pretty real to a cat like me.
Comment by Jalen Chase on 20 June 2008:
You could probably count all of the successful interracial couples that you know on one hand…..
Pretend all you want, but you know that I speak the truth… Everyone on this blog knows too….
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 20 June 2008:
There you go assuming again. Do you really think an activist of 8 years and a founding NAACP chapter member would only know a small handful of successful interracial relationships? Really now? It’s all good though man, maybe instead of thinking about my experiences you only read them on this blog. I’ve had the opportunity to travel and actually see what I talk about in a broad sense around the states and internationally. In no way is this “pretend”. This is real life and your issue is one that the good people on site’s like these are looking past. Please do not take any of this offensive. I am no “blog bully” as they say. Jus someone who likes a good debate. Keep doin whatchu do.
Comment by Jalen Chase on 20 June 2008:
You haven’t said anything offensive to me, brother. I enjoy a good debate also. I don’t have any issues with any race of people nor interracial relationships, some of my best friends and strongest associates are white; I’m in no way a racist. However, if interracial relationships were so accepted, then why is there a need for a website promoting them… Think about it…..
Comment by mr.geno on 20 June 2008:
I apologize if I’ve offended anyone with my last post about white men dating/marrying black women. All I’m saying is that NOT all of us white men think black women are “easy” and want them for their money. Love is important to me, NOT money. I feel everyone should make their own choices who they want to date/marry.
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 20 June 2008:
Hey fellas, black woman here…:-) First off, don’t worry Mr Geno, I don’t think you offended anyone here, otherwise you would have surely heard about it by now! lol Now on to this topic…. yet again. I agree with Tampa Chris, nothing beats a great debate and this one is very good…:-) Well, actually I agree with Tampa Chris on just about everything and I’m not sure what part of the closed off world Jalen is living in, but it sounds pretty sad to me. I say this because of your earlier comment, your words here…”Granted, I have slept with a large amount of chicks; white, mixed, black, spanish, etc. Nonetheless, I certainly would only be in a committed relationship with a black women.” How sad for that “large amount” of women! I suppose their feelings meant nothing? You really made yourself sound like a keeper and then what, the last part is supposed to be redeeming? Who’s being “unrealistic” here? When I married my ex, a white man (read my earlier comment), he wasn’t disowned by any family members and my kids have the best Grandmother in his Mom that I could have ever hoped for. His two best “white male” friends stood beside him on our wedding day and were genuinely happy for him, for they had known me first. And if anything for quite awhile I made his life more exciting and “colorful” because of who I am, not because of my skin color. Your words again here..”You can marry who u want, doesn’t mean its accepted nor that you’ll both be happy in the end.” This is the truest thing you’ve said yet and the only thing I agree with, but you know what? It’s true for black couples too, it’s the truth for everyone, no matter the color…:-)
Comment by e-dub on 20 June 2008:
No one is saying crossing the racil divide is easy nor would I recommend it for everyone. It can be hard a road and you better be prepared to take a few extra slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Personally, I’ve been fired once and quit once because of my “uppity” black wife — so be it. I don’t regret the decision one little bit.
We may not have skin color in common but both of our dads grew up poor in the south and left home early to join the military. We grew as military brats and have been dragged from pillar to post. Trust me, we understand each other. (She understands me too well!)
I didn’t plan on marrying a black woman. It just happened and I’m grateful everyday.
In August, We going to party for black/white couples to celebrate a 40th anniversary. There are going to be sixteen couples who have been married between four years and forty. It can work — it does work. No marriage is easy (the fact that the wife hasn’t buried me in the back yard for forgetting our tenth wedding anniversary amazes me) It won’t be easy but if there is a better way to pull our country together on the subject of race, I have yet to hear it.
Comment by wyrwulf69 on 22 June 2008:
as an african american male i have seen my brothers and sisters go white as a way of somehow becoming upwardly mobile.when they are out and about with there white man/woman they tend to look down upon other black people.to me this is sad because the only reason they are with that white person is because they think that it makes them superior and part of the in crowd or some other foolishness.most times the white person in the relationship is a lot more down to earth than the their black lovers.i say this to all of you sisters and brothers who are in an interacial relationship.make sure you are in it for love and not to bolster your lack of self esteem. love for the sake of love and not because you think it will elevate your social status, that would be shallow and pathetic……..peace and love to all of you.
Comment by poetlove on 22 June 2008:
I think you really should like someone for who they are not what color they are. I’ve predominantly dated sisters, a few spanish, and asian and one white. The best relationships have been with sisters but that’s what I was raised by and around. Even going to affluent high school the sisters just attracted me more
Comment by mr.geno on 22 June 2008:
Thank You for your comment poetlove. I absolutely agree with you 100%. I didn’t mean to make it sound as tho’ I wanted to date/marry a woman just because of her race. There are good and bad off ALL races. Personality comes 1st. Just because I’m white doesn’t mean I’ll only date/marry a white woman. If she has an attitude forget it!!!!!
Comment by mr.geno on 22 June 2008:
wyrwulf, it applies to ALL races. I’ve seen/known white women who do the same thing. They look at us white men like we’re nothing when they’re with a man of a different race. You have a good point–make sure you’re in it for love.
Comment by missthang100 on 22 June 2008:
I have only one statement to state:
“Love with your eyes closed and your heart and ears opened. Whomever that you come in contact with that gives you that warm feeling and that makes you smile is the person for you.”
Comment by mr.geno on 23 June 2008:
missthang101 I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Comment by woman2 on 23 June 2008:
To missthang100
You’re so right. I have loved with my eyes closed and my heart and ears were speaking volumes. I felt the warmth and I smiled deeply. I love him and he loves me. Now, he is gone because I was afraid. We both were afraid of this kind of love.
Comment by Reena on 23 June 2008:
Jalen -
Um you said you are educated???? Sorry I don’t see it…
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 July 2008:
Dear Author
You and your sellout black women ilk make me sick. Once again another blog kissing the white man’s toes. That is why your proud to “date several white men’. Getting passed around with no commitment by white men but I know for a fact you won’t talk about. Then you promote this image of a white man sweeping “Tameka” away to a suburban white neighborhood where she can fit in with the “white soccer moms”. Your pathetic just like your sellout readers that bow their head for a white man.
Then on top of that you got the nerve to bash black men. A white man spits in your face you ignore it or do not say anything. I guess your trying conform to society so a “potential” white man does not see you ‘angry” or whatever stereotypes they promote.
Keep “dancing and showing your teeth for a white boyfriend” Then maybe one will pat you on the head and commit to you.
Sincerely
Mr Laurelton Queens
Comment by poetlove on 5 July 2008:
Wow on one hand I agree and on the other i’m like damn. I do feel that sister who exclusively date white guys unfairly judge all black men. Trying to conform or appease another race damn sure shouldn’t be the reason you date someone of another race either. Only date someone if you find them extremely attractive and mentally engaging. Anything else would be uncivilized. I have first hand seen the black girl that only dates white guys turn into the group slut. Being an entertainer I have walked in the back room or writing workshop and see a black girl orally servicing one by one more than 7 whit guys. When I pulled her aside she stated she started dating one of the shows writers. Now she’s just passed back and forth for room and board basically. By a lot influential people in spoken word and theatre. So don’t become that person all on the persona of fitting in or conforming. Date someone cause your heart tells you and not society.
Comment by mr.geno on 8 July 2008:
To newyorkgirl–That is NOT entirely true. Black men love White women because of their fair skin, blonde hair & blue eyes. What about White men who hate seeing a White women with black men? HUH?!?!?!?!
Comment by newyorkgirl on 8 July 2008:
Mr. Geno. My first response did not make it through- but the bulk of it was that you are going off on two very different topics. Please re-read my post and see the topics on which I commented. I am well aware of the reasons why Black men prefer white women and I am well aware of how some white men feel about white females dating non-whites. BUT that is irrelevant to my post. White women are status symbols and Asian women are “in.” The truth is the truth.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 8 July 2008:
I don’t think it carries the same feeling that America’s history has brought onto us to see a White woman with a Black man. I think the sensitivity of the issue is more so seeing a White man with a Black woman due to the insecurities and inconsistencies of a black men in constant competition in a prodominantly white society. I think if anything, Black women are justified to be upset with Black males who prefer White women because as a woman, who is the base for family, they can feel inadequate to other women especially that of a different race. All in all the blood I bleed you bleed so we all the same. The key is that everyone needs some church in they lives and you know that love thy neighbor is bond.
much love
Comment by Conanld on 10 July 2008:
It’s a shame that a few racists try to ruin this web site for everybody else, by projecting their hate and distain onto others, and that is exactly what it is – a projection.
For you racists, if you don’t know the meaning of that word, then I suggest that you do yourself a great big favor and look it up in the dictionary, and then after that, take a real hard look in the mirror.
With a little follow-through, there still may be hope for you, but you’ve got a lot of work to do, so you’d better get to it.
Comment by seancarter03 on 10 July 2008:
This would be the fourth blog I’m replying to on here and I have to say we as PEOPLE are so interesting. We in so many ways look for what separates from one another rather than what we have in common. Like where Jalen made the comment that it was natural for blacks to be with blacks and only blacks, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Take a trip outside of the U.S. and see how much more it takes to make a connection other than race. I commend people on here like Mr Geno and Tampa Chris you guys had a lot of insightful things to add and I always find it interesting to see a white guy’s perspective on interracial dating since a lot of the people I know who don’t date outside of their race. As for some of the people who make ridiculous and racist comments please grow up, you know that this site was designed and made for the people who enjoy interracial relationships. Is it even logical to be shocked and annoyed that people on here like and want to date outside of their race. I know that a lot of us have a lot of pain when it comes to race, in particular us as “black” people but we have got to let it go and move forward. Race is a social construct designed for the sole purpose to divide the poor and middle class so they don’t notice how the rich and powerful are screwing them over. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!! We as human beings have a lot better things to pay attention to. I think as long as a relationship is between two consenting adults it should be honored as just that. Stop making other people’s relationship a representation of what you think the world has to be for you. If a black woman dates a white man with the hopes of becoming more socially mobile, how in the world does that concern you unless you want her and then man up and go after but if thats not the case then let them live their lives for GOD sake. If a black guy wants to date a white girl because he thinks shes more submissive and will let him get away with anything then thats there business unless you are a friend of that white girl and see that her man is taking advantage then be a friend and say something but other than that we are all adults and should be free to pursue whatever believe will make us happy and content. It might not work out the way we want it to or maybe it might but it should be our choice to make. When a guy dates only skinny women or a woman dates only tall men no one has anything to say or if they do its quickly dismissed as someone being a “hater”, I just have such a hard time with people taking up so much of their precious energy and time and focusing on things like this.
By the way I notice way too often we refer to only black people as brothers and sisters but lets keep it real all the people who have treated us like family have not only been black. I have sisters and brothers of all races.
I hope you guys appreciate my words, I love reading yours.
Comment by seancarter03 on 10 July 2008:
I also had to reply to Jalen because a lot of what he said was interesting to me. First of all I have to back him up on dating a lot of different women because I noticed one woman thought of it as something to be repulsed by but news flash sweetheart many if not most American men like to test the waters with a lot of different chicks before deciding to settle down with one and not every woman is looking for Mr Right at every single point in their life, sometimes they just want Mr Right Now and there is nothing with that as long as you don’t get someone’s hopes up. In dating there are no victims, we all make our own beds. As far as what he said about black women finding someone of their own race. Lets look at the numbers here, a large chunk of our men are either in prison or unmotivated and I can say this because I pay attention. Besides if any person can find someone who fulfills them, should they take a color check and if the person doesn’t match they should throw it away in hopes that they find something more to someone else’s liking. Brother are you crazy? You sound educated and tell me what part of that sounds remotely logical? As far as what it does to your reputation and what it does to your relationships with people, first off the people who truly love you will not take the decisions you make for yourself so personally that they will disown you and if they do it was probably a good thing you see their true colors because no one needs to be around people who keep them on a short leash. For the record for everyone who is African American reading this and who believe that we should stick with our own please stop pretending that we don’t have our own prejudices. I as a dark skinned black man have had more negativity thrown at me from black women during the first year of middle school than the rest of my life combined, so don’t make race on race dating sound like its perfection. We have so many hang ups about skin tone, I had a light skinned girls mother actually say in front of me don’t you think you might be happier with someone closer to your skin tone the babies will come out prettier. So any relationship can have its fair share of hardships, it just comes down to whether or not are you brave enough to accept love from where ever it comes from.
HOW ARE MORE PEOPLE IN LOVE A BAD THING? HOW DOES THAT HARM ANY OF US IF TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER FIND EACH OTHER AND WANT TO BE TOGETHER?
Comment by new2thegame on 14 July 2008:
I’ve been reading this blog for about a month or so but I never jumped in the conversation. What’s making me jump in now…I don’t know. I guess it’s because I’m starting a new dating ritual of my own and that’s actively seeking white men to date. I say actively seeking because before I never had a problem dating white men. It’s just that lots of white men never seriously approached me in social settings. Most of the times that white men showed interest in me it was when we met and got to know each other in business settings…and being in corporate america that can get sticky with any man for fear of the whole sexual harrassment. I think one of the main reasons you don’t see more bw/wm couples is that although a lot of wm find bw interesting I think many are scared to approach us. They don’t know if when they approach us if we will be one of the open minded bw who is interested or if we’ll give them some crazy look that says “I can’t believe this wm is hitting on me”. I think it’s hard enough for men to stick their neck out and get rejected…the whole bw/wm thing is just another added risk. I live in CA so interracial dating is fairly common although the majority is bm with other races. A bw/wm still gets a few looks. Strange…I never expected bm to get so upset about it. Also now it seems I have some bw friends living vicariously through me. Once I started telling my girls of my new dating habits the truth started coming out. Trust me a lot of bw want to dip over to the other side but they don’t want deal with all the bull from all the haters out there…and there are plenty. I’m not saying I’ll never date a black man again, but right now at this time in my life I’m finding a lot more wm in which I have more things in common with and share my values and interest on things that are important to me. It’s sad because in some ways I feel like I’m growing apart from a huge portion of the bm population. I never use to buy into the whole black man shortage thing but I think that was because I aways had a man and even when I was coupled up I would still get hit on by what I considered good bm. So I just assumed there wasn’t a shortage. But about a year ago I started paying more attention to things and I would notice that whenever I was out at the movies, dinner, concerts and other places there was always a bunch of bw girlfriends out together…manless. Even at the parks and beaches you would see black families with a bunch of women, the kids and only like 2 bm. I love to travel internationally and bm are missing from this picture as well. Now I know someone on this blog is going to come along and try and blast me and say I’m sterotyping brothas, or generalizing, but that’s not my intent. Me dating wm more now at this point in my life is a personal decision. I’m all about choices. The more I have to choose from the better I feel that I’ll find a good man. I think bm are going to be shocked in the next years to come at how many bw start dating wm. A lot of bm think they have a lock on the bw. In our society men are still primarily the pursuers of women. Once more bw start openly confessing they’re open to dating wm then I think more wm will pursue bw. Seeing it on TV will also make more folks more comfortable. I think it’s a good thing because love is hard to find period . Even harder when you rule out 88% percent of the population. That’s what bw do when they refuse to consider dating outside of their race.
Comment by poetlove on 14 July 2008:
new2thegame I will say you are speaking on persoanl observations and choices, but also generalized observations. I often get that as the answer from bw who choose to venture something to the effect of “y’all do it” or “black men don’t act right”. I pose the question where are you meeting your black men at? If you meet somebody in an unsavory place nine times out of ten he’ll be an unsavory person. That goes for any race. As for the future yes i’m sure there will be more bw venturing. That also doesn’t mean there won’t be sisters not turning away from their brothers. I just don’t get the whole I’m at a time in my life where I only want to date wm thing. If anything that’s narrowing your field considerably also. Maybe not monetary but compatibility wise i’m sure of it.
Comment by new2thegame on 14 July 2008:
poetlove, I actually never had any terrible experiences with bm. I’m definitely not one of those women who are mad at bm. So that’s why my new approach isn’t an exclusion of bm, but instead more of an inclusion of wm. As far as the comment that I give up higher chances of compatibility with wm…well that’s where we may differ in opinion. I think that’s the mistake a lot of people make in thinking that one’s race is such a dominant and overwhelming force in our personality. As if sharing the same race trumps everything else about you. If you think about it how many of the things you do and enjoy in your everyday life are things done just by someone of your own race. Race makes up a part of who we are…it doesn’t define
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 14 July 2008:
What’s up all? As usual, love the input. Much respect to everyone. Jus wanted to let everyone know that CNN is doing a special on the 23rd and 24th called “Black In America.” They will be taking on many issues one of which is interracial dating and marriage. Check it out.
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 15 July 2008:
I believe Seancarter that you were referring to me in regards to the Jalen topic on dating many women. You may have mis-read my meaning, I’m not repulsed that he’s dated many women, I’ve dated many men. I can’t even say that I was repulsed at all by his words, but I do find it sad that these women are ok to sleep with but the whole time you have this mentality that you can’t be in a committed relationhp with them solely based on their race. I can’t see many women being ok with that, even if he’s just Mr. Right Now. So, I appreciate what you’re saying (in his defense) if that was the way my words were meant, but they were not.
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 15 July 2008:
One other little thing, we’re all adults here, so we all know that indeed there are victims in dating. Especially when people are not honest or straight-forward and there are quite a few dishonest men AND women out there. I doubt that he was going in saying to these women “Just so you know, this is just about a good time, because since you’re not black it’s not gonna go any further.” And just so I don’t get beat up here, I know that there are quite a few honest and straight-forward men AND women out there as well…:-)
Comment by DJTEEL on 20 July 2008:
i find some black girls attractive but i absolutely hatetodays black music…al of it..rap,hip hop,r&b and the like.i can’t even stand to lsiten to it for justa few minutes. and every black girl i’ve ever met is naturally into the black music.i listen to rock.country and anythig else but black music.so i’ve not ben very motivated to date the black girls i’ve met that i find attractive/.
Comment by lely on 27 July 2008:
me myself i am a black 20yr old african leaving in the UK, i have only dated one black man and i did not like him that much, av always liked white men i stated dating since i was 15yrs and at a age like that love never gets serious, i just turned 20 and i got sick of on and off relationships. one day we planned going out for a meal with few of my friends, it was a saturday night i wasnt in a mood of going out at all but i had to due to the fact that i could not let my friends down, i had a normall dress and never had make up on, two white men were sitting at our next table, i was not so concernd about them, i stood up going to order for a drink, one of the man came up to me and he sayed hallow!! i replyed hallow back, he asked if it was okey for them sitting along with us, and i sayed it was okey, we talked and he asked if i was single and i replied yes and luckly he was too, he bought us more and more drinks and dinner, at the end he asked if we had any plans for the rest of the night and we all sayed we dont have no plans, he offerd taking us at a night club just around that place, we had fun, at the end he told me that i was beautifull and kind, i liked him since the time i sat next to him, he gave me his number and i text him the next morning on sunday, he calld me and asked if we could meet up for lunch and sayed okey.. the next day he rung me again on a monday we talked for nearly 2hrs and we met again on tuesday for dinner, aswell as friday… i called him on saturday night and spent a night at his house, he took me home the next day.. i text him on that same day and he never replied me back, i was so upset as i liked him just for that one week. i was at work on the tuesday morning at around 10:30 and i received as flowers from him and a note saying (I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE AND IT IS DIFFICULT TO HIDE THE FEELINGS AV GOT. PLEASE BRENDA MARRY ME), yours andrew. i was happy but for a second i thought, why he never texts me back or even call, i had my phone and called him.. he said he was shy of telling me how he felt, i told him i liked him too so much.. we met up again that night and the following day and i grew up loving him for just the one week and a half, we meet up again on saturday telling me he had something for me, i dressed up well and amazing, he hold my hands tiet and asked if he would marry me, he took a lovely golden diamond ring from his pockets and asked me twice if i could marry him, and i sayed YES, the next day i rung my parents and told them everything, i meet his parents on a monday that week and they really liked me, my parents and my two brothers had to fly from africa to england on thursday that week… and we got married a week after. i know have a 4month little boy and our love is getting strong and stronger each day.
Comment by naturalcd on 3 August 2008:
Congrats lely, many wishes to you.
I had a roommate who was only into dating white men. She said that she did not like black men and thought that white men were more cultured. I rolled my eyes and kept it moving.
I wrote in another post that I have experienced bad relationships with both white and black men. Which left me wondering what race I would end up with lol. I’m not sure if I would stop dating black men if I had only experienced bad relationships with them and not with white men…but I know that I wasn’t particularly looking for a white man to date then eventually marry. It just happened. And, the guy I’m with, I’m the first black woman he has dated lol so this is a new experience for both of us. He just told me that he loved my smile and personality, and I fell in love with his kind and considerate soul. Someone here said you like who you like. I’m not getting hung up on the fact that I date white men because all black men are-fill in the blank. I am so not into putting my race down to justify me dating out. There are good and bad black, white, purple, polka dotted men, and good/bad black, white, purple, polka dotted baby daddys…well, you get the picture.
I’m not quite sure why there are sistas out there who only date white men, you would probably have to ask each individual and not try to make blanket statements. Every single person has their own motive for dating out, whether it’s good or bad is left to be seen.
Comment by cheygirl6 on 3 August 2008:
White men are HOTT!….and I just mesh with them better. I feel more at ease, comfortable and just seem to have more overall compatibilty with them.
While there are plenty of attractive black men, I’m just not attracted TO them.(sexually/physically)
I certainly wish that this weren’t the case, for my pool of potential mates would probably triple. But what sense would it make to try and date someone that you have no physical/sexual attraction for?
In the past, I actually opened myself to date black men but again their was no “spark”. There’s just no attraction.
Well at least I tried!
Comment by phatkitty on 6 August 2008:
THIS IS TO MR. LAURELTON QUEENS, YOU MY GOOD SIR, SEEM PRETTY ANGRY-I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT WOULD GARNER SUCH A RESPONSE FROM U. I HONESTLY WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 6 August 2008:
Dear Phatkity
I am not angry, actually I am at work right now. But I had to respond real fast. It bothers me black women bash black men to justify dating white men. From blogs to magazines and movies. I guess it is fashionable to do so. When you attack them back then your the insensitive one.
This blog is rather tame compared to most but some sellout black women hate themselves and their skin color. For all the negatives black men have. White men are not marrying sellout black women at a rapid rate. The perception can be different when your on a blog showing celebrity pictures but that is a fact.
I am giving my perspective as a 29 year old black man from New York City. Bottom line if you want to be a sellout stop thinking the world revolves around you and stop doing TV specials about how “single and accomplished you are” but can’t find a black man on your level.
I graduated college, I actually think that is bullshit because black women are intimidated by college educated black men that’s why they say ” Oh your with a white woman I bet”. I think they are better off with an emasculated white man if you ask me.
Sincerely
Me
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 6 August 2008:
I am back again
I just could not resist. I saw CNN’s “To be on crack in Black America”. Simply amazing they would air the black community dirty laundry for ratings. Even the sellout black girl with her white husband in one segment. She threw her white husband’s family “under the bus”. She said his white family did not want “black blood in their family”. All her white husband could say is ” Yea well they came around no big deal”. NO BIG DEAL, jesus that is why I say some black women are desperate.
If a white family does not accept you, yet you continue to force yourself upon a white man’s family your a disgrace. Where exactly is your pride and dignity. By the way I am not through with CNN the host Soledad , she is biracial but married to a white man but she is the authority on the black community but hasn’t been there in years. In the segment she has the nerve to ask another “Black woman” why she had so many kids. The funny thing is the Host of CNN got like 5 kids herself! I guess cause their father is white it’s acceptable.
When a black woman has several kids it is a negative stigma of some sort. The black male shortage is a myth, there are more black men in college and the workplace than what the media says.
These sellout black women bloggers just want to sell books, magazines and make movies promoting their so called victimization. But you know what nobody will ever respect a sellout. I am for the black family because I was raised in a 2 parent home christian family. I refuse to be a sellout simply because you can’t find “the right person”. Maybe your not the right person, maybe you need to change things about yourself before you blame black men.
I am gone
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 6 August 2008:
Mr. Laurelton makes good points, but I still thinks its such a broad topic b/c of so many peoples different experiences that it can’t be summed up in just his explanation NOR the CNN “Black in America.” I did watch the program and I honestly thought they did a fairly decent job in terms of getting to the whole unity thing with the old lady and the family reunion, but I’ve been dating sistas since forever and I agree wit Laurelton, that on the interracial couple. That was kinda whack. But I have had some family members(who are old) who don’t approve but F’em. Like that white dude, I don’t care because at the end of the day its who I Love and its just me and my lady. As long as she gets the respect she deserves (black, white, spotted, striped, whatever) its all good.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 6 August 2008:
Dear Tampa Chris
I feel you on that by the way I use to live in Orlando Florida. Came back to New York City but that CNN ” To be on Crack in Black America”. They just seem to go out of their way to make black people look bad. Why people have to tell you to put a “shirt” on, the little homey would have got smacked up side his head by my pops. I was raised strict, I did run the streets but reality set in after my 20th year in high school lol. Grown ass man in high school I decided this is not cool. I went on to get my College Degree though a B.S in Criminology/Sociology.
I guess I am from a different era and I am 29 years old we just don’t air out our dirty laundry on television. At what point do you say look we are exploiting people here. Like the black woman with the 5 kids, that little jerk CNN sound man all up her business because she was about be evicted. Clearly she did not want that shit on camera.
But you see I hope this opens the eyes of these nappy headed sellout black women running around worshiping the white man as the solution to their problems. I got nothing against white men, my thing is stop making it seem like he is going to save the world like OBAMA.
I will never forget what this white man told me. He was formerly married to a sellout black girl. He said Laurelton they “hate you , they hate me, their just angry” You know what they are “programmed to fail”! At first I was like white boy talking crazy again. Then I realized yea they are “programmed to fail”. Why is out of all races of women, the biggest complaints are about black women. I don’t care if your not a black man. I heard it from all races of men but you see they won’t say nothing.
Me I will tell the truth period. Black women bloggers black balled me for a reason.
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 6 August 2008:
Sounds like someone has some anger issues to deal with
You can’t stereotype all black women that date outside of their race by the few. I have no issues with myself, my color or with black men and I am definitely not intimidated by an educated black man or by anyone for that matter. I say “More power to him!”, it makes his plight that much easier. I’m originally from Bklyn, NY, raised in a 2 parent Black Christian family as well and believe me when I say that I don’t feel like a sell out for having married a white man. That just happens to be who I fell in love with and I could care less how “some ignorant” people view me.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 6 August 2008:
The different era idea holds completely true. Mentalities that we have are directly through experience. I’m experiencing young 20-23 yr old black women and you are experiencing I imagine 28 and up. That small age gap alone has a great impact on our past history concerning race relations. I mean just think, in just forty some odd years we have to give some credit to how far we’ve come since SEGREGATION.(I know, I know not EVEN close to perfect but,) I mean, just recently we all wouldn’t have even been able to sit on this site and talk about this, let alone drink at freakin’ water fountain or worship in a church or the list goes on and on of bullshit rules. I think your generation and mine are going to obviously go through these debates for some time. But do keep in mind, we are THEE crucial element in THESE years thats going towards the betterment of our societies futures especially for our children. Just imagine 100 years from now. I’m hoping no one will even worry about a “sell-out black woman/man” What would happen if you met the most unbelievable white/asian/indian woman? There will be people who hate on you constantly. I imagine your love will out-weigh your peers notions because, well, they’re just ideas and opinions.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 6 August 2008:
P.S. HOLLABACK NY and the North. I’m from up north originally but ran from the cold weather.
Comment by mamisabrosa on 7 August 2008:
Why do we black women need Don Imus when we have Mr.Laurelton to insult us by calling us “nappy-headed” and “programmed to fail”? You are 29 years old and I know that you think you are “good and grown”, but you have a lot of growing up and self-introspection to do. The things that you have said about black women are cruel and terribly misplaced. I am a 39 year old beautiful successful lawyer who had never dated “outside my race” until two years ago when logic and love opened my eyes. Love is a powerful thing.
Comment by virgo66 on 7 August 2008:
The bottom line is…instead of this person & that person hating on each other because she’s w/him or he’s w/her & that couple doesn’t look like you….GET OVER IT! As long as you live a life of respect, love & caring, your life will come w/rewards you never dreamed of. But, if you spend your time disrespecting, insulting & keeping others down…you’ll never be the human being you were meant to be.
Your life will never be fulfilled & you are destined to pass that hate & negativity on to generation after generation. Get your life in order people! Because the people you’re hating on are living theirs to the fullest!!!
Comment by dcnot on 8 August 2008:
first off im not ab 2 write this like a term paper and im saying tht cuz on some forums ppl like 2 talk shit when u dont speak like this “I saw a dog, it was beautiful.” meaning all proper this is the internet so i am lazy when i type… sorry 4 the rant. im a black man and i think there is nothing wrong with interracial but it depends like it is one thing 2 happen 2 b dating some1 of another race its another 2 go looking 4 another race. i feel ppl like 2 use alot of cop outs like u will have a black man/woman say i dont find black men/women attractive which mean u dont find urself attractive due 2 the fact tht ur apart of tht race whether u like it or not. i also hate ppl tht use the i grew up around blank mostly thts y i find them attractiv, tht is bs i went 2 majority white catholic private schools all but 1 year (my senior year of high school) and i have a lot of white friends tht dont mean i dont want 2 date a strong black woman. ppl like 2 use the word preference like some sort of shield a lot of times ur preference should b attractive ppl not white,black w/e else. im not 1 of those black men tht bring up slavery 4 everything but this is 1 of the cases i have 2 white ppl r seen as the most attractive 4 the most part due 2 colonialism and conquering other ppl causing a superiority complex and inferior complex amongst ppl which still carries on 2day. ex: notice lighter is considered the right thing 2 date especially places where whites conquered. im a lightskinned 19 year old black man and i think 1 of the key reasons the black race is so attractive is due 2 the way color varies. i remember reading a article ab rapper young berg saying he dont date women darker than him (some call tht preference i call it cop out) he called darker black women dark butts which is highly offensive. i also hate the whole proffesional man/woman cop out ppl use its 1 thing 2 not date underachievers its another 2 date some1 based solely on whether there on ur financial level. dont get me wrong i want a black woman(tht dont mean i wont marry others but i feel u should b content with ur own race) with degrees becuz i plan on having degrees n my life but tht dont mean i wont marry a black woman who bust her ass at a blue collar job.also another thing ppl dont seem 2 realize is interracial couples effect blacks more and minority’s more than whites due 2 population size. if ever person n every minority married a white person there would still b 100 million+ whites n th US left over but no more minioritys. 2nd off i hate the term mixed becuz most americans white black etc r mixed the white slaveowner great great w/e grandad of mine had a white wife and family 2 which would b distant cousins. n the US the term mixed gets used wrong like this 4 ex: ppl tht say they r half white half black 1 of 3 things is true ab this statement 1. u r half white genetically but ur not half black genetically 2. u r half black genetically but u r not half white genetically 3. ur neither half white or black and have something else n u. 95 % of black americans r mixed racially the other 5% r mixed ethnically like differnet tribes from africa. 2 different articles i read said significant amounts of whites have black blood (means they r black by one drop rule definition) 1 article said 1/3 of white americans have black ancestry 2 some degree the 2nd article said 50million+ whites have black blood 2 some extent. the US has hella problems with race and ethnicity tht will not b solved ne time soon (interracial dating will neither hurt tis or help this) like black americans (not the mono racial group from africa which r not all black as hell like the media potrays amny r lightskinned and have no admixture whatsoever) r still the biggest ethnic group n the US despite wht the media potrays. latino is a bs ethnic group becuz ethincity deals with ur country u come from so technically we’re all american but if u did want 2 use ethnicity 2 differentiate groups then latino is still not a country colombian american and venezuelan american r ethnic gropus not latino. also latino gets used incorrectly if it were used right latinos would b the majority n the US nopt white ppl. a latino is ne1 who speaks (or has decent) a romantic language a romantic language is ne language derived from latin, if u speak molodivian, french, spanish, italian, romanian, or portuguese u r latino. im sorry 4 the rant but i felt like this was a good issue 2 bring up problems tht deal with race period.
