Men aren’t about looks but about feeling
Looks are everything to a man. That is what we women believe. It’s the reason we spend huge chunks of our salaries on cosmetics, surgeries… It’s the reason most of us have self-esteem issues. We think looks is the weapon we can use to hold on to the men we love. We all want to believe men are nothing but visual creatures. Are they really? How many times have you ever heard a woman scream “YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH HER?” No matter if the other person is Latino, black or whatever, men are men, right?
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It seems looks are not everything: Yes, your looks may get you in a relationship but your personality is what will keep you there. You and your pretty looks may catch his eye but that for many is as far as it goes. Only your personality can earn you points. Men feel too. So as you spend that cash on looks, why not buy some personality while at it ;-) . According to Evan Kanz, that will keep him…
47 responses to "Men aren’t about looks but about feeling"
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kissime says:Posted: 14 Aug 10
~`Fear is a needed emotion. But remember, when your heart closes, others may keep their heart & soul locked- afraid of your rejection. Give love and swim in honey. Vulnerability at time may stimulate passion through your core. Open your heart as if taking a bite of an exotic dessert: you've never had its pleasure, you're hesitant... But know once tasted its sweetness will awaken your senses. This is written to you to ease any fear. Know this is not an attempt to win your heart. But only to help you with the possibility of ever embracing love if it ever kiss you so gently-by whomever.`~ FA~ AKA: Kissime
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jiaelin says:Posted: 10 Jul 10
its so sad that so many men desire beautiful women, but the assume that she has low self esteem because she takes pride in her appearance, where as if this beautiful women let herself go, men and women would talk crap. heres a tip for the guys and gals, try ralking to the woman before u make any final decisions on what she is like. im an attractive black woman, i model sumtimes, i hav an hour glass figure, a voluptuous size 6. when i go out, women r nasty to me n men for the most part r just idiots. i also live in a predominately white area. what i c is that a black woman having confidence n being happy goes against the rules. apparentyly a woman especially a black woman isnt supposed to b attractive, fun,fit and intelligent. i guess all pretty girls hav to b dumb or superficial. gentle men, how can u tell what qualities a woman has if u judge her jst in passing. most people cant even tell how old i am by lookin at me, n think that my daughter is my sister, my point is, if most people cant even get my age rite by looking at, what else hav their prejudments gotten wrong. saying hello to a lady is the best way to get a convo started, but if uve already made up ur mind about what u think u know then its best to keep it moving. to all my pretty sistas with a sense of fashion n style, keep doing ya thing, n dnt worry about the fools who think they r mind readers. because what most people dnt realize is that we r attracted to a persons energy, not jst the outer appearances. n if looks dnt matter then why all the hate toward pretty ladies, especially from all the other ladies. b urselves, make no apologies for it, n yes we will all come across bafoons but the rite one will come along. n to the fellas, learn how to act like men. women r not attracted to men who insult them as a way to get attention, or men who act like perverts especially n front of children. i think manhood has truly been lost n our society. men show sum respect for urselves stop blaming women for ur lack of confidence.
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tina3219 says:Posted: 09 Jul 10
All men are not about looks. However they are all about how you make them feel. Somewhere I read that most men start affairs because their wives do not listen to them. They want someone to validate them. and then there are the serial cheaters that no matter how much you listen the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
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Frank54 says:Posted: 09 Jul 10
Good article! Refreshing that someone has thought deeply enough to realize this. As a man, I do tire of the generalized perception that I am no more than a shallow, visual creature that cannot see beyond a woman's bustline. As with you ladies, we are all a little different as well. Do I admire a beautiful woman? Absolutely! Would you believe that her beauty can be a bigger handicap for her than if she looked more "average"? I'm just an average-looking guy. Most men like me feel that these "strikingly beautiful" women are beyond our reach. The reality is, most of them are. Most of them have been slobbered over by our society until they have become vain. Most of us recognize that type of woman to be a high-maintenance, insecure, emotionally fragile pain in the butt. Give me a tomboy! I want her smart, energetic, funny and adventurous. I want her to feel more comfortable in denim and flannel than in formal wear. When formality is required, she needs to show grace and elegance - all the while wanting to get away with me to drink a cold beer. Ladies, stay clean and healthy. Wear some light perfume and think about this. Being sexy to a man is more mental, than physical. My buddy and I discussed this a few weeks ago. I was thinking about who I consider to be the sexiest woman at our workplace. I asked him to name "his" pick. I was stunned when it was the same woman. She's about 40 and has struggled with weight management all of her life. But, she knows how to look at a man and what to say to him...a pure mental sexpert I declare.
