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Just sex?

Posted by James, 10 May

Ever heard one of your pals saying they don't have time for a full time relationship? This is our world. People are so absorbed by working to an extent of not having time to feed the soul. But funny enough many career-minded individuals still want physical relationships… you know, those steamy sexual encounters that have no drama and frustrations that come with relationships. It has become a syndrome now. Most young men and women alike don’t want commitment.

The problem is some of us get into these CFAs (Convenient Fucking Arrangements) only to get attached to someone who made it clear from the did ‘sex’ that that is all they want. So what are you supposed to do then? Sit and pray to the gods that he will fall in love eventually?

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Nothing against the ladies but it so happens that most women, after months of having a CFA with a dude end up getting attached. And when the dude refuses to commit, then they feel betrayed. These CFAs aren’t healthy coz when the dude doesn’t feel that connection, then you end up seeing yourself as just a ‘sperm pit’.

The best advice is that if its sex you want, then better have it once and ruuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!!!!!!! When hunger strikes again, go hunting for a different dude. That way, you will be assured of no attachment forming. Am I encouraging promiscuity? It all depends on how we look at it. But hey am just trying to be realistic here.

Wonder what name we can come up with for it besides commitmentphobia. Amuse me people.

Tags: sex

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17 responses to "Just sex?"

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  1.   anonymous26 says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 10

    Blubbronxtail well said!!

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  2.   fire321 says:
    Posted: 12 Aug 09

    If that's all that you want, more power to you. I personally would prefer a guy be up front about it vs. the game playing. There are women out there that want a "no strings attached" relationship. I'm not one of them but if that floats your boat...float on!

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  3.   blubronxtail says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 09

    Wow I think this is one of my most favorite topics! Ok Now first of all the "just sex" "friends with benefits" "booty call" is a joke. Lets really think now ladies and gents. Are women really enjoying these random sex encounters? Are women even having orgasms? Lets be real. Random sex encounters are beneficial for men. So this random hook up is really a joke on women. Now I know women want to try and do the whole men thing and say well I can go out there and get it too. My advice would be to invest in some personal massage tool(s) and a great supply of AA batteries! Ohh and Showtime After Dark may take things up a notch aswell. But men are really the only ones that benefit from these encounters. Now to me if you want to use someone for 2-5 mins and run. Go out and pay for it. That's why there are strippers, pornos,nude mags, prostitutes. I'm not in anyway promoting prostitution. Thats not what I'm saying. Just saying if you're going to take something you can give replace it with something else. That would be fair. Or atleast be upfront. But that's the big issue in the dating game. The guy is trying to find out how long will he have to talk to you before you bend over. Sorry to be so blunt but lets be real here. I usually try to sniff out the posers and cut them off. But they are so obvious. If a guy you just met keeps pushing to have you over or to go to your house, that's all he's looking for. No he's not interested in your PS3 or your wall art. He may not even be that great of a cook but he'll save money cooking for you and save time getting you in bed. To me these are the clear warning signs. If he keeps persisting drop him and drop him fast. You'll feel better about yourself later. If you do decide that you really need that affection from a stranger that doesnt know who you are or what you like then just be safe. The bad part is that you'll find out either A. he lasted 2 mins and rolled over to go to sleep. B. he lasted 3 mins and wanted you to hit the road talking about he has a big day tomorrow. C. he was horrible, knows it doesnt care and just ups and leaves. D. the size you expected wasnt even close or viagra should be on his to do list. So here are so clues to these obvious guys: Some guys hint at it to see if you're just oohh so into them that you'll give it to them right then. But my personal favorite is actually letting them talk about it. If you ever ask them about their last sex encounter ask them how was it for the woman. If they give you a response : "I DON'T KNOW" RUN RUN AND RUN. THIS IS A SELFISH GUY. ANY MAN THAT'S ABOUT PLEASING A WOMAN AND NOT HIMSELF IS IN COMMUNICATION WITH THE WOMAN BEFORE DURING AND AFTER. THE FAMOUS "I DON'T KNOW" REALLY MEANS I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! I WASNT THERE FOR HER I WAS THERE FOR MYSELF. The more selfish a guy the more he has to hide in the bedroom. So now that you got used how do you feel now? Was his shrimp scampi worth it? Now you realize you could have replaced the batteries that you ran out of and actually would have gotten a good night's sleep. REMEMBER: WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU WHO THEY ARE. LISTEN!!! MUCH BLUE LOVE PEOPLE! ~bluebronxtail

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  4.   Kays1968 says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 09

    JUST A WORD OF ADVICE, IF YOU DECIDE TO ONLY SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ONCE OR TWICE THEN GO TO ANOTHER,YOU BETTER START THINKING CONDOMS BECAUSE AIDS AND OTHER SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE ARE REAL. ALSO WE SURELY COULD HOLD OFF HAVING SEX BECAUSE NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU THEIR INTENTIONS, THEY WILL SLEEP WITH YOU AND BEFORE YOU REALIZE IT THEY WILL BE GONE.GOOD LUCK FOLKS.

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  5.   Learning says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 09

    I agree you should get a different one and then you don't get attached. You shouldn't sleep with him any more than twice and THEN BYE DICK, you gotta RUN! I personally am very, very busy and need stress relieving sex, so I agree with this method. I just had my first interracial affair, enjoyed it, saw the DICK and ran, lol. Seriously, if two people can agree on this type of relationship and are honest and straight forward, I think its okay. But most men lie to women and make them think it is something more, that's wrong.