Comment by dcnot on 8 August 2008:
also u have black white asian hispanics and latinos there is a difference hispanic and latino r not interchangeable if u speak spanish u r hispanic and latino. if u speak ne other language i mentioned ur just latino
Comment by dcnot on 8 August 2008:
1 more thing it has always been taboo for ppl 2 date outside there ethni or racial group the only difference is with men its taboo but exceptable with women it is taboo and unexceptable. alot of blck men dont like black women dating white men becuz they want things like white men used 2 have it back n the white men would have a white wife but would have girlfriends on the side who were different races a lot of black men want tht they want there ice cream and cake 2.
Comment by dcnot on 8 August 2008:
i meant 2say with men it is viewed as taboo but exceptable with women it is viewed as taboo and unacceptable
Comment by Ms.Tingle on 11 August 2008:
I have never dated white men before, but lately I have realized that I have been limiting myself by being a little close minded, so I am open to all races including white men who I have often found attractive but did nothing about it.
I do have friends who are wealthy black professionals who feel that the pool of men is limited in their social circles to just white men.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 August 2008:
Dear Potential sellout black women.
There is no limited pool, it is limited when you want to date a rich man. Their are plenty of blue collar black man that work hard everyday. Instead your so self absorbed in your lives and career that you make blanket statements alluding to a black male shortage. The simple fact is you do not put yourself in a position to meet these men. Instead you feel the white man will come down and sweep you off your feet like the white washed “lifetime” special you constantly watch all the time.
It does not matter who you date if your think men are supposed to worship you just because you have a degree than your dating experience is going to continue to be tough. Stop watching television and the media there is plenty of black men to date. These bitter lonely sellout black women are promoting this failed agenda.
Comment by cheygirl6 on 11 August 2008:
MR. LAURELTON!!!……………………………
Blue collar men ARE HOT!! I’m a blue collar gal myself.
I’m a bus mechanic.
Seems that a lot of women don’t go for that anymore these days. What happened to “I love a man in uniform!”?
Mr Laurelton? Sounds like you’re the only bitter one here.
You feel as if you’re bashed by black women or whoever?
Well suck it the f*ck up!
Quit your self loathing. If you know that the negative connatations don’t apply to you then get over!
As I’ve mentioned, I’m a bus mechanic. Yes, a bus mechanic!! I work side by side with big husky men all day… the first and ONLY women in this garage.I pull engines,transmissions front and rear axles out of these 12,000 lbs vehicles for a living.
This job takes a lot of physical and mental fortitude. I break nails, bust knuckles, get covered in grease and dirt all day just as they do and despite being a great mechanic, my abilties are ALWAYS second guessed simply because I’m a female. I’m like a side show at work. If they’re not starring at my a**,they’re questioning my abilities as a mechanic, if not that,they’re gossiping about who’s gonna be the first guy who’d get to “hit it”. I’m subjected to a bunch of loud cursing, the guys spreading rumors that they went out with me, the aleination(I’m a mechanic but I’m not “one of the guys”)the jealous attitudes because I can do my job just as well as they can. They are all waiting to see me fail.
I wear my pink nail polish when I go to work to pronounce the fact that I AM FEMALE AND I CAN STILL DO MY JOB!!! It’s a blow to their male egos and they let me know in so many ways that they don’t like it!!…EVERYDAY!!!
My point to you, Mr. Laurelton is if I can suck this all up and still MAINTAIN my dignity and femininity then you too need to suck it up and maintain your integrity and manhood. QUIT YOUR B*THCHIN! and stop slinging mud..”sell out black women” , Nappy head”.
One thing I can’t stand is a whiny, self loathing man OF ANY RACE!! I have to suck up the predjudice as a black person AND a woman both AT WORK AND in society in general. But I hold my head up and prevail while maintaining my integrity. Oddly enough it’s the guys at work who complain when they have to do extra work.lol despit all that i go through at work, you will never hear them say that i complain or that I try to get them to do my work. Ironically, they hate that too!
GROW A PAIR!!!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 12 August 2008:
Dear Cheygirl
I assure you before I worked in the “IT” Field I was working in a Sears inventory and various other tough fields I was even a bus driver and taxi driver for awhile. I did what I had to do, I really don’t know what that has to do with interracial dating.
As for the Nappy head comment , Imus was agreeing with Bernie (his sidekick said that comment). Then he said it was a word he heard in the black community. Considering Imus “sidekick” said he grew up in the “hood” with other races which includes black women. Why is it a shock when that word is said? But yet your outraged by me saying it.
Secondly you say I am bitter or self loathing. I think that you have a personal problem with the men around you that don’t respect what you do so your taking it out on me. The finger nail comment and all these things as if to say ” I am a woman” look at what I am going through just to do this job.
I respect what you do, but you don’t respect what I do. “Growing a pair” is when you think for yourself and not like how everybody else thinks in society. If we all thought alike, you wouldn’t be working as a mechanic among men now would you?
You said you have suffered prejudice and sexism at work. Yet you want to date white men but your upset at me. Girl wash the grease out of your hair and get a clue.
Good day to you
Comment by cheygirl6 on 12 August 2008:
I love the fact that I am a mechanic. I took on a job that the average woman wouldn’t even dream of doing.
My issue with you is NOT the topic in which you’re angry about but the fact that you are so bitter and insulting as a result of it.
I’m addressing your anger not the issue of interracial dating.
It’s the BITTERNESS AND ANGER I have a problem with. The topic in which you’re complaining about is rather stale and corny….WE’VE ALL HEARD IT BEFORE!
The guys at work, yes they suck; they have a problem with me because they have a problem with themselves first. They bitch and moan all day long just as you are and I hate to see men behaving this way especially when I as a woman AND a black person have twice as much predjudice to cope with in this world but it’s always the men(of all races) complaining about some social injustice towards them.
In certain situations I feel that a man should be stronger than a woman. When I see otherwise it’s very disappointing.
“Grow a pair” meaning that you need to focus your energy on coping with your issues. Your insulting comments makes your integrity and maturity questionable.
Defend your honor as a MAN first by acting like one THEN you can defend your honor as a “good BLACK man” second.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 13 August 2008:
Dear Cheygirl
It seems like your the one that is bitter and angry. You mention the obstacles you go through at your profession and all this “feminist” whining. I am the most content man you will meet. You said “yourself” that white men have been racist to you. Yet you are on an interracial board like I am worrying about my comments. I welcome that but I realize I am on an “interracial board”.
You said your addressing my anger with “anger” of your own which makes perfect sense to me. But that is to assume I am angry in the first place.
Then you said in certain situations a “man should be stronger than a woman”. I really do not know what you mean by that. You want to be treated equal at the workplace but can admit men “are stronger than you” in certain situations.
As for social injustices, I do not get political here I talk about interracial dating and “what is wrong with this idea”. I don’t care about black militants, I don’t care much for politics, I am not here to be “pro black” even though I am a black man.
I don’t need to defend my honor because I have never been a sellout. I got the integrity to date black women within my own race. While others bash their “OWN” race of men to justify dating inter racially.
Tell sellout black women to grow a “pair” when you can’t find a man within your own race. Then choose white men as ’second place” to resolve your dating desperation. Because in the end that is all it is.
I would hate to be “second choice” PERIOD!
Comment by pookie11593 on 13 August 2008:
Hey Cheygirl6 I just have to give you kiddos on your comment.
Comment by cheygirl6 on 13 August 2008:
Thanks, Pookie.
As for this debate…..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Comment by DadsLilGirl on 14 August 2008:
Dear Mr Laurelton Queens:
This is an interesting debate, but I’m confused.
Are you a black man on an interracial dating site trying to date black women that you deem as sellouts?
Are you a black man on an interracial dating site interested in dating outside your race but feels the need to slam black women to justify your choice?
Are you a black man on an interracial dating site looking for a black woman that’s attracted to your “black women are sellout” compliments.
I’m confused!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 14 August 2008:
Dear DadsLilGirl
I am not on this board to date anybody. I just find the debate and blog interesting. There seems to be more freedom of speech here compared to other “sellout black women blogs” that I am an avid reader of. As for my personal life yes I have met sellout black women in the “closet”. They seem to reluctant to tell black men like “sometimes” that they have been with white men. In some cases some say their are searching for a white man to date but seem focused on black men with “white women.
As for me dating outside my race, I doubt that will ever happen and nor would I do it to “spite black women” like they do to use by using white men.
As for attracting black women that “agree” with my commentary. I don’t need to attract black women, I am the new “breed of black man”. I really think black women sometimes underestimate Professional black men. We adapt to the way black women feel, in real life you wouldn’t know how I feel. In real life you would have no idea my “opinions” on issues.
Black women think because we comment negatively on interracial dating we feel “threatened”. We are not threatened at all. You just have to “protect” your interests that’s all. I will give you an analogy I was watching MSNBC lockup. The whites, blacks and latins have their own gang. The guy says ” We are like countries sometimes we go to war”.
It is very much similar to my mentality and some black men. Protecting your interests includes women in your own race. There is a reason black women is the last race of women to date outside of their race.
Since you asked me a question. Let me ask you this how does it feel “other races of men” pick you last to date? Yet black men desire you “First”.
Your post was interesting I think I am going to write about it on my blog because you made me think hard.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 14 August 2008:
I do have to say I picked dating black women first not last, but you guys made this debate a lot more interesting with the questions.
Comment by DadsLilGirl on 14 August 2008:
Interesting, Mr Laurelton Queens…very interesting. Well, good luck with your personal blog. I won’t be visiting. Not my kind of thing. Sorry. Well, this discussion is just a simple reminder that everyone is entitled to their opinions and everyone’s entitled to disagree. Debate on, my people. May you all be at peace with your views.
Comment by DJTEEL on 14 August 2008:
I don’t even like discussing this topic ANywhere anyTIME..i stick with my own race for two reasons. dating black women,i’ve found that of course they tend to have black friends.loud in restaurants and aggresive.i couldn’t even go into a public place without them becoming loud not caring who overherard them. also,considering the fact i absolutely despise rap hip hop and r&b and the current black music of the day,this relationship just didn’t work out.give me somebody calm,soft spoken and without the desire to hang out all hours of the night somewhere. maybe it’s an old school belief but 1 and 2am is for sleep,not for hangin’ out.
Comment by Angiebaby on 16 August 2008:
“this relationship just didn’t work out”……sounds like your character judgement needs tweaking……
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 16 August 2008:
So DJTEEL
He says the reason he stays in his race because black women are loud and obnoxious and that he hates rap and r&b. I don’t see any sellout black girls saying anything and why am I not surprised. But when a black man like me points this out I am considered the bad guy. I don’t mind being the bad guy as long as I am right. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. But see I date within in my race and I have nothing negative to say about white women.
But see that is the fundamental problem with sellout black women they would be crying to sleep over DJTEEL statement about his preference. There is no affirmative action when it comes to dating so I don’t know why desperate black women continue to brow beat white men to date them because their “so picky” about the black men they date.
Just imagine a black man saying what DJTEEL said which in some cases is “very true” and I have dated black women my whole life. That is why I laugh when they say black men is losing black women in the dating game. LOL Listen I am in the hood all the time, I want white men to go date them and see why black men have to keep their foot on the black woman’s neck.
Yea they can fool you on blogs but when your dealing with black women on a personal level it is a different story. That is why it never bothers me when they make slick comments on the internet about black men. Because off the computer it is a different story. A matter of fact most sellout black women DEAL with black men on a daily basis. They can lie to white men here but I know the truth.
What up Tampa Chris how you feeling homey?
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by pookie on 21 August 2008:
As I read through these responses I see that we are back to square one.
Why do you keep allowing these stereotypes interfere with who you date? I am so tired of seeing that all black women are loud and obnoxious.
I am a black woman and all I listen to is rock and alternative. I am so far from loud and obnoxious but yet I am thrown into this generalization of ALL black women.
DJTEEL:
Obviously what your saying comes from experiences. exactly how many black women did you date? And why would you let that determine your position with black women.
I have had my share of bad experiences with my own race. Similar to the problms you had as far as music and actions in public. And trust me there were alot…. But I didnt let that stop me from dating black men completley, it did limit it a bit more though..
And to SOME of you black men:
Why are black women sell outs if they only date outside of their race???? Not that it’s a issue with me because I could really care less but I don’t see a problem with Black men dating outside of their race permanantley so why should it be a issue with the women. just help me understand what qualifies a black woman as a “sell out” in your opinion
Comment by dcnot on 21 August 2008:
2 me ur a sell out when u use copouts like this race is more emotionally this and tht. tht is bs everybody is simliar 2 an extent but never the same w/e u find with 1 u can find with another. 4 a man or woman 2 only date outside of there race is being a sellout becuz ur saying u dont find ur race(which means u 2) attractive. nothing wrong with interracial but like i stated b4 if every person n every minority married a white person there would still b 100 million+ whites left over ( there would still b minority’s but the minority’s(would b mixed ppl now,the majority of americans r already mixed but now it would really b mixed) would b even more mixed then wht they already r so there wouldnt b black asian etc there would b black/asian mix, asian white mix,etc
Comment by dcnot on 21 August 2008:
also rock n roll is a black music form so u still r listening 2 black music jus now it is predominiantly sung by whites.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 21 August 2008:
Now this is what bothers me.
She asked DJTEEL “Why can’t you just love me”. Essentially he said he does not want you black women because you listen to black music and you talk black. Just to much blackness going around! Yet you continue to look for validation from him.
Then you say ” some of you black men”, some of you black men?????? You ask us what is the definition of a sellout. You claim you do not care but you took time out of your day to ask. A sellout is a person like you, that will bash your own race of men and kiss white men like DJTEEL butt cheeks for validation.
It is always “well you haven’t enough black women”, or my classic favorite every sellout black girl claim she is attractive. I have yet to hear one of them say their average. It’s always white men chase me down I got to beat them off with a stick!
Black men don’t date outside their race permanently. A small percent do but your too busy begging for attention from white men.
I was reading one of those sellout black women blogs to amuse myself at work.
One of the sellout black girls reprimanded the other girls. She said “several hosts of interracial mixers” have complained that some of you are fat and unappealingly I do not know if you come to the mixers like this on purpose”.
I was like yooooo did they just say that to EACH OTHER. After I spilled my drink laughing. The author of the blog Evia, the sellout blog black girls know this woman because they worship her.
Evia decided to BLAME THEM for not looking good enough for white men! This is how twisted and sick interracial dating has become for black women. I never see white women doing this to each other. I never hear white woman say to another white woman ” Girl lose that weight for black men”. People is laughing but I kid you not this is how bad the situation has become.
For the record I got no problem dating black women none. But if your going to come out and tear black men down then it is out of my hands after that. That makes you a sellout !
Comment by DJTEEL on 22 August 2008:
you people are just looking for an argument.it wouldn’t matter why a white man dates solely within is own race,many of you are just want to argue and will turn it in to a race issue.personally,i’m not comfortable with the black culture. and please don’t give me that crap that hy don’t have a ‘culture’ diffrernt than any other. i don’t hate blacks.i just prefer to hang with whites.get over it peeps!!
Comment by DJTEEL on 22 August 2008:
you people are just looking for an argument.it wouldn’t matter why a white man dates solely within is own race,many of you are just want to argue and will turn it in to a race issue.personally,i’m not comfortable with the black culture. and please don’t give me that crap that they don’t have a ‘culture’ diffrernt than any other. i don’t hate blacks.i just prefer to hang with whites.get over it peeps!!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 22 August 2008:
Let me get this right DJTEEEL
You are not “comfortable with the black culture”, what exactly is the black culture? You made it race issue when you mouthed off about black women. If you want to stay in your race and be pro white go to Stormfront white nationalists website. Your a liar you do hate black people. You “prefer” to hang out with whites”. What exactly is “white” you have Italians , Jews are they considered “White”.
This is an interracial forum where people either disagree or agree with interracial dating. I fall on the side of disagreeing with it because you will sucker some poor black girl for sex and she will think the white skin will rescue her from her circumstances.
I wish I knew what state you were because I would make feel real uncomfortable because I am dark black man. You want to hang out with your race go to Idaho or Utah and stay there! I am from New York City come ride the train among different races and cry I am uncomfortable like a little baby!
This guy got some nerve
Comment by bitchKitty on 22 August 2008:
If there were ever a concrete reason for me to NEVER date a black man, I think this “mr laurelton queens” is the poster child. I am a mixed race woman (not black, asshole) and I have never and will never date a black man simply because they act as though they are entitled to accost me because I have a black grandparent. From my experience, white men have better vocabularies, tend to embrace education and intellectual pursuits and honestly, have brighter futures than many black men. Yes, the lack of opportunities for blacks does factor in, but there is also a LOT of “self-policing” in minority communities, i.e. trying to keep those down who desire education and labelling them as “trying to be white”.
Being adopted and not knowing my birth family also influences my decision to date only white men. Who wants to find out they’re dating their dad?!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 22 August 2008:
Trust me don’t flatter yourself I would not be interested in you.
Especially from a woman that does not like the fact that she is half-black.
You mention vocabulary.
” labelling them as “trying to be white”.
Jesus no wonder you need a white man to help you spell. It is LABELING.
“Being adopted and not knowing my birth family also influences my decision to date only white men. Who wants to find out they’re dating their dad?!
Being adopted is a passive voice and the question mark should be exclamation point !
It is Mr Laurelton Queens by the way.
I suggest you embrace an English class.
I have a B.S Degree in Criminology/Sociology; I do not understand what “acting white” means.
Listen go date your white men do not say anything because you are dumb as a rock!
Just stand by him and look pretty. I hope he will increase your vocabulary.
Good day
Comment by dcnot on 22 August 2008:
will ppl stop saying half white half black u have more than a 99% chance of not being half of either the majority of americans r mixed racially.
Comment by BitchKitty on 24 August 2008:
Apparently you are as ignorant as I initially thought; “labelling” is the British spelling and therefore NOT incorrect. I also use ‘colour’, ‘grey’, ‘ jewellery’ and ‘neighbourhood’ thanks to my British mum.
For you to attack my use of a question mark in conjunction with an exclamation point to express exasperation is inane; a passive voice in one sentence has nothing to do with the punctuation of another! And you’re not even an English major!
And just FYI, having one black GRANDPARENT does not make a person half-black. That would make me one quarter black, not half.
I suggest you embrace a Math class.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 24 August 2008:
Dear Kitty
I am in the United States why do I care how you pronounce it in British. Secondly you attacked me you air head. You have a Black grandparent therefore in the UNITED STATES the ‘one drop rule” applies here. Since I did not ask where you were from nor cared. I am sure you will find a white man to increase your vocabulary since that is very important to you. Since I am the “poster child” for black men, you do not date. As for your ‘exasperation” you caused that upon yourself reading what I write. You seem to have an issue with being “considered” black period. Maybe you should take some counseling and embrace your “one drop rule” of blackness.
You also said this
“Being adopted and not knowing my birth family also influences my decision to date only white men. Who wants to find out they’re dating their dad?!”
Listen you are an embarrassment what does adoption have to do with the feeling of dating your dad. I guess when your around other black people it feels like their ‘your brothers and sisters”. You lost me you dumb panda bear!
I do not understand you and frankly white men can have you. Nevertheless, wait you might be in Britain I do not know. Since you said comment………………………..
“Apparently you are as ignorant as I initially thought; “labelling” is the British spelling and therefore NOT incorrect”
I am ignorant, I am in the United States, and everybody uses the word labeling. What exactly was your point anyway of this whole discussion?
You hate being black and your glad you can pass off white is that what it is?
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 25 August 2008:
Laurelton Queens go to BlackPlanet.com and find someone b/c its kinda strange you hatin’ on a interracial dating site.
Kitty stay here or wherever else that makes you happy.
Now that you two are separated we may move on.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 25 August 2008:
Dear Tampa Chris
You maybe white and your ok with me. But I did not hear you say sh%t when DJTEEL said something about black women. Secondly you did not say nothing when black women bash black men on here.
I will give you the benefit of the doubt on here. How about you go to White planet and find someone. Because clearly you ride the fence to much.
Good day
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 25 August 2008:
DJTEEL’S comments were just down right ignorant. Didn’t waste the time. I got a good laugh though. Laurelton Queens makes some good points though we don’t always have to agree. And to all the black women bashin’ on black men remember that it goes both ways.
Most of my best friends are successful, educated, and ambitious black men that date primarily black women. From their experiences they say that the black woman searching for this perfect man is overlooking them under false stereotypical pretenses. Also, many of us “good guys” aren’t edgy/exciting enough for these good women, in which they realize how good we are when its too late.
I referenced Blackplanet.com b/c I am wondering Mr. Queens if you are actually paying a fee for this site. I don’t think you will find much of what you’re looking for here with the exception of an argument with some women who are broadening their racial horizons in terms of romance.
Just please be careful placing all white men in some box of us seeming to be some sort of holier than thou being simply wanting to conquer a woman of color for our own sexual exploits.
Much love to the sistah’s out there who are willing to try “Something New”. For all the catz who don’t agree. We’ll, thats where it ends for you cuz there will be nothing to stop me from doin what I do. Women are women regardless of color. They will choose who they want as I will do the same.
Comment by Dimplessss on 26 August 2008:
Tonight was the first time I actually got on here to read all of this and all I can say is WOW!
As I read the increasingly hostile posts, I found myself shaking my head and saying, “Hmmm. Why all of the anger bordering on rage? What’s the point?” Well, one thing I’m not going to do is attack anyone, black men/women, white men/women, whoever. Who you date is who you date…period…the end.
Having said that, I do want to add my own two cents and sorta tell my story. Who knows? Someone else may actually be able to relate, so here goes:
I come from a ‘rainbow coalition’ type of family. Aside from our core black couples, there are whites, hispanics, native americans, hawaiian, and japanese. Now these couples are mostly made up of the men in my family who chose to date/marry outside of our race. Funny thing is, when the women of my family follow suit, there is surprise bordering on outrage from the brothers, uncles, cousins, etc. It’s a bit hypocritical, I know…sort of a, ‘Do as I say not as I do’ mentality.
But whatever…
The community in which I grew up was predominately white with groups of black people sprinkled in here and there. There was racism to be sure but there was also alot of intraracial hate.
If you,(as a female) weren’t light-skinned with long hair or white, you were ok to be friends with but not one to be asked out on dates.
Having seen this all of my formative years, I did have a bit of a complex. I was medium skinned, not light. My hair was short, and though I was nice looking and athletic, I wasn’t the petite ‘pretty girl’.
The first guy I dated was the one who treated me well, asked me out, and was genuinely interested in getting to know me. He just happened to be white and believe me, we both got a lot of flack from family, friends, you name it. In spite of this we were happy together overall.
The loudest noise however, came from my black male friends. These same brothas who spouted all of the negative comments/hate at me were the very same ones who didn’t bother to ask me out themselves before ‘Chris’ showed an interest. They just had a lot to say once I ’stepped out’. But I could’t let it phase me. I dated the guy who added to my natural happiness.
As I got older (college) I did date black men and in fact married a man of my race because that’s who I was attracted to. There were many reasons that the marriage didn’t last but we did become and remain great friends to this day. He is now dating a very sweet woman who just happens to be white. The man I most recently dated was also white. He was very good to me, our kids had great fun together and the complexities of an interracial relationship really never bothered us. It could be that, as a Marine, he’d seen wayyy too many real world situations that actually meant something to be bothered with something as petty as “Oh my, I’m dating a black woman. What will people think?”
Personally, I just don’t give a flip any more what people think of my dating choice. If I want to date a guy, whether he’s black, white, or whatever I’ll do it.
The choice to date both inside and outside of my race is and has always been just a tiny part of who I am as a person, as I’m sure it is with many others on this board. So, why are words being hurled at each other with such venom and malicious intent; especially when all people on here seek to do is love and be loved in return?
I’m not trying to break into anything sappy or have anyone sing a rousing rendition of ‘Kum ba yah’, but come on people! It’s really not that deep. Live and let live.
This is Dimplessss and I’m out.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 26 August 2008:
Much Respect Dimplessss.
Comment by shonnda on 26 August 2008:
The couple is Robin Thicke and his wife. Yes i chose to date only white guys, but marry them I have not made my mind up on that yet. Once I again I have read every one blog you all make good points but I think yall think to deep into what other people say making these decision are our own choices and it is nothing wrong with the men or women we pick, but I guess it would not be fun if we took things out of content so we could try to make peolpe belive the race we picked is right in your eyes and other peoples.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 26 August 2008:
I have read the comments here.
I think Dimples made some interesting points. I remember being in undergrad and the black girls I would notice dating white guys were overlooked. But the same can be said for black men that were into their education and did not socialize much. But I can understand her feelings. Just because there are more women on campus or your job does not automatically means a black man is player with all of them. I think black women fall for the media to much. Some black women just come up to you and say ” I bet you date white women”. I do not see white women saying to a white guy ” I bet you date black girls”. My main point is all women treat men of different races differently. I do not care how they try to sugar coat it.
Spanish, white , black women and asian women talk to black men differently than a white guy. If your a girl in one of those racial groups and your chubby you will be around “black men” because we like thicker girls. Where I will see a skinny girl of any racial group act ditsy to get attention from white men. So I think race is one of the important factors in dating. For people to say they do not notice that they are lying.
Most white men I have seen dating black women lived similar lives black men have. Every once in awhile I would see like a “White collar” White guy with a black girlfriend. Most of the time that is not the case. Some people call them “Wiggers” but I just thank they are just trying to fit in or be themselves. Not every white guy is the same, some like hip hop and r&b, some don’t. You can like country music and date black women.
From a person like me outside looking in, I just tell you the perspective of what most people feel but are to scared to say it. I live in a 99% middle class black neighborhood.
In real life most black men do not care to the degree that I do. I actually it is harder for a white guy to be an interracial relationship to be honest with you. He is ostracized by people that he is close too. On top of that he may get along with black men but they don’t really hang with him or they may disrespect him and talk to his woman. That would wear down any man.
Comment by Dimplessss on 26 August 2008:
To Tampa Chris: Thank you very much and right back atcha. Keep doin what you’re doin. (smile)
To Mr. Laurelton Queens: I read your last post and can understand where you’re coming from. I can also agree…to a certain extent. For some, race can be a potential factor…in the beginning. But then again, so can something as simple as how someone of your own race looks.
If I’m not mistaken, you’ve said that you will only date black women, correct?
If so, cool. That’s your prerogative and that’s a beautiful thing.
Now, imagine yourself in a social setting. Say you see two black women standing near each other chatting. What is something that would attract you to one over the other? Her outer beauty? Is she dressed up or does she look thrown together? Her demeanor?
It doesn’t make you a jerk to be attracted to the outside first, it makes you human. Same goes for someone who choses to date interracially.
Maybe he or she is simply attracted to a skin tone that is different from their own. It’s just a baseline. But over time, it is the inside of the individual that will determine whether that new person is worth their time and trouble.
On your comment concerning black women and the media: Perhaps a some of us (black women) can be a bit jaded by what we view in the media. But then again, can’t that be said for anyone men/women/black/white and all others?
I tend to believe that many (black women) react toward brothas more from experiences we ourselves or those in our immediate circles have gone through and not as much by the media; especially when the topic is about brothas dating white women. Personally, I say, “Who cares?” My only problem, as I said, is the hypocracy. I think it’s ridiculous that those same brothas, have the gall to look at a bf/wm couple cross eyed, snarled lipped, or even have something negative to say.
Lastly, I do feel that by and large, white men can have it tougher when they choose to be in an interracial relationship.
Though there is a preference for bm/bf relationships in the black community, I believe that we are more receptive/accepting toward interracial couples than ‘traditional’ white communities.
BTW: The man I described in my previous post is a ‘white collar’ kind of guy. He is a former Marine…well, once a Marine always a Marine. Anyway, he is a First Officer for a major airline (hint: Wanna get away?)and has been for the past four years. When we were together, he was very ‘into’ me both privately and publicly and though he would occasionally notice when we’d get ‘the look’ from white women or black men, it’s not something that altered his behavior toward me in the least.
This is Dimplesss. I hope you hear me.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 September 2008:
Dear Dimples
Sorry if I took long to respond it was the Labor day weekend. I would agree with you concerning the looks issue. Some black women may be attracted to the “skin color of a white man”. In a majority of cases I seem to run across black women who bash black men for the reason they dating white men. Now I would believe you if that was the case if it was a simple attraction issue.
What makes distinguish between black women I date is if they are receptive to me and are moving the same direction I am moving in career wise. Looks are important but not that important. I will date thicker black women , white men will not do that. I will date black women on the lower socio economic scale. White men will not date a black girl in a housing project.
Some elite black women have actually attacked me for dating black women in housing. Yet 1/3 of them come from a housing project. I am myself grew up in a middle class neighborhood in Jamaica Queens. As for black men dating white women.
I always use this analogy but some black women still do not get it. Black women caused black men to go to white women. It is real simple, you date thugs , drug dealers and hustlers. The black men that put their heads in the books and graduate college were ignored. Now you want to turn around and get mad because he is with a white woman.
You don’t have to take my word for it, many black men tell me this. My friends tell me this, but instead you want to use white men to get attention. Eventually that is the only attention you will get is from white men while you stand in the back of the line behind all the other races of women the white men dates.
I do think the black community is more accepting of interracial relationships. Yet you can admit that but still want validation from white men when their own family and community looks down on black people.
I remember CNN did to be “Black in America”, the black woman in the interracial relationship said her white husband family say they don’t want “black blood in their family”. So what the does the white husband says ” oh they will come around”. I thought to myself damn they smacked you in the face and all you can do it smile and take it. What exactly will it take for you to stand up for yourself.
As for the Marine comment , my best friends are in the Military both stayed within their race. The military is the last place for racial harmony. I think sellout black women need to get a backbone. They get all worked up over black men looking at them in public. Yet the white community call them every name in the book and they still crawl back.
Simply pathetic.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 2 September 2008:
Just to broaden the perspective, I’ve dated a daughter of a United Nations Leader as well as my last girlfriend who was from the pj’s of Lake City, FL.
Jus my 2 cents.
Comment by Dimplessss on 2 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton Queens,
When I first began reading your post, I found that I could either nod in agreement or agree to disagree with you. However, as you went on, your post began to feel more like a rage fueled attack aimed at denigrating all black women, than the intellectual dialogue that I have come to expect from you.
I won’t address everything you’ve said but I will point out the ones that caught my eye.
You say, “I will date thicker black women, white men will not do that.”
That’s a very narrow and untrue statement unless your observations are strictly within your own community. Where I live, white men WILL date thicker black women. I’ve seen it both in my church and in my community.
I can’t honestly comment on your ‘housing project’ girl and ‘thug dating’ statements. I was raised in a middle class neighborhood, not upper, not lower, just middle and I know very little of that life or who dates or doesn’t date who. Since life in the suburbs is what I know, it’s what I stick with and I’m thankful for it and all of the opportunities that I’ve had as a result of it.
Also I don’t identify with nor represent your ’sellout women’ statements comments so I won’t respond to them.
I do find it interesting that you appear to give the ‘thumbs up’ to black men who date outside by giving him the eternal crutch of, “black women caused him to date outside,” thereby excusing him of all responsibility for actions and choices that you yourself seem to abhor.
This is typical of the mentality that is crippling our community as a whole. “It’s not his fault…someone else made him do it,” no matter what ‘it’ is.
Then you turn around and vilify the black women who may do the same thing for the same reasons.
I don’t understand it.
Allow me, for a second to speak to the brothas who choose to date outside: please…please…PLEASE take responsibility for your own actions in all areas of your life but for the sake of this discussion, I say this: If you want white or ‘other’ then by all means, go get it. It’s your choice. But own it, by God; and if you’re playing the blame game, cut it out and live your life. Swallow that bitter pill and move on!
Now, back to the discussion. You go on to say, ‘Eventually that is the only attention you will get is from white men while you stand in the back of the line behind all the other races of women the white men dates.’
Speaking from the experience of one who has dated both, I can admit this: There have been several times that I ’stood in line’ behind other women but it occurred while I was with BLACK MEN; not every time, but enough times. There were other girlfriends/ex-wives/friends with benefits that I discovered I’d been sharing my BLACK man with AFTER I began dating. The same occurred after I married a black man.
Now, I could go into the ‘monogamously challenged’ black men’ issue but that’s a different discussion for a different time. I could also say that my negative experiences with black men drove me into the arms of white men but that would be a lie. Truth is, I have and will continue to date who I choose whether black, white, latino, native american, or other.
I won’t repeat my story nor will I justify why I do what I do. Just read above in case you missed it.
I will, however return to this one simple truth, there are so many more important things to be passionate/angry about than ‘what color man/woman dates, what color and why.’