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kissime says:Posted: 29 May 10
A Million Thanks To Our US Military Men and Women from the past and present for their sacrifices, dedication, and service to our country can not describe my appreciation. You are my heroes. The sacrifices you make every second of Your lives are inconceivable. I hope you return home with the strength of lions, peace In your hearts and minds. I hope you recognize the much needed help you need if necessary to find the balance you deserve to live prosperous lives. You are what inspires legends. I pray for your safe return home to your families and friends. I hope your hearts Remains strong through your journey~.
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kissime says:Posted: 16 May 10
baldhiker, your clarification was not requested. You're right, it is your opinion. By the way, there's no need to read between the lines-it is written by you clearly. You sticking to it does not effect me. My response is strictly for the following: Tell me, why did you change your name to, Jack47? Did you panic? You forgot to change your picture. When you checked my profile, I'm assuming you were curious. You forgot to clear your viewing option...I see you, baby,checking that... ...Gun down. Debate----Over
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Sunryze says:Posted: 15 May 10
The Question: You go for looks or personality? The Answer: Both. Nothing less. Ever. Different taste in looks and personalities, each to their own, there is no set mould. But it must be both...would you buy a luxury car with no engine in it?
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kelebek32 says:Posted: 15 May 10
@bigfine1966 LLLOL! After years of reading these blogs and responses, I, too, can never decipher homesteader's posts! Thought it was just me! You guys are too funny!
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NOPLAYER says:Posted: 15 May 10
@ - MissScorpio I agree that some guys do avoid very attractive women like the plague as a means of protecting themselves from being rejected. I used to think that very pretty women were a waste of time because I always assumed that they had a millions guys beating down their doors and them having so many guys to pick from, most of the time I just kept it moving. It wasn't until I got to know this very beautiful woman that I'd come to learn that sometimes beautiful women often times are lonely women. They're often falsely patryed as being stuck-up, a gold-digger or just brainless show pieces. As a result many of them spend alot of time alone and I'm sure it's fustrating that something thats favarable about you is looked upon as a fault. I think men should make an effort to move past their fears of rejection and try to get to know the whole person but I know plenty of women who avoid men that are deemed too actractive, so this goes both ways.
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bigfine1966 says:Posted: 14 May 10
homsteader: that is one of the first things you have written that i could understand. thanks maybe i am not taking the time to read closer.
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homesteader says:Posted: 13 May 10
Tenth grade English in Austin , Texas at the present time .
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homesteader says:Posted: 13 May 10
bigfine 1966 ; 1966 - That is the year that I graduated Highschool in New York State with a Regents Diploma along with my school accreditation for scholastic excellience in my 12 years of schooling . When I crossed over into the Great State of Texas in 1970 , some of my friends whom I worked with in Austin - our State told me that being a Yankee born and raised / All I would have to do is become Illiterate to be Accepted . Proud to say it only took me 40 years to achieve that fact and be accepted , LOL . And I only tell it as I see it . Learned many years ago that if you can spark anothers thirst for knowledge or make them Laugh or Smile that your day was knot wasted . And in closing / it is our daughter who teaches
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tiamaria says:Posted: 13 May 10
That's right baldhiker men are all about looks first and foremost thats how shallow lots of men are. Its only when they are ready for the knackers yard that they realise that personality counts and its usually too late by then. Women have worked that out well before then, that's why you find many pretty women with ugly men because of they have a good qualities, women are not as shallow. I have found good looking men vain, selfish, and up their own *****- give me a man with a good personality every time you will stay together longer.
