“Barack Obama is one of the few men that we have seen who is a black man who has a very, very dark-skinned wife. She’s very dark skinned for normally what you see. And I wondered to myself, would he be electable if he had a white wife?” – Whoopi Goldberg confessed to having been woken up by this ‘strange thought’
There is this stereotype that once Black men become successful, they marry interracially as a sign that they have made it. Picture this: an influential, charming, attractive Black man with a Black woman in his arms. Now imagine the same man with a White woman in his arms. Does this change your perception of him? How and why?
In the video, Dr. France Twine wonders why it is perceived that a lot of Black men are marrying White women while in reality, the percentage of black man/white woman interracial relationships is totally on the lower side … unless the norm still is that they shouldn’t marry any? What do you think?
Dear Aspenrain,
Thank you for sharing.
And I love all 37 shades and flavors sizes and shapes.
As long as she is the right woman for me that is all that matters.
Peace out.
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I wonder… Would he have been elected if his wife was of another race?? That’s a good question.
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Thanks MichaelIMN. I am with you on this.
All the comments and sharing of thoughts are fantastic. But I too love all shades, flavors, sizes and shapes. It’s about finding the right person.
Ciao!
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talnwhite & glock: I hope that you folks are on this site looking for romance with white women. I am disgusted by all the white men that come on this site just looking to “hook up” with black women; Wondering what it would be like. When it’s time to really find a partner they find one just like them.
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Real men avoid skirt fights !
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Whoooa there Universal20! I’m from a certain Caribbean island and I have seen how badly the men behave that I wouldn’t have anything to do with them. The women are strong, work hard, but they’re let down by the men. They love home making, love to take care of their families,etc. Most of the men are unable to express themselves so beat up their wives, refuse to work or to strive for self-improvement – they end up in a rut and this leads to drugs. Yes, I know white men beat their women too, but they are so much caring towards the black woman than the black man is.
That is why black women go for white men – not for the money. You need not worry because I will assume you have none for a black woman to “go after” These black men are not interested in going to the theatre, they do not read books, they do not take any interest in their children’s upbringing, they do not go for walks in the countryside ….. the list goes on.
Think about it and see if you or your friends match the description.
I’m from the UK by the way – and the black men here are a totally different to the American men.
BY THE WAY, YOUR COMMENT HAS LEAD TO A DEVIATION FROM THE SUBJECT MATTER.
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When a man takes a hand to a women in anger . He becomes less than a man . He should remember that when he sleeps / this same woman can take an old axe handle to his knees . God said ” Thou shalt not kill ” , alas maim someone who hurts you , they will not do it again and walk away forever . No one should allow another to inflict physical pain without Restitution . Amen
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Nenalinda, I guess you’re making an assumption aren’t you. Are you assuming that I am here to “hook up”? Is that you method of “getting even” so to speak? Accuse a white man of wanting to “hook up”. Are you equally disgusted by the black men who come to this site to “hook up”? Or is it strickly a ‘hate white men” thing with you?
You just prove that you don’t have to be white to be racist. Apparently you and several others on this site are open to white men, just the robotic ones. The ones who think and believe what you tell them to believe and think. Thank God you and I and several others here will never be a match. And believe me I would rather be single than to spend anytime with your ilk.
You’re pathetic.
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talnwhite & Glock, don’t think for a minute that Nenalinda speaks for all (or even many) black women! Remember-that is HER personal opinion.
There are many black women who are smart enough to discern who is on this site just to “hook-up” and who is not – whether he is black or white!
Real women don’t punish a man for another man’s transgresions…
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Cocosan: You are right. Real women don’t “punish” men period. I think that it’s safe to assume by the use of the word men / man; we are referring to an adult male and punishment is not necessary as he’s not a child. However, if he’s into that type of thing bring it on…lol
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Cocosan: You are right. Real women don’t “punish” men period. I think that one can assume by the use of the word men / man; we are referring to an adult male and punishment is not necessary as he’s not a child. However, if he’s into that type of “thing” bring it on…lol I am all the woman that he will ever need
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Also Cocosan: I am new to this discussion and I read ALL the comments. I feel that Hatsheput should be able to express an opinion with out the bashing and the little comments that can be perceive by new people like me as “offensive”. Some blacks who will jump to the defense of people that make comments like these, obviously enjoy – the “you all” and the “You people” comments. Maybe it turns them on (I don’t know) for me it’s offensive. Also could you please explain to me what Glock meant by referring to Losha’s neighborhood as “her neck of the woods” It’s safe to say that this topic was discussed in the chat room today and the majority agreed that Glock probably assumes that Losha is black, therefore, she lives in a ghetto. I found it offensive period.