When the time comes, I’ve decided to be more concerned with whether or not the guy my daughter(s) bring home (whether black or not) treats her with the dignity, love, and respect that is her due. That alone is important to me when it comes to relationships.
Lastly, I appreciate a good discussion/debate as much as the next person but the moment it turns into a name calling, rage filled attack on anyone, I step out of the ring and find intelligent debate elsewhere.
This is Dimplessss aka KiKi ~ Take care everyone.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 September 2008:
Dear Dimples
You made some good points. My style of writing makes it look like I am intense. You mentioned black men dating white women and that we should take responsibility for those actions. I think many black men do that but you see we are not on blogs bashing black women like they do to us. I maybe the exception because I don’t date outside my race. From talking to friends who date outside of their race. I just gave you a glimpse on the reason why black men date white women.
You said yourself that Black women on a whole started dating outside of their race due to the “negative actions of black men” and not counting that some black men date white women. There was quite a few issues that drove them to date white men. You stated in your post you felt like you were Last in the line when it came to black men in your experience.
So how can you stand there and say decisions to date outside your race has nothing to do with black men. It is simply a contradiction. Whether you want to be a sellout that is your choice. The real reason seems to be your “problems with black men”. Now you can sugar coat it or dance around it that is fine.
You mention there is more important things to be worried about. I absolutely agree but since we are on this board this is the most important issue. Also I do not give the thumbs up for black men to date white women I give you a glimpse of what they feel about it. It is only common sense to distinguish the differences. Black men don’t go around making blogs tearing down black women and say white women are just so great. But I see plenty blogs of desperate black women tearing black men for attention from white men.
As for things crippling our community. I am actually in the black community unlike you. So if anything is crippling the community is traitors in our community.
I read your story about being married to a black man and going through infidelity. I can point to sellout black women getting divorced from white men and I don’t hear the same criticisms about them. I figure their to embarrassed to admit they failed at even keeping a white man interested in them.
I think your 1 anecdotal story about your failed marriage to a black man is interesting but that does not represent all black men.
Your a good debater and I don’t want you to think that I don’t respect how you feel.
We are all civil people.
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 2 September 2008:
sellout blackwomen? how do you figure? you clearly dont know what a sellout really is. blackmen sellout their communities everyday. not taking care of their children and families or communities. about 70% of blackchildren are not beraised with their fathers around, their black fathers. this is what makes you a sellout, not dating one another race. i prefer whitemen and make no apologies for it.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 September 2008:
No you clearly don’t know what your talking about.
White men leave their children too. A matter of fact the 70 percent of black women raising children alone includes men from different races. Maybe you need to look at yourself and figure out why other races of women can keep men in their lives to help them raise their children.
Good for you continuing to dating “White men”. (Plural)
Good day
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 2 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton,
you are a very bitter angry blackman, this is the main problem with blackwomen and blackmen; this kind of anger and bitterness. not all blackwomen are angry and yes i do prefer whitemen, does not mean i have any issues with blackmen, i dont. i can not help it that i love who i love. blackmen have nothing to do with my preference, you would be better suited dating out because you have too much anger against blackwomen. question for you; do you talk this way to blackmen that prefer anything other than a blackwoman? im sure you dont. you should seek theraphy for the anger you have; if you dont it will one day consume you completely…but then again…maybe it already has…
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 2 September 2008:
yes i know this ,but not at the rate that blackmen do, i can also tell yhou that its not 70% like it is in the black community.actually im married to a whiteman. in looking at the state of blackmen, you need to look to white and other men and see why the blackmen is where ie is. why is tit that the blackman is at the bottom of the heap? in looking at blackmen and their reputation, you should be the very last one to tell anyone about anything.tyhat 70% is from children that blackwomen had with BLACKMEN. you most likely have a whitewoman at home as most of you angry blackmen do.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 2 September 2008:
Dear Pretty Brown eyes
I think you watch to much Television. Many black men are successful. The only anger I see is from you. I just responded to your 70 percent statistic that is all I did. If black men are at the bottom of the heap, black women are also at the bottom. It seems like you have issues with black men even though you say you do not.
You made mention that I should “sellout” like you. I am perfectly happy with my life the way it is. You dated outside your race because you were “unhappy”. You mentioned I should seek therapy. I think you should seek an English class. Since you are married to a white man, I figure he is not “Bill Gates”. Not judging from the way you write on this board.
I guess he was fortunate to find you.
Actually, my girlfriend is a Black Lawyer. Judging by the way, you write. Your husband did not marry for your education that is for sure.
Good day
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 4 September 2008:
Wow..
I love black people. I love being black. I thank God for my smooth, dark chocolate skin. It’s rich. It’s creamy… It’s all so steamy. lol…
I love black men. Black men are full of charisma. I think men from other races lack that. Black men are the bomb! I have had some good black men. I’ve had intelligent conversations with them.. They have treated me like a queen… They have beautiful skin. They are very seductive. I’ve seen the good, the bad and the very ugly in all men. Black men have to stop making excuses why they make the choices they make, when it comes to their own lives. I am very aware of how society doesn’t give them a fair chance a lot of times. Yet, no one is stopping you from reading and going to the library. I am a believer that if you take one step, God will take 2 for you. No weapon formed against you, shall prosper. Stop making excuses, why you can’t be what God has called you to be. Failure is a frame of mind. God has called all men to lead.
Black women can be a trip, too. I’ve been a mess earlier in my dating game. We look at all the wrong things sometime. We can fuss too much. We can run our mouths WAY too much. Yet, we love so hard. We stay so long… We endure so much. We need to begin to respect each other. Black men and women have lost so much respect for each other. We are losing our heritage. We are the main ones losing our cultures. My son plays football and it is heartbreaking to see how so many young black boys are fatherless and being raised by women. Black women are working all day and trying to keep up and maintain her family, inspite of absence of their father. I’ve seen black men not raise their own children and yet raise someone elses. Why?
Why don’t we love our own selves anymore? We used to have pride in our culture and our heritage. My theory is that slavery has instilled the worst in us.
Check this out….
In slavery, black men were tore away from his family, because he was sold to other slavemasters. Then, he would go on that plantation and have to start another family, because chances are he would never see his first family ever again. Slaveowners also took the man away from the family to disarm the strength in that family. You take the man out… The family becomes weak. Which is why so many single family homes are jeapordizing our families, our culture… and most of all our communities.
The lighter you were.. The better you was treated. Most of the lighter skinned slaves were products of the rape of black women. The slaveowner didn’t really want his seed in the field, like the other ones. So, she was given responsibilities in the house.
We are so messed up. It’s time to get over the small stuff, because we are becoming extinct. Love is blind. I date white men. Color is not my issue, but I think we should first love ourselves. Some black women didn’t have a father in the home to tell them they were a princess… or they were beautiful and to prepare for the harsh world of dating. So.. many black women learned through trial and error. Yet, many white women had that and are more confident sometime in their approach to any relationship. I thank God that I had my father in the home. Black men don’t understand how important their presence is in the home. They just walk away……
Yes, black men have it hard. I’ve seen the injustice in the community. I’ve seen the underground racism that still exist in our society. I know black men that are in prison, simply because of the color God gave them. But the percentages that is not in jail or on drugs or gay are all making excuses why they can’t stand up and be men in THEIR communities. If you like white women- I don’t have a problem with that. But it’s when you have dogged out a black woman and have taken her soul from her and then portray her like she is just some crazy woman and you are the one who drove her to that point. Then you get a white woman and treat her like the princess her father told her she was. Black men - you are wrong and God will pay. I always say… These white women can have all the black men. If they are not going to treat me right, then bye. You will leave the door open to someone who will.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 5 September 2008:
I love the post BeautyBeyondWords. Very insightful
Comment by Mr_Agba on 5 September 2008:
I’m a 33 year-old black man and I think it’s wonderful that black women have opened their eyes to a wider dating pool. Regardless of race you have to find the right person you! There is no reason for anyone to be alone when there are so many options (and races) out there.
Comment by ChocPrncess on 5 September 2008:
since it is apropos I will repeat something I posted on comment…
I have never been interested in dating black men…white men have always been my preference since I first discovered the opposite sex.
We must remember that for some of us…there was no struggle…no disenchantment with men of our own ‘ethnicity’…no drama of feeling left out because black men were wanting to talk to our white friends…heck…they can have them all because I never was interested in black men! No black man has ever ‘dogged’ me…because I’ve never dated one…I simply do not find them sexually attractive generally speaking. I prefer skin lighter than and features different from my own. Like an earlier poster my first ‘crush’ was white…it was 4th grade and he had dark brown hair, dimples when he smiled and the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen to this day…and I was hooked! LOL
For some of us…perhaps a small few…this is just an innate preference…no drama…no trauma…but a preference…nothing more.
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 5 September 2008:
First off, thank you Mr_Agba for a different perspective from a black male and it was well put!
Then next, you go ChocPrncess! I feel exactly the same way, it’s just about preference. Why does everyone have to be lumped into one big pool together! No drama, some people just like what they like!
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 5 September 2008:
Just another look at it, Tampa…. Thanks!
Can we all just get along? lol…lol…
Comment by Terriann on 6 September 2008:
Laurelton Queens is filled with jealousy and hatred for BW that prefer WM..he’s been on several sites like this and rants and raves and resorts to namecalling and childish behavior. He’s pathetic
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 6 September 2008:
yes he is very jealous, he is angry because blackmen are not the blackwoman’s only option. that is blackmen biggest problem: thinking their shit dont stink and that they are the blackwoman’s only option.
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 6 September 2008:
Laurenton, or whatever your name is,
You are way too stupid to be married to a lawyer; you are angry because you are not the blackwoman’s option. And to boot, you think your shit don’t stink. Also, you are in no position to comment on one’s education. Get your act together and stay out of prison convict!
peace
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 6 September 2008:
opps!
She is your girlfriend, guess she has some sense after all, I am sure she knows better than to become your wife. As far as my husband not be or maybe bill gates. I can definitely tell you this, he much more SOLVENT than your broke ass for sure.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 6 September 2008:
Who cares, who likes what? Ignore those that are ignorant and embrace those that are enlighting. Stop the name calling. If a black man is jealous or someone is hating…. so what! They can’t change anything AND everyone’s opinion is just that. Peoples opinion doesn ‘t change or alter who I am. If I don’t agree, then I don’t agree. I don’t call them names to prove a point.. and if so.. what point are you really proving? The discussion has been very interesting and I am one, who wants to keep it that way.
All in Favor… Say I do! lol…lol…
Comment by dcnot on 6 September 2008:
the prefernece is a fuckin copout.ur preference should b attractive ppl.i think ppl 4get ur brain works like a computer u can program it a certain way u can delete certain etc.the perfect ex: is a lot of ppl pass there lie detector test even tho there lying u kno y becuz they have convinced themselves tht the lie they were tellin is the truth.its the same way with fuckers tht say “i only date or i prefer” u programmed urslf like tht.the funny thing tht a lot of them say tht proves my point is they say stuff like “i can PICTURE myself with such and such” the key word is picture.if u open ur mind and try 2 picture urself with somebody u will b able 2 have a wider dating variety but if u schoose 2 “not picture” than u wont and ur fuckin ignorant.i cant stand ppl tht say they aint never dated there own race u kno how much volume tht speaks ab u.
Comment by dcnot on 6 September 2008:
i meant 2 say cant picture.also i feel like ppl tht say they only date such and such had a fetish tht developed n2 a full on i just want them sort of attitude.u dont wake up 1 day and just say i want white cock or i want indian pussy u start off with a fetish and then it goes full blown n2 ur everyday mindset.
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 8 September 2008:
no fetish here, ive liked whitemen even BEFORE i began dating. i have dated others, just prefer whitemen, no quetionable motive here. if you choose to look at it that way then that is your loss. i dont have to or will explain my preferences to anyone or make any apologies for it either. people need to enjoy what they prefer and makes them happy and not concearn themselves with the thoughts and opinions of others!
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 8 September 2008:
Just remind ya’ll selves that by the time you click off this link and go about your day you’re all still going to have your significant other or your “preferences”, or whatever….just embrace the fact of the endless possibilities of an open mind. God tells us that love outlasts all things birthed in hatred. To quote a favorite movie of mine, A Bronx Tale, “All that matters is what’s good for you…
and how you feel about each other.
Let me tell you something.When you’re alone,late at night in bed…just you and her
under the covers…that’s all that matters. You got to do what your heart
tells you to do.”
Comment by ChocPrncess on 8 September 2008:
dcnot…your comments do not seem logical to me. Having a preference is a fetish? Saying that you can picture yourself with one type over another is wrong? Everyone should be open to attractive people? Hmmm…
Then I suppose a straight man who says he prefers to date only women…has a fetish!
The woman who is willing to date an unattractive man has something wrong with her?
The 58 year old who refuses a date with a 19 year old and says they prefer someone their own age…has fetishes as well?
LOL
An unreasonable line of reasoning…as is yours.
Just as people do no make a conscious choice to be straight…some of us did not start out making a conscious choice to be attracted to one ‘type’ over another…some things just evolve on their own…period.
Comment by doodlebug44 on 8 September 2008:
As a white man, I have always been attracted to black women not white women.
For whatever reason, I find black woman I know are more sensous and open-minded than the white women I know.
It is about the person, but also my attraction for black women.
Scott
Comment by dcnot on 8 September 2008:
prettybrowneyes u dont just wakeup 1 day and say i want a indian man or a i want a korean girlfriend it has 2 start somewhere.which is a fetish.ur fetish builds up from there 2 u just strictly wanting 2 date tht group.like i said ur brain works like a computer u feel it with wht u want 2 and u take it from there.
Comment by dcnot on 8 September 2008:
its kinda like say u have a foot fetish(represents ur favorite race)u can either just like the foot fetish(w/e race) or u can still like sex overall(represents other races)but prefer the feet.i think ppl deserve 2 b happy but i dont believe interracial should b promoted it should just happen on its own.
Comment by phatkitty on 9 September 2008:
To tman’s comment: you have a white friend who has lots of $$ and is turned on only by blk women, dude what is your point? I dont get it. So what, he’s handsome, educated and loaded, dont we deserve the best anyone has to offer. You know some of you “men people” treat blk females as freaking mules. Have my kids, no committement, come visit me in jail, take care of my kids from other women, put up with baby-mama drama, let me drive your car, they wont hire me because i am blk attitude. let them (blk wm)go out and work, sometimes two jobs to support them. Buy me this, buy me that. When is enough, enough. If this seem like a tirade, then it is, so what. Frankly, i am fed up with the whole lot of you. When a blk wm wants the best out of life, and yes the best does come with some material things attach to it, she is considered a GOLD DIGGER? but let her settle for less and she only wants thugs/hood types. We cant win for losing.
ps. no this did not happen to me or anyone i know, i just hear alot of complaints from women, blk ones especially.
Comment by phatkitty on 9 September 2008:
Beautybeyondwords, i read your post after i posted mine. I agree totally, well said and well done.You touched on some of the points i was trying to make. Such as, the way some of these men drive blk wm to the mad house and dont know that it is partly their actions or lack thereof. Am not beating up on them, just stating the facts.
stay true
Comment by dcnot on 9 September 2008:
phatkiity tht is true but at the sametime the same could b said ab bw.tht is the reason it is fuckin pointless.also a lot of folks like 2 blame others butg dont never blame themselves 4 shit.if ur 35+ and r single the problem isnt just ur past partners most of it is on u.
Comment by luvanurse on 9 September 2008:
DJ Teele you are a freakin Nazi. Go to Stormfront with the rest of the peanut brained losers. YOu skinhead nut job.
Comment by Lelutin on 9 September 2008:
No offense to anyone here and forgive me if I’m wrong, but the woman in the picture is not black. She clearly looks hispanic.
Comment by tatted2death on 9 September 2008:
wow….the people in this thread just get more and more enlightened and broad-minded everyday…….8^/
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 10 September 2008:
It is amazing sellout black women are still trying to justify interracial dating.
Just look in the mirror and ask yourself why you hate being black.
Comment by luvanurse on 10 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton Queens I was not going to respond to you because everything you have said so far is just ignorant and hateful just like the Nazi DJTeele. I wonder if you call the brothers sellout who date out. I am sure you don’t. You probably just have a special hatred in your heart for black women whether they date outside their race or not. No one cares about what you think, and just because I know seeing black women with white men bothers you. From here on out I hope that that’s all you will see from now on. I will continue to date who I want to date regardless of what you or anyone else in the black community thinks or says. You should move on with your life or at least get one. COme up with some new material, because dating outside of your race does not mean a person hates who they are. I know I don’t and I am sure most of the black women on here don’t either.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 10 September 2008:
Well
You did respond to me which is cool. I said interracial dating in my last commentary which included black men dating white women. Black women drove black men to date white women in my opinion. Just like White men make negative comments about white women to justify dating black women. I would go into that topic deeper but it would take to long. Actually most people do agree with my commentary. They did a poll of Americans and interracial dating was not favorable.
As for my controversial comment about sellout black women hating being black. It is actually true, I have heard comments about I like “his white features”. Some black women on this board will say derogatory things about black men and their features. Yet they wear contacts and perm their kinky hair just to get attention from white men.
I stand by my comments. Learn to love yourself because I do.
Comment by tatted2death on 10 September 2008:
there is no controversy in being narrow-minded and trying to force your way of thinking down other’s throats. Making generalisations is about one most common, basic things to do…..it is no “special”…..
And just curious who is this “they” that conducted the poll?….I am interested in looking that one up….and seeing the actually percentages and all.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 10 September 2008:
Well
Here is an excerpt
“Still today, many people continue to be uncomfortable about interracial relations. Oddly enough a survey was done in 2003 that polled nearly fifteen hundred Americans to see if they were more of less accepting depending on the races involved. Those that indicated that they were vehemently opposed to black/white marriages were more comfortable with Hispanic/White or Asian/White unions. The survey concluded that the largest correlation to attitudes against interracial relationships stemmed from the actual color of someone’s skin.”
Have a nice day
Comment by dcnot on 11 September 2008:
ChocPrncess my comments were logical.i said ppl that say they only date such and such had to start off somewhere and tht would more than likely b a fetish tht grew n2 a programmed attraction.What is hard 2 comprehend about there being attractive ppl n every race plz tell me.My comment was plain and simple u have attractive ppl n every race so 4 u 2 say u dont date such n such is a fuckin copout.Next your a straight man comment is so ignorant and am stupid try 2 b a smartass.Being gay or straight is not determined by the person but choosing who 1 dates is.Of course a straight man is gonna prefer women hence the term straight.There is nothing wrong with any1 dating a unattractive person my point was you have attractive ppl n every race u got ugly 1 etc u shoul b prefer attractive ppl.attraction is subjective neway so wht u may find ugly may b attractive 2 another.there r ppl who r universally attractive tho.If nething a 58 year old dating some1 there age is not a fetish.A 58 who seeks out 19 year olds would b tho.it would b a old/young fetish.my statements r logical, u saying tht bs ab ppl dont control who they r attracted 2 is pure bs.u cant compare a straight/gay person 2 a i only date/i date anyone personn the former there is no control n the latter there is.period
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 September 2008:
Dear Phatkitty
You make some interesting points about black women being treated like “mules”. It is almost like your saying black men “intentionally” treat them that way. I never grew up in a single parent home. But it is true that black women have pressure to take care of their extended family. My aunt was married divorced and she was the backbone of the family. My aunt’s best friend she is the backbone of her family, she is widowed.
Even if a black woman was to enter a interracial relationship she would feel obligated to take care of her “extended family”. Now that she is with a white man the standards change and she is not a mule now??????????
It simply does not make any sense to me. It is almost like the white skin makes black women feel that their not “black” anymore.
A black man says he has an interest in a traditional black wife that likes to cook and do laundry she is mule! Even when he works hard at his profession and breaks his back for her.
The White man asks her to do that and he is a “family man”!
That is bullshit.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 11 September 2008:
Thanks Phat…
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 11 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton… I perm my hair and I couldn’t be more happier being black! Does that make me a wannabe? Hmmm… My favorite comment is this.. I want the better man, even it’s not the black man. Are all white men good? No. It is just refreshing, when you are on a date with a man who don’t pull up in your driveway blowing the horn, instead of walking to the door and presenting himself like a gentlemen. It just refreshing, when a man will open the door for you, instead of pulling off; before your heels hardly get off the pavement. It’s just refreshing, when you are in a relationship with a man, who doesn’t cuss you out for not agreeing with him. It doesn’t matter what color, if they can respect your womanhood. I am a lady. I want to be treated like a lady. I am gentle. I need to be treated gently. Black men over the generations haven’t been taught to communicate effectively in relationships of any kind. They close up, when things are heated and then explode. Black Women have been taught to be strong and no matter what, stand by your man. We’ve watched men abuse our black women and they cry silently inside, yet continue to carry the burden FOR HER FAMILY. God made us to love unconditionally. If women loved like the men… There would be no families. lol..lol… But, when is it enough. Black men, if don’t nobody else love you. I do. I want to see more black men in college, instead of in jail. I don’t think.. black women don’t love black men. When a woman’s fed up.. .There is nothing you can do about it. Treat us right.
What site are we in? Why black women love black men? Oh my.. Back to the subject of the matter…
I do like white men. White men have showed me another level to this game called love. I appreciate it. I thank God that I didn’t limit myself to what I thought was my only option at one time.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 September 2008:
Dear Beauty
You made some good points. As far as black men not “communicating effectively”. Men in general act like that too it is not a heredity thing. As for white men taking you places that you may “consider” out of the ordinary. Men take you places in their “comfort zone”. For example a black man or Indian man may not take you to a Hockey game.
Just like a White man wouldn’t take you to a black neighborhood primarily with black men to play pool. In your case you want to be “treated gently”. Your implication is that black men do not treat you gently. You can go only off your experience. Some women may like different things in men.
I grew up with a stern father and I come from a “macho culture”. Some black men overcompensate for not having a dad in the house. Just because you wasn’t raised soft does not mean your not a good man. Some women like a ” macho man that takes charge”.
Sellout black women seem to gravitate to white men they can emasculate. Perhaps that is the only white guys they can get.
At the end of the day I will not apologize for being what I am. I did what I had to do to be successful. Yea every woman wish a man was more romantic but that does not last forever. Women only respect a man that managed to keep money in his pocket and never cried when he went broke.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 12 September 2008:
Again, white man here that isn’t fitting all these “white guy” ideals that ya’ll are talking about. I don’t bring my dates to hockey games. I don’t even like hockey. I’m a spoken word poet for a group called Black on Black Rhyme at some of the biggest black venues in our area. I hit up places like the Cotton Club and Jazz spots where I’m primarily one of the few white catz in these spots. Again, jus opening the perspectives…
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 12 September 2008:
Mr.Laurelton
I understand where you are coming from, brotha. White men have took me to another level of love. How to communicate… How to agree and disagree and still love each other… About me being gentle…. I love strong men. I am a flower and in order for my flower to grow. I need water and light from my sun. In order for a woman to be able to love in her full potential, she needs a strong man. Not a macho man. I need a man to build me up and not tear me down. Macho is a front. Appearing to be strong. Outside - in.
A strong man is inside - out.
I agree that black men do try to compensate for not having a father at home and so do some black women.
That is why, black men should work harder at being a better father. “Walking away” shouldn’t always be an option. If what your father taught you didn’t work in your family, why would you train your own son the same way? When you change your path, you can impact your generation. I do jail ministry at our local county jail. The bible says the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.
The devil comes to steal black men out of the home
Kill their children (through gangs, drugs etc..)
Destroy the generations
That is my issue.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 12 September 2008:
By the way…
A real woman respects a real man.
Hey Mr. Tampa!
I hope everyone knows that you can’t judge every book by its cover. Not all black men.. white men.. asian men or purple men… are all the same. I am a black woman and I like to ski… what are the odds of that?
Color shouldn’t separate love, friendships or anything else. When you limit your thinking… you limit your life. You limit your possibilities. You limit your fun. It is simply a color. Did we have a choice? NO.
God saw fit to make me this beautiful smooth chocolate brown that I am… And OH, DO I LOVE IT. I love my color. I love who I am.
Mr. Laurelton, what brought you to this site?
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 12 September 2008:
Well
What brought me to this site was luck. I was black balled by sellout black women bloggers. I just happen to stumble across this site. This interracial subject was interesting to me in College. Unfortunately I could not do a term paper on it due to “politics”. I have attended town hall meetings on the interracial dating subject and has been spirited.
I just think I bring a different perspective to the interracial dating subject. Most of the time black women talk about black men in the prison system and on probation. They fail to realize there are black men like me that don’t fall into those categories. Even with that said, they continue to bash us. I just think some of us are fed up.
I don’t care about who you date just stop making excuses for your bad decisions. I grew up in a 2 family home and in the church. I know first hand the bad decisions black women make when they are dating. Then they end up single mothers and expect you to bail them out or the new thing have a white man bail them out!
By the way I like the fact your active in your community. Not women would volunteer to do that. Oh by the way I never feel threatened by interracial dating because women generally outnumber men in all racial groups. It is more of the principle of it.
Comment by CafeAuLait39 on 13 September 2008:
WOW. I am totally amazed by the hate in this thread. We need to realize that this is America and people have the right to date whomever they choose.
I love Black men, white men, Mixed race men and Latinos. I don’t discriminate. If he treats me well and is a great person, who cares what color he/she is???!!!!
There are wonderful Black men and horrible Black men. There are fantastic white men and terrible white men. Every ethnic group has good and bad.
Am I a sellout because I don’t just date Black men? No. Plus, if people thought that I really could care less because this is my life to live, and I am not living it for anyone else.
People like DJTEEL is entitled to his opinion but he is generalizing. However, I don’t have to show him how wrong he is because who is he? He doesn’t matter to me and shouldn’t matter to any of us on this board.
The only real issue I have with interracial dating is when one person hates their own race. How can you hate your own people? I just don’t understand it. Dating someone from another race is not going to change your color. You’ll still be Black with that white woman; you’ll still be Mexican with that white woman; you’ll still be Japanese with that Black man. So, embrace who you are while still loving someone from another race.
We have but one life to live and we need to live it to the fullest. Screw other people’s opinions about your interracial love affair. If that man/woman makes you happy and treats you well, then darnit that is all that matters.
Comment by dcnot420 on 13 September 2008:
beautybeyondwords, you make some good points.Until you start that “white men took me to another level bs”.When you say that you are throwing all white men in the same bag when.When you say black men dont know how to communicate,you are throwing me and all 20million of us in the same bag.Instead of saying white men took me to another level,you should of said 1 of 2 things.1.the men that have taken me to a new level of love have happened to be white.Or 2.the white men ive dated have taken me to a new level of love.I guarantee you could find any man in any race that could take you to a new level of love.You could find men in any race to be gentle etc.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 13 September 2008:
Beauty
She said “white men took me to another level”. I think she did not mean in that way. I respect anybody that does jail ministry because not even black people would do that. At the same time I feel like DCNOT, this idol worship of white men is disturbing.
I can honestly say black women with white men have never treated me in a bad way. I have had single black women and even black women with black men try to talk shit to me. It can be over something petty like clothing or allegations of “liking their raggedy girlfriend”.
I don’t want people to feel I am not aware of the problems in the black community currently. My main issue is their is a certain extreme part of sellout black women that “get off” on bashing black men. Perhaps they have been hurt in the past. Not every black man should subjected that talk. That just adds fuel to a raging fire.
It really doesn’t take much for people to take their anger out on you. People think the problem is the dating outside of the race. That is not the problem it the perception of you be condescending to your own race.
For example a White guy will say negative things about white women to win favor with black women and vice versa. I never could understand why people do that.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 13 September 2008:
Thanks for the clarity Mr. Laurelton. Thanks for the compliment.
I think (my own opinion) is that sometime black women speak unfavorably about black women, because they are hurt. People of all races do and say a lot of things out of hurt. When I talk about this “other level” … I am talking about the peace in the relationship that I had with white men, I’ve dated. After growing up with black men… dating black men….
I was disrespected sometime.
I was called out of my name sometime.
Just a string of negatives.
I’ve met some good black men and at that stage in my life, wasn’t ready for a real man and could have been the example of a “crazy black woman” lol..lol…
Experiences are just that. Some good. Some bad.
When I do jail ministry, I see some good brothas in there. I am like ” God save them!” They got caught up in the street life. Sometime in our community, Money and Fame is glorified more than Education and own your own businesses. We see little weezy on T.V who selling garbage to his audience and yet has a degree to fall on, if he career fail. Yet our children want the money and fame and overlook the degree he has. We need our priorities in order.
There are some messed up black women out here, too. There are some messed up white men out here, too.
There are some messed up phillipinos our here, too.
This site is to express how we happen to feel about white men. Does it take away the love, I have for black men? Of course not. This is a melting pot of expression, views, opinions, and all that other good stuff.
dcnot- Don’t take one line and run with it… Get first an understanding, brother. I am not your enemy.I love conversation, which is why I am on here. I happen to love white men, which is why I am on here. I can go on the same site… Why black women love black men and still feel right at home!!!! I love men! Ha!Ha!
Brothas, this site is why we like white men and why they like us. So, yes you will hear some things like..
I like white men features or what a white man has that black men may not. There are some things that black men have that white men doesn’t. Let’s keep it fun. Let’s keep it real. Let’s keep the love.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 13 September 2008:
Hi Cafe…
I agree and I like your comment..
I don’t discriminate, if he treats me well. No one really wants to be alone. All everyone is looking for is someone who loves and respects them and treat them right. Whether it be black, white, pink or purple.
Mr. Laurelton, after you have calm down some.. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Ha!Ha!
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 15 September 2008:
In terms of the Lil Wheezy comment. I think Hiphop has always been the forefront for exploitation but the real issue is the negative light programs like VH1 shine down on the black community with I love New York and Flavor of Love. I have an open mind but most in white America will see that and feed into negative stereotypes.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 15 September 2008:
Yes, it has Tampa. But, I used to rap. I was in the hiphop game hard and I know that music is a spirit and I know what goes in - will come out. If you listen to junk all day ( not calling Lil Weezy junk to those who like him) then junk is what is going to come out.
I used to love Lil Weezy back in my day and the whole cash money millionaire crew..lol..lol..
I do think it contributes tremendously to the disrespect of black women mostly, but women in general. I don’t think its an attribute to our community at all. But that’s just me…..
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 15 September 2008:
I disagree with Tampa and Beauty
I watched the VH1 show and Flavor Flav mother lives in a town over from me in NYC. That is all entertainment, and I can point to white shows that are stupid but they never say it makes the white community look bad. This whole idea that black entertainers must be a “positive or negative” role model is an unfair burden.
Parents are role models, and if their is no parents in the home then teachers are role models or the neighbors that go to work everyday are role models. Bad enough the film and TV industry does not want any black shows on television because you need viewers to keep the show going.
Lil Wayne I personally don’t care for him. I am more of a Biggie and 2pac fan. I like 50 cents because to understand 50 cents you would have to understand 2pac and Biggie. The “Get Rich or Die trying” album is a classic album. 50 cents taps into the anger of some black men that say ” You know what I don’t give a fuck anymore”.
If you listened to 2pac he was more political. He had a conscience concerning black women but at the same he fed into the stereotypes that got him killed. 50 cents did what 2pac and Biggie was not able to do and that was be a “Corporate thug”. 50 cents scare the powers that be up top at Inter scope. The funny thing it was Eminem that saw the talent. Perhaps the best rapper period of his generation.
Lil Wayne i will not say is insignificant. He is like the voice for the southern man or black boys that want their own identity in the rap game.
For a long time the South would watch New York and California dominate the rap game. Now their doing well and they do get hated on. My personal opinion on why they get hated on is because the southern boys “stick together”. In NY and CALI we busy killing each other of stupid shit.
In conclusion
It is Entertainment people knock Flavor Flav yet he is a classically trained piano player. The founder of Public Enemy that started hip hop on its way to a Billion Dollar Industry. Jump started a lot of jerks careers in the VH1 reality game.
They need to thank Flav he made VH1 a lot of fucking money man.