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homesteader says:Posted: 13 May 10
takinitall ; I believe the time in my life has come to learn what all these terms really mean. We have been married over three years now the Wife and I / we met here online . Relativity wood be the proper spelling alas I never met any Ladies that I did not feel were Beautiful in their own way . People sometimes avoid looking at the whole picture of all of us being just people .
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takinitall says:Posted: 13 May 10
@Homesteader You are soooooooooooooooooo funny and the reason I am doing the breast cancer walk! For the record fat and thick are 2 different things. It all depends on the waist. If her breast are bigger than her stomach she's thick. If her stomach is bigger than her breast she's fat. Just a little Negro education! Save the tata's and donate to breast cancer research!
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bigfine1966 says:Posted: 13 May 10
homesteader i never can understand your replys to things. Is you or is it me? Will someone that understand him explain it to me?
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baldhiker says:Posted: 10 May 10
Actually, kissime, I was trying to say that as I've grown older, I've realized that looks aren't everything. I'm not trying to cast doubt on pretty women, I just feel that there needs to be something deeper than what's on the surface. Just my opinion, but I'm sticking to it. You can read between the lines all you want.
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homesteader says:Posted: 10 May 10
Spent thirty years of my life with 3 Ladies 44 DD , 44DD AND 44DDD . Made me very very very happy / they were Caucasian , Large . Others wood call them Fat alas I Enjoyed the time we spent together . I have noticed at an inter-racial site Women prefer to be called Thick . Realitivity as to terms .
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kissime says:Posted: 07 May 10
I agree, MissScorpio. Some people just keep getting involved with the wrong partner--it's called lack of good judgment. It has nothing to do with beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some has the "Saviour mentality". They end up in unhealthy relationships over & over. One can not be saved unwillingly. You can only save yourself. hotrod2009, nicegirl1 and jenna, claim your beauty--inside & out. You're beautiful and you all deserve the best! I sure hope I don't end up with a man who thinks I'm ugly according to his standards. Ladies, do not reply to baldhiker's flirts or messages--it wouldn't be a compliment...hey, he even put it in writing (read between the lines) A lot of men uses the term "EGO" gentlemen, an egotistic man is not a compliment. It's an exaggerated sense of self-importance;unrealistically beyond the truth. Confidence is respected- A confident man will know that his beauty is inside & out, and would expect the same of a woman, and therefore, will give the benefit of doubt. Kissime
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MissScorpio says:Posted: 06 May 10
There are some men out there who are afraid of being rejected by pretty girls, so they use the "lack of personality" as an excuse not to persue a serious relationship or to protect their egos incase she did actually reject him! Give us a chance guys, you may be pleasantly suprised !
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W_Chocolate says:Posted: 30 Sep 17
This is true sometimes it feels like the pretty girl is out of my league and it is easier, to allow for her to make the 1st move then try and end up being rejected. I do think I have missed out on several opportunities due to this thinking.
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hotrod2009 says:Posted: 06 May 10
I agree with nicegirl and jenna. But in the end they lose out on good women like us.
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baldhiker says:Posted: 04 May 10
When I was younger, I used to be like all the other boys, ga-ga over the pretty girls. Over the years I've learned the old adage of beauty being skin deep. If I see a beautiful woman, sure I'll look at her, but in the back of my mind is the thought "what else have you got to offer?". I think a perfect example of this are both Cheryl Tiegs and Christie Brinkley. As a youth, I thought they were the epitome of female beauty. Each one of them has been married and divorced four times! Thanks but no thanks.
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shotgun007 says:Posted: 01 May 10
***** "Men aren’t about looks but about feeling"****...... Uhmmmmmm... Yeah Right! Shotgun007
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radluv says:Posted: 29 Apr 10
Actually I think looks on are a big part of attraction,and that makes up part of love.... say for example if you were to ask a couple what is it that made you guys fall in love...the first thing one of the couple would answer is "she looked great" I think some women tend to go over board on cosmetics,surgeries..etc.... over all looks are part of the love package to me...
