Menu

Nice girls vs. ice queens

Posted by James, 03 Jun

Why does the sweet girl-next-door always lose out to the drama queen?

Paired together, men always rush for the b**chy babe but not primarily driven by her looks and figure. The motivation runs much deeper … Men overlook the sweet girl for the conceited hot number who only needs the smallest encroachment to breathe fire on you because of two words: Control. Conquest.

Find your soulmate on InterracialDatingCentral

Join Free

Unconsciously, men need controlling women in their lives because it breeds confidence. Now this is one thing b**ches know that nice girls don’t. They know by being b**chy, there is always a man dying for Conquest so he can beat his chest in front of his mates … “ I (long pause) have nailed the hottie.” Childish? That’s just the way it is.

We men seek not the bird in hand … it’s the bird in the bush that motivates us … it’s the prolonged chase that fascinates us. A man will keep the sweet girl waiting with dinner at home, come home drank to find her worried and waiting up with the meal in the microwave. The b**ch on the other hand will cancel that preplanned dinner (last minute) and a dude will still drive across town at wee hours of the night when she beckons.

I think nice girls get relegated to the friend zone because the script is predictable. We always know where she is, what she wants and that she will always be willing to forgive us our transgressions. This doormat approach to courting don’t work these days. Its no wonder the dating scene is littered with broken hearts mostly belonging to the nice girls … hanging on to the consolation that the man does not know what he lost.

Men claim not to like drama … it’s exactly what we need. It’s what motivates most of us to become more ambitious and successful even in our careers – just to prove to the next queen bee that we can cater to her every whim … as long as she is willing to remain adorned in our arms and make our mates green with envy. (Sorry if I came off piggy. Just putting a point across. ;-) )

Does this mean all nice girls should work on becoming b**chy now? What happened to getting attracted to the loving, nurturing woman?

Related Stories

More Advice Articles

23 responses to "Nice girls vs. ice queens"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   e4exuberance says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 12

    I am the nice girl and it does seem like that saying "nice guys finish last" applies to nice ladies as well. Really its OK to be nice, just don't be spineless. When you lack a backbone people will turn your kindness against you and use it as a weakness. I am one of those ladies who hates to play games... but it sure seems like when you do you get much further. SAD SAD SAD. Dating should not feel like work.....

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  2.   Obsession27 says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 12

    I Think all the BS and psychology is crap. This is one persons opinion. Should we become someone else in the name of love? I guess women will see me as boring because I do not agree totally with this article. I for one DON NOT CARE FOR NOW DO I WANT ANY DRAMA BS AND GAME PLAYING. I believe there is someone out there for everyone and I will do what i can and leave the rest to God. Everyone has an opinion.Use what you can and take the rest with a grain of salt. If you're a nice person Protect yourself, set boundaries but don't become a bitch because someone tells you you should be one. First off unless you really are it is not going to come off right and second you are going to draw all the wrong people and miss the person you are looking for.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  3.   caliguy85 says:
    Posted: 05 Feb 12

    This article is funny bcuz women do the same thing!! How come all the thugs, players, pimps, trap-stars get all the women chasing after them? Better yet how come all those kind of guys have multiple baby mommas? Women are willing to have kids with men who live negative lifestyles and who are involved with multiple women? Oh and married men as well lol

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  4.   anonymous26 says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 10

    I agree with Petitechick!! I think a woman can have many sides to her. Me personally I can be either, depending which side you bring out.. You can't tell me a woman can be completely sweet all the time and drama free.. or in reverse a drama queen all the time and not ever sweet??

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  5.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 25 Jun 10

    Well I guess I could say I'm a little of both. I can be the sweetest most amenable person to a mate, friend or other when I am being treated with respect that I offer others. I don't like to fuss really. Very outgoing and I really enjoy people in general. HOWEVER, when and if I'm pushed I will come at you like a storm you're dying to get out from under. It takes an awful lot to really anger me. So if that relegates me to being an ice queen, I gladly wear the title. I just don't like people taking me for granted and ph---ing with me!!! LOL.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • Friendly13 says:
      Posted: 19 Feb 12

      @PetiteChick & anonymous26 I think both of you ladies hit the nail right on the head. Some men want to be disrspectful and then call us names when we confront the issue. If many of them were real with themselves they know they caused the Ice Queen personality to rise up within us. Noone wants to be a door mat.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
  6.   Violetq says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    im a Ice queen...and men always come too me.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  7.   sites says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 09

