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Do white women approach men better than black women?

Posted by James, 03 Oct

Do White women approach Black men better than Black women do? One thing that most people believe is that white women are more aggressive when it comes to letting a man know they're interested. How is this so?

Apparently, white women have perfected the art of making the first move. Remember Big Mamas and how they taught younger generations of Black women that it's unladylike to go after a man? Correct me if I am wrong… White women don't have Big Mamas so they are like baracudas when it some to getting their man. The thing with white women is that when they think they like some guy, no time is wasted. She will be all up in his face, to get his attention.

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Well, I find it to be a major turn on when a woman leaves the guesswork out of who likes who. On the other hand when a Black woman likes a dude, she telepathically sends him a message (you know how we men are pathetic with reading-between-the-lines kind of messages… we almost never get them).

Most Black men I have had the chance to talk to say that when they talk to a White woman, in the first five minutes, they can tell that she's looking for a man and if she's interested in him. But when a brother talks to a Black woman, in the first five minutes he discovers that she's looking for a certain kind of man. Get the difference?

I must admit that we all have standards we have to live up to. Much as there are white women that have a rep of scouting out talented black athletes, there are some White women who give a Black man a chance that Black women wouldn't give a second look. How many times have you seen an interracial couple walking hand in hand and you said. "She can have him"?

Most of my Black female friends don’t like the sight of a good looking brother at a club with a White woman. So why this obsession with the outwards as opposed to the inside? Its important when at a social gathering, to have a good time and take the initiative to meet two new people before they go home. Black guys do it. White girls definitely do it.

Much as Big mama said it aint right, that shouldn't hold us back from being polite to someone new, even when we're not interested. You never know, that person could later introduce you to someone who may introduce you to another someone. And just coz you have made the first move doesn’t make you a slut. It shows confidence and how you got your sh** together.

I think one thing we all have to realize is that love is out there. Stop looking for it in the wrong places. Stop looking for the picture perfect dude. White women are not out to swipe the whole entire community of Black men. Maybe they are just looking for love in all the right places. Enough with the judging. Don’t let love pass you right under your nose. Who knows, I could be your Mr. Right. ;-)

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74 responses to "Do white women approach men better than black women?"

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  1.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 05 Mar 10

    It does seem these blogs have atheme of compatition more than a theme of unity. What is up with all the damn stereotyping on this messageboard. Did Black man do this better, Did White man do this better, Did Asian woman do that better, Who kisses the bast Black American woman or Samoan woman. Damn. Seriously, the more I read the blogs posted by the makers of this board, the more I realize they are obsessed with stereotypes rather than individuals. Real people date individuals. If you find a person that is great and they happen to be of another ethnic group, go for it. End of story. This isn't the ethnic Olympics of dating. Damn. A lot of hogwash threads.

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  2.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Feb 10

    "keep on- keeping on" this topic is far from ignorant. but the comments it brings out are. i am 21 years young. i come from an extremely multi-racial family. coming from, jamaican,indian,italian,canadian and chinese roots. were here my skin has an olive tone yet my sister's is fare. my cousins are both black and white. my mother has what some may call "nappy" hair, yet my father has silky curls. im somewhere in the middle. my husband is black, family raised in the south. my daughter is absolutley beautiful, but i fear she will grow up soo confused. just like my mother n i did. here we are not exactyly fitting to one side nor the other. were do we belong? whos decision is it whether my mother should have married my italian father and not another jamaicain/indian man. whos to say that i should not have married my african/american husband instead of a caucasion man. why is it i am judged before i am known. why is it color determines how strong, intelligent, worthy, or beautiful someone will be. its a struggle for me everyday to rise up from the challenges i face bein in the relationship i am in,raising my daughter to be a proud woman,not a proud black/nor white woman, and still remain prideful myself, when so many look down on me, my accomplishments, or even my abilities to accomplish things i have yet to do. my family has struggled with many hardships regarding money,drugs,a place to call home,family affairs. the same as anyone else..but yet people dont care to acknowledge this because our skin is niether one nor the other. people have literally 'expressed' doubt in my abilities to rise in any occasion from one look at myself or my family. its depressing, sickening, and unfortunate so many people deprive themselves of genuinley knowing other people and taking the oppurtunity to learn from other people because of what they see at first glance. can someone please help me understand?? and give advice as how to keep on keeping on?

