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Essence reader calls cover model a white supremacist

Posted by James, 11 Jan

essence on reggie bushThe February issue of Essence Magazine: Black Men, Love & Relationships, has Reggie Bush, the NFL player who is in an interracial relationship with Kim Kardashian. The main focus for this issue is celebrating Black love. Having Reggie on the cover really aroused a flood of seething comments from readers just because he is dating a non-black woman and the magazine targets Black women.

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Here one of those comments:

“Why is there a white supremacist on the cover of Essence magazine? Because any person who thinks white women are better is indeed a white supremacists. Having this man on the cover is beyond offensive to me as an African American woman. He is just another crude reminder of all the black men who perpetuate racism against black women, by rejecting them and showing the utmost disrespect by choosing to date non-black women”

So, what is so wrong with celebrating the committed and loving interracial relationship of this Black man? Assuming the issue was about Black women, love and relationships and Halle Berry was on the cover that’s celebrating Black love, would we have seen the same reaction?

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192 responses to "Essence reader calls cover model a white supremacist"

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  1.   sherrie8221 says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 10

    Wow...why is he a white supremacist because he's in a relationship with a woman (Kim) who is NOT black? This is the dumbest thing i've read in a while.Yes i'm a black woman,i think the problem within the black community is acceptance.A lot of blacks are not capable or able to accept interracial relationships.My boyfriend is white and we've been together for a year and a half...love is color-blind and has no boundaries.Black women seem to think that if a black man is successful and marries or is dating a white woman;he's a sell-out or he's only dating a white woman because he can't handle a "real" and "strong" SISTA....Please stop this madness and ignorance.Oh and stop thinking that white women are taking or stealing all the "good" black men away from them.

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  2.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 10

    I continue to be amazed at the responses this topic generates. What amazes me is the responses from people who 1) CHOOSE to take offense to another person's choice that has nothing to do with them, and 2) Their decision to speak as if they are the authority and their personal beliefs and opinions as if they are fact and universal, objective truth. Did anyone read the article? The subtitle alone makes the majority of these opinions moot. If it's titled, "Black Men, Love & Relationships", then how can anyone state that Reggie Bush's choice of who he loves and dates should not be included? he is Black isn't he? Makes sense when you consider that we live in a multi-cultural, multi-racial country. Who a person chooses to date is their choice, regardless of the rationale. It is their right and it's really nobody's business but theirs. Those who have reacted strongly and have stooped to dehumanizing and disparaging Black men because of their choice have really played their hand. I apologize for the experiences you went through, but it doesn't meant that Reggie Bush is a 'white supremacist' nor does it mean that Tiger Woods has a disease. Sorry to burst your bubble, but your opinion is NOT their reality. Not to mention, if Black men choose White women, so what? I still have to get up every day and either go to work or look for it, I still have to pay my bills and eat.... In other words, I have a life and I choose to just focus on my and my choices because in the end, it's the only thing I can control anyway.

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  3.   LillyCalla says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 10

    Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 28 January 2010: Let me address the Jay “Shawn” coward V1ktor. Go sing down, down, down, the sky is falling down. How are you racist if you choose to stay within your race? Your momma stayed in her race and your daddy. Are they racist? I don’t see you heading to the projects to date “Shameka and her fatherless 2 or 3 kids. Oh, but they will argue you down on a damn public board. But none of these people are nowhere near the black community where “the majority of black women” reside. Your lucky Bill Gates ain’t invent computer screen where you can go upside somebody head. I am tired of black women getting used by these cowards." You hit the nail on the head man. White men are never seen going to the ghetto or black neighborhoods to seriously date black women but they are online looking for action. White men will go the largest ghetto in the world (Russia) and they will marry any white woman they can find there! But they claim they don't want black women because black women are "too ghetto." LOL White men don't go near real black women living in the ghetto and trying hard to survive and raise their children alone! White men are phony! They only really want rich or famous black women only so they can use them!

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  4.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 10

    I don't believe that we belong to anyone but ourselves and God. My point being is I don't see white men go out in public and diss their women like I see a lot of brothas do. If you keep on meeting these certain type of women you describe then maybe it's you. I've always been into white men since I was a kid so no you didn't drive me towards white men, but a lot of black women are being driven that way because they are sick of the attitudes of some black men. I think the problem with both men and women is they don't find a partner that is evenly yoked for them no matter what race they are. And why should black women continue to hold themselves from dating men outside of race because some people don't approve. A good man period is hard to find and if you find someone who suits you, race shouldn't matter.

