Asian Women Dating
Many American men have an idealized view of Asian women. They are beautiful, compliant, obedient, great cooks, good housekeepers and hot in bed. These days we see many older men, in particular, married to much younger Asian women – especially Thai and Filipina women.
But what is the truth about these interracial relationships between American men and Asian women? And what do we mean when we use the broad term 'Asian'? Let’s lift the curtain, and take a look at some of the realities that you will meet when you choose to date, fall in love with, and have a lifetime relationship with an Asian woman.
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First of all, let’s understand that Asia is a huge continent made up of many countries with radically different cultures and ways of life. Many Asian families have come to the United States to make a new life for themselves, and so it’s entirely likely that you will meet Asian women in your day to day life, especially if you live in a big city. Or, lured by the myths about Asian women, you might seek a mate directly from one of the Asian countries, and as we have said, the honey pots are Thailand and the Philippines.
Whatever your circumstances, it’s a great idea to know a little about the very different Asian cultures which are represented in the United States. People identifying themselves as being of Asian origin make up around 5.6% of the population of the US. In order of size of population, the largest number of Asian origin people are Chinese, 3.79 million, followed by Filipinos, just slightly fewer at 3.41 million, next comes so called Asian Indians (to distinguish them from ethnic American Indians) with 3.18 million, Vietnamese people, 1.73 million, Koreans, 1.73 million, and finally the Japanese, 1.4 million. Other countries of origin represented include Burma, Laos, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Thailand, Cambodia and Taiwan.
The above numbers include people who may have a mixed heritage, including Hispanic and Native American, so the picture can get really complicated! But as usual, it’s the way a person identifies themselves which counts. If someone tells you they are Chinese American, then that is exactly what you should take them as.
Let’s take a look at some statistics which tell us how likely an inter-racial marriage to an Asian woman is to be a success. Around 1% of white males in the US are married to Asian women, and the divorce statistics for these couples are pretty much the same as for white men married to white women. (The figure for white women married to Asian males is around a 1/3 of 1%.)
In 2008, statistics show that around 29% of all Asians had married into a race not their own. That is a very high figure, and gives hope for those who dream of settling down with an Asian partner. In broad terms, marrying a white person is thought to be marrying “up” in social class and economic circumstances by many Asians. This is not to imply that Asian women are gold-diggers, but they may well see a white partner as being desirable for social as well as romance reasons. There is also the feeling that any resulting children will have a better ethnic mix, and will be able to achieve more in life.
When it comes to co-habiting, a huge 45% of Asian American women live with European American men. Given the number of potential partners available to them within their own racial group, this is perhaps not surprising, but it does indicate that for many Asian Americans, marrying or living together with a man of a different racial origin is completely acceptable and normal.
There are differences between people of differing Asian origins, so let’s take a look at the general characteristics and attitudes that you might find in women belonging to the main groups which make up the Asian American population. Specifically, we’ll look at what you can expect if you date an Asian woman from three of the main groups in the US Chinese Filipina and Asian Indian. Again, let’s emphasize that these are generalities – each woman is an individual and may vary greatly from the usual for her age, educational and cultural background.
Chinese people are very heavily family oriented. You can expect a lot of involvement with her family. If they don’t like you, your relationship might be doomed. There is an upside to this however, in that the traditional Chinese family will be very supportive, even down to such things as buying you your first home. Your Chinese in laws, should you ever get into a married relationship, or even if you are co-habiting, will want to be very close to the upbringing of your children, and this can cause friction down the line. Another plus side though is that you can expect your Chinese partner to be very respectful of your family, especially the older members, and they are going to like that!
It’s a truism that Chinese culture can be very materialistic, and some women see a western partner as simply a meal ticket. They’ll expect to have everything paid for, and wouldn’t dream of chipping in to help with the cost of a date, an outing or a mutual purchase. However this is only some Chinese women. Generally, educated Chinese women are as liberated as the next person in matters of money – but gold-digging is always something to be on the watch for.
Frankly Strange Views About Health
Even Chinese women with a good western education will be very likely to hold strong and perhaps unusual views about health and diet. In particular, they might fuss about heating and cooling foods, and be aghast at the American habit of eating ice-cream all the year round, instead of just in the hot weather, and of drinking ice water with meals. If you get sick, prepare to be plied with strange potions, you might even be talked into acupuncture or therapeutic massage. The wise man will see this as an opportunity to broaden his cultural outlook. The timid man might be scared off!
