Some say it’s immoral to have sex on the first date; others say it drives away ‘relationship material’. Well, I don’t plan on going down that road. Instead, I will give you one more reason to avoid first date sex – SEX is that reason.
Apparently, holding out on the magic – if only for one night (and subsequent dates if you can) will improve your sex life with your date in future. When a sexual barrier is in place, it makes a couple explore the other available possibilities … the wonder of kissing, finger tracing and teasing … Its like you train to become better kissers, caressers because you end up exploring and discovering. Such are the little luscious details that get rushed over when a couple is anxious to ‘get it on’.
Ladies (and gents 
), the issue here isn’t just about the sex, it’s also about how you break the ‘bad’ no-sex-today news to your date. Don’t make him feel there is no way in hell he is getting in your pants. Instead, make him take it as a challenge … make him want to get you to want him … that will bring out the best lover out of him. He will put more effort and creativity into to it.
And if someone can’t wait, help them to the door. It probably would have been a hit-and-run thing for them. And if you end up going back at your NO SEX words later on, trust me, the sex and the date in general will benefit from those hours of deferral you managed to muster.
Do you believe avoiding first-date sex pays dividends down the line?
Ok this subject, I need to comment on. This what gets me in trouble the most sex right away. I date some my thing is the whole the date is going on Im plottin to get them in the sack. Then once I do and get my instant gratification I call it a day. The bad thing is the one I slept with. She is left with what just happen. Then she wants to talk about it , then she wants to go on another date. This sucks cuz in my mind it was a hookup and in her mind it was something more.
I hurt many young women by doing this in the past.
So sex on the first date HELL NAW!!!!
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Sex on the first date is a no no, unless before hand you know it’s just a booty call. But if you are in hopes of having something meaningful somewhere down the road simply wait.
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I havent had first date. Sex is too serious to indugle in it with someone u dont know. U are giving a part of yourself to another that u cant get back. Think about it people!
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Lets just break this down….
“The Brain” tells our body if we are hot, cold or in pain. So for me if my mind is not stimulated nothing will happen. Mind stimulation is foreplay..Sex on the first date nope..This is where romance starts but that just me.. Everyone on this site is grown its a personal preference. I don’t think that if you are in the throws of passion on your first date, that the minute you disagree you use it to hurt your partner..
Just a thought…
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Why should first date sex be avoided?
Well, let me answer this in a constructive way and referring to Dating Sites, in general. It is the same as what I call “Kid In A Candy Store Syndrome.” This can happen to men and women, alike. There are so many people online, contacting each other and in some instances “contracting,” each other that one ends up looking like the kid in the middle of the floor with a plethera of countless, half-opened candies piled all around him. Each one is half-opened but never really tasted.
The sad thing about dating sites (and I refer to something another very intelligent individual wrote on a blog) is that many people are “experimenting,” with all the little candies because they aren’t really sure about EXACTLY what they want.
So where does that kid go from there? He (or she) opens another piece of candy; tries it out–not getting the full flavor of what he is really looking for and then OH THEN he sees yet ANOTHER tempting piece of candy and the kid wishes to try it out. The kid almost always ends up sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by “picked-over,” candies and the PRIZE is still right in front of him–only he cannot see it because it has become BURIED in the vast piles of half-opened candies.
Some of you are correct. There really IS quite a bit of competition here. The secret to discover is how to find a man or woman, keep that person interested and win his or her heart into a state of devotion.
Some people are just not looking for this and it reeks havoc among those of us who are genuine and serious.
So. Should we all go running around having sex on the first date? Absolutely NOT. I sure don’t want a disease and I don’t want to be placed about like a pinched piece of candy, half-opened and tossed aside for something that looked sweeter.
Some people are just not educated now-of-days, regarding what is truly great in this world.
SEX is just SEX when you move from one to the other–just having a lot of sex. GREAT SEX is when you invest time into the intimacy and practice TOGETHER, strengthening your methods to the point of EXPLOSIVE AND WONDROUS LOVEMAKING.
Flinting around from one partner to the next is just lackadaisical and ignorant. To become truly wonderful at something it takes practice, dedication and devotion.
Let’s all get back to rediscovering where real value lies and open the best piece of candy, savor the aroma, get to know ourselves and what our favorite flavor is and GO FOR IT. Otherwise, we may eventually smother ourselves in the sea of indecisiveness and never find the true prize.
