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Is Your Relationship a Job or a Career?

Posted by Leticia, 15 Oct

Having a great relationship requires more than a 9-5!

We hear the statistics everywhere...50% of marriages end in divorce. What's going on with the other 50%? There are tons of resources available to get into a relationship, but very few to keeps us happy in them. What can we do avoid being another statistic? How can we treat our relationships like a "career choice" and not a "dead-end job"?

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It astonishes me to think about all the methods, devices, programs, games and websites that have been created (including this one), to get people together...everything from blind dating to speed dating. What do we have to strengthen those relationships, to keep them strong and growing? Now, I hope that no one said Dr. Phil. By the time you get to the "experts" there's already a problem in the relationship.

As I see it, too many of us are treating our relationships like our jobs, instead of like a career "choice". Think about it; we look in the paper, do a search on-line or hear about a "prospect" from a friend. We fix up our resumes/ourselves, to look a certain way to get the attention of the "prospect" and we put it out there. Then we wait!

Now, some of us only go after one "prospect". Others put out multiple fielders to increase our chances of finding the "right one". Then, there's the first meeting. We put on our best clothes, face and behavior hoping to make a lasting impression. We're just trying to get our foot in the door.

Bingo, we're in! Now what? After the initial honeymoon stage, our appearance goes from putting our best foot forward to thinking out loud, "shoot, they better be happy I'm wearing shoes"!

We start living paycheck to paycheck, day to day, and just waiting for the next "big or best thing" to come along. Forgetting the reason why we took on the responsibility in the first place. You know people that go from job to job, relationship to relationship? Or people that stay at a job/with someone, that (they obviously don't enjoy), for so long, because it's easier than looking for something else?

How should it be? Well, in Leticia's utopia, we still find the "prospect" the same way, by referrals, research and dumb luck. However, we must do our homework our due diligence. We put all the effort at the front end (to get in the door) and at the back end (to get out). Wrong! We do very little in the middle. Much like we would do with our career (that we love), we must take refresher courses, invest in the latest technology to continue to stimulate our minds, bodies and spirits. Most importantly, we must continue to communicate.

At work, there are daily memos and progress reports to tell us about our challenging areas and things that need improvement. We get incentives and bonuses. Not just "annual reviews".

What do you think about yearly relationship evaluations and self evaluations? This could be a way of keeping track of our goals and aspirations individually and as a couple. Even though men and women are from the same planet, we do think and process things differently. We need to keep talk, talk, talk to each other and also, don't forget to shut up and really listen too!

Perhaps the problem with relationships today is that too many of us are treating them like jobs that we work instead of businesses that we own??!!

This is Leticia...gotta go to work...I love my job!

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Responses to "Is Your Relationship a Job or a Career?"

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  1.   texasbest says:
    Posted: 06 Feb 07

    Work hard get rewards.

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  2.   gms77 says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 07

    This is a good article we all need guidance and advice

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  3.   Jabali says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 06

    I think this is a great article. Must read as far as I am concerned. There is no greater failure than not getting to the end of your goal and a split-up is the loudest expression of not getting there. We all know this.

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  4.   anonymous says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 06

    I think this site is too serious at times, we needed lighter articles.

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  5.   auroraxxx says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 06

    P.S my mum is due for long service leave after 50 years of marriage...

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  6.   auroraxxx says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 06

    maybe we have too many options nowdays....I wonder how people my parents /grandparents ages ever got together, stayed together, worked and played together without it being like a job or a career.......Maybe the oldies had it all worked out.......myself is on a long lunch break at the moment ehehheheheeh...I may go and ask my mum the trade secrets...:D

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  7.   sweetest1 says:
    Posted: 17 Dec 06

    Finally got a job... now I need my man...LOL

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  8.   turbogirl says:
    Posted: 12 Dec 06

    When you love someone, it should be the easiest thing to do, and shouldn't be either a job or career!

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  9.   marquez097 says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 06

    If you are married it should be a blessing...not something that sounds like a burden.

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  10.   Frenchie83 says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 06

    I never thought about it this way. We love to do career development at our day jobs, but we don't think about things that will help make our relationships stronger until there are problems. Great article!

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  11.   gms77 says:
    Posted: 08 Dec 06

    It not a job to love its a privelege...

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  12.   Joe says:
    Posted: 08 Dec 06

    Right on the money.