Some Chinese girls just live for fashion. Well, of course, some girls of all races just live for fashion. But Chinese women have made it an art form. So be prepared for her to spend what you consider ludicrous amounts of her hard earned money – and maybe yours too – on shoes and purses and other must-have trivia.
Chinese women do age well, that is an observable fact. It’s just something in their genes; they stay slim, they often have great bone structure, delicious skin and lovely hair – things which will last. Although looks are by no means everything in a relationship, and if you love a women, she’ll be beautiful in your eyes for ever, it’s nice to know that your Chines partner is likely not to lose her looks any time soon.
If she has a career, expect to play second fiddle to her work a lot of the time. She may also want to put off having that family until later. That’s true of women of all races, but the stereotype of the hard driven Chinese child with a Tiger Mother is actually not that much of a stereotype. She will very likely be used to working hard and will be hooked on success.
Her Religion Might Surprise You
Chinese origin people are the most likely of all ethnic groups in the US not to express a religious belief – some 52% of Chinese adults in fact. But if the girl you meet is religious, she is like to be a Christian (30%) rather than a Buddhist (15%)
The second largest Asian ethnic group in the US are Filipinos. The Philippines is a teaming and crowded country, and for many Filipinas, coming to the USA is still a dream – even if it means being a mail order bride. But it would be entirely wrong to tar all Filipinas with this same brush.
Filipinas who are second or more generation in the USA are just as likely to have a good education and a great job as any other woman. Sure, if you go on line and find a cute Filipina who lives in the Philippines, meet up and decide to get married, that may be because she had ambition to come to the US and have a better life. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that she won’t fall in love. In fact, one of the happiest married couples I know are an American man in his eighties, and a Filipina in her thirties. They are devout Christians, he is a retired business man, she is a lawyer, and they met on line. This is not the usual picture of a relationship between a much older man and a Filipina, but it isn’t unique. Many Filipinas are smart career women who like any person, seek a good loving partner, and they are not prejudiced against relationships with older men or with foreigners, come to that.
So what might you expect from a Filipina partner?
It’s a superficial comment, but yes, women from the Philippines are often lovely to look at, with beautiful skin and hair, petite figures, and charming smiles. That’s not a bad place to start if you’re looking for someone to love.
Generally, although Filipinas often take menial jobs when they first arrive in the US, they are well educated. They almost exclusively speak English, which is taught from a very early age in the Philippines, and although they might seem like pretty little dolls, behind the sweetness you will usually find a very sharp mind.
The Philippines is a largely Catholic country, and women from the Philippines will generally have had a fairly strict upbringing. They value family, respect their elders, and will prioritize the needs of family and friends. They believe in old fashioned values and will be very likely to attend church.
Their moral values and family orientation attract many Filipinas to the caring professions. Nursing, medicine in general and teaching are all professions which appeal to the gentle and caring Filipino nature. You’ll also find them very loving in an intimate relationship.
Filipinas Make Excellent Homemakers
Filipinas are taught by their mothers to look after the home, and they are frugal money managers. Your home will be meticulously clean, tidy and attractive, with delicious meals served up on a regular basis. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but you can expect your home to be neat and tidy and your domestic budget to be balanced.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. You can find Filipinas who are untidy, plain to look at, immoral and gold digging. However, this is not the norm. If you are looking for an interracial relationship, then perhaps finding a Filipina to date might be a great place to start.
There are many online sites where you can meet Filipinas, but second and third generation Filipinas in the US are most likely to be encountered in the Cities of Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego. The next best place to meet Filipinas is Hawaii – which is an attractive prospect as you are also going to meet lovely Hawaiian American girls there too!
Asian Indian Women – The Least Likely To Be Interested In You!
Making one percent of the US population, Asian Indians are found throughout the United States, but the highest concentration is in the New York area. To meet Asian Indian Americans, just head for any part of town nicknamed Little India! However, Asian Indian women are the least likely of all racial groups to marry out, overwhelming choosing to marry men of their own ethnicity.