If you “think,” you have found the right one you are probably correct. Turn away from the other temptations so you don’t end up ruining candy for others.
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I agree with this comment even if the rationale is different than mine to some degree.:-) And I agree with what she said especially about people not being educated nowadays and what she said about sex.
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I agree with this comment even if the rationale is different than mine to some degree.:-) And I agree with what she said especially about people not being educated nowadays and what she said about sex.
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1 Corinthians 6:9-10 warns us, “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God.”
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I don’t know how to edit these comments so I will add this:
I meant “so you don’t end up ruining candy for others AND MISSING THE PRIZE YOU WERE ORIGINALLY LOOKING FOR.”
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whatever most of you going on and on about something that everybody does wheather it may be right or wrong. you cant judge someone for doing what they want as grown ppl. some of you say you dont like sex on the first date but that doesnt mean youve never done it before!
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I have never done it before and I know plenty of people who haven’t done it before. So I would be careful about assuming that many people have done that on the first date. Maybe within a few dates(which I still haven’t done) but not on the first date. Just something to be cautious about when making generalizations.
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I have never done it before and I know plenty of people who haven’t done it before. So I would be careful about assuming that many people have done that on the first date. Maybe within a few dates(which I still haven’t done) but not on the first date. Just something to be cautious about when making generalizations.
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I have never done it before and I know plenty of people who haven’t done it before. So I would be careful about assuming that many people have done that on the first date. Maybe within a few dates(which I still haven’t done) but not on the first date. Just something to be cautious about when making generalizations.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
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Hell, I don’t believe in sex before marriage let alone on the first date. I am guilty of having sex with my fiancee who cheated on me and then dumped me after five years of being engaged but I still regret that and think friendship and compatibility is the most important thing in a relationship and sex clouds proper judgment. And why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? That is why I became a marriage counselor to try to do premarital counseling to make sure couples don’t base their relationship on falsehoods and aren’t clouded by their lust for each other. Friendship and compatibility first and then show you commitment to that one person through marriage and then sex will be fantastic. The more you have sex outside of marriage, the more baggage you carry into future relationships and eventually your marriage if you ever do decide to get married and some baggage all the marriage counseling in the world can’t fix. And sexual incompatibility is a myth. People rationalize sex before marriage because “they have to see if they are sexually compatible.” Well that is one thing that marriage counseling can always fix since sex is the easiest part of the marriage. Staying faithful and interested in just each other for a life time and sharing each other’s interests and growing together in wisdom and intimacy is the hard part.
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Hell, I don’t believe in sex before marriage let alone on the first date. I am guilty of having sex with my fiancee who cheated on me and then dumped me after five years of being engaged but I still regret that and think friendship and compatibility is the most important thing in a relationship and sex clouds proper judgment. And why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? That is why I became a marriage counselor to try to do premarital counseling to make sure couples don’t base their relationship on falsehoods and aren’t clouded by their lust for each other. Friendship and compatibility first and then show you commitment to that one person through marriage and then sex will be fantastic. The more you have sex outside of marriage, the more baggage you carry into future relationships and eventually your marriage if you ever do decide to get married and some baggage all the marriage counseling in the world can’t fix. And sexual incompatibility is a myth. People rationalize sex before marriage because “they have to see if they are sexually compatible.” Well that is one thing that marriage counseling can always fix since sex is the easiest part of the marriage. Staying faithful and interested in just each other for a life time and sharing each other’s interests and growing together in wisdom and intimacy is the hard part.
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Hell, I don’t believe in sex before marriage let alone on the first date. I am guilty of having sex with my fiancee who cheated on me and then dumped me after five years of being engaged but I still regret that and think friendship and compatibility is the most important thing in a relationship and sex clouds proper judgment. And why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? That is why I became a marriage counselor to try to do premarital counseling to make sure couples don’t base their relationship on falsehoods and aren’t clouded by their lust for each other. Friendship and compatibility first and then show you commitment to that one person through marriage and then sex will be fantastic. The more you have sex outside of marriage, the more baggage you carry into future relationships and eventually your marriage if you ever do decide to get married and some baggage all the marriage counseling in the world can’t fix. And sexual incompatibility is a myth. People rationalize sex before marriage because “they have to see if they are sexually compatible.” Well that is one thing that marriage counseling can always fix since sex is the easiest part of the marriage. Staying faithful and interested in just each other for a life time and sharing each other’s interests and growing together in wisdom and intimacy is the hard part.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
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