I want to be with you... not just yet!
You have been with someone for a whole seven years. They want to be with you… eventually. But for now, they have decided to take a rain check. So make me understand this; how does one have future plans with you but don’t want to be with you right now? Suddenly, someone feels that by being with you, they are missing out on something.
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This happened to someone. The dude claims that she is wife material. BUT… the big BUT… something is amiss. :roll: Its like having a switch on, then someone turns it off, hoping to switch you on whenever its convenient for them. What do you tell such a person? “Honey, go find yourself. Once you do that, I’ll be here waiting on you?᾿ HELL F****** NO!!!
Most men especially (pardon me) are kind of wired to wonder about what else they might be missing out there. Curiosity huh? Well don’t pull some Jack Sparrow on a woman who has your heart.
I don’t think it is healthy to subject yourself to years of torturous thinking while someone is having one hell of a time finding themselves. Do you think it’s worth losing 5 pounds in 3 days over some compulsory break-up diet? Is that enough hope to hang on to?
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7 responses to "I want to be with you... not just yet!"
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Seyonce says:Posted: 29 May 09OMG... this exact same thing just happened to me. I dated a guy for like six months and he basically told me that I was "girlfriend material" but he was not ready for a relationship.He dated me for six months and was still calling me his " special friend" instead of his girlfriend. he would always say one day we may be married and have kids... like to give me false hope while he goes and searches for some ideal fake trophy chick!! I wassooo hurt!!. he was 44 years old and still hitting on tons of women on Facebook but had the nerve to hang a picture of my up by his bed like thats supposed to make me feel better. He said that he was not ready to be in a relationship but said that we had "great potential". He was so full of shit!!. Honestly, I just think that he was waiting for some so called " goddess"to come along and feed his ego so that he could feel attractive and special.He thinks that he can get any women that he wants because his brother is an actor.Once these women know what I know... they wont stick around long...LOL. The next time a dude puts me on friggin standby while he is trying to explore his options. I'm giving his ass a oneway ticket out of my life!!. There wont be another 6 months of waiting for some dude to grow up!!
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SWF68 says:Posted: 13 Oct 08
Jeanette is right on! - You have to give someone a chance. No, they do not come "unscathed" & I wouldn't want them to. However, if after a short while, like the first 4-6 weeks (that flighty infactuation period) of getting to know each other is up, you kind of know if you are both on the same page or not. If not, then move on. Do not waste your time or their time by searching for something better & never really giving this person a fair & honest chance. Someone is missing out on the Fabulous YOU, while you are pushing for more than this "he/she" has intended to give you. I hate when I meet someone, feeling good about the whole thing, removing my profile because I intend to give it a good all american shot, only to have that little voice inside me say... Girl go check, I bet you a $100 he's still online! "Player Red Flag"!!! And of course there are 100 reasons why he is still chatting it up with others or just reading the profiles, yadda yadda yadda! If you're here for the sole purpose of "dating" not "mating" then tell it like it is, so that those who want more, can find like minded people! Never ever second guess yourself or allow someone to tell you different than what you all ready know...
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Nicholas says:Posted: 22 Jul 07Hi James being in a relationship with an asian(indian) girl, i've come across the same problem. she says she wants to be with me forever but first she has to finish her high school. a problem are her parents offcourse, who would never approve of her living with me, because she has to marry a indian man. so she would have to abandon her family, it's sad but it's the only way. what i don't understand, is why she cannot finish her studies in my city and when i bring up this subject she avoids the matter. because she cannot leave her house when she wishes(although she's 18) we cannot see each other alot. only once or twice a month. she'll finish her studies in two years. so that's alot of 'waiting' time. problem is that i'm beginning to doubt how sincere she is. i don't know why. maybe because if it was me in her position i would be standing at her door the minute she told me i could come and live with her.. anyhow i've made my first vlog about our story, you can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Rw5eUbAHMM best regards Nicholas
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jeanette says:Posted: 21 Jul 07Hi JP, you are right. Men know right from the beginning what the want. Ladies do know as well.Unfortunately most of the time it is the boy in the man behaving this way. Earlier on i used to go out with men my age or 4 years difference. After some heartaches, i thought nah! go for the older man, he is more mature, knows what he wants, has been through that, done that, the whole package. But again, the one time i did fall for someone 10 years my senior same thing, "I want to be with you BUT". JP how do you tell a MAN from a man? Because as far as i have seen even in my friends' experiences, there will always be boys in every living man. The honest sincere ones, who will be straightforward with you right from the beginning seem to have migrated to another planet. :)
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Jeanette says:Posted: 20 Jul 07
Well, if i hear the word "But" after that "I want to be with you", i know it is time to MOVE ON. Why wait for someone to find themselves? What assurance do we have they will EVER find themselves? What are you supposed to be doing in the meantime? Having been in such a situation, I put my cards on the table right in the beginning and say what I want from the relationship and work towards it. If the guy/lady thinks it is not what they want, then look for someone else. I think it is unfair for someone to put the other person in such a situation.
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hiimsteph says:Posted: 20 Jul 07wow that is so right I'd hate that if it happened to me, all that effort and emotions wasted on a false hope.
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I know where I am today and if I'm dating someone who tells me she thinks would be perfect, but, well she can kiss mine. LOL