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Bellara says:Posted: 28 Apr 10
takinitall: you are absolutely CORRECT! this article is a typical case of idealism vs. realism ideally: we'd like to think that look doesn't matter or that it matters to an extent but in reality, we know looks matter A WHOLE LOTTTTTTTT. if anybody wants to test this, do what takinitall suggested my profile is well written (bunch of ppl asked me to write theirs)my point? 90% of people that contact me wants to tell me how good i look & some of them go as far as telling me what they can & wanna do to me (romantic huh) but of course they don't notice what i wrote on my profile because i apparently look like some kind of edible to them {gag}
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jenna says:Posted: 28 Apr 10
@Nicegirl1 LOL you are so right on that one,same here!
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blue1 says:Posted: 27 Apr 10
Looks will start my attraction, but who you are is what will get me to come back again & again. Since my divorce 9 years ago the woman I wanted to marry was the least beautiful of the bunch. However, she is and was the best of them. She had the personality.
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nicegirl1 says:Posted: 26 Apr 10
Yea right, if I were prettier and smaller I'd have more hits on my profile.
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realnice says:Posted: 25 Apr 10
@Kissime - So true to all you have written! A friend adheres to this saying when it comes to men - you're either with me or you're in my way. Life is too short to settle for less than you deserve. As for the subject matter, I have one thing to say. Looks are not forever and once that fades there better be someone of substance under the bright wrapping.
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takinitall says:Posted: 25 Apr 10
If looks don't matter I want everyone to take their pics off their profiles and see how many responses you get. Better yet ladies post some seductive pics and see how many responses you get versus some conservative pics. Looks do matter to a certain extent, if your partner isn't attracted to you physically, it will interfere with your relationship. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but if Flava Flav was broke and approached me he probably wouldn't get very far. For me confidence is super sexy. I love to see a lady walk with her head up and a guy who smells great. Know yourself and find what makes you beautiful and roll with it.
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pumpkin22 says:Posted: 23 Apr 10
@maxhb @SAMMY_D_LUV, Well said gentlemen! Your man as your lover is important for sure, but if he is your best buddy and confidant- that is the real clincher!
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SAMMY_D_LUV says:Posted: 20 Apr 10
OK I have to put my 2 cents in here lol Looks do attract but it's not everything to a man that wants a life long partnership, Looks fade with anyone over time so it's how you get along and how many things you have in common, the guy in the vidio says a man dosn't want another guy to hang with? Thats only partialy true. Sorry but why is it that the couples that have lot in common and like to do mostly the same things are the ones who last? Why is it the man falls for the woman that dosen't look as good? Because she liked to do things he liked or visaversa so they have a common ground for conversations as well as activities to enjoy Together. Best friends as well as lovers last alot better than just lovers. And a man will never trust the woman that was only looking at him as good looking and good lover because he knows when that hot passion wears off she may start looking again. And part of that is from experiance lol dang it. Any ways for this old head -- give me a lady who has alot in common with me- my best friend my lover, who can keep my mind and my time and thats the lady i'd want to spend the rest of my life with. Not some hoochie who only wants me untill the sex isn't new anymore. And Guys-- Treat ya lady like she really is your best friend, like she is Number 1 not second to anyone and maybe she will treat you like your her number 1 !! Tell her every day you love her! Actions also tell alot, so to both parties-- threat your mate like you love them as well as tell them- little things mean so much to most. Being rich in life is better than being rich in money. LOL ok so i'm a touchy feely mushy guy when I think of love- thats me take it or leave it. Couples that play/pray together stay together.
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Diversity says:Posted: 20 Apr 10
This was very informative, I believe if a woman would take what is said here and apply it to their relationship, it would only enhance their relationship.
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rose1866 says:Posted: 19 Apr 10
i like the video. It opened my eyes to a situation with one guy that i was talking to. Thanks and can't wait to see more.