Comment by djteel on 15 September 2008:
i don’t hate blacks or hispanics or any other race and i think it’s comedic that someone would call me a nazi in this forum.i grew up in the 70’s and have always hung with white people.i still do..how is that racism??? i guess then that until i make it a point to meet and hang with someone outside my race that i’ma racist?? some of you people are like totally diversity nuts i think!! because somebody hangs with people of the same race as them makes him/her a racist? i’m not against interracial dating at all .if someone wants to date others of a different race than them that’s fine,just not for me.i hang with white people just like so many blacks and hispanics hang with people of their own race.it doesn’t necessarily make them racists.mostly it’s a kind of comfort zone.something they got used to and comfortable with in their life.it doesn’t make one racist.
interracial dating isn’t right or wrong..it’s something that one does or doesn’t do and probably not even premeditated in many cases.people meet people and are attracted to one another/. alot of people almost seem like they have this notion that it’s not preference and that it’s an either, or issue and both the either and the or are coming from racist angles/i’m more comfortble with people within my own race. and as i posted here before,when i moved i looked for a complex that was predominantly white.not from being racist.i like the fact that when i walk outside i see people of my own race around me. i lived in complexes for many years thatfor years all i saw when stepping out my front door was hispanic and black. i wanted to move into a place where i could meet people of my own race.being racist doesn’t enter into it.the woman i’m dating now enjoys heavy metal music as do i. music is an important part of my life.i’ve never met a black or hispanic woman that cared at all for heavy metal music ‘nor the movies i like to watch ,although i’m sure they exist somewhere/.
don’t make the mistake of judging someone being racist simply cause they don’t interracially date and or they don’t have friends of other cultures.i don’t go out of my way to meet people of other cultures cause i don’t see the point of doing it simply for that reason. the only thing that i see that bothers me about interracial dating is that there are people out there who do,that judge people that intentionally don’t and thusly see it as some form of ‘racism’./with alot of people it’s the comfort zone thing. they date people their comfortable with,even if it means people of the same race/.nothing wrong with that.it’s called preference.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 15 September 2008:
Personally I can feel where DJteel is coming from.
There is no affirmative action in dating and it just breaks these black girls little hearts that a white man does not want them. I can’t understand all this talk about him being a Nazi and racist simply because he is not interested in black women that don’t like his interests.
At least he is telling the truth. Instead you have emasculated white men running around afraid to tell black women stop asking me for money. They want to please their black girlfriends so much that they let them walk over them.
I am comfortable in my community but I do go to the Mall, which is in a white community. Roosevelt Mall in Long Island is one of the biggest malls in America. This is the only reason I go to that mall. I don’t lose sleep like sellout black women when whites don’t want to associate with me.
I just drive my car and go to work like everyone else. I once drove up next to a white boy and his black girlfriend and he had an old Nissan Pathfinder. I just looked at her and shook my head.
She must be waiting for that trust fund money or some shit like that.
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 16 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton, I do think your comment was ignorant and offensive… If it makes you that sick, go to the site
Why sellout black men like white women…and you would probably be much happier. I don’t understand why you are in this site. You’re not a white man looking for a black woman and visa versa….
You’re not putting anything positive in the discussion…
You are being very disrespectful….
Which you don’t have to be at all…
No one is disrespecting black men, they are just giving their own opinion of what they prefer or what they like….
Let’s be nice in here…. Please..
Sometime black women don’t even have to open their mouth about black men and a point could be already made.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 17 September 2008:
Dear Beauty
I find your comments ignorant and offensive. Seems like you got a problem with black men dating white women. It is funny that the truth comes out when someone else has a difference of an opinion on the subject. I responded to DJTeel’s commentary. He stated that he has nothing in common with black women. Then people jumped down his throat about it.
Once again there is no affirmative action in dating. It just makes black women upset when a white man has no desire for them. I will stick to my statement because it is a true statement. Your narcissistic attitude and self righteous attitude also makes me sick. Simply because you go to jail ministries makes you immune to being a sellout.
Maybe it is guilt I don’t know your reasoning. But get off your high horse before you run around and attack me for my comments.
Good day
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 17 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton,
I don’t have a problem with black men/white women at all. Be with whomever makes you happy. My issue is your comment about black women asking for money and all that. You could have kept that to yourself. What’s in the heart, comes out. You don’t like black women and you don’t respect them. I am sorry, if someone got you for your papers.
I do jail ministry, because I believe Jesus can make the difference in their lives, like he did in mine. Am I perfect? Not at all and have never claim to be. The cure to sin is Jesus. My desire for everyone is that no one leaves here (this world) lost. I don’t have any beef. I am involved in the abstinence programs, nursing home.. etc.. to better my community that I live in. Who cares about black men dating white women, when we see babies having babies. People are hurting. People are dying… People are starving… and you think that I care about black men dating white women?
Boy, please! And with all the white men in the world.. do you think that I care, if a white man doesn’t want me? First of all… I am the catch, not the catcher. Secondly, I don’t care who don’t like me, when there is so many others that do.
It’s childish.
Once again… why are you here? in this site?
I like white men. My experience with them has been good. So, I can be a sellout.. whiteout.. Or whatever you want to call it. I like who I like it. Like I have stated before.. There are some good brothas out here, too. I am not arguing that fact. But once again.. This is not the site for black men.
And you seem to be the one with the issues….
Bless you brotha.. and may the Lord have His way in you!!!!
Comment by luvanurse on 17 September 2008:
DJteele why are you on an IR dating site? If you think that IR dating isn’t “right or wrong” what kind of dumb ass statement is that? Not right or wrong. You sound confused or either stupid. There are so many comments in your post that shows you are a racist. What the hell is your definition of a racist, because to me you fit it. I stand by my earlier suggestion. Go to Stormfront and blend in with white people there since you are most comfortable being ONLY around white people. Why be around all these different races. I am sure most of the white women on here if not all of them are here because they date interracially, meaning they don’t want your ass. OR did you come on here to harass the white women who date out. You sound so silly.
Comment by luvanurse on 17 September 2008:
Umm, Mr. Queens, DJteele said he doesn’t like being around blacks period, don’t try and make it seem like he is attacking only black women.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 17 September 2008:
Hi luvanurse… Hope that’s the right spelling….
How are you?
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 18 September 2008:
Dear Beauty
Actually I do not have to keep anything to myself. Everybody is free to say their personal opinion about a subject. You mention something about respect of black women. Since my black girlfriend is a lawyer I tend to think your misinformed and on your “high-horse” again. I do not know what “got you for your papers” mean. I think you might have suggested that a woman “took money from me”. I make my own money and I am currently at work right now.
The Black women I know regardless of if they date outside their race do not bash black men like you do. Then try to pretend that jail ministry can make them “feel better” about themselves. You mention that you are not perfect but run around and pass judgment on people while mentioning jesus.
I know I pass judgment on people, unlike some others that remain on their “high horse”, passing judgment on people who disagree with their opinion.
You mention all these political problems in the world. This blog is not the forum for that. Since you like to say I do not “belong here”. I know your passionate about those subject I am sure you Oprah would love you. I am on this site to state my opinion about interracial dating. It is a blog right that you can comment on.
Every comment has to be a positive one on a blog????
You established you love white men and then turn around and lie to yourself about liking black men.
As for DJTeel people are calling him a Nazi and racist because he does not want to date black women. He never said he does not like being around black people he made an honest opinion about dating black women. If he did not want to associate with me you think I would care.
Also there are white women on this site that like Black men. This board is for black women that only like white men? Again this is the ego of sellout black women talking again.
Beauty get your facts right and read your bible again. I grew up in the Church, my grandfather was a preacher. The same people that wave the bible in their hand was the same people advocating segregation and banning of interracial dating in several states until the 1960’s.
Beauty I like you but your way over your head now girl.
LOL
Comment by luvanurse on 18 September 2008:
Hi Beauty, sorry so late in responding. Yes, that is the correct way to spell it. How are you?
Comment by tatted2death on 18 September 2008:
“For example a White guy will say negative things about white women to win favor with black women and vice versa. I never could understand why people do that.”
I must say I agree with you 100%, Mr. Queens.
What is the effing point to that sort of thing???
I have all sorts of theories; would love to see someone give me a concrete answer to that…
tatted2death
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 18 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton (once again Boo)
First of all, what “high horse?” Do you know that I can’t wake up without Jesus? Do you know that I am not my own, BUT AM BOUGHT WITH A PRICE? A high horse is something that I don’t have, because I know that I am nothing or nobody and I can’t do anything without SOMEBODY(The Lord).
What judgement? I don’t judge people, because of how they feel. I don’t care. If I disagree, than I comment. If I want to add on, then I comment. You don’t know me from Adam or Eve and I am sorry, if People didn’t live, what they taught in front of you. (I don’t know, if that’s the case) But, I live what I teach. I don’t hide behind jail ministry. I am just doing what God has called me to do. There was a time in my life, that I was on the other side. If you want to keep it all the way real.
I’ve been the young girl sexually abused. I’ve been the girl gang banging to cover the issues I had inside… I’ve been the girl that loved a man more than I love myself and allowed him to TOTALLY abuse me in every sense of the word.
I thank God that I still have a peace of mind. So high horse is something that I don’t possess.
Baby, you don’t know like I know.. what the Lord has done for ME.
I’m sorry, if I come across as this judmental hypocrite hiding behind the name of Jesus… That is not my intent and That’s not my life.
I am lover, not a fighter.
I don’t get anything from volunteer work. I don’t want anything. When I look and see people hurting like me (at one time in my life)it gives me joy unspeakable to tell them that ” they can make it!” Love has no color to me.
You have me all wrong, brotha. AND ONE MORE THING, WHILE I AM SNAPPING ON YOU…LOL….
You are so wrong. I do love black men and I understand them. I am raising one! An awsome little man….
I know why they do what they do… I understand their pain. It’s hard out here for them. I can’t forget how the police was trying to stick me with a felony, when I was 21yrs old and innocent…. That could have messed up my entire life…. I’ve seen it done to them. I’ve tried to fight for them. Black men don’t have anyone to fight for them oftentimes, but I often tell them.
“This battle belongs to God!”
My passion is for the ministry of Jesus Christ!
Sorry, If I am getting all deep, but it is.
Interracial Dating on either part is not my hangup. It does bring me joy to know that you have a “black lawyer” at home. Treat her right. And I hope that she treats you with all the love and respect, too. Great! I will pray that YOU make it, together! And that is from the heart, brotha.
For the record… I like you to, but it ain’t over my head, negro…lol…lol… Come with what you got..
Tatts.. I don’t care, if you agree.. Agree with what? Ha!Ha! Don’t have me set it off in here! lol..
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 18 September 2008:
This blog is interesting. Will it change who I am? Probably not. But it may help me see other views and ideas and give me other ways of seeing things.
luvanurse, what brings you in here? Where are you from?
(Standing in the karate kid stand)
Who want some now? lol…lol..
Quote: I ain’t scared of you *******
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder…………….
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 18 September 2008:
Hey Beauty, just so you know, you don’t come across as judemental or a hypocrite. You always sound intelligent and loving. People on here don’t listen to what others are trying to say and they read in all types of other things stemming from their own personal issues when all this Blog was intended for was to express “some” black women’s love for white men only. Somehow we got all blown out of proportion like everyone was bashing on black men just because they prefer white men, when I never even saw that (except for a few comments). Just because you prefer one doesn’t mean you bash on or hate the other and the women/men that do are just ignorant. Treat “them” as such though and stop lumping us all in together.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 19 September 2008:
Just remember that everyone who holds an open mind are going to go through trials and tribulations for a long time. But remember, we are the intricate role in the process of equality. I’ve been through so much discrimination in my life because of my preference in women. And I’m sorry, I would never use the word “fetish” as it was said before. Women are not just sexual objects to be used. The black woman is unique as are other cultures of women. It just so happens I have an utmost respect and love for sistas based on my experiences. You won’t change it, this blog won’t change it, and society sure as hell won’t change it.
One love to all my strong women out there who endure.
C
Comment by luvanurse on 19 September 2008:
Hi Beauty. Keep on telling it like it is. I have not been through what you have been through, but I have witnessed it. I wish anyone with similar trials and tribulations could come out on top like you. You make me proud. I don’t know you, but I respect you for it. It’s not easy out here, but you are doing what you have to do and are not letting anyone or anything get in your way. I am very sensitive to how black women are perceived and the way we are treated. I am not saying that I don’t care about what black men go through, but until recently I did not know so many black women were hurting so much.(that is another post) We need to support and love each other. So if one of us happens to find love outside the color line. I am wishing her everlasting love and happiness.
Now that I have bored you. A friend of mine told me about this site. I think there are alot of cute guys on here, but have not met anyone yet. To be honest I am becoming less and less interested in dating right now, but still like to read forums and look at the sexy men. I am from St. Louis btw, but moving to Portland Oregon next year.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 19 September 2008:
Thanks Swt very much…. I really appreciate the comment. We are seeing eye to eye, girl…
Mr. Laurelton tells me that I am judging and he judged me. Mr. Laurelton tells me that I need to read my bible a little more and It sounds like we both can then attend Sunday School on Sunday morning!!!! lol… That’s not my issue either. Mr. Laurelton is something else up in here.. up in here…
Hey Cutie (Tampa)- How’s it been going? I respect your comment. Stand up, Boo. Make your presence known, cause it’s your world. Ha!Ha! I feel you, though. You do catch heat,when you go against the grain… SO WHAT!!!!! lol…lol…
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 20 September 2008:
I have read the all the commentary here.
We are all judgmental. Some of us choose to overlook that. Tampa Chris says he is offended by people saying he has a “fetish for black women”. Well this whole idea of Black men using black women is false. He made a remark about “women should not be used”. The implication is black men “use women”. I do not personally think Tampa Chris meant anything by it. But we have to understand we say things unintentionally in our mind that we may really feel.
As for Beauty again she makes some good points but then the “other side of her” can’t resist taking a shot at black men. I am guilty of that sometimes emotions overtake common sense. I am well aware most people are looking for the “right person”. But when you say “you only date outside of race” I question their motive.
As for me treating my girlfriend right. I never hear a black women say to the white boy “Hey man treat your girl right!” What the hell, again this is the type of “buffoonery” that black men have to deal with.
I am all for religion and Jesus. The thing is you found baby white Jesus when you was going in the wrong direction in life Beauty. It did not take me going down the wrong path to find “White Baby Jesus”, I was born in the church. Now do not get me wrong I do not knock people that found religion when their life got messed up. But let’s distinguish what religion is really about. You should love the lord when things are going GOOD AND BAD for you.
Anything I did in the streets I was well aware of it. Currently if you having sex with someone before marriage you are a sinner. So sellout black women avoid preaching to me because they whore themselves to white men without a commitment or ring.
I know you are going to say “You do the same thing”. Yea but I do not preach to you to go to “Sunday school”.
Good day to everyone
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by tatted2death on 20 September 2008:
OMG……I think just about everyone (with an active brain i.e. NOT in some “racist coma”) can see that Tampa was basically defining what a “fetish” is to most people…HOW THE HAIL is that implicating ANYTHING ABOUT BLACK MEN????……WHEEEEEW!!! If anything I think he might have been calling out some men(generally speaking) that do objectify women…..PERIOD.
But Mr. Queens, I DO like what you have to say about religion….makes a lot of sense (although this is another can of “blog misdirection” that I am not even going to mess with…LOL)
And for the record….I WILL tell anyone that has been blessed/lucky enough to share “life’s path” with someone special to act accordingly and “treat them right”…..Too many people take others for granted……PERIOD
Peace and Blessing
tatted2death
P.S. Beauty….take that ninja garb off, lady….LOL..
I was only agreeing on the part of Mr. Queen post that I quoted……nothing to do with you missy…LOL…peace and love.
AND TO TAMPA CHRIS:….Thanks SOOOOO much for the sentiment of encouragement….it’s funny how they spoke to some things I am going through at this very moment. Hopefully many others will take your words of wisdom to heart….peace and love
To luvanurse…..I feel ya on the whole dating thing…..nothing wrong with checking out the “eye-candy” though…LOL
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 20 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton, your view on religion is ALL SO WRONG, but if that is how you feel, than that is you.
Kinda offensive, but when people are not saved (oh, am I judging you….) they will say anything and think anything. Earthly minded people can’t comprehend those things that are spiritual. One thing is for sure…
You need God… He doesn’t need you.
So… that’s that.
I tell ALL men to treat their women right. That is across the board. White men are not exempt.
Currently, I am practicing abstinence, so your comment didn’t relate to me. Didn’t I tell you that my body doesn’t belong to me? I AM BOUGHT WITH A PRICE?
If I told you how long that I’ve been practicing abstinence, it would blow your mind! I thank God for the victory!!!!! Before giving mysef to God… Yes, I fornicated (had sex before marriage). But, now I feel that I AM too valuable to give myself to someone without vows being made. My theory is this… Where I live, to purchase a license for a pitbull is $1000.00, and men don’t have a problem with that. A license to get married is less than $20.00.. so how important is it to you really? Unfortunately, I don’t prostitute myself to anyone. Not white men. Not black men. Would I still date a black men? Yes. What is your point?
I will date the BETTER MAN…. I don’t care, if he’s purple.
About this wrong path thing… I was giving you background of where I came from and How God has blessed my life. God comes into a glad heart and one thing is for sure… He won’t force himself on you. So, I can’t force my beliefs off on anyone. God is a gentleman. He loves. He died for you.
The bible said.. While we was YET in sin, Christ died for us. So, while we are going about our everyday life and doing what we want to do. He still loves you, but if you don’t want Him… Than that is your choice and know that there are consequences for every choice you make.
I agreed with Tatted about Tampa’s remarks. I don’t care what.. Tampa is cool with me.
You told me to read my bible more… I say.. We can go to Sunday School together, because it’s evident that you have missed a few things.. (Man, I am the judging Queen around here…lol…) You make judgemental comments and then say I am judging. Yes, People judge sometime.
Judging is when I see a girl with a short skirt and assume that she is the biggest Hoe in the area and yet not know her. I am “judging” her appearance and yet missed the makeup of her heart.
To me that is judging….
Yet.. (religiously speaking) If the bible tells you that all liars will burn in the lake of fire and you are a constant liar…
I’m calling a spaid a spaid. It is what it is. Don’t look to make it in heaven, because the bible says no liars can tarry in HIS sight. God is the final judge in my life. I am aware of different religions and no disrespect to any of them. But, I believe that the bible is true and I speak according to that.
Enough of that….
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 20 September 2008:
Oh.. yeah.. About your black lawyer girlfriend. I didn’t get that comment. What does that have to do with the price of butter? I am just happy, if you are.
But get it right… She would be a black attorney (politically speaking). Who’s politically speaking? Who scientific…? Wow… Where has this blog gone?
By the way, my new found friend (Mr. Laurelton),
I’ve been “talking” to a young black man named Sean, who seems to have it all together. And just met a white young man named Paul, who’s a tennis pro and seems to be a little “shaky”
I want the BETTER MAN….So, we’ll see.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 20 September 2008:
Okay.. Tatted…
I won’t fight anyone….. Dank you!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 21 September 2008:
Dear Beauty
Actually I am saved. I was saved at 17 years old. Once again not practicing what you preach concerning judging. You mentioned I was a liar, I can’t recall what I lied about. You mentioned you had sex before and now you are practicing abstinence. The fact remains you still have sex before marriage however you want to sugar coat it. You mention “needing” god, depends on what “need” is. You shouldn’t need God when your just “down and out”. You should want to walk with God regardless of your circumstance.
That is where people go wrong. They make judgements and turn around and “tell you” that your interpretation of religion is wrong. The Bible is open to interpretation. If you take the “Bible literally” that is your choice. See this where you go wrong. People use the bible and still commit wicked acts on people. We can justify wars and other issues by just using the bible to our advantage.
Did you know the Bible was used to sanction a law against interracial dating? I don’t blindly follow religion like you do. You keep mentioning judgment and you can’t seem to run away from your own statement concerning not “judging people”. I told you “everyone judges people”.
You mention a girl can be wearing a mini skirt and have her body showing and assume she is ho. Actually 9 out of 10 times she is a ho. Again I can only go off the facts and not the idealism that you like to talk about.
You mention lying when you lie to yourself everyday. You lie about your feelings towards black men. You lie about not judging people when we all do. You judge me so you was lying in your previous post. Then you say “don’t look to make it to heaven” because you “think I am lying”. You cannot see into a man’s heart and thoughts. I am not going to say you will not make it to heaven because my faith does not teach me that.
Once again you do not sound convincing. You sound like your on your “high horse” because you found religion so you know you can interpret the bible. I got news for you “a little sin” is “sin”. Since you read the bible so well you should know what that means.
Good day
Comment by luvanurse on 21 September 2008:
Beauty if you want to continue to go back and forth with Mr. Queens, ofcourse I cannot stop you. He is here to condemn black women for their choices. I don’t see him bashing black men at all about their dating choices. He continues to say black women are sellouts because we date outside our race. There are so many black men who go after white women because they feel white women are better than us. Yet he says nothing about them. Now he can see into your heart and mind because now he says you are lying to yourself about your feelings toward black men. I wonder if he can tell me the lotto numbers. He sounds like he needs to do some deep soul searching and figure out why it is so important for him to interfere with his lousy opinions about black women and our dating choices.
To the black men on this site dating outside their race based purely on attraction I hope you find the love of your life. I know not all black men are condemning to black women as Mr. Queens is. I still wonder why someone who is not interested in dating outside their race would be on an interracial dating site.
Comment by tatted2death on 21 September 2008:
luvanurse
…now you know he is going to come back with the same ole tired “it’s a free country/public blog” type of answer….
but yes it obvious that this dude probably has some deep-seeded issues that he may never fully realize. So with that being said, I think it is best to ignore when he goes on those “sellout” rants(which I find HILARIOUS because they don’t even apply to most of the women who date interracially)… He actually has some valid points when he is NOT being insulting but they won’t be heard…sad.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 22 September 2008:
It always interesting that people dismiss commentary that disagrees with their philosophy.
I read an interesting article today.
http://news.yahoo.com/page/election-2008-political-pulse-race-in-america;_ylt=AgSSgm_RhCckCem18Qzpohus0NUE
Here is an excerpt from the article.
“Racial progress in America is undeniable on many fronts. But millions of white and black Americans still barely interact at all, bringing the very term “race relations” into question.
“There’s still a lot of estrangement out there” between the races, said David Bositis, who writes about racial matters at the Washington-based Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies. “There’s still an enormous amount of segregation.”
Since interracial dating seems to be the cure for all this for the readers on this board. Why are blacks and whites so segregated? I guess your going to say people like DJTEEL are the minority too right???
Sellout black women seem to accept the larger white community talking behind their back when they are with a white man. Yet black men are to blame for this. I can’t recall many whites trying to move into my middle class black neighborhood.
As for this idea that we think white women are better than black women. Your a damn liar, the larger white community think a white man can “do better than you”. Black people are more tolerant of interracial dating than white people.
I hear it on many message boards that white people in interracial relationships say black people are more accepting.
So stop using black men for your agenda.
Good day
Comment by doodlebug44 on 22 September 2008:
Mr. Laurelton Queens,
Millions of whites/black still barely interact at all. Even though you did not say this - GIVE ME A BREAK. Who ever said interracial dating was the cure?
Black people are more tolerant than white people. What research or study did you read to support this.
I am glad the statements you make are just your opinion, because I have never seen any research or study supporting your opinion.
Why do you continue to make this such a negative issue. Those of us who happen to be white get past this. Why cannot you? Let people date who they want and be done with it.
Scott
Comment by luvanurse on 22 September 2008:
Tatted2death, girl, I am done with Mr. Queens. He is not making me budge one bit from dating white men. It is pointless to entertain him any longer.I am very attracted to white men, yes I love the vanilla. I even bought a subscription to Playgirl magazine online. After looking at all those sexy hard body men, I am definitely craving the vanilla flava. There was some sweet latin brown sugar in there as well. Not much chocolate in there, but the few sprinkles that were scattered about were yummy looking. After all that sweet talk I have to go and work out.If any of you ladies would like pics of these guys.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 22 September 2008:
Dear Doodle
I just gave you the article link.
http://news.yahoo.com/page/election-2008-political-pulse-race-in-america
Now do not attack the messenger because you do not like the message.
Here is an excerpt from the article.
“There’s still a lot of estrangement out there” between the races, said David Bositis, who writes about racial matters at the Washington-based Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies. “There’s still an enormous amount of segregation.”
That is just a overview of the study. You can dig deeper and look for the information.
“One in five whites have felt admiration for blacks “very” or “extremely” often. Seventy percent of blacks have felt the same about whites.”
Only one in five have felt this way?
No, it seems like you are only ok with the black community when you can have sexual relations with black women. Now you want to say, “let’s get past this”. I doubt you cared what happened in the black community until you developed your fetish for black women.
Do not insult my intelligence Doodle.
Comment by golden brown on 22 September 2008:
I just wanted to comment, I’ve grown up around all races and have been attracted to men from them all. I have yet to date outside of my race, even though my family is a melting pot. I have never really been seriously persued by anyone other then black me, but lately I’ve been considering what it would be like. Honestly I have never been opposed to dating any race, but began to fear what it be like being in a white family. My biggest fear would be to have so much unexspressed dislike. Anyhow…reading this blog has opened up a new perspective to me, before I kind of had the feeling that a white man had to have a resaon for wanting to date a black women. I can see through some of your expressions that that is not always the case.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 22 September 2008:
You are right luvanurse…. I guess that I am done. It’s pointless. You can’t teach a dog, new tricks.
(I am not referring to Mr. Laurelton, as a dog.. Just get the point of what I am saying). Thanks for stopping me. lol…lol… Sometime you need that. lol..lol.. It’s hard dealing with someone like him.. You just want to knock them in the head and insert some sense… SO WHAT, MR. LAURELTON… YES I SAID IT..LOL..LOL… SOME SENSE… I AM SO JUDGEMENTAL ANYWAY… WHAT DIFFERENCE DO IT MAKE?
Tatted, was right.. He does make some sense, when he is not offensive. I don’t agree with the point, but I see his logic. I see his view. Yet, he takes everything I say out of content.
He is definitely not changing my mind about white men!!!!! I can be sellout… white out… whatever you want me to be, boo!
(Flirting)- Hi doodle! lol..lol… I’m a mess, lovanurse… Keep me in line.
Comment by golden brown on 23 September 2008:
I just wanted to comment, I’ve grown up around all races and have been attracted to men from them all. I have yet to date outside of my race, even though my family is a melting pot. I have never really been seriously persued by anyone other then black me, but lately I’ve been considering what it would be like. Honestly I have never been opposed to dating any race, but began to fear what it be like being in a white family. My biggest fear would be to have so much unexspressed dislike. Anyhow…reading this blog has opened up a new perspective to me, before I kind of had the feeling that a white man had to have a resaon for wanting to date a black women. I can see through some of your expressions that that is not always the case.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 23 September 2008:
Dear Golden Brown
You got nice eyes and nice breasts.
You will be “PURSUED” by black men forever even if you had a white man.
Good day to you
Comment by golden brown on 23 September 2008:
Thank you Mr Laurelton Queens.
DJTEEL you’re ignorant! You just took it upon yourself to lump a whole group of people together based on color…when color has nothing to do with your reasoning. You need to admit to yourself that YOU ARE A RACIST! There is nothing wrong with having a preference, but there is everything wrong with ignorance…it’s definatly not BLISS! GET A CLUE!
Comment by dcnot420 on 23 September 2008:
Tampa when I use the word fetish it is not supposed to be in a bad way but it used in a way to describe how you go from a clean slate to saying i only date or prefer such and such.You dont wake up one day and say hey I only want black men or hey I only want indian women.It starts somewhere which would be a fetish.You got nasty fetishes and you got curious but not intended to be bad fetishes.It goes both wasys its not just a woman thing.Its just that women get sexually exploited way easier than a male can.A man is the only one for real for real that can get sexually exploit a male to the same extent that a woman gets sexually exploited.Like if a male student gets touched by a female teacsher he aint telling nobody and if he do he bragging about it.That is still exploitation but its just men look at it differently.
Comment by dcnot420 on 23 September 2008:
dont get that confused either you got girls who wont tell either but when it gets looked at by others they make the girl seem more exploited then they would a male.
Comment by dcnot420 on 25 September 2008:
my best ex: of how a fetish goes into a straight on preference is this.one day a white guy is watching tv.on tv there is a hot ass indian girl.he has seen indian girls before but never that hot.from that day on he in the back of his mind says i really want a indian girl(that is the beginning of the fetish,also a lot of people that say they prefer or only date have never dated what they say they prefer or only date in the first place).from that day on he starts to find himself strongly attracted to indian girls(even though all races have attractive people).all he sees nowadays is fine ass indian women.which builds upon his fetish.his fetish now has just went from a fetish to a full on preference.i would of typed this example better but my computer is fucked up so im to lazy to wait for how slow it is going.
Comment by dcnot420 on 25 September 2008:
i meant to say somewhere in there that he says fuck it i only want to date /find myself attracted to indian women.that is where his fetish goes into full on preference.im going to try to get on a better computer cause this one is fucking up.and i hate typing on slow computers.
Comment by dcnot420 on 25 September 2008:
also the staska chick on here who is the 2nd post reiterates my fetish claim she said she fantasized about white men.in my ex:i was trying to show how someone can see someone of another culture/race and then from that day on seem to see more of the same people of that culture/race and there fetish can then go from a full on fetish to a so called full on preference.that is all a prefernece really is a fetish that is full blown.people on here that get mad about the word fetish are getting mad because they have always associated the word fetish with something bad.and they dont want themselves labeled as a fetishist when they really are.i should of wrote my ex better,because it sounds horrible after i read what i had wrote.
Comment by jenny on 28 September 2008:
Just wanted to say that the black men who are on this board complaining like little girls should go elsewhere to do that! I’m realy not buying into the ‘woe is de black man’ sob story, when the truth is that bm hurt and degrade bw more than the other way around.Has anyone ever stoped to think why a bm would even be on this message board? Especially when there are more bm with ww than bw with wm. Sureley they could have found a forum about bm/ww.lol
Comment by jenny on 28 September 2008:
PLEASE IGNORE Mr. Queens! HE is on all the interracial boards for bw and wm and harassing them. CW(black women deserve better) and Evia’s(bw interracial blog) have all banned him and so now he’s here. I wonder how many bm/ww boards he’s harassing.lol, let me guess… none.lol!GEEZ, WHY DO BLACK MEN THINK THAT ONLY THEY ARE ENTITLED TO SOME swirl love?LMAO;)
Comment by jenny on 28 September 2008:
Mr. Queens makes me crave vanilla even more ;p
Comment by In Ya Face on 28 September 2008:
I just want to send a shout out to all the women who love Black men. For the rest of you women, you can get the boot; you’re no good for a Black man anyway.
Love peace and happiness to all the women who love Black men; you are the best….
Ya boy,
MrRealMan.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 28 September 2008:
Here we go
The sellout black women from the other “forums” making comments about me because I am made a compliment to a black woman on this board. The audacity of these women really amazes me.
For the record I post on Sara Board and sometimes she post my commentary. This board does not practice censorship like you sellout black women like to do on your boards.
I can never understand the anger you have for black men when you had your legs up in the air for us before you met a white man. You wasn’t saying this when you moaning and bending over for us lol.
When your relationships fall apart with black men because of “your” bad decisions now you kick sand at us and pretend you always wanted to be a white man. I am aware of the exceptions, the black women that said they “always” date white men all along. Usually those black women that only dated white men, had “thick glasses, braces, and self-hate issues.
I want you to be happy with a white man, but do not put black men down because your pathetic. 80 percent of those sellout black women boards talk about us anyway! They may mention white men in the context of hating on us lol.
Simply amazing
New Post on Lakeview Terrace the movie review.
Finally a movie that gives you the black man’s perspective on sellout black women. “Something New” was a joke. These sellout black women think it is black men in the “lower socio economic scale” that think they are a sellout. There is many professional and affluent black men that hate it to.
I am gone
http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
Comment by churchgirl on 28 September 2008:
With me its just my preference. I like variety. I like my crayola box to be different from anyone else’s lol There is nothing wrong with the black man at all. Some have awesome qualities. But its just my preference.
Actually this website says it all for me. “its ok to color outside the lines.
Its funny to me also because I am a prechool teacher.
Comment by tatted2death on 29 September 2008:
oh wow…when did every “Hollywood” movie that comes out suddenly become a documentary????. I have yet to see Lakeview Terrace….but from my understanding race doesn’t really have that much to do with race, per se (yes there is an interracial couple in it and a black man….the relevance of those facts is questionable at best.) I am sure that race is NOT inconsequential in the movie but certainly that is done purely for sensationalism. The core plot, if there really is any, probably hinges more on universal “thiller” aspects rather than making it totally about race….but if I am wrong then I STILL WIN because I probably won’t waste my time and/or money to see the piece of tripe..LOL. I am NOT that “thirsty” to see bw/wm relationships on the silver screen….(for the record….I did NOT think “Something New” was the greatest thing either…LOL)
I have heard some others speak of the movie the same way; saying “That should be a warning to all black (”sellout”….LOL)women that think they can get away with dating a white boy”…..
