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Non-black men discover viability of dating black women

Posted by Christelyn, 01 Jul 13

The fact is, America is still a segregated society in some places, and many black women and white men have little contact with one another outside of work and school settings. As a result, many presumptions, stereotypes and suspicions can pepper the dating field, and preclude the development of some really amazing relationships. Many white guys assume that black women aren't an option--either due to lack of proximity or access, or from suppositions that many black women might not be interested.

Matthew and Christelyn discuss the details here...

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

23 responses to "Non-black men discover viability of dating black women"

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  1.   roostergod says:
    Posted: 14 Jun 14

    is there like a blog or forum on this site where u can just chat and ask questions n wat nots???

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  2.   ninjacyborg says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 13

    These vids are a vapid shallow and unrealistic; I can't believe anyone pays these people for anything such as advice or books. Always some opportunistic twits decide to make a business out of everything.

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    • MochaFrenzy says:
      Posted: 14 May 14

      Wow, you are on this site, may I ask why? It is obvious that you need a little help, otherwise you would already have that special lady in your arms. Have you tried any of these techniques to qualify them as "unrealistic and vapid or shallow".

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  3. Posted: 07 Jul 13

    The only negative factor I see coming out of this topic: "Non-black men discover viability of dating black women" ....Stereotypes/Misconceptions seen in media. We all have heard about...... "Forty-two percent of U.S. black women have never been married, double the number of white women who've never tied the knot." Well, with all of the information and youtube videos degrading black women...NON black men are getting bold and taking advantage....like @prettygirl46 stated...."most of the white men are seeking only a sexual thing"...sad to say, but I'm having the exact same issue. These men now believe we are sex starved...(and so some may be) but black women truly want the American dream to get married, re-married, have a beautiful, healthy, happy relationship and have children or have an excellent supporter for fun and adventure and then bring on some mind blowing sex. that's my 2cents.

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    • dave_74 says:
      Posted: 12 Jul 13

      You are contradicting yourself in that you supposedly don't buy into the media yet your words state differently. As much as you may not want to be categorized into what the media might say about AA women, stop and think perhaps white males world wide don't want to be perceived in a highly negatively way either nor anybody for that matter, am I right? Is that type of judgement on anyone fair? I don't think so. You often attract what you project onto others. If you are only finding white men who want nothing more with you than sex, stop and ask yourself why. Are all the worlds white men just crazy people who say and do crazy things? Or perhaps, you may be at least part of the problem? Relationships are a 2 way thing. A little self evaluation goes a long way. Giving negative signals won't attract positivity. My advice is show you have those values that you mention a bit more than showing say other things (too much of your body, too much negativity, for example) and a man (a white one if you so desire) might actually see that. I know it's 2013 and American media might say it's ok to have sex on the first or 2nd date for example. But in reality , you probably aren't going to attract men that are interested in you further than sex if you actually do make such physical intimacy too early in your relationship. Also I suggest you expand your world view a bit, try to think outside the box. Avoid judgement, prejudgement, posting ignorant stuff like "things Caucasians say" because I may be white however I consider myself first and foremost a person a man. I found that just rude, and ignorant on your behalf. Anyways, I am not going to let your negativity reflect on to me. I hope I gave you something to ponder about. Have a nice day.

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      • creamyjava says:
        Posted: 09 Dec 13

        Dave you are absolutely right in everything you said. I'm feeling like you might have a little psychology background ;-).

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    • 1hombrebueno says:
      Posted: 08 Mar 14

      Sylvia, you have made an interesting point. "Most White men" is your experience so it's your truth, Those of us who do, in the long run, are selling ourselves short and may be stuck with guilt. As I wrote on another topic here: just keep sticking to your values and making it clear on your profile. Most guys will get the hint.

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  4.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 13

    Being a very handsome but slightly older white male , I have dated gorgeous women from all over the world. However I did come to the point that I realized that I no longer wanted to be an ATM with a penis. I am a man with feelings , not just a piece of meat in which you can throw your sexy much younger body onto mine in the hopes that sexual activity will lead me to pulling out my Gold Master Card or Platinum World Visa and buying you new things such as jewelry, clothing and shoes. In my quest for true love, I rejected any sign of falseness and/ or materialism and went deep into the deserts , savanna , jungles and slums of Africa to find my true love and found my African Angel. Be true to yourself and your true love will follow.

