Why men cheat...again
Birds do it, bees do it and apparently 1 in 3 men do it. It's not even a shocking revelation any more. But why? Is there anything that we as women can do to prevent it? Are we destined to live our lives with cheatin' men? Not that women don't do their fair share of dirt...this just ain't about that.
The name of the book is "The Truth about Cheating...Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It" by M. Gary Neuman. He was on Oprah last month talking about this new book and the fact that it was inspired by an earlier appearance on her show. I missed that one, but heard about it. The show took place not long after 911 when there were a number of women who had been cheated on by their firefighter husbands with the widows of other firefighters. The author was there to help these wives.
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Mr. Neuman's book says that it's purpose is to help women build a solid marriage. It discusses why and how men cheat, what to do to improve your marriage, healing after the affair and my favorite parts are the statistics. It always amazes me that the numbers can be so far apart. I mean it's mentioned that anywhere between 22-70 percent of married men cheat. Hey, that's the difference between two guys playing a little one-on-one in basketball and a whole damn pro team with two sitting on the bench.
Somewhere in all this research it's been said that around 50 percent of men do it. I'm sure that it's not irony that over half of all marriages end in divorce although the number one reason is NOT because of infidelity. It's always about something else isn't it? The reason men and women cheat, the explanation of why some people find it easier to give up and give in than to try to make things work.
It's somewhat comical to me that I hear a lot of people blaming the Internet for the serge of cheaters. It's only funny because there has been research dating back as far as the early 50's that suggest that nearly one half of married men back then where cheating or had cheated on their wives too. Of course that was a long time before cyber-sex, chat rooms and web cams were even thought about. I'm sure that the creation of the Internet has made finding someone to "do your thang" with a whole lot easier, but it by no means has "made" men do it.
The reality is that these guys, whether it's 2 or 7 out of ten, they are not cheating alone. As the book points out, the days of lying to a woman about being married or unhappy in your relationship is no long required to get a woman in bed.
The other day I was having a conversation with my massage guy (who's married). He tells me this story about one of his co-workers that's been coming on to him. I ask "doesn't she know that you are married", he laughs, "yeah, but a lot of women don't care". I guess that's a whole other article.
This is Leticia, do you, could you, have you, would you? Remember the verse..."do unto others....I get it...do you?"
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78 responses to "Why men cheat...again"
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osiris says:Posted: 02 Sep 09I like the article but it really doesnt explain why men or women cheat. I believe its more mentally then anything. I find that people are not being themselves out of desperation to not be alone or to hold on to their deepest desires they wear a mask. 7 out to 10 men and women when they meet someone try to be who that person wants them to be inorder to win favor with that individual. This can last 1-2 years until the person being factitious starts to feel comfortable. Once comfortability sets in people become relax and do what is familar to them. This is the turning a point, a man who use to take the women out by her flowers to impress stops, because that is not him anyway he was wearing a mask. And the women, stop taking care of themselves, the sex slows down and the arguments start over nothing. As a man, I have been in relationships where I have been me from the begining loving caring, supportive, a provider etc. Most women are not use to that and dont know how to accept or return reciprocity. Us men need to receive what we give if not we will soon loose interest and test waters, not really wanting to live the one were with but we have to obtain some happiness where it lacks. Most men dont tell the other women that he is pursing that he is married or has a girlfriend from fear that he will be rejected. So we lie and we start a whole relationship with this new women as if we are single caring about her giving her attention for as long as we can until we either get caught or go back to or wives or girlfriends or unless the women that he is cheating with supplies his needs. I dont think cheating is inevitable for a man, I am sorry guys but at some point in our lives we will cheat. We are physical creatures with sexual needs and desires.
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kenyanito says:Posted: 28 Aug 09animals have more than one partner because of procreation..is this the same reason human beings cheat? Its a big NO..cheating is both ways but it narrows down to the causes...can we check and adress what makes us cheat..then we can solve the issue
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fkoi says:Posted: 03 Jul 09Southern Moca raises a good point. People tend not to change. Most of us like the groove (or rut) we have built for ourselves (no matter how much we complain about it). Eaters eat. Beaters beat. And cheaters cheat!! Take it to the bank.
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fkoi says:Posted: 26 Jun 09
Wait a minute. You mean men cheat? Next thing you know women are gonna start doing it too. Hey if you give your word on something then follow through, or at least let your partner know that your word isn't any good in advance. No amount of "He/she doesn't understand me." makes me less of a liar if I break my promise. I can always not agree in the first place.
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southernmoca says:Posted: 08 May 09I find that men who cheat are going to cheat despite the efforts of the women to do everything right. It comes down to immaturity and selfishness. Senator Edwards wife smiled and stood by her husband and a year later we can hear the anger in her voice even after he admitted tot he cheating. History has taught me that 9 out of 10 times, if a man cheats once he will do it again. and pleaseee do not tell me about animals being with more than one so humans are the same. Thats a load.....