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 Jan 10

    this topic is ignorant. Also, why is there never a debate of why or who white men date?

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  4.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 09

    Again...how stereotypical is this question?! Are all white women the same? Are all Black women the same? The question says they are the same.

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  5.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 09

    Oh yeah James, if that is you, lose the outfit dude, LOL! You can keep the hair as long as it dreds, teehee!

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  6.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 28 Oct 09

    "White women are not out to swipe the whole entire community of Black men. Maybe they are just looking for love in all the right places. Enough with the judging. Don’t let love pass you right under your nose. Who knows, I could be your Mr. Right. ;-)" ~James ________________________________ Well, tell me this James, do you look anything like the dude in the picture? Cause if you do, HOLLA! LOL! No I'm serious...Was that you in the picture back in the day?! Now I'm just kidding again and probably a bit delirious from not getting enough sleep last night. All kidding aside I frankly think both Black men and White women just got fed up with the race game. A lot of people don't realize whites made their women feel "held hostage". Those men would be out living it up while leaving the white woman to carry the 'sacred torch' of their race. Sure those women would be treated well...by material standards, lol! They were no more well treated love wise in many cases - you know spiritually, soulfully than a man in the moon. The reader should think back or be made aware of the vestical of uprightness they were set to be in public and in society. Still are to a degree. It's just harder to believe the bull since whites on both side of the fence began to jump from the "perfect" homes they supposedly had in the 50's and 40's. It's just the fall of the family for whites and blacks have created a new family of sorts. African Americans (families) who endured the struggles since the tearing down of their actual communities began to happen a bit after entry into The Reconstruction Period here in the states. Thus suffering double loss. At that time, we had all our own everything. When whites saw we were just as industrious, diligent and we actually had brains often not even a full generation out of slavery, they lost their minds. So not only did we have the African American family destroyed once, but twice on a major historical scope. That was on these American soils alone during the slave trade and post Civil War freedoms. Notwithstanding the tear down of the Africans and the rape of their societies during the culmination of the slave trade. As well the many other ways American society tore The Black family down in front of the eyes of the world, shamelessly. So now there is a forging of a new family. People will create even out of destruction. Now as far as tactics go, yes, I've seen and heard about the tactics used by white women. They are more aggressive, but the same traits they have and are PERMITTED to show would be called bombastic by Men of Color if a woman of the culture were to use them. Many Black men want to feel made up to by a woman doing all she can to have him. For the first time in generations some relate to the "feeling" of appreciation and love because they are permitted these days to do what they want. White women pay the black man's bills in a role reversal more so today than ever just to have him. While Women of Color are showing their self love and self empowerment by boosting their own educations, salaries and opportunity. The black men who've so called "made it" honestly just don't want to look back. As long as they have money and choice they will be with a white woman who is treated as a COMMODITY on the open market. Yes, love has a lot to do with it, but love of the commodity. She is bought and sold much like her black man once was. I think she tired of being sold for someone else's benefit and decided to make her own ticket. She seems to be happier for it. Another point is a white woman doesn't want to face the challenge for some reason (like any woman would which is what strikes me) of her man going back to a Woman of Color. So she bargains with him. That is why she pays him. She does so for her benefit, not his. Sometimes it backfires and he stays for a while and will even marry. Strangely he often returns to a Woman of Color AFTER he is matured, produces a lower income and has had his fill. Strange, but I've seen it over and over. That's why I always say people do what they do. One doesn't have to agree with it, but certainly can learn from it. I also believe these many issues aren't as simple, 1-2-3, as we like to think. History itself shapes our many perceptions even if we can't see the full thread of it. So on the simple I believe people go after what they believe they can have, but sometimes we are all to accepting of a standard set for us for someone else's benefit. People should date who they want by a standard that is agreeable for their overall situation. Good luck my Caucasian sisters! Make sure you love yourself and the man you choose reflects that in the love he shows you.

