Dating-How much should you reveal

Posted by James, 19 May

Dating can be quit tricky. Have you ever found yourself in the dilemma of ‘To tell or not to tell’? Does your spouse have a tendency to say things that would be better left unsaid?

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Honesty in a relationship is very important. But so is being wise. We may fill the urge to lay everything on the table for the sake of building a relationship based on trust. But then again, don’t you think it’s wiser to leave some things unsaid for the sake of the relationship.

The video speaks for itself. Some things are better left unsaid. And sometimes, being a little selfish and lying for the sake of the relationship is necessary. Just don’t get caught ;-)

The truth can make or break a relationship. I was watching this TV programme "Desperate Housewives" (I AINT GAY GUYS JUST LOVE THE HUMOUR) when some dude named Ian revealed to the girlfriend just before their first humping that he has only been with one woman all his life. When the lady Susan said she had been with 9 men, it brought up issues and he man almost never got some… of course he did later on. Anyway at some point Ian told Susan that he is capable of having meaningless sex too which set Susan off to calling the man VIRGIN+1. That killed me with laughter.

Anyway the thing is this brought a problem at that moment and the mood that had been set vanished!! Kapoot. :lol: I think intimate details about previous relationships should be buried with the past coz they will make the other feel like a whore or inadequate for that matter.

As much as we may want the truth, don’t you think revealing too much or the unnecessary may impart insecurities, serious questions or comparisons to an otherwise secure and trusting partner. And then there is the dilemma of keeping things only for your spouse to find out later and flip. So what do you do then? How do you explain that one?

My motto is… Better to be in the dark. So what if you banged 1000 men or cheated on your former boyfriend? It’s none of my goddamn business. I don't need to know. Problem is we men usually go fishing… STOP IT!!! Not that I don’t get tempted once in a while. :-)

Tags: dating, honesty

3 responses to "Dating-How much should you reveal"

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  1.   jai44 says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    When anyone enter into a new relationship honesty should be a priority. But i also believe i do not have to reveal my past. The past is the past. However if there is something in my past that might affect the person that i am wih now i believe he has a right to know the right to make his w decision to stay or go. One's past can be painful and trust has to be there before i would open up completely. Trust is earned. I think people sometimes forget that

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  2.   reynalocita says:
    Posted: 24 Feb 09

    I agree with Sandy. No reason to lie for any sake. Just tell them it does not matter, it was in the past, and this is the present. But NEVER lie. There is no point in it.

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  3.   Sandy says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 07

    I totally disagree that you should "lie for the sake of the relationship." That's just an excuse for being a coward. Either tell the truth or say nothing at all. But don't lie. If you are lying,it's probably not to spare the other person's feelings, but for selfish reasons, like not wanted to deal with the consequences of what you've said. Tell the truth, be a grown-up and deal with the fall-out. If you feel something is best left unsaid, THEN SAY THAT... and explain why you feel it is not something you care to discuss at that time. You don't have to reveal everything. But you never have to lie. And lying does not help a relationship. It just adds another brick to the wall between two people. Enough lies and pretty soon you find you don't even really know each other. Honesty is the best policy... always... period.

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