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Online dating profile photos – The don’ts

Posted by James, 17 Apr

Having been to various online dating sites, I think there are a few things I have learned by scanning through hundreds of profiles of eligible spinsters … and bachelors (not that am into guys but you know, some things are usually so off that you cant help browsing through the profile just to understand why those things are that off. Tell me again why I am explaining myself?)

Guys, if you’re planning on plunging into the online dating pool, here are some tips to keep in mind when constructing your profile. Trust me.

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Now why would one have pictures that are virtually some slide show of past lovers? Much as there is nothing wrong with having pictures you have taken with members of the opposite sex, it kinda strikes me the wrong way as I scroll through the pics of a prospective beau. Could be just me but I think its one major turn off.

And while on that topic, please don’t upload dozens of pics of you with all your friends or you in groups of people. Who are we selling here? You or your gang? I mean, who the heck am I looking for?

So you love your beer or vodka or whatever alcoholic beverage that makes you tick. Do all of your photos have to be of the bar scene? If you must, do not put up more than one photo of you holding an alcoholic beverage. Yes, there might be that one picture that your friend took of you last year at that party holding a Bud Light bottle in it … which is not bad. But then when I click “next᾿ and I see a photo of you tapping a keg, followed by one of you and your friends drowning shot glasses in a toast. Will I be wrong to assume that drinking is your profession? Or the only way you know how to have fun?

Oh! One more thing … don’t put up pictures of you posing with some celeb .. or those of far-off places you’ve traveled – especially if you not in those photos themselves. I mean why would you put up photos of the pyramids of Egypt? That ain’t gonna woo nobody. I know I am stepping on some toes but honestly, these travel pics almost look like a desperate move to me.

Am I being overly picky … going through profiles like I would look over resumes … scanning quickly for a few things: proper grammar, sarcasm and intelligent humor? Well thousands of other people are doing the same. This may sound b**chy but it’s the truth.

... And you are welcome. Glad I could help. ;-)

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19 responses to "Online dating profile photos – The don’ts"

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  1.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 27 Feb 10

    I agree with this article too (I know, what are the chances). And SoFlaDiva, Amen to your whole post.

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  2.   twig93 says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 10

    Most of what this guy said was spot on, but two things stood out to me: 1) thanks bachata for bringing up the "spinsters" bit. I mean I guess inasmuch as the word spinster means unmarried woman... then yes, technically we are. But c'mon - everyone knows it's not a nice word and if you're trying to attract one... you shouldn't use it. (You don't see people on an interracial dating site using racial slurs do you? So what's with using a loaded word like spinster?) 2) I enjoy seeing the travel pics - so long as the guy is actually in them. It's one thing to say "I enjoy traveling", it's another thing to say "here's a picture of me on the Great Wall of China". That let's me know that 'hey - this guy really DOES like to travel!' But if the guy's not in the pic then there's not much point. I can use Google if I'm that interested in seeing a picture of the Great Wall.

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  3.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    LOL This author must be psychic. I have had that picture of the guy drinking sent to me before.(LOL) I was turned off. I don't mind a little social drinking but I don't want a picture of the guy doing it.

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  4.   hiddengem says:
    Posted: 13 May 09

    LMAO!!! Ahhh I know what you mean! I was looking at this guys profile and he had one unclear photo of himself but he had dozens of photos where it was like some tropical place and no more pixs of him. I was like what is going on here?!?! Than another guy had a picture of a guy as the main photo an the other photos where of three different guys. I'm like which one are you and he couldn't understand why I was not interested....I was like what is this a guessing game... guess which one I am!? Lol! And yes the shirtless and pix with unidentified women are not cute.

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  5.   Fire321 says:
    Posted: 02 May 09

    My issue with the photos are the ones that look like they are taken professionally and the ones where you can't really tell what the person looks like (very small photo, blurry or something blocking their faces...ugh!). I want to see what you look like on an average day. What's up with the photos of celebrities? Guys, please stop with the shirtless pics...that is not sexy! I personally find it more appealing when there is a sense of mystery left to you. The pictures with other women is a major turnoff.