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es says:Posted: 21 Feb 09
Well all of this proved to be really interesting...
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B says:Posted: 09 Feb 09
When I first felt that my husband of 7 yrs. was cheating on me, I thought it was my fault. I tried everything to make things right. I got a higher paying job so that we could have less worries about bills and could use the extra money to spend on whatever we needed to spend more time together as a couple away from the children and to use on things to spcie up our love life. But instead, he accused me of cheating and turned into a man I did not know at all. After 3 years apart he supposedly couldn't stand being without me and claimed to want me back in his life. He even paid to have me and the children move to where he was so we could be together. Yet, he continued to text/talk to other women. When I went to him in a calm way and told him that I felt disrespected and used, and wanted to know why he had me here if he didn't want our marriage to work, he told me that I was making a big deal about nothing and that I shouldn't worry about the other women because I was the one that was here physically. For you who think cheating is okay, you have no idea how much emotional damage you are doing to the other person. As for my husband, he will soon be free to do whatever he wants because I do not plan to stay in a relationship such as this.
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B says:Posted: 09 Feb 09
When I first felt that my husband of 7 yrs. was cheating on me, I thought it was my fault. I tried everything to make things right. I got a higher paying job so that we could have less worries about bills and could use the extra money to spend on whatever we needed to spend more time together as a couple away from the children and to use on things to spcie up our love life. But instead, he accused me of cheating and turned into a man I did not know at all. After 3 years apart he supposedly couldn't stand being without me and claimed to want me back in his life. He even paid to have me and the children move to where he was so we could be together. Yet, he continued to text/talk to other women. When I went to him in a calm way and told him that I felt disrespected and used, and wanted to know why he had me here if he didn't want our marriage to work, he told me that I was making a big deal about nothing and that I shouldn't worry about the other women because I was the one that was here physically. For you who think cheating is okay, you have no idea how much emotional damage you are doing to the other person. As for my husband, he will soon be free to do whatever he wants because I do not plan to stay in a relationship such as this.
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minosa says:Posted: 08 Feb 09
Just the facts . I am from an island where there are 8 women for each 1 man. In a lot of parts of South America there are 12 women for each 1 man, the list can go on. So isn't it time that we do the natural (primitive) thing of sharing a man? just take out the agendas and say Monday is for Lola, Tuesday fro Brigith, Wednesday etc. and maybe a day you swap days or skip and take two days whatever. But clearly this monogamous stuff is not working, expecially with the bunch of horny ladies lurking to snatch daddy away from his happy family. Just trying to be realistic and not live ideas that are not feasable.
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jeremiah says:Posted: 07 Feb 09I am a young guy but i can surely say a lot when it comes to men cheating on there wives this is just because the heart of a man is that of God which is not easy to satisfy a woman that will satisfy her husband and won't let him cheat on her will do a great job and this is another necessary job that stand aside from your daily work and this are few things you surely have to believe and be doing to keep your man first you have to have it on mind and believe it that your home is your life and your and your man is your home cause some women will just think what what's a man i make money from my job whats a man to me which wwon't make you do your neccessary duty you can't be perfect but here are just basic thing you have to be doing which are changing of styles of your happiness towards him your mood should never be of the same as yesterday and that of tomorrow must be different from today cause satisfying the heart of a man is no joke and don't basically base that you are so naughty on bed and you think that will stop your man from cheating on you it won't it will only make him think of practicing it with other ladies all should be done to prevent this changing your styles and your mood of happiness like a chameleon you have to study him so much know the best word you tell him that touches his heart know the best way to make him smile easily know the best meal to cook for him and your dressing mode indoor should be of different type which means only for his eyes only this things could buy the heart of a man and when i say buying the heart of a man it means stealing his heart away meaning you are doing an heart robbery duty and making it hard for him to stop thinking about you and also meaning you keep making him think you have millions of lovely things that are hiding that he still needs to know cause when a man easily detect he as reach the end of you then there won't be further happiness like before and it means the relationship will start retarding and you know what this mean he start doing what we talking about no matter how patience he is or how strong he is cause he is a man and there million of things he sees that seems marvellous to him outside and if a man cheats on you is a very simple thing to know there are just few things that i won't love to mention directly here this things will surely show up on him no matter how wise he is or how perfect he is in cheating you will know why i use perfect there is because some men are perfect cheaters even pastors do this things and your husband friend's and even his dad you do reported him to when you figure that his cheating on you are also involve in this act you just don't know it but this things am talking about will surely make a woman know if a man is cheating on her.