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  5.   Pastrygirls85 says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 10

    "These sellout black women are really sad and pathetic. Don’t get mad because white women are getting booty and breasts now."... "Change your damn attitude. Stop overeating and calling yourself “thick”. Leave black men out of your mouth".... ..."You nappy headed black women should be ashamed of yourself. Go smoke some more “Reggie Bush”... Laurelton these are your hurtful words. Youre angry for some reason and its people like you who need to disappear. this venom that youre posting is the same poison that will eat you alive.I love and prefer white men because im ATTRACTED to them this has nothing to do with a low self esteem or self loathing. i love my beautiful chocolate skin, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, my breasts. There is No self hating here. You are dead wrong for what youve said, people are here to make connections and find love.....why are you here?

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  6.   Anonymous says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    Mr.Queens lol, i saw your comment about Kim K being a black woman because of her body. How shallow!! really, her booty is fake. two big breast dont have anything to do with it. Any body can have them, if you didnt know you can also get surgery for them. Kim is curvy but it doesnt make her black. see a picture of her a couple of years back and she is just as flat as any other white girl. No one grows a booty in a year or two, trust me Kimmy had some surgery done! lol, you should ask her if she sees herself as black and she will tell you hell no. black men are pathetic, they try to write any girl off as black to justify liking/dating her. Skinny black girl with no breast or butt? oh your a white girl! white girl with breast and butt? oh your a black girl!!

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    Dear Bama You are a lovely young lady. My ex girlfriend looked like you. I never said all black women have attitudes and are overweight. However, for some black women to have an attitude and to 'demand" certain men to conform to their standards of "dating" is hypocritical. You have a list on what you want in a man. But you don't live up to those same standards. That goes for white men too. I have certainly heard black women say they would never date a broke white boy. Perhaps a white man that works in the blue collar field. If I am wrong, please show me! Because I haven't seen it! Nobody says educated black women should lower their standards. However, a degree ALONE will not get you Brad Pitt nor Denzel Washington. A degree ALONE will not get you a ring. I told people from before I wasn't going to hold back in 2010. I never get the credit I deserve. I will tell you why that happens. If it wasn't for black men like me, more white men would be TAKING advantage of you. We just basically "weed" out the white men that would be with you regardless of the tough scrutiny. Things get hard, white men run off. Sellout black women have said this. I do my homework on black women. Black women can follow their hearts concerning interracial dating. But if they are going to bash black men. I got a serious problem with that. I am different than other men. I am student of the 48 Laws of Power. I just want to cripple the sellout black girl movement, primarily their leaders. If I let them breathe , they will get up and want to fight black men again. Black women belong with black men. You think a white man JUMPS FOR JOY seeing his white sister with a black men! If he says " I am okay with it". He is a damn liar. I ain't saying he is racist but he sure is not happy with it. But when I feel the same way. It's oh "put the guns away please". I am just expressing my opinion about it like anybody else. But please don't say black men stop you from dating a white man. If white man are not interested. Get a backbone and confront them. You have a nice day.

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  8.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    Oh really??? “Armenia’s strategic location between two continents has subjected it to invasions by many peoples, including the Assyrians, Greeks, Romans, Byzantines, Arabs, Mongols, Persians, Ottoman Turks and Russians.” Arabs and Mongols fall under "white". You explain it to me since you make black men "look good". What exactly falls "under white"? It can be a "broad definition". How about Caucasian. Definition a. Anthropology Of or being a human racial classification distinguished especially by very light to brown skin pigmentation and straight to wavy or curly hair, and including peoples indigenous to Europe, northern Africa, western Asia, and India. See Usage Note at race1. b. Of or relating to a racial group having white skin, especially one of European origin; white. 2. Of or relating to the Caucasus region or its peoples, languages, or cultures. 3. Of or relating to a group of three language families spoken in the region of the Caucasus mountains, including Chechen, Abkhaz, and the Kartvelian languages. What derogatory comments about black women? There are some black women with kids by different fathers. Is it a big secret? I normally don't do this. But I invite you to my blog. Right now, you are lashing out for some reason. You can review my latest " commentary" on my New Blog Album "THANK ME LATER". http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/

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  9.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    Mr. Queens, you are tired of black women being used by these cowards yet, you basically said we are all fat and have attitudes. That's real respectful. Why be on this website if you not into interracial dating or marriage? What disappoints me about men like you is you feel the need to put down your sistas to pump yourself up. I give most white men credit, I've never seen the majority of them put down their own women even if they do decide to date black men but a lot of our brothas feel the need to put us down and then have the nerve to say after your abusive words, that we should stay within our race while black men continue to follow their hearts. Why can't black women follow theirs? Just because you don't approve of IR relationships, doesn't mean it's wrong and the last time I checked,nobody died and made you God so basically you just need to get over it.

