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Are his pants smart enough for you?

Posted by Ria, 11 Jul

When it comes to overlapping the brains and the soul what wins at the end of the day?

Some women meet great guys … great sex, treats you like gold and one who is ready to put that ring on them. Everything is great EXCEPT …. intellectual compatibility. The stuff he discusses are nowhere within your league. While you talk about global warming, he is busy turning it into some Ed, Edd and Eddy thing. So should this stand in the way? Will this bring a problem five years down the line?

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There are other ways to be successfully married and your spouse won’t be endowed with everything, from looks, to sex, to brains. I mean if he has like 3 positives, then go for it. But here is one thing to consider, if the stuff he talks about annoys you now, what about five years down the line. But if everyone considered intellectual compatibility before saying I do, how many of us would be married? And imagine the divorce rate being twofold.

Well I decided to get a man’s take on this one. Apparently, when a man treats you like gold when he is your boyfriend, won’t be till death. For many men, courtship is most importantly about attracting the mate. And marriage, with a job, kids and a woman’s spreading waistline, all this begins to slide. So the way he acts pre-marriage is not necessarily the way he will act after the marriage.

And this is why intellectual compatibility matters. So once the gold treatment wears off, you will still have books to talk about; stimulating debates about global warming to chew over. And from a man’s point, intellectual compatibility could save and enrich a marriage more that all the chocolate and flowers in the world. You evolve at the same pace.

Well, I don’t need no smarty pants to be happy. If he treats me with respect and makes me laugh, I am ok with it. Oh!!! And love of course. So what is your take on this?

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11 responses to "Are his pants smart enough for you?"

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  1.   Bellara says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 09

    am intelligent!very intelligent!so if you look like a greek god but makes paris hilton look like an A student?thats a NO-NO! if you are super smart, but not so good looking then umm thats a NO-NO as well. i'm intelligent and beautiful and its a must for my man to be at least good looking and definitely have the ability to carry and hold an intellectual conversation. looks can get you somewhere, but intelligence gets you pretty much everywhere, or at least much farther than looks.

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  2.   coppertop says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 08

    "For many men, courtship is most importantly about attracting the mate. And marriage, with a job, kids and a woman’s spreading waistline, all this begins to slide. So the way he acts pre-marriage is not necessarily the way he will act after the marriage." I don't think all men think like that. And women lose interest in relationships too.

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  3.   Shimska says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 08

    When the newness of a relationship has worn off what are you left with? You need to have a strong foundation as the glue that keeps you together. The opinions don't have to match, in fact it can be more exciting when they don't, as long as you HAVE an opinion and respectfully speak your mind. If I want a one-sided inane conversation I'll talk to my dogs. If I want to discuss the environment, politics or football, I want someone who can interact with more than yes/no responses. Intelligent thought is a turn-on. Remember guys, something like 80% of sex is mental for women. If we don't respect you, we can't respond to you. No one wants a "know-it-all" either. True intellectual acuity is a fine balance between knowing, learning and sharing.

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  4.   Aurorin says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 08

    Intellectual compatibility is an absolute must! I love learning new things so it makes perfect sense for me to be with someone who has the same interests. At the end of the day, I need someone who can stimulate my mind.

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  5.   GOLDSILVER says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 08

    We must be on the same wagelength in terms of intelligence - nothing worse than pregnant pauses and scratching you head trying to think about what to talk about next!

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  6.   Anonymous says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 08

