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The thin line between preference and prejudice...

Posted by Leticia, 16 Jul

After reading one of our blog posts I felt compelled to do my own internal investigation. The reality is that I'm still coming down off of last month's discovery of me possibly being a racist. I'm not sure how much more I can take. It is certainly only my opinion, but it seems that we still do a lot of comparing and complaining ourselves when it comes to the different shades of bigotry.

It's more than apparent to me that what I'm about to write is like the pot calling the kettle black. It doesn't escape my notice that as a writer, I am on a daily basis the biggest perpetrator of this action. Knowing this, the question still comes to mind..."Why are we still talking about skin color?"{COLOR_STRUCK_SID_X}.

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Why are we still tripping about light skinned versus dark skinned? Why are we still using as an excuse for bad behavior and self hatred, what happened over 200 years ago during slavery? I understand and truly believe that if we do not know our past we are destined to make the same mistakes. However, if we are constantly looking back we can not effectively create a future that is different or any better than the past that we are trying to escape.

Holding on to past atrocities does not make us any stronger than letting go makes us forget. Learn the lesson and move on. If we are still talking about it, writing about it, we continue to get caught up in it. "But it sho' does make for interesting conversations." Yeah, it does and that's why I write about it. Any and every time there is a topic about race...everyone has a comment, opinion something to say. It's a hot topic, always has been.

However, let me or anyone else write about, oh, I don't know, maybe a salute to men and no one, or (not nearly as many people), have anything to say. Race isn't the only issue that gets way too much bad press. How many times have you complained about the quality of lyrics on the radio today? It's horrible. Let's see we've got Rock, R&B, Rap and now "Musical Porn". There are alternative artists out there putting out quality clean music, but it's not as popular and it doesn't sell as much. It's the same with the race issue. There are tons of "other" things that we can talk about but, it seems that nothing stirs your passion as much as a good fight about color.

We're so quick to jump on someone for having an opinion or preference that is contrary to our own. Go back and read some of the comments from last months "Race topic". We are supposed to be the more understanding. I don't know why I think this. Some of your comments were hateful. Not only were there attacks on one man's character, some went as far as calling his girlfriend ignorant. Why, because he told the truth about his preference not to live next door to black people? I don't want to live next door to some black folks my damn self and I certainly don't want to live in nor near a trailer park; does that make me a racist?

When did we start talking to each other and acting like "they" act at the other dating sites? Is the truth that WE are THEM? Is the only difference that we express our right to make a different racial choice when it comes to dating? However, we still think like THEM? So, tell me why is it that we can't move beyond this issue? Why don't we want to? Who's really keeping the race game going, is it them or us?

Oh, I forgot...we're one in the same. I can't wait to read these comments!

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57 responses to "The thin line between preference and prejudice..."

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  1.   cocobaker813 says:
    Posted: 11 May 08

    I'm really glad this conversation is happening too. I think Letisha started out with the Light/Dark skin controversy which is still perpetrated by both lighter and darker skinned people in ALL ethnicities. Yep, I heard a Caucasian woman tell some talk show host of color that she was treated differently from her sibs because she was the darkest skinned child in the bunch(brunette hair, dark eyes skin with a warmer skin tone; the others were blonder,cooler skin coloring, lighter eyes)! Of course looking at the 'downtrodden' sib vs. her blonder sister, I really couldn't say she was 'darker', but the Native American heritrage they had was slightly more obvious in her coloring. Her heartache was that she didn't feel 'white' enough to fit! I didn't want to laugh, but it was interesting that she thought 'dark' was so negative. It was repeated over and over until the host(a person of color)had to show her that her 'darkness' was a perception, compared to the host's skin tone, she was as fair as her sister! The ONLY time I had the light skinned hate was when I was 14-17, a teen who was a very tall, very skinny, big booty brownskinned chica in a mostly Latino populated high school, and all the boys(Black and Latino) wanted Latina or light skinned Black girls with "good hair",(the stuff that just gets curly or wavy when wet, long, and home grown), filled out and busty, and light colored eyes(hazel, green or blue). However, no matter how jealous I was of my girlfriends who were lighter skinned or Latina, I knew there would be "my time", when I would finally come into my own. I would say that was from age 19 to now, it's my time! As long as that lightskinned woman is as pleasant a human being can be and treats me the same way I treat her, I don't care how light she is. KindaCowboy, as for line dancing, one of the most popular line dances come from clubs that play Black music! Y'all do the "Electic Slide", right? That's a dance that was called "The Bus Stop" in the 70's(and it's still the Electric Slide now)! The "Soul Train" is another form of line dancing from Don Cornelius' show of the same name! And WeAreAllPrejudiced intentions are correct, humans are equipped with prejudice, while it may spin out of control because of myths about others, those prejudices are also an instinct that is a survival skill. I don't care what color the family is who lives next to me, as long as they care about what their house and property looks like, and will look out for their neighborhood and community. The minute someone who won't keep up their house and lawn on the outside, keeps the neighborhood up all night with loud music and noise and drunken friends who have to scream profanities or their wild sex stories every weekend, has an obnoxious car with an purposely obnoxious muffler that has to be revved nonstop at 3 a.m. every morining while playing cheesy dance music, cussing out someone on their cell phone, or yelling for someone inside the house because they need a soda or some water are the neighbors from hell. Hmmm, it seems I've decsribed the college students living two houses down from me who rent housing every year! See, asinine behavior knows no color, socioeconomic bracket or ethnicity!