    I was going to chime in, but gentleman972 hit the nail on the head. James is only talking about one type of man in this article, and i hesitate to even call the subject a man. Regardless of age, he is just a boy if he chases the b*tchy drama queen.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  8.   Shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 09

    Answering the first question of this blog: Why does the sweet girl-next-door always lose out to the drama queen?".... I’m guessing that “certain” men are attracted to “certain” superficial traits and are just (for whatever reason) turned off by the "nice girl" type. It's less intriguing or perhaps boring to them. Who knows

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  9.   lola73 says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 09

    Dream...your so right but that's exactly what makes me alittle sad and I believe I won't find someone to love because of the behaviors you mentioned above. Best of luck to everyone else...

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  10.   _dream_ says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 09

    tipping my hat to gentleman972. i don't think the article was meant to include all men in general, but a significant amount, my best friend is a man, and he does gravitae toward the dramatics- and his reasons were the two words listed in the article- control and conquest. he does enjoy the challenge, but once the conquest is complete, he's finished. i think when it becomes an entire relationship, it becomes a deeper psychological issue, and one that is the same in both men and women- some people don't feel loved unless someone is, well, crazy about them. i know women who don't feel loved if their partner isn't controlling, and men that don't feel loved if she isn't breathing fire and following him two car lengths back in a rental to see where he's going. we learn what love is from a man or woman by the love we receive growing up from a father or mother. if we didn't get it we learn from the media or from our peers. if we get it and it isn't healthy, we mimic it because we don't realize it. some of us wake up and catch on, others never do.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  11.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 09

    Please don't let's celebrate this sexist nonsense as anything more than the chest-beating ravings of an opinionated jackass. Unless of course he's trying to be funny in which case he isn't. Being funny. Assuming that "James" is a dude of course. Some men were bred to be gentlemen. That means that they don't use word "bitch" except possibly in reference to female hounds and the like and NEVER, even in it's censored version, to humans. See men don't get their sense of worth from others. It's internal. Little boys are always looking for reinforcement for what they do, whether from their peers (and if their peers are impressed by “ I (long pause) have nailed the hottie,” childish hardly even begins to describe them. And if your peers have any more than a general assumption about your sex life, here's your card). If I made unfounded, ignorant generalizations about a racial group and let's say used a certain word beginning with an "n" to refer to that group, I hope to hell I wouldn't be published on this site or any place that doesn't cater to bigots. If this is a sincere attempt to explain anything by this self-avowed "drama queen" it does nothing of the kind except to explain what sort of a boy he is at the center. I hope this garbage is removed from this site forthwith before anyone else is exposed to these sexist ramblings.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  12.   katlu8984 says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 09

    There does seem to be a sense of truth in this article. But I do agree that it all goes both ways. I think men enjoy complication and ultimately I think men can be worse than women when it comes to getting wrapped up in drama. So it's good to start this off with the answer to why men love drama queens.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  13.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 09

    Gentleman972 made a lot of sense there. I just wish he wasn't trying to put James out there like he was trying to speak for all men. I would however like to see this article flipped, though. Not necessarily flipped, since the question of "why good girls like bad boys" has been asked for decades, even made into movies and songs. I just know my profile says "No ghetto or wannabe ghetto girls". My rule of thumb is, you can't be worse than my mom as a woman. She's the standard by which I judge woman and has been my example of a woman from birth. Besides, a mother is the one responsible for a man's tender side in my opinion. Another thing, 'young buck' is a slave term. They're called 'knuckleheads' nowadays. Great post, Bro.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  14.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 10 Jun 09

    cosigning godiva and lola Peace and Blessings to you, gentleman....here's to you spawning other good guys on here..lol tatted2death

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  15.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 10 Jun 09

    To gentleman972, Very well put!!!!! You are a welcomed, and much needed breath of fresh air here.. Thank you for your honesty and your insight... Any man that will not allow himself to fall, and get trapped into the categorization of "men", or "we men" is a REAL MAN in my opinion!! The woman that capture's your heart, and your well being will be a very blessed woman, and I hope that she will always appreciate, and chersih you.. You REPRESENT very well, and if you don't mind my saying, "you are a cutie".. You got it going on!!! You are absolutely correct when you say "the attitude makes them ugly", that applies to women and men alike.. Hope you stick around..... love godiva61

