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Where would you stand... If all they could do was, sit!

Posted by Leticia, 25 Apr

If you had the chance to be with anyone in the world, the only catch was they could have only one-quality brains or beauty, which would you choose? If you or your loved-one were suddenly injured, could your love stand the test of time when it comes to disabled personals dating?

It's hard to imagine that there are women out there that have to "dummy down" to find a man. I can't count how many times I've heard women say that they hold back a little bit of their intelligence to make their men feel smarter. How stupid is that? Wouldn't it be easier to find a starter guy?

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Yeah, I know what you're saying that it's easy for me to say, ‘cause I got a man. Well, trust me when I tell you it wasn't because I settled for someone so insecure that I had to pretend to be not as smart to land him. In fact, he tells me that I'm one of the smartest women that he knows and he's constantly pushing himself to learn more to keep up. Now I'm smart enough to know that was just a line...but, it worked.

He also told me that I was the prettiest girlfriend that he ever had. I know this to be true because I've seen all the pictures. Anyway, what is your dating preference? Outside of the ethnicity, what qualities do you look for in a mate? How important is what they do for a living? Guys do you have a problem with your women making more money than you? Ladies, would you date a shorter guy? How about someone with a handicap?

We've talked before about the importance of physical appearance. It goes to more than vanity sake. The reality is that people in shape are healthier and healthier equals less health risks long term. Beauty may only be skin deep but medical payments can last a lifetime.

Some may think that it's vain to think about someone's health when considering entering a relationship with them. However, if you take into consideration the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce and that the main causes is financial problems it goes to reason that this could be a potential problem. We won't even address the healthcare issue and how many Americans currently are not covered.

According to an article published on Today.msnbc.com in October, there was a study given at the European Cancer Conference in Barcelona, which said that with most types of cancer, the healthy spouse was likely to support their partner. However, the risk of divorce increases if one partner suffers from testicular or cervical cancer, verses any other types of cancer.

It's great and noble to love for the sake of love, but how smart is it? Do you think that it's pure vanity to not even consider someone with a disability? Have you ever dated someone with a disability or thought about it? What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in that situation, do you know how you would or if you could handle it?

Martina Navratilova said it best..."Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do just one thing well, you're needed by someone".

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17 responses to "Where would you stand... If all they could do was, sit!"

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  1.   minosa says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 08

    Though questions arise from this article. To what extend should one stick around and offer her or himself to the other while life passes by. Are you maybe hurting the disabled person more by being there but actually not being there. What is your attitude, mercy, pity, loyalty, sacrifice? Which disablity is more difficult to handle? Blindness or Bitterness, Paralyzed or anger tempers from abusive spouse, so in a point we are all disabled physically, emotionally, or whatever, just the degrees and influence it has on the ones who surround you make maybe a difference

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  2.   bustitbaby says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 08

    good one something to think about!!!

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  3.   cocobaker813 says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 08

    I love all the noble comments, but I have to comment from the 'disabled' side of things. I am a very attractive woman of color who has dated a lot. A lot. I am also legally blind in one eye and it wanders a bit, and have been so since the age of 5, so it's pretty much a nonissue with me. As a 20something dating, I was interested in a guy and we spent time together over New Year's Eve/Day at a house party thrown by some friends of his. I overheard him asking one of his guy friends what he though of me. The guy replied, "She's really pretty, but if her eye was straight, she'd be better looking". He told they guy that I was blind, and that to not get to know someone because of something so superficial is pretty rediculous. I've actually heard the same thing from this guy on the subway once(he was with friends)years ago as a teen. I sarcastically told him that if he wanted to pay for the surgery, he could go ahead and make me prettier if he wanted. He tried to turn it around and embarass me, but I told him he did me a favor of blowing up his own spot so I didn't waste the paper giving him my number. His friends laughed at him, and people who overheard him dissed him for trying to go off on me. I mention these two points because so many people are looking for "perfection" in others. I don't remember my blindness until someone else reminds me of it. I've had very nice relationships with men who could care less about my blindness and I'm not discounting the majority of the men I've met and dated who could care less. Just remember that disablity is not just a phyical or mental challenge.

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  4.   hotrod2009 says:
    Posted: 28 Jun 08

    Great article, Just a reminder to everyone just put yourself in there shoes. Wouldn't you want to be loved and excepted. After all everyone deserves to be loved.

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  5.   Velvet63 says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 08

    Thanks for the article. Very informative.

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  6.   Shilzzer says:
    Posted: 13 Jun 08

    I feel that if you were in a situation to where you were dating someone and they happened to become disable than you should not abandon them because of their disability. My thing is if I developed feelings for you than I would never abandon that person because of their disability. I feel that its more important to look at the inner and not outer exterior. I feel that their disability is beyond their control.

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  7.   jewel65 says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 08

    If I found a cute, available guy, and we got on well, it wouldn't make any difference to me if he was disabled, as long as we could have good sex. As for dumbing down, I have always dumbed down in relationships, as I have not yet found anyone of my intellectual capacity whom I find remotely attractive.

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  8.   lovely2see says:
    Posted: 17 May 08

    Something to think about in regards to human nature...

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  9.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 13 May 08

    Great article, thanks for posting...

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  10.   SxyWhtTiger says:
    Posted: 11 May 08

    I personally would love my partner no matter what...whether they were disabled or not...guess I'm old fashioned but if something happens to other I wouldn't flee I would be there by their side through thick and thin.

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  11.   majesticone says:
    Posted: 10 May 08

    I have to admit, i thought to myself once that i could date someone who was disabled. it was after i saw a couple together and he was paralyzed from the neck down and she took care of him. the hard part is, most of them do not live long even with top notch care because their body breaks down. so at first i was like.., " now thats true love" but then i said, "wow, she has to be strong because he may not live to see the next 10 yrs." cost never came into play when i was thinking about it. it was more the problem of how much time i would have with that person. so it made me think, what if i was already in a relationship and something happened to my partner? would i stay or stick him in a nursing home? honestly, i would stay unless his care was beyond what i could physically do for him and even then, i would spend as much time with him in the hospital as i could until he passed. but i dont want to ask this to happen. so all i can say is i would do my best to keep my word and thats to love him for him.

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  12.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 05 May 08

    Disability isn't inability to perform or succeed. What realy matters is very simple, can you love each other for who you are?Or are you too insecure to accept each other?

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  13.   Faline says:
    Posted: 04 May 08

    I have thought of dating with disability. I just have not met someone who is disabled around my age. With one exception. I know I could not handle dating someone with a mental disability where control of such depends on medication. I have seen too many cases of a person or persons not taking the meds and problems ensue. The thing that is most important to me is the heart of a person, not the outside shell. The shell could change with an accident, a stroke, etc. That is just my humble opinion. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone.

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  14.   SxyWhtTiger says:
    Posted: 04 May 08

    Great article...I think a person should love me just the way I am without any hangups and I would do the same. If you can't love somebody the way they are then you don't really love them in the first place.

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  15.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 04 May 08

    Thanks for the article.

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  16.   konstantinos says:
    Posted: 02 May 08

    the article is perfect!!!!but i don't think any woman step dawn her smartens to be with a man!!!the woman have so much more brain than man that even when a woman acts like this it's because she knows she is going to win something!!!!

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  17.   nicefella115 says:
    Posted: 01 May 08

    Very great to read, on the serious note!!!

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