Has our attitude about dating outside our races changed? Some writer in Detroit decided to try something different… something new: dating a White man. The attraction was there – good-looking guy with a sense of humor. One thing that was a plus for him was that he was liberal and smart. Being 39, the dude seemed like a viable option. “The older you get, the more open you become to the possibility of love… I would like love to come in a certain form or color. But at the same time I realize that the population of eligible Black men is getting smarter. So I’m openâ€? says the writer.
According to some polls, 45% of black women have been involved in interracial relationships. And as for those who haven’t, it’s not because they lack the opportunities… 70% have been asked out by a white guy. A lady who had watched the movie “Something New� (in which the character falls for a White guy) says that movie was her signal to start chasing and accepting their offers. And she puts it this way: She is now looking for an Ideal White Man instead of an Ideal Black Man.
Most people aren’t fazed at all when they see a Black woman with a White man… Now go ahead and flip the script… Fifty-three percent disapproved of seeing a Black man with a White woman.
Successful black men who choose to “cross over” may draw additional ire because of the perceived notion among black women that Black men who have made it tend to prefer non-Black companions. I think Celebrity couples also play a role in influencing black women’s feelings. Yeah, we’re cool with Halle switching from marrying Black men to dating Gabriel Aubry, a White model. But Kobe, Tiger, Terrence and Taye? Hmmm.
So do black women have double standards when it comes to dating outside the race? Leah who is 36 says while she was strolling with her date who is white, she got some chilling reactions. She got chants from black men: “Sellout! You think you White?”
I don’t know if it was the neighborhood that sees a Black Women and White Men dating as a NO-NO or is it that black men too have their double standards? You tell me.
Tags: black men, dating Mr. white, black women-white men
Popularity: 16% [?]
Comment by CaribPrinces on 23 November 2007:
IT’S ABOUT TIME HOLLYWOOD DID A MOVIE LIKE THIS. HOLLYWOOD NEEDS TO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE. THEY CAN ONLY HIDE THE REAL;ITY THAT WHITE MEN HAVE BEEN CHASING BLACK WOMEN FOR CENTURIES FOR ONLY SO LONG. LETS JUST GET IT ALL OUT IN THE OPEN. WHO EVER DON’T WANT TO SEE IT DON’T HAVE TO GO! THERE SHOULD BE MORE MOVIES LIKE THIS.
Comment by phatkitty on 2 January 2008:
Personally, i saw the movie at the theatre and i bought it on DVD as well; because i really enjoyed it a lot. And i supported it because it was written, directed and produced by an all women team. Need i say more? It was light and comical in some aspects and in other areas, makes you rethink your beliefs and pre-conceived ideas about interracial topics. Will some of us past up a good man based on his lack of a white collar job or social background. He might not wear the right “COLLAR” but he could be the right COLOR. I know, i know, it’s a bit corny, but true.
Think on that ladies.
Comment by Sunshine on 21 January 2008:
I love this movie. I saw it with a girlfriend of mine(who is white). She said I was just like the main character. My friend tells me I never look outside the box. I have my specific list of what I want in a man but when I meet someone he never has any qualities that is on my list. So after I saw this movie I threw away the list. I am letting go and letting love flow!
Where are all the single white men in Washington?
Comment by Online Dating on 26 February 2008:
The folk here in the UK are not quite as liberal yet, for one thing we have large Asian communities spaced around the UK, and Asian culture may not always mix with western culture, I don’t think the younger generation have any big issues with interracial dating but more so the older generation and other subsets of society
Comment by Online Dating on 26 February 2008:
The folk here in the uk are not quite as leberal here yet, for one thing we have a large Asian communities spaced around the UK, and asian culture may not always mix with western culture, I dont think the younger generation have any big issues with interracial dating but more so the older generation other subsets of society
Comment by CaribPrinces on 27 February 2008:
To phatkitty,
To answer your question…yes…I would pass up a good man based on his social background or lack of white color job because for me he needs to have BOTH a white color job AND a good social background in order to be a GOOD MAN. So therefore, he needs to be the right color AND wear the right collar. By the way love your play on words it works well in this situation.
Cheers!
Comment by HereIambaby on 28 February 2008:
there is no guarantee on marriage. it’s something of a risk and something we have to prepare ourselves for. Maybe the problem of marriages not succeeding is because the people involved do not know themselves and the other person’s background enough. I mean, isn’t it important to have someone who suits you and your ways ? And that person might be from your culture or another one. At the same time, cultures do have dominant characteristics, like some cultures are quiet and gentle and others are a bit tough (in their ways) so if for example you’re a sensitive person you’d have to go for the person and the ‘culture’ that coincides with you.There are some good interracial dating sites, such as Blackcentury.com. Maybe you can have a try on it.
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Comment by poetlove on 6 July 2008:
I’m torn on this one, as I try to be as modern and uphold my Christian religion. It’s at times disturbing seeing a black women with a white guy. I don’t know if it’s psychological or what but it’ll get to you. I personally have only hung out with white women no real dating, except back in high school. So I don’t think I fall into the hypocrite category until I date somebody but anyway it’s still disturbing
Comment by newyorkgirl on 8 July 2008:
What is “Christian” about racism poetlove? I have the read the Bible cover to cover. Please quote the verse that states that racism is correct.
Comment by TheAirman on 26 July 2008:
There is a double-standard and I think that Black Women as a whole need to admit that.
I left Japan a few months ago. I did a two-year tour there for the Air Force. My girlfriend, with whom I still share a relationship, is Japanese. Why? Because there are more Japanese women in Japan than Black women, or American women for that matter.