I find these sort of scare tactics hilarious…..why would a hollywood movie change what my decision to date “inclusively”????(you know that sort of thinking is why so many people believe black men are mostly criminal-minded….PEOPLE NEED TO STOP BUYING THE MEDIA HYPE>>>>PERIOD!!!).
I guess I might just be part of that “white-out” club, Beauty…..LOL
Peace
tatted2death
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 29 September 2008:
Dear Tatted
Like “you said”, you never saw the movie. Therefore your opinion on it would not make sense just like your post. The movie is not totally about race, but race plays a “key factor” in the movie. I saw some sellout black women on this board rip into “DJTEEL”. They called him a “nazi” and other “things” not worth mentioning. Simply because he said he “could not date” a black woman because they like R&B and Rap music. A white man that does not like R&B and dating a black woman is strange in itself but I digress.
Samuel L Jackson’s character has friends of difference races and still felt the same way he did about interracial dating. The White guy in the movie had a friend say “Yea I need me a black girl too” in a derogatory manner.
I am aware it is an Hollywood movie, I am also aware when “Something New” came out they praised it as the “best interracial movie made”. Considering the White man in the movie was a landscaper that has no dirt under his finger nails. I guess Hollywood could bring themselves to have Sanaa Lathan’s character have a man with the same level of education and career as her. That is another long story in itself.
As for this threat as “being a warning” to sellout black women. That is all hype to make black men look bad again. In the real world nobody gives a shit about who you date. In the real world a white man will date all other races of women before he dates a black woman.
Since I live in the black community I have not seen some mass exodus of black women to white men. White men rarely venture in the black community where black men are.
The movie Lakeview Terrace has realistic moments but in the end the movie goes Hollywood.
If you did not see the movie, you cannot formulate an opinion.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 29 September 2008:
The Bronx Tale was the most on-point movie for showing the real trials and tribulations of dating outside your race. Something New was really good but not great, buuuuuut it did have my wife in it so I liked it more. Guess Who was more of the quirky light-hearted version that I liked but didn’t agree with how “easy” it made that whole situation feel. The original was better. I used to think Tyler Perry was completely bias, but he’s had his moments where I was like “oookay Tyler, I see you”
Comment by BronzeEra71 on 2 October 2008:
I only semi-qualify as a black woman — being half & half and never having met my black father. However, if the woman in the photo can be called black, then I certainly can.
I want to bring a new reason into the mix, because I’m curious whether this comes into other people’s rationales for deciding whom to date:
I HATE being stereotyped!!! I find it supremely annoying that many people assume that I date only black men, just as a redhead would resent it if people expected her to date only redheaded men… In my (admittedly imperfect) mind, it’s right in there with people thinking I should wear dark, bold patterns and large gold jewelry.
Coming from a family of very stubbornly independent-minded Scots-Irish, I have a strong resistance to doing what people tell me I’m ’supposed’ to do. This most definitely restricts my options, and I’ve quite possibly missed out on some wonderful men. But I just can’t make myself fit into that damn box.
Incidentally, after years of refusing to look at black men, I did fall in love with and date a black man for a while, and the day-to-day black culture in our city (Portland, OR) just turned out to be too uncomfortable and foreign for me (that includes the man himself). So now I have a preference for white men both because we’re culturally compatible and to confound people’s narrow stereotyped expectations.
Comment by In Ya Face on 2 October 2008:
Most of you all would call it discrimination or racist if a white employer didn’t hire blacks because he preferred only whites. It amazes me how some black women on here would say they only date white men. Isn’t that discrimination and racist too???
Whatever you wanna call it, who cares? I can guarantee you that black men are not losing any sleep over women who don’t date them. Do you realize how many women out there love Black men? MANY!!! So therefore, all you women that only date white guys, it’s no lost to the Black Man; you are irrelevant… remember that.
To all the women who love Black men, love and respect to you. As far as the rest of you all, go stand in the corner and face the wall…
Enough time wasted here; I’m out.
Ya boy,
MrRealMan
Comment by tatted2death on 3 October 2008:
Mr. Queens….
You really ought not say what I can comment on seeing as how you are repeatedly “speaking for the white man” in saying…. “In the real world a white man will date all other races of women before he dates a black woman.”….. So YOU know every white man that has ever dated a black woman????….YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET REAL if that is truly what you believe. What world are YOU living in, Mr. Queens, since you obviously seem to give more than a “DAYUM” about who black “sellout” women are dating??
You are right, my little opinion on a movie that I will probably never see matters not….but I can express what I feel about it nonetheless (I have friends who have seen it and the trailers sum it up rather well actually….so guess what….I CAN formulate an opinion on it….you’d be surprised at how many PAID critics actually never really see the movies they review).
I have seen “Something New” and again just because the couple was interracial didn’t make it ALL about that……if you can take off your “color” glasses for a minute you can see that the story does have some underlying themes that have absolutely nothing to do with race as well. There WAS a point to making the Simon’s character “blue-collar”….again it really didn’t have anything to do with race. (I know this because I have personally corresponded with the writer, thank you…LOL).
“Since I live in the black community I have not seen some mass exodus of black women to white men. White men rarely venture in the black community where black men are.”
Mr. Queens….this really is just ANOTHER thinly veiled threat…come on, you are only MAKING YOURSELF LOOK BAD (NOT ALL BLACK MEN) when you make statements like that.
I don’t dismiss everything you say simply because you have obviously no authority to label all black women who date white men as “sellouts” (yeah you try and say some “might” not be….but your view it still pretty narrow). And I don’t think ignoring you will “make you go away” either. The valid points I have seen you express are enough to let me know that you have a brain and eventually you will grow tired….just as anyone else would. And anyone that is feeling like they are “wasting” their time here, PROBABLY IS.
I love real men….PERIOD. And I certainly can have respect for a man that can express himself (even against popular belief). But the insults are what will continue to get your views unheard, twisted, forgotten about, etc….
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by tatted2death on 3 October 2008:
Mr. RealMan (if you are NOT truly “gone”….LOL)
I think your first paragraph made some sense, but allow me to play devil’s advocate here (pun intended….loving the “blue-eye devil”….LOL).
Let me ask you this….can you draw any correlation to who a black woman dates to the economic breakdown of ANY race?? Can you honestly say that if a black woman decides not to date you that you may not be able to eat tomorrow or have a place to live???. My point is that true discrimination (the kind that anyone could ever dream of changing) can really only be defined by the impact it has on a community as a whole. The systematic and biased hiring practices of the white employer you referenced can not really be compared with a woman’s right to say she won’t date what she doesn’t like. Just like a man who might say he doesn’t date “big” women…..That is his preference and while it may limit him it has little effect on the “plight of the big woman” (if there is any…..LOL). Like you said for every black woman who is not dating black men there are plenty more that are….WE need to stick with that sort of thinking across the board and NOT take is so personal just because one person (or a thousand….there are too many people in the world for this shyt) says that would rather not date you…..WHATEVER THEIR REASONS ARE>>>>>>>WHO GIVES A DAYUM…..
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 3 October 2008:
Clearly Tatted likes being a sellout black girl.
Mr Realman made some valid points even though there was some “theatrics” involved. Black women dating outside their race is “the breakdown” of the black community. Just like if a black woman gets “ill” or suffers from illnesses like diabetes and other “problems” it does affect the black community. Some people on this board have this idea that “love” solves all problems.
That is quite an idealistic notion but that is not always the case. As for the white employer thing, that is a double edge sword. College educated black people have a less than one percent unemployment rate. Black women in particular with a college degree like myself, on a whole, have a 99 percent employment rate. I never believed in the idea “that the white man holds me back” deal.
Black women have a right to date outside their race. The problem is they do it for the “wrong reasons” to spite black men. Until you admit that then you will always have a problem. Personally I do not understand the hostility of sellout black women.
Even if you are with a white man and have children with him. Those kids “are black”, that is the bottom line. My father’s best friend is white and married to a black women. I have been friends with his biracial daughter and son my whole life. I am 30 years she is 30 and her brother is 25.
My father’s White best friend “George” is cool. The problem is he can’ come to terms with his biracial daughter dating a black man unless it ” was me”. Since he known me since I was a baby.
That whole dynamic would be another long story. I wonder if white guys on the board with a biracial daughter would let their daughter date a black man?
If you answer, be honest, and do not bullshit.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 3 October 2008:
Dear Tatted
I just read your previous post.
You said this
“You really ought not say what I can comment on seeing as how you are repeatedly “speaking for the white man” in saying…. “In the real world a white man will date all other races of women before he dates a black woman.”….. So YOU know every white man that has ever dated a black woman????….YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET REAL if that is truly what you believe. What world are YOU living in, Mr. Queens, since you obviously seem to give more than a “DAYUM” about who black “sellout” women are dating??”
Let me say it again since I was not CLEAR ENOUGH. White men date black women LAST, they would rather date a white woman, Asian, Latin and then a black woman. That is REALITY, now you talk about exceptions to the rule. That is just that “EXCEPTIONS” to the rule.
You also said this
“I have seen “Something New” and again just because the couple was interracial didn’t make it ALL about that……if you can take off your “color” glasses for a minute you can see that the story does have some underlying themes that have absolutely nothing to do with race as well. There WAS a point to making the Simon’s character “blue-collar”….again it really didn’t have anything to do with race. (I know this because I have personally corresponded with the writer, thank you…LOL).”
Something New, do not let me get started about that. The White boy was a landscaper with not dirt under his fingernails and no dirt in his “wavy blonde hair”. Then I think he lived on the “outskirts of Mexico”. Black women will not live in a dirty road off Mexico in a White Boy’s Old Wrangler Jeep. I took my “color” glasses off and I actually thought the White guy in ” Something New” was a good dude. It was Sanaa Lathan characer who was confused, messing with black men and then running back to the white boy.
You said this
“Since I live in the black community I have not seen some mass exodus of black women to white men. White men rarely venture in the black community where black men are.”
Mr. Queens….this really is just ANOTHER thinly veiled threat…come on, you are only MAKING YOURSELF LOOK BAD (NOT ALL BLACK MEN) when you make statements like that.”
How is that a threat????????? because I said the truth that I rarely see White guys in my neighborhood. I am telling the truth, I do not threaten anybody. I live in Laurelton Queens near Springfield Gardens. Go research it and see the demographics of the area.
You said this
“I love real men….PERIOD. And I certainly can have respect for a man that can express himself (even against popular belief). But the insults are what will continue to get your views unheard, twisted, forgotten about, etc….”
Man listen you need a real black man like me to lay it down on you so you can see the light. I like intelligent women and you are that. You just simply like to put your head in the sand when it comes to race and life. Most black women are like that and I accept that.
That is all I can say
Comment by tatted2death on 3 October 2008:
Clearly Mr. Queens can stand the smell of his own shit when it’s thrown back in his face and hates when he can’t silence a strong woman of color (judging from the way he fell back so easily on the “sellout” label rather than address me directly on the points I DID make).
***for the record, I TRIED to treat you like an intelligent human being on this board everytime but since you are resorting to directly calling a sellout for no good reason (you didn’t give one so their for I think the only one might be because I challenge a black man to think beyond his comfort zone….Is that what makes me a sellout?????Rhetorical…..DON’T answer….I know you will…..LMAO)..I have no other choice but to ignore you from this point on…..I wish you all the best in whatever personal endeavors you might venture to acheive*****
I love to be me and no one can tell me how to best to that. If sellout means that I don’t “BUY IN” to anyone else’s perception of me than HAIL TO THE YEAH I LOVE being a “sellout”. Chew on that.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by tatted2death on 3 October 2008:
ok….Kudos, Mr. Queens for addressing my post…(a little to late since you still chose to just label me a sellout and say I have my head in the sand but oh well).
I am glad you saw some of the same things I saw in Something New. I thought it was pointless for Sanaa’s character to flip-flop the way she did….if I was Simon I would have told her to kick rocks…LOL.
My head is not in the sand, dear man…AND have seen the light and it happens to reflect all the colors of the rainbow for me….I love you just as I love any man…..hail, any person that breathes and knows that they have a place in the world and take a stand in it……you continue to have my respect..
But my heart may happen to belong to a man that may not share your skin color but certainly will have your passion; this is why I would be with him ….never stop having that, man….it keeps you young at heart and alive.
Peace and Blessings (as always)
tatted2death
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 3 October 2008:
“That whole dynamic would be another long story. I wonder if white guys on the board with a biracial daughter would let their daughter date a black man?
If you answer, be honest, and do not bullshit.”
Of course I wouldn’t care. If I did then I’d be a hypocrite. When I have a daughter, biracial or not, her happiness is most important. As long as the guy treats her with the dignity and respect she deserves then you can be whatever color under the sun.
And everyone keeps summin’ up all white men as the same. It makes all the good points brought up by all you catz blurred by naive opinion. Based off a seemingly insecure feeling of strong black women realizing that the world is changing and there really are GOOD STRONG MEN out there don’t have to be black.
I mean, its kind of funny to me that there’s black men, especially in relationships, on an interracial dating site hatin’ on open-minded sistas that are allllll over the united states and will continue on doing what they choose. Thats why they’re STRONG BLACK WOMEN. Not because they need a black man, but because they realize A STRONG MAN.
And it might hurt some ego’s, but tons of sistas I talk to in the clubs or where ever the convo comes up admit to really wondering whats its like with a white boy. OH NO, there might be an epidemic coming!!! The sky shall fall. The plagues may come in full force!!
haha.
Keep doin what y’all do ladies. You can always come hang out wit me.
Comment by Natanya on 4 October 2008:
Tampa_Chris
It may be better for the biracial girls to date black men. Black men treat those types of women like goddesses….
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 5 October 2008:
For your information.
All my girlfriends have been “dark skin”. I resent that biracial statement. Maybe white men would be better off dating white women instead of “putting them down.”
They always talk about black men with white women. They never have anything harsh to say about white men dating black women and “putting white women down”.
It is amazing how much restraint white women have on “putting down” white men. Yet black women verbally attack black men everyday.
Real pathetic.
Comment by 1rockgodess on 5 October 2008:
I tot we were in this room to give concrete reasons on why “some” b/w are into w/m. Whats this craze about sell out, animousity, ingenuity, nazi?
I f you’ve got problems with social issues such as this one why dont you sort yourself out rather go about causing the frictions for the lovers. To be understood you must first understand others, I mean I’ve been reading the comments for a while now and I decided to pop in a thing or two. first of all this is suppose to be an interacial dating site and this is gradually turning into a war of the sexas cum races or whatever is suppose to actually describe this menace of ugly emotions. The thing is if this site pisses you off so much why dont you back your bags because if you’ve never heard of it, hurray!!! good news there’s a word called “EXIT” do exit in peace and stop causing un-necessary havoc here. calling names, using insults, rude language and down talking people that alone speaks about how you see yourself… 
If I were seeking a guy to date whether black/white with such attitude thats a definite noooo for me… terrible outlook on the world I must say. I’m a black girl who lives in d u.k, there’s not much of interracial dates going on in here but like I said in some other chat blog in here I’m open to anybody so long as there’s a special feeling for that person. Truth be told I’m greatly appaulled by the inane and witless remarks I’ve heard so far. To b/w please I urge you to do what you want cause there’s one life and you gotta live it right not to hate yourself in the long run and some people have to understand that you cannot be of the same race blk wht mxd red blu or whatever you call it. Start living in reality is all I have to say to this so-called humans who live in this reverie of purely white r/ships or purely blk r/ship and to those who say they dont like or want black women PLEASE THE TITLE OF THE BLOG SAID “SOME!” black women so those who want to die in the white or black kingdom without experimenting suit yourself. By the way didnt step in to criticize a soul just trying to push some sanity in here and if you think there’s really much wrong with this be warnedd there’s venom and much horrifying racial statements you dont want to hear.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 6 October 2008:
Good thing, Mr. Laurelton has only ONE opinion and has only ONE life to live and that is his own…… lol…lol…
Comment by Andy on 6 October 2008:
Who cares?
Everyone will be a shade of brown in a few hundred years and all this talk will be redundant.
Marry who you like and go for it. It’s your life and it’s for life.
Comment by tatted2death on 8 October 2008:
so true (or something like it…LOL), Andy….I like how your mind works
To Tampa Chris….I continue to be a fan of your posts; NOT simply because you are a white (light-skinned…lol) male but because you seem to, without fail, inject some common sense into this “controversial” (tired) subject. I agree that it is awfully unfair that some on here choose to lump all white men together yet they want to be seen as “separate” from the stereotypical black male. Are they ONLY “exceptions”???? Or should the whole tired stereotyping method be ousted as a viable means of judging someone??? Doesn’t take a Phd holder to see the answer there.
hey Chris, if I am ever in Florida again I might have to take you up on that offer…LOL. (I like the new pic/look, btw.)
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
P.S. As for the whole bi-racial/light-skinned woman thing (Natanya’s comment). I think this is a myth. Many times I have been subject to dating a black guy that (openly) is either “coming back” from dating a bunch of white women or is “on his way” to dating white and other women…..I refuse to be a stepping-stone in that way….but it IS interesting that Mr. Queens responded the way he did……so he obviously admits to being biased against (or maybe just having a preference…..WOW)”light-skinned”/bi-racial women….VERY INTERESTING. Then maybe it shouldn’t bother him that much when many of those same women HE DOESN’T want find love elsewhere.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 8 October 2008:
I want to address all three of you. Tampa Chris, Tatt and Rockgoddess.
The implication that I do not “live in the real world” is a joke. I actually do, and you three “choose not to’. I have lived in Florida and people stayed in their own “racial group” for the most part. Certain “places” in Florida you cannot even venture into! So save me the holding hands “racial unity” garbage. New York is the same way, where I currently reside. As for my comments about dark skin women. My last two girlfriends were dark skin. Sellout black women like to say black men are only into “light skin women”.
See that is the fundamental difference between sellout black women and traitor white men that abandon their white women. They like to attack their own race and think there is something “noble” about that. Everyone harbors some type of “racial opinions” If they say they do not, their lying.
As for the “UK” Black girl, this is the thing. People get upset at my statements. As if I did not do the insults that opposition to interracial dating would “just disappear.”
You attacked black men for dating white women. White men attack black men for dating white women. Now you want people to have sympathy for you both because they are “picking on you.” Well I have no sympathy for none of you. Especially sellout black women who “out of their way” to attack black men. Even the black men that do not “date outside their race”.
I am 30 years-old, I grew up in the 80s when it was acceptable that white boys use to bully black men. Then Hip Hop came (Mc Hammer) era and then they started “moving away” from urban neighborhoods. They so called “White Flight”, when the tables turned and black males were in gangs. They avoided black males like the plague just like they currently do now.
If anybody going to pack their bags it will not be black men that is for sure. You take your sellout black girlfriend to your white suburbs and keep her their. I do not care if dress like Eminem trying to “fit in.”
I am gone
Good day
Comment by tatted2death on 8 October 2008:
why does he always tease us with that “I’m gone” tagline….
..LOL…
The opposition to “interracial dating” might not disappear right away… but if we are to move on/forward to even get close to any sort of REAL racial unity the propaganda MUST CEASE. If we sit back and accept the insults we are passively letting that “opposition” grow….it will be seen as “O.K.” and therefore more will continue to do it…(like Chris said “opposing” something that really has nothing to do with you is NOT in line with reality) What is REALLY funny is that, sort of like what Andy said, not too far into the future even the word “interracial” will probably be archaic and obsolete.
It’s just sad because when that happens many people will lose their “purpose” in life….not having anyone to ridicule or look down on any more (ok …I KNOW that is fantastical….HUMANS WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING TO TEASE ONE ANOTHER ABOUT…lol). They certainly will have to find themselves new hobbies at the very least.
It’s also sad that it is apparent that most of the “opposition” has it’s own self-hate issues to deal with and a lot of childhood “scars” that refuse to heal. They will NEVER be happy until others are just as miserable as them so of course anyone that is truly HAPPY is NOT REAL to them. When some speak of the “opposition” it seems like they are loving the fact that there simply is (”always going to be”) “opposition”…..makes ya wonder.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 8 October 2008:
I read all the commentary.
Please excuse me I am eating a sandwich while I am on my lunch break talking to you people. You made several references to “opposition”, I really do not know why people feel that their the victims against people “hating on them”. Not to long ago you could not even date outside your race “legally’ in the United States.
Now it is acceptable which is fine but the whole reason behind it can be argued. Somebody said about past scars from childhood. Yea sort of like the sellout black women that claim “black men did them wrong” so their going to white men. I think you forgot to mention that.
The fact you feel you should limit my speeches is because “more people are going to feel like me” is insulting to people that have their own opinion. I cannot make you hate interracial relationships. I cannot make you agree with it either. I just express my opinion from my experiences and the people around me.
I doubt “human teasing” was derogatory names said to each other over face. I do not consider that teasing. You all jumped on DJTEEL when he said he wouldn’t date a black girl because she likes R&B and he likes country music. The people on here damn near crucified him. They called him a nazi, once again their is no affirmative action in dating.
As for the comment of misery loving company. Some of the most miserable people I have met have been sellout black women. They can have “it all” with a white man and still want to stick their fat nose into what black men are doing. White men do not even do that. They don’t sit there and wonder what the white girls are doing if their in an interracial relationship with a black woman.
You need to wonder why your head is in the sand.
Peace and Blessings
Mr Laurelton Queens
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 8 October 2008:
Mr Laurelton Queens,
I would hope you would then agree with your previous statement in regards to these women on this blog. You keep trying to define this “sellout black woman” if there is such a thing other than a Black woman saying, “I wish I were White.” I don’t think any of these women would be saying that as they seem like Strong Intelligent Women, Black, White, or other.
One of your repetitive points is the Black women’s constant barrage of down-grading the Black man and how women are dating all these white men because they’ve given up on Black men in a sense for various reasons.
If we look back on most of these women including the ones primarily in these discussions they have openly expressed their love for all men and agree that there are good Black men out there as well as White men, etc. I think they’re just hating on you no matter what color you are. It just so happens you’re Black and you know how to push their buttons in a very easy forum, i.e. an interracial dating site.
It just seems that in many of your posts you’re trying to call out these women on here as sell-outs, and if not directly certainly indirectly (ladies do you agree?)
You would have to admit that these women are bringing up extremely intelligent and interesting points and its not any bias on this side because i’m White. And don’t get me wrong I have seen a lot of good points on your side too. But it’s not like these women are out on just a random site screeming “I only date White guys!” or “I hate Black men!” They’re simply on a site that they can relate with. You found us.
These are professionals, Mother’s, Daughters, Sisters, and beyond all (no matter what you may think they are), Strong Black women. Have a lil more respect as you came from that same woman. The same reason why I am not a “traitor” because, one, I do date White women, and two, my Mother and Sister are White and are my World along with the rest of the ladies in my family. I would expect a stronger argument from you, especially after reading my posts, than these generalizations of a White male. We’re not all nerdy, corporate office, no swagger havin’, got my Black girl to make a point, “Black Talkin’”, insecure, trying to be Black, catz that you may have come in contact with or lost an ex-girlfriend to.
To me, more so, it is beautiful that different people are able to open themselves up and work toward this racial unity that you simply write off as “garbage.” That seems very pessimistic of you and I feel bad if that’s the outlook you have in life. The mentalities of all the good people on these sites are the reason that there isn’t segregation laws anymore. You should be thankful of these women and men who outreach in the hopes of understanding. I don’t think Martin Luther King would think that’s “garbage” as he died in his hopes for such a Unity. And also if you really think God would say, “Um, Chris, you dated a Black girl. You did everything right except that so you’re going to Hell.” I don’t think so. It’s gonna happen all over these UNITED States wether you like it or not.
I don’t know you, but you are more and more coming off as the Black guy who can’t catch a break b/c of the White man, or the System, or whatever it is you have angst towards at that moment. Who claims that every White guy that is around the Black community if frontin’ and as you say it, playing the Eminem card. My brother, (which I call you b/c we’re all men under God), I think you have many issues that seem to stem from some sistas and White women that played you. I would think a strong Black man whose happily married wouldn’t waste his time on an interracial dating site dissin’ these women.
Uh oh I said “diss” Is that okay???
In dissssssbelief,
Chris
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 8 October 2008:
Dear Tampa Chris
I call black women who date white men “sellouts”. That happens to be the truth. It may have a negative connotation to it but I use those words for a reason. It does inflame the argument when I use those “kinds of words” I understand that. Just like the race traitor comment might have been harsh. The race traitor comment had to be used because “other people” would feel that way that was not black. They would call Tampa Chris a race traitor.
I try to bring a harsh reality to this subject because it needs to be talked about. I agree the black women on this board is very intelligent or the debate would not have raged on this long. I like was Tatt had to say and I often go home and think about what people say here. Depending if I am bored or got time on my hands.
You make a point about this “board” as far as black women saying they would date “all men”. That is a true statement and I would disagree with you. Perhaps if the spotlight was not on them they would feel differently.
Now Tampa you are in academia, the racial unity thing is “garbage”. You live in Florida and your going to tell me everybody is holding hands. Let’s even go with your theory that I am pessimistic. Then you would have to argue that you have never had any “racial stereotypes” in your head ever in your life. If you say you did not then I think your lying.
Martin Luther King Jr never wanted no unity. He said that to get the black middle class their fair rights in this country. It was a “Black middle class” movement. If it was not for extremists like “Malcom X” who were not “middle class”, legislation would have not been done during Martin Luther King Jr’s era. Martin Luther King’s father was a well off preacher that sent his son to the best “Black College” in Atlanta. I will not go on about that.
As for a black guy that cannot “catch a break”, I finished college with a good G.P.A. I have a good job, I don’t know how that applies to me concerning this topic. It seems like your threatened by black men like me that see through hypocrites. You want to be with black women but no nothing about “Black culture”. You want to be with black women but no nothing about “The Civil Rights movement”.
In conclusion
No white man ever took a black woman from me. More like the other way around. As for my girlfriend she “hardly sees me”, I am always busy. Perhaps I should spend time with her. Maybe this weekend.
Good day
Comment by doodlebug44 on 8 October 2008:
Mr. Queens,
I have heard it all now.
“I call black woman who date white men sellouts”.
That is fine, but
“That happens to be the truth”. Not
That is your opinion not the truth.
Scott
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 8 October 2008:
Fair response but,
Where is your facts behind your “truth?” I know you’re more intelligent than to make something out to be actual truth that would definitely be seen to everyone else, except except pissed off Black guys, to be cultural angst. I like our discussions on here, but you kinda seem like a Hater. I’m a man. I would never hate on another man gettin’ the girl. No matter what color. And if a White girl dates a Black guy, awesome, hope they’re happy. What’s the next issue in life that actually deserves my time or concern?
And I would not say that we’re all holding hands. Far from it wherever you live, but I will say I work with many open-minded individuals from all cultures and it does give hope. The same hope that has a Black man a month away from being our possible leader. And he’s leading in the poles!!! Thats aaaaa lot of Black and White people that believe in unity, and then some on the other side that may not, or simply they do, but just don’t like Obama as a politician. To each is own I guess.
You’re an older gentlemen so I don’t think you would be able to relate with my/this college-age uprising for change. I think you have the old school mentality of cautiousness, which is understandable, but, well, old-school. A lot has changed since your days in school. You probably just fell to every day commonality and complacency. Your mind hasn’t been challenged in many years on a cultural level outside of the monotony of working 9 to 5 and finding time to go out and make to make your opinions or “truths.” The reality is our generation has and continues to. I thank the Blacks and Whites that paved the way for such opportunities to happen.
You see, though I will not go wit for wit with Civil Rights facts, I do indeed consider myself quite knowledgeable on the topic seeing that I studied it for most of my college/adult life. As well as the fact that through my work in the NAACP and Diversity Fellowship deep in the heart of the Black community and culture to this day I also feel my opinion would be considered. An opinion, but an educated one. You don’t get to me, but I feel it is resentful that you have in a discussion with an individual that has put himself on the line for the Black community and the cause and you’d just write me off as trying to be Black??? How inconsiderate. I’d be willing to put my continuing work in the movement against most. And never to rub it in anyone’s face, but rather to let others gauge the fact that people are truly different in ways more than bad and hateful.
You see Mr. Queens, in trying times I know I am a soldier doing work and making change and would die for my cause. A Martin mindset with a Malcolm militance. You seem like you may be a by-stander watching along such as many of the Black community Malcolm called out in his speech “The Ballot or the Bullet.” See, its not fun when people are just assumed in a position. I’m sure you are a very proud Black man judging by your quick trigger of the word sell-out. I am an individual and don’t think like everyone else. I would go crazy if I had a negative mentality like that of another. And frankly calling out anyone is negative, and I just simply am not leading with the words of my mother at age 10, “If you don’t have anything good to say, then just don’t say it.”
There is a deep mentality of a greater people that will eventually flush out the negative. As one has commented recently, “Everyone will be a shade of brown in a few hundred years and all this talk will be redundant.”
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 9 October 2008:
Oh my goodness, you guys are unbelievably patient! Give it up already because clearly he does not get it. I do love to read your very intelligent and thoughtful comebacks though, really makes me smile
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 9 October 2008:
Dear Tampa Chris
She is right, the lovely young lady “Swtgurl” said ” I don’t get it”.
I am aware you have participated in black organizations Tampa Chris. You asked me where my facts were. Well you can look at the statistics on blacks and whites and see if we have truly decided to integrate. I am also aware you are in academia, I studied sociology too. Now if you are going to tell me that racial groups are “hanging out together” then you are wrong. If you look exclusively at your own friendships that does not represent the whole society. I thought you knew this Tampa Chris.
I saw you may have lost your temper with that “pissed of black guys” comment. It is unlike you Tampa Chris to “generalize” like me. You tend to prove my theory, more than “disprove it.” You said I am a “hater”, I disagree how can hate anything when my skin color is black. I face hate everyday when a person locks their car door when I pass by. That is the reality I live in. You claim I am a bystander, you look the black community as “victims.” You got a false perception about me, Rev Calvin Butts was the President of my college. I think he is the only black man in the SUNY College system to run a college for some many years. Secondly Oliver McCall the former NYC Controller spoke at my graduation. I think he was the first African American to be the controller of New York City. Al Sharpton has spoke at my school several times.
Let me tell you something those black organizations fail to tell you. There are African Americans that do well in certain communities. Maryland, NY, Georgia, Florida and etc. I pulled myself up out my neighborhood South Jamaica Queens and became something. I do not have an obligation to help anybody else. Nobody ever says to a white person “Hey man go help your white trash homeys in the hood.” No that does not happen, so do not give me that argument about your participation in black organizations.
I applaud you for even “trying” to do something. Your one of the few white guys that I do respect considering I have no white male friends.
I am well aware that you have studied the Civil Rights movement. The Martin Luther King statement was my “own” opinion. The books about it are more accurate because I do not have a PhD. You said you have a Malcom X militancy, that is interesting militancy on what exactly? What are you “militant” about Tampa Chris?
I am 30 and I considered an “Old Man”. My brother is 25 and Tampa Chris I look at you like my younger brother. You do have good points but your idealism is going to be “tested”. I am not even “pro” black Tampa Chris. I think niggas do each other in more than a white person will ever do. I am a street dude that happened to get a college education.
White people, other than my own family, has done more for me than black people have done. My issue is with interracial dating. You white boys are wrong for what your doing.
You will not date a chubby black girl, a black girl in the hood. You will not date a black girl that has children. That the bottom line and I do!
Black men like me that support these black women, your just trying to get over on them!
Good day
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 9 October 2008:
Well Mr. Queens,
You have answered my question of why you have such a narrow perspective on white males. You simply don’t have any as close personal friends, and quite frankly, I think your pride won’t allow you to and thats too bad. You might be nice to my face in a social setting but never chill back and kick it. I’m a chill cat and I don’t think that alllllll the black friends that are extremely close to me are going behind my back and saying, I’m trying to “be down.”
I don’t think I’d be a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity if they wouldn’t have rooted me out as a poser.
Rather, they are part of my generation which, yes, you are too old to understand. In this civil rights movement of only about 50 years of progress vs thousands of slavery, your 6 year difference from mine equals to double of the positive change that you’ve failed to experience first hand.
