Are interracial marriages declining among immigrants
Due to the rise in interracial dating and marriages over the years, Americans have come to believe that more and more people will end up marrying interracially. However, according to a Washington Post report, this aint the case.
Sociologists have started studying how the children of immigrants who have flown into the U.S. in recent years will date and marry. Having looked at census data, the rate of Hispanics and Asians marrying interracially has fallen over the past 20 years. Between 1990 and 2000, the percentages fell from 27 to 20 percent for Hispanics and 42 to 33 percent for Asians … and the downward trend continued to last year.
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"The immigrant population fundamentally changes the pool of potential partners for Asians and Hispanics. It expands the number and reinforces the culture, which means the second generation . . . is more likely to marry people of their own ethnicity," said Daniel T. Lichter, a sociologist at Cornell University.
Bhavna Pandit, a political consultant of Indian descent says that much as people tend to rebel against their parents and traditions, now that she is 29, she actually cares about that stuff and is looking for an Indian man – and those are hard to find in Capitol Hill where she hails.
Apparently, most people of Asian, Latino and South Asian descent in their 20s and 30s who have attended some cultural speed dating events have expressed the desire to connect with someone who shares their roots. But having been raised within the American culture, the point of contention for them is: Would one be happier with an American partner or a recent immigrant?
If this is true, do you think it will affect the 'global village' we envision? Is this a threat to the future of interracial relationships?
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110 responses to "Are interracial marriages declining among immigrants"
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 17 Mar 09First off respect is earned not given. As most white men already know. Its almost always a brother yelling across a room or parking lot to a sister. Stay black or don't sellout out. When shes seen out with a white man. When the inverse situation is seen most white men point and whisper. Why is it that a white man is showing off?? Why can't he just be flirting or being playful in love. Some people are turned on by public affection. I'm one of them for the record. If it was white couple or black couple would they have been showing off? I think not! Your closed mind and elevated testosterone levels, make anything you don't agree with a problem. This is why black men are an endangered species. If a fight would have broken out would there have ben any winners?? You know that awnser right? One less elegible black man to date. Maybe its time to re-evaluate how you see and treat black women. All they want is a strong secure man and most aren't gold diggers. Had it been me in the court house and I was insulted. I would have had no recourse but, to clown and let the chips fall where they may. No women wants a pussy. Fighting isn't always a solution. If I have no choice I will take or give a beating for my special somebody!! No pouting later win/lose. As I said sir respect is earned not given. I'm not a player and don't desire to be one. Call me what you want. I want one full service, goofy humored, extremely flexible, freak at home to explore and play with forever. As long as she has a job, is cute, smart, and a total lady in public. I say winner winner, chicken dinner!!
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Member says:Posted: 17 Mar 09
LOL jecro Pisces are nice. Very focused and know what they want. Nothing wrong with being self righteous. I guess we all are in some way. I once saw a crack head get mad at alcoholic. That is the nature of people. In response to Destiny, black women are controlling point blank. I haven't met a black woman that wasn't a little controlling. Some are passive aggressive about it, but they do want control in their relationship. Some want control so bad they even cry. What the fuck are you crying about. You can't control a man, you can only let a man be a man!
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Destinysdiva says:Posted: 17 Mar 09
Wow, I am in control....of my life. I always tell a man I am dating that there are times and things that he can handle better than I can and there are times when I can handle a situation better then he can. I have taken from my mom and dad, "I don't care who does it as long as it gets do. Yes, there are controling Black women and there are controling White, Hispanic, Asian, Eskimos, Native-Americans, Indian, and African women. The difference is when the label is put on women of other races and cultures they are strong but Black women are always controling. I am tired of the double standard, but to each his/her own. I need to control my life and finish this paper.
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jecrego1972 says:Posted: 16 Mar 09LMAO! If you do, Mr Queens, then count me as the first to buy it. Just depends on the subject material. I have been with women, and yes, two of those were African-American, and both I did not love, nor were they girlfriends of mine. So to answer that question: Y-E-S! I'm a Rat (Chinese Zodiac), Pisces (Greek Zodiac), so I'd say I'm pre-disposed to being self-righteous, then if that's a crime; then pronounce me guilty as charged.
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Member says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
Dear Destiny and jecre I am sorry you disagree with some of my statements. I don't apply my observations to personal cases destiny. I can see why you might be upset. As for jecre you come off self righteous. Have you slept with a woman you did not love? Have you had multiple partners in your lifetime? Nothing I say is baseless or without valid reason. You refer to me hinting that African American women being sex starved wenches. I don't use words like sex starved and wenches. Perhaps, that is what you think about them. Then you turn around and say "yea you need to be strong and not some puppy on a string". WHAT???? I think your talking out of two sides of your mouth. The rest of your comments were on point, and I do agree with some of it. I am glad with can disagree without being violently disagreeable. I will still stick to my statements concerning women. Of course, I will have some black women that take things personal. Tigger you listen to me and you will understand the black woman. They will do anything to exert their control over you. You have to be "heavy handed" like jecre mentioned. There is no other way. I should write a book.