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    • sylviakhalan says:
      Posted: 10 Jul 13

      It would have been better to have left out the words Jungles and Slums when speaking about your "African" angel. Not a good choice of words babe. (we will put that in the box with, "Stuff Caucasians say"....and shouldn't say. SMH

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      • dave_74 says:
        Posted: 11 Jul 13

        @Sylviakhalan, I included all of those words because it wasn't symbolic or a figuare of speech. They were very literal. My search did take me physically (not just by internet) across the world including Africa. (mostly north and east ) I been across the Sahara (Egypt, Sudan, South Sudan) into the savanna of Kenya/TZ then west Burundi,Uganda, Rwanda and into the DRC (jungles) and last but definitely not least the 2nd largest slum in the world and largest in Africa. I will let you google these places first....LOL. But I will admit your " Not a good choice of words babe. (we will put that in the box with, Stuff Caucasians say.and shouldnt say. SMH") made me laugh and is typical of ignorant American thinking here's why. After doing University Studies in Kenya, I talked to many people about my experiences and led to a conversation about African/Kenyan campus life. I mentioned that it is great except there is this one part of campus that monkeys will jump from trees and will even try to take your bag or book if you aren't careful. Now depending on where you are from , you will either "put that into your box" many Americans black,white etc. actually believed that was a racist comment. However say that to an African or European and they will be smart enough to realize that you actually meant real monkeys actually jumping from real trees and trying to take your real school stuff... You ought to get out more or at the very least watch Nat Geo or something. Contrary to what Americans believe there is a world outside America even if you wish not to hear that from a "Caucasian" living in East Africa (I hate that word, Caucasian... just call me white ...LOL) or Mzungu. Oh and please don't call me babe. I'm taken, my African Angel is my wonderful wife of 2 years and I never speak negative about her however I am more than qualified to speak of the region of where her and her family comes from as I been there and continue to reside in these areas. Curious, Why do you assume that I was speaking negatively about both my wife and her place of origins?.....let me guess, you're American? Anyways I hope my bluntness didn't offend in either comment. Everything was indeed literal and while I don't always get the most thumbs up, I do indeed try to give real advise to those in their quest for true love.

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        • L8dyL8dyL8dy says:
          Posted: 07 Oct 13

          Habari dave_74! I am a Black American woman and I have to agree with you on every word. I am fortunate to work internationally, mostly in Africa (East, Central, & West) and in Europe. It's my opinion that most Black Americans are still easily offended by certain words related to Africa, but I don't think you meant any harm at all. BTW, I worked in Kenya for a few months in Kisumu, and I did pass the Kibera slum you are referring to in Nairobi . When I first started working overseas, I was 25 years old, and that's when I realized that white men (in other countries) actually are interested, attracted to, love, and marry black women. Believe it or not, I have been called a Mzungu by the Luo children in Western Kenya - hilarious! Congratulations on finding your angel! Hoping to find mine soon. Kwaheri!

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    • janova1107 says:
      Posted: 04 Aug 13