I applaud Losha for taking the time to explain the story about Mr. Henson. Very much appreciated. I have always wondered where the saying originated.
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Nenalinda, There is nothing wrong with satisfying your man’s “things”! I am with you on that!
I am just tired of people “assuming” the meaning of what someone else says. The statement(s) that Glock and others made that offended you – try not to read into them and there certainly is no reason to have a whole chat about what you think someone meant. I am black and I have had my neighborhood referred to as “my neck of the woods” many times and with the homes starting at over a quarter million dollars, I certainly would not expect someone to assume that I must live in a ghetto! If people continue to attach old feelings, etc. to blanket terms, we will never be able to get past some of those old feelings. Sure, there are people who are mean-spirited and evil and want to keep people at odds with each other. There is nothing we can do but pray for them.
I cannot speak for Glock – he is the ONLY one who can accurately tell you what he meant! If what he previously stated as explanation remains unclear, simply ask him for clarification.
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I wish people get over discussion President Obama’s race. Obama is “light-skinned,” however at the end of the day he is still a black man. Halle Berry is of mixed background but she IS still a black woman. My point is, both of these individuals are darker than my mother, and she is born of two black parents. However, my grandfather’s family is of white/european background. Can the world get over looking at his race? As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “let him be judged not by the color of his skin, but the content of his character. Yes, he is married to a black woman. But she is very successful and very smart, and they have two beautiful children. The color of his skin shouldn’t matter, as long as he leads this country in the correct manner. Any manner, is better than Bush. Truth of the matter is, we are ALL people. God created us all. We ALL have some african roots, no matter what color our skin is. Read your history books and your Bibles.
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Furthermore, blacks are no longer considered a minority. And in response to her being a “dark skin” woman, she is not. She’s darker than he is but what does it matter? They apparently are a happy family, so we should be happy for them, and worry about our own relationships. Who we date is our preference. True love knows know boundaries. That includes, race, location, financial situation, and etc.
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Let it go ALREADY……
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Glock: You have some very interesting and intriguing views. But you also have some very shallow and contradicting ones also. At the end of the day, biracial or no, Barack Obama is still a black man. The only biracial man that says he isn’t black is Tiger Woods and he’s dumb because he’s darker than President Obama. #2, The reason police brutality on blacks is reported is because many times when it happens, it is indeed a white officer, and they get nothing but a slap on the wrist. Yet if a black officer does the same act, they are ready to suspend him from the force or put him on desk duty. Recall the white officer that pepper sprayed a 14 year old black female (caught on his dash camera) for being out past her curfew. Why did he do it? We don’t know because he declined to be interviewed. Odd huh? Some (not all) white officers do pull over blacks and hispanics because they are just that. I do agree with you on the racism statement though. You most certainly do not have to be white to be racist. There are different levels of racism in EVERY race, whether you’re black, white, puerto rican, mexican, indian, or asian. In my defense, I’m not bashing you however, I do believe you need to agree to disagree.
Losha, AMEN. The soldiers that are overseas are getting shot at no matter what color they are. Overseas nobody cares all they see is an American soldier. And indeed it is astouding how racist some people truly are on this site. Truth of the matter is, they are close-minded individuals that may never learn. Then again some of the comments that they make are probably comments that they make when they sit around at home with their families. Shallow and sad, but true. This site is supposed to bring us all together. We ALL share common views. We ALL enjoy or would enjoy dating outside of our race.
Endya: I remember that documentary, and it IS true. We ALL are of AFRICAN ANCESTRY no matter how some people think otherwise. Same with the question as to whether Jesus Christ was white or black. The same dumb people ask that question. If these people read their Bibles and paid attention is history class, they would know that he was neither. He was of Hebrew descent.
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Hats off to you AFGurl3…..points well taken….I can appreciated…Educated Women….Losha, I like what you had to say as well….
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Cocosan you are correct. When I said “your neck of the woods” I was referring to where she lives, since I have no idea where she lives. However the only reason I got bashed for it was because we were having a disagreement, and I’m a white man. Whenever WE (white men) use generic terms such as “neck of the woods”, “you people” blah blah blah, it is usually assumed to have “racist overtones”. Whites get it all the time. The only reason I am explaining it to you is because you gave me the benefit of the doubt earlier today in your post. I wanted to tell you that that IS what I meant. Other wise I could care less what some of these people think here.