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  10.   ZION82 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    You will "reiterate it AGAIN?!" That's redundant... For your information,assyrians,greeks,romans,russians,and all the other ethnic groups you listed fall under the catagory of WHITE.You are obviously VERY ignorant,and your derogatory comments about black women show that you've got a lot of anger and self-loathing issues as well...I hate to see black men (you ARE black, are'nt you?)make such JACKASS'S of themselves...you make us REAL black men look BAD.

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  11.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    I will reiterate it again. Kim K's body looks like a black woman's body. Therefore, she is not white. Excerpt "Armenia's strategic location between two continents has subjected it to invasions by many peoples, including the Assyrians, Greeks, Romans, Byzantines, Arabs, Mongols, Persians, Ottoman Turks and Russians." How the fuck is she just "white". This woman is a "mutt" look at her features. She is a minority woman. You nappy headed black women should be ashamed of yourself. Go smoke some more "Reggie Bush". You get educated you peon. Every race has "negroid" in them. For example, Italians are not "fully white". Look at that chunky face midget "Snookie" from Jersey Shore with the "weird tan". I heard she half Mexican and Italian. But anyway, learn your damn history. Let me address the Jay "Shawn" coward V1ktor. Go sing down, down, down, the sky is falling down. How are you racist if you choose to stay within your race? Your momma stayed in her race and your daddy. Are they racist? I don't see you heading to the projects to date "Shameka and her fatherless 2 or 3 kids. Oh, but they will argue you down on a damn public board. But none of these people are nowhere near the black community where "the majority of black women" reside. Your lucky Bill Gates ain't invent computer screen where you can go upside somebody head. I am tired of black women getting used by these cowards.

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  12.   ZION82 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    "Her body looks like a black womans body.Therefore, she aint no white woman." Oh-kay...thats kinda scary.This guy REALLY needs help. See what I mean about getting educated?!

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  13.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 10

    Kim K is Armenian. Her body look like a black woman's body. Therefore, she ain't no white woman. Bottom line. These sellout black women are really sad and pathetic. Don't get mad because white women are getting booty and breasts now. I am disgusted by the jealousy and envy. Step your damn game up. ABC news is not going to help you. CNN Sole"dud" is not going to help you convince white men to date you seriously. Less whining and more confidence. Black women blame everyone for their problems but themselves. Change your damn attitude. Stop overeating and calling yourself "thick". Leave black men out of your mouth. Good day

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  14.   KnowLove says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 10

    I wasn't going to comment on this but after reading some of the responses... I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion but that does not make every opinion correct and contextual. Essence is a magazine that was founded for and has always catered to Black women. Mr. Bush is in a relationship with a non-Black woman. Whether she can be classified as a woman of color is of no consequence in this case. She is not Black. Essence is a magazine for Black women. He was NOT the best choice for the cover. Why is this so difficult to understand? Now to address the comment made by the Essence reader: "white supremacist"...huh...wha? That's just crazy TO ME. However, if you are someone who is hurting because you date exclusively within your race and is finding it difficult to find eligible available partners, this line of thinking makes all the sense in the world TO YOU. Obviously, since I am on an interracial dating site that does not apply to me. Lastly, to address some of my non Black sisters and non Black brothers on this site, you are treading on very unfamiliar territory when you speak on things you will never really fully understand unless you walk around in Black skin in America. Experience trumps conjecture all day long. To my Black brothers who make outlandish comments about what someone else should "just get over", if you weren't the "flavor of the month" as you have become increasingly as of late, you wouldn't be hollering this "just get over it". Just had to put that out there. No love lost.

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  15.   ZION82 says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 10

    Armenians ARE white, people...Kim Kardashian is NOT a "woman of color". Lets get educated, guys.

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  16.   V1ktor says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 10

    People who don't date outside their race are racist, simple as that. Black men choose white women, white men choose black women... it's as simple as that. It works both ways.

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  17.   12cuddlewith says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 10

    i just finally read the issue and i seriously want to know how many folks complaining up in here read the issue! The focus wasn't just on reggie bush it had a display of atleast 10 other men on there so whats the damn problem. Unless i missed his story i didn't see anything in their of him glorifying his relationship with the "so called" white Kim K. I mean am i missing something....they had all the men write a short little story nothing big, so they used him big freaking deal, their were other black men, a latino...u gonna complain about that too?