      It's obvious you appear to have a low/poor opinion of women here in the US. If my comprehension of what you wrote is wrong, then I apologize...I'm not here to bash or pass judgement, it's simply what I take away from what you've written. I'm a black woman born and raised in the US and I can safely say that I'm open to just about any race when it comes to dating. I admit that I could not always say that. I'd only dated within my race for the better part of my life and had never considered dating any other, not for lack of interest, but for fear of rejection. When I decided to broaden my horizons in the dating arena, I met and married a man from the Middle East. Our marriage lasted 8 years and ended a little over a year ago. Although my ex husband was of a different nationality and country, I never gained a negative outlook on American men even with all the horrible relationships I had endured. I'm sorry your experience with American women left such a bad taste in your mouth and you saw fit to have to go that far to seek out and find your soul mate, but I'm happy you actually found her.....kudos to anyone who's fortunate enough to find true love that's mutual nowadays. Bottom line here is, we're not all like that of what you've described. I know you've most likely based your personal opinion on your past experiences, but it doesn't justify a fair assessment of the American woman. I don't fit the bill and I know many other women here in the US that don't fall under this criteria. I see so many white men that have actually overlooked black women here and have married black women from other countries. We often get skipped over because of the negative flack the media tends to feed this country and I'm so tired of it. All black women are not the typical stereotyped ghetto gold digging monsters society deems us to be. It's funny how in other countries, a man who seeks marriage must be well endowed financially and able to support their wives. It is a requirement in my ex husband's country that any man who wants to wed any of his sisters, cousins, etc.....must be financially established in the eyes of her father, brothers, or who ever is the head of the house, and although I'm not in agreement with this type of thing, I think it's unfair that when women in the US look for the same in her lifelong partner, she's called your typical Gold Digger. The Gold Digger is a certain type of woman, seeking any opportunity afforded her to gain and prosper beyond, with very little or zero contribution on her part.....love isn't a part of her makeup. This kind of woman comes from many walks of life and she can be found anywhere in the world.....yes, even the slums of Africa, etc.....I'd think they'd be more prominent there, and I'm not saying such that of your African Angel, but easy on the harsh judgement of us. I wish you and your wife many blessed years of happiness.

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    • Ernine says:
      Posted: 17 Nov 13

      Lol hahaha, Jungles and slums of African, why did I think of that. lol ;p

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    • Oneinamill8 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 15

      Dave something in how you presented your story bothers me. I'm going to think on it some more but it's bothersome to me.

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  5. Posted: 07 Jul 13

    Most of the white men that I have met seem to only want a sexual thing from me and it's hard to find white guys that want to date me. I like all the nice compliments but they seem to be afraid to take it to the next step. It's even harder when they live far away. For me if I like someone and they are far away, I will make an effort to meet with that person.

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    • exieluv says:
      Posted: 22 Jul 13

      I have dated several white guys & sex wasn't their only want from me

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    • PN2065518963 says:
      Posted: 14 May 14

      When I was in my early teens my mother married a black man, giving me an interracial brady bunch upbringing. Even though I've tested the waters on all sides I'm at the point where I want to find my soul mate. Every time I fantasize about the woman I want to grow old with I picture a black women. I'm hooked. So much so that it's caused me to be intimidated by there beauty and in return i didn't seize the opportunity to take the relationship to the next level. When I read these articles and heard people opinions on white men I thought "I must of appeared that way" the truth is it wasn't that I just wanted sex or wasn't interested in a relationship, I was just tripping up on my own insecurities. And because of that lost my black queen. I guess what I'm saying is it's not always what it appears to be. We both need to slow down and try to understand everybodys point of view. I know If I would of I might of lived my fairy tale.

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    • Oneinamill8 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 15

      Prettygirl, in your estimation how many black men do you think approached you wanting to date you seriously versus just wanting some casual sex? Do you think that number would be higher or lower than the white man who approached if the numbers were equal? Let's be realistic, most men who approach us, women that is, do not want to be our potential husband. They think we're hot and they want to do us. Black, white, brown this is a man's operandi. So, just like you would screen any race of man who steps to you treat white men the same.

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  6.   statician says:
    Posted: 01 Jul 13

    In my area Kampala UG,its totally hard to find a single white man for dating or more.I was once with one since 14yrs old up to when iam 17 yrs old.Ever since i have never dated any man of my race.I wish i can find a white man here for love and more.Because am addicted to them but few of them are found in my area and its hard to know who is single and searching for a black gal.

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    • dave_74 says:
      Posted: 12 Jul 13

      @Statician, First off. Kampala is a very lovely city. I have quite a few friends from your city , men, women , black and white. I can tell you this most of my white male friends from Kampala are either married to black women or are in relationships with black women. While I can't put an exact number nor percentage on how many white men in your area are single and searching for a black gal, based on what I've seen. If a white man in Kampala is single chances are very high that he would be interested in a black gal. So if he's not holding hands with a white woman nor has a white baby strapped on to him... you might consider sparking up a conversation and seeing where it goes. Good luck to you.

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