Should you meet and become involved with an Asian Indian woman, what can you expect?
Because it’s so unusual for Asian Indian women to marry outside of their race, any woman who is even considering you is going to be by definition a person who is prepared to swim against the stream. Whether that is a good or a bad thing is for you to decide!
70% of Asian Indians have a Bachelor’s Degree or higher, so she is going to be sharp and probably, career minded. Even if she doesn’t have that qualification, she is likely to be a person who values and respects education very highly; a reflection of overall cultural values.
India is a very vibrant, varied country, and subjects such as religion, sex and politics can lead to explosive discussion very easily. So your Indian friend might well want to keep to neutral topics until you have got to know each other better. Subjects such as favorite books, places to eat, films she enjoys, her studies or her work, vacations spots that she likes and so on are likely to be safe areas. She might not want to respond very much to questions about her culture, so, just relax and keep the conversation light until you feel it might be OK to venture into deeper waters.
It’s an Asian Indian joke that girls from the north of India are beautiful but stupid, whereas girls from the south are plain but smart. This is of course a wild generalization, but there may be a little truth in it somewhere. Northern Indian girls can be startlingly beautiful, but Indian women do tend to lose their looks as they get older – possibly due to the delicious and rich Indian food that is such an important part of their culture.
In common with many Asian women, Asian Indians are very family oriented, enjoy close relationships not only with their parents and siblings, but with an astonishing variety of cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents and their parents’ friends who become nominal aunties and uncles. Be prepared to meet and greet all of these individuals, and to be the subject of intense scrutiny and questioning by all of them. If you get as far as meeting the family, then you have overcome a major obstacle to the progress of your relationship. If she is prepared to meet the potential wrath of her family, then you can indeed consider yourself someone special to her.
The longer the family has been in the US, the more westernized they are likely to be with regard to the importance of the family. However, you need to be prepared for intensive involvement with your partner’s family from the word go. This might even mean that your wife, should you marry, would believe it to be her duty to continue to send a large amount of her income to impecunious relatives in India. She might even expect you to chip in. Your home might become an informal hotel for any and all friends and relatives for seemingly endless visits. Just be prepared for the juggernaut which is the Asian Indian family!
Dating is a big thing to an Asian Indian woman. If you’re dating, there will be nothing casual about it in her mind. She, and of course her family, will assume that your intention is to marry her. If this isn’t your intention, then you probably aren’t being very fair, and you should back off unless you are absolutely certain that she is taking a casual view as well.
Because India isn’t just one culture, but hundreds of cultures, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what cultural differences there are going to be. You might find some things shocking, such as a belief in the caste system, or that people who do menial jobs are to be looked down upon. You are certainly going to find differences in taste in music, films (get ready to love Bollywood) TV shows, décor and especially of course, food. This is all part of the fun of an inter-racial relationship of course, but some of the differences might be pretty stark at first. Just go with the flow, keep your mouth shut and your ears open, and admire her mother’s cooking whatever your private feelings, and you won’t go far wrong.
Traditional values are still important in Asian Indian society. If you marry, your wife will be a good homemaker, a good mother, and she will be loyal to you and to your marriage. She’ll appreciate being treated as an equal – something which many Asian Indian men don’t offer to their wives, and a big bonus in your favor.
Indian women do love drama. Of course, not all of them; as we always say, these are generalities. But be prepared for tears, tantrums and a certain amount of throwing of kitchen items. It’s part of their charm. They can also be very controlling, especially once the children start to come along – beware that you may come a long way second to any sons and daughters.
On the whole, Asian Indian women who are second and third generation in the US will be career women in their own right, and will have an independent attitude to money. Once you are a fixed item though, she will expect you to treat her nicely, making gifts of jewels on appropriate occasions and ensuring she had a standard of living at least as good as she would if she stayed with her (usually) doting parents. She’s going to expect you to be at least as successful as she is in your career; after all she worked hard to scramble her way up the ladder, and she isn’t looking to marry beneath what she believes is her status.
Whatever your choice of Asian woman, you can be sure of one thing. If you approach the relationship open heartedly - looking for love and not for a servant or a sex doll - you are going to find a good woman out there is is just the right person for you.
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