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  7.   Kiki says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    White girls do have "big momma's" there called grandmother's baby! I agree with some points in your article.

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  8.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 09

    i think everybody is definitly more opened to dating other races now than more than ever,which is very good i've always love to see interracial relationships since i was a young teen.And i think if your happy it dosn't matter what other people think cause there's only two in a relationship.

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  9.   JustAGirl says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 09

    @John L: it seems as if you are VERY bitter. Stop playing the race card. You have this "woe is me" attitude just because you are black. Get over it. The freaking payday loan stores aren't going to shut down if black people stop cashing checks there! Here's a solution: #1, get a bank account. #2, get a job. #3, fix your credit. THEN you won't have these problems. Black folks aren't the only ones that are poor and have issues. White people have just as many. GET OVER YOURSELF!

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  10.   WANNAMAKER says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 09

    One of the main reasons the internet can be a problem... ... ...it gives people with horrible reading comprehension skills the ability to write replies. Wonderful article tho. If the writer's aim was to help all men get laid.

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  11.   djteel says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 09

    i don't date women for the sake of being diverse.i date who i'm attracted to and comfortable with.women of my own race.i don't feel i'm missing out by dating people of other races.i'm not looking for for a cultural experience.i find that white women also are looking for a certain type of man as much as any black woman.but like most black women,white women only keep meeting the macho,cocky,self indulgent type of guy.thusly,the wheel keeps a spinning and relationships keep a changing.

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  12.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 11 Aug 09

    BlackLadsteak Lol.Although I have never seen a canadian man that WASN'T sexy,lol, I think it might be your confidence that the women are picking up on and not neccessarily your race.

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  13.   Phaedrus says:
    Posted: 11 Aug 09

    Well, I'm here mostly because of good experiences talking with black women in the past. Its clear to me that some of them approach very nicely and are not afraid to let you know what they want.

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  14.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 01 Aug 09

    I have seen this to be true but mostly in traveling white professional women. Those white women traveling for business are more aggressive and forward than those in their actual home office. If she gets tense in the neck and starts rubbing her own neck and shoulders look out! John Lindsay makes a point. Most brothers prefer an exotic attractive tan or olive woman over a white woman anyway. Black women may not realize that and only think of white women. A lot of white men find darker caucasian-looking women that are non-black, non-mixed, and non-white more attractive too!!

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  15.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 09

    To BlackCowboy.... Maybe some of those women actually get the vibe that you see them as "broads" and not "babes" (a slightly better meaning behind that one I suppose.....lol). Just I a thought..... Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  16.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 09

    FIIGO: Although you have a few valid points there, I think most of your comments are biased....possibly racist. Everyone chooses whom they love and desire, white men are not the pinnacle of all men. So it's like basically saying that all women look to white men first, get rejected, and then the rejected ones, or fallout if you will, scatter amongst other races looking for love. That is just stupid!

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  17.   FIIGO says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 09

    Hey everyone, have you ever been wondering why those particular white women bother to date black guys? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe it's because white men have rejected those white women in the first place? Let's face it, white men do pick up the best looking women (whether is white, latina, asian, black) and ignore those less than average-looking white women. Who do you think a white guy is going to choose? A hot black or asian woman or less than average-looking white woman? White men are highly picky when it comes to women's beauty. And here is another interesting point, white men sees white women's beauty differently then black men. Yes it's true that there are some white women who date black men, I have seen them on the streets, but I gotta tell you, most white men don't find those white women attractive. If you don't believe what I say, you can always ask a white guy what he think of that white woman on the street. The white guy will tell you and you will realize that the white guy has a difference perception of beauty than black men do.

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  18.   Member says:
    Posted: 03 Jul 09

    As a classically handsome,Brad doll sort of black lad,I'm FREQUENTLY approached by great-looking withe babes,but NEVER by a black broad.I wonder why?