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  18.   portia_4 says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 10

    First and foremost,i would like to say...do we ever think about the children ? Raising byracial children in today's world seems alot easier,but it is when we get these obscene comments about race and color, is when myself as a parent realizes there is still alot of work to be done !Who has the right to say who we can love and who loves us back. I live in a great city in canada where the black women here are genuine and never have a problem with interracial dating.We are a city that has over come all this race related talk,though im sure it does exsist just not thrown in our faces.White women dating black men,black women dating white men is very common here and really no big deal ! How happy the world was the day Obama was elected as president, as a parent of byracial children and a Canadaian i felt so blessed to be alive the day he was elected to see the world change and the people come together was simply one of the greatest moments in mine and my childrens time !It is just a magizine and at the end of the day, we are still gonna love who we want to love.God has given us that choice,not man nor woman. So i say be happy live well and prosper now and forever.Again it it just a magizine that we read one bad comment about,im sure not all black women feel the same way she does.and lets teach our children to not see color but see all people the same !

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  19.   Bri says:
    Posted: 22 Jan 10

    For the people who can't understand why the reactions are so harsh it's because you only have a surface comprehension of the whole scenario. Black women are not opposed to Black men dating outside their race. We're opposed to Black men viewing women of other races in a more positive light than women of their own race. A lot of Black men put non-Black women on a pedestal and tend to degrade and talk negatively of their own...despite the fact that many of them were raised by Black mothers and have Black female family members. And that's the real issue, not who's he dating, but why he's dating. And yes, in a society that tries to shove Anglo-Saxon ideals down the throat of every brown and dark skinned person when you as a Black man feed into those same ideals, it may not make you a white supremacist, but it definitely does make you a sick individual mentally. Minorities have been taught for centuries to under-appreciate their ethnic features and it is a sad day in our history when Black men willingly feed into those same stereotypes. For example, a male friend of mine who was recently ejected from my life for being excessively ignorant was watching a show with me and asked a question about a woman's hair he saw on a TV...this was a white girl with some very obvious extensions and so I simply answered his question truthfully and said, "her hair is fake"....to which he responded very adamantly, "you don't know what you're talking about, she's not even Black!" It's bullshit like that that makes it hard to accept a Black man's attraction to a woman of another race as love and not self-hatred towards his own brown skin and Black women. This lovely individual then gave a whole anecdote on the features of whites and latinas and how they are more preferred...mind you this same man didn't even realize that Brazilians and Latin Americans fell under the same racial umbrella as he stated he liked both, like somehow they were different racial groups. He also couldn't tell the difference between a white woman with an orange spray tan and hair dyed black and a latina, a latina with tightly curled hair that grows in an afro versus a Black woman with natural hair...nor could he tell if a woman was latina or Native American....case and point, a lot of Black men know very little about women of other races, they don't truly embrace the culture as one should in the context of a loving interracial relationship, they are just attracted to a certain look: a certain type of hair, and a certain skin color because that's what society has taught them. As a Black woman with exotic features and long hair people assume I'm not Black or that if I am then certain parts of me are fake but a white woman with a tanning addiction and fake hair is 100% authentic, right? Anyone who doesn't see a problem with those standards is looking through rose-colored glasses. Love is love, but every interracial relationship isn't love, a lot of them are ignorance personified and in a society that tells women of color their ethnic features are less favorable, having your own men agree with them is extremely upsetting. It's bigger than just boyfriend/girlfriend...it's about the lessons the men in our community choose to teach their own sons and daughters. It's something I see in my own family too often, like the father who beat my mother and didn't contribute a dime to his own children but gave his second wife, who happens to not be Black, 2.5 kids and a white pickett fence. Ironically enough even though my half-siblings are mixed 2 out of 3 have dark skin...one of my younger sisters said she spoke Spanish and my dad thought she said she 'was' Spanish and this dumbass actually stopped her mid sentence....His second wife is Puerto Rican so my half sister really is half Spanish but she also happens to be dark skinned...she should still be able to claim either side of her racial makeup but society will still see her as Black and I watched in horror as she was actually challenged by her own parents because she 'looks' Black, mind you she didn't even say she was Spanish...this was all the result of them not hearing correctly her original comment but nonetheless it raised eyebrows. Meanwhile our little brother who happens to be light-skinned is always compared to his latino cousins on my stepmom's side of the family because he 'looks so much like them'. So yes, interracial relationships do have to be taken with a grain of salt as all are not what they seem and countless Black people have some extremely warped views of racial superiority belonging to every non-Black person on the face of Planet Earth. And to the person who said Tiger's 'disease' and was challenged...I have a problem with that too...why not challenge Tiger instead of the commentary about him? I partially agree with the person who referred to Tiger's image issues and preference for white women as a 'disease'. Here's a man who's making strides in a white-dominated sport but has issues being identified as a person of color. What sense does that make? God forbid his accolades be counted as one for the black and brown team. Woods is 50% Asian and 25% Black, he should be proud to carry both of those flags and represent two ethnic groups that are currently underrepresented in his field...but his mouth would probably burst into flames if he had to actually form the words, "I am part Black"..that is indicative of some serious self image issues..so maybe disease was harsh but it definitely is a problem that should not just be brushed under the rug. And if Black men do treat non-Black women better than they treat their own it's not just interracial dating, it's a travesty.

