Why I Love Interracial Dating

Posted by Book_smart, 12 Apr 12

If anything, I’ve encountered more stereotypes dating within my own race (I’m white) than with other races. A series of bleach-blonde California princesses soured me on being single for a while. We had the same kind of conversations about the same sorts of things. It just seemed like they all had the same basic attitudes, priorities and preferences. Don’t get me wrong, most of them weren’t bad people, but their perspectives were pretty familiar to me. It got a little boring, quite frankly.

I started interracial dating by accident. It’s not like I said “No more white girls!” or anything... My search parameters were always pretty inclusive, but I began to look closer at singles open to interracial dating. That’s how I met Samantha (not her real name). We traded a bunch of emails before meeting in person and our first date was wandering an art museum. From the start, I found it refreshing how her experiences, interests and tastes were a little different. Samantha was born here, went to the same public schools and had worked the same kinds of jobs as those other girls, but there was a distinct difference I really appreciated. Her perceptions of the world came from a different cultural experience, creating interesting contradictions. For example, she went to church a couple Sundays a month, but she was very liberal in her politics. She was a Vegan, but she made this awesome roasted sweet potato puree with coconut milk. Samantha ended up moving away to take care of her elderly grandmother, who had raised her, but we had a great time over several dates and stay in touch.

After that, my next interracial success story was Grace. She had immigrated from Seoul only six years before so her English was only about 90% there, but I could tell from even her somewhat halting IMs that she was very bright. A grad student getting her masters in biology, Grace had a lot of interesting stories about going out with the fishermen on the Korean coast. She introduced me to some amazing Asian cinema on bootleg DVDs that didn’t get any U.S. release. Grace was obsessed with learning to surf and Mexican food. We had many really interesting conversations over burritos with various mole sauces. She had interesting views on how the U.S. is perceived abroad, the different ways students approach their education, and evolving gender roles.

After these experiences, I decided I was going to have to keep exploring this interracial dating thing—it seemed more likely I’d find my future wife on this path. That led me to niche sites like AfroRomance and Interracialdatingcentral.com, where everyone is open to relationships across ethnic lines. It’s working out very well so far!

In general I’m attracted to curious, thoughtful people, whatever their race, but dating interracially tends to introduce more new experiences into my life. I love discovering little-known, authentic restaurants, for example. When it comes to live music, world music is more my scene than classic rock covers and I’ve caught some great reggae and Middle Eastern performers I never would have known about.

Good conversation is also a priority for me. A non-native English speaker often chooses their words more carefully and uses different words to express something. They tend to rely less on the obvious choices and familiar slang. And frankly, I appreciate hearing how people who aren’t white men view the issues of our times.

Human civilization has taken so many different paths around the world that when different cultures and traditions come together, that fusion is bound to be interesting. Exploring our differences and commonalities is exciting and, very often, sexy. There’s something really hot about mystery and the exotic—we provide that for each other when we date someone who isn’t just like the people we grew up with. The obstacles you have to overcome are just part of the romantic adventure!

6 responses to "Why I Love Interracial Dating"

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  1. Posted: 28 May 13

    You can learn from each other in different ways. I was married to a white man and we both like music. He enjoys classical and that's what I studied, but I am also into rap, r&b, pop, soul, disco, oldies and rock. I taught him about who 50 cent is, Kanye West, Alicia Keys and others. He got me listening to jazz and watching old movies. And with me it was also about the hair thing. He has seen my hair in so many different styles and I to use to worry about the beach and the pool so he didn't pressure me into going in the water. Instead we just took a walk on the beach.

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  2. Posted: 03 Aug 12

    I like interracial dating for several reasons. Mainly for the fact that I believe we can compliment each other in the most simple yet exotic ways.I appreciate the way curiosity constantly keeps things interesting by always wanting to learn about each others similarities as well as our differences. I love the way our skin tones blend to compliment each other like the two colors of an oreo cookie :-P One of the most delicate situations for me is my hair. Anyone of another race that is going to be a part of my life romantically, is going to have to understand that my hair takes time to prepare. Yes, it has thousands of tiny curls so it looks extremely kinky. So going to the beach or a swimming pool is not always the easiest thing for us to deal with as black women with natural kinky hair. I love the beach and the pool, but as long as my guy won't get embarrassed by seeing his lady with a huge Afro when she steps out of the water, then we are in business. I need for him to embrace every inch of my body from the top of my head to the soul of my feet. Once I understand where he stands on understanding and appreciating who i truly am (both inside and out), then I'll know where we both stand :)

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  3.   niomimonroe says:
    Posted: 02 May 12

    Right on! Dating outside my race has definitely introduced me to new experiences. Different upbringing and ways of life. My ex helped open my eyes to new music, food, and people. I love that being in an interracial relationships is an adventure in itself. I can't wait until I meet someone new. ^_^

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  4.   shydude74 says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 12

    because it shows cultures can get along and co exist. it can be exciting and fun as well.

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  5.   Copper23 says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 12

    That was a very insighful and interesting article, well done Book_Smart :)

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  6.   vloyal88 says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 12

    I most certainly agree with you, interracial dating is beautiful and exotic. People tend to fear what is unfamiliar to them which is why, they form obstacles for those who are willing to be diffrent and step outside the box to entice themselves with something New.

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