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  19.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 03 Jul 09

    LOL....I wasn't comparing myself to anyone....but I knew that YOU would follow me like a friggin vulture to this topic.....AND once again you show your true hateful colors....AND your childish, school-yard ways (you didn't even attempt to answer my question and brought up some nonsense from another thread....lol).....YOU ARE DISMISSED. (taking the REAL "cuckoo" out, putting it up to a mirror and throwing the clock out the window...DONE!)....you were amusing for a time but but at some point the laughs have gotten as stale and rotten as your abusive attitude; I guess that fits in your world and I hope you find all the happiness there......PEACE (a "special" one just for you, L. Queens). Peace and Blessings to ALL tatted2death

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  20.   Member says:
    Posted: 02 Jul 09

    You are comparing yourself to BlackLad. I didn't seen him throw a temper tantrum over the fact someone said something or did something "they didn't like it" like you did to Legion. You are cuckoo get some help! You are so desperate it is not even funny at this point. If you didn't mention Legion name and was unhappy with a way a man approaches you. Then it would be different. Instead you "lost your cool". That is what desperation does to some black women. Get some help and you will be alright. I told you I see the weaknesses in your personality already. You are definitely a "hot head" and "controlling". You must have difficulties in your relationship.

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  21.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 01 Jul 09

    Susan, SHUT UP! I don't think I would look as handsome any other color. Maybe the love and respect YOU have for your relatives is race based, mine is not. Take that up with the types of men you converse with... at the mental ward. I don't believe it's really a matter of whether white women approach men better, necessarily. There are just different approaches. And the method of approach may very well differ amongst white women as well as amongst black women, any woman for that matter. Nicely written, James.

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  22.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 01 Jul 09

    Ok 2 L. Queens (who I know watched this board like a hawk).. ...so the above (by BlackLadsteak) is not seen as advertising/"throwing" himself out there????? But my attempt to ONLY connect with like-minded people is.......(tick tock tick tock)

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  23.   BlackLadsteak says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 09

    I'm a classically handsome older black Canadian lad(56 July 6; said to look 15-20 years younger than my age)and I can't resist a buxom blonde between 25 and 39,because it seems white babes see a stud in every good-looking black guy.

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  24.   Member says:
    Posted: 25 May 09

    @ LB, I guess I can understand where you're coming from. But rest assured, not all of us black men have that mentality (I personally have no issues with black women dating white men). I've dated outside my race as well and just because one does that doesn't always mean they hate their own race...sometimes it's just about preference. I don't like when people make crazy asumptions (not that you were, i'm just saying in general). Bottom line: It's hard enough finding true love in this day and age. We shouldn't add anymore obstacles to the equation like worrying about people's skin colors.

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  25.   Member says:
    Posted: 07 May 09

    Let address the above comments. I don't cheat on my fiancee number 1. Number 2 I get more women since I have been engaged is a statement saying women flirt more than when I was single. As for everything else you said. That is your personal issue. If I lack the manhood to be engaged to a black woman I wouldn't have bought her a ring. Good day to you. The crackpot that said they still look at you as a nigger. I guess that applies to sellout black women with white men. I don't fall in either category because I stay within my race. You need to relax.

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  26.   valerie2003 says:
    Posted: 06 May 09

    By extension, white women who prefer black men hate their fathers, sons, brothers, etc., and the color of their own skin. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! I date men - both black and white - because of the way they carry themselves. If they have a sense of humor, are intelligent, able to hold a conversation about something other than their ex, and are comfortable in their own skin, no matter what the color, than I'm interested in them as a human being and possible partner. I wish people would stop looking for underlying psychological issues when they see interracial couples. Trust me, attraction is not that complicated!

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  27.   Susan says:
    Posted: 06 May 09

    Most black men choose non black women because they themselves hate their own skin color, and feel it will make them look more acceptable in society. They don't care if the white women is 400 lbs and stank, as long as she ain't black. DUMB ASSES! But the thing is, when a black man goes that route all that really says is, secretly he hates his black mother, his black sisters, his black grandmother, his black aunts and black female cousins. And when you have a conversation with these type of men, you will find that out. BUT THE WHITE MAN ( and lots of white women) STILL SEES YOU AS A NIGGER!