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jecrego1972 says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
I'll give Destinysdiva the 'Amen' she richly deserves, woman of all shapes and sizes aren't looking for just sex. In most case, they're looking for love and support, sex just comes with the territory and should not be a haphazard wrestling match nor bargained for with trades and such. As for Mr. Queens, your idea, sir, is entirely outrageous and baseless. You seem to have it in mind that African-American woman are sex starve 'wenches' are for just a good time. True, you need be strong and not some 'puppy-tied-to-a-string' Johnny on the spot type guy. But being heavy handed, well, that'll get you nothing in the long run. The article, however, just shows a trend in the way people are thinking now, and due to the economy, who can blame them? Face it, we are changing, but to what? God only knows. Plus, throw in these ignorant jerks who run the state and local governments who are seeking ways to bar immigrants from ever coming to our shores, and things only get worse from there. The idea of equality has now become nothing more than a punchline in a bad joke told by Jay Leno and friends on the late night shows. mean, for Jumping Jupiter's sake, they're building a wall along the Mexican-American border. If that's not bad. I don't know what is. It comes as no shock to me to seeing the trends of the eighties and nighties coming to an end. However, I think this will be short lived.
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Destinysdiva says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
Look I do love sex, when it is with the man I am with. The problem with you and other men who think like you is you take one sister who has acted a fool and you pin that label on all of us. When I have sex with a man it is because I care for him. Tigggerfan don’t listen to him if you want a true woman. The reason most black women date men of other races is because of this bull crap. Mr Laurelton Queens, I have always been loyal to the man I am with…period. Being kind, loyal, and respectful is not a problem. What you are describing is.
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imarose says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
evidently some of my comments were offensive or something, because they have been deleted....
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imarose says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
I had written some wonderful remarks about how I can't straighten anyone out... people who change makeup their own mind to change. And how if you believe Ms. tatted2death that Mr. Queens has that agenda, why would you feed that and Mr. Queen admitted he may need to mellow his form a bit? I said a bunch of other things and ended by saying.... Y'ALL DON'T MAKE ME QUOTE RODNEY KING, CAUSE I WILL! But they deleted it for some reason. Such is life!
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imarose says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
I had replied to tatted2death, a long time ago, but it seems it was deleted for some reason....I'm going to try again. Hold UP! First, let me say, I’m not here to straighten anybody out… Nobody can straighten anybody out here, the quicker we get that, the smoother things will go. Now if a person makes some change, it’s because they chose to not because I don’t have that kind of power, (If I did, I’d be married and not on a dating site). Like I said before, I’m not sure who started it, and I don’t really care, but I’ve seen plenty of name calling from everyone and it would seem like we would all grow weary of it. I am not trying to defend Mr. Queens actions, but it would seem to me tatted2death, if you believe that his agenda is (and I’m not saying you are right or wrong), to divde us and tickle his fancy, then why would you feed that monster. We all have our reasons for why we think we do what we do and then beyond that is often a deeper reason. I’ve got much love for everyone no matter what culture or back ground or who you are. If I’ve said anything that may have seemed divisive, that was not my intent. You know that you are a good woman right? Like I said before there is no one here that causes the sun to rise or set or has a heaven or hell to put me so when the name calling starts, I know that’s not my name. I don’t have a thing to prove to anyone so I can see what everyone is saying some I agree with and some I don’t and then share what I believe is the truth and hope that I’m understood. I understand where you are coming from and can see why you would be provoked by Mr. Queens words, but both have made some good points in between the arguing… Y’ALL DON’T MAKE ME QUOTE RODNEY KING, ‘CAUSE I WILL.. PEACE
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imarose says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
Hold UP! First, let me say, I’m not here to straighten anybody out… Nobody can straighten anybody out here, the quicker we get that, the smoother things will go. Now if a person makes some change, it’s because they chose to not because I don’t have that kind of power, (If I did, I’d be married and not on a dating site). Like I said before, I’m not sure who started it, and I don’t really care, but I’ve seen plenty of name calling from everyone and it would seem like we would all grow weary of it. I am not trying to defend Mr. Queens actions, but it would seem to me tatted2death, if you believe that his agenda is (and I’m not saying you are right or wrong), to divde us and tickle his fancy, then why would you feed that monster. We all have our reasons for why we think we do what we do and then beyond that is often a deeper reason. I’ve got much love for everyone no matter what culture or back ground or who you are. If I’ve said anything that may have seemed divisive, that was not my intent. You know that you are a good woman right? Like I said before there is no one here that causes the sun to rise or set or has a heaven or hell to put me so when the name calling starts, I know that’s not my name. I don’t have a thing to prove to anyone so I can see what everyone is saying some I agree with and some I don’t and then share what I believe is the truth and hope that I’m understood. I understand where you are coming from and can see why you would be provoked by Mr. Queens words, but both have made some good points in between the arguing… Y’ALL DON’T MAKE ME QUOTE RODNEY KING, ‘CAUSE I WILL.. PEACE
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imarose says:Posted: 16 Mar 09
