Reaction of whites to interracial unions between colored people (revised)
Sorry about the earlier mix up in this post.
Many people react negatively when they see a member of their culture/ethnic group with a member of another ethnic group. “What are our men/women doing with outsiders?᾿ This is a reaction that is almost the expected reaction.
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Well am not against interracial unions so before you start with the cursing, hold them horses. However you will agree with me (those who will) that I am merely stating something that is not inconceivable… most people might feel that they should stick with their own kind.
According to an article I read the other say, strange as it may look, for some whites, this negative reaction to interracial unions goes way past white/non-white couples. There have been a few incidents I may have encountered that made this register with me. For example one day, a black man walked by holding an Asian woman. Then a white dude next to me said "It is strange to see a black man with an Asian woman". So why is it not weird when a white man is with an Asian woman?
I may be overreacting and if so, then let me know. But has anyone ever noticed this? So what is the difference between white men dating Asians and black men who date Asians? Both are interracial unions.
My pal was telling me black-Asian couples encounter more explicit forms of white disapproval. This, I am trying to swallow. If we go by the normal excuse of disapproval - “purity being at stake᾿ – then what does a black-Asian couple got to do with the white community’s purity being threatened? Clearly, that cannot apply to this case. So what is the reasoning behind it then?
In an article The Art of War the author tried explaining this reaction. "the yellow woman is considered the white man's exclusive toy, and he is not willing to share this toy with other men of any color". Does this mean that whites only approve of interracial unions they are involved in? Do they feel the same resentment when it’s a white women dating Asian men or are they ok with it.
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Responses to "Reaction of whites to interracial unions between colored people (revised)"
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Rmel says:Posted: 07 Apr 10
I can't get passed "unions between colored people". I agree with "Smile" on everything. Thanks for your common sense brotha. Peace.
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Smile says:Posted: 06 Apr 10This is so SAD, reading these threads make my heart tremble ever so often, I feel like there's so much self hate and need for acceptance and more-so revenge on SOME black men for their mistakes of the past and some of the present!!! I am a black man born of my father and mother and I don't ever see any other woman if she's not black, the thing however that throws me off is attitude and I'm not saying this is a black woman thing at all... I've met and have had some beautiful relationships with some lovely sistas and I will never ever forget any of them and I know I WILL have long life with a beautiful SISTA! But reading some of these crap on here makes me wonder what's going on with our community and the mind set of our people very very sad... This feeling of acceptance from the white man will land you people somewhere you wished you never asked for period and I know its looking all rose and beautiful right now but hmmmmmm I do feel sorry for you all...You black men and women are working on destroying an entire existence and in doing so you're working against the creator whom have created US FIRST!!! Blkprinc and brownclown you both opened up my eyes to something that I was thinking about a long time ago but never had the nerve to say out loud, so I said I don't see any other race of woman other than black for any other purpose other than friendship, does that make me RACIST? I think not!!! I treat everyone as they treat me and I show respect to all but something always nags me when ever I read things like this it often shows itself. This is not about attraction at all, Its pure and simple revenge and self hatred in you people... To disrespect each other in the way I'm seeing calls into question the mind set of you all and god judge me if I'm wrong this has nothing to do with attraction, nothing to do with LOVE, nothing to do with preference just down right hatred, disrespect for self, history, parents, and everything that is responsible for you all very existence on this earth!!! There are millions of beautiful men and women around this world you mean none of you can't find each other? This has nothing to do with white people just our community... Respect
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brownclown says:Posted: 22 Dec 09I think Blkprinc raises a few points in one. Do black women have an unhealthy obsession with being excepted by white men? Maybe it's because white men by virtue of their influence on society, determine who and what is beautiful. Also because black male female relationships have seemingly reached an all time low, many black women are wanting to establish a viable alternative.
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Blkprinc47 says:Posted: 09 Dec 09The bigger question is why is it important to so many black women that white men except them - seems like some emotional issues are at play here. Are black women implying they have no worth as a woman until a white man expresses a desire in them - kinda of sad.
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Member says:Posted: 26 Jun 09
Is that an Asian woman with a Black man in the pic? I wish I saw that combination more often. Sadly, a number of Filipinas (not all, of course) have told me they don't like Black-American men, they said they want White-American men. Ironically, I've heard some of them complain about racism against White-Filipino relationships. Is that not a fine example of racist hypocrisy?
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REDRAIN says:Posted: 12 Apr 09
"Homesteader" I don't care. The companies need to stop hiring ONLY MEXICANS and start giving EVERYONE a job. There is a new trend where people are only being hired just because they are mexican and will take a cheap wage and only being hired if they speak spanish. That is nothing but descrimination and it is the same as saying "whites only" on job applications and places of business. EVERYONE deserves a job not just mexicans or spanish speaking people. Because EVERYONE works hard we all have bills to pay.
