200 men tell you the real reasons behind infidelity
What is wrong with men? Can’t there be one d**k one woman? What makes men cheat?
Having dug through past research, marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman that most answers on male infidelity came from the wife’s viewpoint. So Newman thought it would make more sense to ask the men. In his new book “The Truth About Cheating,” Neuman surveyed 200 faithful and unfaithful husbands to get at the real reasons behind men’s infidelity and even better, what the cheats say could have made them avoid straying.
As per 48% of the men, emotional dissatisfaction was sited as the primary reason they strayed. I know most women may be asking “Isn’t cheating for men supposed to be all about sex?” So much for that myth: only 8% of the men blamed sexual dissatisfaction as the main factor in their infidelity. “Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is sex.” Well, Neuman says, “…men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they’re appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they’re trying to get things right.”
Men are less likely than women to express their emotional feelings, so it’s quite hard to tell when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. Its considered as unmanly to ask for a pat on the back or some attention form your woman hence most of their emotional needs end up being ignored. “But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness — and once you set the tone, he’s likely to match it,” Neuman says.
Well here comes another shocker: 66% of the cheating men in the group reported feeling guilt during the affair. The repercussions of cheating are a little scary. It’s not like the only men who cheat are the uncaring jerks. In fact 68% of those who strayed never imagined ever being unfaithful and they definitely wished they hadn’t. Problem is guilt has never stopped a man from cheating. “Men are good at compartmentalizing feelings … They can hold on to their emotions and deal with them later,” Neuman explains. So even if your husband swears on his own children that he would never cheat, don’t assume it can’t happen. Both of you should take the necessary steps toward creating the marriage you want and preventing infidelity.
They say birds of the same feather flock together. Well so do cheaters. 77% of the cheating men admitted to having a good friend who also cheated. Being around fellow cheaters makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility – “My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his wife. So even the best of us do it?” Sad thing is, you cant forbid your husband from hanging out with Mr. Cant-keep-his-weewee-in-his-pants. All you possibly can do is request them to hang out in a less tempting environment which is not easy to control. The best thing both of you can do is build your social circle around happily married couples that share your values. This will be a supportive environment for your marriage.
40% of cheating men admitted to have met the other woman at work. “Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts,” Neuman says. “That’s another reason why it’s so critical that he feel valued at home.” There are usually warning signs that he is somehow drawn to a colleague: if he praises or mentions the name the female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, brace yourself. It’s high time for you to set boundaries about what is and isn’t okay at work. For example, working late if it’s only him and her, having dinners out to discuss a project. One thing you have to realize is you can’t control what your man chooses to do at work.
How many times have you heard a woman cry, “What did he even see in her? She is not even attractive. This is an insult!” Well, according to Newman’s survey, only 12% of cheating men said the other woman was more physically attractive than their wife. Newman decodes thus by saying that a man doesn’t cheat because he thinks he will get better sex by sleeping with a hotter looking woman. “In most cases, he’s cheating to fill an emotional void … He feels a connection with the other woman and sex comes along for the ride.” Women, focus more on making your relationship more loving and connected, rather than getting your body just right or mastering new sexual positions. However, I am not saying sex doesn’t matter. IT DOES! It’s one of the main ways your man conveys his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep that a priority too.
Here is another shocker – Only 6 % of the unfaithful men had sex with a woman after meeting her that same day or night. In fact 73% got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated … a connection was established. Newman says that one may actually have time to see the warning signs before he actually cheats. Some women may even see it coming before he does. Here are some of the common signals: he spends more time away from home, stop initiating sex, picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls. You definitely might want to confront him, but most men will deny it especially if nothing physical has occurred.
Neuman suggests, that wives should take charge of what they are in control of – their own behavior — and take the lead in bringing their marriages better places. Show appreciation for him, give him priority and show him how much you want him by initiating sex more. Give him a reason to put you at No. 1 in his mind, Neuman says. Be open about your marriage and how you feel without dragging a third party into the conversation. Newman says to try, “I think we’ve started to lose something important in our marriage, and I don’t want it to disappear.”
More importantly, be committed to keeping tabs on your love life and doing what it takes to keep it working for the both of you. Remember, it takes 2. Play your part.