…First, let me say, I’m not here to straighten anybody out… Nobody can straighten anybody out here, the quicker we get that, the smoother things will go. Now if a person makes some change, it’s because they chose to not because I don’t have that kind of power, (If I did, I’d be married and not on a dating site). Like I said before, I’m not sure who started it, and I don’t really care, but I’ve seen plenty of name calling from everyone and it would seem like we would all grow weary of it. I am not trying to defend Mr. Queens actions, but it would seem to me tatted2death, if you believe that his agenda is (and I’m not saying you are right or wrong), to divde us and tickle his fancy, then why would you feed that monster. We all have our reasons for why we think we do what we do and then beyond that is often a deeper reason. I’ve got much love for everyone no matter what culture or back ground or who you are. If I’ve said anything that may have seemed divisive, that was not my intent. You know that you are a good woman right? Like I said before there is no one here that causes the sun to rise or set or has a heaven or hell to put me so when the name calling starts, I know that’s not my name. I don’t have a thing to prove to anyone so I can see what everyone is saying some I agree with and some I don’t and then share what I believe is the truth and hope that I’m understood. I understand where you are coming from and can see why you would be provoked by Mr. Queens words, but both have made some good points in between the arguing… Y’ALL DON’T MAKE ME QUOTE RODNEY KING, ‘CAUSE I WILL.. PEACE
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tatted2death says:Posted: 15 Mar 09I sure am glad that imarose and dr niecey took the time and effort to straighten you out a bit, Mr. Queens. But I am fully aware of your issue and agenda as it pertains to this website, therefore I suffer you no more. Calling names and making attempts to further divide women of color are weak at best. The only thing you have suceeded in accomplishing here is HIJACKING every thread that tickles your fancy....like this place was made for you and your personal stance or something....CONGRATULATIONS. I hope that does something to lift your spirits....it seems that you have some void that may never be filled. Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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imarose says:Posted: 15 Mar 09
Hey Mr. Brother Laurelton! I hear what you are saying and agree with you that sometimes we have a mindset about what we want, how our mate should look, act and such, but then we meet that person who is much or everything we were looking for wrapped in a different package or even someone we were looking for at all but somehow we work! I've had that happen. I think a couple of things contribute to the disfunction of male/female relationsships. One is the fact that women, especially brown women have had to fight so long to gain "equal" rights and the farther we get into the work force, the more women get confused about who they are as women. Not that we can't work and do our thing, 'cause the Poverbs 31 woman did it all, but she still maintained her womanhood! I heard a woman the other day say "I had to be the mother and the father!" and while I understood where she was coming from, my first thought was, "I'm sure you are a great mother, but you could never take the place of that young man's father" That's not her role hard as she worked, that is just not a woman's role. The other thing is that we have made the word submissive a curse word. We submit to something or someone everyday, the law, our boss and even our friends when they make suggestions to go somewhere we don't want to go, but we go anyway. But when it comes to the most important relationships, engagement and marriage, then there is an issue. Submit just means to yeild...We as women are saying, I don't want to submit to any man! From my perspective, if you are in a relationship with someone you know has your best interest at heart because he loves you more than anything and you both share you hearts about matters that concern the both of you, noone should have a problem with submission! People get the word of God all twisted and some men and women think submitting means being ruled over, but if you read it all, the first thing it says is, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (THAT MEANS EVERYBODY) then it says wives submit... to your husband.... right before it says, "Husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" It goes on to talk about how Christ makes the church holy and pure and the He turns around and presents the church back to Himself without spot or blemish, through the Word! THEN it says, in the same way, husbands should love there wives because if he loves her this way, he is loving himself. That to me is a powerful ministry and should make it easy for women to yeild, but so many have got it screwed up, men and women alike! I know Judeo-Christian value are looked down on in many circles, but if we got the right perspective, we all would be much happier.
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Member says:Posted: 15 Mar 09
Dear Dr Niecy and Imarose You both make good points. As far as being black enough. I was treated the same way when I open my mouth. From my appearance I look like a thug. That was it so easy for me to go into the hood and projects and nobody bothered me. Yes, I have dated women in the "projects" and bad neighborhoods. Many of them smart women but their family is sort of dysfunctional. That is why it bothers me that people practice this black class warfare. At the same time, I understand why we do it. I don't go out of my way to go to the projects lol. If she is a nice girl I can't really judge on her that. When I met my fiancee she was in a bad neighborhood in Brooklyn NYC. I was sort of just hanging out with her because I was dating professional black women usually from the same neighborhood. The only difference was the professional black women were in a "better" part of Brooklyn. Yea it took me sometimes to overcome my own idea of "class" and status. I remember I went to a mixer with my ex lawyer girlfriend with her "sorority friends. Once in awhile, they would talk about "ghetto girls". They would say something like " Yea his baby mother is from the projects". They only talked about them in the context of dating and competition for men. They did talk about "ghetto men" too. More of just sleeping with them but nothing "serious". Yea we do go off our experiences in the dating game. I don't want people to think I just experience one side of black women dating. This idea I just mess with "ghetto women" is not true. From my experience, it is more difficult to date a college educated black woman. They try to approach relationships like they do a job or college class. You can't control everything. A friend of mine she is a lawyer said college educated black men want us to be submissive and have their cake and eat it too. I laughed like that might be true. At the end of the day, most college educated black men want a woman that is the equivalent to them but sexually freaky. Getto girls tend to provide that. Men are men at the end of the day. By the way, there is nothing wrong with being independent. The problem is some black women come off "too independent" and when things go bad for them. That man there with is reluctant to help them. For example, a woman I was messing with said this "black men rather help a bitch that has nothing" than a black woman that has "something". I thought that was partly true. Men do want to feel needed. That was the appeal to my fiancee. She is a good woman she is just not academically inclined. Plus, when I met her she sort of "homeless". After awhile, it turned into a Tyler Perry Madea goes to jail situation. My ex lawyer girlfriend was like why she always at your apartment? Things just fell apart from there. It was falling apart anyway because my spirit wasn't in it. If a person makes you happy I had to overlook MANY things. It was a hard decision to make at the time.