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Tanesha says:Posted: 02 Feb 09
I'm not one for cheating, I have more respect for myself and for whoever I'm with. The responsible thing to do is talk to your partner if you're unhappy with the way your relationship is going, that way you can work together to fix the problem. If that doesn't work, then it's probably time to walk away. Either way, the cheating issue is resolved.
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helen says:Posted: 28 Jan 09
wow.......... everybody has somethin to say about cheating. i blame women more than men because they provide opportunities for men to cheat. But can anyone cheat on someone they really love, male or female? thats if love is real in the first place
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Sweettreat2 says:Posted: 28 Jan 09I understand why men cheat because I have been the other woman more than once. I am also married and selfish. The men who have become my intimate friends, past and present, have a list of complaints that don't change. The complain that sex sucks after marriage but thier wives no longer do. No matter how she looked before marraige she always lets something go. As a wife with a family I know this is true because I am as sexy today as the day I met my spouse and he appreciates it. Worst of all is all that mouth. Men marry sweet women who find a way to compromise and end up with a demanding bitch who refuses to budge. I am the anti-wife for these men and they would trade any of thier wives to be with me if I allowed it. They see me as the perfect alternative to the drag the wife has become. A woman who is enthusiastic and sexually open and willing and looks and smells good enough to eat. I never object to this either or anything else that excites him as long as it's not painful or humiliating and IIII decide. I am a freak because it is who I chose to be. It just works out well for your husbands. Take some advice from me. If you become more like me you won't have to be as concerned about me or other women like me. As for my spouse. I am everything listed above for him plus I run the hell out of my home. He has no worries, no sexual frustration, and he knows I really don't care if he plays around a bit. I bury my head in the sand for him and will continue to do so as long as he knows his place and respects my position. You women better wake up, perform some routine maintenance(yes, shave the kitty...they love that), and become the whore in the bedroom that your man desires. He may still stray but at least you won't have yourself to blame.
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brenda1974 says:Posted: 25 Jan 09
I think people cheating, because they are trying to find fulfilment, they may not find it in the person they are with at that time. Sometimes peer pressure, they friend do it so they wants to be in the spotlight too, or it is something they seem from adolescent age, their Dad and other relative. Even thought they have a mind for themself, they think it is right cause Dad got away with it and Mom still stay with him. Again people cheat cause they think they are going to get away with it and for some it could be a fetish, the fear of getting caught, could be a turn on for that persn.
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sandra says:Posted: 24 Jan 09
I think people cheat because, people love for so many different reasons, alot of time a person is inlove with another because of what they can get. when all of that is out, then the love is over with, so they began to find love elsewhere, another reason is a lot of people is not happy with themselves, so in order to be happy they might find happiness by getting involve with different people. which is never through happiness.
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2bfabu says:Posted: 23 Jan 09Why do men cheat? Because women allow them to do so...by cheating with them or by staying in a fictitious monogamous relationship and looking the other way... A man only does what you allow him to do. This is what separates the women from the girls!
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Booteee says:Posted: 21 Jan 09i really liked the article. i am one of the women that has a cheating "other". By no means did i do anything to deserve it. What some people have to realize that you as a female can satisfy your man to the fullest, but that isn't going to keep them from cheating. I don't know exactly what it is that makes a person feel that they have to cheat. Some men can love their woman and think that she is the most beautiful person on earth, but then they can see someone that they also think is beautiful. They think the other person is beautiful in a whole entire different way...
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candyslane says:Posted: 21 Jan 09well this is my experience, i went online for dating,and met this wonderful man, well he was not truthful in the fact that he was married, we had already built up a good friendship, so i told listen i can't see you anymore because doing a married man was not what i wanted so he told his wife that he was having an affair she accepted it!!! but i still ended it, he said that he feels like he is just someone who brings home the money get's told what to do by her, and her parents and no one listens to him at all. but because i gave a listening ear and we talked a lot and i paid some attention to him that'ts what drew him even closer to me. he was like my best freind but i did'nt wanna partake in that when i knew that wise old saying someone always gets left out and it's always the other women.
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Valeygirl15 says:Posted: 17 Jan 09
People cheat beacause they are gamblers and willing to risk something with longevity for something temporary. Lust leads us in different directions and only GOD can change ones heart. The faithful man stands tall with integrity. The cheater is weak and full of nothing.
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MICHAEL says:Posted: 09 Jan 09MEN CHEAT BECAUSE THE WORLD IS NOT BUILT FOR US TO BE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE WOMAN. i KNOW WE ARE "SUPPOSED TO BE CIVILIZED" BUT WOMEN OUTNUMBER US LIKE 4 TO 1. WOMEN NEED AFFECTION TOO. IF WE WERE ALL FAITHFUL 3,000,000,000 WOMEN WOULD EITHER TO BECOME LESBAINS OR GO WITHOUT. IF A WOMAN READS THIS SHE WON'T WANT TO HEAR IT BUT MAYBE WOMEN SHOULD LEARN TO SHARE.