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homesteader says:Posted: 11 Apr 09
REDRAIN ; I told only of the Words that , I had personally heard over the Past 40 years [ the people who said these Words - Said " Mexican " ] to me . Look in society ; check out the ones who gather with friends on the corner , drinking , smoking and laughing and complaining about Lack of employment opportunities . While when I was hungary , I would be seen Limping door-to-door making out applications all day after day after day on Foot [ Make sure to leave your phone number as we shall call you if a job becomes available - I was on the street looking for a job and could not be home awaiting a call at the same time ] . Reading two newspapers every evening / Seeking a job in the Employment sections . Check out the people similiar to Me . I live in Texas , after months of looking for a job within a hundred miles of my Homestead - with no success . I took a Greyhound bus to Utah seaking employment after a week there with no job in site . I Finally took the same busline to Arkansas / I cleaned offices and moved boxes in the storage rooms for the secretarys at Harold Ives Trucking for weeks waiting on the chance to Run the highways with a Trainer Driver . I had driven other trucks / Safely , Honestly and with Punctuality for my Deliverys [ which I unloaded by hand ] over 20 years and due to fuel shortages - my company that I had worked went under and was no longer in business . Qualifications in all fields of Employment regardless of heritage . Alas : I PERSONALLY has worked beside Spanish Heritage people from Mexico as they shared their roll up flour tacos with grond up beans , rice sausage and scrambled eggs with me because I worked side -by-side with them in over 100 degree heat and I was hungry . I am sorry for ruffling your feathers - I also speak of History [ IN THE LAST 40 YEARS ] History being as full of Hard times for Me as any other person . These are facts ; as I have PERSONALLY seen it Happen . In Texas where We live . Please do not Blame Me / for companies not being able to pay decent wages or like WalMart - only starting people part-time at a lower wage which after transportation costs to be able to get to work / makes it hard for families to purchase a gallon of milk for their children . Prisoners incarseration cost $80,000.00 per prisoner or more to support criminals eating habits . Politicians who wether they win re-election or not still draw a quarter million dollars a year for making laws and spending money we as a government don't have . I have totally no control over " What Should be " , I am just an observer of Life as I have seen it . " Sitting here smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo - don't tell me I got nothing to do " . Being Disabled at the age of 18 made my life hard / I did not however , sit and complain about it nor did I Quit looking . Thank you .
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REDRAIN says:Posted: 11 Apr 09
A big problem is the people that DELIBERATELY keep racism and stereotypes alive. Many people stupidly say, "Oh, It's human nature" as if we are all born hating everyone that does not look like us. Hatred is not human nature, it is taught and conditioned. You don't see 2 month old babies talking about how they hate black women and interracial couples. You see people who are taught when they are very young to hate other people. In America, the white supremacist society that rules over the country uses black women as a punching bag and play toy. That is why black women are always viewed as sub-human or "not good enough," because the ruling society hates our guts and they want to ALWAYS make it known. This is not something that comes from the sky or grows on a tree, It Is kept up by people and they do It on purpose.
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REDRAIN says:Posted: 11 Apr 09
"Alas they will work while others just complain that they would not do the same jobs for the Lower wages . People are no different / some are just Lazy and Like to Bitch ." Bull. THEY will work because americans that are NOT mexicans are being kept out of jobs because the companies would rather hire mexicans who work for cheap pay rather then americans who want a living wage. People are "bitching" because mexicans are being chosen for jobs over other people because mexicans will work for low pay. That is not something to brag about. EVERYONE should be given a job, not just mexicans that will work for cheaper pay.
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homesteader says:Posted: 10 Apr 09
In the State of Texas , where We live it was Mexico that ruled up until 1835 when Stephen F. Austin and a bunch of regulars finally caught their troops sleeping and Established Rule . This in no way changed the Fact that Our State was populated Largely by People of Mexican Heritage . They only beat the ruling class / they did not eliminate the people who had lived here long before that victory . Amounting to the Fact that most of the other Nationalities of people here are immigrants from other places . We live here and really could careless about peoples Heritage / Life in Reality is how one acts toward another , not where you come from . I moved to Texas about 40 years ago and have heard people complain that Mexicans will work for nothing - Alas they will work while others just complain that they would not do the same jobs for the Lower wages . People are no different / some are just Lazy and Like to Bitch .
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fkoi says:Posted: 10 Apr 09Man this was a hot topic. The fire has died down a bit since September. I think I'll throw another log on the fire and see what happens! This country was founded on prejudice. It is the American way and the way of most other peoples as well. One group considers itself superior to another and uses that notion as a rationalization for all sorts of atrocities. Long before Dutch settlers tried to take advantage of natives by "buying" Manhattan for a pittance (while the natives ran their game on the Dutch by charging them an exorbitant $27 to pass through in peace), Algonkian fought Iroquois, brutalizing, enslaving and raping each other. The cotton and tobacco trades base on enslavement of Africans built commerce in the colonies. Factories owners of one religion felt no qualms in wage-slaving those who belonged to another in order to build industry. It goes on and on. Fast forward to today. A Black man and his family get to move into the White House; and through the front door. At the same time people are screaming to "close the borders" to protect what was stolen fair and square. Sadly, this is sort of human nature. Folks look at the differences instead of identifying with the similarities. Perhaps the most maligned people in the history of the world, at least the Western world, are the Jews. Even so, for some the notion of marrying a "Goy" is unacceptable. It is no wonder that some on all sides of the racial/cultural divide rebel against intermingling. Perhaps the real wonder is that so many of us see the ignorance of that way and open our eyes and our hearts to people regardless of their shells.