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  6.   Kays1968 says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 09

    Don't post a photo that you took while in high school when your profile says you are 53.people would like to see what you look like before they contact you. I am 40 and would not like to chat with a 53 yr old man trapped in a 20 yr old's body.

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  7.   bachata says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 08

    Eligible spinsters? Hopefully that was said with your tongue planted firmly in your cheek.

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  8.   cocobaker813 says:
    Posted: 07 Oct 08

    My beef is definitely with photos with groups of people in them. I have great photos of me with family members or friends, but I do the courtesy thing by cropping them out if I'm posting them somewhere. Unless I get their permission, I don't show their image. I have no problem with photos the ex in them, but again, crop it out! It drives me batty to see men who have photos with other women and they're hugging. Is she an ex? Your sister or cousin? Am I supposed to desire you more since you show yourself hugged up on another woman? Doesn't work with me! And don't EVEN get me started on the outdated photos! When the photo is older than 2 years, it's really annoying. I met a guy who posted his modeling portfolio photos, but they were more than 15 years old! He still looked good, but he was in his early middle 20's when they were shot. He was nearly 40 at the time we met! The far away, blurry photo is another peeve. What is that person hiding? There is a lid for every pot, and just being yourself is so much more refreshing than the deception. If a person can't show a recent, clear photo of themselves, what else are they hiding?

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  9.   Classy says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 08

    EVERYTHING IN THE ARTICLE WAS SO TRUE. NOW EVERYONE NEEDS TO TAKE HEADE TO IT..

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  10.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 08

    Thanks for the tips. I already knew most of them but I haven't learned yet how to upload a picture from a digital camera so I use my webcam for now (and doesn't look too bad).

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  11.   sandijm says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 08

    Another thing guys, don't bother with the model type photo's, if you really looked like that in real life then you would not need to be on a dating site, you would have women throwing themselves at your feet daily. Just post real photo's that shows who you really are.

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  12.   sandijm says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 08

    Another thing with the photo's. Don't upload those model type photo's if you really looked like that in real life you would have so many women throwing themselves at you, you would not need to be on a dating site. Just post some real photo's that give us an idea of who you really are.

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  13.   1sweetblonde says:
    Posted: 17 Jun 08

    Please, no photos of you with your ex cut out or erased, and please - when you upload a photo, make it bigger than the one on your driver's license, and not your actual license photo! (I actually saw one of those today). If the enlargement is no larger than the thumbnail, I gotta guess you're hiding something.

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  14.   1sweetblonde says:
    Posted: 17 Jun 08

    Please, no photos of you with your ex cut out or erased, and please - when you upload a photo, make it bigger than the one on your driver's license (I actually saw one of those today). If the enlargement is no larger than the thumbnail, I gotta guess you're hiding something.

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  15.   SoFlaDiva says:
    Posted: 29 Apr 08

    I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've stated. May I add a few other things? Please, please, please - no more: 1. Photos taken with webcams/blurry, unclear photos 2. 20 year old photos and to re-emphasize, PLEASE take 2 minutes to proofread that email before sending it! For me, nothing is more of a turn off than a bad photo accompanied by a poorly written email.

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  16.   sortaann says:
    Posted: 29 Apr 08

    I agree with you totally.

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  17.   sexyXsmart says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 08

    Amen to EVERYTHING You suggested. If they listened to your advice they wouldn't be single still ...

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  18.   lenora says:
    Posted: 22 Apr 08

    When pictures with one's ex is posted, I will naturally assume that person still have unresolved issues with the ex that he/she needs to work through. It raises the question as to whether or not you are over the ex and if you're ready to move on to someone new in your life.

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  19.   snehaseeli says:
    Posted: 22 Apr 08

    Amen to the pictures with the ex's. What's up with that? Is it suppose to make me want them more because someone already has/had them?

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