I was in a relationship with a married man 9 years. The topic is about men but what does that say about women. I think men and women do what the other will allow them to do. We all are grown and make our own choices. He was married, still is and we are still together. She (his wife) left him, but won’t grant a divorce? Again, we make our own choices and somtimes there good and sometimes there bad. I think we should quit pointing fingers because one does not know what one will and won’t do untill there put in that situation themselves. She was with him 12 years and I 9 years of there 12. Both of us have children by him, she 2 and I 1… Are we (her and I) going too leave for good… only GOD knows that answer and untill he judges ALL 3 of us… what do we ALL do as grown individuals who may be caught up in Love; Lust and Life. God Bless.
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Just remember, everyone who cheats is a neighbor, cousin, sister, brother, daughter, son, mother or a father. So, if you are willing to call you’re own children garbage then go on hating. I love mi kids, odds are, one or both will end up in a situation like this. They are still beautiful people. People who live their lives with anger and hate need to understand the relationship of love and not just love in a relationship.
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Beleive me not all men cheat on their wives.. your just picking the wrong men to get in bed with. A DUCK DOESNT F@#$ A PIGEON.A DUCK F@#$s A DUCK!!!And these two animals are two birds!! So why do you have it stuck in your tiny little heads that because your people your different from the rest of the species that roam this wonderful planet…..Black and white people are not the same!!!!!!! we are cusin species.yes we are close enough that we are able to make offspring.But it doesnt make it right. Black people are killing their race and white people are killing theirs. thats sad. Can we put an end to this??? where do you want to be in 500 years?…WHat about your children.. Can you actually live knowing that your destroying everything that your peoples faught and died for?!?!?!The concept of ?equality? is declared a lie by every evidence of Nature. It is a search for the lowest common denominator, and its pursuit will destroy every superior race, nation, or culture. In order for a plow horse to run as fast as a race horse you would first have to cripple the race horse; conversely, in order for a race horse to pull as much as a plow horse, you would first have to cripple the plow horse. In either case, the pursuit of equality is the destruction of excellence.It is not constructive to hate those of other races, or even those of mixed races. But a separation must be maintained for the survival of ones own race. One must, however, hate with a pure and perfect hatred those of ones own race who commit treason against ones own kind and against the nations of ones own kind. One must hate with perfect hatred all those People or practices which destroy ones People, ones culture, or the racial exclusiveness of ones territorial imperative.A People without a culture exclusively their own will perish.
No race of People can indefinitely continue their existence without territorial imperatives in which to propagate, protect, and promote their own kind.
People who allow others not of their race to live among them will perish, because the inevitable result of a racial integration is racial inter-breeding which destroys the characteristics and existence of a race. Forced integration is deliberate and malicious genocide, particularly for a People like the White race, who are now a small minority in the world.The White race has suffered invasions and brutality from Africa and Asia for thousands of years. For example, Attila and the Asiatic Huns who invaded Europe in the 5th century, raping, plundering and killing from the Alps to the Baltic and the Caspian Seas. This scenario was repeated by the Mongols of Genghis Khan 800 years later. (Note here that the American Indians are not ?Native Americans,? but are racially Mongolians.) In the 8th century, hundreds of years before Negroes were brought to America, the North African Moors of mixed racial background invaded and conquered Portugal, Spain and part of France. So, the attempted guilt-trip placed on the White race by civilization?s executioners is invalid under both historical circumstance and the Natural Law which denies inter-specie compassion. The fact is, all races have benefited immeasurably from the creative genius of the Aryan People.
A people who are not convinced of their uniqueness and value will perish.Truth does not fear investigation…….All you nigger lover are sick and you should kill yourselves, how can you willingly destroy something thats been on this earth for thousands of years. you make me sic…Get some pride in who you are and where you come from….FOR EVERYONE….political,economic and religious systems may be destroyed,then be ressourected by men,BUT THE DEATH OF A RACE IS ETERNAL……….
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it sounds like you have some issues angelinoutfield69 oh and by the way im not LoveSpell39 I just used this name so i could type some stuff that I feel was important.
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well, due to the circumstance i was cheated on i feel nothing but complete disapointment (possibly soon to be exhusband) He has been sleeping with this woman from work for about 6 months now. he confessed because he coulnt deal with the guilt anymore. the kicker is its been 2 months since we ve been trying to get pregnant via invitro fertilization since he has fertility problems! 3 days after confessing that hes been cheating on me i found out that im pregnant!! so i have a couple of questions… what the f**k do i do now? and the second question…if he was unhappy and was planning on leaving why did he have me do all this?!!! why didnt he let me go n try to start a life with someone else. I ve given this man almost 9 years of my life. I feel alone, and i have lost my best friend. I dont think i can forgive him. some help please?!!!!!!!!!