Throughout the negative (i.e. locking doors, etc.) there’s been extreme amounts of positive change that many fail to see b/c the microwave age in which your generation was at the forefront of want things to change in a snap. Patience is truly a virtue my friend.
And I am militant in the fact that I would die for a cause, for my brothers, and my family if it came down to it. Martin in fact that I look into patience, love, and the good of people before resorting to violence.
I didn’t grow up in a all white picket fence suburb and my daddy wasn’t Mike Brady to say the least.
And I havn’t dated many “chubby black girls” just by chance, but I certainly have dated sistas from the hood and in corporate lifestyles. You best believe that. True, many of these white men, esp. in the movies, are dating black professionals, but again, NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE ARE THE SAME. And I have also dated a couple black women that had kids, but do to my age, not that many. If I like her then I like her. Having children is a part of life. So where is your bottom line now? I wonder, Mr. Queens, if you are an intellect for the purpose of gaining new knowledge and broadening your mind, or simply looking for new ammunition to combat other peoples ideals?
Let me try one of your approaches here and see what you think b/c if you can do it, hey, anyone can…
White men do in fact support these strong Black women men like you disgrace and write off and rather than just “get over on them” marry them, believe in them, treat them like Queens, and help the evolution of the unity of humanity. Its going to happen from this day till the end of days and guess what, in much much larger numbers. Deal with it.
Mr. Queens you are merely a speed bump in our society and you may be 30 years old, but you have a 1960’s personality.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 9 October 2008:
Tampa Chris
I respect guys in the Alpha fraternity. That is why you have an interesting perspective from being a white guy and understanding how some black men feel. You made good points and I should broaden my horizons as far as having more “White friends.” I would not say it is because of pride. It is more like what do we have in common. Your different in the sense I figure most of your friends is black males.
You want to distinguish yourself from “the typical white male.” I do not think all white men live a “good lifestyle” and always had things easy for them. But you will never experience the same things black men go through. Your white skin affords you the privilege to be looked at differently.
You mention the “new generation”, that I am an “old timer”. I think you must a black man in white white skin because I am 30-years-old LOL. I may have an old school way of thinking but you will see the past often comes back to haunt people when “things get rough.” The economy is going downhill, people are becoming more polarized. The reason I mention the economy and politics is because when times get tough we always go back to our “true nature.”
Seems like your multicultural “generation” thinks dismissing race will make it go away. Yes we have made progress in the country. We have also had setbacks also. My patience grows thin for those who “ride off black men” to get in the good graces of black women.
You mention interracial dating will continue on regardless of what I say. This is the problem, if your a white male having a child with a black woman that child is “Black”. Someone is going to say “na they are biracial”! No! they are black period end of story! It seems the speed bump in society might be you because “the pure Aryan white male” is becoming less in numbers.
Since you seem to agree with this scenario and I am indifferent to it. That simply means their will be more black women just different shades regardless if their parent is white.
I guess interracial dating is not bad after all.
If you were to put it in that context.
The White race “traitor” has always been a friend to the black man.
Good day
By the way how the hell you became an Alpha Chris?
You told them you part “Native American or Hispanic.”
Amazing
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 9 October 2008:
In closing,
I will have to agree with a lot of your latest post. I think you bring up many good points, just sometimes say things to erupt disucussion in a devils advocate role wether you agree or not.
I do agree that me being white allows privileges beyond that of the black community and I would never argue that, only work hard to utilize these privileges to impact the movement. That white man who “rides off Black men” and is a poser, and the whole nine is out there I’m most sure.
But rest assured it is not within all of us and that is what I hope you will take from this.
And my child, if she/he is bi-racial, will embody both races and she/he will with be well educated on how to be a strong woman/man proud of both her backgrounds.
Anyway, I’ve grown tired of this conversation cuz again, no matter what it will happen regardless of what anyone says. This is only one White man in one of the many hundreds of interracial dating sites amongst the thousands upon thousands of beautiful Black women that know whats up and have love for catz like me.
And no, I did not tell Frat nor the masonry I was Native American or Hispanic. True, the Devine Nine is historically African-American, but that only tells you how true I am because, well, if you know than you’d just know. I am proud of my cultural background and would never say I am something I am not. If you had any remote idea of what I’ve been through to get to where I have to be right now (not saying you don’t) then you would truly know I am no poser, traitor, or any other term you may use about White guys. And you best believe I have a line of brothers, strong Black men, that would die for me as I would of them.
Blessed day rather than good day
Comment by dimplessss on 10 October 2008:
It’s been a minute since I was last here and I must say, the last few posts have been interesting and enlightening to say the least.
To Tampa Chris,
Skee-Phi Frat!! I wish I’d have known, the Alphas had a HUGE convention here back in July, I’d have told you about it.
Dimplessss
Comment by 1rockgodess on 10 October 2008:
Where are the lovers?.. forget the haters/opposers who want to take pain relievers for what is suppose to be your headache! phew!!!!!! its a pitiful thing to live in such grief pretending beat and going out of your way to aggravate people thereby causing a social nuisance…(now thats some serious issue someone’s got) how long would this harsh emptiness countinue? cause truely their loads of word and empty cause I could never see how a mind like that works in the 21st century…
Comment by DJTEEL on 11 October 2008:
1.I NEVER SAID I DISLIKED BLACK PEOPLE.
2.I NEVER SAID I SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH INTERRACIAL DATING.
3.WHITE BLACK ASIAN,HISPANIC,ETC..WE’RE ALL EQUAL AS HUMAN BEINGS IN ALLWAYS. all i said to be called a nazi here is that interracial dating isn’t for me.as i said,i grew up with white folk and have always hung with and had white friends.it’s a comfort zone i suppose ,but alot of people are this way as a lot of people hang only with others of their own race..it doesn’t make someone racist.normal people would understand exactly what i’m meaning without calling me racist.my preference is to date within my own race but i don’t have bad intent or feelings toward people due to the color of their skin.some of oyu people make me out to be some kind of racist i guess for the reason i don’t leave my self open to interracial dating. i see nothing wrong with it if that is someone’s preference.it’s not an issue that can be held against someone simply because they’re not open to it themselves personally.the world is full of blacks that only hang with and date blacks and hispanics that hang with and only date other hispanics and so on..that doesn’t mean that they hate or dislike others people of other races. i’m not a nzi ‘nor am i a racist.i have to wonder how in the world someone who reads what i’m saying interpets it as racism/.
Comment by 1rockgodess on 11 October 2008:
Thanks for clarifying yourself DJTEEL. Everyone cannot be the same and we understand that, besides who would force you to do therwise? That is your personal opinion and feeling which we recognise as banal. Yes there are conservative people and the avant-garde people. Stick to whats best for you, the bottomline is, are you happy? It’s not every white man that is for a black woman neither is it every black woman that is for a white man. The main thing I object to is people saying IR r/ships are not suppose to be and making nasty side comments. What can I say we all have our preferences and if we are happy with our choices what more do we need? be genuine to yourself.
There’s only 1rockgodess.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 October 2008:
Now DJTEEL wants to ‘clarify himself” on why he is not interested in black women.
Sounds like crap to me, he just dug himself in a deeper hole than he was in before. Perhaps sellout black women want to believe him because he “could have not wanted to be with a black woman”.
He just wants to save “face” and backtrack on his statements, which is understandable.
I may disagree with “Tampa Chris”, but he has never fed me bullshit like this DJTEEL guy. At least Tampa Chris has “integrity” and if the Alphas are down with him that is good enough for me.
The sellout black woman’s Achilles heel is being to forgiving. Ultimately that is their downfall.
Good day to everyone
Comment by luvanurse on 12 October 2008:
THe whole black race is too forgiving to everyone else but each other.
Comment by luvanurse on 12 October 2008:
THe whole black race black men and black women is too forgiving to everyone else but each other.
Comment by 1rockgodess on 12 October 2008:
Now whats going on? DJTEEL never said he likes b/w. He is still saying the same thing. “he is not into b/w but doesnt hate them” what is there to be angry about or be unforgiving about. The main person I blame is himself for spitting out his first comment on this blog where everything one says is to be miscontrued.
Where were we again? DJTEEL aint a subject, the major reason we are here is to give logical reasons on why some black women are into w/m. PLEASE CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME? Topics like this do spark up my curioustiy and plzzz Mr queens no poisonous statements…I’ve heard enough!
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 12 October 2008:
Listen Rockgodess
DJTEEL said his statements and he has to live with them. So stop trying to stick of for him simply because he his white. Apparently you do not care about his negative statements towards black women. Instead you took an opportunity to criticize me. How about showing a backbone and directly addressing DJTEEL.
Good day
Comment by DJTEEL on 13 October 2008:
In my first post i was ‘typing’from experiences i’d had in the past.it would be absurd,however to believe that ALL black women are the kind that i typed about in that post.for as many times as i’ve seen disciplined whites, asians,etc , i’ve encountered just as often, very atractive black women in public that are quiet,demure and alongside very disciplined children.it would be ridiculous to blanket statement black women into any certain type of corner just as much as it would be to do so to ANY race of people or either gender. .i know what i meant in my eralier posts and screw those who attempt at translating my statements into something that THEY believe i meant/
*****
i tried to point out at one point too,how since my feelings about today’s popular black music is something i loathe(rap ,hip hop and r&b)..noise..makes me wanna tear my ears off/.it was difficult as she found my music(very hard rock and metal,thrash music) to be annoying to a huge degree.when i think of how i feel about todays rap,hip hop and r&b,i remember how my parents(now in their 80’s and 90’s)hated rock music when i was young.to them it was noise and they had an intense dislike of it. this girl and i had total differences in interests and we felt very strongly about our own musical interests especially as music was 90% of our pass time when not involved in our jobs.allot of the music i listen to would equate to some calling it satanic,being that the softest stuff i listen to is ozzy osbourne and black sabbath.the hardest being nefalim.i actually,imo,1rockgoddess,you are totally awesome attractive.that really is your pic in your posts right??
Comment by 1rockgodess on 13 October 2008:
First of all there’s a guy who openly proclaims he hates b/w who date outside their race & then there’s another guy who says he just doesn’t feel b/w cause they never get to flow with him.
Mr Queens, I don’t care what you say to paint a picture I’m some kinda racist who prefers to stick up for a w/m rather than support her black brother. Enough already with the incessant barking. The thing is if you think DJTEEL is a coward who is not sticking to the things you thought he said, my point here is I prefer to stand up for an ethical coward who knows how to pretend in public he doesn’t loathe b/w than some black brother who has openly said he hates me because of my preferences. I really don’t care if you get it or not, I’m proudly a sellout if that’s what you think that word really means or whatever unprintable name you choose to call it. Your posts make me laugh, because everyone can see you’re fighting a loosing battle.
As for DJTEEL, that’s my photo and thanks for appreciating it. ROCK RULEZ MAN!
I have a few questions for you Mr Queens…
Did DJTEEL openly declare his “HATE” for b/w like you did?
Did he come here waging war against w/m going for b/w or vice-versa?
All he narrated was a past experience & what he just generally perceived about African american women. Note: I’m not saying what he felt was right but he just wasn’t ready to try again and I don’t think that is something to crucify him for, there are many more w/m there who are into b/w so?
You are the chief judge go on and appoint our partners to us god? since you know who is right for who.
My point is your effort here is futile cause no matter what you say or do, the black women here would do what they want to, like wise the w/m. So use your time for efficient things rather than waste it on things like this…but then again who knows you could do a lot god?
PEACE T’ALL WHO STAND UP FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN.
There’s only 1rockgodess.
Comment by tatted2death on 14 October 2008:
Wow…..go away for a week and WHEEEEEW!!!!!
Reading all the recent responses has taken a bit of time….but it was worth it.
It has reaffirmed my love for Tampa Chris and Mr. Queens…(YES….you read right…MR. QUEENS…LOL).
They both conducted themselves respectfully here and did not resort to any of your typical “blog-madness”. And you know what I actually think Mr. Queens is “getting it” even though he can’t “get with it”…LOL.
I will say this though….Mr. Queens.. I am glad that you seem to actually read and address Chris’ posts…..But WHY is it that you can’t really seem to do the same for the women here???? I mean, when I am talking about something you write I address you directly (unless I am trying to make a point about others that think similiar to you). You, on the other hand, always seem to twist ever so slightly the things I say to make it seem like we are in constant opposition ( I use opposition because of it’s meaning NOT because I am VICTIM of ANYTHING).
I, personally, had NOTHING to say to DJTEEL’s comments…. I saw them as his own personal experiences as he did not say anything specifically about the women on here. Mr. Queens, you on the other hand, continue to put all women of color who date interracially into a raggedy lil box, slap the ugly “sellout” label on it and throw it in the corner….not giving it a another meaningful thought. I just don’t know about that. I think it is dangerous for anyone to do that sort of thing. Looking at people as individuals IS a lot harder than grouping them….this is fact. But I think is one of the things neccesary to stop the madness of racial division (also SEXISM and any other kind of bias). You repeatedly say that I (us “sellouts”…maybe that’s what you really meant there) have my head in the sand. That would be impossible with all stereotypes that are shoved into our brains by the media. You have to be “militant” and fight just to keep your wits about you. Then there are people like yourself at every turn that see racial unity as a fallacy or a “pipe dream”. But then again….. I am sure that there are still others around that can honestly find ways to prove the earth is flat and the sun revolves around us….lol. There will always be some “opposition” but that is not actually a BAD thing. It will continue to give people something to compare their own thinking to which is sometimes just a necessary evil when it comes to the human mind.
Anyway…..I know I am running on here and yes, I tend to be more patient than most. But I must also give props to Mr. Queens for displaying the intelligence that he does possess…..if it weren’t for that I probably would have just ignored him.
****for the record I am a 33 year old woman that is NOT a “professional” nor did I graduate from college…..(goes to show you; you just NEVER know until you get to know THAT individual)….I’ve been tutored at LIFE UNIVERSITY and that plays a part in the fact that I could NEVER have my head in the sand on quite a few different issues…..AND just because you have a degree does not automatically make you “educated”…just a point to ponder.****
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 14 October 2008:
Dear Tatted and Rockgoddess
Rockgoddess that is the first time I have seen you lose your temper lol. I think you know I love black women despite their “sellout” tendencies. That is cool if you want to stick up for DJTEEL. I do not think he is a Nazi or even a racist. I do think he said something “that he felt” and got a beating for it.
Now you said you rather stick with an “ethical coward” that says to your face he is not interested in black women than somebody like me. Yea lol If it makes you feel better of course. I find it amusing since I have never dated outside my race. Yea I must loathe black women to date them for a majority of my adult life. Unlike DJTEEL that has to “muster” up the strength to tolerate being with you aside from sexually.
Let me answer your questions
“Did DJTEEL openly declare his “HATE” for b/w like you did?”
Um yea he said he does not like R&B, who dates a black woman and not like R&B???????????
“Did he come here waging war against w/m going for b/w or vice-versa?”
Uh yea because he did not say anything positive about black women. Come to think of it he still has not done so. He was defending his reputation like a man on death row.
You said you are from the UK. You just do not know any better.
As for Tatt
The media did not form my opinion on sellout black women. Sexism, I really do not know where that came from. You did mention you had nothing to say about DJTEEL comments because you had no backbone. That is perfectly understandable because it is hard for you to do that. I really have never backtracked on any of my statements unlike DJTEEL. DJTEEL made several stereotypes concerning black women as far as music. I doubt every black woman listens to just rap and R&B. Yet none of you said anything.
Then again I would not expect different. It is always harder for you to develop a backbone when a white man does something to you. You rather stick your head in the sand and pretend it did not happen. Or like Rockgodess point to all black men and say “they caused it”. Yea it was black men that made DJTEEL say he was not “interested in us”.
Man please
Comment by prettybrowneyes on 14 October 2008:
dddss
Comment by tatted2death on 16 October 2008:
LOL…..again with the twisting, Mr Queens?????(that REALLY must get exhausting for you).
Ok NOW you feel that I have “no backbone” because I did not reply to DJTEEL comments. Umm let me school you (just this once….LOL) since you obviously don’t know me and have no idea what you are talking about. LIKE I SAID BEFORE I, personally, had NOTHING to say to DJTEEL’s comments…. I saw them as his own personal experiences as he did not say anything specifically about the women on here. Yes there are some people that make music a big part of who they date (find that QUITE limiting but whatever……to each there own) and YES, some people in certain communities tend to ONLY listen to certain types of music…. (VERY resistant to giving anything else a chance)….this is a truth NOT an opinion. Now who am I to say that that has not been his experience. And if that is the reason he is giving for NOT dating black women I really have nothing to say because again I think people that get upset because one (or a thousand and one) person won’t date them are really sad and quite pathetic…..NEVER ME!!! I REPEAT…..he has never called names or tried to act like he had a “special hate-on” for black women. Maybe he got a bit riled when people started wrongly calling him a Nazi but I think I would have too. (people really need to educate themselves on certain terms before they go spewing them at others.)
As for you backtracking, Mr Queens….you really don’t have the need to do that when you try and “ride the fence” when it comes to how YOU address the white men in here….PERIOD. You try and “be cool” with them and that is ok, right???…..but when any woman of color does it, you see it as “holding him up”, not having a backbone or some other nonsense. Go back and read your own crap, man….lol. YOU attacked nearly every woman that had anything to say to DJTEEL on any level. If they even came across as liking rock/metal all you probably would have said is that just makes them more of a “sellout”. That smells a bit like a double standard with a hint of hypocrisy.
I plain and simple don’t like confrontation over B.S (unless I have the set the record straight about something). And whilst at times it has been interesting to go toe-to-toe with you (when you manage squeeze out some intelligence) this name- calling, insulting way you have about you is just waaaay too abrasive…..bordering on abusive. Just because this is an open public forum and you have the right to say whatever you chose doesn’t mean you always have to….show some restraint…..your personal opinions about someone you don’t even know on that level REALLY don’t matter and kind of make you look sorry. Is that the impression you are really trying to leave here????…I know you probably don’t care and IT SHOWS. It speaks volumes when you can’t even give more respect to someone that almost unconditionally gives it to you. Much luck to you because it seems that your own “shyt” will continue to elude you.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by tatted2death on 16 October 2008:
OK…..I went back and reread some of DJTEEL statements….(I actually didn’t get a chance to see one of them the first time around)…..AND now I remember EXACTLY why I didn’t feel the need to respond….Another( 8o/ ) woman already had done so (quite eloquently I might add…and NO, she did NOT attack him either…..THANKS POOKIE….lol). And exactly what I said happened DID…Mr. Queens jumped all the way down her throat.
I know sometimes people are just not in the mood for certain kinds of shyt….but hey I think I would have enough integrity to recognize my own and just let it be.
Comment by 1rockgodess on 16 October 2008:
Mr Queens your main aim here for me is clear; to cause ill feelings and acrimony amongst members and you bet its certainly not working on me.. you got to do better than that.
I’ve seen your earlier statements where you claimed that most if not all the b/w here almost crucified DJTEEL for expressing himself, now you call me a sellout because I don’t express resentment at him for his preferences. what are you saying? I mean what is your point and what is your “sellout theory” going to prove about the contradictory statements you’ve made, or don’t you think before you write anything? In case you didn’t read DJTEEL’s earlier post go back and read it carefully. He never said he dislikes or even hates black women… all he said was he was more comfortable with people of his racial background. Unlike detestable you who criticized both w/m and b/w here with sensible and insensible diatribes. Whatever you say is meant for you to believe & swallow hook, line & sinker.. you cant force it down my throat.
I’m from the U.K so? Does it make me any lesser a b/w or is it the cause I’m the sellout that your twisted mind has labelled me? You and your segregations… U.K black, American black, pure african, Caribbean african… black is black & white is white… it was people like you the slave masters hoped upon to separate their slaves and exact more control over them because you’re tuned to see colour in everything even within your own race… m ashamed your from my race and a poor excuse for an african or whichever one you choose to group yourself in.
Deal with your crap first hand, I think you should get help…this whole argument is unintelligible to me!!!!
Point at Mr Queens and blame him for DJTEEL not liking b/w? How deep has the hate sickness eaten up your mind that you can’t think properly? Where you blind where I said that DJTEEL isn’t the only w/m existing so why would I take his post personal or didn’t you read where I said I’m open to anybody… whether Asian or whatever colour as long as I feel blessed and there’s something special between us two, but nooooo! You will never see that but see things you suppose you will poke holes into and create brouhaha in the form of an argument. That’s pathetic, then again I didn’t loose my temper I don’t loose my temper on people who judge what they truly don’t understand.
There’s only 1rockgodess.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 16 October 2008:
I read the commentary that you both so eloquently put together.
Let me address tatted because she makes me smile. She said “simply because he has never called me names personally I do not care”. See that is where you go wrong, now if a black man called all black women bitches you would not hear the end of it. DJTEEL said his statement and I made a sarcastic statement like ” Look at them jump down his throat because he said he did not like black women because they don’t share the sames likes and dislikes as him”.
The problem with his statement in my own way of thinking. A woman will do some shit you will not like period! That is the nature of women, if she does not like “alternative music” should be the least of your worries. That is why I found DJTEEL comments amusing.
Secondly this thing about riding the fence concerning “white men”. I never rode the fence I called Tampa Chris a ‘race traitor”, I respect him though simply because he is in the legendary faternity that he is in, and he has integrity. I keep it real at the end of the day. Tampa Chris is the “analomy” in society. Most men stick within their race. I do not dislike DJTEEL either I just think he “backtracked” to save his reputation. Me, I am going to call a nappy headed black girl a sellout until I don’t care no more.
Third
I do care how you feel Tatted. If some of the things I say comes off abusive I will apologize. We do have interesting discussions.
As for the “UK” girl
You said this
“I’ve seen your earlier statements where you claimed that most if not all the b/w here almost crucified DJTEEL for expressing himself, now you call me a sellout because I don’t express resentment at him for his preferences. what are you saying?”
Pretty much!
You also said this…….
“He never said he dislikes or even hates black women… all he said was he was more comfortable with people of his racial background”
What a coincidence I like women in my own racial background and I get beat up for it!
You said this, and maybe, you was on that “UK Ganja” when you said it…………….
“I’m from the U.K so? Does it make me any lesser a b/w or is it the cause I’m the sellout that your twisted mind has labelled me? You and your segregations… U.K black, American black, pure african, Caribbean african… black is black & white is white… it was people like you the slave masters hoped upon to separate their slaves and exact more control over them because you’re tuned to see colour in everything even within your own race… m ashamed your from my race and a poor excuse for an african or whichever one you choose to group yourself in.”
So the slave masters used me a dark skin black man to seperate the slaves????????? Maybe they do not have black history books in the UK!!!!! No actually I was born in Jamaica and I am a “Maroon”. These dark slaves ran to the mountains of Jamaica to escape British control. While black women were held captive on the plantation. We use to “rescue you” and bring you back to the mountains. Imagine how hard that was when “being a house slave for the white master and sex slave was all you knew”. Do some research before you talk about slavery and the relevance to this conversation because you are all over the place.
Like I said, you are from the UK. You just do not know any better. So it is better to blame black men like me for your unhappiness.
Good day to you both
Comment by LemonPieFace on 17 October 2008:
Though I was raised in an atmostphere that promoted only black relationships and marriages and where IR relationships especially for black women were disapproved of, I have always felt attraction more attraction for white men. Eventhough I dated black men I still would have my fantasys about different handsome white men. I know that their are some good black men out here but all of my romantic relationships with black men had been awful but wasn’t until a close friend died suddenly that I realize that life was too short trying to live it to please others or their approval so then and there I decided only to date/marry white men, the men that I am really attracted to.
Comment by 1rockgodess on 17 October 2008:
Did you try to twist the things I said again? why not,since thats your specialty mr queens. If the slaves where proving stubborn to their masters, they got seperated by light skin, brown skin and darker skin tones in order for them to fight themselves rather than form an alliance against their plantation masters… you sound like an expert in this slave trade thing yet the common sense you lack wont let you understand what I was talking about.
If you are blind about what DJTEEL said then go back and reread his comments and narrate what he said as against what I said.
You dont get beat for being comfortable for women of your racial background, you get beat for down talking other peoples preferences.
Something is amiss, cause I can’t seem to come to terms with what you mean by, “This dark slaves ran to the mountains of Jamaica to escape British control black women were held captive on the plantation, we use to rescue you and bring you back to the mountains. Imagine how hard that was when being a slave for the white master and sex slave was all you knew.”
First things first, If you so cared that you saved my ass I wouldnt have been born here today. You really got problems thats why your living in the slave trade era referring to it like it is now cause I cant seem to feel what you’re talking.. I am from Britain and best know about slave trade than you ever would… let me shout it in your ears so you can get the message “THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY THERE’S NOTHING LIKE SLAVE TRADE!!!” If you still dont get go to the psychiatric hospital to get help.
return ur greetings.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 17 October 2008:
Dear UK girl
I do not twist what you said. You made a reference about slaves when you commented to me. I never brought up the topic. As for a history lesson in slavery you implied that I would fall for the white master “trying to sew division between the slaves”. Yet you are dating white men or are interested in white men. I would have to say you are “currently
still a slave mentality wise.
You reread DJTEEL comments because he did not say anything negative to me. You said yourself ” DJTEEL is comfortable in his own race”, just like I am. I really do not understand your argument.
Let me explain my background to you slowly. Maroons were dark skin slaves that the British could not break. These few slaves ran to the mountains to avoid “British slavery”. That is my ancestry. So your comment about me being “influenced” by the white slave master is bullshit.
You don’t seem to remember what you said.. let me remind you.
“You and your segregations… U.K black, American black, pure african, Caribbean african… black is black & white is white… it was people like you the slave masters hoped upon to separate their slaves and exact more control over them because you’re tuned to see colour in everything even within your own race… m ashamed your from my race and a poor excuse for an african or whichever one you choose to group yourself in.”
Listen try to remember your commentary. Stay focused.
Comment by BronzeEra71 on 18 October 2008:
Okay,
This is becoming no longer a public blog but an exclusive four-or-five-way conversation. Y’all might want to exchange phone numbers and make room for folks to come on here and explore the subject at hand.
The question is, “Why do some black women prefer white men?” NOT “Why should/shouldn’t black women prefer white men?” That belongs to an entirely different blog.
Frankly, if you’re not a black woman you have little credibility in attempting to answer the question.
LemonPieFace, I’m curious to hear why your relationships with black men were so awful?? (Since you made it plural, I have to assume there was some cause based in what they had in common.) What was it that would go wrong? Could it have been because you didn’t really want to be with them? = Or did you prefer white men because you didn’t get along with the black men around you?
Comment by BronzeEra71 on 18 October 2008:
p.s. I’d still like to know if anyone else goes for white men because they hate being put into a box and stereotyped?
Comment by 1rockgodess on 18 October 2008:
Bronze Eea71 tell that to mr queens who keeps doing stereotypes and wants to be seen as an individual….
Mr queens dont tell me about staying focused it is you who needs to stay focused rather than say @ first b/w jumped down DJTEEL’s throat for his statements and say again that i have no backbone thats why I’m kiss assing the white man,cause if it was the black brother I won’t forgive….
Then that same contradictory you twists the things I say and un-necessary arguments where you end up tying with a rope of hypocrisy… If you dont get it by now, you never will cause I can’t explain to a hate wired mind like you to understand anything on this subject.
Besides this is an interracial site… not a solely black or white dating site so the least thing we need is haters like you speaking in hateful tongues cause your argument is also senseless to me when I dont get to understand where you’re coming from.
UK girl or not I’m proud of who I am and I’m happy to be into white guyz black guyzzz like you are a huge discouragement….
chilllzzz…
There’s only 1rockgodess.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 18 October 2008:
Dear UK Girl
LOL If you say so.
You said this
“UK girl or not I’m proud of who I am and I’m happy to be into white guyz black guyzzz like you are a huge discouragement….”
I do not know how I twist what you said when I paste it in the conversation. I guess black men like me are a huge discouragement because we have a backbone and stand for something. While you still licking white ass.
Good day to you
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 19 October 2008:
Are ya’ll still ” trippin” with Mr. Laurelton? Gossshhhh!
I can’t even read all the post, it is draining…
Would you shut up already.. Mr. Laurelton!! lol..lol… lol..
You are making me sick! Kidding with you, but you are making me sick….
And watch your filthy mouth! I need some soap!
How is everyone? I am doing great!!!!!
My friend had a birthday party at a resort this weekend and as I walked in, it was 2 white men talking by the door. One of them was trying to hollar at me and tried to spark up a conversation. He was gorgeous! I was so caught up in something else, I kinda ignored him. Do ya’ll out there in blog world know that I want to go find that white man!!! lol… I went home and wondered what was I thinking? He was gorgeous! Plus.. I am a very outgoing person and if it can’t work, as far a relationship. Friends are always good to have!
Just wanted to share that, since we are all off the subject anyway!
I love me a fine man…. Color doesn’t matter.
But for SUBJECT purposes… I love a fine white man!
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 20 October 2008:
And we love you!
Comment by luvanurse on 21 October 2008:
BeautyBeyondWords I am with you loving the fine white men.
Comment by Golden_Brown on 23 October 2008:
I have to say that I am a little surprised with the women that are taking up for DJTEEL. Preferance is one thing, but he clearly made thoughtless generalizations about black women. He felt the heat and tried to retract or clear up his statement, but I believe his first statement was pretty clear of his thoughts of black women.
Comment by DJTEEL on 14 August 2008:
I don’t even like discussing this topic ANywhere anyTIME..i stick with my own race for two reasons. dating black women,i’ve found that of course they tend to have black friends.loud in restaurants and aggresive.i couldn’t even go into a public place without them becoming loud not caring who overherard them. also,considering the fact i absolutely despise rap hip hop and r&b and the current black music of the day,this relationship just didn’t work out.give me somebody calm,soft spoken and without the desire to hang out all hours of the night somewhere. maybe it’s an old school belief but 1 and 2am is for sleep,not for hangin’ out.
To me…DJTEEL’s comment was just as bad as Mr. Queens screaming the word sellout or nappy head, he was simply less blunt. Sorry DJTEEL, you have to do more than just compliment a black woman and pretend to be offended after making such a generalized statment about black wome. Everyone with a brain knows that a persons personality traits, likes and dislikes stem so much more from their environment and rearing, then the color of their skin.
I could care less about him or any other man, regardless of their race, not wanting to be with me. What I do not care for, is someone looking at me and thinking that they know my charactor because my skin is brown. Keep your fake apologies and justifications DJTEEL!
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 23 October 2008:
I do agree Golden…..
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 24 October 2008:
This is what I do not understand about sellout black women and their commentary.
You attack DJTEEL for saying how he felt as a white man going out with black women, He said you were loud and aggressive. I do not know if it is a crime to be loud and aggressive. I guess the perception is those “loud black people” have no class.
Actually he is not alone in his observation because sellout black women make it a point ” to distance themselves” from other so called “low class black women”. Perhaps, because of the zip code these black women live in. It could just be, simply, that sellout black women hate the baggage that comes with being black.
Quite often, I hear sellout black women say ” What kind of women do you date?” Then I say tell them “black women like you”. Then they are “stumped for awhile” . Then they respond back to me by saying ” their not like me”. Then I respond by saying ” How are they not like you”?
Then they think for a minute and get frustrated and lash out at me. They will say something like you date only “hood rats on section 8 with 3 kids”. It almost like they feed into their self hatred. Even if a black woman was on section 8 and food stamps does that make her less of a person? Personally, I do not think so.
Now the only problem I had with DJTEEL was him backtracking on his statements. He should have just stood up like a man and say ” Yea this how I feel”. Instead, he retreated due to his comments being unpopular.
Me personally, I will call you sellout out until I do not care no more. That just how I am.
Sincerely
Me
Comment by tatted2death on 26 October 2008:
Hopefully you will begin to care a little less, Mr. Queens…LOL
You said you care how I feel (right after making the “Me, I am going to call a nappy headed black girl a sellout until I don’t care no more” statement….LOL)….sorry but I find that a little hard to believe.