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Ursue says:Posted: 05 Sep 08Vt, You are so correct. I even enjoy the freudian slip. Somehow I can't compare a dwarf being run out of a club with the fact that I wouldn't go into a club as a black woman for fear of someone offering me money for sex because I was alone single and black. However, we are striking back and in ways it is working. I lived on campus. And to the horror of my sista hatin brothers and their white friends I heard the comment about a white gentleman whose hygiene had improved:" That Boy got a Black lady for a girlfriend. You know they keep dey men up." This was from a White girl. It startled the black men who were runnin Black women down to hear such a truth being spoken aloud. I loudly agreed and added that the abscence of those dreaded muttonchops made him edible.( I think the phrase was "gooe enough to eat"). Sure enough, his girlfriend arrived. She was darker than most. She was an Education major. She was a longtime defender of Black womanhood. Nuff said. Keep up the fight!
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Member says:Posted: 24 Aug 08
To Ria, I'm going to ignore everyone else who jotted down an ignorant response and just answer your ignorant question. First, I don't understand how you can be so one-sided with your own racist views. I lived in Korea....and I can tell you that asian men beat up some white male soldiers that lived there who dated their asian women on at least 2 occasions that I personally know of. There was also a lot of black male soldiers who dated asian girls. Not one white guy ever said anything. Also one of my closet friends who is black only likes foreign asian women. He doesn't like american women. And he's never encountered any problems that I know of. Maybe he was just lucky or maybe you like to exagerate. I don't like hypocrysy in anyone. It's the one trait that most people have and don't think its a big deal. If you were not prejudiced in anyway..you would have wrote the title of your blog... "any and to all interacial couples ...have you found problems with other races not accepting you?" See..this is an open minded question...not limited to ...hey white people have a problem not accepting...blah-blah.. White women by the way have proven to be the MOST open to interacial dating...its pretty obvious. I'm sure you can agree to that. So..."common sense" here is that they will have less of a problem accepting interacial dating then women who aren't as open minded about interacial dating. Asian women do date outside their race but not as much as it seems with white women. Then at the very bottom of open-mindedness are black women who I remember in college nearly 2 decades ago absolutely had no interest in dating outside their race. No one left them out...they CHOSE this. The last few years it seems some black women don't have a problem with it. It seems more common these days. I'm actually very happy about that. Although lets be clear...the only men that I have seen have a problem with this is black men..not white men. Thats common sense. If you can't see that..thats because you have your biased views and only want to see what you see, regardless of common sense or facts. Also if a black man chooses to date nothing but a white or asian woman....thats his choice. He doesn't have to explain his reasons to you or to anyone. If this is what makes him happy...then leave it be. I met many white girls who date nothing but black men. I remember some just found black men physically attractive...which by the way, I found as an acceptable reason. But I also heard from other white women who claim that they felt ALL black men would treat them better and ALL white guys would mistreat them. That was pretty retarded of these white girls. It also lacked common sense on their part. And I was offended. Skin color doesn't make you a good or bad boyfriend...it also doesn't make you racist either. Meaning just because you are white..you don't automatically have a racist gene...and just because you're black, asian or whatever doesn't mean you are innocent victims of racism who are not racists themselves. This mentality is what I mean by hypocrysy. Apparently its okay for princess63 to ridicule overweight women but not black women. Its okay to make fun of white people but not black people. Its okay to be sexist of men but not of women. Its funny how its okay to look down on anyone that has nothing in common with you. I've heard overweight women ridicule skinny women. I also heard it the other way around. I've heard jewish, christian, muslim, hindu, budhist, and etc talk down about other religions...but whine when someone looks down on their own religion. I've heard every possible prejudice you can think of...and then I hear how its upsetting when someone they encountered mistreated them based on who they were. Look..I agree there are white jerks out there...but they are also good white people out there who don't deserve your ignorant biased views. But if you want to be enlightened and truly open-minded then you need to start by addressing your own prejudices. I saw a white female dwarf run out of a club some years back because some college white and black guys were making fun of her when she walked by. It was very cruel. I also seen how white, asian, black, hispanic, indian, and every other race, ethnic group of males treated an unattractive woman (regardless of race) compared to an attractive one (regardless of race). And believe me..they can be very demeaning. Especially when they are young men (regardless of their own race). My point is...you're only concentrating on a small portion of prejudice involving just the white people and ignoring your own prejudice and the prejudices of other black, asian, middle eastern and etc. I know that I'm truly open minded because I have the wisdom to see my own mistakes and have the nobility to admit them. You ever noticed how men in general... and must I say this again.."regardless of their race"... whine how women are gold diggers and they can't stand that about them?? They claim its shallow. Yet these same men who constantly whine about that trait in women...they always FAIL to see how they ALWAYS run after the most beautiful women they can find and ignore those women who aren't as...cute. These guys can't see how shallow they are themselves. And I actually mention to several men over the years and their response was..."its not the same." But in reality it was the same...both ways of thinking were shallow...one dealt with money...the other in a young-nice body. Yet I have never been able to make them see that. That show.,,,beauty and geek?? Cute girls with goofy guys? But have you ever seen Cute guys with goofy unattractive girls for a show?? Anyway, you can think whatever you like. Spread your one-sided biased views. I've said what I needed to say. And I like to believe it didn't fall on deaf ears. I hope one day...we as the human race will grow up. But until then...take care.