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  2.   kindacowboy says:
    Posted: 01 May 08

    The origional issuewas disliking white girls that taught hip hop and how that was probably prejudice. Well I'm as white and country as you can get but it doesn't offend me to see black people show up and line dance. Out here in rural Missouri thats what we do and black folks out here are part of that same we.To me its a little silly to worry bout this kind of crap. Are we perfect? absolutely not. Do we have asses of all races? absolutely yes. Just my thoughts

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  3.   weareallprejudiced says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    It's really kind of pathetic to see so many people here mewling about "I dated a white guy" or "I've gone out with several black women" and all of that nonsense. Please pull up a seat to the reality table: We are ALL prejudiced, my dear friends! Whether we prefer a certain color or race of person (which will mostly be a matter of your personal bias - or do you really prefer a dark-skinned Latin American man to a light-skinned Sudannese African man after you find out "how they're labelled"?), we will always have some level of prejudice towards or against someone, somewhere, at some time. Don't believe it? Think of how you treat...mmm, fat people, old people, black/white/brown/yellow people (color, mind you; skin tone does not always equal race placement), homosexual people, religious people, loud people, quiet people, short people, dumb people, mentally challenged people...you get the point. We'll always have some subset of people that we unconsciously or consciously think of as less than us. Anyone on this posting who thinks this is harsh or makes me a bigot is entitled to that opinion. Anyone who thinks this is not TRUE is either a fool at best or a blatant liar at worst. Here's the key, my friends...are you able internally to recognize your prejudices and to master them, to control them? Can you look at a job applicant, a co-worker, a new neighbor, and keep a separate personal opinion from their professional/neighborly worth? I work with people that I naturally like more, and I work with people that I just get the "heebie jeebies" from. I like to assume that it's because I'm a good judge of character. I would be insane if I actually believed that! Fact is, I see my prejudices quite clearly, and have been forced to sit down at times and go over how I treat those I like and dislike. He's a cocky lowlife...but does he do his job well and with integrity? She's a gossipy downer...but does she handle clients with style and verve? My neighbor's an ass...but does he directly interfere with the way I live? Acknowledge the obvious, folks...prejudice is far more than a white, or black, or rich or poor thing. Poor white people can be just as prejudiced as rich black people can. Illegal non-English speaking border crossers from Quebec can be just as prejudiced as a successful Mexican doctoral candidate can be. An Iranian engineer can be just as prejudiced as an Israeli tank driver can. Our goal, then, should not be to eradicate prejudice, because it will never happen regardless of the amount of education and culture people have. Our goal should be the thoughtful, reasoned, lawful decision each of us make to be fair and just to others...not to try to like them. Oh, and by the way...I've dated several white people before, and some black and brown people also. I've been selected for a professional position because of my skin color, but also denied a job opportunity because of it. I grew up with both financial privilege and financial hardship. Everyone but myself drives like an idiot, but then again, I drive like an idiot sometimes. I wish some types of people would fall down a hole and vanish, but I sure as hell don't want to live in a neighborhood where everyone looks and acts just like me. I've stopped to help people who look like someone else, and I've driven right by them. I don't like you, but you're damned good at what you do. You're my pal, but you suck at what you do. I am no more racist or sexist or classist than you are, which means I'm racist, sexist and classist - and yes, I'm talking to YOU. I like to think I'm fair, but I'm not. I don't think I have to work to treat people fairly because I think I'm a good person...but I'm not. It's probably just me...but it's not.