But I will agree with you on the whole self-hatred issue. Personally, when I speak of what makes me different from other PEOPLE (regardless of race, color, religion, whathaveyou…), I generally bring up things such as open-mindedness, open-heartedness, respect and so on. And the last time I checked there are people of all socio-economic backgrounds that embody those sort of qualities. Anytime someone speaks of “hood-rats”, it usually goes without saying that the female in question is someone without certain qualities (self-esteem, self-respect, individuality, etc.). AND I think it is also common knowledge (if not it SHOULD BE) that “hood-rats” come in ALL colors, shapes and sizes. Sometimes they even “cross the tracks” and can be found in affluent neighborhoods as well.
to address BronzeEra71’s queries:
Yes, I am a proud individual and have an open-mind like few others. So therefore I find that the fact I date “inclusively” to suit me just fine. The fact that it is NOT typical is just an added bonus. But ceratainly it is NOT a core reason as to why I do the things I do…..PERIOD.
ALSO…for the record, I DID NOT BACK DJTEEL…..I just did not have the overwhelming need to respond to him sense HIS EXPERIENCES were so OBVIOUSLY limited and I just could not relate….THE END.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
P.S. Just a word to the wise…….TRYING TO “DIRECT” A BLOG SUCH AS THIS IS FUTILE. YOU EITHER RESPOND OR YOU DON’T. YOU CAN READ OR NOT…NO ONE FORCES YOU TO DO SO. here’s a suggestion……IF YOU REALLY CAN’T STAND TO READ WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS FORUM; TAKE A CUE FROM MR. QUEENS AND START YOUR OWN.
Sorry but that is just a pet-peeve of mine (sort of like the one I have about people that come in a chatroom and fish for attention with the “I’m so bored” line 8^/ ).
Comment by snuggle-bunny on 29 October 2008:
I am intrigued about the whole interracial dating scene, but I am not sure about how to go about it or where to go in my area. HELP
Comment by GI on 31 October 2008:
All I know is this.. I’m exclusively attracted to Half Black / Spanish and Half Black / White women..
It’s not something I can control, its just what I prefer..
People think it’s weird. Oh well.
Maybe its genetic.
Comment by Yea on 1 November 2008:
Theres no hope for black men.
Comment by Yea on 1 November 2008:
There’s no hope for black men.
Comment by Yea on 1 November 2008:
Sorry for double posting.
Comment by Afromantic on 3 November 2008:
Okay, Ive read most of the previous posts and I just had to reply. DJTeel, I do not believe he’s racist or a ‘Nazi’ because he prefers not to date black women or only hang around whites. He’s no different than most of the ghetto black kids in my area who only hang out with other black kids and hispanics. The idea of him being racist is absurd to me.
The idea that black men have flocked to white women because of black women…I agree and disagree. Throughout the 90’s, there was an uproar of billboards and propaganda commercials advertising black men with very fair-skinned white women. Also, in the 80’s, it was known that a black girl would not open her legs unless dude had money, a job, and a car. While on the otherhand, white girls were seen as ‘easy’. Then you have to take into account black women. Alot of black girls in my area are loud, ghetto, flashy (even though they know their rent is late) and just plain boof. The only guys I can picture being interested in these females are their counterparts, loud, flashy, ghetto black boys.
Although it shouldn’t be their excuse, some black guys use these females as examples of why they refuse to date black women…now, the part about black men not bashing women on the internet is false. I am a loyal youtuber and im deeply involved with black issues. I came across a number of vids of black men TRASHING black women. Just dogging them for the entire world to see. (I am a black female but I don’t like the term ‘black’. I prefer African…)I was so appalled.
Im only 18 years old and haven’t started dating yet. Is this what I have to look forward to? I became so angry because I couldn’t believe my people were wasting time hating each other instead of fixing our torn, fatherless communities. The issue with black women only dating white men. I feel that its an issue with a slew of different reasons. Mutual attraction, social status, a feeling of self-loathing…etc. I know a number of black men date asian girls because a white girl refused to give them the time of day. Everyone has their own reason. Myself, Im fond of Asian guys (korean, japanese, chinese) Has nothing to do with self-hate or any other nonsense. I just have an afinity towards them. I always dreamed that my eventual husband would be an African (black) man but it seems like they really hate us…
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 3 November 2008:
Dear Afro
You are only 18 years old and you write better than grown adults I know. I think you make great points of course with the exception of black men hating you. I would not go that far for real. I think there is a level of frustration out there that makes it seems like black men are angry at black women. There is clearly some anger on both sides of the coin.
As for youtube that can go both ways. I just men and women react differently on camera. Men will make a forceful opinion on a subject. Women tend to dance around the issue so it makes it look black men are angry. The fact some black men care about this issue is interesting to me. But you see the black man that are indifferent to this subject rarely get talked about. Instead a few black men are vocal about their opinion and they believe all black men feel this way.
Personally when I started seeing sellout black women write blogs disrespecting black men that is when I decided ” to go in” on them. There is no other motive for me than that.
Good day
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 4 November 2008:
Now I am racist lol.
If you want to talk about the “foundation” being cracked that happened decades ago or a century ago. I tipped my hand you think????? I have been biased throughout my whole post and previous posts. That is why my opinion is black women are sellouts who bash black men to justify dating white men. That has always been my theme.
As for this “racist term”, everybody is racist. Everybody harbors some assumptions about another race. I found your critique amusing but if you want to put your head in the sand about race then go right ahead.
As for the analogy by In Ya Face
Comment by In Ya Face on 2 October 2008:
“Most of you all would call it discrimination or racist if a white employer didn’t hire blacks because he preferred only whites. It amazes me how some black women on here would say they only date white men. Isn’t that discrimination and racist too???”
Your response to In Ya Face was weak. Having “discriminating” taste in appearance is not bigotry? Yea I understand you don’t want to date FAT Tameka from the housing project. Oh I understand now that is not part of the “racist” foundation you speak of that I am from. You just can’t find any “chemistry” with a black woman from the lower economic scale that has a large black extended family. It makes you “uncomfortable”. Your full of shit with that response to In Ya Face. It is subtle racism because you judge a person on their appearance before you get to know them.
I get it, your white skin says I must get the “cream of the crop” black women, and that it is not racism Mr Black man. Not at all, you know why the racist foundation from where you as a black man comes from is just “racist”. You were given all the privileges in life so what right as you, a BLACK MAN, to stop me from seeing the ATTRACTIVE black women.
Can’t we all get along Mr Black man, you can keep the chubby and obese black women and let me have the in shape black women that are brainwashed and THAT worship my white feet!
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOW!!!!!!!!!!
DO NOT INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE WITH THAT RACIST SHIT YOU SAY ABOUT ME MAN.
Comment by Frank_h02 on 4 November 2008:
Comment to Mr Laurelton Queens:
It is evident that you are an educated and an intelligent man and very passionate about your way of life. It’s a crying shame that NOBODY is supporting your viewpoints… what’s wrong with All these people? I personally find your narrow minded statements sad but also very amusing. However I am somewhat confused on your reason for becoming a member on this site when you are so negative with BW/WM relationships?
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 6 November 2008:
What’s wrong with you? But anyhooooo….
I haven’t posted in awhile here. I hate ignorance in the smallest degree. But who am I?
Just wanted to say….
It was truly a blessing Tuesday night. I was at the rally at Grant Park (In Chicago) and it was such a blessing to see history made and how whites, blacks, hispanics, indians… (you name it) coming to together for a common cause! I kissed and hugged so many people that night, it was amazing! People were running and hollaring… hugging… crying… singing… dancing… I haven’t had that much fun or felt so much love from complete strangers in a very long time. It just illustrated how love can overcome hate. There was no color. There was no “social class”, There was no I am better than you… we were all the same. Why? Because in reality, we are all the same. People are people anywhere you go in the world!
I thank God for the experience of being in the atmosphere to watch the 1st black man elected President of the United States of America!
Not only that… But he has a beautiful and educated black woman on his side.
And you saw black women are what?
I don’t need money from a man, when I have and make my own….
I don’t have to give my body to a man, because he has something that is worth absolutely nothing to me…
What about that white woman who slept with Kobe Bryant and had numerous sperm ejaculations in her from other men? Hmmmm….
Why do you think she slept with Kobe, because she really liked him? Let’s be real about the situation.
Does that mean that all white women are garbage?
No!
If a black woman does the same thing, do that mean that all black women are garbage?
No!
What the hell are all ya’ll talking about?
But then birds of a feather flock together.
I guess you all can understand each other…lol…
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 6 November 2008:
I meant to say…
And you say black women are what?
I am glad that black woman are strong women. We have a lot to be proud of. We made it!
No matter what is thrown at us… We can make it.
We get criticized from all angles. We are despised, because we are beautiful. Not only do we have to fight the white folks (sometimes) - We have to fight the black folks ( most times).
We are survivors!
Black women be encouraged. I don’t care what some of these idiots say in here or out there….
You are beautiful and Be with whomever treats you like the queen you are.
Be who you are. If you loud… So the hell what.
If you are flashy… So the hell what.
If you are ghetto… So the hell what.
I’ve seen nice men leave many of nice women for a ghetto girl….
The ghetto ones will cook for you….
The ghetto ones got your back, when the world is all on it.
Be who - YOU BE!
Black women we are some special women. If a black man wants something other… It’s their loss. AND OFTENTIMES… ARE GAIN. LOL…
Ya’ll know, what I am talking about…lol…lol…
My thing is this.. I don’t like ignorance in any color.
Love you Queens…..
~ Beauty
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 6 November 2008:
And not Lauralton Queens… lol…lol…
My black women - WHO ARE QUEENS!
Comment by Afromantic on 6 November 2008:
I know alot of those black men on youtube are hurt. I can hear it in their voices as they try to point out reasons for hating black women…I still feel its not right. I have to look at both sides, because I dislike when I hear black women say that there aren’t any ‘good’ black men around. I see what these guys go through. On numerous accounts, my own mother has told me that she refused to even talk to a black male bus driver simply because he was overweight. What pissed me off is that she herself is over 200 lbs…yet, she’s the same woman who would complain in the same breath ‘there aren’t any good black men.’
So I understand how these guys feel. The part I do not like about their arguments is that they’re most of the time, unintelligent, unyielding to the fact that black women are also in pain, uninformed, and rude. Alot of them have resulted in this propagated ‘70% black women are single’ BS in order to press their reasoning…these guys, in my opinion, are simply absorbing the propaganda fiercely. I hope one day they’ll get educated and open up their eyes to the truth. I feel that they’re becoming lost in this white man’s world.
Now, that applies to the black female. Since the black men are so lost in what they want and they’re allowing t.v. and society to dictate who they should get involved with, alot of black females are left without black males. Therefore, they lean towards the next male in line (from a black woman’s list of preferences) the white male. Personally, I do not see myself ever getting involved with someone white simply because of slavery and the ideology that these people have spread throughout the world…I don’t share the same values that others do…I don’t think straigh hair is beautiful or pale skin is angelic and I don’t think that the color white means purity. I follow the traditional African beliefs that black is the symbol of life and that white is the symbol of death.
I feel that some black women are dating them due to social status (the same with some black men) but I definitely don’t find anything wrong with interethnicity dating. Just white is not what Im looking for…I say more power to those who can look beyond our ancestral struggle and continue looking for love amongst them and any other but I don’t think it’ll ever happen with me.
Comment by luvanurse on 7 November 2008:
BeautyBeyondWords you almost made me cry. Your words were so wonderful.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 7 November 2008:
Afro…
When I was on the train to Grant Park… This white man and I were keeping track of the election numbers. Well, Obama had a big lead and we were so excited! I have never seen this man before in my life. We shared personal things… We laughed.. .We celebrated… We became “somewhat” instant friends… But you know what I told him?
I said..(As we were bouncing due to the train)
It’s like we are on the underground railroad escaping to freedom. lol..lol…
We both looked at each other and cracked up.
You do know that there were a lot of good white people in slavery times that gave their life (as well) to help black people have the same rights, as themselves?
They died. They were beaten… They went through the same struggles - FOR US!
Now, if white men is not what you like… Okay.
You are entitled to your own opinion and you like what you like. That is not my issue. I just believe that black women are tired of living in a box and just decided to weigh their options. It really doesn’t matter why they date white men and what made them do it.
I like men. Color is not an issue to me. Like I often said before… The better man may not always be the black man. I want the better man. I don’t care what color he is.
Regarding your mother…. When dating, I think there has to be some kind of attraction. The picture of 2 heavy people trying to get their groove on is not really attractive to me, but somebody else might get a little rise out of it. You like who you like. But as I mature, I find myself looking beyond appearance. My friends tell me that I like ugly men, anyway. lol…lol.. But, I see somthing else in them.
I can look through muddy water and see dry land. That’s an old folks saying. lol…
I can look beyond what I see.
Don’t limit yourself, Afro. Don’t limit love.
(Just to throw this in)
In God - There are no limits!
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 7 November 2008:
Thanks luvanurse…..
And you know what Afro?
I used to be overweight… Way overweight.
I have always like big ole men…lol
Not fat, but big.
I wouldn’t date a fat man, because like I said in the earlier comment… 2 big ole folks rockin’ was not cute to me. But find me a man that was about 6′2 -
Thick ( more muscle) and bald head… Baby!
I’ve lost weight and I still like a big man. I personally don’t like skinny men. I like meat, but I’ve dated skinny men and I was attracted to them.
Hell, I am meaty myself (still). The difference is… I want to be. I don’t like skinny. I just exercise, try to eat right and keep it toned up!
And I look Good. I will definitely have to figure out how to get this profile together, I keep hearing about.
Until then… Keep it together!
Where’s Jarita Hotsauce?
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 7 November 2008:
Dear Frank
I read your commentary about me “hating interracial relationships”. I would have responded to you but I was watching the Obama election results. Hate is such a strong word that you use. I would call cautious optimism to be honest with you.
I would describe the phenomenon of the “desire” to be with a black girl as a fetish. It is sort of like teenage white kids trying to be “black” or dress in ‘hip hop” clothing but when the police officers come they revert back to their original character.
That is why I am such a staunch opponent of the “sellout doctrine”. Oh yea it is really to be with a black girl sexually. Now trying to being a “relationship” with her. That means dealing with her brothers, sisters and extended family members.
Many White men like to move “Tameka” to the suburbs for a reason. Clearly they move their black girlfriend away from “black men”. Yet they call me racist for pointing this out. If interracial dating was so great for white men. Why are you never moving into the black community with “Tameka”.
Last but not least, let me mention the Obama Election. Sellout black girls running around with their Obama pins on. Why don’t you just spit in your white boyfriend’s face. It seems like that is what your doing when you flaunt your support for Barak Obama.
Me personally I don’t give you a pass because you supported Obama you sellout!
I am gone
Comment by dimplessss on 8 November 2008:
Beauty and Afro,
I’ve been checking the commments from time to time and I must say, I agree with nearly everything you’ve said, with one small disagreement.
Beauty, you said you don’t like ignorance in any color.
I too don’t particularly care for ignorance. However, there is a fundamental difference between ignorance and STUPIDITY.
In general terms ignorance is displayed when someone thinks, speaks, or acts in an unacceptable manner because they do not know better. To me, ignorant people get a little bit of a pass because, plain and simply, they don’t know any better; kind of like a young child who has not been taught not to jump on the furniture.
However, stupidity is displayed when someone knows better yet refuses to think, speak, or act as if they do. Therefore they choose stupidity; for this, I have no tolerance.
On this thread, there has been a staggering amount of stupidity disguised as ‘intelligence’.
I never responded to those posts and will not because quite frankly, they were, are, and will be invalid and unworthy of my time.
I did however, want to acknowledge the genuine intelligence and valid insight you, Tampa, Afro, Nurse, and a couple of others bring to this discussion. It has been refreshing, enjoyable, and thought provoking.
On a side note, my oldest sister called me from Grant Park on Tuesday. It thrilled me to no end to hear how happy and excited she was to be ‘in that number’ of Obama supporters. That strong, loving mother of three who is an administrator at the HBCU back home, was laughing, crying, and cheering all at the same time and I was so happy she got to experience that.
All of you who keep positive, no matter what hate is thrown at you by the ’stupids’ of the world, keep doing what you’re doing because it is much appreciated.
With love & prayers for blessings
Dimplessss
Comment by tatted2death on 8 November 2008:
Jarrita Hotsauce here….(LMAO…..Beauty, ONLY you can call me that…LOL)
Beauty….I am originally from Chi-town and I was definitely homesick Tuesday night. I watched that beautiful sight on the tube but I amazed myself when they made the annoucement that Obama was our President-Elect…….tears just started rolling uncontrollably (and I am NOT a cryer…LOL).
No matter what Mr. Queens might say, “sellout” (never know what he truly means by that because his definition morphs each time he posts here) black women actually got much support from “their white men” when it came to the Obama campaign. Like you said sis, that white man knew what time it was when you spoke of the “underground railroad”. You are sooo right that there were quite a few whites that did NOT support slavery and fought and died to end it. I think the beauty of Obama being elected can truly be appreciated by EVERY so called race…..it gives all of us the hope that soon the significance of skin tone will be irrelevant when it comes to what really matters in life. Everyone is going to have to recognize this…..this economy is going to see to that (I call this the “great equalizer”…lol). Everyone is feeling the squeeze now and unity and cooperation are going to be the only ways to see our way out of this.
I also must say I was touched by McCain concession speech as well…..even he recognizes that negativity at this point is just not the way to go.
Anywho….
Back to my corner..
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
Comment by mizzfin on 8 November 2008:
I usually wonder if i’ll ever be sexually attracted to a black man as i am to a white man…it’s probably because the white men i’ve dated are more of my type than black men i dated…nothing racist about it! ’cause i’m black myself!
Comment by Afromantic on 8 November 2008:
I’d just like to say ‘thank ya’ to ms. BeautyBeyondWords and ms. Dimplessss for acknowledging my comments and responding awesomely!! ^^ Um, I do understand that there were alot of whites who died during the move for black independence and equal rights during the oppression stage in America but I do, also, understand that there were ALOT more whites who would’ve rather us remain in chains.
I don’t limit love, I am still waiting to meet my asian persuasion, but I would leave white prospects last. Nothing personal against every individual white person, its more of a hatred of what their ancestry has done to the world.
And mizzfin, just because you’re black doesn’t mean you can’t be racist towards your own people…I just get tired of ‘well, i can say this about so and so cuz im the same race!’ It doesn’t equate to anything.
Much love, big ups, and respect to you all!!
-Afromantic Motherland ^_^
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 8 November 2008:
I have read some interesting comments here.
It ranges from the definition of “stupidity to ignorance”. Then I read some commentary that this person was on the train with a white man and thought it was the “underground railroad”. Considering the whites that helped black people to escape to the North were rare. The White “sympathizers” were more concerned with their own agenda more than helping a slave get to another place where their opportunities would still be limited. It would clearly take to long to debate the “Underground Railroad”. Since people are so interesting in the “Underground Railroad”. They should watch on PBS the “History of the Slave Catcher”. Everybody says “oh all whites did not own slaves what you talking about Laurelton”. The cotton industry as well as other agricultural products provided jobs for poor whites. When the overseer whipped your ass, it usually was not the master. He hired several poor whites to whip your ass. When you ran off the plantation, they had a whole market for catching your ass. Many poor whites made a good living catching your off running off the plantation.
A young woman implied black people could be “racist”. That is like saying a native “American” can be racist too, I suppose. Nobody ever says a “Native American is racist”. You know why that often occurs. That is because some sellouts really want to disassociate themselves from their brutal ancestry that happened to them in this country. So they silly things like I felt like I was in the “Underground Railroad”. Obama is not the messiah and he can turn this country around. I highly doubt he will change the racial feelings of the country.
58 million people did not vote for Obama. I figure a significant portion of them do not like black people. I know what you are going to say, “They never called him racial slurs”. The whole campaign they ran against Obama linked him to so-called black “radicals”. Now your going to tell me racism is dead and gone because he was elected. Yet they call black men like me racist for pointing that out. That is simply hilarious if you ask me. I recently went into Sears to buy some tools. So, this interracial couple is walking through the aisle and I am in the paint section. They say to me “Uh I want that Gray paint right there please thank you”. I “looked around” and said, “Yea it looks nice, why don’t you get it yourself.” Then the nappy headed black girl made the mistake of saying “Don’t you work here”. I said “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WORK HERE”?
Then I guess people looked around and saw a commotion. The white boy dragged his homely nappy-headed black girl with thick glasses away. My girlfriend came around the corner because she was looking at the fitness section. She asked me “what happened”? I said some sellout thought I was working at Sears. My girl said “she got some nerve’ for real.
The moral of the story is making assumptions will get your ass yelled at.
Next time you have an Obama pin on spit in your white boyfriend’s face. Clearly, you wish had a man like Obama but you settled for a white man that has no opinion on black community issues and just wants to have sex with you.
Sincerely,
Mr Laurelton Queens
Comment by Afromantic on 8 November 2008:
Hm, I think it wasn’t right for her to assume that you worked there. Thats a level of disrespect that she should not have entered. But I don’t agree with the term ‘nappy-headed black girl’. I understand you’re angry because she called out of your character but that just depicts how ‘enslaved’ our mentalities are. It pisses me off when blacks still refer to themselves as ‘negroes’ ‘niggas’ ‘nigras’ or ‘nappy-headed’ ‘head full of naps’ ’she got good hair although her son’s is a little nappy’…Things like that makes me wonder if we have not elevated ourselves from such a way of thinking…but then again, Im from the caribbean so refer to black hair as ‘knotty’ or ‘kinky’…I guess its a difference in where you’re raised and who raised you…
-Afromantic Motherland ^_^
Comment by Roskolnikov on 9 November 2008:
I am an American man and I am Black. I have been on this site for a few weeks now and it concerns me that the prevailing sentiment of its members seems to be one of preference for one race over another. I think you people are missing the point. Seriously! I date women of every race and with so many valid reasons for excluding people from my preference it seems extremely shallow and and stupid to me that anyone would make color a factor. I can only shake my head in wonderment when I encounter people who make comments like ” I just like the way his or her skin looks against mine”. If you find that this is of of overriding concern for you then perhaps you should contemplate your shallowness with a therapist. If you have difficulty finding beauty in the features of people who look like you or your narrow perspective leads you to date only one race then at least do those of us who truly are colorblind the courtesy of refraining from boring us with your shortsighted drivel.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 9 November 2008:
Rosko
You make some good points concerning the level of discussion here. I must admit I use the term nappy headed for sellout black girls and the word “Negro”. The nappy headed comment, at least when I use it, is for many reasons. When Imus called that UCONN basketball team nappy headed hos. I really could not understand why black women were offended by that joke.
Some of the girls look like “black men” on the team. Secondly it was a joke. These same black women that get offended by Imus. They never object when their white boyfriend’s family does not accept them into their family. They usually say “they will come around” or they will ” go out of their way to say there not the typical black women”.
I still do not know what a “typical black woman” is these women refer to on the board. It is almost like they want to distance themselves from their black culture simply because they have a white boyfriend.
I am from the Caribbean also and some of these women from the “Islands” have a color issue. They believe the white man is Jesus himself. I remember I parked my car at the airport and I was talking to this Caribbean girl. The White Pilot was waiting for his wife to pick him up. This nappy headed girl ran across the street to talk to a white married man.
The sad part is he dismissed her like she was “beneath him” and she did not even notice it. He was real subtle because he sort of made that look like “oh boy here she comes”.
These sellout black women are pathetic. The sooner white men realize what they are really about the better.
Good day
Comment by jenn on 10 November 2008:
I am increasingly growing against the idea of dating Black men because of how disrespectful they are to Black women, period. They simply talk about and treat Black women horribly and I cannot deal with that type of nonesense. Keep in mind that I have always found other races of men attractive, particularly Latino ones, so their actions have not driven me into the arms of other race men (I was already there lol) but they are making me not ever want to consider them as a dating option period. They have colorism issues, they have ego issues, they have insecurity issues, they have developmental issues (education, employment, social) and the worst part is that they seem to push it all off on Black women as if we are at fault. Just look at youtube and the vile degrading things they say about Black women on there. They have an entire army of men dedicated to abusing Black women verbally. How could any Black women want that? An even better question is how do some of these Black women limit themselves EXCLUSIVELY to men who hate them?
It would be one thing if Black men were simply struggling as a group which they are, but its another when they are gutless enough to push those failures off on their own women and degrade them publicly. This type of lack of true masculinity (not the whorish behavior and bravado many Black men claim is masculine) and cowardess is disgusting and makes them less and less of options in my eyes everyday. I know there are good ones because plenty of them exist in my family, but the majority I increasingly CANNOT STAND.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 10 November 2008:
Since your growing increasingly tired of black men.
Let me tell you what you do. Go to your bathroom and swallow a bunch of sleeping pills and that will solve your problem. Since you think all black men is the source of your frustration. I guess youtube only shows black men venting. I do recall seeing black women on youtube venting too.
The black women that exclusively date black men are good women. You may venture out and get used by white men because you hate your skin color. Some black women decided not to do that. Maybe if you changed things about yourself than men would be interested in you.
I figure by the time that happens you would have swallowed the sleeping pills. Then you claim your family of black men is “not like that”. So all black men reserve the title of abusive while your male family members get off because they “are related to you”.
I see developmental issues with sellout black women but I don’t broadcast it. I don’t see Tyra Bank types of black women running around. I don’t see sellout black women that have the level of education “Michelle Obama” has walking around.
All I see is complainers who run to the white man because they ran “out of options”.
Good day.
Comment by jenn on 10 November 2008:
You want me to go swallow a bunch of sleeping pills when you’re on an IR board trolling the posts of any Black woman who dates non-Black? LOL. Kill yourself sweety. You and all the others like you on youtube and on Blackmenvent.com (as I’m sure you frequent that board with your hate for Black women) attempting to destroy the name of Black women with your lies and insults and passing it off as “truth from the Black men’s perspective”.
You represent all the delusional Black men of the world, particularly those of you born and raised in America. You will see a bunch of Black men dating anything but a Black woman and your ugly mouth will stay closed but the minute a Black woman decides wow I don’t have to wait around and be considered a shiftless moron’s 2nd option if he can’t get a white girl or latina girl or asian girl, then you suddenly have something to say and are pro-Black. Negro please. And then you attempt to act as if there are legions and legions of Black women “venting” about Black men on youtube as well. Right.
And if you want to be honest, the Black women with the levels of education like Michelle Obama are the ones who date out the most. The ones who don’t are the ones who stay stuck to Black men, and thats because their self esteem has been ridden so low to the ground by self serving Black men such as yourself that they feel they can do no better. But let me guess, you’re going to say that those Black women just ‘chose’ those Black men that shamelessly did them dirty right? Nothing about how those Black men who will use and abuse Black women are the clear majority and thus make Black women’s ‘choices’ extremely limited? You are pathetic.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 November 2008:
Dear Jenn
I never heard of blackmenvent.com. I might check it out since I am always interested in boards with opinions regardless of the topic. Now you claim I am lying when statistics point to so many black women being single. I figure your going to say black men caused that right. If interracial dating was so great why are 70 percent of you single. That would mean white men are not going out of their way to date you.
That is just statistics. I don’t need to make up anything. You said I “represent” all the black men born and raised in America. That is funny, black men are a diverse group. Most of us do not give a damn about who you date. See we don’t do movies whining about dating (Something New). We are not on CNN ( To be Negro in America) talking about we can’t find a good black woman to date. We are not on that failing magazine Essence ( Going out of business I cry for them) with articles about “Can White Jesus help me pay my bills”.
There is legions of black women venting via other media outlets. Now when the black man defends himself and it “ruins” your “stock” for other races of men that is when you “lash out”. Some nappy headed black girl said in a Town Forum I went to recently that “Black men” make me look bad in front of the White men.
Right we make you wear tight clothes and have your breasts spilling out of your bra. Yea that is us making you look bad!!! Everybody laughed when I made that comment. Then you mention Michelle Obama “type black women” who date out the most.
Actually I would have to disagree. Aside from the drama here I have never had a problem with educated professional black women (Their open minded). It is unfortunate they can’t find a mate to their liking. Me personally, I have never had a problem with them.
The only issue with Professional black women is there controlling and there needy. Even white guys have said this.( The emasculated white men will NEVER EVER say their dislikes about black women) As time goes on the only people promoting being with you is “yourselves”!
I really never see blogs with white men saying ” I am going to the housing projects to meet my Queen”. I see more websites with white men doing pornography with black women. Then I say blogs with White guys “praising black women. It is kind of sad that you put a 100 percent into pushing “yourselves on white men” but they never really defend you. They never say I will move into the black community to date you. I will do it what it takes. You are basically on the frontline getting the brunt of ridicule and debates. All the white boy does is sit back.
Personally I think there is something wrong with that. If the shoe was on the other foot. I would go all out for my woman period. I would be at every debate and respond to every comment. At the end of the day you “give up” everything and what do you get in return? I rarely see black women married to white men. If they do get married they divorce within four years. BW/WM pairings have the highest divorce rate.
That never gets talked about but yet I am the “bad guy”.
You know what go to bed and eat your ice cream. Next thing your going to tell me is that you go the gym everyday and went to an Ivy League College and your a model. You got all the white men chasing you.
They call me delusional lol. Sellout black women are delusional. They make up shit then they convince themselves “life is really like that”.
I am out
Comment by jenn on 11 November 2008:
70% of Black women are single for the same reason that 63% of Black men are single (which you delusional Black men like to ignore). And that amount of Black men is single DESPITE black women outnumbering them 4 to 1 and races tending to marry within their own. You see, those stats that you Black women haters tote with such glee in order to make us look bad actually make you look worse. Statistically, considering the shortage of Black men in comparison to Black women in mere number (and this isn’t even counting sexual orientation and mere incompatibility that happens between different men and different women that would make a dating pool even smaller) it makes sense why so many Black women are single. For Black men on the other hand, it doesn’t.
Lol @ Black men not whining about dating in movies. Jungle Fever anyone? You Black men created and are the epitome of whining in movies AND in music (complaining about being used for money by the same hoes and player women that you chase and ignore good women for). And contrary to popular belief, most black magazines encourage Black women to date nothing but black, which is why so many of them are sitting around holding out hope for Black men (who know they have the number advantage within the community) to decide to settle down and not screw everything around them that is moving.
And ahhh I knew the truth would finally come out. The truth is, Black men are doing all this open bashing of Black women because they HOPE their efforts discourage other races of men from seeing Black women as partners and thus trapping Black women with Black men forever. Unfortunately for you guys, your plan doesn’t work, because no other race of men in their right mind can look at the stats for Black men in education, employment, criminal behavior, etc. compare them to those of Black women and deduce black women as the problem. They KNOW you’re whining is simply the same blame shifting you’ve done for so long and they aren’t being ran away by your words the way you hope lol. Just look at this site for instance. None of these white or latino or Asian men are worried about the lies Black men are spreading, they are still on the hunt for Black women for long term partnerships.
As far as white men coming to Black women’s defense, they do so on the internet more than Black men that’s for damn sure. Consider the posts in this blog for instance. Count how many white men and non-Black men have come in praising Black women? Then count how many of your ilk has come in calling everybody all kinds of coons and sell outs? LOL. I rest my case. You are indeed delusional, and just like most delusional Black men you ignore the horrid treatment of Black men towards Black women and make it seem as if you all are the victims (yeah right) or that some other men are the predators on Black women. Nope, we don’t believe you, you need more people. And yeah, you do realize that the educated Black women are the ones who date out the most. It burns you up inside I can tell.
Here’s a fun fact for the road though. Many Black men claim that Black women are loose (kind of the way you did in your rant there) and put single motherhood as a mark on their record and a testament to their being “loose”. Here’s the fun fact though, out of all mixed race children, the ones who are being raised by a single mother over 75% of the time have a Black “father”. LOL. What a common denominator. So the question is: is it the Black woman being “loose” by having these babies out of wedlock, or is it the Black man playing his same role of dodging and ducking responsibility and leaving it for someone else?
And yeah you are out. Out of your damn mind LOL.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 11 November 2008:
Dear Jenn
It is amazing how you see into the soul of black men. Since I am a black man and I know how I feel about certain subjects. Let me repeat, nobody, at least in my immediate circle care if your a professional black woman. You keep sending those false messages out to the media about black men being “intimidated” by successful black women lol. You can ask any black man and he would laugh at you.
Secondly the statistics of “men” in general being single is high. Black men either choose to be single or at times are with “more than one woman”. I will not deny that at all. Now black women who are single. A majority of them would like a serious relationship but are not getting that. So out of their bitterness they go on Oprah and say all black men are on the “down low”.
I can’t recall a gay man hiding his sexual identity and a woman not figuring it out. But you black women find a way to make that happen. Then cry on Oprah talking about I was “fooled”.
