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Ghosts from the past

Posted by James, 07 Feb

What do you do when un-summoned ghosts from your past relationships come back to haunt?

Roger, a friend of mine, got an email from Sally (a woman from his past) … out of the blue … after 5 years of total communication blackout. This was after trying so hard to make the long distance relationship work.

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Recently, Sally started emailing Roger telling him she was thinking of him and missed him. Well, he did what any man who was in a relationship does and just let her know he was fine and was glad to hear she was too. Well actually the reason for him say too much in his reply was because he wasn't really sure why after all this time, she suddenly started contacting him again. Was she trying to get back together with him?

Last week, Sally e-mailed him again. She told him what she has been up to during the past 5 years of complete silence (there was mention of work and children even the family dog, but no boyfriend in the pucture as far as he could tell). Roger could have spent the rest of his life with no intention of summoning this ghost from the past, but after hearing from her, memories of what it was like when they were together came back …good memories! (We all know how that feels)

Why, after all this time, would a woman renew a conversation that has been dead so long? Does she still have feelings for Roger? The thing is, Roger just wants her to come out and say so. Could she be afraid of saying too much until she knows what he feels for her?

What should he do?

Tags: the ex, when the ex comes back, ghosts from the past

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13 responses to "Ghosts from the past"

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  1.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 02 Jul 10

    Sounds like she was unavailable then and just as unavailable now but wants to be reassured that he will be there if she contacts him. Guess what? He is!

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  2.   SWF68 says:
    Posted: 07 Oct 08

    I honestly feel that if it was broken, it cannot be fixed & feel brand new again. Experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you wanted!!!

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  3.   1rockgodess says:
    Posted: 06 Oct 08

    Funny enough I read this blog yesterday and purposely refused to comment but the thing is some ghost surfaced in my life today and I'm really thinking... "what do you do with ghosts?" they really not a welcome issue especially when one has moved on...:) permit me to say if it was possible exorcise them..we dont need back & forth thingy, we need to move on, I mean forward with our lives. simple! damn 'em

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  4.   poetlove says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 08

    I've had that be good and bad one turned out to be a pleasant surprise, the other lets just say i had to change my pin number, be careful she could be trying to give a vd or anything seek answers from god on this one

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  5.   write66 says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 08

    It's hard to say. I guess it depends on the depth relationship you had with that person (like what MarketingBill wrote about having that "grin"). I'm a very sentimental person. Fortunately, some relationships I've had ended on amicable terms where we agreed to just go our own ways. Although I've never tried to rekindle a past relationship, I've felt a palpable need for closure for one relationship that ended abruptly. I sent a letter to a lady just to say hello and see how she was doing about four years after we broke up. Like gracian said, it wasn't an effort to get back with her, just a note to say hello. Perhaps it was partially driven by guilt although the circumstances of our breakup were of equal responsibility. I felt relieved when I she said she was engaged and quite happy. I sincerely wished her and her fiance well and...well, I felt as if a unseen burden had been lifted. Maybe it was a way for us to forgive each other too. Blessings to all,

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  6.   gracian1979 says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 08

    my ex of two years ago contacted me on valentines to tell me happy valentines (oh and that he is married. I told him good for him. Didnt ask why he contacted me and shared a joke or two but I have no intention of entertaining further communication. Yes I reemmber the good times but I also remember why it never worked and why we didnt talk for over two years. I have a good memory. I also have enough friends so don't need that from him either. Havng said that I have been a ghost myself in the past an the reason why is coz at that time i felt lonely and remembered how "he" had always made em laugh, smile or whatever it was and at that moment thats what i needed. My haunting was brief and served its purpose but I would not want to get back together with "him". I just needed to go down memeory lane for a brief walk.

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  7.   rparker says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 08

    I would say that she's lonely or trying to nurse a recent heartbreak. If she really wanted him, I don't think she would have let so much time lapse before reconciling.

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  8.   Sucess says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 08

    I've been through this 4 or 5 times in my life. I just go a card from a white woman wanting to hook up after quite a while. Because I only date black women I haven't anwsered. It all has to do with whether you had that certain grin when you were with him or her. I was seeing one woman who I liked but she wasn't the one. So I got a phone call asking me to pick my friend up at the airport. I hadn't heard from her in about 3 years since she had moved to Calif with her husband. I guess I was naive, but I went to the airport expecting nothing. She called me because I had always put that grin on her face. She left 4 days later with that grin back in her soul.

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  9.   Ashya_ says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 08

    People do things for different reasons. Fear, Insecurity, Misinterpreation of a situation. Sometimes it is easier to walk away then to deal with something. Possibly regret on her part. The only way Roger is going to find out, is if he asks directly whats up and why now? Then decide whether this is something he wants to pick up again, or to say thanks for contacting me, but I have moved on.

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  10.   donut says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 08

    the pic is very scary LoL but I'm not a ghost for you [for some men I knew]

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  11.   melodymarie says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 08

    just press delete..run and never go back..for whatever reason she isnt in ur life now and hasnt been for the past 5 years...U dont need her lol..

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  12.   SweetLibra says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 08

    Its funny... this happened to me a month ago. I used to date this guy and everything was great for a year and then it just went downhill. We tried very hard but it just did not work out. We stopped talking for a long time and then all of a sudden he decided to contact me. H drove all the way to my house and left a note on my car. 3 pages filled with words that said how sorry he was and how much he regrets losing me. I messaged him on his phone only to acknowledge the note, to accept his apology, and to admit to my faults. I then told him that I had moved on and that he should not contact me again. The way things had ended with us was so abrupt that neither one of us really got any closure. I think after he heard that I had moved on he decided to let go of the past between us. I don't think I could ever forget him, but I would not let his memories jeopardize my future with someone else.

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  13.   jojo35 says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 08

    I just want to say that I think unless there is a real good reason behind her ignoring him for so long, that she has a cheek to just expect to pick up where she left off after all this time.

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