As you also can see that I am the subject of the chat rooms today (at least judging from a post above) and apparently it was concluded that I assumed Losha is black (in what post did I say that) and that she is from the ghetto (again, where did I say that or even HINT at that?) I would ask a question myself and say to these people why would they ASSUME anything on my behalf? Is it because I am white that they assumed these things? As I have indicated above that whites get this treatment ALL the time. Usually whites cow down and get defensive, apologetic and try to make immediate amends to the one offended because they assume that they must have said or done something wrong because they are told they did something wrong. I am not one of these people.
What’s more, is that some people on this site think that I hold racist views, should check themselves because it is they who jump to conclusions because they hear something they don’t like and assume it’s got to be racism.
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Ladies, please rise above Glock comments….read them and then dimissed them….You should not let anyone ruffle ur feathers on this website…it’s ALL good….
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LOL, yes by all means rise above them…
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It’s all good my friend…..have nothing negative to say….This site has been good to me….Met my Sweetheart here and it’s been nothing but Good times…lol
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I believe this is far more significant than one man’s comments. I see this as just another example as to why many blacks have difficulties interacting with other races. In my opinion, blacks frequently jump to conclusions and engage in the mob mentality to prove a point. The true concern (at least for me) is that everyone be able to engage in intelligent dialogue which frequently consists of spirited, often opposed debate. Instead of thinking of it as ruffled feathers, how about we consider it as what it is – dialogue! Everyone is entitled to their opinion whatever it is and that opinion is valid and should be respected. Defending one’s right to hold an opposing opinion from what may (at the time) appear to be the popular opinion is one of the key benefits of citizenship in this country – freedom of speech. Hopefully we can get to the point at which we realize that different (whether it is skin color, religion, politics, or even an opinion) does NOT equate to wrong – it’s just different!
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UR RIGHT…..I AGREE 100%….
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Thank you MsYvette! I am happy you have found your Sweetheart! Send your leftover good fortune my way so I can smile like you! Take Care & Be Blessed!
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I want to fully agree with Foxybrwnskn and Layla32.
And some one else I think who said the subject of color and it’s influence and lack there of needs to be a ‘nonissue’. The best way to accomplish that would be to not dwell on it and to focus on the person.
The commentator who said the first lady was very very dark is an idiot. And I loved the comment by someone who said maybe the President is not attracted to white women. Ya know, … different strokes for different folks. People are operating out of a programed mind by society and the many forms of media. White is not better.
Now I apologize for commenting on color when I just said it should not be a focus.
My vision for the future is a society where it is not mentioned or a concern. People have preferences in all things,like flavors of candy. The idea that we CAN all just get along is what attracted me to this site… Well, that and many men of color as that is my preference.
I was married for 23 years to a great guy and felt so at home in black culture I don’t want to be away from it.
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Good morning! Except the fact….We are not going to be to everyones liking…..I recd my share of No’s and I sent my share of No’s…I am a firm believer… There is someone for everyone…It might take a little more time for the Chemistry/connection…For some reason…it happens when we least expect it…In my being patience…it HAPPEN…P.S. Lady’s be sure not to settle…make sure you do ur homework…get to know him inside out….and develop a solid friendship and go from there…
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Oh yes the President sure nuff got him a Pretty First Lady
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homesteader I agree the First Lady is attractive, graceful, smart and she carries herself like a the true queen that she is.
What more could a man want in a woman?
I’ve still don’t understand the fuss about her not being very light or white. He married the woman he felt would bring out the best in him and inspire him to greatness.
I’d advise men to go after the woman that motivates him and makes him feel he can take on the world.
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I LOVE your comment AFgirl, it addressed everything so adequately your points are well taken.
I agree with Layla.
I’m gonna mention that I think it’s horrid that certain people want to lump all white people in the same category(cough cough *GLOCK* cough cough). When your skin is just that, your skin. The stereotyping that he is doing is wrong. We’re all one people and to say “us white guys” and other certain things in his ramblings just goes to show how high his level of thinking is. If he’s really into the thinking that every disagreement he receives is about the black people keeping the “white man’s” opinion down; I find that extremely saddening.
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lala2qz
You are correct it’s not about the color of the skin but it has everything to do with the THINKING of the person.
What’s in the heart comes out of the mouth or in this case the key board.
” It is what it is “
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Good morning homesteader, I always enjoy reading ur comments…Very positive….not to take away from anyone….Ladies ur comments are GREAT aw well….
HAPPY FRIDAY TO ALL!!!!!!!
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Lala2qz, was that a complete coherent thought?
I notice that no one has said anything to Cocosan? Noboady has based her or attacked her in anyway. To quote Cocasan, “blacks frequently jump to conclusions and engage in the mob mentality to prove a point.” Would that qualify as a “stereotype”? Hmmm… Now if I had said that would it be wrong for me to assume I would be tarred and feathered for it? Is it because she is black that she can make that claim and not be attacked? Please explain the obvious double standard…
Ah, yes NOPLAYER, I stand behind what I say.
