If anything, I’ve encountered more stereotypes dating within my own race (I’m white) than with other races. A series of bleach-blonde California princesses soured me on being single for a while. We had the same kind of conversations about the same sorts of things. It just seemed like they all had the same basic attitudes, priorities and preferences. Don’t get me wrong, most of them weren’t bad people, but their perspectives were pretty familiar to me. It got a little boring, quite frankly.
I started interracial dating by accident. It’s not like I said “No more white girls!” or anything… My search parameters were always pretty inclusive, but I began to look closer at singles open to interracial dating. That’s how I met Samantha (not her real name). We traded a bunch of emails before meeting in person and our first date was wandering an art museum. From the start, I found it refreshing how her experiences, interests and tastes were a little different. Samantha was born here, went to the same public schools and had worked the same kinds of jobs as those other girls, but there was a distinct difference I really appreciated. Her perceptions of the world came from a different cultural experience, creating interesting contradictions. For example, she went to church a couple Sundays a month, but she was very liberal in her politics. She was a Vegan, but she made this awesome roasted sweet potato puree with coconut milk. Samantha ended up moving away to take care of her elderly grandmother, who had raised her, but we had a great time over several dates and stay in touch.
After that, my next interracial success story was Grace. She had immigrated from Seoul only six years before so her English was only about 90% there, but I could tell from even her somewhat halting IMs that she was very bright. A grad student getting her masters in biology, Grace had a lot of interesting stories about going out with the fishermen on the Korean coast. She introduced me to some amazing Asian cinema on bootleg DVDs that didn’t get any U.S. release. Grace was obsessed with learning to surf and Mexican food. We had many really interesting conversations over burritos with various mole sauces. She had interesting views on how the U.S. is perceived abroad, the different ways students approach their education, and evolving gender roles.
After these experiences, I decided I was going to have to keep exploring this interracial dating thing—it seemed more likely I’d find my future wife on this path. That led me to niche sites like AfroRomance and Interracialdatingcentral.com, where everyone is open to relationships across ethnic lines. It’s working out very well so far!
In general I’m attracted to curious, thoughtful people, whatever their race, but dating interracially tends to introduce more new experiences into my life. I love discovering little-known, authentic restaurants, for example. When it comes to live music, world music is more my scene than classic rock covers and I’ve caught some great reggae and Middle Eastern performers I never would have known about.
Good conversation is also a priority for me. A non-native English speaker often chooses their words more carefully and uses different words to express something. They tend to rely less on the obvious choices and familiar slang. And frankly, I appreciate hearing how people who aren’t white men view the issues of our times.
Human civilization has taken so many different paths around the world that when different cultures and traditions come together, that fusion is bound to be interesting. Exploring our differences and commonalities is exciting and, very often, sexy. There’s something really hot about mystery and the exotic—we provide that for each other when we date someone who isn’t just like the people we grew up with. The obstacles you have to overcome are just part of the romantic adventure!