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LOVESPELL39 – you lost me completely on that one….back to the cheating thing – my ex and i have been apart for a year, but we still work together. He tells everyone (except me) that he’s found “the one” he’s totally in love with this girl (who has loved everyone in town if you hear me) he wants to marry her blah blah blah YET he still chases me, calls me early in the morning before work, makes suggestive comments, and still wants us to have a relationship – just now he wants ME to be the other woman. Funny, isn’t it? Fortunately, I’m a strong independent woman and his choices no longer validate me. He has no conscience whatsoever.
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LOVESPELL39 your coming off 2 sound a lil bit racist there. But as far as cheating goes, i believe people only cheat to fill a void in a relationship whatever the void may be. And by cheating they release there fustrations that they have with there partner. But i also feel if your not ready to be in a faithful relationship you should just stay single and have fun and, when your ready to be faithful then you can settle down with someone you trully want to be with.
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I agree with mostly all the comments that were made.Men and women are both alike,sex organs are the only thing that seperates the two. Cheatig isn’t right and one should communicate with his or her partner and discuss the issues in the relationship. And yes a couple can still make it if they are willing to put pride aside and work on whats causing the problem. I was betrayed and worked things out and love er more now than before because I too know what it takes now to keep her happy.
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I believe that men cheat because you let them. I truly believe that if your man beileves that you WILL leave he will think twice before cheating. Every cheating man that I know has done it because he KNOWS that she will take him back (and they do).
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LoveSpell69 OR whoever you are, Lets talk issues… TRUE ISSUES because you definantly have them! First of all; your using someone elses (response name)and this is a FREE website which anyone can exspress what and how they feel about the subject at hand. I am entitled to my opinion just as you are and each and everyone that take time out of there daily routine to read up on the same subject… Respect it as everyone else did and when you get through doing that, take a moment and READ your own (BOOK) article. I’m sure you will loose yourself in it as I did and many other people who read it. You began making a point, I’m guessing… but somewhere down the line your chicken started to burn in the kitchen and you left to check on it. However; once you returned, you obviously forgot to proof-read to find out just where you left off….Need I say more? and also I absolutly agree with StuthaMan- I do feel your coming off way to RACIST! FOR GODS SAKE, arent we over that yet????
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There are only two thing that stop someone from cheating:
1. You being at your very best physically and emotionally
2. Character
#1 is extremely important…you have to look your best and be at your best…period end of discussion. If you are overweight and you think you look your best, well you don’t. If you are going after a man and you believe his ideal woman is 50 lbs. overweight, 95% of the time you will be wrong. That means, you are not picking and choosing your man…you are getting whats left. Which means you are more than likely to cheat. Its the reason why women or men who change their bodies for the better but their partners do not, end up leaving. Its not because they look better, but the accomplishment of going through the trials of looking better made them feel better. They have acoomplished something great and their mate has not. They now see that their mate is not as motivated and they want someone to match them. Because you do realize Like attracts like? So, if you are not at your best and you are attempting to find a man then you know exactly what you are going to get…you will get a man that is not at his best. Therefore, you both will be always looking for better. Even if you commit, you will still be looking for better because you are not at your best. Because if you were, you know for a fact you could find a better man. And what I mean is if there is something that you man could do better or be better at…if you were at your best yourself you would automatically believe that you could find someone who could do the things or be things your man is not. It is human nature to always evolve and improve.
Which, brings me to #2
When someone is at their best, they are more inclined to have the confidence and self-assuredness to have more of this:
Character. This is the single most important trait of a non-cheater. Someone who believes he or she is too good to lie and does not have to do so. A guy or girl with character will tell you if he or she will cheat and will do the right thing and leave. He or she will not cheat, he/she sees no reason to lower himself or herself to the level of a cheater. A person with character will not play you because that person believes he or she is good enough not to play you. That person can tell you the truth, give you the option to leave or stay and live with your decision…and you know what, more than often you will stay. At first you’ll be a bit emotional (or maybe you won’t) but you will respect the fact that the person was honest. And if you were emotional, a few months later you will call because you realize the person was honest and only exercised his/her right as a man or woman to do what is right for themselves.