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As a matter of fact, I did post a response to Cocosan. However, for some unknown reason it was filtered and was not posted or maybe my response would have started a blaze. Since, we are back on the topic: on February 17, Cocosan wrote a comment addressing talnwhite & Glock, stating: “don’t think for a minute that Nenalinda speaks for all (or even many) black women! Remember-that is HER personal opinion. Today I say to Cocosan: speak for yourself.
I personally did not like some of the comments posted by talnwhite and Glock I found them offensive. I also find that Cocosan is bias and jumps to conclusion. She was annoyed by Nenalinda’s comments to the point that she made statements questioning Nenalinda’s womanhood. It seemed that she did not appreciate Nenalinda’s comments towards Glock and talnwhite.
Point is, Cocosan obviously does not speak for the majority of black women. She did not speak for them on February 17 and certainty she is not speaking for them now. She speaks for herself as a bias Black woman. Furthermore, I would have appreciated if she had use actual statistic and not her opinions when she stated that “blacks frequently jump to conclusions” and “engage in mob mentality” As oppose to white, Chinese, Indian???
So, to answer you question. Yes I did respond. However, it was not posted.
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I remember it was all in the number of ducks . Alas positive thoughts are what makes Date Ting fun , Negative thoughts are just another way to say ” No ” . The sun shines Brightest on a Happy day . Let us place some numbers on topics ; Who wants to disagree _ _ _ Who wants to Agree _ _ _ and who does not give a Hoot _ _ _ . I for my Vote really do not give a Hoot , so now we got 0 – 0 _ 1
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Actually the question was for Lala2qz. But am I to assume you are the spokeswoman for the black female majority? Since you stated:
“Point is, Cocosan obviously does not speak for the majority of black women.”
Or was that your opinion versus an actual statistic?
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I could poll the entire website, that still does not represent the entire black female population. As you know there are many variables to stats. However many posts that are on this particular thread disagreeing with me, I have received just as many private emails from black women that say they agree with me. So much for polls.
As far as “stealing” the show, that certainly wasn’t my intention. I am just one man speaking his opinion that upset some people here. I will never be intimidated not to speak my mind however controversial it may be.
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I must admit I am somewhat invigorated by the lastest postings!
I do not apologize for any of my statements made during any of my posts – I have no reason to. I believe in what I say and I stand behind it. I do believe that perhaps the addition or deletion of certain words in key places may (or may not) have caused some readers to interpret my statements in a manner inconsistent with the intended meaning.
As I stated before, there is nothing wrong with intelligent dialogue and spirited debate. If someone is unclear about another’s statements, simply as that person for clarification. Validation trumps assumption any day.
Stating something as fact does not make it a fact. (In my opinion) we all would benefit by entering into dialogue realizing that opinions will be verbalized as such and facts will be clearly identified with supporting data (ie stats).
I will never be able to speak for all black women. I have no reason to disrespect anyone – male or female. I do take offense to people stating something as fact when it is really their interpretation of a statement. However, I also realize that if that person has a need to do so, there is nothing I can do about it and the FACT remains that my authentic statement is still just that – mine.
I spend many of my formative years living in Europe and am still amazed at the difference in culture between the US and Europe. I remember listening to people energetically verbalizing their opinions, disagreeing with each other and laughing the entire time! That is spirited debate and intelligent dialogue – in my opinion.
At the end of the day or at the end of reading one another’s comments, we will still be who we are but richer for having heard what someone else had to say.
I believe all dialogue enriches or enlightens me in some way – regardless of who says it or what is said.
I hope that at some point, we can freely and respectfully express our individual opinions. Until then I respectfully suggest that some people might want to try a different site…just my opinion!
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Glock… I love how you stand by your point! And everyone else on this site that is hating on him…please learn to read. He did NOT write anything racist whatsoever. Apparently, your reading and taking in what YOU want and not what is actually written. Seriously, some of the women sound more racist than anything Glock has said..STOP IT!!
We can agree to disagree and move on. I enjoy a good debate but wow, some of you just take it too far!
Glock…Smiles!!
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lola, I agree with you – some of this has just gone too far! A good debate is a stimulating as well as enlightening event – but it has to be seen as just that – an event!
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Glock ! You are still the man of the hour. So, are you interviewing for spokeswomen?
