What does this have to do with dating?
The Story of Shaquanda Cotton
And you thought the doll test was hard to watch...
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One girl burns down a house, one shoves a teacher's aid. They were both 14 in a small Texas town and sat before the same Texas judge. One goes free, the other to jail. One was white and the other was black...the year 2006. But what does this have to do with dating?
But what does this have to do with dating? This was the question that I was asked when I said that I wanted to write about a young girl that was serving time in a Texas Youth detention facility for shoving a hall monitor at her high school. The 58 year old teacher's aid was not seriously hurt. However, she was white and Shaquanda Cotton black. Perhaps the biggest controversy in this case was not that the 14 year old black girl was sentenced to up to 7 years for shoving; but that the same judge that handed down this sentence, just a few months earlier had given another 14 year old girl (who happened to be white), probation for burning down a house. Shoving equals prison and Arson equates to probation. I'd heard that things in Texas were big, but I had no idea.
As you can imagine, once Shaquanda's story finally hit the press (almost a year after she began to serve her sentence), tempers were flaring and everyone was screaming racism. We heard every detail of the young girls defiant past. Let's see there was the multiple disciplinary issues that she received at the school after, her mother began complaining of unfair treatment too other minority children (at the time none were her own).
Coincidently, Shaquanda began to get write ups for (1) wearing a shirt that was an inch too short, (2) pouring too much paint into a cup during art class and (3) defacing a desk that later school officials reported showed no signs of damage.
During Shaquanda's trial, which by the way, (her mother was not allowed in the court room because she was told that she was a witness), school officials would testify that the 14-year old girl "demonstrated a pervasive and consistent anti-authority attitude". Wow, I think I know a few of those types. They are called TEENAGERS!
I guess that's what brings me to my point. What does this story have to do with dating? Nothing and everything. I'm sure I could find some cute and clever way to tie in the "race" card and how this poor little black girl is being treated so wrong. Or go for the angle of her single parent mom trying to raise a child and how we can learn to deal with hardships, trials and tribulations in our own relationships. But, no I'm not going to either of those places.
I'm going to that place that exists inside everyone on this "interracial" dating site, your heart. I feel the need to point out that in the year 2007; we have bigger problems and challenges in our society than getting poor service and nasty looks. It goes deeper than what a has-been comedic actor says or if we should sleep with our ex. It's important that in addition to getting all the feel good, self improvement and how to find the love of your life lessons, that we also get the information and knowledge of what social problems are going on in our world. It's important to know where you and your companion stand on these important issues.
It's imperative that we not only know about the "hot topics and issues", but that we also FEEL something. To know how we feel and how those whose opinions we respect feel. We can't allow ourselves to become numb, because in this day and age nothing surprises us anymore. We've ALL been there, done that, seen it, wrote it, lived it!
When we start to think that it's okay for a 14-year old child to be locked away for shoving while grown ass adults serve less time for drugs, rape and murder, we've got bigger problems than how to find the love of our life.
This story really has nothing to do with dating, but everything to do with understanding, compassion and love. And without those things what's the point of dating?
This is Leticia reminding you to not loose your heart; you may need it one day.
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56 responses to "What does this have to do with dating?"
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 13 Aug 07
Purdey, the family was doing all they could to get the workd out about Shaquanda. They called the major networks, wrote letters, sent a chain e-mail asking for support and to write to the Govenor of Texas. The good news is that they did get everyone's attention and Shaquanda is back in school. I was happy to provide the update because this was such an emotional story for all who read about it.
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Purdey says:Posted: 12 Aug 07
After reading the comments of posters like Raymond and Jeff, one can understand how these injustices occur. There are posters here who will forever make excuses for racist attitudes. Maybe they mirror their own opinions. I wonder why it took so long for this incident to come to international attention. What were the family doing when these events were unfolding? Or maybe they were just too mortified to take action. It is possible for this to incident to occur in the UK, but it would not have resulted in a jail sentence. The black population is tiny, but it would have come to public attention immediately. Cocokisses, I agree with your comments on the 27th April, and thanks very much for the update on Shaquanda.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 10 Aug 07
All I can say about Texas is that while I agree with some of Bob's post, I happen to love San Antonio. I don't know what the rest of Texas is like. I do know that the first time I went there, I met some of the nicest people I have ever known. I go every year, and one day I hope to build a home and retire there. I will be the first to say that I don't like Bush, but I won't be afraid to visit the state just because this President is from there. I will tell Bob to visit sometime...he will be surprised at how nice the people are. I know I was!
