Is dating white men all it's cracked up to be
There is this assumption that dating white men is something that women of other races should consider. The big question is: Is it better than dating men of their own races? Based on personal experiences, the argument seems to go both ways. Some women feel its not all that. Others feel that its all it's cracked up to be. But if you ask me, the success of any relationship, interracial or otherwise all boils down to personality and the connection that one has with the man. But that's just me.
Well, read on as we tackle this topic today...
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Are single white men better at dating women of color?
They are more appreciative of women of color
Is this really true? That white men are more appreciative of women of color? When it comes to white men dating, this is a topic that has been discussed at length. People have been debating about this. Well, given the rise in black women dating white men, one might argue that this argument holds water. Yes, people have been going on about how men of other races find black women the least attractive lot. But if that were true, would we be seeing more interracial relationships between black women and white men.
Now one thing we have to admit is that this is a touchy subject. One might ask, how is dating a white man different from dating men of other races? To be honest, the answer to this will be just but a generalization which might heavily rely on stereotypes and prejudices. How can we even begin to say that men of color are less appreciative of black women when we have seen quite a number who do?
The thing is dating white men is a personal choice. And more often than not, women who are looking for a white man to date do it because they are either attracted to white men or because they just happened to meet the right man in a white guy. Now for us to tackle the issue of appreciation, we will have to interview a lot of black men and women. And if we are to be fair, we will have to do it worldwide and not just in the U.S.
The thing is, for years, we have let colorism dictate who we choose to date and marry. And the media has always portrayed 'beautiful' to be white or fair skinned. So some black women have lived by this narrative and shy away from looking for a white man to date.
Well, one thing I can say is that if a black woman has been attracting the wrong kind of black men who treat her badly, chances are she will swear off dating black men and generalize them for being unappreciative of black women. So you might decide to switch to dating a white guy, only to end up with one who is also not appreciative of women.
Appreciation of women is not something that can be tied to race. It is tied to the man himself. Yes, there may be more black men who are married to white women. But this doesn't mean that they don't appreciate the beauty of the black woman. There could be a number of reasons that makes them date outside their race easily. Maybe they are more open-minded.
And then there are those who will dub the appreciation of the black woman by white men as fetishization. Well, as I said, white men dating can be a touchy subject. Let's just say that the black women who have managed to meet single white men who love, appreciate and respect them are just lucky to have found the right man. It has got nothing to do with race.
Compared to most black men, they match up to the levels of success of most black women
Again, I am not trying to generalize and say that dating white men is better for successful black women. But this is one true fact. This is because most black men let the gangsta mentality get to them at a very tender age. So they either find themselves dropping out of schools to join gangs or in prison. So this leaves the black woman with a limited pool of successful black men who can challenge them intellectually. And the chances of these few successful black men marrying interracially a higher because of the racial diversity and exposure that colleges offer.
So when using this as an argument we can be right in saying that maybe dating a white guy is the better option for the successful black women because it increases their chances of meeting quality, successful men.
Black women white men combo is the least likely to end up in divorce
Compared to white couples, apparently, the black men and white women interracial combo is 200% more likely to end up in divorce. On the other hand, the black women and white men combo is 44% LESS likely. So what could be the reason for this? Do white men treat black women better? Well, a lot of black women have confirmed that to be true. But like I said above, if a man is bad, he is bad despite the race.
Now there have also been comments by black men that sat that when paired with white men black women suddenly become more submissive and show their feminine side more. Apparently, they a more feminine with men of other races. Well, if this is true, then maybe black women learn how to date a white man better because it rubs off on them. Maybe most white men do know how to treat a woman better... They probably know a thing or two about how to bring out the best in a black woman.
They don't feel that the black woman's success is a challenge to their masculinity
Now, we have heard a lot about how the beautiful black woman is intimidating to men. Apparently, her level of education and success has made some less educated black men step back. She has been dubbed angry and that her success gets into her head. So they tend to take the driver's seat in all areas of the relationship. They emasculate the men they date.
This kind of intimidation and security has been cited as the reason why black men prefer dating women of other races. And the black women also feel that their success is not well appreciated by the black men. All this has caused a large rift between the relationships between black women and black men. So, black women are now becoming more inclined to dating interracially because they feel that white men are not challenged by their strong self. The white man's self-esteem seems to be higher hence making them better in romantic relationships.
The thing is, black women have been known to be very ambitious. Now, most white men don't find this intimidating at all. They are usually more supportive of the successful black woman. They see her success as a positive addition to the relationship and will do all he can to support it. He sees the black woman as his teammate instead of his competition.
The other thing that sets apart the majority of white men compared to men of color is that they don't live by the narrative that the woman's place is in the kitchen. When it comes to cooking or house chores, they are willing to offer a helping hand to their women. They don't view doing house chores as a challenge to their manhood. They are man enough not to let such trivial things threaten this.
Most women dating white men can attest to this. Most women who are dating a white man for the first time have backed this narrative. Yes, it might be a generalization but it is one that holds water.
This post is not meant to bash men of color. We know there are many of them who possess the qualities that we have mentioned above. What makes a man a better partner is his personality. Yes sometimes the culture we grow up in can have an influence on how we treat our spouses. If you grow with the mentality that men have to be submissive, chances are you will expect to be treated like a king and be boot-licked.
So looking at it from that angle, then there is a possibility that white men probably treat women of color better. They have the culture of opening doors for the woman. They are from the culture where they send their women flowers and surprise them with small little things. Plus, there is the notion that they are more open with their emotions and feelings and aren't afraid to express them. If that is the case, what's not to love?
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4 responses to "Is dating white men all it's cracked up to be"
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mickey3d says:Posted: 07 Sep 19
White men r very considerate, kind, & don't mind taking u out or picking up the tab. They treat u like the lady u r!! I'm sorry, but I won't date a black man
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Sailor-moon says:Posted: 31 Jul 19
Definitely for some white man are the type but really it's all to do with the inner heart and soul . That's what true hearts vision of inner beauty not exterior attachment.
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I can only speak for myself but the longest lasting relationship I have ever had was with my husband who passed in Feb of 2007 and he was a WM.