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Lovespell39. You are an idiot. Not only are you spewing illogical propaganda but also lies. First of all, there is no such thing as an Aryan? That is a word that was made up. There is no country or continent where Arians lay claim, were initially born or live. There is not continent of origin for the Arians! Every single race has a continnent of origin. White people in general are not, as you call them, Arians dumbass. Soneone used that word to describe what they thought was a noble people but the earliest definition of the word suggests that all it means is “hospitable”. In fact, they stopped using the word entirely in academic circles around 1910 because nothing about its history was real. The word is a made up bullshit of a word. It means nothing. You are not Aryan because there is no such thing. And by you adopting this word and claiming some kind of status because of this so called word, it just means you’re a freaking moron.
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My question is why? What makes any cheat? Something missing? If it cannot be resolved, don’t complicate your life and someone’s else life by cheating. Emotions, time, are all wrapped up in a relationship. How do I know? Just ended a long term relationship with someone who was living with someone, that revealed to me, that he’s BACK with the woman we had been cheating with. I foolishly thought I was special. Hurt, but wiser….I know I deserve more. Glad for the lesson and the hurt, becasue now I know, it’s a persons nature to cheat. The person that iniates it is very, very good at manipulation and getting you hooked, but in the end, it’s not about you, it’s about him. Luckily for him, I’m not into hurting anyone and just have to let it go. The only regret I have is the time I put into this…
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Reason for cheating, there is no justifiable reason, it’s wrong I’m wrong. Question is why? I feel terrible about it and wish I didn’t. The other women cannot hold my wife’s bath water.
Why? Been married for 6 years and the sex have been awful. For the past 6 years, we have had sex 4-6 annually. Women on the blog say why don’t you bring up the issue to your wife for her to handle it. I believe that to be true, so this the reason I have brought up the issue probably 3-4 times annually. Then she would go into that she is tied from working and taking care of our daughter. So I ask, “Are you attracted to me,”" Do you find me attractive?”
To all these questions, she answers, “yes she does.” So at her recent annual physical I requested she have her thyroids check. All checked out normal and recently she admitted to taking me for granted.
Now in the past six years, I have been upset, not just for the lack of sex, but for the fact that I am the only one bringing up the issue each time. It upsets me to feel like it is just my issue. However, for the past four years I have defended my wife, saying to myself that I was selfish for my feelings. I need to give her credit for being a great mother to our child and she works hard in her career.
But in the past six months, I have had conversations with her telling her that my issues are real and WE need to deal with them. She says that she agrees with me and she wants to work on them. This work normally last for 2 weeks, and then we are back to the same boring routine. I Love my Wife and I can’t imagine being without her. I want to be closer too and with her physically, emotional and spiritually.
Issue is the lack of intimacy. No small conversations and I don’t feel important to her. Intimacy for her is me lying in the bed with her while she falls asleep. I’ve told her, it feels like we are roommates, not husband and wife some time. With the difficulty in the marriage, I have expressed to my wife my reluctance to have another child. I feel, if we have a difficult time connecting with one child, that it will only multiple with another child.
The other girl is just that, she adores me and has that sprinkle in her eye when she sees me. Truth is why her, because I can corrupt her. Sex is good and connection is good. We have had sex of 2-3 hours (without Viagra.) My wife has said to me after a recent 20 minute episode, that is was good and it didn’t take to long. I didn’t respond, because I was happy to be with my wife. But, I am amazed by how far apart the two of us are. I only lasted 20 minutes for many reasons: I know my wife wouldn’t like too much longer; it felt very good and I went with the feeling; I choose not to go too long to prevent further sex.
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We keep asking why do people cheat. You can ask the question a million times, come up with a million assumptions, but none of them are based on facts. I agree with a couple of things posted here. I believe that each person needs to have their own identity in a relationship. Men and women try to control every aspect of their relationship from where their partner can go, who they can hang out with, what time they have to be home, what they can spend their money on, etc. You look for equal partner not another mother or father.
I also agree that each person needs to look their best. You have to think when you walk out the door and say ooh that person is cute it is probably because they are dressed and they look presentable. So if you are running around the house everyday in sweats, never take a shower or do your hair, why would that keep your partner attracted? That probably isn’t how you looked when they met you.
I also believe people treat you how you let them treat you. If they have cheated on you before and you’re still there, it’s probably inevitable they will do it again. As Dr. Phil says, the best prediction of future behavior is past behavior. That means your behavior and your spouses.