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Yira says:Posted: 07 Jan 09
"Real men dont live by a woman's law?!" But what... real men cheat?! WTF is that?! I'm sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding, but that's how I take that comment that "Mrrealman" made. And I wasnt even thinking of posting my own comment until I saw his. I can see how Christian believes have conditioned humans into thinking that "one man and one woman together for ever" is the way it's supposed to be. However, some of the more godly and religious men (chosen by god) of the bible had many women; King David, Abraham. Its been acceptable for men to have many women because men have been the (physically) strongest of the specie so they've been able to make up the rules. It was ok for Abraham to have 4 wives, but if any of his women (or any of Kind David's many women) had more than one man, they would've be considered a whore... and probably stoned to death. I'm not much of a believer of religion, I do believe that we, as part of the animal kingdom, are animals, and most animals, like lions and deer, have many females. That however, is natures way of controlling and preserving the population, the specie, and making sure that the strongest and healthiest male is producing strong, healthy offsprings, not a bunch of weaklings- for survival. We as humans, are already over-populated and with this over-population has come many problems in my opinion; hunger, illnesses, diseases, wars, environmental problems,other species going extinct, etc... We are animals too, but unlike other animals, we have the capacity to act and react with the ability to think and rationalize first (about the consequences for our actions), not merely by instinct. Which means that women AND men should think of the consequences to the relationship and the effects to those who love you the most, if you sleep with someone else without your partner's consent. If both persons in the relationship agree to a non-monogamous relationship and are perfectly ok, than AMEN and more power to you, but if you're both in a "committed" relationship with each other, than both partners should be respecting the boundaries of that relationship. Unlike other animals, we also have the ability to communicate with each other and talk things out. If one partner is missing something from the relationship; more affection, more communication, more romance, more sex, more kinkiness, or whatever, then they should be able and willing to talk about that to help the relationship. I think like people, relationships are always changing, and we as humans need to constantly work on our relationships to make them better and stronger. It's a give and take, it should be 50/50 at all times. This, (most)men need to get through their heads. Like someone's comment pointed out, if women now a days are not just raising the children, but in charge of the housework, working, paying bills, doing the groceries, or going to school- and everything in between, then they may very well be pretty exhausted and overwhelmed at the end of the day (not to mention resentful) of everything they've had to do, to also have sex. Just FYI- most women may see sex as yet one more thing to do to satisfy someone else, not herself. Like Maslow's hierarchy of needs explains, humans will want to take care of their basic needs first before taking care of any other: breathing, food, water, sleep, and yes, SEX! But an exhausted person will want to take care of the need for rest before the need for sex. Just like any person will choose first to breath to stay alive before taking care of their need to eat. On the other hand, there are men who are very helpful in their relationship with their partner and get very little in return to satisfy their manly needs. I've known of women who care very little about their appearance or of the importance to do their share to spice things up in the relationship and in the bedroom, or maybe even more emotionally distant than their male counterpart. I believe its important for a woman to keep herself attractive, feminine, and sexy because, like MRREALMAN said, a man will be constantly exposed to a sexy, attractive woman while out and about. It might make him feel good to know he has one at home that's all his. Trying new things in the bedroom to spice things up, dressing up, playing roles and scenarios are things every woman should be willing to do to keep things interesting. And it shouldn't be done just for "HIM," but for yourself as a woman too, because its sexy and hot damn it. I can go on and on, but I'll get off my soap box now. I believe, ultimately what it comes down to, is having consideration, openess, communication, and respect for each other as partners to avoid the cheating. If one person isn't willing to give all these 50/50, then the other person needs to realize this and move on. And if the people in the relationship have different points of view about what "committment" means then they need to find someone more compatible with their thoughts and belives.
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Sherri says:Posted: 04 Jan 09
Cheating is a choice, you do it or you dont. Every man or women at some point in their relationship think about it, flirt with it and in the end make a choice to do it or not. Once you have crossed the line there is no going back. The next time just gets easier and easier until you dont even feel guilt anymore. Men can do it and not feel attached but women emotionally are more affected. I have cheated and been cheated on, not a good feeling but in the end how will I actually know? So have decided if hes going to do it just glove it up dont bring home anything funky cause then the shit will hit the fan.
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Marty says:Posted: 03 Jan 09Men and women cheat because that is a character flaw. Its a character flaw that if known/shows itself I stay away from. Sometimes you will be able to avoid the headache by having someone you respect vouch for this woman or man. This is not foolproof, but you do limit the odds.
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lbrown says:Posted: 02 Jan 09monogamy is a learned behavior, by men. also find out what type of woman your guys likes and either introduce him to her or try to become her. I like slender women and want my woman to stay slender.