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drniecey2b says:Posted: 15 Mar 09A lot of people would love to have the finer things in life and there is nothing wrong with that at all because they are pursuing what makes them happy and that is their right. Gold diggers may be up front and honest about what it is they want and I am as well. Some of those women go after men who drive the big fancy cars or wear the best designer gear and whatnot without even paying attention to how he treats her or how he was even able to purchase those types of things, but I can be content with just the simple things in life. I drive a Toyota Corolla. I don't feel that a guy is not worthy enough to date just because he doesn't drive a Benz or he doesn't wear Versache or whatever the latest name-brand trend is. To me the man's heart, how he treats me and our compatibility is what I tend to look at. And of course there has to be some degree of physical attraction there. If I get to the point in my life where I can afford those "finer things" and that's what I wanted for myself then I would splurge and spoil myself and/or family. I grew up in south central L.A. so it's not like I came from a rich family that stressed owning top-notch stuff. We survived with what we had. I just thank the Lord that I do have reliable transportation, a roof over my head, nice clothes to put on my back, my health and strength and a sound mind. And what's wrong with being independent? Why would you want to have to depend on someone else for all your needs and wants? Going around bragging about being independent is not something that I usually do but I don't necessarily need anyone to take care of me either. My mom pushed my brother and I to get a good education so we could be able to care for ourselves because we have cousins and other family members that have failed to do that and are now living in pitiful situations i.e. in and out of jail, on the verge of being evicted because they can't pay their rent, have kids but can't care for them, etc. It's all about just looking out for yourself because in the long run no one else is going to do that for you.
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imarose says:Posted: 15 Mar 09
Mr. Queens, Yeah, we women for the most part like for our men to share their hearts with us. If you've got a good one, then I thinks you should trust her with your heart. (Proverb 31:11) It sounds to me like you were dealt some blows and carry a few scars yourself and that is understandable, I would just encourage you to try and not have a knee jerk reaction based on your experience to some things people say and encourage others to do the same. Lumped all brother into one pile based on my experience, I would have cut off some great relationships and friendships. I am a cultured and diverse person and so brothers did think I was black enough or tried to put me in a box as to how I should act and for the most part didn't want to date me...I really had to fight reacting to people who approached me certain ways, because I felt like I was being judged, sometime I was, but most times that wasn't the case. I hope you have a great time in PA... I hope you take the time to share your heart with you fiance', I think it will be a great release for you and I can tell you from a woman's heart, that she will feel more loved and trusted if you do. Peace
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Member says:Posted: 15 Mar 09
LOL Imarose Nothing wrong with being traditional. If nappy headed black women lol didn't say they were independent all the damn time 70 percent of them wouldn't be single. I know that is simplistic when it deeper than that. When I was in undergrad getting my degree. Black women really wasn't interested in some black men going to college. I was a grown man when I was in college like 23. Anyway, they pretty much didn't pay them any consideration. I remember I was at graduation for college. That was the only time these nappy headed black girls started noticing us in "like a romantic serious way". By the time, I just wanted to work and live the life. As time went on, they had children with the "negros" that didn't go to college. They would drop them and be left with the baby. Meanwhile, I am building my resume up. I dated a couple of them but I just felt like I wanted my own kids. Many guys I went to college with felt the same way. It went from " I am too good for you". To you calling us at work asking what we are doing. Then these black women wonder why "black men dog them out". It is sad because many good black women make "bad decisions" but why should professional black men overlook that. Just like you wouldn't like twice at a black man with a felony record. A majority of black women just don't understand where black men come from. My fiancee says I never talk to her "about deep things". She also says I work to much and never spend "quality time". I decided I am going to take her on a trip to PA this weekend. I do need to relax and shut off my blackberry and all my other "laptops". I rather do my talking on my blog and other blogs. Most black men don't reveal their "true feelings" about relationships. Why you think black women read novels and like fags like "Neyo" and whatever R&B artist they like. Good day.
