You have been going out with your boyfriend or girlfriend and all is great. Except for one problem … No Sex!
Well a few months after Jane and Eugene started dating, they had sex. Suddenly however, Eugene would stop in the middle of a serious making-out session. Jane really wondered what was wrong or what she did wrong the first time she had sex with him. Anyway, after a year of almost-having-sex sessions, Eugene opened up to her and told her that he was a virgin when they met and kind of freaked out when they had sex the first time.
That said Jane talked to him and assured him that she was fine with it because it’s not like she had so much experience herself. However it’s been now another year since coming out of the closet thingy and still Eugene hasn’t been able to get past this, and now Jane has kind of resigned to her fate of probably never having sex again with the man she loves. In fact she put an end to any physical relationship between the two of them about 9 months ago just out of sheer frustration.
Jane has tried talking to him about this so many times … she has tried everything short of counseling but still … Jane even asked him if this is something he wants to wait till marriage for but he denies that. She loves him, and she knows he loves her.
The dilemma is, should she resign herself to this for the rest of her life? How does she break up with a guy that she so wants to be with? Would you give up sex for love?
[tags]no sex relationship
Tags: interracial relationships, interracial dating, asian white dating
Popularity: 9% [?]
Comment by lulubell on 1 February 2008:
While I conceed that it is possible for this senario to arise I would just like to (snort) point out that it is very unlikely! How many newlyweds/new couples do you know that can keep there hands off one another? Im thinking Jane should stage an intervention with his parents and there family doctor-that’ll be worse for him than admiting to irrectile disfuntion, he’ll either leave her (in a mortified state) or get the problem sorted - Solved!?
Comment by mustang2011 on 1 February 2008:
No way. Sex is a great part of the relationship and I would probably have to move on as hard as that would be. That would be AFTER exploring many other avenues, talking, therapist, etc.
Comment by olseto1to4 on 1 February 2008:
hi i wont to do sex weht you do you wont me 21 yers old from lebanon
Comment by dark1ande on 2 February 2008:
Sex is an important part of relationships. On the flip side- if a partner could no longer have sex due to an injury or illness would you leave them? Sex is great but it isn’t everything.
Comment by gracian1979 on 2 February 2008:
As a therapist myself, I would recommend getting help. Working together constructively before making any major decisions is always a good route to take. Even getting help individually for both partners is good. Its important not to start the blame game, any version of it. Sometimes people start to think there must be something unappealing about themselves and thats why the partner can\’t \”perform\”. Others might begin to look down on the partner who is having erectile difficulties (if thats what it is). Once the accusations and nagging start its difficult to move past the difficult to a solution.
Comment by Georgielily on 3 February 2008:
If I was in a relationship there should be some physical contact between two partners…
If there is none then there is no relationship only left is friendship….
Comment by fantabulus on 3 February 2008:
i don’t think its a problem as long as they love each other its cool.
Comment by navyguy2222 on 3 February 2008:
I agree with Mustang2011. Especially if the two of you are moving towards a serious relationship, and marriage is an ok topic…
Comment by Schone on 5 February 2008:
I do know of persons who have gone through such a situation but they eventually moved past the problem and are having a great sexual relationship.
The lady in the situation felt guilty because she is a christian and her religion forbids sex outside of marriage. The guy was frustrated and actually broke up with her because he could not stand not being able to make love to her.
They eventually got back together however and got married and the rest is history…..
Comment by Schone on 5 February 2008:
I do not think that I could live with someone who refused to have sex with me. Sex is such a vital part of a relationship that it actually feels as if one is not careful it could become the most vital part. It connects the persons involved. Without sex in the relationship it would make it just a friendship.
Comment by redpassion on 5 February 2008:
I’m a disable woman in wheelchair. In the past i left man because he didn’t want have sex. Sex is the complement of lovers and is very important have it. I think that too much people have to learn and how to make happy his or her partner. Without sex and imagination the relationship decrees and will broke.
Comment by kikidallas on 6 February 2008:
I DON’T THINK THAT WOULD WORKOUT, UNLESS WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY DO NOT WANT TO SLEEP WITH ME AND THAT I CAN SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. IT WORKS ON ALOT OF THINGS MENTALLY. BUT ALSO THERE ARE SOME FACTORS THAT I WOUD HAVE TO THINK ABOUT FIRST LIKE SOME TYPE OF ILLNESS THAT MIGHT PRVENT THEM FROM HAVING SEX, OTHER THAN THAT, I THINK I COULD MARRY SOMEONE THAT DOES NOT WANT TO SEX ME DOWN.
Comment by PattyCake48 on 7 February 2008:
I understand Schone. Sex between two people who care about each other is no longer sex, it’s lovemaking. When you make love, you bring something into it and you take something out. That’s why it hurts when the union doesn’t last. The couple Schone knew understood. She stood her ground and got her man. He knew she was a keeper. Sex is for marriage.
Comment by Ruth7 on 7 February 2008:
I believe it is possible to have a relationship without having sex. Many people choose to abstain until they are married. It is an issue that needs to be discussed openly & you can only be in the relationship if there is a mutual agreement, otherwise it could lead to a lot of frustration which could spill over into anger, bitterness & resentment over time. I think that even if you agree not to have sex, you do need to talk about it on some level as sexual compatibility or lack of will affect you should you get married.
Comment by paula99 on 8 February 2008:
hell to the no!!
Comment by gacocoa on 8 February 2008:
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH RUTH7.SO WELL SPOKEN RUTH7
Comment by Ruth7 on 9 February 2008:
Thank you gacocoa.
Comment by rickie70 on 13 February 2008:
Amen dark1ande, I totally agree.
Comment by 3dsports on 14 March 2008:
If you are not having sex you may as well just be friends. Sex may not be everything, but it is important…
Comment by carmelskingirl on 18 March 2008:
Yes I would marry without having sex. That is like the best part. I respect my mate for wanting to respect me and want to see where thing goes. For a lot of us sex we dont give it a thought till afterwards and then all your emotions play in. If someone truly cares for you they would discuss it with you and talk to you about it. By not jumping in all of a sudden it strengthhens your relationship. The sex can be bomb meaning it can be great but if you have a sh**y relationship it is nothing but headaches and drama. So it is something to think about. There are other things besides sex you can do such as intamacy.
Comment by 3dsports on 26 March 2008:
COULD NOT DO IT…May not be the only thing, but it is important.
Comment by sortaann on 28 April 2008:
Sex…Base on life experience and maturity i realize sex is not all…. If i am with my man and in any event he can’t have sex it wouldn’t change anything…
… Would i marry someone who doesn’t want to have sex? No!
Comment by BIG MAMA on 18 June 2008:
Ruth,
Girl, You go head on and preach!…..I agree with you also. Very well put!