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timidcharm says:Posted: 02 Jan 09Cheating is a breach of trust and not confined to gender.
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MsCoucette says:Posted: 02 Jan 09
I'm not so sure that more men cheat than women, but perhaps men are more honest in these "surveys." I'm sure many men will agree that there were times they couldn't get the attention of a woman for anything... until they were with another woman. Why does it seem that a man in a relationship is more desirable to a woman than an available man? Then, why would he act on the attention at all? We are torn between our natural desire to "mate" with whomever is available and our more conservative need to be loved and grow old together. unfortunately, many people lack the strength, tenaticy, and courage to enter into and remain in monogamous relationships. Learning to communicate, and specifically, developing the art of LISTENING is key to any healthy relationship. We should not look for someone to "complete" us either. Complete youself, and seek someone to compliment who you are!
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honeybee324 says:Posted: 02 Jan 09I don't think monogamy is "natural", but a result of social and economic conditioning. Marriage exists partly to protect women and offspring from abuse and neglect. Personally, I believe that when we can see love and sex as two completely different functions, it will be easier to take it less personal that someone might desire another person. I find it strange that we can have multiple friends for our habits and hobbies, but only one person with which to be sexual with, as though we are the be all, end all in the bedroom. This does not mean that I agree with cheating behavior. Cheating is lying and that is not acceptable. If people were honest and upfront in the beginning about what they wanted, they just might be surprised with how much their partner will allow.
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Maridoe says:Posted: 31 Dec 08
When these men cheat on their wives are we expecting them to tell us the real reason? They cheat because they can and it's "fun" to hook-up with some strange. I'm just reporting the information I've been given. The new person won't know his history and he okay or she is able to pretend they are someone brand new and in the moment.
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Anonymous14u says:Posted: 31 Dec 08KJ, How about staying young. Women between 19 and 35 have some of the tightest bodies and are usually wrinkle and flab free. Sorry but that's why every man who divorced their wives traded them in for a newer, tighter and sexier model.
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Anonymous14u says:Posted: 31 Dec 08
Most men who cheat have a high sexual appetite for women who they find attractive. A man like this will have sex with any attractive woman if given the opportunity. If you have a man like this, there is nothing you can do to prevent him from cheating on you. Men like this also have a short attention span and no matter how good you look or faithful you are you will still get cheated on... its like a desease, they cant help themselves. Also, most women are often attracted to men like this (the "bad boy") because they are very confident and aggressive, and a woman will blame everyone else for his behavior and remain in denial because she cant resist his sexiness, swagger and style. Women make the mistake of wanting the trap him and make him theirs but this is an excercise in futility. The bad boy can never be tamed! Best advice: Settle for "Good Guy" and even sometimes they cheat too, but its probably a safer choice.
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KJ says:Posted: 29 Dec 08First off, I am not a cheater, and I don't necessarily agree with men (or women, for that matter) who cheat. If you feel the need to cheat, your relationship is already over and it's time to dissolve it (break-up or divorce). So, the best reason I have ever heard for why men cheat came from radio talk show host, Tom Leykis. He offered that there are three simple rules women can follow to KEEP her man's eyes (and other parts) on her. Those rules were: 1) Stay thin, 2) Long hair, and 3) Shut up. Tom is a little blunt, so I'll break down my interpretation of what he was REALLY saying. Stay thin: This one goes without saying. Men are very physical; always have been, always will be. He married you partly because he was attracted to your physical appearance/body style at that time. If you're thin, he likes thin women - so stay thin. If you're chubby, then he likes that - so stay chubby. Otherwise, women who look like what he likes will catch his eyes. I have never understood why women think it okay to gain excess weight once they are married... Common sense should tell them that is not cool. Next, long hair: While myself - and I think a majority of men – do actually prefer long hair, I interpreted this as don't let yourself go in the face/head area either. You're competing with younger, long-haired, clean skinned women as you age. The body is one thing, but men are also attracted to a pretty face. Women will say, "well, short hair is easier to manage". Okay, well that's a trade off! So is smoking... Few men want to be staring into "smoker-face" while you're at it. Tanning is also horrible for your skin! Excess make-up/chemicals can't be too healthy either. Women do horrible things to their face and hair... Just remember, you're competing for his attention with the twenty-something new hires at his office. Lastly, he says to shut up. So this doesn't mean literally don't speak - ever. His advice here is just don't nag the man’s ear off. One of the easiest ways to push a man away is to nag at us. If you have a demand or a request, present it once - and not sooner than an hour after we've gotten home. "Okay" means the request is logged in our mental task folder with your other 500 demands, and we will get to it when we get to it. "Take out the trash!", well that's low-priority. I'll do that when I'm leaving the morning of trash day. When you cross over into nagging, then yeah you're going to push your man into the bed of a woman who doesn't. Men hate nagging! So yeah… Anyway, being a man, I have met/been friends with men who have cheated or who cheat compulsively. The main reason I have heard is basically being denied sex by their girlfriend/wife. I hear a lot of men say that at first when they enter a relationship/marriage with a woman, the quantity and quality of sex is perfect; however, that diminishes exponentially with the duration of that particular union. Some guys have told me that their women start using sex as a "bargaining tool" (I'm not f---ing you again until you do this or that), and then when it does happen, it is blah - at best! I'm not sure what part of this women have not managed to grasp in the past couple of centuries, but men enjoy frequent sex - preferably with an attractive woman. And that leads to the other reason I hear most often, girlfriends/wives do not keep-up their appearances.