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  4.   cocoadream says:
    Posted: 24 Nov 07

    LOL Anyone that reacts to anyone else, in any way just because of appearances is not only shallow, if the color of the person's skin has anything to do with it, you may just be a racist. Thanks for admitting there are black ones too. No reason any group should pretend they walk on water or are immune to it. We ARE all human first and foremost.

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  5.   wolf37 says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 07

    People need to get over the color barrier and how we as people, adults with children teach and react to our children is as important step. This topic has been spoke on so many times, I have lost count. It boils down to teaching our children that everyone no matter the color of skin the religion they practice, the traditions they uphold are the same. We all are humans with the smae basci needs. I was raised in the south Tennessee to be exact, my father was not openly objective to his children mingling with other races but as for himself he had his own private standards. I as a young man was expected to marry within my own race and as an obediant child I did but the realtionship ended in divorce. I now date exclusivley outside my race. Not because I am prejudice but as my preference. I actually never was attracted to white women but married one because I was by society expected to do so, I have since left my home state, military and life and at the age of 30 finally woke up and decided to follow my own heart and not someoneelses expectation of me. I have dated black women since that time as well as other races and ethnicities but primarily black women. I am drawn to their honesty, their strength, and their personna. I have white women friends but they are just friends and all my friends and family are understanding in my choices of a soul mate. Pejudice? NO Preference? Yes it is my prefences. A man or woman has certain attractive attributes that others are drawn to mine are a complexity of prefernces which I mentioned just a few above. A person has to look inside themselves and to be totally honest with themselves before they can truely be one with themselves in a relationship whether it be in or outside their race. Look for the mate that will be one with your soul.

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  6.   TriChique says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 07

    Well, I for one saw it and see it all over the place. My preference and prejudices were definitely learned. I no longer fight with it as much, as I am more true to myself. In CO - blacks were the minority (when I lived there in the early 80's). My mother came home upset many a nights when hanging with her friends (a mixed group). She would meet a BM, he would be nice to her but flat out tell her he only dated WM. She was mad, angry, the list goes on. She already had her own biases and prejudices and really would come home and nail me with them. While she will now have the selective parental memory and claim to net remember. She came home a few times telling me that I better not bring home some blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy telling me you are going to marry him. Uhhhm I was still busy being the quarterback for our team (the only girl) and boys were only good for playing sports and roughhousing (at that time). She eventually got fed up and moved us to philly. Talk about culture shock. Black people hated everyone including other black people. So I became angry at the world, especially my mother. I was always attracted to (and still am) Asian and Indian men, but according to everyone else they were eh-hem "taking over the neighborhoods". So in my mind they were off limits according to my mothers family and neighbors. I knew the first chance I got I would leave. I was hated because I was smart, yes because I was darker, I "talked white", and didn't act like I was trying to hump everything with a penis when puberty finally hit. So...I was a square, outcast, weird. yep I hated them back - but it was their hearts I hated not their skin. My mother on the other hand got worse, she hated White, Asian,& Indian people even more. And yes she fell into that if a girl was mixed or lighter with curly or straighter hair, she was a pretty little thing. If she was a brown to black baby she was a bit cute, but she would give that fake laugh. She would get mad at me for dating fair-skinned black guys. Me - hey not perfect. I went through my moments of "down-with-whitie" or "down-with-the-man" while in undergrad. As far as the videos, yep got mad they only had lighter-skinned girls on there. Then with true friends who forced me to look inward, I had to examine my own heart to find out what I really stood for, and against. Not what my family wanted me to stand for. That was also because while attending a black college I had it bad for a Red-haired, blue-eyed guy, and felt guilty about it. No we never got together, he was dating some ditz (nope she was black, just she was a ditz because he wasn't with me ;) ) We are all people seeking love and more. Now admittedly - I am NOT going to just up and live near or move into a trailer park, but if you saw a sitter I trusted for my child - you would have swore that was where she lived. But she took care of my daughter very well, and many times my daughter didn't want to come home when it was tim to pick her up. But I also will not on the challenge of a "Cabrini Green" type home-life either. But when seeking a place to live I DO look for a more mixed population. It is funny living on other places, I can somewhat pick out an individuals' ethnicity. My friends would say how do you know, or why does it matter. I jokingly tell others who don't understand, that while living in Philly I learned you must know a person's race and ethnicity so you can properly discriminate against them. Others who live there may disagree, but that IS what I learned living there. My mother has since calmed down. she still has her stories of someone being prejudice. Although admittedly she is NO bed of roses when having to deal with her. We live many miles from her, and probably for the better. Now she just hopes to see me married, "race unimportant" but when the do Right edition of Essence came out, she was quick to call me about it. Will she be ready for the IR-bombshell when the time comes to introduce my fiance? (no I'm not even dating anyone right now - just saying) Maybe she will maybe she won't. But I will have Him ready for her.

