My imperfect couple

Posted by James, 26 Feb


‘My imperfect couple’… this is what most multicultural couples turn out to be after a few years of marriage. The pushing and pulling begins. This is after realizing the once so perfect spouse, aint that perfect after all. This is after realizing that their cultures are totally different that it ends up putting a strain on their marriage. It is not easy having to deal with the differences and the pressure from family and friends.

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The perfect couple… we all know them… the couple on almost every wedding cake… and the secret to their perfection is because their eyes don’t meet. They dont get to see the other person's imperfection. (I got that one my favorite show - desperate housewives.) That is actually true. Everyone experiences their perfect moments in a relationship. That is when we have just met and we don’t know each other’s dirty little secrets or nasty behaviors. And once we start analyzing one another for who we truly are, then we turn into ‘my imperfect couple’ in no time.

If couples borrow the secret from 'the perfect couple', then we might just make it. Culture is just culture. It’s a way of life yes. But instead of having a tag-of-war competition about it, it’s easier not to analyze. And instead of doing the analyzing why cant two people just ignore the world and come up with their own way of life… their own culture? Wont it be easier to stop clinging on to our past cultures and come up with something that is acceptable to the both of you?

If we decide to be the couple that doesn’t look at each other on the wedding cake then maybe most multicultural relationships won’t suffer much… We’ll all get along…

5 responses to "My imperfect couple"

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  1.   Eric_T says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 08

    I see it like this..., there's no such thing as perfect. The deal is, if you can see a person for who they are and it inspires a desire to serve them for the rest of your life..., guess what? That's what it's all about. See, the thing is, marraige is a covenant and not a contract. A covenant is a solemn promise you make to someone freely with no requirements from them. So with that in mind, you're gonna have to be inspired by their character. Cause no matter what they do..., and yes, this is true, your part of the covenant is blind to their part. So if you freely give yourself to the other in covenant, you just made the deepest of promises to serve them till they die. Kind of like a bondservant. Interesting huh? But what does this have to do with perfect couple stuff? Flaws are flaws. The presence or absence of flaws in a relationship are not the determinants of whether the relationship is perfect. The true measure of perfection in relationships is directly related to the degree that both parties selflessly give of themselves to each other. Culture doesn't affect this. And there really isn't much apart from individualism and selfishness that cause problems in relationships. Really, when it comes down to it all infractions in a relationship stem from some form of selfishness from one or both.

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  2.   nocolor says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 07

    Wow of these three blogs these seem to be the most honest and what people are really supposed to be. Accepting making changes although our society says we shouldn't change just for another just learn to deal... I think it works both ways and not always with equal percentage. Not letting society determine who or what we are but to be our selves the greatest gift any of us can give another is love and true love is despite one's differences. Love God with all our heart soul and mind, and love othes as we love ourself. Basically everything is based on this. Look at it this way when our days on this earth are over and perhaps our loved ones have said good bye don't we cross over by ourselves? So at the end of the day who gets to tell you who to love the choice is yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3.   hiimsteph says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 07

    wow, this article brings up many concerns I have about marrying my current. We both love each other and I just dont want our socio-cultural differences to hurt our marriaage. I want , if anything, that we grow together from it.

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  4.   Debbie says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 07

    Pefection is what you make of it. I am now attracted to white men and when I find my Mr. Special I will not allow other or our culture to Determine how we should live. I look at starting a new relationship as a new beginning. You make it what you want, if there is something that upset you about the other half, be an adult about it, let them Know how you are feeling and how to make it better. Never be surprise or shock when you find out something new about your other half. Remember that you can know a person for a lifetime and yet still not know them. Life is good see the good and deal with the bad. If the person hasn't committed any crimes, well deal baby, only if you want to make it work. There are lots to share and learn from each other.

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  5.   Sassy64 says:
    Posted: 04 Mar 07

    i dont know if i agree that the couple on the wedding cake is perfect. i do think that if you truelly get to know the insides of a person before you marry them then the "imperfections " can be dealt with. my thoughts on that is that no one is perfect. i have learned to ask three questions before i decide tht ssome thing is big enough to make a deal about it. how important is it to that person. how important is it to me. will it really matter in the long run. once i answer those i know whether to let it go or cnot.

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