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homesteader says:Posted: 22 Dec 08
I see prejudice in your thoughts { sexual } as it takes both a man and a woman to cheat , cheating would be difficult with just one person involved . Women cheat when they have sexual affairs with married men , because some of them are married also and if they know a man is married they are cheating on his wife also . I believe it should be a shared Blame . homesteader
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MrRealMan says:Posted: 21 Dec 08
If women put down the law, they'll most likely find themselves by themselves. Real men don't live by a woman's law... {just though I'll let you know}.
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diva says:Posted: 19 Dec 08
men cheat because they can but i do not put up with i tell men straight up so they can leave with out getting what they deserve .If women put down the law there would be less cheating.
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DVince says:Posted: 18 Dec 08
We was brought up years ago that a man meets a woman, gets married, start a family & live happily ever after. That was back in the 50's when the world was less complex. As the decades progressed, the genesis of women's lib, sexual revolution, expansion of the porn industy, AIDS etc has changed the dynamics of relationships & marriage. Monagamy has been a eroding component in today's society. Males & females are sexually evolving more than ever before & its has become difficult for couples to stay together. Bottom line, people stray because they want something different that their partner does not do & love the "thrill of the chase". It is not a crime to be tempted. It is a sin to give in.
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kenyanito says:Posted: 17 Dec 08
I agree with you Katherine that life is all about choices.. Cheating is inevitable where committment is based on lies...you can't have both ways and survive one is bound to fail..and i'd rather be left free to go than have a cheating partner
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onlyotter says:Posted: 16 Dec 08
I feel sorry for men after a conversation I've had with one. Seems as though their mind gives them mental images all day. My friend said he could be working on a major project at work with all men, noone saying to one another and a mental image of a woman he saw about a year ago will just pop up in his mind for no reason. He said it happens to them all day, everyday to boot. Now, if your mind is geared to do this naturally, how do you fight off advertisements, the hoochie walking down the street, or the office tramp from commanding your imagination? It must be a very strong man (or woman) who can resist temptation. Now the question is not what can a woman do to stop it, the question is how can a man build himself up enough mentally that he doesn't do it at all.
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Katherine says:Posted: 16 Dec 08
Life is about choice. When two people make a commitment to each other, then both should hold up their end of the bargain. If there is something keeping the individual unhappy it needs to be addressed. If you don't want your partner or are confused, set them free!
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Jabali says:Posted: 06 Dec 08
"Blind men don't cheat!" Lol @ MRREALMAN. That has to be the best one I've heard all week...;-)But I think I see where you are going with your comment and that is all the general views that people have developed over the years i.e. men cheat women don't cheat, men are visual, women are not is all a bucnh of bull....! I totally agree.
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MrRealMan says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
(Part2 - Men's guilty role.) Men cheat because women are irresistible and men are weak. Men are very visual and women are very pleasing to the eye. Blind men don't cheat. A woman's beauty can be a blessing, but at the same time it can be a curse. It's beauty that attracted him to her, but it's also beauty that attracted him to the other woman. Men cheating is nothing new. It has alway been and it will go on until the last day. Even good pussy doesn't stop men from cheating. It can slow a man down, but curiosity and lust for the other woman is stronger. But truth be told, not all men cheat. There are still a few good men out there... somewhere. For all the women who have a man who doesn't cheat, good for you. For the rest of you women looking for the cure - good luck. Love Peace & Happiness. Ya boy
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MrRealMan says:Posted: 03 Dec 08
(Part1- Women's guilty role.) LUST is the reason why man cheat. After all, we do live in a VERY lustful world. It's hard for a man to stay focus on one woman when there are so many sexually apealling women out there. Women don't make it any easier for a man either. It's very fashionable in our society for women to dress whorish; with their tight little pants and short skirts. Women are too blind to see their guilty role in all this. I'm not [completely] blaming women, but they do play a part in the lustfulness in our society. You can't dress whorish and expect there not to be any backlash. Muslim women are sometimes criticized for their dress code, but any respectable woman should cover her body and leave her private parts, private. No need to flunt your body around for the wholeworld to see. Then you wonder why men cheat. Why do you women dress sexy anyway? All it does is make you more attractive and apealling for men to want to persue you and sex you. So ladies, the next time you think about putting on a short skirt, or having your thong showing in the back, think about how you are potentially contributing to a man cheating.