    Hhmmm...All of your comments are interesting. I would however like to play "God's advocate". And I don't necessarily mean that in a religious context but simply because the latter is just not desirable to me in any way shape or form. What you've all described above in your posts boils down to your desire for love...which is a great thing right? But what you're not describing my friends to even yourselves is your desire for unconditional love. I agree with you that intellect may be necessary but in playing God's advocate, what happens when intellect as you know it today ceases by some unfortunate event. Then what? You don't have it anymore because of brain cancer or a car accident that has left your loved one unable to communicate in the way you were conditioned in the love you grew or your significant other is now bound in a wheelchair. What happens then? You get divorced and then you're back here again posting your profile? Take the easy way out? Again, what you've all described in your statements is the desire for love, not true unconditional love. And so that leads me to ask, what exactly are you looking for? Do you even know? Here is dictionary definition of the differences between the two: In conditional love: love is 'earned' on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover, whereas in unconditional love, love is 'given freely' to the loved one 'no matter what'. Conditional love requires some kind of finite exchange whereas unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless. Unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will. So again, I agree with you that certain parameters are desirable when looking for your ideal mate but just like the unconditional love we have for our children, which I should remind you do not have your level of intellect but yet we still love them unconditonally, you should practice getting to a point where you look beyond not as smart as you, not as good looking as you, not as fit as you. At the end of the day, trust me, those things will not matter when you have found your true unconditional love. Good luck to you all. To answer the posting writer's question, When it comes to overlapping the brains and the soul what wins at the end of the day? For true unconditional love to prevail, the soul must always win. But maybe you all are just looking for regular ole love and I guess that's ok too.

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  7.   morningflower says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 08

    I think this one is a "no brainer" - pardon the pun.

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  8.   Glock says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 08

    Beauty only goes so far, intelligence is a must. Being able to hold a conversation about anything going on in our world today is a must. I want to know how my significant other thinks about current affairs, issues and politics. I enjoy a good debate and want to know what is going on in her mind. I think there are so many things to keep up on in our world and I am always reading about something I don't know about or want to know more about. Nothing is more frustrating than to ask a question about something occuring in our country and hearing people say "I don't know, or I don't keep up on that stuff". It would be even more frustrating to have your girlfriend/wife say that.

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  9.   lovemyjeans says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 08

    "If he treats me with respect and makes me laugh, I am ok with it. Oh!!! And love of course" OMG!! I would die if I could not have an intelligent conversation with the man in my life!! Those are the conversations where you learn about each other! How he thinks, and his view of the world. That is what you need to know in order to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. Love, respect, laughter, and intelligence are requirements....PERIOD!!! I so agree with DarlingGirl. The popularity of stupidity is on the rise, especially in America. However, my view is it stems from people not wanting to take responsibility for their actions, and just not wanting to grow up!!

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  10.   feistyjesse says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 08

    I couldn't agree with Darlinggirl more. My take on it is that you can get along famously and have a lot of fun with just about anyone who has a great personality, is good-looking and like to have fun. You can overlook the fact that he/she is not the most brilliant person in the world, but those are the kinds of people you only want to spend some of your time with. When it comes to someone you are with 24/7, then you need them to have brains for your intellectual sanity. You have to have something to do when you are not having fun. Plus, if you always feel superior intellectually, you cannot help but look down on your partner, which is never a good thing.

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  11.   DarlingGirl says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 08

    Intellectual compatibility is a must! Actually intellectual curiosity is MUST! I can not bear speaking with strangers who are willfully stupid why would I lower my standard to a potential mate? On a simpler note; how in the world can two people discover one another if their conversations are of the weather or "Sex and the City"? When did intelligence become a character flaw? There is a growing trend of anti-rationalism and anti-intellectualism in the U.S. which impedes communication and reason and in turn creates a slew of societal problems. (Besides being mind-numbingly dull) Curiously enough while people are becoming more and more proud of not being able to locate the country in which they live on a map they realize the importance of organic foods and exercise. Well just as a person cannot be physically healthy with a sole diet of junk food they cannot be "healthy" with "feeding" their intellect with the equivalent of junk. I say hooray for intellectual curiosity! Mathematical ability is seductive, Enjoyment of Classical Arts and Literature quite sexy and Political and Social Discourse are an aphrodisiac! Life is too short to live in a self-induced comatose-type state. I for one do not want a "successful marriage" if it means that I am bored and I feel that my brain is atrophying. He Loves Me so I it is fine that we are disintegrating into two lumps on the living room sofa? No, I will definitely cheat being self-imprisoned in the situation. All the couples that I know who have truly wondrous marriages share a love of adventure both physical and intellectual. There is a world to be discovered so give me Mr. Smarty Pants any day!

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