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Bellara says:Posted: 18 Apr 10
it's not what women BELIEVE its the actuality. some men dont care if you are brainless or have the brain of a bird so long as you look f**kable, yikes sometimes all you need is a pulse. this doesnt apply to all men but sure does apply to A LOT!
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maxhb says:Posted: 18 Apr 10
Looks of course entice but character and health close the deal. Where you are coming from defines how we dance.....do we let each other in, drop our guard, go for broke ? for if not what is there ? a few hot moments then confusion, self doubt ? I want all or nothing in woman. For fear of being too boring I'll say....get near me and we can be close.
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RODEODRIVE says:Posted: 17 Apr 10
I enjoyed this video. I look forward to connecting to more of your work.
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kissime says:Posted: 17 Apr 10
I've never dated a man just because of visual appearance. And I've never expected a man to want me for whatever the reason-- may be because I think I'm having a pretty moment or day. To be honest, growing up I've never been attracted to jocks. Not saying jocks are not handsome or smart. I've just always been attracted to "nerds" or quiet men whom are intellectual,kind, and respectful. I don't like men who approaches me because they may think I have sex appeal. I know my words and my pictures may seem hypocritical. And I know my wardrobe and friendliness may leave some men with sex on the brain with the wrong impressions. Perhaps it's in some man's nature to jump to conclusion, or maybe some men are predisposed to think if the kitty meows she may need patting- I highly suggest you wait 'till she purrs,gentlemen ;-). I don't expect all of you to understand my beliefs-I'm okay with that. ~My Perfect World~: walking naked and eating from the fruitful trees--without the coverings of fig leaves. Yes, I agree, not all that sparkles are diamond...but they're just ohh so pretty to look at. I'm so glad you're no player, and once again,you're right; positive prominent personality is necessary in order to be in a healthy relationship. And our minds should be stimulated, for I truly believe orgasms starts in the brain...so a temptress I shall be with the man I call mine, and he knows and declares me as his one and only woman-that he loves. I'm educated, have income, I have a professional title, I have a great personality, and I'm sweet as apple pie, and don't forget the whipped cream. I know how to make a man feel good. "I Love You" these three words are definitely sweet and simple. And you know what, my love, I never miss the opportunity to say them. Your back is hurting love? You had a rough day? I'll draw your bath water and add the bath crystals--matter of fact, I'll join you and rub your back. Are you hungry? My grandmother raised me, and I know how to cook. A clean house is a must...come dance with me. I love your parents and family as long as they respect me. The remote control is all yours when you're watching your favorite show. The garage you can do whatever you want to it. But leave the house decorating to me...MMWWAA! A man's personality will determine if he's a keeper or a loser--the latter, I wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. So many men have absolutely no clue on how to be a good man. Your money and cars does nothing for me. You can whisper sweet nothing while you look in the mirror. Your stroke is all wrong without genuine feelings, I don't care with what you're working with. A lot of men have forgotten or may have never known the fine art of how to court a woman. I partially blame the so called modernize women. What next? I guess I should send him flowers and candies. Better yet, I'll carry him to bed. He is a man, ladies, let him be a man! He doesn't mind being one. But I truly believe a lot of men have become lazy in the love category. Besides the lack of guidance from a respectable male figure, they are also so used to hoochies chasing them they think it's normal. Gentlemen, some of your mothers are single because of so many imbeciles disguised as men. Don't be one of those men. The ill treatment you may have witnessed as a child...it's not normal, and most definitely not acceptable. Having children by 3-4 baby mamas is not cute. Not taking care of your children, and other responsibilities is not noble. In America, English is the 1st language-learn how to speak it properly. AKS/AX does not = ASK: A S K. okay, say ass & add K- if that makes it easier. INEXCUSABLE. When you're with your woman/lady, starring at another woman is not respectful. It's just rude. How would you feel if she was starring at another man? Fighting is not attractive unless attacked or a love one is being hurt. Being stubborn for all the wrong reasons does not make you a man. You want to play the field? That's fine. But you