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  28.   Susan says:
    Posted: 06 May 09

    @ Mr Laurelton Queens Black women suspect black men of trying to get in their pants when the man is nice to them because, 99% of the time THEY ARE! You say, "You get MORE women now that you are engaged". You didn't say, "more women hit on you now that you are engaged". Which tells me you are not faithful to your partner and fall into the category of black men always "trying to get with them". You sound like the typical FOOL who puts all black women down because you lack the MANHOOD to deal with a black woman who... has confidence in herself...who knows who she is and her worth....and she doesn't tolerate bullshit.

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  29.   Member says:
    Posted: 06 May 09

    Black women don't want to be approachable. You try to be to nice to them. They think they you "are" trying to get with them. In the end they mess with married and "take men" in relationships. I get more black women now that I am engaged. When I was single they ain't give a damn. Now they are running to white men because they "ran out of options". Of course non black men will not approach.

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  30.   anonymous says:
    Posted: 16 Apr 09

    I agree with Kimberley. It's harder for a black woman to approach a guy, b/c non-black men and a significant number of black men are not interested in black women. most men of other races would date a white woman, but it's a different story when it comes to black women. so i think most just assume the man probably won't be interested (if he's not black) and don't bother. how many times do you see a black woman no matter where she's from (american, african, or caribbean) with anyone who isn't black? there are already a significant number of black men with white women so white girls have a better chance with a black guy than many black girls probably do. heck, it's hard enough finding a black guy never mind a guy of another race.

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  31.   LB says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    My boyfriend (who is white) and I (who is black) were in the car and noticed some black guys eyeing us. Which sparked a conversation, I know it doesn't apply to every black man, but generally speaking, what is the issue with a white man and black woman being together? Most articles are about a black man and a white woman but I do not see much about the opposite. Before him I admit that I never really looked at a white man as a potential partner. Not because I am racist but partly because I had grown up surrounded by white people (I was one of 2 black people in my high school class) and wanted to date a black man. And it seemed like the "right" thing to do. I mean it applies to all races, there is no meeting where everyone sits down and is told to date within your race, yet most people do. I know I rambled a lot, but I was just wondering why the spotlight is always on black men and white women? Or is it just that society is more accepting of a white man and a black woman?

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  32.   Kimberly says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    This isn't true! It has always been difficult for women to approach men. Women have subtle ways of letting a man know she's interested by smiling, starting a conversation, or giving a man a compliament and giving him the courage to ask her out. I have seen white, black, and hispanic women do the same things! This is a silly article. Maybe, some black women have a hard time approaching men of another race, because they aren't sure if that man is open to dating black women. I never heard any of my white friends question if any man would be interested in white women it's just an expected thing that everyone is interested in them. But I have seen some black women question if white, hispanic, asian, or even some black men are even interested in black women before even showing interest. I would like to think that I am not one of those women. If I like a man, I will let him know that I am interested if he doesn't return the interest then I move on.

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  33.   hmmm says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 09

    as a young white female i dont believe this to be true. Me myself have made it very clear to friends and family that i do not like white males, as in a relationship way, we could be the closest of friends but i just dont find white males attractive, so a comment that was made before about white females only going 4 superstar, althletic black males is totally ridiculous, only those that are not looking for actual real love go for those types for their money or body, when i meet a guy i like to get 2 kno him both mentally and physically and if we hit it off we hit it off. love isnt a game to be played and if its true love you wont care what those around you think

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  34.   Abenaa says:
    Posted: 03 Nov 08

    when you say men in this article, do you mean black men, because in that case white women are not as reserved about seeking out a relationship with a black man. in general though, there are some reserved black women and there are those who go after a man they like, theres no hard and steady rule.