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hrshykiss2 says:Posted: 05 Aug 07
wait, wait , now we are blamming Bush for the actions of a stupid racist Judge and one cummnity, and a teacher. Are we gonna blame all of the whole of Texas for the actions of a few! Remember it was under George Bush, and the same State that two young white men were put to death for the brutal killing of a black man!! He could have pardoned them, or gave them life in prison as in the past, So let's not get carried away and blame the whole of Texas ok. I know some beautiful whites in Texas and they hated this story as much as blacks did, and were very vocal about it! Are we gonna blame the whole state of Michigan for that white woman who divided a whole town because she killed her kids and white people were easy to believe that a black car jacker took her kids and her car! Or any other state where there are cases like this and say don't go there. Well then blacks might as well lock their doors and sit at the window in every state in America with pistols ready, cause it happens all over America not just Texas and not only under George Bushes watch. Do we blame all other presidents for hate crimes and unfair judicial cases that happened under their watch, give me a break!
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hrshyskiss2 says:Posted: 05 Aug 07
Twono, brillantly said, my man, if that happened American Justice would be a lot different in this country! I also believe that all white cops who work in all latino latino and black neighborhoods should live there! So they see the people they are suppose to protect as more than criminals and minuses to society! It's kinda hard to bash someones face in with a stick, when you have a personal connection with them.
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Jade74 says:Posted: 19 Jun 07
So very true Fala and Cocokisses.Racism still exist and it is swept under the rug and no one wants to acknowledge it.
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cocokisses says:Posted: 18 Jun 07
Very true Fala. That's most of the problem right there. No one wants to acknowledge that they might be a racist, or that it does exist.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 17 Jun 07
Glad to hear and thanks for the update Cocokisses. Heard it on the news recently.
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Fala says:Posted: 15 Jun 07
It's not even a secret D - many people here just don't want to acknowledge that racism still exists here.
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D says:Posted: 30 May 07
It's pretty sad that this issue still exists in 2007! It's this countries 'dirty little secret' & it's the shame that will contribute to our downfall. In my opinion, it boils down to guilt, shame & fear. That's why it's very important to watch, listen & learn from other people. Trusting right from the start can be dangerous!
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 16 May 07
UPDATE! For those of you who didn't know, because of the outcry from several people across the country, and due to media exposure, Shaquanda Cotton was released from Juvenile Prison on March 31, 2007. Most of the officials behind this injustice have either been FIRED or RESIGNED. This case was a travesty, and because of people like us, this child was released. Also, upon her release, she received cards and gifts from across America. You did not have to be Black to know that this was wrong, and this child now has a chance to become a productive member of society just like the rest of us. God Bless all those involved in making this WRONG A RIGHT!
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 16 May 07
I'm lost on that one too Nick...I don't see any previous comments...
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Fala says:Posted: 16 May 07
This story provoked some of the strongest reactions yet here. Keep stirring the pot. It really makes people think and that can t be too bad.
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Nick says:Posted: 10 May 07
Who was arousing anger and bad feelings? I'm lost on that previous comment???!!!
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doris says:Posted: 09 May 07
Oops! did i strike a nerve? Let me break it down. I refuse to give that much power to anyone who arouses anger, and bad feelings. To even hold something like this up as a topic of conversation without a cure or a solution is not compassionate. This society has made it appear that women of color were nothing, that is why the little black girl chose a white doll. Change the way society preceives women of color and things will change. Racism is a form o mental illness, and people who fan a flame just to get a reaction, is just as sick. So that is why i say i do not care as a women of color i know the truth. The white doll is no better than the black doll, there is only the incredible lie behind it. Some day the little black girl will understand who she is and the power of her own dynamics and look beyond the lie and say "I don't care"
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sexyfirefly says:Posted: 08 May 07
This article tells what goes on in todays society. But what we need to do is realize people need togeather as a nation an show the people of todays age to be a more responsible adult.. An the rasicm needs to come to a end. For this is 2007 its happenin all around.