However, to one particular single mother, I was dating her because I did not like to date someone who looks like my mother, or some nonsense to that effect. I was unwilling to date someone with my skin tone.
And there’s the discrepancy.
Whenever a Black man dates someone who isn’t black, he is a sell out. He is taking her as a trophy. He is “self-hating”. But whenever a Black woman dates outside of her race, it is ALWAYS because there are no good Black men left; as if we’ve all just vanished into thin f’ing air. That is the biggest insult to Black Men. That, along with perpetuating hte myth that there are more of us in jail and on the streets than in the workforce or in college.
Well, if some of you are really “not attracted” to us at large, then don’t slander us with completely false statistics. Don’t get mad at us when we walk away from you all.
But what do I know? It’s not like anyone is going to listen to what a Black Man has to say; not one that tells it like it is, anyway.
Comment by seancarter03 on 27 July 2008:
Airman I agree with you brother and to be honest I never thought about that mother comment as a reason as to why some of us don’t usually date women of our own culture. Yeah the idea of dating someone who reminds me of my mom is not hot at all, I never understood the whole dating people who reminded you of your parents, maybe characteristics such as strength, intelligence, and tenacity but looking at another shorty Jamaican woman who says my name the way my mom says my name is a little disturbing. I also agree with you when you say a lot of black women act like there aren’t good black men out there but I think a lot of women and men are way too easy to give up or unwilling to try things outside of their comfort zone. Again I wanted to commend you on your comment.
Comment by Jada68 on 31 July 2008:
During the course of my dating years, I’ve dated outside of my race…well honestly, because I was not raised to judge someone on the color of skin more so of what kind of character they are. I eventually married a white man. He was very open minded,cultured, funny. It was unreal the disapproving stares from both of our races. You would like to think society has changed.In the end though he was NOT Mr.RIGHT despite him being Mr.White. I think that some black men do date women outside of their race as some trophy wife (Tiger,Kobe…)when you see a couple, especially an interracial one you can tell (at least I can) as to why they are together love,common interest etc.or if he is doing it cause he wants society’s approval that he is a successful man. If the couple is of the latter option, I have no respect of them. I have seen fine black men with some of the trashest and nasty white/asian women just so they can say they are with that race of woman. So now they have “arrived” and can portray a “successful”black man. I.E. Tiger and Kobe etc. Now that pisses me off to no end.
The gentlemen that has the japanese girlfriend…you know what your intentions and reason are for being with her. Never mind others thoughts. There will always be haters on one issue or another.
In the end, I am not seeking a certain race but I am for sure seeking a certain quality of man. These days the white men are stepping forward, quickly. I look at like this may the best man win.
Comment by naturalcd on 3 August 2008:
I have to confess that in the past I viewed brothers who dated/married white women were sell-outs. On the flip side, I admired black women who dated/married white men. I had that disturbing viewpoint because of the common cliches; I bought into the hype that black men wanted white women because they are more docile, weren’t “ghetto” like black women (whatever that is), had the ideal thin body type, hair, etc. I would literally look at the couple in disgust.
I never thought I would end up being with a white man. Hell, I have been with black and white dogs but held on the fact that I needed to date then eventually marry a black man to uphold that “strong black family” mentality. I never knew that I would fall in love with a white man. I admit it, I had double standards when it came to dating and I kick myself everytime I think about it. Oh, I know that there are a few interracial relationships that exist because of the stereotypes/hype people buy into. But on the other hand, I am realizing that true love can come out of this. I, had to come to terms with my own insecurities being with a white man. Does he want me only because of my curves? Am I some sort of fantasy that he’s playing out? I could not hold onto these doubts any longer because of the way he treats me like a queen…I had to let it go…seriously before I missed out on something special. I’m so sorry that this is a long post but I am soooo glad I was finally able to get this out.
Comment by tellmelater on 5 August 2008:
There is nothing wrong with saying that you want to date someone who reminds you of your mother. Someone who reminds you of her principles, morals, and values. I think that’s what many men do anyway. But those kind of women are hard to find unless you go down south or the DR.(Dominican Republic)
Comment by phatkitty on 6 August 2008:
TO POETLOVE, CORRECT ME IF AM WRONG HERE, WHAT REALLY DISTURBS U THE MOST ABOUT SEEING WM DATING BLK WOMEN IS,THAT BLACK WOMEN SHOULD BE HANDS-OFF RIGHT? AND THAT THEY (WM) HAVE EVERYTHING, WHY SHOULD THEY HAVE ACCESS TO THE BLK WOMEN AS WELL.
IF AM WRONG, ANSWERE ME AND EXPLAIN, BECAUSE I COULD NOT COME UP WITH A BETTER REASON.
Comment by poetlove on 6 August 2008:
To newyork girl I don’t see anthing racist about dating the race you come from. There in lies the doube standard of this site if you find people of your own race attractive your some kind of racist. That’s insane. To phatkitty (sic) I don’t know where your view point is coming from. If something is uncomfortable a little for me and perfectly fine for you that’s means we have a difference in opinions. That’s what that is called. I don’t really see it as the white man has everything and me nothing and the only sacred thing we can hold on to is black women. As that goes white men may have an advantage in a lot of ways as far economic lineage and all of that. But on numerous occasions I and many other black men either ascend higher in business, entertainment, Poetry etc. So they have nothing I covet. I find it appalling that so called open minded people leave all caps messages when I speak how I feel especially in a respectfu way
Peace