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Member says:Posted: 22 Aug 08
hey prncess63 ...some white people do have a stereotype of black people......okay...that's true...yet why don't you mention how some black people have a stereotype of white people...such as yourself??? Let me explain to you...prejudice exist in all people of ALL RACES including you apparently. Who are you to question if a black man who wants to date only white women?? I have a lot of male black friends who have a preference for white women for whatever their reason. Some black, asian, white, hispanic, indian etc have a prefernce for women who are in shape and will not date an overweight woman.. what about that? There was a black woman from a few decades back that I really liked and she wouldn't date outside her race which hurt my feelings...but that was her prefence....yeah...I could have told her she was being racist bla-bla-bla....but in the end...its what makes her happy. The article above is about how whites react to interracial couples...what about the other way around??? You think black men don't get annoyed or say something when they see a beautiful black woman with a white guy? Do you lack wisdom? Yes it bothers them because it happened to me quite a bit. Usually these days I get some stares...but not once did a white guy look at us. I have no idea what it was like in the fifties..but I know for a fact that since the nineties...not one white guy gave a stare or said something. As for black men...yes they had some ..things to say. But for the last 3 years ..some black men just stare me down...which I can deal with. I bet you think you're not a racist...but technically you are...you have some prejudices...maybe they are small..but they are there...and those comments about fat dirt white women...you are a really ignorant. You realize how hard it is for overweight women to find men who aren't shallow? Are you saying they don't deserve someone? That's prejudice. It's disgusting. You know what's sad...you sound like you probably are attractive...and you have no problem getting men...but its sad how women whether they are black, white, asian, indian, etc...are really hot treat women or aren't as pretty. It's a shame that you were given the gift of beauty but not a good heart.
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prncess63 says:Posted: 07 May 08
I think that it is true that lots of people have their stereotypes of black woman, which is not fair nor right. I have so many woman friends who are black and they do not fit the stereotype that white people have given them. White people have this way of measuring everyone to their own standards and if someone is different from that, they "aren't as good". I don't think it should really be anyone elses' business who I date or who I marry or have kids with, but apparently other people think they should have the right to make judgements of me for this. I dated this black man once who really was prejudice against black people. I asked him once if he was a black man or an african american and his response: "I am a white man trapped in a black man's body" I felt and told him that is sad and disrespectful to his parents. I no longer dated him I do not want a black man who is not proud of who he is and where he is from. I also do not understand the mind of a black man who will only date white women no matter what. They will date a 300 lb white woman who does not have good hygiene, or a job, who does not care if what she is wearing is clean never mind whether it matches or not rather than a well groomed attractive black woman who has class and pride in herself, and works and takes care of her business. Now, you tell me, what is that about?? A white woman who is dirty, fat and low life is better than a clean, pretty, fit black woman??? I think not. I also don't want to date that black man either. However, I do prefer black men to white men. And I really don't think it is anyone elses's business who I date but, apparently many people do. White men think that black men are taking "their women" and that is insane because I were someone elses' woman, I would not be dating at all, because I would be faithful. some black women say we (white women) are taking their men. I have never dated, or tried to date any man married or man in a relationship. So, I am not seeing "their men" because the men I date are their own man, single and available and he has decided to date me. I just feel that there is so much more to a person than the color of their skin or hair or eyes or whatever. I would like for everyone to know that if you pass me on the street with a man I am dating and he is black, I will not react to your prejudices or looks or comments. I have never been ashamed of my choice in men, and all of you out there with problems with it can say what you want, but, I will always be proud of myself, and you will not cause me to be ashamed or ruffle me in any way.
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Meron says:Posted: 14 Apr 08Correct joeboy519! I agree! We can not help who we are attracted to. Outer or inner, we eventually fall in love with the one who keeps us happy and growing. After a few years, I stopped noticing those stare and comments. It's so much more prevalent now that hardly anyone stares, if at all, for long anymore.