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Member says:Posted: 06 May 07
I can't believe this still happens in America of 2007. The girl should have receive a suspension for few days not sentenced to prison. I believe in Karma(what goes around comes around)God will punish the white red neck judge who only see color, nothing else
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Tajae says:Posted: 06 May 07
Im 41 yrs old single mom of three not single by choice but my husband was murdered and these is one of the fear that comes over me on these site of tryin to find someone.Its hard to know that the world that we all live in being eaten away with racial segregation, we make should all love each, 7 years I think is cold and heartless for a 14 yrs old for shoving a teacher and or any teacher, my daughter which is the oldest is 16yrs old and feel it and heart goes out to this mom. The Lord will take of you my child
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nicefella115 says:Posted: 01 May 07
i just still find it hard to believe, when its 2007.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 29 Apr 07
A very sad tale...its hard to believe this is 2007
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Mrbacnasty says:Posted: 28 Apr 07
Well you know as I sat and read this story I found it very disturbing but then I listened to it and the way it was narrated and well spoken gave me a feeling of how this story and the compassion I felt in the way the words were spoken is encouraging enough to make me tell all that this is one story that they will no doubt get a message out of to pass on.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 27 Apr 07
To comment on Jeff's remarks...You are seriously tripping? Aren't most of the remarks we are speaking of made by the group you CLAIM is being picked on? I have an even bigger question...if you feel that way, why are you on an INTERRACIAL dating site? The point we are trying to make is that it is so sad and heartbreaking that a 14 yr old with her whole life ahead of her is being jailed for 7 years for shoving a teacher-who was not hurt. She was wrong for what she did, and should have been suspended or punished but 7 years in jail? Where is the fairness in that?
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Aiishalove says:Posted: 23 Apr 07
I cant believe this is happening in the 21st century! It is heartbreaking.
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2UTE4U says:Posted: 23 Apr 07
i think think this is really really unfortunate that things like this is so pervasive in this so caled "age of reasoning". But all I can say is that hopefully this article will generate enough dialogue among people and wil give them a chance to see what they 're made of . ,articles like these are touch points but if I can't speak openly w/ a white guy on topics such as this then I can't see myself dating them ...to be white means you are priveleged...aND THIS THE THE GAWD AWESOME TRUTH ...
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thunder says:Posted: 22 Apr 07
first off i want to appogize that this still exists!! that we misjudge people all the time, that we look at the color of someone's skin, we don't look at the heart of a person, which is what GOD looks at!!! what the judge did was totally wrong, he saw black as wrong and white as right,and we say we as a nation as grown, this just shows we're still living in the past, it's only covered up more!! to the girl who went to prison, i pray she learns to forgive, without it she'll have a hard time trusting people again!!!!! and let the love of GOD through for all to see!!
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Jabali says:Posted: 22 Apr 07
I am from Kenya so I doubt whether I will be able to understand why people should act in a racist manner. But to put in a child for 7 years for shoving a teacher...and this in the United States. I think for that reason I may have to disagree with Laeticia and say that this kind of story has everything to do with dating. If people in the 21st century, Judges included, then we need, as human beings, to confront the question as to where we each stand on such issues, inter-racial couples included.