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  20.   immeuru says:
    Posted: 22 Jan 10

    I date whom I want, which usually - not always - is black men. There are lots of things I like about brothers but I'll save that for another discussion. My comment to my black sisters is usually that I'll just have one of their men, thank you very much! I guess it seems crazy enough that after awhile they just smile...that is, when there is a relationship established. I don't care to grovel and apologize unless I have done something that merits an apology. I try to understand different perspectives, although I don't think a victim mentality ever gets us far in life. It doesn't mean we never are "victims", but we also have choices in how we are going to perceive and respond to life. I choose to focus on what does work and what does feel good and build my life from that place. Still, I feel for black women in this regard. I am shocked when I read men's profiles on dating sites. Rarely will a white man include black women as within his dating options. He may list every other color under the sun - oh, purple sure, bring it on - but god forbid, not black. What is it with white men? I must say as a white female I click those guys off my screen. They almost always mention that they hate hip-hop too. If racism didn't have such damaging consequences it would almost be hilarious how much we make of skin COLOR. People don't refuse to walk into a room because it is orange, not green. I just don't get it - really! Can someone please explain it to me?

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  21.   nubianking9 says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 10

    I don't know who put up that stupid thing about black men being white supremacist; and as for bdsista they're both asses! is'nt kardashian middle eastern? I thought they broke up. Give it a break people! what will be will be. daddirollz4 and rufilice right on!

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  22.   Robelto says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 10

    Reading some of the responses shocked me in that a lot of people still that archaic way of thinking. A reminder the "1 drop rule" of Master on the plantation has been out of existence for years.It is perpetuated by the powerful Blacks to for political reasons. It is in their best interest to do so for this reason- money, power. Halle Berry is NOT Black!! She is Mulatto/ Creole or whatever she chooses to call herself in this country only. Moreover, Mulatto is not a derogatory word! All that Mule and sterile is bullshit, used to scare people to identify themselves as such. In essence magazine alot of the models are of recent mixed race, ie 1st generation Mullatoes and Creoles, with European features and loose curly or straight hair. Where are the real Black women with West African features, showing their beautiful natural kinky hair, wide noses (sub-Saharan features)? Blacks in this country are descended from these people. It is very hypocritical to hear those racist rants or anti- interracial relationships coming from people of color.If non- Blacks make those comments it is wrong and hateful/bigoted, if Blacks do it is fine; such a double standard and uneducated view of life. It is the 21st century and this country is supposed to be progressing and catching up with race relations.In the Caribbean, Latin America, England we don't have that issue. Just live and love someone regardless of colour. Just because a person of a different race dates/marries someone of a different race doesn't mean he dislikes his own race, he/she happens to fall in love with someone of a different race/colour. Simple as that!! One more thing Kim is White(European) her phenotype and colour says it all, and not all Whites are very pale, yet they are White, hence phenotype and region of origination. Some Black women say this it seems to make justify their low self esteem and somewhat claiming her as a person of colour. Anyway, stop the bitching about relationships and Essence need to get with the times and Gods design for the human race, love regardless of race! If there was mag like Essence that focused on such issues you wouldn't hear the end of it for awhile. Buy a mag that focus on love, love is colour blind, not black, Brown, White, etc.Myself being a Mulatto, my sisters and brothers of this world are all races.

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  23.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 10

    Hey godiva, thank you very much. I think of you often.Hawaii huh??, I totally jealous,LOL. I hope you had a wonderful time and plenty of sun and rest. Ich and godiva yes you got me going good,lol. Sorry, I couldn't stop. Godiva, it's Ichibod's fault,LOL.okay I'm going stop now,lol. Peace

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  24.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 10

    Hey, Godiva. I have really missed you. I take it you read our little discussion in that other topic. I got Natalie started and she couldn't stop. We always need to keep each encourage. daddirollz4, WOW! Talk about leaving no stone unturned. Much respect to you, Sir. The B Man, I repeat, "Maxim, King, Stuff, and Playboy magazines don’t feature scantily clad or naked GUYS on their covers." I don't see what was so hard about that. Maxim is a men's magazine that started to incorporate stuff that would grab more women's attention to generate more add revenue. Pictures of guys was not among the changes made 2 years ago to that mag. The splitting of hairs got you really far there, bro.

