Cross-cultural respect

Posted by James, 28 Feb

In 1995, a pal of mine was vacationing in Hawaii. She met this African lady… love at first sight they call it. No words exchanged… just smiles across the table. Lucky enough both of them were staying in the same hotel so as fate would have it, they bumped into each other and that is how it all began. Let me press the fast forward button and get to the point :D

That night the dude called me and asked me to fax him as much info as I could about Kenya (Where the lady was coming from) coz apparently all he knew was the runners. I did. He spent hours on end trying to cram all the info I had faxed overnight. I was really impressed by him… having taken the time of his sleep just to learn and understand as much about where the lady was coming from.

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As if that wasn’t enough embracing for a lifetime, they decided to get married after 5 years of dating. The guy agreed to have a traditional wedding for her in Kenya. And he was willing to do it as Kenyans do it. He paid dowry… LOL!!! What crossed my mind when he told me this was – wasn’t the engagement ring rock big enough!!! :roll:

These are the little things about the other person’s culture we need accommodate. These are the little things that prove you love someone enough to respect their culture. And even though the groom and his entourage were ignored when they went to pick up the bride on the wedding day (they weren't even offered a cup of tea and it was freazing cold), it didn’t stop him. He had to say I DO!!!

Tell me... can you handle this?

4 responses to "Cross-cultural respect"

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  1.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    I'm learning so much from this site, it has been such a big help in understanding I'm not alone. Again Love and Blessings Sarah

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  2.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 09

    Well said, well said James! Perfect example of what I'm looking for. A man who understands that I'm a black woman and my culture is apart of who I am.I'm leary of dating someone of another race who wants bypass my culture. I find that alot here in the United States as a black woman. I find that caucasian men have no interest in accepting my culture. I find that using the reasoning that we are all human and color doesn't matter is a copout. Yes, we are all human and no color doesn't matter but culture does. Pretending that we are not different will eventually prove detrimental. It does show great love and true interest when a man EMBRACES the differences and comes to either love them or at least understands and accepts them. Peace

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  3.   Salome says:
    Posted: 13 Sep 07

    Hmmm.... I think this guy should have done a little more investigative work. Marry the bride--marry the family. The fact that he was snubbed but asked to pay dowry is worth the inquiry. And honestly, speaking from a lifetime of experience, some things have nothing to do with culture/country at all. It's purely personal. However, I wish this couple all the best. It sounds like the type of romance we would all hope for.

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  4.   Fala says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 07

    I think when you date outside your race you need to be open-minded toward different cultures and experiences. That's part of the appeal.

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