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Ethel says:Posted: 22 Apr 07
Thank you so much Leticia for emailing this story. I'm not from here (i'm Canadian), but I'm black. It literally tears my heart when I consistently see the injustices and racism still so blatant. I've encountered it in overt incidences on my entry into this country and other occasions here and in Canada. Yes, it does exist in Canada and unfortunately there is no Utopia. My heart goes out to this young child who was obviously sentenced on the basis of her race as the punishment definitely does not fit the crime. What is more disturbing to me is, why wasn't there more of an outcry? We like to pretend because we have blacks represented in elevated positions for public view such as, Oprah, Osma, black news anchor persons, commercials filled with blacks appealing to our pocket books and it gives you a false sense that everything is balanced, equal and basically okay. When you mention racism here, white people are just appalled that we are so vociferous on an ugliness that purportedly no longer exists. I also know of black people who prefer to pretend when it happens that it is something else. As if the experience is so painful that they cannot admit that they are being treated a certain way because of their skin. We MUST address this issue, because it is still very alive here and not only inflicted on adults, but our most precious gift of all...our children. It is hurtful that as a race we are still considered and treated as second class and sub human. I have a daughter and it makes me quiver to think that it could have been her, me, anyone who is of colour and that alone should have everyone here alarmed and concerned. It was very, very painful for me to read this story and profoundly upsetting. I can't imagine how that mother felt, or her poor child being singled out for a judicial lynching. No one wants to admit that it still exists, although it is right in our face. It is like a dirty family secret that no one wants to talk about or acknowledge. How sad! This malady that permeates our society, must stop. I believe that once we are able to admit that we definitely have a problem, we will be able to go forward to heal and mend society. However, if a good portion of our society, especially those in power, doesn't admit it exist then the sore will remain until it becomes infestered and spread. Again, I thank Leticia for bringing this story to our attention.
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kenyanito says:Posted: 21 Apr 07
its called racism and also misuse of resources. How does that teacher feel, i guese more stupid than ever before.The mother should have lobbied people to stand up for her daughter.I'm disgusted.
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tarah says:Posted: 21 Apr 07
It took me a while to to read this article...I'm still trying to get over the Don Imus statement...For the life of me, I can't understand why the American Black women (overall in comparative to any other women in the world) are considered the "bottom of the barrel" so to speak...**sigh** Thank God I had a father who taught me different! He refered to me and my mother as a rose, a jewel, and queens! Many need to know that and remember not to handle us roses so difiantly, because we will wither... I pray for this girl and many like her of any race being descriminated against... Oh and Bill, no one should have to move for peace. God made this earth for all of us, with no restrictions!
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Bill says:Posted: 20 Apr 07
Just about every adult in this land knows this story all to well. It has been going on for almost 300 years. There are parts of this country where there is little racism compared to the South and the East. That is why my Old Man moved West 60 years ago. And why I think that people who live in places like Texas slow to learn. Move to the urban West. Do it for your children; do it for yourself. I live in Tacoma, WA. and have dated black women for many years. No one has given me grief but one time but one time and that was a black man on the edge of a gang banging area.
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Jeff says:Posted: 20 Apr 07
The story is tragic not just for what happened to Shaquanda but also that a judge who seems so blatently racist is still sitting on the bench - justice is blind, my butt! Ah, but don't be fooled, my friends. There are many instances of blacks who are just as racist. Political correctness is the worst idea in society in many years. It's not okay to pick on blacks, gays, women, etc., but white males, republicans, and Christians are acceptable targets. Until EVERYBODY behaves with a civil tone towards everybody else the famous words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., that people "...be judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin." will ring hollow.
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john744 says:Posted: 20 Apr 07
Stories like this break my heart. They make me feel like crying or sceaming. I've lived with them my whole life and they still make me sick. I've fought aganist them until I tried. I'm a 62 year old white male, who is unfortunately single by choice. I'm not dating because I'm ill and do not want to subject anyone to my troubles, but I've dated and married across "color lines" most of my life and I had to suffer for it; usually by familys on both sides.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 19 Apr 07
Sumasun, PREJUDICE happens EVERYWHERE! Don't think that there is not prejudice in the UK because it is. I know this because my neighbor's daughter is bi-racial. Her ENGLISH grandparents won't acknowledge her existance because her father is BLACK. The poor kid is the first grandchild on both sides, but the grandparents don't even send her a birthday card. Your country is not above this so it can and probably has happened there.
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Member says:Posted: 19 Apr 07
i read this article and felt numb, this is so obviously wrong and injust.
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Avichayil says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
2006... is that really a yard stick for civilized behavior? is the majority of the planet good? or suffering? Its one thing for people to be sad with such an injustice (not to mention the stories you don't hear) but another for you to do something about this. So, from the comfort of your computer desk.... what will YOU do about this...? I have a favorite saying.... " Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire..." .
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sumasun says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
I read this & felt sad & disgusted at the same time......This would NEVER happen in the UK!