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  7.   fala says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 07

    You tell him Coco!!!

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  8.   nicefella115 says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 07

    well put coco.

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  9.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 07

    thats a great attitude tracey!!!!

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  10.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 07

    Glock, you can make any comment you want. People are not always going to agree with what you say. Just remember, if you make a comment on the boards, be prepared to back it up. People don't always agree with some of mine, but I defend my right to say it. Stop being a wuss, and don't make comments if you can't back them up.

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  11.   Tracey says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 07

    I normally stand my ground on those topics it is the only way not to fall into a never ending cycle of racial division.

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  12.   silvertop says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 07

    I agree with the content of what Letica referenced. I think the answer to why we continue to have this great divide, ECONOMICS. The division keeps us at odds which prevents one nation under God. History has shown, the racial divide has been the foundation for an economical driven purpose.

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  13.   Fala says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 07

    Yeah, I agree with everything CocoKisses said. Keep up the good work!

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  14.   Dexter says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 07

    If ever it is proven that there is an after life after death....when one dies, does he or she retain his or her race or do we become reincarnated into some lowly ranked animal to learn about respect and humility for our fellow beings before one reaches Nirvana?

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  15.   Glock says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 07

    After reading several comments, I'm hit in the face with the reality that when discussing race, people either need to totally agree with one group or risk getting personaly attack by some about their views. Race seems to be one thing that people want to talk about but very very carefully. If they make the mistake of being honest, they're attacked. Why is it necessary to do this? Isn't there several sides to this issue? Or is this a way to keep people silent?

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  16.   Rick says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 07

    Very interesting view point. Since I have dated exclusivley african american women for over 15 years i found it to be interesting and enlightening to see someone elses viewpoint on interracial dating and relationships

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  17.   csgill says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 07

    The basic problem with Black people is spiritual, once we get a grasp of this concept then we as black people will understand why physical slavery happened and why mental slavery continues. Whites are not the blame for slavery period; we should look to ourselves for the cause. As stated “For lack of knowledge my people perish”.

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  18.   Fala says:
    Posted: 16 Aug 07

    I love all the discussion and points being made. Keep the dialogue going people.

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  19.   Whyt_b0y says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 07

    call me a racist cuz i don't like white people ,and i would not want to live near white people and i am white. honestly i'd prefere to live next door to black ,latin or asians .while it's true people are people and everybody has red blood coursing through their veins .everybody has a preference .

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  20.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 13 Aug 07

    Very good comments keep them coming.

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  21.   Purdey says:
    Posted: 12 Aug 07

    I cringe when I hear black people say that they prefer to date whites because black men/women are not interested in them because they were dark skinned. Same with those who say they were disliked because they were light skinned. This is a spurious excuse. Redheads are much maligned, especially in their youth, but I don't hear them saying that they prefer to date black people because of this! It's easier to come up with flimsy excuses, than really face what we feel deep inside when it comes to colour. For the white people who complain of black attitudes towards interracial dating, step outside of yourself for a moment, and look at your countries past, present and future. How do black people fit in, then and now? As Africans (yes, we are) we have to know there is more to African history than slavery, destruction and destitution. There are too many simplistic attitudes on this board, and real life is very rarely like that. We live in worldwide societies where the whiter you are, the more you are valued. This has a profound influence on the psyche (why is skin bleaching so popular?) and it is a fundamental reason why black people see 'white' as preferable. People say 'I can't help who I love?' Why is it that some can't help but love only the opposite of themselves?