I have also been cheated on, in my marriage and in a 10 year relationship that I was in. I am now single. I also have children from both relationships. That is not a reason to stay. Obviously, if it made it to that point it wasn’t a healthy relationship anyway. What is it teaching the kids? Is it teaching my son that is how you treat a woman? Or maybe I should let my daughter believe that is okay for a man to treat her like that instead of teaching her that she doesn’t deserve it and she can stand on her own. We tend to believe that kids are naive when they aren’t. I thought they didn’t know what was going on because we didn’t bring it up or argue in front of them. So when my daughter wanted to talk about it I was amazed she even knew. It made me proud that I was out of the situation and didn’t have to explain why I am settling for less than I deserve.
I also feel people are quick to bail on relationships these days. Marriages used to work because people used to work at them. The first sign of trouble didn’t mean run out and find someone else to bring into the relationship. Usually that doesn’t work out either. People need to take the time to reevaluate the situation and think if the grass seems greener on the other side maybe it’s just time to fertilize your own.
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Love, devotion, commitment,communication,it’s a choice I have to make each and every day if not moment by moment with the man I am with.
And yes he is cheating on me. I began recognizing the signs several months ago, which seemed to appear the moment I became daily critical of him because I was not satisfied with how he was treating me in light of all I was doing for him. I focused on that disastisfaction of mine and all that he was not to me and we both became miserable, he became more and more distant, I became more and more demanding and focused on every infraction.
I became critical, he left. He did not choose to do the right thing to make things better, he left.
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It’s been 4 years and the pain is still strong. I had a nervous breakdown when my second husband cheated. My first husband slept with whomever would have him, it hurt but just because the kids would lose their father being at home. My second husband and I dated for three years before getting married. I wanted to be sure before I said I do. We had a perfect marriage until he got on blood pressure pills and could no longer have sex, we tried everything, Viagra and all the other pills. Well I decided I could live without sex if it meant staying with my soul mate. He on the other hand became depressed he wouldn’t even shower half the time, I talked and begged and pleaded for him to get help, I told him I would never stray away for sex, because marriage is more than just sex….. my seventeen year old daughter got into drugs and drinking, I had her in counseling to no avail, one night my hubby got drunk for his birthday and my 17 year old climbed in bed with him….he still couldn’t get it up thank goodness, when she told me what she had done I lost my mind, I called the police on him and then I took my daughter to the hospital to be checked. I have never recovered and am on meds for depression still. When I finally had the courage to talk to him he cried and told me he thought that since she was young and pretty he might be able to get an erection…I wanted to kill him, he begged God to let him die..I told him I was the victim and let out all my grief and anger…but still here I am 4 years later and knowing that I lost my true love over SEX.I am in a relationship with a sweet man and I do love him,but I still have problems trusting. People put to much importance on a physical function, yes I love sex but you can have sex with anyone…love now that is rare to find, so please people realize that love is precious and wonderful and not worth losing over a piece of ass!!!!
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Fondasmurf
I’m sorry but you sound pretty pathetic. You really didn’t need to air that much personal information for everyone to read. Then on top of that your husband has disrespected you to the point of no return and you still remain loyal to him, not to mention he’s not able to make love to you (or won’t make love to you). Seek therapy and don’t keep carrying that baggage around.
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Will there ever be an understanding? Is there really a way to prevent infidelity?? I don’t know. All I know, and all i’ve ever known is: People cannot control the actions of another. People do not have the ability to be 100% satisfied and stay that way. I am a man. I was cheated on. I broke it off with her, and 3 years later she came searching for me. She was engaged. So, we started talking as friends. Hey, I enjoyed her company. After a few conversations, she told me that she was calling it off with the guy she was with. A few days after she told me this she shows up at my house saying how she was single. We had very passionate sex. Afterwards, I found out that she was still with the guy! And what really blew my mind was, it was the same guy she cheated on me with all those years ago. Its not just men. It’s people. So the next time I hear women calling men “dogs” or saying that they hate men because they mess around too much, just remember, it happens to everyone. It happened to me….And it almost ruined my life.
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Very timely data regarding exciting positions to do. Thanks for the info. Many people have similar situations in their lives.
Hayley
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Men cheat because they just aren’t happy with what they have at home,case closed, dogs!!!!!!!!
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Not all men cheat. Some men cheat because they are not completely satisfied sexually with only one person. And some men are immature and just want to have fun and think that they can get away with anything.