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  35.   deliah says:
    Posted: 26 Oct 08

    any couples off two different races have diferent reasons too being toggeter.some cause off love some cause off money and other reasons.because off money i found stupid.we still care about skin colour.i dont know why.we are all people.i am a white woman and i like black people.i mean they loock good,have power and a good body type.i like white too.we can not talk about one race.depends off person.not all white or black loock same.my question is why we asocciate always black or white?why not white and asian or indian?or black whith hispanic asian or whattewer?i still say that we are people.not black people or white people.just people.we pray all to god.we die all.we dont live forewer.doesn t matter what colour have our skin.i found ok too be a white woman whit a black man togheter.is our choise.we can chose somebody cause a fizical atracction or a good caracter.is about prefference.iun general i see more black man whit white woman like black woman whit white man.y dont understand this part.but races doesn t make the rules.bless

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  36.   Jennifer says:
    Posted: 24 Sep 08

    Why don't we all just admit we all have issues. For every issue someone says one black man has, another one doesn't for every issue someone says a black woman has another one doesn't. Same goes for white men and women and other races. I think it would be a lot easier on you guys if you just evaluated each person seperately. And if you find something you don't like about one particular race, just move on, because another person may like that attribute you hate. For instance, people make it seem negative when a black women is "high maintainance" well some people interpret it as her taking great pains to take care of herself and that she doesn't take any mess and that she is confident about herself. My only point is like what you like and don't blame other people if they don't like the same things you like or if they don't particularly like you.

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  37.   prettybrowneyes says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 08

    Well I am proud to say that I never had issues with blackmen being with whitewomen, I mean why should I? I prefer whitemen and my preference has NOTHING to do with blackmen, it is just what I prefer. Life is too short to upset myself by who someone else; especially a stranger dates. To each his own and live and let live. Whitemen are not better than blackmen, they just treat me better.

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  38.   Member says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 08

    silvertop: Is it not fair to say that contrary to the ethnicity; there will be someone within the group that would disapprove or find fault in the relationship? JL: My statements were in response to "Most of my Black female friends don’t like the sight of a good looking brother at a club with a White woman.” In other words, I was showing that the other side also responds in negative ways. One thing people appear to forget is the "different ways different groups of people show their displeasure." And, of course, there will be some exceptions to the rule. Some will let a "violator" know face-to-face or in public while others show their displeasure in passive ways.

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  39.   manowine says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 08

    It is my opinion that this is a generational issue. In general (and certainly never 100% of the time) I suspect that women under 30 have an easier time making the "first move" towards a man regardless of race and those women of my generation (over 50) would seldom approach a man directly. It is also my humble opinion that white men and women recognize that in order to break the barrier that they may have to be the ones who do.

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  40.   Member says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 08

    One of the primary problems with this question is the assumption that "all Black men & women" and "all white women & men" are the same. I know plenty of people of either group of genders/political labels that are not like the question alleges. Do white women or Black women of every socio-economic class have the same approach?! Another key area ignored is "non-verbal forms of flirting."

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  41.   Member says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 08

    One of the primary problems with this question is the assumption that "all Black men & women" and "all white women & men" are the same. I know plenty of people of either group of genders/political labels that are not like the question alleges. Another key area ignored is "non-verbal forms of flirting."

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  42.   cajuncreole says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 08

    Even the title of this post surprised me. I always thought white people (both women and men) were in general much more shy and that black men in particular tended to be much more bold about hitting on women of all races. (I actually thought the reason so many white women dated black men was because white men just took too long to ask them out and didn't have a very "fast game" but my idea is probably outdated and now apparently a lot of white women are a bunch of baracudas.) Will wonders never cease.

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  43.   JordanMardan says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 08

    lobbyist: Also we as black singles need to become more educted about business and entreprenuerial matters. We need to use the financial laws of the land such as investment laws that allow you to create you own company's stock and sell it to investors. We need to think prosperity beyond a damm pay check. JL: Members of ALL groups could stand to learn something about financial literacy. Why don't you go to financial expert Dave Ramsey's website and learn how *you* could get a grant from his organization to teach such classes in your community?! If the rent-to-own and payday loan businesses had only Blacks to rely on, they would have closed down a long time ago. How many white lottery winners are broke...waiting for that next installment check to arrive?! lobbyist: Yes you have some terrible whites, hispanics, asians, and Blacks. Until we clean up our own house of racism we should shut the Bleeeeeeeep up. We are killing eachother in the ghetto. JL: People are not killing each other in the ghetto because "the killers think they're biologically superior to their victims." That would be racism. lobbyist: So if a man is looking for a good women for a wife and she is of another race. My advice them them would be to start with as many interacial self hel books as possible. This allow them both to understand the pros and cons. The best book that I have ever read for couples is "Men are from Mars &n Women are from Venus." JL: That book targets white couples. It is NOT multicultural. Couples of Color have many, many issues to contend with that white couples don't...NOT to mention inter-ethnic couples. But I would agree with the "inter-ethnic self help books" and better yet, seek out such couples, form a club, a discussion group to learn from one another. lobbyists: true love is far beyond just sex, JL: Agreed. lobbyist: And if we as black men and women would do more of the above, esp. returning back to "God,", "God" will provide us with what "He" knows we need. JL: Surely you jest.