know what? When even VIAGRA can't treat your erectile dysfunction don't send me a flirt 'cause now you decide you're going to treat a woman the way she should be treated... Play on playa. Perhaps I should follow my father's footstep and be an author. I have a title: " How To Get a Woman to Fall In Love With You, and How To Keep Her Happy Forever" Yes, I'd love to love you, but you must want to love me, monogamously. In your profile when it comes to your children:"FIND OUT LATER" Notorious. I'm not on a dating site to meet friends. You're looking to socialize as friends? . My true friends does not keep "standbys" How can you truly get to know someone when you have 2 or more other people in line? How can you fall in love if time is not invested? You want to be a rolling stone? It's you prerogative, but don't use reverse psychology on me telling me I don't know how to keep a man. I know how to get a man, but I may not want to keep you. I'll be your best friend when we're on route to something greater, and will remain loyal to you only when we've established what it is we truly want from each other. And that must be "Just the Two of Us" To the Men of Principle: So Much Love and Respect to You. It takes 100 % from the both of us to make our love last. "A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal ~Kissime~
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pumpkin22 says:Posted: 16 Apr 10
@NOPLAYER, I agree. There's a big difference between true love and addicton isn't there? What I see in the couples who have staying power are the ones who: don't take their partners for granted and remember that being loving and affectionate doesn't end with the courtship. They're the ones who continually get a kick out the other's personality, even 40 and 50 years later. Just keep the old coot laughing!
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jenna says:Posted: 15 Apr 10
You know what Ria, where I am from looks are everything my dear,lets be real,you know men like their eyes to be amused,they don't study personality,maybe from where you're from not back here for sure! We have a saying that"The bad girls get the good men and the good women get the bad men" We see pretty pretty girls who are total witches to their guy and he don't mind because she's hot,they score a hot girl! LOL!
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NOPLAYER says:Posted: 15 Apr 10
Just because it sparkles dont mean it's a diamond. I've said it time and time again a woman's personality will determine if she'll a sleeper( pillow friend) or a keeper. Good looks, education, income and professional titles will never beat out good personality. I had a female friend whose not only beautiful but extremely sexy comment about her ex man's new woman saying, "what does he see in her?" and being pissed off at her vanity I replied, " apparently everything he didn't see in you!" She had yet to learn that charm and a good personality are more seductive than sex appeal I wouldn't doubt if 20 years from now she'll be one of these 50 year old women running around getting tummy tucks and breast upliftments trying to compete with women half her age trying to appeal to men. LMAO So many women have lost the knowledge of themselves and the power inherent in femininity. They've turned into temptresses because they dont know how to attract and keep a man on the basis of whats between his ears and so they have to attract him with his eyes and hold unto him by his penis. So regardless if he's strung out on crack or feminine crack, he's still an addict and we all know adicts only care about their addiction. Tell the truth and shame the devil! LOL
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homesteader says:Posted: 14 Apr 10
Yes ; Men Love pretty Women / At another site this morning , I saw Kim Kardashian in a Bikini [ side view ] - " coin-slot " was title of picture . Silver dollar slot Hehe / still pretty tho . She got her a football player / Meanwhile , Halle Berry looks nice / alas she was with an Italian policeman in " Catwoman " and told him in the end , it wood never work out . Two Down / Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder . Making a Man feel Good is more important than spending hours everyday appling make-up to hide faults / which by the way will show in the comfort of ones own home at night . A good daily " I Love you " / repeatedly - will show more than a box of make-up . Enjoy / Who you are , the Happier you make someone else - the Happier you will be , Hehe . How many times have you Heard a man say " You Cheated on me with Him ? " Ria ; Enjoy , What happens in Vegas - stays in Vegas ,LOL.
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I’m sorry but I’ve witnessed where men are about looks first and they go from there into feelings. Now, if a man is already in a relationship then this would apply. Why? The man is searching for an emotional connection in which he can’t obtain from his current situation.