An Asian woman and her Caucasian fiance are walking toward a French restaurant when a dude blurts out “Chink lover”!. Much as the insult was directed at her fiance, she gets so offended that she starts yelling after the dude calling him lonely and a loser.
A few months later, on a trip to Thailand with her fiance, this same woman engages in some ‘harmless’ fun in a game of spotting what they dubbed “‘odd couples’: tall, gangly foreigners with tiny Thai women.” Privately, she refrained from calling it “exploitation” to “she’s doing what she needs to survive, and he’s finding comfort the only way he can.” She was doing the same judging most people do whenever they see an interracial couple walk by.
“In public, I spoke loudly in English and wore my Tevas and other backpacking garb in an attempt to appear American and not as someone’s paid consort,” she says. But even in Thailand, she was “… lumped together with the prostitutes and the girlfriends who came with a fee. Maybe that’s what bothered me so much about the jerk on the street — his implication that all Asian women were somehow lower than white men. That only women with desperate financial need and lonely men would cross the color line,” she adds.
She finishes off by saying she doesn’t want to be grouped with other people who look like her.
Someone please explain this: Why is this bothering her when she was also privately prejudicial against the ‘odd couples’ in Thailand? If she assumed every tiny Thai woman with a tall foreigner was a prostitute, why does she expect other people to treat her any different?
Try a Lifetime of Discrimination / Being Disabled
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lagbaja61, if you read my comments I stated that I emphaize with ALL men & that your views might resonate with many men for different & oppossing reasons!
The story that you tell is very familiar & told by men & women from various marginalised groups within societies! Discrimination does suck & you and millions of others are feeling it! I do not need to walk in your shoes because I don’t expect anyone to walk in mine! I’m just getting on with it!
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lagbaja61 discrimination hurts everyone and the threat is always there. I learned a few years back that a threat only has power over you if you’re vulnerable to that threat.
The color of my skin, where I live, my income and a few other factors may make me a target for those who’d choose to discriminate against me but only my ignorance can make me vulnerable.
If you or other white males feel that power is being taking away from you, then you had no power from the start.
Self-empowerment comes from within, not from what another man or society was given you. If some man giving you a paycheck every two weeks, allowing you to live here or there, or attend this or that university gives you your sense of power, the minute he takes those things away from you, there goes your sense of power.
I use the term “sense of power” because it was not really power in the first place, it was privilege.
PRIVILEGES are given and they’re taken away but SELF-EMPOWERMENT, no man or system can give you or take from you.
I cant speak on the sistuation in England, I don’t live there but in America, white males for at least 400 years have been the ones with the power and now some feel that it’s being taking from them.
Power is one of those things that only has effect to the degree that people are willing to yield or submit to it!
Women and non-whites are finding ways to em-power themselves and use the influence that comes with that power to gain advantage for themselves and secure a future where they can have control over what goes on and not leave that in the hands of a select few.
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Don’t know about the British Isles / We all still use toilet paper over here .
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Oh forgot / Some have Bidets
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lagbaja61 ; It is about a two mile walk to our local post office [ we have no rural delivery ] / I will be seen placing one foot in front of the other – a couple times a week [ I wear Redwing steel toe boots in order to kick the rattlesnakes in the grass ] , with a plastic bucket in hand picking up discarded aluminum cans and Packrat items . You would be surprised the tools , lincense plates , mudflaps , money and Zippo lighters that have been runover that lie beside the highway . All the time [ carry fresh bottled water ] , I just thought it was good exercise to walk a four mile round trip a few times a week . We live so far in the woods that God sends Hurricanes every few years to clean the old and dead trees , Hehe . People are All the same / Believe it or Knot . Being Born Naked .
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For crushed Zippos , send them to Bradford , PA and they will repair or send you a new one / these make excellent X-mas presents for friends who smoke and they are free for the picking .
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to NOPLAYER, I agree 100&. And I also know that any white male that makes a statement like Brian did (which lagbaja61 wholeheartedly agreed to) when he said “everything in society today is geared to take away white male power in all forms”..well, that can only be seen as a paranoid racist statement. Unfortunately, many white men are upset that affirmative action programs are trying to change 400 years of racial injustice and so they want to abolish even the small progress that has been made. Even worse, some of those same white men date interracially and come onto sites like this one.
And to “homesteader”, I know u enjoy writing rambling, off topic, sometimes incoherent comments all over these blogs, but can u please limit them to maybe just one a day? Because some people might not enjoy seeing email notices about new comments to this blog, and then having to say “oh, it’s THAT guy again”. I know I speak for the majority of us when I say that. Thank u for your attention to this matter.
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I think it’s called “kama”. Talk about hypocrisy.
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@lagbaja61 excuse me if I cannot sympathize with you as I see men of European descent around me every day holding positions of authority which they do not have the formal educational qualifications for, while women and ethnic minorities who have Bachelor’s and even Master’s degrees and much experience are not even remotely considered for promotion. I work in a professional a technical environment and I have been shocked as I discover some of my ‘white’ male peers are just now in the process of working on initial formal professional qualifications and degrees, and have been actively holding positions which I just cannot fathom how they would have come into without the appropriate educational qualifications other than having being given the ‘good old boys’ network nod.
So I am sorry, that as all people begin to demand fair and equitable treatment and are working hard to be educated and prepared to take on key positions and work functions that it is posing a challenge for some who feel entitled.
And many ethnic minorities can tell you that many of the ‘programs’ of which you speak are good PR propaganda to soothe some consciences and obviously serve as handy tools for such references as you have made here in this blog, but what are the stats on the accessibility, usefulness, or effectiveness of any of these ‘programs’ which you appear convinced are here to coddle ethnic minorities while you are out in the cold.
I have never asked anyone for any favors. I’ll stand toe to toe with you. Bring it! I paid for my Bachelors degree on my own with not a penny from anyone – have paid back all those student loans. Am a hair’s breath away from completing my Master’s – again, on no one’s dimes but my own. You have any clue how many minority people sacrifice, juggle work and home obligations just to push forward and gain skills and knowledge to take away the reasons that we are told ‘no’ and pushed to the back of the line?
Man! this is the first comment from a blogger that’s really ticked me off!!! Get educated, and get in line with everyone else!! I’m only sorry that the blog is so old that you’ll probably not see this comment. But, it will have to be enough that my comment will be here for the record as other bloggers happen upon this thread.
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IF, I and I stress the word “IF” this occurred, neither of these individuals is better than the other with regards to stereotyping.
Initially when I read this article, I thought this story was intentionally fabricated to invoke or spark a discussion. Perhaps the author felt the need to gain a better perspective on Asian women/dating experiences of racism? Who knows?
I would also submit that hopefully in the near months to come, the “diversification” factor would kick into the minds/brains behind the subject topics. Most have been (in my opinion) negatively geared towards black/white issues or Asian/white issues.
Rarely have I witnessed any articles about Jewish relations, Mexican, Latino, Persian, or other cultures.
Brandonhugs, you brought out some good points on your post dated 04/09/09. Miri2008 I appreciate some of the things you mentioned in your post.
Take Care everyone!!
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