Wooing any woman any time

Posted by James, 20 May 09


What is the best course of seduction from the first impression to the morning after? Here are some stages of seduction according to 1000 women.

Asking her out: Being quirky but cute wont cut it. Only 7% of the women interviewed wanted to be asked out by way of a note or mix CD. The best way to ask a woman out is to be straight forward; like with a phone call or conversation. “I think you are amazing. We should do dinner sometime. Is Friday ok with you?” However, avoid coming off as too confident. “Too suave come-ones are an instant weed-out for women,” says one serial dater. One thing to remember is more than 49% of the women who say they have other plans on being asked out really do have other plans and hope that a man would ask her out again. If she likes you, she will mention she is free some other night.

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From dinner to a more intimate repeat: Don’t invite her to your place. Instead, find a natural sequel to the dinner …say some dessert place nearby. The art of successful seduction forbids jumping from tapas to topless. However, you can’t test your compatibility at Starbucks, now can you?

Asking her to your place: Ask her for a nightcap or to check out some DVD or something. Much as honesty is the best policy, straight forward seduction can backfire. “I want you to come back to my place” may work for some women but turns off many. Before making the invite, be on the lookout for gestures of attraction – like her holding your hand when walking to the car. Best move is to let her make the choice between a nightcap at your place and some neutral location.

You have 5 min to tidy your place: Don’t rush for the bedroom. Instead, give your bathroom the once-over. An interviewee confessed that once she is at her date’s house, she is 75% ready … unless the bathroom is grimy. 67% of the women said cleanliness of the bathroom is overriding. And kindly ditch the rose petals in the bedroom. They look too presumptuous.

Making the first move: When? After you have talked and relaxed. Only 22% went for “once we get in the door.” Take your time; offer her a drink, put on some music. Make her feel as a guest (not sleazy) and wait until your bodies have synced. Planting the first kiss is a high-wired undertaking. If she keeps babbling on – trying desperately to fill the silences – then that’s a warning she aint ready. Giving her the kiss once you hit the elevator or attacking her with one isn’t appropriate for most women. Also, stall the tonguing. 61% prefer a short and sweet first kiss. However, if you picked a wrong moment, apologize earnestly. Most women will be up for a second try.

Is she ready for more…?: Follow her lead. If she is ready and comfortable, she will guide your hands from the ‘safe’ zones to zones underneath her clothing. Firmer kisses means she is ready to speed up. Try stopping over her boobs or hips to gauge her reaction. If she tenses, go back to the ‘safe’ zones. But if she moans softly, you’re on. Now you can relocate to the bedroom by pulling her up and leading her there.

Foreplay?: Oh yes. 68% of women said they like to be warmed up slowly. So forget those intimate massages. Keep it simple – like kissing her for at least 10 minutes before peeling her clothes off. Gently graze your fingers on her body to build anticipation. The better you do it, the more passionate the payoff will be.

Undressing her: Help each other disrobe. You get the top, let her get her shoes. Do some slow revealing coz if she ends up naked too quickly, she might feel too vulnerable. Take your time undressing her; stopping to kiss and lick after every peel. Tease her and take time to admire each layer of the peel-off.

Your goal: Do not make giving her an orgasmic, over-the-top sex the primary goal for your first time experience. Make it about making a connection. Women don’t look for some freak show the first time. In fact 83% prefer the missionary position. An orgasm isn’t as important as being gentle, passionate and in tune with what makes her feel good. Establish eye contact between kisses and make her feel sexy by expressing your pleasure.

Communicating during sex: Communication doesn’t mean asking her whether you are pleasing her through the whole experience. I am talking about paying attention to her body language. Too much talking is a turnoff for some. Watch out for her moans and body movement to know if you’ve hit the spot.

The morning after: “I had fun thanks”???? NO! “When can I see you again” is more like it. Use a proper and specific parting line. Tell her you will call her and when you will do it. Knowing you want to see her again validates an emotional and physical connection. Telling her you will call her later without being specific translates to "goodbye and good luck". Most women prefer hearing from you again the same day. Calling is equated to level of interest. The sooner you call, the more sparks you felt…

Hope that helps…

7 responses to "Wooing any woman any time"

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  1.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 10 Jun 10

    All of the things mentioned here seem so obvious but perhaps they are not. What I'm not interested in is the idea that having sex is the goal. Wooing a woman means more than just "getting you some."

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  2.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 02 Jul 09

    I've got a handle on all of the above points. Tidying up (especially the bathroom, and kitchen) and the foreplay, those are my best. However, I'm still working on new approaches. Only 1000 women were intereviewed and a percentage of them agreed with the above mentioned approach. That means there are still some that disagree or feel otherwise, like Apollonaire stated. 'Which woman is which' is my dilemma. That all depends if the woman is even interested in the man at all. Then comes dealing with rejection, a real confidence killer.

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  3.   HealThoid says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 09

    Interesting... But what sign on novelties of the news?

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  4.   Delphine00 says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 09

    On another note, especially here on an on-line dating site, why do some people think that the communications they exchange on-line plus a little chat and an occasional phone call are dates and/or a form of foreplay? I don't get that.

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  5.   deeeba says:
    Posted: 03 Jun 09

    I agree with the kissing analysis. Give me something short and sweet. If I want more than that, you will be the first to know! As for the eye contact...the best turn on of all!!!

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  6.   Apollonaire says:
    Posted: 24 May 09

    Call me weird, but I prefer the straightforward approach. Going through an entire courting system often makes me feel I'm so wild animal and he's the Crocodile Hunter; beating around the bush before he moves in for the kill and throws me in a burlap sack over his shoulder. Great article either way.

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  7.   Austrian says:
    Posted: 20 May 09

    From what I heard women of different age and many backgrounds say, all of the above applies. Of course it depends on the type of contact both are seeking. If it is for a sexy one night stand, both won't 'beat around the bush' - finito! If there is more attraction and desire for a long term relationship, I would like to add how important it is - for many women - to hear compliments which SPECIFICALLY apply just to them, instead of the typical compliments, which women are tired of hearing. This is proof of real appreciation and seriousness. The effort will be rewarded!

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