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joeboy519 says:Posted: 07 Apr 08how can you blame/say an entire race feels this way because a couple do????? stupid post !!lots of my white boys in canada date black girls only.does this mean all canadian white men go after black women......ummmm nope everybody have there own sexual attraction. just cuz some do it dont blame an entire race!!!
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joeboy519 says:Posted: 06 Apr 08
how can u blame an entire race cuz how a couple people feel????? stupid post
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Meron says:Posted: 03 Apr 08
I've never had to worry being raised in a multicultural family and society. I do worry now, because i spend more time in the south; Texas and Louisiana. Up North and in So. California we mix well. My hometown of residency in calif. is a mix of mostly interracial couples, white and hispanics. If you are black, nine times out of ten you are paired with another race. (I think it is gravitational) I'm blessed with that there and when i head north. We, as stated previously, as humans need to leave, but not forget, the past. forgive! If it is not your cup of tea, don't drink it. You can judge kindly, in america you are free to your opinion. My biggest worry about a relationship, and have only been looking for about a year and a half, is that it is an experiment for him. I want the man in my life to love me for me and not just a color or features. I don't necessarily need him to do things that are ethnicly inclined to my race. Heck, I don't often do things that are prone to my ethnicity! I admit, I love the lighter or more tan skin colors, a few features; but, i feel more attracted to the things we have in common and his ultimate respect for me. If he respects me, then he is honest about what atracts him. Then I can know where ultimately his most important concerns in a relationship lies. And, if I can fulfill them! I'm still hopeful! Would welcome a little help here, Meron
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Freedom says:Posted: 22 Mar 08
I think in our current culture it is the image of Black women in association with rap videos and welfare mothers that are the two images that most determine how people see Black women. The Republican media machine that seeks to split off poor whites from poor blacks so that policies benefiting poor people don't get political support is what causes the perpetuation of the welfare mother imagery. For example, if you want middle class and poor whites to ignore a candidates voting against national healthcare, just convince him that the average beneficiary will be some lazy, black woman who wants you to work so your tax dollars will pay for all her out of wedlock babies. These stereotypes are kept alive because they serve an agenda. Similarly, look at how much money rappers and BET are making off the sex hungry/money hungry image of black women in videos. These videos are sent around the world and many are viewed by people who have never actually met a black woman in person. All they know of black women is what they see in the media. Yet who profits from these videos? Primarily black men, that's who. Then those same black men turn around and tell a black woman she should remain single for life if she can't find a black man that wants her, even though she has been so devalued that increasingly even black men hold racist attitudes towards black women and won't consider dating a black woman. Black women need to take control of some small slice of the media and they need to use it to present positive images of black women. I love Oprah, but with her power I would love to see her focus more on presenting shows that present a new cultural image of who the black woman is. I would love to see young black women who get their MBAs use them to start media businesses that also promote a positive image of black women. We cannot wait for white male republicans and black male entertainers to stop doing what they are doing to promote ugliness. We have to step forward and present an alternate message that breaks through and reaches the people who need to see it.
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diversity says:Posted: 17 Mar 08
I believe in what vt is saying, black women are not shown for their true value, and the strength, they have shown, in this country and places around the world. I work in research education, I noticed when it comes, to the black female, when something is bad, negative or unseemly, black woman, always fall in the highest percentage. Society likes to place black women at the bottom of the respect scale. Society do not like to see black women with anyone, I do not think they like to see them have a positive force in their life. We are always the single parent, manless, or perceived as uneducated, unfaithful and deceitful. Black women are strong, they have shown strength, they have survived and are always survivors, this is the reality of a black woman. Society know this is true, give us our props, acknowledge the black woman regardless of what background or country she comes from. There are black people all over the world, however, the black woman is always, devalued, she can be African American, Afro-Latina, Afro-European and Afro-Asian, we are a part of all cultures, and ethnicities, when there is color involved, it matters, and it should not matter. We need to be acknowledged, for our accomplishments, and our contribution to mankind. Every woman, should be cerebrated with the same merit, we have a strong position in life!!!
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Member says:Posted: 29 Feb 08
In the last 6 years that our daughter has desired a man of color, we've dealt with many common rejections. My husband's (her father) is not 'up for it', and I can't get through since he's not physically well. On the other hand, I see that there is a mind-set that he can depend on her, but there is no need for a Christian counsel in order to make this a true committment. I've learned that being prejuduced is not a horrifying state of mind. It is a person whose personal lives has been inexperienced with acceptance. Fear, more or less. And unless it's someone who is out to get the system to fall for their victimizing, it needs to be elevated by none other than the one who has started this thread.:)
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luckeyone says:Posted: 23 Jan 08
Ne'er took it .When i said to her that is racist ,she turned around and with strait face said ;i am not racist.;
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luckeyone says:Posted: 23 Jan 08
I think we react against interracial unions out of jealousy's, envys fears of changes period .I came from Europe when i was 30 years old .I didn't find melthing pot evryone was talking about .It does not exists ,same as for democracy, American politicians and media chirp about .Europe is not better .When i lived there we didn't have many blacks, Asians ,or Arabs ,but we directed our intolerance to people with different ,laguage ,dialect, stile of dress, religion., lack of suntan or to much of it. We all carry our prejudices wherever we go .Our children learn from it and so on .On recent visit to Atlanta my friend misplaced her expensive necklace and right of way she taught her made took it. During lunch hour ,after telling coworker about it ,her coworker ,who is white said ;N
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Member says:Posted: 22 Jan 08
For all you Black people who support interracial relationships with whites: http://www.blackwallstreet.freeservers.com/ Have a good think about what has been done to your people and also what you are doing to your own people. -Are you making us stronger or weaker?