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  44.   JordanMardan says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 08

    lobbyist: "but I don't like high maintenance black women" John L: Hmmmmm. Puhleeze. I find that very laughable...because the ONLY Black men most white women will even look at twice...are the ones they perceive to be making big money: professional athletes, actors, and white-collar employees/professionals.

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  45.   lobbyist says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 08

    It is unfortunate that we as people are still playing the race game. When we die, the grave will not care what color you are. As for dating, blacks have been willie lynched in the mind and black women are losing there black men simply because of their attitudes that some body owes them something. They think that because men tell them they are attractive or fine, that men must pay to dine with them. So when another women of a different race looks into the heart of the man that the black woman would give a dime to, she sees what "God" tells her to see. I love black women and I am a black man, but I don't like high maintenance black women. Also we as black singles need to become more educted about business and entreprenuerial matters. We are still looking for 40 acres and a dam mule. We need to use the financial laws of the land such as investment laws that allow you to create you own company's stock and sell it to investors. We need to think prosperity beyond a damm pay check. Yes you have some terrible whites, hispanics, asians, and Blacks. Until we clean up our own house of racism we should shut the Bleeeeeeeep up. We are killing eachother in the ghetto. We are tripping off hispanics becoming legal immigrantsd in this country. We must get back to the things of "God." We have made money our god, cars, sex, drugs, homosexualtiy, lesbianism and more more. So if a man is looking for a good women for a wife and she is of another race. My advice them them would be to start with as many interacial self hel books as possible. This allow them both to understand the pros and cons. The best book that I have ever read for couples is "Men are from Mars &n Women are from Venus." true love is far beyond just sex, its the love of love to your mate from across the room. Its praying for your mate. Its about understanding what she really means when she says, "fine, nothing, five minutes, or its okay." This takes learning and humbling. And if we as black men and women would do more of the above, esp. returning back to "God,", "God" will provide us with what "He" knows we need. Peace

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  46.   Sucess says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 07

    As a white male my observation is the real life is 180 degrees from this this article. As a marketing major in college I learned to find out who is buying your product and tailor your marketing campaign to that group. As a young guy I soon found out that black women were shopping my product not white women. So this information backed up my natural inclination. In other words I like black women because they are more open about who and what they want than white chicks.

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  47.   Silvertop says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 07

    I found the questions JL state regarding white women and the backlash they may encounter being with a black male. Is it not fair to say that contrary to the ethnicity; there will be someone within the group that would disapprove or find fault in the relationship? It's ironic when we spew the words that "love is blind". It appears to me that some think that Love has color barriers.

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  48.   JordanMardan says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 07

    "Most of my Black female friends don’t like the sight of a good looking brother at a club with a White woman." JL: How many white women have been written out of their father's wills because they were dating or married to a Black guy?! How many white women have been fired because they showed up at the office Christmas party with a Black husband? And on and on and on?

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  49.   JordanMardan says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 07

    Why are nearly all the forum questions against Blacks? Two, aren't there other ethnicities that have problems? Why are nearly all the questions about Blacks and whites?

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  50.   silvertop says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 07

    I found the article to have some valid points on the teaching or conditioning of approaching a man. I do agree if there is a person male or female which catches your eye move forward. There are so many things in life we let pass by because of fear. Fear is no more than false evident appearing real!!!

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