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imarose says:Posted: 15 Mar 09
Mr. Queens, The difference between drniecey2b and a gold digger and forgive me for speaking for you sis... is the willingness of a who is looking for love and because she has been working on making herself the best she can be, she had drawn to herself someone who happens to be wealthy and she is willing to give she has and is to that relationship and wants the relationship above everything else and wealth is an added benefit. A gold digger may or may not put it out there that she is a gold digger, but she is in it only for herself and what she can get. She doesn't care about the person she is in the relationship with outside of what he can do for her. Now I may set womankind back a few years, but I'm speaking for myself right now. I want someone who can take care of me in every way shape and form, you don't have to be rich (to start), but financial stablity and a desire to build wealth is a desire of mine. Should I not marry, I will be wealthy and I want someone like minded. See I know how I put my all into my relationships, I take care of mine and expect nothing less. So do I knock the person who is a bus driver? know, but do you have the desire, the uction, the passion and courage to strive beyond that? If no, that is cool, but the direction I'm going, we'd probably grow apart. So, yeah, I want to be with someone who has the same passion I have and wants to be my man who takes care of me and knows I've got his back just the same. PERIOD! And to clear it up what I said earlier,because I thought I had stated it clearly...I speaking about black women, because that's who Mr. Tiggerfan dates, but that goes for everyone, including black men Mr. Queen. And stop saying napppy headed like it's a bad thing! lol joker!
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Member says:Posted: 15 Mar 09
Dear Imarose I never thought about that. Now your giving me a perspective I never seen before. Most black women have low self esteem or some sort of insecurity. I am not saying that to be mean. The media outlets and BET makes black women believe they have to have a stripper body and be a Jezebel attract men. I will agree that assumptions have contributed to women being bothered by my comments here and (my personal life). Sometimes I am too brutally honest. If I just "sort of played" the game I would have had more women before I got engaged. All I am saying to Tigger is if his approach is not working for him. You have to alter your style. I will not lie to you many men pass over "average" black women. Then get mad when they don't get the black girl with the "big butt and pretty face". I would have to agree with you we draw that to us sometimes. Black women have more to overcome than any race of women when it comes to dating. I know I use to test them to see if their "weak". I am aware it is hard for them to stand their ground. All I can say is loyalty is everything to a man. I can't stress this enough. Your reputation is very important. I don't care if all your friends is whores. Just guard your reputation because it pays off in the end. Other than I got no more advice for these nappy headed black women. I hope they fail like Obama!
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imarose says:Posted: 15 Mar 09
...What I mean by "a certain sista" Mr. Queen, is... If Mt. Tiggerfan gives the appearance of "a player" as you advised Mr. Tiggerfan to do, then he will draw a wounded woman with low self-esteem and ultimatly it will end up being a relationship in turmoil. This is not a woman who necessarily comes to you with her head hung low, but often times comes with MUCH MUCH vibrato. You've met these women and even men like this who over compensate and are pretty over the top and often times are full of attitude because they are hurt...all many of them are trying to do is get valided and show everybody they can get the one everyone else wants, but they can be a problem child in relationships. I'm not saying they aren't worthy of relationship, but they need to get healed before they can be in a healthy relationship and that goes for both genders! Hurt people just end up hurting other people and the cycle continues. I write this from experience and until I was willing to take a good look on the inside and ask God to help face the hurts and deal with them, I kept pick cheating jerks... Black Jerks, White Jerks, Bi-cultural Jerks and Asian Jerks! You often will draw to yourself what you believe you deserve and once I, with the help of the Lord fixed my thinking, I understood that I'm a good woman worthy of fidelity and I don't draw the same type of guy I use to. So I say again Mr. Tiggerfan, If you are trying to attract a certain type of sista, then you listen to what Mr. Queens is saying, but if you looking for a solid woman, you may want to try a different route. Just be yourself, I don’t get the impression you are having women issue.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Dear Dr Niecy There is always is going to be a double standard when it comes to men and women. Society laughs at a man that is a virgin. Some women have told me they wouldn't be with a man that was a virgin and they are a virgin themselves! I never said you put anyone down. My thing is when people throw around the words "decent women" and "certain type of women". I want to know what exactly you are referring to. Since, I get to the point and never tap dance. I have dated church girls to ghetto girls. All of them had some type of flaw. One common theme they all seem to have was insecurity. Just my personal observation. Also,if a woman was a gold digger, what exactly makes her "different" from you for instance. At least she is up front about what she wants in life. Opposed to women who screen "selectively" and then turn around and lie about "not wanting those material things." This was an interesting discussion. I still don't like fake people. She knows who she is. Good day
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drniecey2b says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Mr. Queens, that is your idea of a "decent" woman. No one is perfect and never will be. Would a man have to be untouched to be considered decent as well? I don't feel that I'm better than anyone and I didn't put anyone down trying to make myself seem as such. I just don't like being stereotyped.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Exactly Your not going to know. So why the certain "caliber of women" comment. Take your own advice you FAKE PHONY!