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paul says:Posted: 23 Sep 07cocobunni that was amoving story as a white english guy ive always dated black females just my preference ive never had what youve been through maybe i was lucky my heart goes out to you girl x
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needrealdeal says:Posted: 21 Sep 07I've tossed all these blogs around a bit and allthough I'm not a deciding factor of anyones mind just by adding a piece of mine might help the littlest bit.Hopefully to bring aware ONE individule and enlighten them.If this occurs then once more knowledgable they will slowly "PASS IT ON" I've had good and bad experiences with black woman.My openness to loving another human being unconditionally isn't predudicial.WE are all HUMAN and the more people who realize the simplicity of that the better. I believe through experience knowledge is key and ignorance is no where near bliss.Who the hell wrote that anyway,we she smack'm. Women are women,mem are men.Some good some bad and some really great and extremely bad.Color shouldn't play a role.Unfortunatly in society it does due to steriotypeing.I feel upbringing has the most to do with a good connection when looking for a partner.The realation,understanding,moral code, instilled values,lingo,etc. have the biggest effect on how a match is made.The understanding of that bieng able to relate to each other forms a union. Two people who have grown to love,truely love one another becoming ONE in a strong union for a life commitment to each other is "TO EACH HIS/HER OWN" In time predudice of color will be gone with the little input of each individual spreads in a possitive way. There will always be some form of hate.Personally I can't stand people with the talent and/or abilities to move ahead in general.It's a waste of exsistance no matter who or what you are. I'm no overachiever but I do what I can to do right for me and mine. I've coming to you with all of this because I've been in a serious relationship with the most amazing woman I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'm a 37yr old white male,she a 43(just turned.)black woman.As a union we unfold each other and continuously feed of each other about real stuff,real to us and not having hit on racial issues as much as some might have to.WHY? Mostly because we have already proven our self worth within our families and environment to be trusted enough to make this decision and remain respected. The open mindedness and acceptance of our families (not to say there aren't ANY issues) but gaining all this from them,friends and co-workers is accepted for "who we are,not what we are." The world should see what we see.
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Jade74 says:Posted: 19 Sep 07Cocobunni,Thank you so much for your personal story of interracial love. It was very touching to read it and feel your pain.Thanks again for sharing.
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cocobunni says:Posted: 19 Sep 07Thanks Jade, It was a memory from the past, while reading all of the comments here, it just hit me. I'm in the process of searching once again for a love and I am going to make it a deliberate point of searching for exactly what I want. When you go to interracial dating sites, what do you all see the most? BLACK MEN, looking for non-black women. They sometimes will even send a nice breaker or what ever it's called to a sista. But their profile will say they are looking for non-black, and then all ethnicities. As if they will choose a black sista LAST. Women say they are looking for love, men say they are looking for a certain color or preference, right up front. Why is it that women don't state their preference up front? Will that hurt us or help us?
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Jade74 says:Posted: 18 Sep 07
Thank you so much Cocokisses.I know the feeling of Black women being devalued.Your personal experience of young innocent love,wow what a story.Im sure many others have simular stories to tell.Thank you for sharing it with us.Love you Sis.