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  25.   daddirollz4 says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 10

    I am constantly amazed at the ability of my Sisters to decide that they're the victims of a particular slight, issuing themselves a permit to carry a chip on their shoulders, while simultaneously setting the agenda of what is; isn't 'acceptable'. You can decide when to exhale, to keep it real, to push it up; when or if drama will be permitted. When it comes to Men, you set the standard as to what type of educational or intellectual level is acceptable (I wonder if this enables you to decide who to 'conversate' with), as well as what types of employment; economical status will be allowed to cater to you. You will not hesitate or give a second thought to giving us the condescending '5 second head-to-toe inspection'; dismissing any Brother that is not at least on the upper side of 6' 3"; a 'Denzel wannabe', even IF you have NO IDEA of his socio-economic status. (Don't EVEN THINK of getting it twisted---I'm no hater---ANYONE that knows me, knows that I've been a Denzel mark since 'A SOLDIER'S STORY') I know this for a fact because I've listened in your conversations with me, as well as around me. I've heard versions of this subject in a number of places, spoken by a variety Black Women, including my own blood sister. Is there anyone else in the community like myself, male or female? I'm a SBlkM in Atlanta, Ga. I'm a Physically Challenged, Proud USMC Veteran (Enlisted). I'm an Un-Licensed, Un-Regulated, Un-Restricted; Un-Controllable Wheelchair-Pilot. Since my injury, I've made an unsettling observation. When it comes to my Sisters, whether it's casual conversation, or actually inviting them to share some personal time with me, I get this 'funny vibe', that ranges from obvious 'discomfort' to downright rudeness. Frankly, I have no problem with someone turning me down, or simply not being interested, but does anyone remember something called 'The Golden Rule'? I'll be the first to admit, when I make an acquaintance with a Woman, I don't 'spit game'---I'm a grown Man; I leave 'the game-playin' to youngsters. I'm attracted to; have been attractive to---WOMEN---That are mature in mind/thought, socially aware, respectful; intelligent. Not necessarily an intellectual, but with the common sense to realize that there are many different types of people in this world; none are 'perfect 10's. Is the absence of being 'abled-bodied' another wedge that's going to cause Black Women to overlook another quality Black Man because he's not 'perfect'? I sure hope not because I have found acceptance with other women...and if you won't accept me as I am, what do you think I'm going to do? To be sure, this is not a case of 'second best being better than none at all', or 'sleeping with the enemy', but acceptance based on that intangible quality that CAN'T be seen, called character. There is another unknown, inexplicable element that may bring two people together in an 'extra-personal' way, called chemistry or simply attraction. (I can never seem to remember which one is visually challenged---Love or Justice? You mean BOTH?!) Sisters tell US; THE REST OF WHOEVER IS WITHIN EARSHOT that any Black Man that has anything more than a casual relationship with ANY WOMAN THAT WILL LET HER HAIR GET WET IN THE RAIN...You prefer them over us, because they let you walk all over them; they let you get away with things that we won't stand for... I will readily admit that some Brothers may actually buy into that; run game. And yes, there are those that believe a 'trophy White-girl is a status symbol. But this is the same person that will treat ANY WOMAN with disrespect. Now, dig on this...There is A WAR GOING ON! There's going to be a lot more Brothers; SISTERS coming back home, in worse shape than me, so we are going to HAVE TO RE-SHAPE OUR WAY OF THINKING ABOUT A LOT OF 'OUR' SOCIAL ISSUES!

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  26.   sexycool says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    who cares?why is it when a black woman kicks a black man to the curb and ditches him for another man,but has hatred toward him when he starts dating a white woman?maybe if you stop doing this,then maybe black men would start back to loving black women as women.

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  27.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    @Ichibod, Ich, I guess that you are going to make me go out and buy this magazine(lol). Good to see you again! Went on a nice, relaxing, and much needed vacation in Hawaii. I'll get back to you after I have read the article. Hi Natalie, congrats on the move to Houston, I'm praying, yes praying(I couldn't resist) that your new home will enrich your life in every way! Hello Mr. Queens, hope you are well!!! Scoff/Sarah, Happy New Year, still waiting on that e-mail! love godiva

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  28.   Member says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    Ichibod Most of the poeple who read Maxim are women.

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  29.   Member says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    Sucess Essence has never been against you dating black girls.