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  22.   tamara says:
    Posted: 12 Aug 07

    i really dont understand any of the race issues im white and got plenty of black women as freinds my god children are black they know im there god mama and they dont think thats weird .ive never dated a white man dont know why just never have im not predjudice itsjust my preferance.black men always tell me im a white girl wit a black body that dont bother me i love who i am. people are people we all have good and bad things about us and thats not cause of our race thats called personality makeup you are who you are because you chose to be that person not cause your black white,chinese.

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  23.   Lovingstar says:
    Posted: 12 Aug 07

    I want to move to Canada. Learn multiple languages and make friends with people of all races.

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  24.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 07

    Great thread so far....keep the dialogue flowin

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  25.   Tania says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 07

    I agree with you cocokisses, 100%. If a man cannot accept a woman for who she is no matter her color, size, length or texture of hair, then THEY have a problem.

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  26.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 07

    See? This is why we need to keep the conversation going. I agree with Quiet...education is the key. By the way, I am comfortable in my own ebony skin, and I don't need a man-be he Black or White, to hide behind and validate who I am as a Woman! That is why we refer to ourselves as STRONG BLACK WOMEN.

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  27.   tretha says:
    Posted: 07 Aug 07

    some of the stories i have read was so sorry that i had to call on Jesus for help. some of you don't have a clue about your history before blacks came to this country. how about your history after we came here? people racism is about power and control,which blacks have none, no matter who they are. one man wrote he love black women but he is a racist, so did the slave owners so what new. one woman wrote that she holds her purse when blackman walk by her i say shame on you. you beleive what someone told you about blacks that wasn't black how sad. one man said that he was pass over for a job will i say get behind the thousand of blacks that was and still are pass over. one woman don't like black man because of her past. lady i have heard that reason from black man also and i say to you what i have said to them you have been brain washed with lies. so stop using that excuse for a reason could it be that you don't love your own skin color so you hide behind a white man to make you feel good about yourself. people have many one of you every thought why blacks make up 12% of the population and that we are the third largest group and not second. i know i will someone mad but ask me do i give a crap Hell No!!!! i thank every black person should be ashame of themselves because we have let this mess continue for so long that the young ones beleive the mess now. God help black people because we want help ourselves.

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  28.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 07

    Very well stated Mark4584!

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  29.   Meejah says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 07

    I ask everyone to read some of the writings of Tim Wise at timewise.org. This a White man who has very enlightening discussions on race. Such as the myth or reverse discrimination etc.

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  30.   hrshyskiss2 says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 07

    This is the last comment I will write, but I had to responde to Johnw744. I am sorry that you have experienced hatred from black men while dating black women, but it can,t be worse than what black men have and are still experiencing from whites when they see a beautiful blonde haired blue eyed white woman or man with a black person! Espcailly the ones who still feels white women are the best thing since air!! The difference is black men don't leave their white women because they are use to being hated in white America! I would say to you that you are a coward. Obvisouly you didn't care enough or feel that the sistas you dated were worth you having a little trouble over. You did what a lot of white men do when the heat is on and they experience a little discomfort, when they date outside of their race, turn and run! Instead of fighting for these black women and standing up to those men. No matter what you choose to say you only thought of yourself and your own comfort. You were quilty in 60's, but once the racism that your people created came back to haunt you , you blamed the victim! and now your a racist? honey you were a racist all along! I know plenty of beautiful white brothers, that date blacks girl in all black neighborhoods who get it all the time from blackmen, but they think their the black women that they love and want are worth fighting for,and uderstand why black men feel the way they do! Eventually they except it and leave them alone.I think you lust after black women as many white men do, but you certainly don't think they are worth anything.

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  31.   hrshykiss2 says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 07

    This is for John, thankyou, so many people don't listen. This information that you are sharing can be found right on the history channel, lol, but we would rather watch the flavor of love, pittful. If people only knew we all came out of Africa, and migrated and subduded the whole world as commanded by God in genisus!! I remember something, Bono had said when he visited Etheopia a few years ago on Oprah. He said even though these people were begging in the streets, you could tell they were royal, kings and queens, and that in the faces or each African you could see the form of evey man that walked the face of the earth! It kills me when people claim to be christians and don't respect what the bible teaches, we are all from one blood every man on this earth came from 1 DNA, one blood line. Thanks for sharing that history with us!