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raymond says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
to me i feel that the one who push the teach aid should have gone to jail because it's agaist the law to put your hand on a teach or a teach aid.plus the color of ones skin really has don't to do with all they did was let that one go who knows what that person may do to the next teach aid.i really don't think that was fair for one to go to jail and let one go
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Cmur says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
Yes, I agree. The young black girl that shoved a teacher's aid should have been disciplined in some other manner. Spending years in prison for such small potatoes is ludicrous. Where are the priorities here. A white girl burns down a house with a mere slap on the wrist and the black girl pays dearly for shoving a teacher's aid. The judge should be replaced for passing such a horrible sentence.
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Member says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
I'm a white, professional guy, and I enjoy the company of black women. This story made me FURIOUS. First of all, as you said, she was a teenager - it's normal to be angry and rebellious as a teenager. Also, MANY "teachers" are stupid, ignorant, pompous, controlling psychos who should NOT BE NEAR CHILDREN - OR ANYBODY. I remember MANY who threatened, intimidated, and DAMAGED us, and who should have been fired, arrested, tried, convicted, and sentenced to LIFE IN PRISON at hard labor. MANY "teachers" are MONSTERS FROM HELL. For MILLIONS of kids, public schools and "teachers" HURT them, and DAMAGE MUCH OF THIR LIVES. The solution - SUE THEM. This girl, her family, friends, neighbors, and now people NATIONWIDE will NEVER forget her terrible experience with this evil "teacher" and "judge". In fact, it will probably spawn many anti-white events nationwide. Another thing - Texas is a redneck hell. Stupid, ignorant, destructive Bush is a prime example. We won't even drive through it, and we advise everybody to do the same.
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Twono says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
I THINK IT TIME FOR THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM TO HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTION. AFTER A JUDGE IS ON THE BENCH FOR 4 YEARS HE OR SHE SHOULD BE MADE TO TRANSFER TO ANOTHER DIVISION, AND THEIR CASES CHECK FOR FAVORS AND RACISM. BECAUSE IF A PERSON OF AUTHORITY IS RACIST OF ANY COLOR, THEN WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE, SIMPLE PEOPLE THAT HAS MADE A SIMPLE AND HARMFUL MISTAKE.
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Henk says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
Simply Outrageous. Sure she should not have pushed the teacher, but a couple of days suspension would in my view be an appropriate punishment. Maybe if she pushed really hard, causing physical injury, it would be a case for the court, but than an appropriate sentence would be a week community service or so. You should correct her, not waste her life. Black or white should not matter. Is this the US? Doesn't the constitution say all people are equal? I simply don't get it. Almost 40 years after Martin Luther King and this still is possible.
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Herby23 says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
After reading this story i am disgusted to think that even in 2006/07 we still have these problems. I cant for the life of me understand why we just get on with loving and living with one another. God bless you all and spread the love (",)
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Fala says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
Next time another white person at work tells me that racism doesn t exist anymore and that affirmative action is unfair and unnecessary because people of color have all the same opportunities as whites, I am going to email them this article. I would hope this will shut them up - but I doubt it.
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Tamara says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
The thing is racism still exist in this day and age. I live in texas and let me let you know don't get caught in the wrong town or else you will get it. I was pulled over for so call running a red light and there were several other cars behind who, if i ran i red light they did the same thing too. The little prick had me on the side of the road for at least on hour and even called his friend. He had the nerve to ask me where i got my BMW from and who bought it for me. When he could find nothing he gave me a ticket for $701, for various bull crap. I went to court and fought it and of course i won. You just have to know how do deal with racism when you encounter it.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 17 Apr 07
I read this story, and it broke my heart. I have been called a "pushover" by some, but let me tell you, my easy going attitude DISAPPEARS when it comes to my daughter. I hate that things like this still happen to us as adults, but when the system takes advantage of children, that's a different story. I would have done EVERYTHING, and screamed to every tv station, court, congressman or whomever to let everyone see such a blatant injustice. This is a ridiculous waste of court monies over a child shoving a teacher. They could have expelled her or suspended her but 7 YEARS IN JAIL FOR SHOVING A WHITE TEACHER??? GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!
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A new case that is similar to this one is the Jena6 in La.