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Cocobunni says:Posted: 18 Sep 07
Let me jump in here: I love all men, I am though tired of not feeling good enough for a black man. I am also tired of sitting at church watching all the black men walk in and have babies and white women on their laps and beside them. While black women are devalued. The black men don't speak, nor do the white women they are with. Even when the parents of the white women accept the man, they still look at a nearby BW as if she is going to try and take this man away. WE DON"T CARE. We want to be respected and loved for who we are. I wanted to date a white boy in 5th grade, mother said no" black girls don't date white boys". So I went back to school and gave him his ring back and told him that. " I can't be your girlfriend because your white." So sad, years later, freshman in high school, the only guy to send me flowers in school was a white boy, a year older, from England. We snoke around for quite a while. My black friends and family didn't know and his friends and family didn't know for a long time. One day after school, my brothers ( white) best friend seen us kissing good bye on a rainy day. My brother went home, told my parents and I got in trouble. My brother threatened him, but he didn't care. My white girl friends were more accepting at that time, them my black girlfriends. They thought I was a sell out. At night on the phone my brother would give me 15 min. to talk to him. During that time, his family finally figured out I was black, (because of my deeper sexier voice) of which I have always had. Well, anyway, then they began to give him a really hard time, began calling me a Ngr. ALL THE TIME, it was HARD for me to stay on the phone. He actually ran away. I talked him into going back home. This guy would bike 5+ miles to see me for 10 min, at night just to kiss, for 10 min. We were not sexually active. Very innocent love we had. He respected me. Well, guess what his friends finally figured it out, and his younger brother tried to run me over one day after school with his car. I couldn't take it, so I told him it was over. He knew why, and was pissed off. We NEVER spoke again in High School, until the day of graduation. Years later I was married to an abusive men, living on base, where his mother worked and I got the chance to confront her. I did it respectfully. She didn't know who I was, as she complimented by beautiful baby girl. I told her, and she said, she had messed up bad, and apologized. She said that her son was really upset about how they had treated me and that she knew that he loved me. He had since married the white girl, who was the next female he dated when we broke up. They are still married, he now lives back in our small town, when I see them, she is still so VERY insecure with my presence. He still looks at me the same. The look in his eyes, I have NEVER seen from another man, not even a black man, not even my husband. The look of desire and admiration. I don't ever talk about this, EVER, but today I wanted to tell you a story. I've never even posted here before. What I would not give to go back and do this again. I would tell my parents how I feel about him, and I would tell my boyfriends parents together with him, to just allow us a chance to be together, to let it be our choice. We would have been careful in every way. The punch line is this: His brother who tried to run me done with the vehicle, is married to a BW and has 4 kids. That happened about 4 years after HS. I was MAD when I heard that. Another punch: My brother has been married twice, both white women, has 6 children by them, 3 by each. He feels that black women should stay alone, if they can't find, get or keep a black man. I DISAGREE. The words we use and the insecurities we have are causing alot of pain for those we say we care for. Black women are so devalued it is sad. We have endowered through SO MUCH, and it's sad that even when our men were taken during the slave times, we stood strong for the family and never complained. Yet, they have forgotten how much we have done to keep them alive.
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Darklicious says:Posted: 11 Sep 07I have read some very good comments on this topic so I hope to add something that's good. ai am a black woman,that's right look at my nome, anyway I am from North Carolina and I see quite a few black females here with white men. I'm glad to see this because it gives me hope that maybe one day I'll be in a relationship like that. I am attracted to white men and any chance that I can get a little flirt in,I do.The reaction to my flirting is just like any man,they like it. I have found that when I am in need of help, car trouble or whatever,I can always depend on getting help from a white man,they are very polite and helpful.Usually a black man will go right by but the minute a white man steps in to help,they come back to help. I guess it shows just how little they think of black women. black women will always be better off if there is a white man around because I have never seen one that's not polite to us. Maybe things are changing and the white male is starting to realize that he does have an attraction to us and they are trying to see where it can go. Oh yeah white women do have a look that they give them when they see them with a black woman,yet white women will have a black man and think it's okay. I guess they want their cake and eat too. Darklicious
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vette says:Posted: 07 Sep 07i read the blogs one thing i didnt see anyone talk about is when article say "most people might feel that they should stick with their own kind". What I'm a dog and your a cat? We are all one kind, the human kind and until we embrace this notion we are all going to parish. vette
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latty says:Posted: 07 Sep 07
The person or whoever lion king is, it isn't necessary to say the first thing that clouds your head. The race of a person has nothing to do with intelligents or abilities to learn. Perhaps a class in socialogy and history will help you with knowledge of different raced and cultures accomplishmentd and than you can come back and write something more intelligent
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Jade74 says:Posted: 05 Sep 07
Thank you King Lion for the information and the reminder of The Song of Solomon.It is a Book of love and how deep the love was.Keep the comments coming.Thanks Cocokisses,Fala, Vt and Laugh Sailor.Each of you have much to cotribute to the blog.
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MsMackey says:Posted: 05 Sep 07
thank you King Lion I forgot about that, my mom and I was reading it after I saw your comment.. once again thank you M
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vt33 says:Posted: 04 Sep 07
My apologies to giving the wrong name Lawrence Parker, is the name not Chris.