)
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Females and Males will always interpret , thoughts of others . With how they think they see what others are thinking with written word . Alas what you read , was not what I really said . Sometimes ! God Bless you all . As I have fun reading topics / and I learn from what others say , never too old to Enjoy . Difference of opinion is why we comment here on topics , Who cares who is correct or incorrect . Communication is the first step to Learning about the Good people here on this site
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Amen, Homesteader… that says it all…. it’s a free world. Your opinion is as important as mine. It’s wonderful we all have the opportunity to speak our mind openly.
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Thank you Lola3 for your kind words, as you said, I do stick by what I say. Cocosan, again you make another great point about discussion, opinions, ideas and the freedom/ importance of being able to debate them. As can be seen here, often times people will resort to hyperbole during their diatribes because that is what stirs emotions and often times has the effect of “rallying the troops” to their defense.
As you said Lola3, and I have asked repeatedly exactly what I said that was “racist” but as of yet no one has taken me up on it. The closet stab that anyone has taken was the “neck of the woods” thing, which was laughable at best.
This whole attack was started because of my post about Hatsheput’s statement (which apparently has been removed). I disagreed with her and pointed out the points that I disagreed about to her. Then the onslaught began LOL. Talnwhite stepped in and made some very valid arguments about voting patterns and other issues dealing with race, then he and I were attacked as being racist! LOL I just don’t get it. Neither one of us called anyone the “N” word but simply expressed our views and opinions. Do people really think that the topic of race will never come up in an interracial relationship?? Is this how people are going to handle their disagreements with their other half when an issue about race comes up? We learn from others opinions, at least try to understand their experiences.
Lastly, no Esmayali, I am not running for spokeswoman. I would get fired my first hour that is, if I made it out of the interview process! I’ll leave that up to you beautiful ladies.
Take care.
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It is my hope that everyone who participated in or simply read this blog goes away having experienced something positive. Maybe some of us heard an opinion different from our own or were exposed to a new level of communication. Maybe the experience just allowed some to get something off their chest.
Race is a topic that will be with us always. People who are involved in interracial relationships deal with it all the time – at least that has been my experience. Yes, outsiders can be cruel but I have found that a significant amount of that cruelty was based on ignorance. By “ignorance” I mean lack of (or negative) understanding, exposure or experience. I must admit, initially I had some difficulty with the continuous bombardment of comments etc. and there were some heated discussions between myself and my partner as a result. It was not until I realized that I was reacting on an emotional level (I felt hurt that people would treat my partner and myself with such disrespect for no reason other than our skin colors were different) rather than on an intellectual level that it was no longer an issue for me as a person or as part of an interracial relationship. I also had to realize that many of the people who disrespected my partner and I were doing so out of emotion, past experiences and their perception of what we represented. I actually dated a black man several years after the interracial relationship ended and he asked me if I would ever date a white man and when I told him about my past relationship, he actually launched into a lecture about the “Willy Lynch Letter” and how I had allowed myself to be used to pass on the tactics outlined by Lynch in his letters and therefore I was personally contributing to the emasculation of the black male. Later I found out his wife had left him and was now married to a white man. That was his experience but I see the connection between his lived experience and his behavior towards me. I did not agree with his behavior etc. but I understood the cause.
Life will never be perfect as there are no perfect players. My goal is to enjoy it to the fullest – imperfections and all! I select my battles carefully and race, especially in my personal relationship, doesn’t even show up on my radar. We can talk about it but there will be no battles.
Just expressing my $5 (allowing for inflation) lol
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I surely agree with ‘ coming from my neck of the woods ” . As was taught that meant the region one is from , in my case Yankee comes to mind – when I think of neighbors comments , I will let them know that my homestead is in Texas and as long as I am home / I am Texan . Alas one has no choice where they are born American / Southern bye the grace of God . Call me what you wish , Just never late for Dinner
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Homesteader, you are a refreshing breeze! I enjoy reading your comments. Thank you for your sense of humor and transparency!
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Wow, I can’t believe how long this conversation/debate has been going on. This just goes to show that race/color is a highly volatile subject. But regardless, it’s a topic that we should all be able to freely discuss and move on from. It’s how we learn. I hope that everyone who has participated in this blog has taken something away from the blogs. BTW Homesteader – what time is dinner?
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People are not taking sides….all have expressed there points and opinions….few people went farther than others….and trust me…WE ALL SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMETHING OUT OF THE DISCUSSION…NOW, CAN WE ALL MOVED FOWARD WITH MEETING THE WONDERFUL MEN & WOMEN HERE ON THIS SITE AND POSSIBLY MAKING THAT CHEMISTRY/CONNECTION????? P.S. IM WITH YOU RARESTGOLD….HOMESTEADER- WHAT TIME IS DINNER???? LOL
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