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i ben marrid for 8 years.but in that piriod of time
he hited seral time.we separeted for 4 year went with his lover had one child with her.know he’s back with me but i can never trust him again he is trying hard to make things work but the table is turne because am the one that’s chitting now.
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WOW!! The bitterness and past hurts just OOZES throughout the responses.
I found this article very helpful because I see it for what it is:
1) It seeks to gain understanding as to why men may cheat
2) It debunks a lot of myths that are out there as to why men cheat.
In reading the responses, I had to go re-read the article. After doing so, I couldn’t find where the article excused or implied excuses for men cheating.
I believe this information could be invaluable for entering into a new relationship as a preventative measure. Healing a relationship where the infidelity has already occurred is another can of worms altogether because trust has been broken.
What makes me laugh is these stats came from the horse’s mouth so to speak, or the men who cheated. They gave their reasons why they cheated only to have the Bitterness Brigade dismiss them and interpolate THEIR reasons why that person cheated! The arrogance is astounding! You know them better than they know themselves! Amazing!
I have never cheated in my life, but I will tell you this…in one of my previous relationships, when things were good we were happy, I was into her only and I would literally look the other way when women tried to hit on me.
But she was very demanding and controlling and when we were nearing the end of our relationship, I noticed that I started paying attention to those flirts and returning eye contact. I also noticed that I would be short-tempered with my ex. The only point I disagree with is what those signs mean. A woman should not take these reasons as a sign of infidelity, but as a sign of their relationship being in jeopardy.
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i cheated on mi bf n he forgave me n i did it agin n he forgave me again n den i think dat hes not happy n he wants ta cheat n b wit sumone else n if any gurl cheats on there man den u might wanna think bout it before u do cuz dey will say stuff like ur the one n bby dis n dat n den dey throw stuff up in ur face n say stuff like well u cheated on me so y cnt i do it itz kinda like revinge back on da chick n deyll say jk jk n stuff but u knoz wt they do behind ur back or to ur face well all im sayin is y n if u love dis guy n u r like in love wit him then y cheat n y lie bout stuff n i love mi man n im scared ta lose him n i dnt want to either but i think he wont cuz sum of the stuff he sayz i belive it
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I am a cheater, I cheated on my now ex wife no excuses! Now my reason in doing what I did was to me she criticized every thing that I done my friends weren’t good enough for her and she wouldn’t allow me to be the man she felt like she had to run shit.i startedcheating with a woman that let me be her man and showed me the love and attention that I exspected from my wife. Now I’m not sayin that was a cool thing to do but I’m just sayin!
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You know this entire article is making me realize that odds are I will probably ended up cheated on. I believe I deserve better than that, which is why I just don’t date much. I don’t like the games and odd emotional politicking that is involved with dating. It’s so cat and mouse and about people hiding who they are until the last minute and then having the nerve to be shocked at what they find. In my familial life all the men cheat. So as a result, I just don’t have much faith in the idea of a faithful man. I have friends who say thats one of the reasons they turned lesbian, even though no that I think about it that had it’s own can of worms.
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meant to say even though “now” that I….. Sorry.
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I wouldn’t listen to this blog because it is only talking to men who cheated. New studies show that women cheat just as much as men do now that they are more equal and more mobile due to transportation. I know plenty of good men that were cheated on including myself. I was engaged to one and seriously dated the five that came after and they all cheated on me and left me while I never once cheated on them physically or in my mind. So my personal experience backs up the new studies that women cheat just on men. And as a Pastoral Counselor, I have talked to just as many couples were the female as cheated as the male has cheated. I think part of the problem is sex before marriage and no one being in a serious committed relationship and people not taking marriage seriously since it is so easy to get divorced. If more people would go to premarital and marriage counseling to iron out problems before they get out of hand, then I think divorce and cheating would both go down. But the moral fiber of the United States is going down the tube which is why we have the highest divorce rate and highest cheating rate in the world. I think both sexes need to stick to their commitments which is the glue when people are tempted to cheat. My parents just had their 54 wedding anniversary and neither of them cheated the entire time nor did either of them have premarital sex which I think helped them grow closer. If couples got together for the right reasons like compatibility and commonality of interests and were truly committed rather than lust or looks consciousness and/or money, then they could have a long and healthy relationship like my parents and even though my parents are in their mid seventies, they are still happily sexually active. I think we could learn a lot from people like that who never cheated.
Joseph Moyer
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