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  30.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    I have a question for anyone who has actually read this issue. The focus of the issue was Black Men, Love & Relationships, but did the picture of Reggie Bush mean that the topic is related to his relationships, or the fact that this is a magazine for black women and he's a handsome brotha with his shirt open? Maxim, King, Stuff, and Playboy magazines don't feature scantily clad or naked guys on their covers (and for good reason, it doesn't sell copies or entice men to read them). Nor do they feature unattractive and out-of-shape women. That's a great point about Halle Berry being on the cover. Maybe there was a comment or two about it. Who knows?

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  31.   Rene06 says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    When one reads the heading of this latest edition of Essence Magazine, "Black Men, Love, And Relationships," I would imagine that such a title just might imply "black on black" Love, And Relationships. Especially given, such a heading does sit atop a predominantly, and historically catered to black women magazine. So it is safe to say that there may very well be just cause for a slight feeling of disconnect for at least some of the readers of this edition, when the male figure on the cover is not necessarily in the kind of relationship that the title of this magazine may have implied. That is, some may look at it from the perspective of what is black love traditionally. That being, a black man's love more than likely would have been directed towards a black woman, but not a Kardashian. Just My .02

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  32.   thicksasgov says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    Kim Kardasian is fine as a bottle of 1846 red wine. Any man regardless of race would love to be involved with her as well as Anglie Jolie, Heather Graham, Catherine Zeta Jones, Jessica Alba, (white), Tiania Ali, Beyonce, Lela Richone (black) Lucy Lie, Chu Hua Huang (Asian) and on and on. Each one of these women have something in common with Kim Kardasian and that is all are extremely beautiful. That is why some women are bitter. Everybody can't be beauitful.

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  33.   12cuddlewith says:
    Posted: 19 Jan 10

    Ok i guess for me again...is isnt this a interracial dating site...where we are here to find someone of another race....so i'm surprised at the few comments then because if your here on a interracial dating site then why are you bothered. I understand the whole wanting a man who dates black women on the cover and that it's a magazine that was made for black women...i can't argue that....but a black man doesn't lose his blackness, he is still a black man.....but i feel all relationships are different, and we all go through the same things at times.

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  34.   Sucess says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 10

    I've read Essence for many years studying black women. And it has been against interracial romance all that time. Once they did many pages about how us white men are such brutes to our black girl friends. It was all proproganda to sell magazines to keep the girls from venturing out.

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  35.   12cuddlewith says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 10

    disease my butt. lol

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  36.   twig93 says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 10

    Oh, and given what day it is, I can't help but add: "I have a dream that one day ... little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers." MLK Someday we'll get there.

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  37.   twig93 says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 10

    Well I can understand why Essence readers are upset - Reggie Bush does seem to be an exceedingly odd choice for the cover given the topic of the issue. But the reader's comment is over-the-top ridiculous: dating a white person = being a white supremacist??? Is that the sad state of race relations in the 21st century? I wonder if this woman voted for Barack Obama - the product of a marriage between a BM / WW - that she appears to be so bitterly opposed to.

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  38.   Bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 10

    How about if Essence just said celebrating love instead of "Black Love" that's why some women are pissed. If you say black love and you put the pic of a black man dating a non-black woman on the cover, then you asking for comments like that. Love should not have colorlines.

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  39.   bennyblanco says:
    Posted: 17 Jan 10

    oh I almost forgot the uptight comments by the one screen named, my dear "bdsista". ..... you said something about same "disease" as Tiger Woods"....quit it...now you're just talking crazy... Wanna go on a date with me next weekend? You need a BUNCH of hugs sweetie...who made you so bitter talking bout "disease"....c'mon now, are you are kidding me? :-) Just STOP that....do something to release the pressure...still love ya though

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  40.   12cuddlewith says:
    Posted: 17 Jan 10

    Well to me he is still a black man regardless if he is dating someone of another race, he doesn't lose his blackness, maybe it's not what everyone wanted but obviously someone at Essence magazine wanted him on the cover or thought it was ok, and i was happy to see him in my mailbox. Secondly, people still have it wrong with the whole white woman thing because kim isn't white, she probably doesn't even check white on any applications so hello she isn't white. Yes Essence is a magazine that for made for black women who can say he doesn't love black women either, it's not like you asked him and i don't ever recall reading anything about him saying he only dates non black women....who he date prior to Kim? And if he doesn't like black women (highly doubt it) then thats like saying he hates his mother, grandmother etc, and i highly doubt that. I am all for love, black love, white love, interracial love and sometimes gay love lol. Love is love!