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MRLEES says:Posted: 02 Dec 08Lovers can avoid "cheating" by not lying, no bragging, no questionings of the 3rd degree,Don't be selfish, Keep good manners, Be descret and listen twice as much as you talk, Never raise your voice as a weapon and not only should you remember her birthday, But that of her Mom's as well. Inter-act with her family. Be generious and fair with her. Please bathe regularly, Keep up your hygene and appearences as it won't be so noticable when you go on your outtings. Starting dating your wife, She still likes McDonald's, little love notes, ice cream and music. Keep up your FICO score. Run the wash and fold it on the sofa in front of the TV, She'll start putting it away before you finish folding. If you run her some bath water you'll get an offer but don't use it tonight, Just lotion her back and brush your teeth. Get a sting mope with a wringer-bucket and get behind her when she sweeps, Not all the time but do help her just a little bit everyday. Clean the shower and tub and make some happy noise to draw her attention to your deeds, Let her see you sit down and piss. Make a big production out of ridding junk mail from from the living quarters. Ask her if she needs "any" of it. Put a $1.00 candy bar and single flower on her side of the bed, Say something nice and encouraging when she feeling down. Make her laugh just before you leave on your mission, And make a date to do an unpleasant household chore with her in the nude. Promise her that you'll be back! Call her and tell her about the $5.00 earrings you left under her pillow, But tell her she can't look until her bedtime and you'll see her later. Call her Dad and thank him for having her and giving her to you, Threat these calls like business calls, direct and to the point. You can do this while driving. Do go home and give her some form of pleasure that does not envolve your sexual pleasure as you have had yours already anyway. Send your lover away and alone, And you keep the kids, Give the kids off to the Grands or other trusted ones, Go get some honey from your wife you sent on retreat. But you should make the resevations. Wine, flowers and note in room at check-in a must. Learn to cook if you don't know how, bang your teacher, Learn to pot plants, bang the Horticoltrist, Learn to dance and have some great sex while at it. Buy your wife a new CD. Dance naked with her and have better sex. If you change your ways and treat your wife and or lover special, You could stand behined and fuck a Rhino on the front lawn and she'd gladly hold it's head for you. The only reason people cheat is because they are unwilling to do the things that make cheating ok with the cheatee. AND,,, Remember your manners, One good deed deserves another, Because she to gets bored with the same old thing and likes a little bit on the side from time to time too. Your Lady should not be spoiled, But she should be well taken care of. Don't do her girl friends or her family members. Her girl friend's girl friends is quite plentiful. Don't mess with the Pastor's family, The Ushers and Chiore is enough, Leave the nieghbor's wife alone, His and her sisters will do nicly, Not to mention their daughters of proper age. If you must do some cheating to make your life great,,, Do it with some honor and grace. If you are forced to lie, Then man up and stick to your lie, Don't ever waver as this will not do anyone any good at all. You might be tempted to tell the truth, She might say to you,,, "If you just tell the truth,,, It'll be alright,,, Just tell the truth" Remember!!! K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid)" and stick to your original simple lie with nothing extra added. If the subject is constantly brought up and unresolved after two descussion,,, Don't raise your voice when it resurfaces and say,,, I'm through trying to convience you and don't ever in life speak on this matter under any circumstances. Say nice weather we're having lately and nothing more and don't change your attitude or your ways, If you're been doing her feet keep doing her feet, You should "Keep Sweet" and don't fuss and don't try to defend yourself, Just "Keep Sweet" Run the bath even if she don't use it, Wash and fold the clothes, Get a bucket and mop, Don't change your game, She curses you, You show her more love and watch you manners. Give her more eartime, Let her babble and vent. When she sick and tired of being sick and tired she'll give in to you, You and her will have a very very passionate love session and and afterwards she'll make one last attempt to get the truth out of you and you'll even start to feel closer to her, You'll feel weak and helpless, By now even you are thinking "It'll be alright if I just told the truth." This is really the time to man up! Stick to your lie! It's a good thing you K.i.S.S-ed, Becaused you can't remembered back that far and no sense in having to auger a point with a breathing lie detector. Don't get brave and agressive and loud, Keep Sweet kiss her goodnite and check go into the hotel and call a lover for some hotter sex and skip work tomorrow. When she ask your reason for you not being at work, Don't say a word take her to the mirro and point. Eat your dinner with yes and no conversation, Don't find fault and blame for last night, Don't even talk about today's missed work. She is about you making your paper and isn't going to do nothing to mess that up again soon, don't allow her to seduce you to night, But do keep Sweet, Besides you need your rest. Don't feed into an agument, Calm yourself and don't raise your "Man Voice" A battle of words is something you can never win. If you have to put some clothes in a bag and