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Dating in your prime… is love better second or third time around?

Posted by James, 15 Mar

Dating after divorce? Trying to find love once again? Well this is something every divorcee dreads. Having been eternally single in your 30s or 40s is one thing but jumping back into the dating game after having been to the altar is something else. Most of us have bumped into the divorce statistics – 50% of the first marriages end up in divorce! How about the second time? Can you do it right?

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Officially divorced and single once again… at 30 or 40. You failed once and now you are back again in the dating field. Time (or should I say age) isn’t on your side. The days of playing around are over. No more wasting time on dead-end relationships. The first instinct usually is to stay away from anyone who reminds you of your ex, well don’t stress over it. By the same token, don't make it a point to find someone who's the exact opposite either.

First of all, get your dating muscle in shape. On the other hand there is no need to rush into a new relationship and do not let others push you into dating prematurely. The last thing you want to do is start the same mistake all over again. Make sure it feels right. And if you are dating to wage revenge on your ex then you are not ready yet.

Once you are ready, it dawns on you… the dating field isn’t what it used to be anymore. It’s been a long time since you were around. Don’t sweat it. Look at it as the learning experience that will thrust you back into the game.

Remember that no matter how willing you are to jump back into the waters, only time will tell how ready you really are. Don’t throw your self directly into the lion's den by going out to bars and clubs to meet women or men. To succeed in those kinds of environments, you really have to be on your game, and I think it would just be too awkward and stressful for you.

And if you can’t hack that, then online dating would be perfect for you. It’s easy, convenient and you will have total control over when you want to meet the person you are dating. You can check out hundreds of potential candidates in the comfort of your home. And PLEASE, don’t whine about your ex when you on a date. Doing this only makes you look like a resentful loser who doesn't know how to have a good relationship.

Take the time to do things right -- at the right time -- and you won't have to do them over and over again. No matter how willing you are to jump back into the waters, only time will tell how ready you really are. Remember that you are the most important thing in your life. Always make sure that you're happy with your love life, no matter how content your better half might be.

Tags: divorce, dating in your prime

6 responses to "Dating in your prime… is love better second or third time around?"

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fkoi says:

Posted: 23 Feb 10

I've found that the heartbreak isn't as intense but the love is. That's makes it all easier.

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Member says:

Posted: 13 Mar 09

I usually dont post in Blogs but your blog forced me to, good work.. beautiful

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dark1ande says:

Posted: 12 Nov 07

Being 46,divorced and with a toddler makes dating tricky . I do have to laugh at how fast 40 something men run when they discover you have a toddler at home. On the up side it saves a lot of time.

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Leon says:

Posted: 22 Jun 07

Being a man 67 years. old, There are many advantages and disadvantages in dating later in life. I function more in the range of a 42 year old. in style and personality. The problem is finding someone that match your youthful style. Certainlty, you wouldn't be interested in someone with a stick in their hand. So you find yourself in the company of women much younger than you. Which sometime can present other age challenges. But the most important challenge we bring to a relationship at that age is "Baggage" And whether we want to believe it or not, We all have some at that age. Life will bring you baggage, You don't have to look for it. The key is to take it slow, and learn as much as you can about the person of choice. If you both can unpack your luggage, and can live with it. You can have a good shot at "Better The Second Time Around" But finding that special person, can be like trying to find a Polar Bear in the snow. LOL ... My $00.02

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Debbie says:

Posted: 21 Mar 07

I think the second or third time around you be more careful and you do not settle for less. I am now looking for more of a mature man, who know what he wants, I also learn that maturity doesn't comes with age, it is a growing process that a person have to develop. It all about getting to know and love ones and seeking the other half with honesty and respect.

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Fala says:

Posted: 17 Mar 07

Being older and wiser when you date can't hurt!

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