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tatted2death says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
I AM TIRED OF SAD PEOPLE......FOR REAL!!!!!! to all those just seeking there own personal happiness (without trying to hurt anyone else....even if it means staying within your own culture, religion,etc)... Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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tatted2death says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
I know what I meant and I went a step further (not that I should have to) and explained it....(did you read????....probably NOT) and REALITY CHECK.....this is the internet. You are NEVER going to "really" know anyone from just a few typed sentences....if you think that is possible I don't know what to say for you. I really couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me personally here....I offer my opinions and push the hail on. Some people won't ever be satisfied therefore they will forever be miserable.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Here we go Now, what could " certain caliber" of women mean? Some people are playing word games because they just realized what they "really" meant by that statement. Keep it real on here. Don't tap dance around it. I am tired of fake people for real!
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tatted2death says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Again....I state, Tiggerfan does not appear to be the sort that really needs help finding a woman that will suit him..(I am sure he has his own set of standards.) And before my words get twisted or misconstrued by ANYONE here (again)....when I said "certain caliber of women" that had nothing to do with race or even social class. That statement had roots in the things that I look for in a mate(regardless of race, social/financial status) as well; integrity, solid value system and so on. Having these things doesn't absolutely make someone better than the next but it certainly can make you more compatible.......PERIOD. All the snap judgements and assumptions are for the birds. GIVE UP YOU DEVISIVE AGENDA>>>>>>EVERY TOPIC DOES NOT CALL FOR IT.. Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Allright my last two messages were a test I was having a computer issue. First off respect is earned not given. As most white men already know. Its almost always a brother yelling across a room or parking lot to a sister. Stay black or don't sellout out. When shes seen out with a white man. When the inverse situation is seen most white men point and whisper. Why is it that a white man is showing off?? Why can't he just be flirting or being playful in love. Some people are turned on by public affection. I'm one of them for the record. If it was white couple or black couple would they have been showing off? I think not! Your closed mind and elevated testosterone levels, make anything you don't agree with a problem. This is why black men are an endangered species. If a fight would have broken out would there have ben any winners?? You know that awnser right? One less elegible black man to date. Maybe its time to re-evaluate how you see and treat black women. All they want is a strong secure man and most aren't gold diggers. Had it been me in the court house and I was insulted. I would have had no recourse but, to clown and let the chips fall where they may. No women wants a pussy. Fighting isn't always a solution. If I have no choice I will take or give a beating for my special somebody!! No pouting later win/lose. As I said sir respect is earned not given. I'm not a player and don't desire to be one. Call me what you want. I want one full service, goofy humored, extremely flexible, freak at home to explore and play with forever. As long as she has a job, is cute, smart, and a total lady in public. I say winner winner, chicken dinner!!
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
P.S. I know some spelling is wrong. Eligible. I'm a closet perfectionist.
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Allright my last two messages were a test I was having a computer issue. First off respect is earned not given. As most white men already know. Its almost always a brother yelling across a room or parking lot to a sister. Stay black or don't sellout out. When shes seen out with a white man. When the inverse situation is seen most white men point and whisper. Why is it that a white man is showing off?? Why can't he just be flirting or being playful in love. Some people are turned on by public affection. I'm one of them for the record. If it was white couple or black couple would they have been showing off? I think not! Your closed mind and elevated testosterone levels, make anything you don't agree with a problem. This is why black men are an endangered species. If a fight would have broken out, would there have been any winners?? You know that awnser right? One less elegible black man to date. Maybe its time to re-evaluate how you see and treat black women. All they want is a strong secure man and most aren't gold diggers. Had it been me in the court house and I was insulted. I would have had no recourse but, to clown and let the chips fall where they may. No women wants a pussy. Fighting isn't always a solution. If I have no choice I will take or give a beating for my special somebody!! No pouting later win/lose. As I said sir respect is earned not given. I'm not a player and don't desire to be one. Call me what you want. I want one full service, goofy humored, extremely flexible, freak at home to explore and play with forever. As long as she has a job, is cute, smart, and a total lady in public. I say winner winner, chicken dinner!!
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Mr. Queens I do not share many of your views.
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Mr. Queens I do not share many of your views
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Man this guy is something out of horror story!!
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Member says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Let me address Dr Niecey I would agree with you that you should want a man that brings something to the table. Now the type of man you "consider" worthy is something else. There are plenty of bus drivers, mechanics, and other black men that work blue collar jobs that are available. So, if it was never about the money, many black women in your position would have a mate to settle down with. Then again, I have heard commentary that contradicts that notion. Things like " We have nothing in common" to other excuses. There is plenty of men that will love you for you. Instead, you stick your nose up at them. I have never been with a woman that has cheated on me. Prior to being engaged, I have dated many black women who were dating "other men." That never really bothered me because you have to keep your options open when it comes to dating. This whole idea of dating 'decent women" is a myth. What is the standard of being a "decent woman". If I applied my standards to what I define is a decent woman it would be a woman that is a "virgin" and goes to church and never compromised her values. That is rare to find. I guess it makes "some" black women feel good to think they are distinguishing themselves from the "rest."