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vt33 says:Posted: 04 Sep 07
Hmm.. I am still a bit lost, people have now went to quoting the good book and calling children who aren't of two different hues...whats the word I am looking for....I will let you all fill in the blank. I will say that statement does takes me back to when children of lighter hues were considered better than children of darker hues. One could also associate that with the slave factor. The darkest were in the field, and the lightest worked in the house and were chosen favorites over the dark. Check the scrolls of the National Honor Society you will see equally a number of children of african americn descent on that roll. They are not all off spring of two different backgrounds. A lot of them are from single parent homes, and their parents are blue collar workers with high school diplomas. Folks lets not put down each other with this topic. Also lets not offend those parents who blog on this site, about their children and their backgrounds and their lack of education. It appears, there are still some social problems within our community. To justify it by putting scientifically in front just, cuts like a knife. Lion with all do respect, Booker a Rhodes Scholar, Barack a well educated man, both his parents were scholars and of different hues, that does not make either of the two smarter than Professor West or Chris Parker. Chris Parker is a perfect example of a scholar, he came from a so so background, made his mark on the world, became socially aware, got educated, has been homeless, and has been a speaker at Columbia Universit all in his lifetime. Ria, I think even with the revised issue of this blog, and the current statements posted. Society will never accept couples of different hues. William Melvin Kelly wrote a short story The Only Man on Liberty Street, I received the book from a woman who was cleaning out her attic, and was told this will guide you from no one to someone. At first I was insulted by her statment. I open the book and it was written right in the front cover of the book, by her I am not sure! The woman died a few years later, a man came around to sell the house. I went to return the book really to be nosey. I was in awe, this pretty dark lady came to the door with a white man. He was my neighboors son and his wife, and the book was his, he told me keep it and pass it on to another mind eager to understand. Thing is I never knew she had a son. That book taught me humility and that it is okay to be different, and that we can live together in society and not be so judgemental. It takes character and heart to do so, somthing that you don't need intellect to acheive. You want a topic Ria here you go, Why can't we get past the different hues of black issue, and how it plays a role in our choices in our life, whether it be, romance, education, lifestyle, and why do some black think that being of two cultural backgrounds make you superior to others. You not gonna get to many more of these out of me Ria, unless we got a job offer on the table..lol.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 04 Sep 07King Lion, thanks for a very enlightening post.
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SuntanMan says:Posted: 04 Sep 07
In the words of the dub poet Mutabaruka. "Anyone don't like it, can bite it." Ms Mackey, all I will say on the matter is that earth is black or dark, so man being formed from the earth must have been dark as well. In Ethiopia, the nobility is of a light complexion. They see themselves as neither black or white, but a race unto themselves. They are known as Amhara. Their roots come from the love of King Solomon for the Queen of Sheba and is outlined and documented in the bible as the Song Of Songs. Magnificent prose that inspires love for all the world to share. Check it out! It is also proven scentifically that mixed-race children of black-white descent are intellectually smarter on average than the general non-mixed populace. To further support this is the knowledge that most ppl involved in interracial marriage are usually found to be better educated having post secondary degrees. On the surface it appears that sex plays a big part in ppls reactions. So true, but so what? Any negative reaction is indicative of the insecurity and ignorance of outsiders, neither of which is attractive. Positive reaction on the other hand is indicative of open minded understanding or genuine love and appreciation of all our brothers and sisters regardless of class, race or skin color.
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MsMackey says:Posted: 04 Sep 07
was Adam and Eve an Interracial couple? Gen 1:27-ch 5 GOD created MAN in HIS OWN IMAGE Gen 1:26- 2:7 he (Adam) was placed after his creation in the garden of EDEN the LORD caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and took one of his ribs and made woman Adam said this is now bone of my bone flesh of my flesh Gen 3:20 and Adam called his WIFE the name Eve;because she was the mother of all living... thus all living human being are descendants of the first women and which her name describes her physical appearance and the lord made bodies of water to THE GARDEN OF EDEN and from thence it was parted into four heads = four different ends of the river THE FIRST Pison meaning= sandy land = EGYPT in africa the white nile and where desert and gold is THE SECOND Gihon meaning= the one that winds through the whole land of cush= CUSH is the brother of EGYPT =Nubia this day in age = NILOTIC SUDAN the WHITE and the BLUE river join at Khortoum to form the mightiest river in AFRICA then it empties into the Mediterranean Sea then goes off to the north west side of Ethiopia the BLUE NILE and then from SUDAN it goes down the end in UGANDA Gen 4:1 , 2 Adam and Eve conceived and bared a son name CAIN and she said I have gotten a man from the Lord. and then she bared his brother Abel Gen 5: 3 and Adam lived a hundred and thirty years and begot a son in HIS OWN LIKENESS after HIS IMAGE and called his name SETH so with that said how many of you feel the same after reading that? and people should not look at a black woman and a white man being together differently but they do that is one of the man reasons why my son's father and I are not together this day.... M
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Ria says:Posted: 03 Sep 07
Haha... nice one vt33. At this rate, I will have to invite you to be a guest blogger. Why not pick a topic of choice and I'll post it. You have really kept me on toes.
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vt33 says:Posted: 03 Sep 07
I will say I don't know what to think of this "revised" blog. What you are saying this is about the white reaction to Asian and white relationships. Sorry Ria, no offense but asian women and black and white men have been hooking up for years. No reaction to it, it is deemed exotic. When it is white women black men,or white men and white men it gets the reaction. Perhaps you should have took this one as Are Asians considered exotic, and more acceptable in society than black and white relations. Bottomline no matter how you change it, you are still boasting one race and to a certain degree putting down another. Just a thought.
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people should not worry about who someone is dating need to tend to their on affairs. nothing is wrong with dating outside of your race.love sees no color Jesus said marry who you love. this race thing needs to stop doesn,t make any sense.