Strip clubs, porn and you

Posted by James, 25 Nov 09

She broke up with him because of the other women in his life. Only the girls know these women are the infamous cyber porn queens. “I thought I was special to him. When I caught him, it felt like he was cheating on me.”

As we all know, the porn industry has been growing at an alarming rate – much faster than the porn stars arouse appendages. Much as some women admit to watching porn, men still outstrip women by far.

So why does he dig porn? Curiosity, fulfilling desire to watch their fantasies acted out, to aid in masturbation and for some, to avoid intimacy in relationships.

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Celebrity sexologist Louanne Cole Weston, author of Sex Matters says, “Sometimes people are just going to it to fill gap in their relationship. They have a partner who doesn’t like to do oral sex and they love it themselves, and they are in this relationship and they want to stay, so they look at pictures of oral sex.”That’s a reason most women can live with. But if a dude is using it to pleasure himself and neglecting you, then there’s a problem… Some use porn out of a desire for control. Women in porn don’t talk back, judge or say “No” like real women do.

Most women go livid when they discover a stash of porn collections in the dude’s closet. I think before jumping into quitting the relationship, I believe there are many issues going on that you need to uncover.

Dr. Marlene Wasserman feels you should start by asking yourself why you feel upset. “It’s often not actually about porn but about your own insecurities… about your body image or about your relationship, where the problem often stems from fear of betrayal…”

Unless his porn impacts on your relationship, like confusing fantasy of porn with reality and wants you to emulate it, then try to give him a break. But then again you could reach a compromise you are comfortable with. If he fancies sexy knickers, I don’t think it would hurt to indulge him.

Everyone has boundaries they can’t cross. So if your partner truly respects you; whether its about a request for some kinky sex or just about porn, put your foot down and calmly tell him you don’t like it and see if a compromise can be negotiated.

And if he has a problem with porn and isn’t able to get out, then you deserve a better man than one who puts his sexual satisfaction above your happiness.

6 responses to "Strip clubs, porn and you"

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  1.   hmontaq says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 10

    Watch with him... problem solved.

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  2.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 10

    Every man watches porn, it's just a basic fact.

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  3. Posted: 28 Nov 09

    If simple conversation and talking does not work to make your man please you instead of being obsessed with porn, try using a car battery copper wire and a tub full of water. LOL Convincing is not that hard and can be very easy to show your man that your needs need to be met!

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  4. Posted: 28 Nov 09

    If your man is not licking your pussy that means he does not really love you. It means he thinks you are dirty down there and he thinks you are not good enough to touch. Make sure your man puts his fingers and tongue in your pussy hole during lovemaking. And make sure your man also stays out of your butthole, anal sex is unnatural and gross. It will make you smell like butthole juice and colon fondue. Be natural during sex. Have your man lick your pussy hole from front to back, but NOT your butthole unless you like the taste of butthole juice and feces souffle. YUCK.

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  5. Posted: 27 Nov 09

    Men look at porn for various reasons as the article posted stated. If it's an obsessive habit, that's a red flag. He if induldges in watching porn & he's neglecting his duties to his woman; if he's less attentive to your needs sexually & prefers to watching porn no matter how you've expressed your feelings asking him not to; definitely a big problem obviously for his own selfish reasons. This is also a sickness w/some people. Time to re-evaluate your relationship; if no compromise about the issue can be reached; you can encourage him to get help & offer to go with him to his sessions or u may dig a little deeper & realize there is a serious uderlying problem with him & his porn addiction. Is it worth the stress & emotional toll you go through to save your relationship? If couples watch porn together because the two of them get more turned on and it makes their moments of making love after watching porn together, go for it. Anything to enhance the passion of intimacy is a plus and to some it takes something different. Definitely an issue one has to evaluate for onesself if this is an issue at hand in your relationship. A very touchy subject.......

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  6.   hmontaq says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 09

    Keep an open mind, talk, and compromise... He will need to do it too when he finds that rubber fist in your closet.

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