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  13.   Segue007 says:
    Posted: 26 Nov 06

    If you are married it should be your career. If you are dating looking to get married then it should be more like a job.

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  14.   TheDude says:
    Posted: 26 Nov 06

    The saying "Live to work not work to live" can't hold for your love life. Love and family have to take precedence in every you do, and it actually makes you a better worker in my opinion.

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  15.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 24 Nov 06

    U get out what u put in.

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  16.   romeoluvs says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 06

    Relationship is a passionate affair, just like love. So live it. Don't be career minded or a workoholic when it comes to relationship.

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  17.   Candy40dd says:
    Posted: 21 Nov 06

    it really is work.... If you want to come on top at the end, work on it... :)

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  18.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 06

    Relationship is give, take and give back.Afterall when all is said done more will be done than said.

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  19.   Fala says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 06

    Life would be so much easier if men and women came with instruction manuals.

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  20.   Gixxergyrl says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 06

    Relationships take work. Depending on your goal, a relationship can be considered a job or a career. If your goal is long term then it is a career otherwise it's just a job. I'm a firm believer that you get what you give. If you perform your job to the best of your ability, then your bound to get a promotion, if you don't perform you'll be fired. Same goes for relationships.

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  21.   Tony says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 06

    Good stuff... thanks!

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  22.   krockwyo says:
    Posted: 18 Nov 06

    Actually maybe we should look at our relationships as a job or career since that is where we tend to spend most of our time. If we put as much into a relationship as we did our careers then maybe both would be successful

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  23.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 17 Nov 06

    I love the comments...you guys are funny!

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  24.   Candy says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 06

    I'm thinking something more of "Over Time" is needed for success Lol

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  25.   Pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 06

    I don't know whether to claim retirement or disability...

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  26.   krockwyo says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 06

    a relationship should be personal not business

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  27.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 06

    its a job, turning into a career.

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  28.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 06

    Dang! my last relationship felt like a job. Had to resign, lol. Great article

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  29.   gms77 says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 06

    its a 100% thing and lots of communication

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  30.   lynne says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 06

    great article but all relationships require work. all the effoerts you put in to get that relationship started you need ti keep it going.I think that where people tend to fail.

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  31.   yoby says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 06

    by love I love making extra times!!!!!!

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  32.   justknowingu says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 06

    ....work, career, overtime...i would need lots of kisses--giving and receiving!!

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  33.   JADE74 says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 06

    All relationships in any form requires work.The same as your career, work is required.

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  34.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 06

    All relationships need time and effort from both partners.

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  35.   Tracy says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 06

    I think it is great that this site really works.

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  36.   gms77 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 06

    Hey its work the work-LIFETIME love!!

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  37.   texasbest says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 06

    Whatever the case is I always like to work for someting.

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  38.   janine says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 06

    I agree with the article, sometimes people make the mistakes of sleeping with their mates before they really get to know one another. Then the relationship is based on just that sex. it becomes a job because they dont really now eachother.

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  39.   Pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 06

    My non existent relationship is like a job in that I need to set up some interviews and I mean like yesterday.

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  40.   lizzy2005 says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 06

    All relationships need to be worked on to keep them healthy.

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  41.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 06

    Its one job i cant wait to take!!

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  42.   GOTGAME says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 06

    RELATIONSHIPS: they're not just a job, they're an adventure. And adventures require a lot of planning and work. Therefore, GAME suggests there are 2 pre-requisites for a successful relationship: (1) Plan your work (2) Work your plan

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  43.   Candy40dd says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 06

    Work indeed, more like over time... Great Article

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  44.   Coco says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 06

    I agree...If I gotta work this hard it had better be more playing than working!

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  45.   Candy40dd says:
    Posted: 04 Nov 06

    WoW, relationships being compared to jobs!! Relationships might feel like your doing over 40 hours at times, but it makes sense.. We work extra hard at what we want in life, so why not put at much time in effort as if it was work?? This might help out alot of broken relationships.

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  46.   coco says:
    Posted: 04 Nov 06

    Relationship with no work wont work.

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  47.   Kimmee says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 06

    Its true - we put so much effort and energy into school, work and even play. However, we expect relationships to automatically work out without any effort or time. Another insightful article.

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  48.   justknowingu says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 06

    very good article--I will pass it on!!

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  49.   nicefella115 says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 06

    if you really think about it, it is work.

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  50.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 06

    know matter what you do in this world know a days is work!!!!

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