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Member says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
Dear Tigger Listen, you have been dating black women since 1987 right? Obviously, there is a common theme you are seeing out there. Most of these women have a biased opinion because it is me saying this to you. If everything "they were" saying were true you wouldn't be having problem now would you? I stick to all my statements. This class warfare "some of these black women" are trying to do on the board is funny to me. It always the "elitist" black women looking down "on other black women". Yet, it's that segment of black female population having relationship problems. The nice guys like end up the "friendship" category carrying their bags at the mall or hearing them whine about men they like that treat them "supposedly" bad. Oh yea, I am engaged, and I didn't have to change who I was as a person. You don't conform to women; they conform to you. God Bless
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tatted2death says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
I agree with Imarose....it really doesn't seem like tigger really needs any advice from anyone (especially someone that has undoubtedly been around a certain caliber of woman) Peace -tatted2death
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wildcat1976 says:Posted: 14 Mar 09I have the above articles on interacial dating. For me its not about race or the differences in culture its the individual man and the way he treats me. I will say I do prefer the brothers and that is only because I have had a hard life and they seem to understand and are able to b supportive in a way that someone who has not been thru it cant. The sex issue and all that not important as said above making generalities about such a private issue is just stupid because each individual has different needs. Its not determined by race or culture. I have found that it is hard to get acceptence from both sides of the issue if i like the brothers then im stealin a good man from the black woman and if i like the brothers then im dissen my own race hello wake up we all people skin color or culture shouldnt matter its the person that counts!!!
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drniecey2b says:Posted: 14 Mar 09
"...black women want sex more than men do...". That is your opinion, sir. This may be true for some people but I can only speak for myself. You sure are making a lot of stereotypes. "Black women claim they want a white man." This isn't true for everyone. I have plenty of friends who seem gung-ho about staying within thier race claiming the darker the man the better. Also, I don't think all men are players. That would be like me saying all men think women are golddiggers which is certainly not true. I don't go after men for money. Never have. I believe that I am capable of taking care of myself but when it comes to marriage I would like to have a man that is able to bring something to the table and is able to care for a family. I don't need the materialistic things i.e. big fancy cars, designer clothes, mansion, etc. Sure those things are nice but I think I'd rather have a man that loves me for who I am and cares for me and my interests and I will definitely give him the same in return. I'd prefer a man who is financially stable and that could be from any race because I refuse to be the only one working and the man is sitting around at home all day doing nothing or trying to be a "player". Times are hard these days and having a two-income household will really be beneficial. Also, why would anyone in their right mind want to stay with a player anyway, which could eventually lead to "cheater"? Would you want to stay with a woman that cheats on you or would you give her props for being a "player"? Or would you just label her a slut like how it usually goes? Tiggerfan, you know what you are looking for in a woman but like rose said, if you're trying to attract that certain type of woman that Mr. Queens described then take his advice. Just know that there are plenty of decent women out there who want more than just sex.
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imarose says:Posted: 13 Mar 09
Tiggerfan, If you are trying to attract a certain type of sista, then you listen to what Mr. Queens is saying, but if you looking for a solid woman, you may want to try a different route. Just be yourself, I don't get the impression you are having women issue.
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Member says:Posted: 13 Mar 09
Dear Tigger I rarely give advice to white guys on black women. You seem like a good guy. The problem you kiss their black girl's asses to much. Your capable of getting a model black girl and she will do anything you want her to do. Just never be soft. Black women claim they want a white man. The problem is they are use to a black man's characteristics. They essentially want you to have the status of a white man financially but the aggressiveness of a black man in pursuing them. If I was a white guy and I wanted a black woman. Compliment them. Focus on your career. Then "whore" them out. The Achilles heel of a majority of black women (except those who are virgins on purpose) is sex. Black women are going to say "he lying about sex". Man, Listen black women want sex more than men do. Some are just "conservative about it". Lastly, give the apperance of a "player" but downplay it as if your not. If someone call your phone just say it is a female from work. Black women think men are players anyway. It is really no use convincing them your not. Just never follow through on it. If you are a "player" be discreet. Never flaunt it in her "ashy' face because black women ego won't allow them to stay with you. Anyway I am out These black girls want to black ball me because they know " I am the truth"
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Member says:Posted: 12 Mar 09
Dear Tigger I understand how you feel. Some white guys I have hung out with at work are better friends than my homeboys I have at home. That is actually pretty sad if you ask me. I am a loyal person regardless of race. If I feel you doing something wrong I am going to say that. Interracial relationships I don't agree with but if a black woman loves a white man and they been through hell and back I can accept that. I was at Traffic Court last night. Me and this homeboy was on line and we saw a black girl with a white guy. Apparently, the white guy was trying to show off but grabbing her around the neck and kissing her. I was sort of looking so the big black dude next to me is looking too. He was like "ain't that some shit". I was like " you know how that go". Long story short I felt the tension because I was like "man white boy you better not saying nothing". Because the big black dude was talking shit. I guess trying to bait the white boy into something "he can't handle". Anyway we get into the traffic court and the big black dude got like 5 arrest warrants. I was like "whoa" and he still looking at them. I told the big black dude like "man let them go" it ain't worth it. I saved that white boy ass. But if he did talk shit with his black girlfriend. I would have had to whoop his ass. I am a street dude at the end of the day. Don't show off you will get your ass beat up. Good day.