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  32.   hrshyskiss2 says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 07

    I had to write you again latisha gurl! Ater reading a comment from George! George I'm sorry that you experienced once in your white life what black people are still experciencing 400 hundreds year after slavery!! Remember is was not only that we were slaves. We went through segration also, which was not too long ago. So what you experienced it once! Do you know how many blacks dealt with that and worse. How many got higher and near perfect scores on applications, and had to work three times harder to get what was handed to whites for centuries in this country and abroad! What you experienced in my opinion was not reverse racism! but America trying to give back what it denied so many blacks in this country based solely on race. You could have gone anywhere else and got a job in this country because you are white still, but soon as you get a minut small taste of what whites have been doing to blacks and still are you cry reverse racism. For your information, whites are still denying blacks equal pay, and job oppertunities based on their race, and keeping the white man ahead at all costs. I'm sorry that you experienced what you did in New Orleans, but you were facing years of the results of what your own people created. It's funny how whites think we need to just get over it. Did they just get over the hollacosts. No we here about that every five seconds. No race was treated as horrible as African Americans in this country, no race!! You could not even imagine it! While I respect your effort to change the world through kindness and charity! Try to understand why some blacks act the way they do!

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  33.   hrshykiss2 says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 07

    Latisha, you are so right! It seems some blacks can't admitt we don't like all of our own kind.I wholed my hangbad when I pass some brothes, please!! My perference for latino, and white men is because that's who I am attracted to. Black men still give me looks when they see me wholding hands with a brother from another mutha!! lol Do I care, no! I love my people and I think some black men are the most wonderful men out here. They have gone through hell and back and still get up and fight that class cieling everyday, but I am just not attracted to them as far as a intiment relationship. If truth be told maybe it has a tiny bit to do with the rejection I got from black men when I was younger. Being a child of the 70's and 80's the light bright danm near white sistas got all the brothers. Even though I was browned skinned and lovely I would often get passed over for my lighter skinned friends. So I started liking who liked me,and it's been history ever since! I agree with you that some blacks keep living in our past. Making it an excuse for anything they say and do. It is not! I like who I like and still love me and my race! I will not spend the rest of my life trying to please bitter black folks who base their whole life on their skin color and race! Whateva

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  34.   Saudra says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 07

    I'll be frank in my answer to why I choose to date black men. My whole childhood is riddled with sexual abuse, physical violence, and emotional abuse. Example: we're talking about crawling out a bedroom window to go next door the neighbors to call the police cause my step dad is beating my mom (I was 5yrs old, but it started when I was 4yrs old). My positive role models were black men, and I am sure that what changed what was mirrored to me was due to those men. I do understand it's those particular men who deserve the bad rap and not all white men. I find black men sexy, love any skin color, just feel at home, and I find I feel that way around white men too, two of my marriages were to white men. I've given them a fair chance, I am due to marry a beautiful black man next year. I plan on staying married this time. I don't care to analyze every single thought and feeling I have, I am who I am, welcome anyone if any race, afterall almost every single race is in my family. So I have a family (from marriages, and children my siblings had) a multicultural family, and we're ok with anyone. I just want to love who I love, and not have to explain to the world why all the time, I live in America where I can choose who I loved based on my spiritual, and emotional things in common and most important to me, what I believe in spiritually with my partner. I wish all the best. ......

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  35.   Mark4584 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 07

    The problem with all this is everyone looks at it as one dimension... The dimension being race... You can't describe people of any kind on one dimension... why? because they are people... Everyone grows up in different classes of society, different societies, different traumas, different destinies both controllable and uncontrollable, things happen at different ages, different intelligent levels all happening at the same time... plus so much more than I could possibly list... YES most people follow and therefore in groups tend to act similar, but really when they are away from pressured and alone you see they are all very different and the same... So take them one at a time and be patient and understanding and soon they too will see that it's all not about race but about being human...sounds cliche' but as a person who grew up as a white man but has been submerged in a lot of different cultures and races I can tell you as on a whole we all got problems and we all are the same as much as you think we are different... and it is silly to think of anyone as just a color or shade and only a fool misses the fact that they are dealing with a human...and we are too complex to narrow us down to a color...

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  36.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 01 Aug 07

    If God had meant for us to be separate we would be sexually incompatible. Plenty of examples of this in the natural world. Too bad all this brainpower, or lack thereof, gets in the way.

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  37.   JustBelieve says:
    Posted: 01 Aug 07

    Your article is right on time. I still get mostly men challenging on my opinion about the category of Black/African descent and Black/Non-African Descent. Most negative comments have come from White men. I have had only one Black person a female, challenge me. For me, I am able to move forward because I honor my Black ancestors, which is my preference. I have friends of many ethnic groups, which has nothing to do with my opinion. I actually had a guy from this site not communicate with me because, he was dwelling to much on my comments about recognizing my heritage. What an immature person. Anyway, yes race is still a hot topic.