Now your comparing Jungle Fever to Something New. Jungle Fever never bashed black women. Wesly Snipes was fucking a white woman from his job and got caught. I never heard a monologue in the beginning of Jungle Fever about black women like I heard in “Something New” about black men. Didn’t Sanaa Lathan character had illusions of black men following her everywhere in “Something New????????????????? Come to think of it, I never Saw Wesly Snipes character running back and forth to two women. When he got caught by his Black wife she kicked his ass out!
Sanaa Lathan was with Blair Underwood (getting it on with him). Then she runs back to the white boy and says ’sorry” then it was happy ever after. LOL Man she could ONLY do that to a white boy. I would have fucked her and sent her ass back to her black boyfriend. Then again I have vindictive streak.
Then you say we bash you so discourage other races of men from seeing you lol. Are you serious???????????? It could never be the fact White men choose White women, Asian women and Latin women over you. They pick you dead last and that is our fault lol.
You said it yourself there is more black women for black men. Why would it burn me? I got plenty of women to choose from within my own race. Perhaps it burns you up that you are picked dead last.
As for mixed children being raised by their mothers only. Black women top the list. So what are you saying? Black men continue to be married at a higher rate than black women when it comes to interracial dating. You can’t even get a white man to put a ring on your finger. The single mother rate in the black community is not just the result of black men. There is latin and white men leaving you to raise a kid alone. Black women have the HIGHEST out of wedlock birth rate in the US disproportionate to their population.
Are you married, I know the answer.
You are not.
Good day.
Comment by Roskolnikov on 11 November 2008:
Can you two please, shut up. This kind of behavior is exactly what I was referring to in my post. You both epitomize the self loathing and back biting that fosters the divide within our race. We are individuals and should treat each other as such.
Laurelton your denigrating comments about black women do nothing to encourage them to date us and could possibly serve as a warning to women of other races who might consider dating black men. Jenn, your vitriol is the lament of a woman who has clearly had some unpleasant experiences with Black men. I don’t know if either of you have traveled much but let me give you the benefit of my years spent abroad. Collectively dark skinned people are the least respected group on the planet. You might want to consider that with the multitudes of people out there that hold an irrational animus against us the last thing we should be engaging in is juvenile disparagements our brethren.
Comment by doodlebug44 on 11 November 2008:
Roskolinkov
Well said.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 11 November 2008:
Jenn,
I hope your “we don’t believe you, you need more people” is a JayZ quote cuz that ish is funny as hell.
Comment by jenn on 11 November 2008:
Dear whatshisface,
Black men have said it themselves on countless occasions that they are intimidated by women who challenge them. As much as they beat their chests about being the head of the household (you would actually have to be responsible to do this but that’s another story) it is clear that they have problems with Black women earning more than them. Especially if she is proud of her successes and does not hide them, the way EVERY man and woman who has strived for higher education and had it pay off with a good job does. Hell as it stands, Black men don’t even like it if a woman wants to be treated as an equal in a relationship.
Something New had no monologue bashing Black men. You are a liar an sensitive just because the Black woman in the film was dating a white man. there was plenty of times where she made it a point to talk about how many good “brothas” there are out there. Much of her griping in the movie came from her being single and not wanting to be single, it had nothing to do with Black men. Quit your bellyaching you sensitive manboy.
And please. Black men choose to be single and Black women do not? Explain to me then about the legions upon legions of Black men on you tube, on forums, on talk shows, in magazines and movies, complaining about their lack of success with Black women because of Black women’s “choices”? Let me remind you, their words go something like “I can’t get a Black woman, wah wah wah they all want the thugs, wah wah wahhhh”. I suppose its because they’re just so delighted to have chosen to be single right? LOL. More delusions.
Nobody is choosing anyone over anyone. Black women have been actively making themselves unavailable to other races of men. As a woman I can tell you 100% factually that there was never a time in my life where I wasn’t approached by all types of men but there was a time when I didn’t open up my options towards them. Nothing about your rhetoric is new. You attempt to make white men/non-Black men look like they are the ones who are bad for Black women, but then when it become so obviously clearly the true predators who do the most harm to Black women are Black men, you switch to the old rheotric that “no one wants you anyway they like the others better” yet again to silence Black women and keep them chained to you. It doesn’t work because newsflash, Black women actually live in reality to. We KNOW white men, latino men, and asian men express interest in us. We also know that the only person stopping a relationship going down between them and us, is us.
As far as your last comment about mixed children, you have just shown to me that you are a true moron. I said out of all the mixed raced children the ones who’s mothers are raising their children on their own have Black fathers. That means the common denominator is YOU. Whether you are with a Black woman or a white woman or a Latino women you are prone to leave them hanging and abandon your flesh and blood. Cowardly and gutless to the fullest. The only reason White women and other race women’s single motherhood rates are so low is because they primarily pair with white/non-Black men. Because Black women have to pair with Black men it is no wonder their single motherhood rates are so high. You all will shirk responsibility in a heartbeat, no matter the color of the woman. Although I must admit, a lot of you do tend to start to behave a little better when you get cho prize da purty white womun. Yessuh.
You’re an idiot.
Comment by jenn on 11 November 2008:
@ Tampa_Chris
Yes its from Jay-Z lol. I don’t remember what song its from, but me and my friends started using it as a saying in everyday life once we heard it awhile back.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 11 November 2008:
Jenn,
I do get where you are coming from. I think you make some good points and from “some” experiences with black men- very valid points.
I’ve experienced both sides. As black women, I have been with those same black men, you are talking about. Unfortunately, I do see a lot of what you are talking about. Of course, it is not all black man and probably not majority of them.
I think you are a good match for Mr. Laurelton. lol…
He can’t handle you - Boo. lol….
He likes to degrade black women, but can’t handle too much himself.
I do feel some of your comments, though.
Comment by jenn on 12 November 2008:
@ BeautyBeyondWords
Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t think ALL Black men are like that. But the majority? I would have to say yes. Not all of them are thugs and criminals, not all of them are hoes that think they are players, not all of them are liars and cheats or on the DL, not all of them are colorists that don’t value typically Black features and dark skin, not all of them are chauvinists, and not all of them are abusive verbally towards Black women as a whole. But do the majority of them possess at least one or more of these traits? Hell yes! I have no other reason to believe otherwise. Especially the colorist trait. I can’t think of one Black man that I know of who’s ideal woman actually looks like a black woman, even when they are the Blackest looking things themselves. Actually, those are the ones who are the worst about their colorism.
But really, all these things and negative traits in Black men disturbed me but didn’t bother me to the extent that I had a problem with Black men in general. After all Black women are not perfect either, and in this racist society many of the negative traits we display have to do with our past. So by the time I figured out the majority of them carry these traits I didn’t dislike them or anything, I just simply didn’t limit myself to dating only them. What it was that caused my dislike is the vehement hate and lies they are now spreading about Black women on the internet and beyond. Considering their terrible statistics they have no room to talk and yet they complain about Black women the loudest and proudest and try to get the world to believe WE are the problem. The half of the race that is actually going to school and graduating and not murdering each other in the streets or leaving our responsibilities to our children to someone else. You have got to be a gutless coward to do something like that, to shift the attention from your shortcommings and make up the shortcommings of another group to draw attention away from your own. Especially as a man doing that to a woman. That is beyond weak. It really reflects their general character that they can throw Black women under the bus so easily after years and years of Black women remaining loyal to them and supporting them, even in the face of them being told they were less than other race of women by those same men they remained loyal to.
THAT is what makes me say the things I say about Black men. If Black men were just filling out the lowest statistics in every category but weren’t saying anything bad about Black women or pushing off their failures in the community on us, then I wouldn’t have a problem. I’d simply go on about my business and date the men who I am more comfortable with the way I do now. But the fact that they are now lashing out at the people who stood beside them for so long, for longer than they even deserved, and attempting to degrade and destroy their name is sickening and makes me lose total respect for them as a group. I love the ones who are good just like I love good men, heck good people in general, but as a whole, I could care less about them as they have shown me my whole life they could care less about my group (Black women) or really any other group besides themselves.
Sorry for the long post, just had to get that out because people might read my posts and think I’m bitter after bad personal experiences when its not that. Its the cowardly tactics of bashing and attacks that they use on Black women now that disgusts me.
Comment by luvanurse on 12 November 2008:
Jenn I agree with every single last word you have written. I don’t know how many blogs I have visited and black women who I have talked to who agree with you. So it cannot all be in our minds.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 12 November 2008:
I would probably have to agree on your post, too. It is definitely not all in our minds…..
But, I will tell you this. I love dark/blue black men! I love them. Their skin is so beautiful to me and I have always loved the black in black people. All of my boyfriends, that were black (except for a few exceptions) were blue black. And I am a chocolate dark-skinned woman myself. My son is blue. lol..lol.. His daddy is blue…lol…lol.. My point is … I am not some high yellow girl that can pass for white.
I don’t like in between too much. Either blue black or white….. lol…
Hispanics and Light-skinned black men really don’t turn me on, as much. There are exceptions, though. Believe that!
You have some valid points. You really do.
Hey luvanurse… What’s up?
Comment by luvanurse on 13 November 2008:
What’s going on Beauty? How you been? The dating world is nuts. You know all my ex’s have been dark skin too. My one ex favored Michael Jordan back whenhe was playing for the Bulls. We are still cool to this day. I ended up being cool with all my ex’s.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 13 November 2008:
The dating world is definitely something else.
I’ve been dating quite a bit and it has its ups and downs. You know what I really like about white men and dating? White men are looking for a wife, most of the time. And they don’t waste anytime. I admire that about them. They want responsibility. They want to be men. They want a family. Sometime, you could be shacking with a black man for 50yrs and he still might not marry you. lol…lol…
I tell you, I do love our black men. I love the craziness in all races.
It’s funny.. how when you are dating white men and they are scared to touch your hair or something weird like that.
A hispanic man/ black man will just pull it off. lol… or out…
I am cool with my Ex’s …. Me and my son’s father is on the verge right now, though. Girl, the thought of ever allowing that man to get on top of me - scares me! lol..lol… He’s a fine brother, now. He’s thick. And his sex was OUTSTANDING! But, he got on drugs and it is starting to take a toll on everything about him. He was always a good father…. but, I am seeing him break bad. It is actually hurting me. He is a typical good brother gone bad. Hanging with the wrong people and doing the wrong things.
I still try to allow him to see his son and spend supervised time with him. But, it is not working out.
Keep him in your prayers!
Comment by luvanurse on 14 November 2008:
YOu know Beauty I will keep him, you and your son in my prayers. I don’t know why people turn to drugs for fun, support or whatever the choice may be. I have seen what happens to really successful people who decide to turn to drugs. I pray for them.
As far as dating goes, you are right about alot of white guys seeking wives. I don’t want to get serious about any guy until I move to Seattle. I am dating right now and the guys have all been pretty fun to hang out with,but I don’t see the point of getting serious when I am moving away. As far as the hair pulling goes, it depends on what is going on, wink wink. I have not dated any hispanic guys. Lately it has been mostly white guys. I also have been attracting more blondes than brunettes. I love dark hair and green or blue eyes. I have not been asked out by any black guys lately, I’m not mad about though. lol. The guy I have been going out with lately has been so much fun, he is so funny and smart. I felt comfortable with him immediately. He is going to be hard to leave when I move away. I have a feeling we will continue to be great freinds. Good Luck in your dating world girlfriend.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 14 November 2008:
I see everybody likes Jenn’s commentary.
It makes you feel good but there is no substance to it. She said some things that made me laugh. Then at the end it was “The reason this happens to black women”. That is when I roll my eyes like here we go. “The reason this happens is because the black man…. etc”
I thought “some” of Jenn’s comments were thought provoking. She made me “think” about some things. Nevertheless, both parties bash back and forth. I read one your rebuttals on this board. You said this in all your anger and misinformation…………………………
“Black men have said it themselves on countless occasions that they are intimidated by women who challenge them. As much as they beat their chests about being the head of the household (you would actually have to be responsible to do this but that’s another story) it is clear that they have problems with Black women earning more than them. Especially if she is proud of her successes and does not hide them, the way EVERY man and woman who has strived for higher education and had it pay off with a good job does. Hell as it stands, Black men don’t even like it if a woman wants to be treated as an equal in a relationship.”
Let me see statistics show black men with degrees make more money than black women. Secondly, some black women want a man to be a head of the household. Despite their mantra about “Being a strong independent woman”. What happened to the “Strong Independent Black woman?” Her bills and student loans caught up to her ass. Now you implied black men will not treat a black woman equal in a relationship. I really don’t understand that statement. We can treat you equal quite frankly. You can pay for your own meal. You can arrive to a date on your own without us picking you up. You can open the door for yourself. If that is the meaning of equality I am all for it.
The problem is that you are self absorbed once you get your education you expect us to cater to that. I got my degree and I assure you I don’t need to brag about my success all over the place. Now let me see what else you said that misinforms the public.
“Something New had no monologue bashing Black men. You are a liar an sensitive just because the Black woman in the film was dating a white man. there was plenty of times where she made it a point to talk about how many good “brothas” there are out there. Much of her griping in the movie came from her being single and not wanting to be single, it had nothing to do with Black men. Quit your bellyaching you sensitive manboy.”
Oh really I guess you never saw the beginning of the movie. I really do not know what to tell you my bitter nappy headed friend. She was walking around in the movie in the beginning trying to avoid black men. She met up with him in the café and was worried about what black people thought about her pathetic dating life. I really do not understand why sellout black women are so delusional. It is not so much the premises of the story. There is millions of single white, Asian, Latin women and they do not whine and do movies like this. Yet I constantly see your black ass with your busted weave crying about black men and forcing yourself on white men. This is deeply disturbing to me.
(Taking hat off) Let us examine what else you said…………………..
“And please. Black men choose to be single and Black women do not? Explain to me then about the legions upon legions of Black men on you tube, on forums, on talk shows, in magazines and movies, complaining about their lack of success with Black women because of Black women’s “choices”? Let me remind you, their words go something like “I can’t get a Black woman, wah wah wah they all want the thugs, wah wah wahhhh”. I suppose its because they’re just so delighted to have chosen to be single right? LOL. More delusions.
Now let me get this right, you see black men complaining about their lack of success with black women. You must be on that white powder diet! You are sniffing that glue right now! I should not even address this. Seventy percent of you are overweight but we are having a lack of success with black women. What the HELL are you smoking. Black men overall date you oversized like a Mcdonald extra value meal. You know what, I blame myself for creating this monster. It is not even your fault. We should have let you make love to the fridge.
We cannot get a black woman HAAAAAAAAAAAA
(Shaking my head)
You said some insightful things about your life. Like this…………………………….
“We KNOW white men, latino men, and asian men express interest in us. We also know that the only person stopping a relationship going down between them and us, is us”
So why so many of you are SINGLE? Mrs. Know it all
I know maybe those men do not realize that you want them now after ignoring them so long. What you are saying is “Man look it’s kinda messed over here can I move in with you”. Then the other races of men “say sure girl just give me sex”. Now all of a sudden they are treating you right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your making me laugh so more but ok.
The only people stopping you from them is “us”. Yea and the other races of women.
“As far as your last comment about mixed children, you have just shown to me that you are a true moron. I said out of all the mixed raced children the ones who’s mothers are raising their children on their own have Black fathers. That means the common denominator is YOU”
No the common denominator is you because black men take care of their mixed children. Black women have more of their children in foster care. Black women are at the top of the list raising children alone across the board that includes men of other races. Then you made this excuse.
“The only reason White women and other race women’s single motherhood rates are so low is because they primarily pair with white/non-Black men. Because Black women have to pair with Black men it is no wonder their single motherhood rates are so high. You all will shirk responsibility in a heartbeat, no matter the color of the woman. Although I must admit, a lot of you do tend to start to behave a little better when you get cho prize da purty white womun. Yessuh.”
Here we go with “The only reason excuse”
I thought you were independent who “forced you to pair with us”. Wait I know what you mean “other races of men” will choose you last so you are “forced to pair with us”. LOL The prize is the white woman. Where did that come from? You were doing well until you brought up white women. It will be all right get a backbone and start demanding more from white men after ignoring them so long. Put a sign up that says “Unhappy with black men please take me”.
Good day
Comment by Golden_Brown on 14 November 2008:
It’s clear to me that a lot of people here have had negative experiences while dating in the past. To me, it is unfair to group and bash anyone based on their skin color. People keep saying “black men” this and “black women” that…
Men and women act the way they act because of their upbringing and values, not the color of their skin. Those black men that are being spoken of so negatively were more than likely raised by black women. If a man is raised with certain values installed, he will be a good man rather he is black, blue, green or yellow. There are a number of great black men in the world, the negative ones are just usually more boastful. Just like the black community consists of more then just the hood.
I’m sure Mr. Queens wouldn’t want any man calling his black daughter a nappy headed sellout, because she decided to look past a man’s skin color and date him based on their feelings for each other. In the same right, I’m sure that a number of the women on here that say negative things about “black men” would not want those things to be said about their black sons.
I used to wonder why it was ok for White women to date black men and not get ridiculed, while Black women were thought of as disgraceful if they dated out of their race. Then I realized that white women had their moment. They went through being disowned and called dirty names, they just have come to a point of who cares! We as black women just need to get to our who cares point.
Some people just have preferences. There are men who are 6′5 that wont date a women over 5′6, and vice versa. When you date outside your race to make a point, yeah…it’s wrong. Some women just like a fair skinned man…oh well. I think it becomes a problem when you try to make negative assumptions about a man (of any race) based on his skin color.
Everyone needs to stop! You would have to be a damn fool to let go of a good man or women, who treats you well, and cares about you…because you’re too dumb to see past brown or pale skin.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 14 November 2008:
Amazing response Godlen_Brown. Couldn’t have said it better. And to let all ya’ll know I just got back from a lunch date with a beeeeaaautiful black woman and it was great. Made me actually think about this blog and how rediculous we all can be at times. I’m the first white cat she’s been on a date with and she said she had one of the best times ever. I don’t think it was my skin color that made her happy. I think it was my conversation and respect that made her happy.
Comment by luvanurse on 14 November 2008:
I will continue to stand by Jenn’s comments because I believe them to be true. She did not state that all black men were bad. She is saying the same thing alot of black women say. It is so amazing how I hear the same things about black men everywhere. I am not saying that black women don’t have their own issues, God knows we do. I just think Jenn has very valid points. It would be nice if the world was all rosy and sweet and everyone got along but we don’t it is reality. THere are reasons whey black men and black women are at odds with each other and it’s complicated. At least to me it is. Black women and black men have some things we need to work on. We need to be more respectful of each other,regardless of if we date or marry each other or someone of a different race. I know that I am in agreement with Jenn on all of her points, but I still have respect for most black men who show me respect. I am sure Jenn does as well.
Comment by BeautyBeyondWords on 14 November 2008:
I thought you were married, Tampa? Didn’t you say that in an earlier post…? What are you doing dating?
Huh? lol…lol…
I think that Jenn had very good points. How many times does a person have to say, it doesn’t apply to all black men? We know that already!
People can’t take away what they have experienced and what they got out of their experience. Our experience (oftentimes) shape how we think… How we live… Sometimes shape our mindset. Yet, what was extremely horrible for you - could be the best thing in the world to someone else. You can’t JUDGE people on their experiences and how they felt about the experience.
That’s retarded.
Now, we have to learn to know that it was our experience and we can’t judge a bad chapter, by the whole book.
It is a coincidence that MOST black women you talk to from different social levels, different backgrounds, different personalities, different parts of the world - can share a lot of the same experiences regarding black men.
But, I know (personally) some good black men that is worth every pain their mother went through in labor. lol… And then they get with some “crazy” black women that mess them straight up.
We all need to clean our back yards. But, when you do… don’t think that your yard is then better than mine. Which is what black men do…. They get a little education or money… And then black women ain’t good enough.
Comment by luvanurse on 15 November 2008:
Right on Beauty!!!!!!!!
Comment by Swtgurl190 on 15 November 2008:
You go Jenn! Just when I was about to say just ignore him and hopefully he’ll go away. Half the time I don’t know why people respond anyway, becaue we’ve completely got away from what this blog’s topic was a long time ago. I’ve been away for awhile because I just got tired of it, but I’m glad I came back to read Jenn. Very intelligent lady and before anyone assumes that my encouraging words to her mean that I hate black me…..DON’T. I love black men, I am afterall black, which means I had a black father and I have black brothers and so on. That doesn’t mean I can’t love a white man too though….and I do…lol
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 15 November 2008:
Beauty, i’m not married. Haven’t found my Queen just yet. In do time though, but until then i’m on my quest to be the complete “Urban Renaissance Man.” Got a lot goin for me so I wanna make sure I get that down first. Marriage is a blessing though so I’m sure i’ll embrace it as it comes as I do wit all God’s gifts.
C
Comment by yume247 on 15 November 2008:
Physically, I am attracted to brothers (black men). But I connect better with white men on an emotional and mental level. I find them to be more emotionally matured. With a few exceptions, they tend to be more respectful and serious about relationships.
Comment by jenn on 16 November 2008:
I find it interesting that you guys have dated dark skinned Black men in that past and are dark skinned yourself. You must not be from the south lol. Dark skin Black men avoid dark skin Black women like the plague in my experience. The Black men that I have been with have all been light skinned or mixed, not necessarily by my own choice, but because they were always the ones approaching me. I will admit though I have grown to find the more attractive because the self hate in dark skin Black men is a huge turnoff.
As far as whatshisface, look nobody is reading your garbage. You got your ass handed to you in the discussion because you didn’t know what you were talking about you were just angry to see Black women happy. So be smart and give up and stop replying trying to fix your bruised, idiotic ego. P.S., lying and making up stats isn’t a good strategy to win an argument, especially when you already lost. Mixed race children with Black fathers are the most likely to not know their fathers or be brought up in single mother headed homes. Ho hum. Surprise, surprise. Black men are running out on their responsibilities with women, no matter the race. The same cannot be said of Black women. I have stats to prove my case, you don’t. You fail. Epically.
Good day
Lastly, Beauty, I don’t hate Black men. I’m just going to call it like I see it, especially now that they are attempting to rage some type of public verbal war against Black women. I will speak out and defend sistas and thats exactly what I’m doing. So its not hate, its really not even drawn from personal experience because the relationships I’ve had with Black men didn’t leave me scarred or anything. I just will not stand idly by while they attempt to throw Black women under the bus and destroy our names in order to make themselves look better (or less worse anyway). Just won’t do it.
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 16 November 2008:
See
I really didn’t even want to respond to her. I was trying to be nice but since this debate is heating up. I decided to back up my arguments and of course respond to “nappy head”. Of course with all due respect.
Now she is blaming black men for allegedly discriminating against dark skin women. I personally have never seen that and I am a dark skin man. God, I do not know pathetic women like her keep running around telling people this. Maybe you are just unattractive it has nothing to do with you being dark skin. That is the problem with some sellout black women; their ego will not allow them to think that maybe your just not attractive. That is not a color thing, if black men saw an Ethiopian girl from Africa and was hot. We would try to talk to her directly.
Then you claim I spread lies, about what exactly. Bring out your statistics; I am waiting to see them. Perhaps you are upset I responded with a rebuttal that you did not like. Why would I be angry to see black women happy? You are the one up on this board bashing black men and talking about they do not like you because of your dark skin. I do not make up statistics because you cannot lie about numbers. You should know this if you attended college. I am not even mad, I am listening to you.
I will put it to you like this. Some black men are raised in single parents home. God bless the mother for doing what she can under whatever circumstances. My parent’s generation did not have a high divorce rate as they do now. In addition, the single rate for black women was not that high. Fast forward to the way things are now.
Now you are blaming black men for your poor decisions in men you date. So running to the white man will solve all your problems. If that was the case black men would not be overlapping you when it comes to interracial dating. What is your excuse now that “White men” just did not get the “memo” about us. Yea they know about you they just ain’t falling for the bullshit.
Your excuse is “well white men are scared off by us”. UM no try another excuse. Well White men just do not know they can date us. HMMMM wrong, try again. Well black men have brainwashed us with mind control. HMMM lol no we have not. The answer is white men will chose to date a white women, Latin woman and Asian woman before your ass! So you can front for people here but that will not solve the underlying issue.
If you were such a “catch for dating,” a majority of black men would not be leaving your ass alone with a child. So do not give me your speech about how you are going to be “different” to white men. I know white men that cannot deal with their black baby mother right now. You can sit there and blame black men until your blue in the face. At some point, some of you are reinforcing that poor image.
You even admit you will manipulate white men. Then make some excuse, dump them, and go back to black men. This has happened on more than one occasion. I am not hating I seen that happen first hand. I know girls that are doing that right now. Stop fooling people on here man.
You show me the stats about black women.
Here is an article
http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=0b237a9b1f0ed62a9fb384dbaa7ffb43
Excerpts from the article
Twenty percent of black single mothers in the study had been divorced, but 62 percent had never been married – suggesting that black single mothers – more than any ethnic group – were most likely to have never been married.
SIXTY-TWO PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not just black men not proposing to you. Maybe I am reading this wrong.
Another excerpt from the article
Nearly one third of all single mothers – 32 percent – live below the poverty line. However, the condition is more acute for black single mothers: 38 percent, or 1.2 million of 3.1 million black single mothers raise families below the poverty line, according to Census data.
THIRTY-EIGHT PERCENT Black women got a right to be angry. It is not as if I am insensitive here. I just do not think White Boy “Billy” is coming to rescue you out of poverty. However, these 1.2 million black women that people on this board overlook. They need strong black men that care about them like me. Therefore, this whole crap about me worried about not finding a “date”. I will repeat it one time, and then again, you must be sniffing glue.
In conclusion I wasn’t wrong when I said black women want “Billy” for his money and get them out of their debt. You can disagree with me but you can’t argue numbers. What she is going to do now is giving you “personal stories” of “never seeing that”. I don’t deal with stories just numbers.
You had better come with something better than that. Show your stats Mrs. Nappy Head
Good day to you
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 16 November 2008:
I choose Black women over White, Asian, and Hispanic all day every day. I date all different races of women, but a man’s got his preferences. Black women to me have much more of a stronger sense of substance, pride, and culture. Queens definitely has his stats fa sure, but I really think this whole “interracial mentality” is the forefront for what WILL BE rather than what is and has been. And I wouldn’t put the whole race in these statistical categories, but I have seen the good, bad, and ugly that Queens and all the other women on this blog talk about. In the end I really think the ill comments on this blog is a waste b/c of the power of love and tolerance that is moving all of us as a people in this world.
In the words of the late great Bob Marley,
“None but ourselves can free our minds.”
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 16 November 2008:
Dear Tampa Chris
You make a good point. I have thought about it. This negativity that I have contributed to has not enhanced my life for the better.
The Bob Marley statement made me think about since I am Jamaican. I have mixed feelings about the whole debate. I want black women to be happy. When I actually read the statistics I can honestly say black men have dropped the ball.
At the end of the day I do not want people to say I was racist. I want people to say that I cared enough to even comment on the situation.
I use to think it was about race. Now I believe it is just about social class at this point. I will keep it real there is certain black women I will not date. As for dating white women I have never tried it or was interested in it. But you never know.
Seems like I am turning over a new leaf. I read an article about a White Marine getting killed by his black fellow marines and his black wife got raped and shot. They say it was just robbery but I think it is more than that. How can you do that to your white homey “who probably” thought you was his friend. That is unforgivable.
I was disgusted by those events and I just think this whole “situation” was a wake up call.
To be honest with you in real life black women that date interracially still mix it up with black men ( not sexually). I have a lot of female friends and I thought about it. It was wrong you treat them like that.
As for the sellout black women that bash us for no just reason. Man I will be on your ass until the end of time!
Tampa Chris your a good guy. I use to live in Poinicana Kissimmee Florida. I actually think your sincere. Your one of the “few white guys” that have the balls to talk about race and dating. You should have a talk show. Homey you know how much money you would make talking about interracial dating.
I should have kept that idea to myself.
Take it easy.
Comment by Tampa_Chris on 17 November 2008:
Well Waaagwaan Mr. Queens. Much respect for the last post and if I do ever have a radio show I will be sure to have you all on it.
Comment by mahogany on 17 November 2008:
i’m married to a white man amd i’m ablack lady we have been married for 5 years now and i got married when i was 18 and he treats me like a true african queen i have dated black guys in the past and they were absolute dogs but i’m not saying all black men are like that because they are not but it all comes down to how my husband treats me and the amazing sex we have and all the things he does to me in bed.white men are a lot more passionate in general and affectionate and i love the way he kisses the back of my neck and he tells me he loves me at least twice a day and he loves my curves even after having a baby and everything he owns is in the colour black.even his white friends that have never been with a black girl before are now very curious about black girls.why do you think abck in the slavery days white rich masters used to like to have a black girl to bath them when thier wives aren’t there.
Comment by mahogany on 17 November 2008:
i’m married to a white man amd i’m ablack lady we have been married for 5 years now and i got married when i was 18 and he treats me like a true african queen i have dated black guys in the past and they were absolute dogs but i’m not saying all black men are like that because they are not but it all comes down to how my husband treats me and the amazing sex we have and all the things he does to me in bed.white men are a lot more passionate in general and affectionate and i love the way he kisses the back of my neck and he tells me he loves me at least twice a day and he loves my curves even after having a baby and everything he owns is in the colour black.even his white friends that have never been with a black girl before are now very curious about black girls.why do you think abck in the slavery days white rich masters used to like to have a black girl to bath them when thier wives aren’t there.
Comment by im just saying on 17 November 2008:
To janet Blount-
I have read the post on here and i do not recall anyone saying they “look at their race in disgust” Just because a woman dates outside her race does not mean she looks at her race in disgust. my dad is black and I love him. I also happen to love dating white men. They seem to love me as well. I get hit on by black men , but more so by white men. I guess that explains why when i go to TCBY I ALWAYS GET vanilla and choclate swirl…YUMMY!
tO ANDRE:
no it’s not double standard.. i find nothing wrong with white women and black men. My cousin has a white g/f. It’s all good to me. That shows family values. We accept them and their babies. We are a tight family like that. you or anyone should never be afraid of what your family thinks. If you are happy.. rock with it! I do..all the time and I don’t care what anybody says. I can not help I am attracted to white men..Not the Vanilla Ice type, but the professional kind…
I remember being 5 years old and my grandmother would watch “Young and the Restless” and i had the biggest crush on Bradley. I use to take naps dreaming about him. I didn’t know what love was back then , but I sure know I felt it when I saw that fine white man. At 5 years old i felt that way. Wow..I can’t help it.
Comment by Golden_Brown on 18 November 2008:
Go Tampa Chris! I’m happy to see that your consistant positivity had some bearing on the outlook of at least one man!
Mr. Queens, like so many before me have said, it is clear that you are an intelligent man. I am happy to see you let go of some of the anger and take the first step past color! I must say, I am beginning to understand what your definition is of a sellout black woman. To you, a black women is a sellout when she completely turns her back on her own race. Your frustration comes when black women stereotyping black men. Please correct me if I have misunderstood.
Once again, I am happy to hear peace from you Mr. Queens, and I’m not trying to re-start a squashed debate. To hear you agree to a new understanding gives me even more positive outlook that others will eventually do the same!
Comment by Golden_Brown on 18 November 2008:
Oh…and Jenn, I use Jay-Z’s quote alot too! LOL
Comment by tatted2death on 18 November 2008:
wow….I go away for awhile and this place does a 180…in a good way. I was glad to see that in my absence Jenn (aka Sista Soujah) stepped up to the plate and did not let Mr. Queens get away with all the inflammatory nonsense that he was known to spew.
but to you MR. Queens…..I am so glad that you have taken a step back and truly rethought your views (well, maybe at least your tactics). I still have much respect for you….peace and love
tatted2death
Comment by Nadege on 19 November 2008:
What Can the White Man Say to the Black Woman?
What is of use in these words I offer in memory of our common mother. And to my daughter.
What can the white man say to the black woman?
For four hundred years he ruled over the black woman’s womb.
Let us be clear. In the barracoons and along the slave shipping coasts of Africa, for more than twenty generations, it was he who dashed our babies brains out against the rocks.
What can the white man say to the black woman?
For four hundred years he determined which black woman’s children would live or die.
Let it be remembered. It was he who placed our children on the auction block in cities all across the eastern half of what is now the United States, and listened to and watched them beg for their mothers’ arms, before being sold to the highest bidder and dragged away.
What can the white man say to the black woman?
We remember that Fannie Lou Hamer, a poor sharecropper on a Mississippi plantation, was one of twenty-one children; and that on plantations ac