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tigggerfan says:Posted: 12 Mar 09
The rose has it right black men have taken white women for more than the reverse. I personally have been dating black women since 1987. It was very uncommomn and frowned on by races on both sides. I just liked the culture and styles myself. I've tried both but I just felt more intune with a nubian princess by my side. I truly feel like a black man trapped in a white body. I know some people just will not understand this. Some people just want to so wild oats. They really don't want a deep relationship those are the ones who fail. To make an interracial relationship work you have to enlighten all the family and friends you have. About how they see things and break down barriers that we are born and raised with. If you and your partner can do this lfe will be great. The problem is that so many are weak minded and pretenders. Or they date outside their race to spite someone else which results in disaster.
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imarose says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
I hear what you are saying.... But don't forget, it has been popular for a brotha to date outside his culture a lot longer than a sista outside of hers! LOL! Have a great day.
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Member says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
Dear Imarose You make excellent points. I think I am far from self righteous. I just think this attitude sellout black women concerning black men is very ugly. Therefore I resort to their tactics in my statements. I guess for those who are not in the blog world that much. I study metaphors and writing styles. There is always subliminal messages when it comes to stating your opinion. I rather just come out and say how I feel. Just because I don't use the extensive vocabulary when it comes to writing does not mean I don't understand the idea they are trying to get across. I can debate the subject in a fair manner. I just think some of them get in the "gutter". I can get in the "gutter" with them. You mention about racism by family members concerning interracial relationships. Instead of attacking these people for saying they don't want their white son mixing with a negro girl. You get mad at me like I was the one that said it. Where is the outrage when that is said. It is more convenient to blame black men for your not being accepted by his white family. Everybody is like "Laurelton leave them alone". I left them alone UNTIL they get on television and Essence and Ebony magazine disrespecting black men. They never see what provokes black men like me. You so happy with your white man why you drag us into your self hatred and loathing. Accept your a sellout and you left your community to "shuck and jive" for white people that clearly are not enamored with you. I actually expect negative reactions because you got to understand something. They deal with this in their daily lives so I just represent that anger and frustration. I am glad we can have a respectful dialogue. When black women realize they are picked first black men instead of last by white men. Then everything will be fine. God bless
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imarose says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
Bless your heart Mr. Queens. One minute you are slamming the white man for his racist ways and the next you are defending him for not wanting to date "nappy headed black women." That may or may not make them prejudice, but not racist as you well know, that is more about economic power than social or romantic interaction. In my opinion, if someone doen't want to get involved outside of their culture, that is okay and in most cases much easier, because some people can not handle it and continue to look down on those who may date and marry outside their culture. We all belong to the same race... different cultures yes, but the same race. Okay, so one woman said she regreted marrying her white husband... So! My best friend who by the way is nappy and happy has been married to the same man for 20 years. It has lasted this long mostly because they didn't allow outside forces such as family and friends to butt into their marriage. I'm trying to cut you some slack Brother Queens, but you just keep coming off as bitter and angry. I grew up in the 80's like you, but in the south...and I see your point in some of your responses, but it gets marred by your ugly remarks. You call the sister a sell out, why, because it's something you wouldn't do, well good for you, but we all have different lives to live and as long as someone isn't dating or marrying outside of their culture for some sort of validation or self loathing, then let them alone?! If you are trying to convince me or anyone else to "stay in your lane" then maybe you should let people know that building strong black families is important and the reasons for it. If the only reason you come on this site is to criticize, then don't be surpized or insulted when people get angry and criticize you back. I date both within and outside my culture and really there is nothing you could say to change that. You don't cause the sun to rise or set so... I do feel that you might have some good information, but I can't hear you with your self righteous attitude. That being said, have a very blessed day! peace
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Member says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
This article is very interesting. Caribbean women in particular tend to stick with Caribbean men in my opinion. South asians still date other South asians. South Americans date South Americans. I think this will increasingly happen because all this interracial dating has to man obstacles. One sellout black girl said she regrets being with her white husband on CNN to be black in America. Not only are these relationships falling apart when it comes to interracial dating. The media finally addresses this in the article. The global village is a myth. Most people stay within their culture. Yet, when the white man says he doesn't date "nappy headed black women" they call him hitler and racist. Stay in your lane in your relationships and other people will not continue to call you desperate and pathetic. Good day
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Tigggerfan, handle your business! Mr Laurelton Queens, sorry you have had such heart breaking experiences. I am glad my brother’s, Uncles, Nephew’s and son see Black women in a positive, respectful and glorious light. My mother, who was a strong, loving black woman, held our family together when my father was too sick to do it and when he was better she stepped aside and let him retake his place. My father was strong enough to honor her for doing what he needed her to do. He NEVER raised a hand to her. He encouraged her and built her up. God forbid if you were the man who spoke ill of her. It didn’t matter if they were right or wrong. You did not disrespect my mama and let daddy find out about it. Black men today have made an art of disrespecting black women. I hope it’s working for you because I want no part of it anymore. Good luck to you.