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  41.   bennyblanco says:
    Posted: 17 Jan 10

    Wow. First of all "one love" baby...one race one people, regardless of skin color. Have any of us ever stopped to think of the mental health level of people that openly say such things, as the person who spoke on the essence magazine in question? Have you? Seriously have you? for those who believe in one love regardless, the only thing that separates "US" from the very tiny minority of mental case that act like that, is that we choose to live our life in disregard of what "THEY" say. I personally would go crazy if I were foolish enough to think that the majority of people are racially warped like that person....because the majority of people ARE NOT. Celebrate PEOPLE, not race. Don't make me preach up in hear...if there is a magazine celebrating ANY race, for that matter....oooh that isn't good to begin with...better just let a magazine be a magazine, because if its about one race and not all...you going in the wrong direction. Now this person wanna label the magazine as a celebration of one race, then have the nerve to say that the man on the cover "isn't good because he is not racist like you want him to be" ? Hello-he is not racist, and I'll bet a big hug would solve alot of your problems. :-)

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  42.   ZuZu21 says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 10

    James, you are truly a mess.

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  43.   Rene06 says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 10

    I am a huge proponent of interracial dating/marriage, but even I can't cosign the editors choice on this one. Reggie Bush was NOT the best choice, given the title of this month's issue. It's just not very consistant. Better it to have been a cover photo of a famous black man who is with a black woman. That would have been a more accurate description of a "Black Men, Love & Relationship" Issue. Reggie best represents the "Interracial Love & Relationship" Issue. LoL! I agree with bdsista 100%.

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  44.   establishedqt says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 10

    The comment from the Essence reader is beyond disturbing to me. It shows you the deep wounds of yester year & how it breathes in this woman's heart even today, it is sad to me. How can you have such hate for a man that is dating a different type? I prefer to date tall man, should we hate ourselves for having a preference when it comes to the opposite sex? I prefer men with darker skin then myself & I have 2 close African-American girl friends that only date Caucasian men! Should people hate them too? Surely no, just as you should not hate yourself for liking ranch dressing over italian on your salad! It is what it is! STOP THE JUDGMENT! I read Essence even though it is not targeted for me or to me. I know not all the readers feel the way that one poor individual does. Happy MLK day & remember what he worked so damn hard for, stop perpetuating hate!

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  45.   bdsista says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    rightguy, the magazine is not marketed as interracial, this site is. Essence from the beginning in the 1970s was created to be a magazine for Black women, since there were NO fashion and beauty magazines for women of color back then. So don't criticize Essence, it is what it was created to be. No slam on Kim Kardashian but last time I checked she wasn't donated to UNCF or protesting anything related to WOC. So ok, she's of color, but I wouldn't consider her Essence material, there are also politics involved, like it or not.

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  46.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    God, now another reason for black women to complain that black men and any other races won't date them. James is having a field day with this. He knows how to push the sensitive buttons of the one's intended.

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  47.   RUFILICE says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 10

    Please get over it and move on. Love is love and for the record Kim Kardashian is Armenian, ie not coco brown but still a woman of color.

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  48.   bdsista says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 10

    I think that if you have an issue called "Black Love" in a Black Woman's magazine, logic would tell you that it should have something to do with Loving Black Women. There is a serious disconnect to feature a man who does not love a Black woman in a Black woman's magazine issue on Black Love. Halle Berry is a Black woman who is LOVED by a white man, but I think the focus is supposed to be on Black women who are loved by whomever. Since Black women are so often put down as not conforming with the white beauty standard that bombards us from birth, I can understand how reader and long time readers like me (1971) would think that a Black man who chooses not to love Black women would be a poor choice for this issue. I don't know if I would go so far as to call him a white supremacist, but if his ONLY choices are white women, then he has the same disease Tiger has. It is insulting to have someone who does not even date his own on the cover of a Black magazine. Black women want to feel desired and appreciated and loved. Bad editorial work on the part of Essence. Hope they do better next time.

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  49.   rightguy99 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 10

    Have these people lost their minds.. especially on an inter-racial dating site. Love is love.... maybe the magazine should be named American Essence... love is love I am soooo tired of the ignorant racists whatever their walk of life.. Edward

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  50.   fire321 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 10

    I personally could care less who Reggie Bush is dating but considering this magazine is catered to black women, perhaps he wasn't the best choice to use when it comes to "black" love. He is of course a black man but his current love isn't a black woman. I think it's time black women get over this "black men should be with black women" syndrome. Everyone is entitled to have preferences or simply date whomever they please. Why are some black women still seeing this as a slap in the face or rejection? When you're know your worth, what someone else is doing should have no bearing on you whatsoever.

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