sit it on the floor. Don't say a word, just put it there! You should bathe and go to bed. The bag is for the car only. Leave it in there for psychological advantage. Let her see you take it out in the morning, But don't threaten anything, Go to work come home as always, Put a few more things in another bag to be left at work. Do Take a suit with dress shoes and make no threats. Keep Sweet. Keep doing everthing as always, Say nice stuff and say it with meaning not meaness. Now she has your support and Love and you have clothes and shoes where you need them and this bothers her to the core of her being. Don't you dare start feeling powerful. That's the reason you've been grooming her Mom And Dad, Let them be your power after all they raised her and want her happy and can put a stop to it PDQ and while they spend time with her,You can spend time with her friend's friend. Don't never raise "even" your voice, Govern yourself accordingly, Talk with her but never never never fight her with words, She's a bonafide litigator by natural design. Keep Sweet and she'll tell her friends who'll tell their friends before you meet them. When you see her friend's friend skinning their teeth you'll know the deal, So say something sweet when you greet and say something nice to your wife's lady friend. Don't get fresh with either woman, Just smile and wink, Make sure your lady's friend not see your flirting. Absent mindedly leave a small stack of your business cards behind and the women will do the rest for you. Hands off the first friend no matter what though, This woman is your ally but she don't know it yet. Be charming and have some current topic of woman consern or invent one ask their openions on the matter, LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN with both ears, They will be very anxious to hear your spin on things after they have firmly stated their veiwpoints. Don't tell them anything today. Excuse yourself and tell them you're sorry for starting something you can't possibly finish today. Exit in a rush as you give the excuse of having something to do for your wife and her Mom as you leave in a great haste. Go see what they need,They will be quized and you'll look so darn good when friend calls your lady and turns arourd and tell her friend the news. Don't be suprised when you only get back eight of ten cards. When you do get the cards back say something flattering about your allie's friend. If you must "cheat" Keep Sweet.
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MRLEES says:Posted: 02 Dec 08
Lovers can avoid "cheating" by not lying, no bragging, no questions of the 3rd degree, don't be selfish, Keep good manners, Be descret and listen more than you talk and when you talk, Never raise your voice as a weapon and not only should you remember her birthday, But that of her Mom's as well. Inter-act with her family. Be generious and fair with her. Please bathe and keep up your hygene and appearances up. Starting dating your wife, She still likes McDonald's, little love notes ice cream and music. Keep up your FICO score. Run the wash and fold it on the sofa in front of the TV, She'll put it away. Get a sting mope with a wringer-bucket and get behind her when she sweeps. Clean the shower and tub, Let her see you sit and piss, Make a big production out of ridding junk mail from from the living quarters, Put a $1.00 candy bar and single flower on her side of the bed, Say something nice and encouraging when she feeling down, Make her laugh just before you leave on your mission, Promise her that you'll be back! Call her and tell her about the $5.00 earrings you left under her pillow, Then tell her you'll see her after awhile. Call her dad and thank him for having her, and giving her to you, Threat these calls like business calls, direct and to the point. You can do this while driving. Send your lover away and alone, And you keep the kids, give the kids off to the grands or other trusted ones, Go get some honey from your wife. Learn to cook if you don't know how, Bang your teacher, Learn to pot plant, bang the instructor, Learn to dance and have some great sex while at it. Buy your wife a new CD. Dance naked with her and have better sex. If you change your ways and treat your wife special your could fuck a Rhino on the front lawn and she'll gladly hold it's head for you. The only reason people cheat is because they are unwilling to do the things that make cheating ok with the cheatee. AND,,, Remember your manners, One good deed deserves another, Because she to bets bored and likes a little bit on the side from time to time.
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jpro says:Posted: 02 Dec 08
This one is tried and proven. Cheating is not gender specific and when women get real about the issue the direction that we all need take will make a positive turn....women cheat as well and there are probably more women cheating than men if the given numbes out here are near correct... For what ever reason many women live outside of reality when it comes to female issues of accountability and cheating and promiscuity lead the way.
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whurr says:Posted: 01 Dec 08I'm taking notes....nothing worse then gettign involved with an angry woman who uses phrases like 'all men cheat' and 'my man cheated in last relationship'. My pen is running out of ink. Women NEVER cheat....that should be next article. 'Why Women NEVER Cheat' Women will make it clear when they been cheated on. They will analyze it. Dudes are not going to come forward and admit to it. Its such a loaded question for any research. Its like asking people 'Are you great in the sack?'
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