When online dating success is a problem

Posted by James, 11 Dec

Take this case:

“Believe me, I’m not a bad looker (my picture is posted); I’m educated; and I like to do things… but for me it’s (online dating) just not working…᾿

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Then there is this:

“Three months ago, I joined an online dating service. I’ve been getting a great response — too great. I’m getting mixed up about who is who….᾿

The above are two opposing complaints about online dating. Some people why they aren't to getting a positive response to their profiles, whilst others, too many responses become a problem because you have too many to choose from.

Too many interests in one's profile may be a problem in that while deciding to follow up on some of the members who have shown interest in you, sometimes they are just dead ends and you may have been ignoring the one that may actually have developed to meaningful relationship.

How does one handle the too-much-too-fast situation?

Tags: online dating problems

6 responses to "When online dating success is a problem"

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  1.   bdsista says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 10

    I am guilty of lurking and reaching out and withdrawing at times. But having done this a long time (met 1st husband online), I think its important to have a clear sense of what you really want in a person. Have an idea of how you classify people, are some going to be friends, acquaintances, business connections (you meet these online as well) or something more serious. I sometimes print out the profiles of people I am interested in and take notes when I talk to them so I don't get confused. I also like to move to live phone conversations quickly. You can tell a lot about what you like by how someone talks to you. Then sort and prioritize (yes, I know it sounds like work) and talk and meet the people you feel most comfortable with. Then take it from there. I can tell you that I am a really busy person, so I really appreciate it when the man if I give him my number takes the lead in setting up the meeting. If I have to keep calling you, then I figure there is an issue with initiative. I am a go-getter and like men with similar energy. But if you have a lot of responses, take your time and sort. If you don't have much, then rethink your profile, something about it is turning men off. I had a guy ask me about his and he had some contradictory comments and statements which I told him would turn women off. He didn't realize that and removed them and hopefully is having better luck. But we also talked about making sure that you put on your profile what you really want. Don't say you like independent woman and then say you want someone to cook and clean and stay home and have 12 kids. Doesn't make sense. Good topic, can't wait to see what others say.

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  2.   Mrdriven says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 10

    Wow I love this one. I feel as though what's meant to be will be. If the connection was that strong it will be hard to lose in all the other messages. No one truly wants to have to resort to online dating so if it's taking place, then it will be taken seriously. The good always prevails haha. Now let me get back to my message lol.

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  3.   DebiCee68 says:
    Posted: 25 Jan 09

    I think finding the right person to date online takes a matter of time and intuition. Also, there are so many false representations....no wonder online dating can be difficult.

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  4.   sensual777 says:
    Posted: 31 Jul 08

    I have the same problem as described above. I guess its good to forget about your account for a while, then look at it again and let your gut feeling tell you who you would like to date.

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  5.   snehaseeli says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 08

    I was hoping someone had an answer out there for me.

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  6.   Japio says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 07

    I hope we can become pen pals. I like you as far I have seen you

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