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  16.   lola73 says:
    Posted: 10 Jun 09

    gentleman972...nicely written...huge kudos to you!!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  17.   gentleman972 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 09

    Maybe James likes b*tchy drama queens, but not every man does. You could flip this article and ask why do all women like thugs and bad boys? And why do nice guys get left at home? I’m sure there are some women who don’t favor thugs and bad boys. I would rather have an attractive woman, who is nice and sweet, than a supermodel with a b*tchy attitude. In my opinion, the attitude makes them ugly. “Unconsciously, men need controlling women in their lives because it breeds confidence.” You must be talking about a different kind of man. A mature man doesn’t need a woman to be confident or to stroke his ego. A mature successful man strokes his own ego with his accomplishments in life. The women just come along for the ride. Young bucks jump from conquest to conquest and seek arm candy to appeal to his buddies. Once a young buck has conquered, he will move on to the next conquest. But a mature man goes beyond conquering women to stroke his own ego. If you look at mature older men, they are not with a b*tchy drama queens. Maybe James likes chasing women in the wee hours of the night who cancel his preplanned dinners at the last minute. I will forgive you if you cancel a preplanned dinner at the last minute, due to an emergency, the first time. If you cancel at the last minute on me twice, you are automatically cut from my list. To get back on the list you have to redeem yourself. I deal with enough b*tchy drama queens at work, I don’t need one at home. So let James speak for the young bucks of the world. There are mature men out here that are looking for loving, caring, nurturing women.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • nika23 says:
      Posted: 06 Feb 12

      I wish more guys thought like you, because I agree with this article and lola73. The nice guys always chase the women who treat them like s**t and ignore the nice women. I have seen it time and time again and they complain that women are b**ches and only want their money, but the women who want a real relationship and would love them for who they are sidelined and not considered attractive. Funny thing is the bad boys or thugs or whatever you call them usually know a good woman when they see one, which is why they often end up with the good girls. The nice guys are out chasing the b**chy women and the good girls are left out and some fall prey to those bad guys who give them attention. I like affection and attention like any human being, but I'm not into bad boys and certainly not into thugs, so I have had many a years where I'm single in between relationships. I'm not super picky, but I want a good man and I won't be with any guy just to be with someone.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
    • Friendly13 says:
      Posted: 19 Feb 12

      @Gentleman972 I hear you...but, many of the men some women want tend to be the ones who still keep going back to the one who keeps him in check--B***ch Style. You are right many of us women are attracted to the so called "Bad Boy" because we think we can rescue him from his pain I must admit the "Bad ones" have my heart because they ususally lay it all out on the table upfront. Besides that he has a raw sexuality and a deep way of showing affection from his heart because of all he has been through. Face it "Bad Boys" are usually rejects from society in some way who appreciate the love from the so called "Good Girl" who is going to forgive him anyway. These are the ones that Good girls wind up with because "Bad Boys" usually don't like drama because they have just too many other issues to deal with. So I guess one way to look at it is that there is someone for everybody "Good", "Bad", or "B***chy". Hey, and tell me why is it that the Guys who appear to be "Good" always have some nasty skeleton in the closet that they don't tell you about until after they think they have you in their grip. Reality, none of us are perfect. We just have to find the one with whom we have chemestry and can tolerate being with for the rest of our lives. I must admit the "Bad ones" have my heart because they ususally lay it all out on the table upfront.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
  18.   Delphine00 says:
    Posted: 08 Jun 09

    I'm totally in agreement with lola73. Thanks for the lesson, James. Makes me wonder why I hadn't figured this out before, by myself.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  19.   lola73 says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 09

    This article explains EVERYTHING!!!!! Thanks... I thought it was my imagination. My male friends would date these really evil, nasty women and then just complain their women are bitchs!! Then why do you do date them???? And they claim they don't want drama but that's exactly what they date!And on this site, I see comments..."I don't want a drama queen" or "I don't like drama"... guess what...if you have to say it then you must like it! Thanks for the article.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment

Advice

Find your soulmate on InterracialDatingCentral

Join Free

Coaching Testimonial

"My online love inspiration angel"

Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21

To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.

I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!

I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).

She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.

She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".

Find out more

Most Popular

Your Comments

Site links