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  6.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 09

    Hello my name is Merle Dean Shamblin and I would like to be your new friend. I sure could use somebody to chat with. I am a 47 year old long haul truck driver who currently lives in Duncan Oklahoma. Dec 8th 1960 I was born in Fairview Oklahoma. Moved to Caddo and Washita counties where I attended school at Colony Hydro and Weatherford. My parents Malvin and Wanda Shamblin were cotton and peanut farmers. Dad died in 99 from lung cancer. Graduated from SWOSU with a business degree. My two sisters are LaDonna Hubert and Malva Burrahm. Dennis is my brother. I have been a truck driver for 14 years and have driven 2 million paid miles. I have received many safe driving awards over the years. I am single and have never been married. I have a wide range of interests and am pretty much an open book. Currently I drive a 2006 Freightliner for a major carrier. I dont go to Canada very often. I dont have a dedicated route so I run the entire lower 48. I enjoy reading cinema music sports travel etc

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  7.   eric_t says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 08

    I hate to be the traditional spoiler here but there's a reason sex is considered intimate. The very act is..., yep you guessed it: intimate. What kind of person is truly able to have sex with someone and be able to discard them at a moment's notice? I believe it's the cold ones. A person who can use another person as a disposable source of entertainment in such an intimate way without developing an attachment is purely selfish and has completely lost their humanity. Now I don't think this applies to those who crave affection enough to lose their bearing. Because indeed, these types of trysts are an impatient cry for intimacy much needed. There's definitely a cry for something deeper. But honestly, the longer the wait the better. I personally recommend waiting till marraige but you can gauge a person's character with just this one practice. The more commitment a man or woman is willing to put on the line before you get intimate with him or her is a true litmus test for how much self control they have, how much they care about you, the value you hold in their eyes, the likelihood that they will cheat in the future..., you name it. But sex for sex sake..., I'm not saying that it hasn't happened a good ways in my past..., but it was meaningless, worthless and I can look back and honestly say that I would have had a better time doing something constructive. Oh, and don't believe me? Studies show that monogamous partners experience the greatest pleasure and satisfaction from sexual intercourse. I believe the psychologists loosely quantified it as being 4 times more pleasurable. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. :D

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  8.   1rockgodess says:
    Posted: 06 Oct 08

    More women want commitment than men, so if 23 percent of women run from commitment the rest are craving for it.. We (women) can always avoid this Dick issue and save our hearts the arrow break..

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  9.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 08

    I'm a "One in a Trillion" man whom isn't afraid of the "C" word but some women are so it's not just men.

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  10.   poetlove says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 08

    Alright don't jump down my throat. I see alot of sisters responding on here but in my travels it's women who are looking for these arrangements. I was good friends with a highly educated art teacher. Who invited me to her place to hang out and listen to some music. I was supremely attracted to her and was seeking a little relationship start. She confided that she had a crush or whatever on another poet friend of mine. Than proceeded to to ask if I wanted to what and other sugeestions. Being that I hadn't started drinking I was able to turn down this women. But all she was looking for from me that night was a little action. I've 2 other similiar situations but y'all get the point.

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  11.   blkfcherokee says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 07

    Devi, Yes, Dick can run. Let's be real, whose fault is it!! We women should learn to read the signs of men when they talk. Especially if we go out with them and they are like an octopus.Don't be weak, Don't give up the Fluff until you both have taken the relationship on another level. If you see that he is constantly asking for the fluff and skirting around the "commitment" issue, back off. Once you give up the fluff, you can't get it back and Dick is long gone! If you want a CFA, I hope you are taking precautions emotionally and physically because both can be devastating.

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  12.   Mybrownie says:
    Posted: 29 May 07

    I agree with you Devi it is just respectful for the other person to tell you what it is that they want from you instead of playing games. Life is too short and you never know when burning bridges playing around may cost you something in the future. But until everyone is evolved enough for a mature relationship it's probably best to keep your heart protected.

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  13.   Devi says:
    Posted: 28 May 07

    I have more respect for a guy who is upfront & says he is looking to 'play' & is currently not in 'commitment mode'. I think it shows a sign of honesty & maturity. To many people are into playing games & suffer from low self esteem trying to be players.

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  14.   Mybrownie says:
    Posted: 28 May 07

    Hey most people don't necessarily know that they are in a CFA. Some of us pay for these online dating websites in search of a long term relationship. However there are those out there that are not looking for the same and lets face it "Dick" is selfish. "Dick" may not care that a CFA is not what you want. "Dick" may pretend for a short period that he is looking for a long term relationship and when things get a little too serious thats when we all "See Dick run!" What's the solution to this problem, I just don't know. I guess we could all hold off having sex until we are absolutely certain that the person that we are with is on the same program. I guess avoiding the CFA is all a matter of timing.

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  15.   Devi says:
    Posted: 24 May 07

    another name for commitmentphobia???........'see dick, run!'

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  16.   tacomaguy39 says:
    Posted: 17 May 07

    i am a average white guy and i think sex outside of my race has been much hotter & romantic and women seem to be into me as much as i am into them. then being with my own race.

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  17.   newseries says:
    Posted: 11 May 07

    why can't we just be honest and say we are interested in sex as well as companionship? If it was an option on the profile that could only be accessed with a password you could give out your password to people you like. Then no one would have to feel pressurised into getting physical unless they wanted to.

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