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Marriage has a chance after all

Posted by James, 26 Jan

I know of people who have refused to commit to the women they love for fear of divorce. Look at celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry. Much as they are in loving and committed relationships, after enough failed marriages, they have refused to walk down the aisle one more time. Don’t even get me started on the countless marriage scandals of our leaders and celebrities. Then we have reality TV shows like “Cheaters” showing us just how the institution of marriage is sacred no more. Aren’t you sick of hearing about this mess?

Looking into the 50s, marriage was intact – happily married couples were allover. Well, we have reached the end of our divorce tunnel and I see light. The number of first marriages that reach their 10th anniversaries has jumped from 65% to 80%. And according to Jay Livingston of Montclair State University, "The divorce rate has been declining for about the last 30 years." Apparently its at its lowest since 1970.

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Much as cheating is a major threat to the institution of marriage; half of the marriages affected by this survive.

In an email interview, Betsey Stevenson, an assistant professor of economics at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania says that half of marriages do not end in divorce and that today’s generation is determined to keep their marriages “as healthy as their hearts.”

Only those who married in the 70s might have reached the 50% divorce rate mark. Since then, marriage has had a better chance of survival and we don’t know this because of the negative headlines that continue to dominate the institution of marriage. And such scandals – especially those involving high profile individuals – hurt many young people’s view of marriage, making it less appealing.

You and I both know that a happy marriage contributes to a happier and healthier you. So why not ignore these divorce stories and strive towards keeping your marriage as healthy as your heart? Do it right the first time … make it last … its in your vows.

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5 responses to "Marriage has a chance after all"

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  1.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 06 Feb 10

    You can't blame the media..these shows only reflect what is prevalent in society, even if its in a sensationalized and highly dramatized manner. The institution of marriage is dead. Where it was once based upon love, trust, and a commitment to spend the rest of your life making a life together... Is now a contract whose terms include resumes, 401k's, and vindication clause where a woman can kick a guy in his balls every month should the marriage fails, regardless of who fails to keep the terms of the contract, and usually to the tune of about 65% of a man's monthly income. While Mr.Queen's comments are brutal, they are honest to the extent that the meaning of marriage was changed by women themselves, talked about amongst mothers, daughters, gossipy friends, nieces, and neighbors. Guys just want a woman so they really have no choice but comply. All I can say is....caveat emptor

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  2.   RT67 says:
    Posted: 03 Feb 10

    Not with the ease of no-fault divorce! I learned a very hard lesson... It takes two to get married and only one to get divorced! Obviously, it was not amicable.

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    Yea blame the media for the negative light on marriage. The concept of marriage is great. It is the liability men suffer when it comes to marriage that is the problem. She gets alimony and child support regardless of who is at fault in marriage. Then you support her with your income so she 'can get with another man". Then you have this back child support thing. Essentially, you get blamed for being the father because "she ain't know" for sure who the daddy was. Now you got to pay back child support for a child that you didn't know for sure that was yours. In some instances, even if the child is not yours. Lastly, you got to be marriage material to be married. You are not entitled to be married simply because you are a woman. Some women don't know to close the deal on getting married. They get thirsty and desperate. They claim they are leaving after 5 years with you. You older than you was 5 years ago. Starting over at 30 something years old and you think that is okay? Stop watching Oprah and Dr Phil.

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  4.   coco_mia says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 10

    I believe that marriage can work and will work if both parties work at it. I am not married yet and one day I am sure that I will be. Even with the many negative lights that shine on marriage today they do not affect my idea of marriage. When a man and a woman take those vows it is sacred and I believe it is that way up until they pass away. God ordains the instituition of marriage. So, I say give it a go, be happy, be committed and be strong. The wind is at your back.

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  5.   fire321 says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 10

    We've all heard the saying "there's nothing new under the sun". Relationships have not changed over time, people have. In my parents generation, when you married, you stayed married regardless of the circumstances that take place during the marriage. Husbands/wives cheated then, did drugs then, committed crimes then...circumstances haven't changed. We in an age where if your spouse or significant other cheats or whatever, you leave them or divorce them. Women are much more independent today. Many years ago, a lot of women didn't even work outside the home. Now women are doing it all for themselves and in some cases have reversed roles and are taking care of men. Marriage is HARD work and it takes a lot of effort from both parties to make it succeed. Over time a person's wants and needs change as they grow in life and both parties have to understand that even though some things change, their commitment to each other hasn't. We've become a society of "it's easier to leave than stay and work through the tough times". Although I've been married before and it didn't work for me, I won't say marriage is not for me. I think finding someone that you have enough in common with and support each other in the things they are trying to achieve in life is key.

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