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  38.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 01 Aug 07

    As my daughter said, we are all members of the only race that matters...THE HUMAN RACE!

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  39.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 31 Jul 07

    AMEN Thunder.Thanks for the great comment.

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  40.   thunder says:
    Posted: 31 Jul 07

    the bottom line people is this, GOD see us in without color, cause HE looks on the heart, and that is what we need to do!!!! look at the person's heart!! i know that's hard, but i'm learning it can be done!!!

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  41.   Fala says:
    Posted: 31 Jul 07

    Can't we all just get along? Such simple words, but such a difficult thing to achieve.

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  42.   QuietSeeker says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    Education, education, education. We will get there - mainly by more exposure.

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  43.   tigerlilies says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    I agree with Jabali. We are humans and it's time to look at it that way. It's not like we are different species, just different outside. I think everyone prejudges, whether it's color of the skin, how one acts, what they wear or even their handicaps. It's hard not to, we're only human. The question is, are you going to let it hold you back or do something to overcome it? That's what really matters.

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  44.   Mocheney says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    I agree with John (30th of July) post. Genetically we are all the same aside from some differences in the code for hair type, skin color, eye color, and so forth. We all came from one continent which after 100 of thousands of years split apart and every adapted to the area of the earth they ended up on. Our physical appearance is only adaptation made thousands of years ago to help us survive but everything else is made the same. So, its kinda sad we equate physical appearances with power when on the inside we are all the same.

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  45.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    John, so sorry that it happened to you. I can say that I do find it interesting that Black men hate to see us with men of another race, but yet as soon as they get any kind of success, they want a trophy white woman on their arm. Interracial dating is much more prevalent now, so follow your heart. I wish you well in your search to find your someone special!

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  46.   Legs34 says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    John...I am sorry you had to endure the things you have, but I think that you shouldn't have allowed those folks to turn you into a racist. I have been blessed to not endure that as of yet, can never say it won't happen to me or ever will...white, black, hispanic...no one should be harmed because they choose to love outside their race.

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  47.   John says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    The greatest reason we don't escape AMERICAN racism is because, as Americans, we don't embrace reality. We continue to live in the world of mythology. Reality (and every scientist from here to Jerusalem to Peking, China will openly tell the same thing) says that, scientifically, there is only one single race. Oprah Winfrey can be more related to Paris Hilton than any other person on earth. It's already been proven that a woman that's never left Poland can be more related to an American Indian than most (IF NOT ALL) Caucasian people in the United States. Americans live in denial. We denied the fact that Iraq was not the cause of 9/11. Likewise, we deny the fact that race is a myth. White people deny this. Black people deny this. What we fail to realize is that there never were any black people or white people. It's an old lie that used to separate people hundreds of years ago. DNA wise...paternity test wise...Africans, Europeans, Asians and there DNA cousins (American Indians) are all one family that left Africa. The only reason we look different after leaving Africa is because of the sun and our different diets. Stupidity on this subject is not uniquely an American problem. But, it's a bigger problem for America because of we don't solve it, we will continue to lose our ability to compete in the global marketplace (i.e., India and China are starting to kick our arses economically because we are not working together to compete).

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  48.   hiimsteph says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    hey yall this was quite a stimualating article. And I totally agree with cocokisses.

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  49.   MoCheney says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    I think your article was well written. Being a light skinned black women I understand the issue of light vs. dark skin. It was hard growing up and being picked on and hated by other black girls because I was light skinned with natural long hair. We as black people complain all the time about white, asian, arab, etc. discriminating against us but sometimes we discriminated against each other. Also being a black women that date white men I know how the race thing can be. I think the world would be much better if God made us all colored blind to skin tones that way no one would be better than another person because of their skin. You are definantly right that the race issue is big topic and some people are very touchy about talking about it in public. But you know no matter how hard we try it'll always be that way and deep down inside we are all a little prejudice in a way...we discriminate against one another in some form or fashion rather its based on race, wealth, educational level, etc. I think thats is one thing that will never change. So, its kinda like we have to just get over it and move on and try individually to be different from the rest.

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  50.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 07

    Well said Cocokisses.

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